This Opinion was birthed out of watching a friend go through a tough time. So I sat down and thought about how I could be a good friend to this person. Hopefully it will help them and it will help you too.
I want to be a friend to this friend in need. How should I do it?
1. No matter how things feel, you are never alone. Have you ever noticed that when bad things happen in your life, sometimes you just want to withdraw? Do you get that feeling that no one has ever went through what you are going through now? Well that isn't true. There are people who have been where you are and there are still people who want to help. You and I should be these people. My life has felt very lonely at times. And because of certain circumstances, I have felt like I was all by myself on an island with no one there to help. I call it Despair Island. It is one of the worst places on earth to be because you are so alone. You feel like every part of your body hurts. You can't eat, you can't sleep and you can't seem to get your mind of the horrible creatures chasing you. What I didn't see where the boats waiting just off the beach. These boats are the other people in our lives and God who want to help. When is the last time you were a boat for someone? Understand there is a little water between you and the boat so you will have to swim a little. This isn't your boat. You didn't put it there, someone else showed up to help you. A very good friend of mine says, "We are all called to do something great, we just aren't called to do it alone." His Ivy League English is better than mine but this is the Texas translation.
2. Then instead of trying to tell them something about me, I will just listen. I will ask one question and then listen with both ears wide open. The question is - What are you feeling right now? We aren't going to find out about my day, or anything about me, we are just going to talk about what you are going through and how it makes you feel. We aren't going to talk about right and wrong, we are just going to talk about how you feel. How often have you wanted someone to just listen to what you are going through. To be a good friend, this is what you should do. Don't give advice that isn't requested. Remember, people don't care what you know until they know you care.
3. I will ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?" For us Christians, this is a must - Preach the gospel at all times and if absolutely necessary, use words.
4. I can let this person know how extremely special I think they are. They have so many good qualities and they deserve the very best. I don't want them to settle for second best in any area of their life. As a matter of fact, I have peeked inside this person's box and it is pretty special. I don't see many similar to it.
5. I can also tell this person that bad times don't last, good people do. Because I have seen part of the inside of the box, I can say that this person is a good one and I know this person will last.
6. Here's what I won't do. I won't condemn this person. Do you know why? Because I have done some not nice things just like we all have. If it wasn't for the screw ups in my life, Jesus wouldn't have had to be beaten, despised, ridiculed, crucified and sent to Hell for me. He was tortured so bad that people didn't recognize him as a human because of my screw ups. Instead of condemning me for stuff I did, instead of giving me what I deserved, He took the punishment for all my bad stuff. If he took that for me, I can't condemn someone else. I can't tell them, "I told you so," when things didn't work out. To this person especially, I won't do that.
There are other ways to be a friend and since I don't know them all, I would like you to share your ideas with me.
So I will leave you with this question - How are you a friend to a friend in need?
That's the Opinion of the Minion
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
The Football Player Who Couldn't Play
Today I want to continue looking at the box but this time I want to take a different approach. Let me ask this question to start - When we get a Christmas present what is the most important part? We certainly like the nice wrapping job (unless I did the wrapping), the colorful paper and the pretty bows. But after about two seconds of looking at it, we tear right through to get to the good stuff inside. Yet we do just the opposite with people?
With people sometimes their appearance is the most important. Have you ever looked at some good looking TV star who was having personal problems and thought - Why does someone with all that going for them have so many problems? The answer is the wrapping paper is more important than the gift.
If you gave me a priceless diamond for my birthday wrapped in a box and I went on and on about the way the box looked. I really admired the shiny wrapping paper and the bow. I made a big deal out of the glossy paper, opened the box and took out the diamond. Then I either threw away the diamond or worse, I told you it was worthless and dropped it.
After that I picked the box back up and played it the rest of the day. I tried to take the box to bed, to school, and to work. I showed all my friends the box and kept the box around day and night but I never ever looked at the diamond. I would be crazy. Yet we do this every day. We look at a good looking girl or guy and our first thought is about their appearance but we never even appreciate what's inside. Please don't misunderstand me, I think working out and taking care of your appearance is important and you should do this. I just think that the most precious part of a person is the inside not the outside.
Why do we do this? One of the reasons is because we don't spend enough time looking at the diamonds inside our own box. We spend time working on the outside of the box or just babysitting it. I work out about 7.5 hours a week. Is that a lot? Not really. There are so many people who work much harder than I do. But lets start with 7.5 hours a week. I spend that working on the outside of my box (and it still needs work). Do I spend at least 7.5 hours working on the important part of me (the inside)? I try to now but I didn't before. How many of us watch TV 7.5 hours a week? We spend plenty of time babysitting our minds yet we never spend anytime developing them or the other diamonds in box.
Another reason is we work on pretend gifts that aren't really in our box (phantom gifts) and we neglect the real ones that are. We do this because we think it will make other people like/accept us instead of developing the real gifts God put in us.
Let me illustrate. When I was in high school, I desperately wanted to be popular and I really wasn't. I was a pimple faced nerd. I was on the football team all four years of school (except for a couple of weeks as a sophomore) and I was one of the worst football players ever. As a matter of fact, when I quit for a few weeks, my coach told my mom that I shouldn't play because I wasn't good. It really made me mad but he was exactly right. After my sophomore year, I was one of the strongest kids on the team but I wasn't a good player. When the list came out for varsity and I wasn't on it, one of the kids in my class ridiculed me in front of people and it crushed me. This was a phantom diamond for me.
On the other hand, I was a pretty good musician in band. I played contra bass clarinet in the band and did really well as a freshman. After my freshman year, I quit the band and wouldn't play because I didn't think it would make me look cool. I couldn't appreciate the beautiful people in band because I didn't understand how really special and talented they were. I didn't think being in band would make me popular like being a jock would. Do you see what I was doing? I wasn't celebrating and developing the natural gifts God put in my box. I was working on phantom gifts because I wanted others to like me.
Unfortunately, I wasn't popular, didn't get the girl and I didn't even like me. Now, I am just me. I quit trying to be good enough for others. Whether anyone likes me or not, I really like me.
So let me ask you, two things. First, how much time are you spending on the gift vs. the box? Second, are you working on the real gifts inside you or the phantom ones just to impress someone else?
That's the Opinion of the Minion
With people sometimes their appearance is the most important. Have you ever looked at some good looking TV star who was having personal problems and thought - Why does someone with all that going for them have so many problems? The answer is the wrapping paper is more important than the gift.
If you gave me a priceless diamond for my birthday wrapped in a box and I went on and on about the way the box looked. I really admired the shiny wrapping paper and the bow. I made a big deal out of the glossy paper, opened the box and took out the diamond. Then I either threw away the diamond or worse, I told you it was worthless and dropped it.
After that I picked the box back up and played it the rest of the day. I tried to take the box to bed, to school, and to work. I showed all my friends the box and kept the box around day and night but I never ever looked at the diamond. I would be crazy. Yet we do this every day. We look at a good looking girl or guy and our first thought is about their appearance but we never even appreciate what's inside. Please don't misunderstand me, I think working out and taking care of your appearance is important and you should do this. I just think that the most precious part of a person is the inside not the outside.
Why do we do this? One of the reasons is because we don't spend enough time looking at the diamonds inside our own box. We spend time working on the outside of the box or just babysitting it. I work out about 7.5 hours a week. Is that a lot? Not really. There are so many people who work much harder than I do. But lets start with 7.5 hours a week. I spend that working on the outside of my box (and it still needs work). Do I spend at least 7.5 hours working on the important part of me (the inside)? I try to now but I didn't before. How many of us watch TV 7.5 hours a week? We spend plenty of time babysitting our minds yet we never spend anytime developing them or the other diamonds in box.
Another reason is we work on pretend gifts that aren't really in our box (phantom gifts) and we neglect the real ones that are. We do this because we think it will make other people like/accept us instead of developing the real gifts God put in us.
Let me illustrate. When I was in high school, I desperately wanted to be popular and I really wasn't. I was a pimple faced nerd. I was on the football team all four years of school (except for a couple of weeks as a sophomore) and I was one of the worst football players ever. As a matter of fact, when I quit for a few weeks, my coach told my mom that I shouldn't play because I wasn't good. It really made me mad but he was exactly right. After my sophomore year, I was one of the strongest kids on the team but I wasn't a good player. When the list came out for varsity and I wasn't on it, one of the kids in my class ridiculed me in front of people and it crushed me. This was a phantom diamond for me.
On the other hand, I was a pretty good musician in band. I played contra bass clarinet in the band and did really well as a freshman. After my freshman year, I quit the band and wouldn't play because I didn't think it would make me look cool. I couldn't appreciate the beautiful people in band because I didn't understand how really special and talented they were. I didn't think being in band would make me popular like being a jock would. Do you see what I was doing? I wasn't celebrating and developing the natural gifts God put in my box. I was working on phantom gifts because I wanted others to like me.
Unfortunately, I wasn't popular, didn't get the girl and I didn't even like me. Now, I am just me. I quit trying to be good enough for others. Whether anyone likes me or not, I really like me.
So let me ask you, two things. First, how much time are you spending on the gift vs. the box? Second, are you working on the real gifts inside you or the phantom ones just to impress someone else?
That's the Opinion of the Minion
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The Box - Tokyo Style
I am returning from a trip to Seoul and Tokyo. On this trip, I was struck by the beautiful sights, all the culture, and the beauty of these two countries. As I was standing outside a hotel room on a small mountain overlooking downtown Seoul, I was struck by the beauty but my mind continued to go back to the people. I wondered about the South Koreans and I thought of people who I knew would love to see Seoul from the place where I was standing. I guess this means that my post below stuck. I am reposting this now for two reasons. First, I think it is a very important point. Second, there are literally hundreds of young people from many countries who have become fans of the Opinion of the Minion since I posted it. So if you have already read this, you can disregard the post. If not, take a look. I think it will bless you.
I have given this a lot a of thought and I believe that the Lord showed me something that changed the way I view people.
You see, when God creates a person he gives them abilities, passions, desires, talents and all sorts of wonderful attributes that we seldom ever see. Then he takes all these things and puts them in a box with silver wrapping paper and very pretty red ribbon tied in a bow around it. He calls the box - You. It is a present to the world. When I saw this for the first time, I looked around at all the people walking by and said to myself, "Merry Christmas!" because all I could see were beautiful boxes waiting to be opened.
The problem is many people don't even know what is in their own box much less have taken the time to look in someone elses box. This starts when we are in school. As we grow up, we learn all kinds of new things about ourselves: what we like, what we don't, the changes that our bodies go through, we learn things in school about the world and we learn about social interaction. But sometimes that social interaction teaches us that the stuff in our box isn't all that important.
Have you ever felt like the stuff inside you doesn't really matter? Can you look back to a point in your life where you were doing something you really enjoyed and someone else called it or you stupid or worthless?
When you pull the most precious parts of your life out of the box and let other people see them, it is scary because you are definitely vulnerable at that point. But know this, the Lord put all those wonderful things inside and they are of great price and value. Don't let someone cheapen what is so precious by their comments.
Everyday, I see people who are alive but aren't living. I think it is because they have told themselves that the treasures in their box aren't important or worth much so they don't do anything with them. They may not have done this openly but below the surface it happens. You have to know that if God took the time to create you and put all those treasures inside you, they are important both to him and to me.
When was the last time you looked in your box and pulled out something you truly enjoyed and used it? When was the last time you opened the box? When was the last time you were passionate about anything? Are you so caught up in the rat race that your box isn't important any more?
Here is another interesting question - When was the last time you opened up someone else's box to see who they really are and celebrate the gifts inside them? Do you always know what is wrong with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids, friends, parents, family, coworkers but never look inside the box for what is so awesome about them?
Husbands, what would happen if instead of criticizing your wife, the next time you saw her, you decided to look at something that was so precious to her, so beautiful, so tender, so amazing and something she loved about herself? What would happen if you nurtured that gift and encouraged it to grow? What would happen if, after you opened her box, she decided that your box was the most special one on earth and decided to touch the core of who you are? What if you both decided to go deep in your relationship?
Boyfriends, what if you looked at her and decided that you wanted more than just what was inside her clothes, you wanted what was inside her heart. Girlfriends, what if you decided that you wanted the same thing? What if you wanted to explore who they are and make them the best person they could be while they did the same thing to you? What if you looked at them and asked, "What can I give?" instead of "What can I get?"
Is this a little intense? Yes. Is it worth it if just one person decides to open their box or open someone elses? Yes. You see, I believe that I got to see a little glimpse of the creation through the creator's eyes when He showed me this. It was truly an eye opening experience and I can definitely say I will never be the same. I got to see how He looked at and longs for His creation to be all that we can be and how His love for us goes so deep His heart aches for us.
So I guess the real question is what is in your box? I want to know.
That's still the Opinion of His Minion
I have given this a lot a of thought and I believe that the Lord showed me something that changed the way I view people.
You see, when God creates a person he gives them abilities, passions, desires, talents and all sorts of wonderful attributes that we seldom ever see. Then he takes all these things and puts them in a box with silver wrapping paper and very pretty red ribbon tied in a bow around it. He calls the box - You. It is a present to the world. When I saw this for the first time, I looked around at all the people walking by and said to myself, "Merry Christmas!" because all I could see were beautiful boxes waiting to be opened.
The problem is many people don't even know what is in their own box much less have taken the time to look in someone elses box. This starts when we are in school. As we grow up, we learn all kinds of new things about ourselves: what we like, what we don't, the changes that our bodies go through, we learn things in school about the world and we learn about social interaction. But sometimes that social interaction teaches us that the stuff in our box isn't all that important.
Have you ever felt like the stuff inside you doesn't really matter? Can you look back to a point in your life where you were doing something you really enjoyed and someone else called it or you stupid or worthless?
When you pull the most precious parts of your life out of the box and let other people see them, it is scary because you are definitely vulnerable at that point. But know this, the Lord put all those wonderful things inside and they are of great price and value. Don't let someone cheapen what is so precious by their comments.
Everyday, I see people who are alive but aren't living. I think it is because they have told themselves that the treasures in their box aren't important or worth much so they don't do anything with them. They may not have done this openly but below the surface it happens. You have to know that if God took the time to create you and put all those treasures inside you, they are important both to him and to me.
When was the last time you looked in your box and pulled out something you truly enjoyed and used it? When was the last time you opened the box? When was the last time you were passionate about anything? Are you so caught up in the rat race that your box isn't important any more?
Here is another interesting question - When was the last time you opened up someone else's box to see who they really are and celebrate the gifts inside them? Do you always know what is wrong with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids, friends, parents, family, coworkers but never look inside the box for what is so awesome about them?
Husbands, what would happen if instead of criticizing your wife, the next time you saw her, you decided to look at something that was so precious to her, so beautiful, so tender, so amazing and something she loved about herself? What would happen if you nurtured that gift and encouraged it to grow? What would happen if, after you opened her box, she decided that your box was the most special one on earth and decided to touch the core of who you are? What if you both decided to go deep in your relationship?
Boyfriends, what if you looked at her and decided that you wanted more than just what was inside her clothes, you wanted what was inside her heart. Girlfriends, what if you decided that you wanted the same thing? What if you wanted to explore who they are and make them the best person they could be while they did the same thing to you? What if you looked at them and asked, "What can I give?" instead of "What can I get?"
Is this a little intense? Yes. Is it worth it if just one person decides to open their box or open someone elses? Yes. You see, I believe that I got to see a little glimpse of the creation through the creator's eyes when He showed me this. It was truly an eye opening experience and I can definitely say I will never be the same. I got to see how He looked at and longs for His creation to be all that we can be and how His love for us goes so deep His heart aches for us.
So I guess the real question is what is in your box? I want to know.
That's still the Opinion of His Minion
Saturday, June 18, 2011
People Don't Care What You Know Until They Know How Much You Care
Today I want to post about something we all do - give other people advice.
I think it is OK to give others advice but most of the time we do it in the wrong way. Have you ever been around someone who is always telling you what to do? Most of the time you don't want their advice and because of the way they present it, you reject it. Why is that?
Most of the time when we give advice, it is to solve some problem. I am not saying that you shouldn't give advice or take advice. Getting good counsel on an issue is always a good thing. However, from what I have seen, most people don't really care what you know until they know and feel that you genuinely care about and their emotions first. How do you show someone you care? One way is to empathize with them or try to feel what they are going through.
Let's look at a bible example. The shortest verse in the bible is simply, "Jesus wept." This is an interesting story because it centers around the death of Lazarus. Now before we get to this verse, Jesus has a conversation with his apostles. They come and tell him that Lazarus is sick. Jesus says he is sleeping and the disciples think it is no big deal because if Lazarus is asleep, then he will be fine. However, Jesus knows that he is dead and basically tells the disciples that he is going to raise Lazarus from the dead. When he comes near Lazarus' relatives house, one of the relatives comes out and is crying about Lazarus' death. What did Jesus do? He cried with her. See he sympathized with her situation before he told her how to fix the situation. If He is God and He did it that way, doesn't it make sense that we should also?
If it had been most of us, we would have seen the woman and immediately told her to shut up and given her direction about how to fix the situation. But that isn't the way to go about it. We have to show people how much we care about them first. We have to show people that we are on their side and that we believe in them. After we do that about 95% of the time, then we might be in a place to offer other pieces of advice. Now, I am not saying that we shouldn't correct our kids especially when they are young because we have to do that. But you should still be encouraging them most of the time. It is a way to let love work in your and their lives.
I ask you to be honest with yourself. Are you always giving advice without considering what a person is feeling? If so, please take a minute to understand them completely and show them that you really do care.
That's the Opinion of the Minion
I think it is OK to give others advice but most of the time we do it in the wrong way. Have you ever been around someone who is always telling you what to do? Most of the time you don't want their advice and because of the way they present it, you reject it. Why is that?
Most of the time when we give advice, it is to solve some problem. I am not saying that you shouldn't give advice or take advice. Getting good counsel on an issue is always a good thing. However, from what I have seen, most people don't really care what you know until they know and feel that you genuinely care about and their emotions first. How do you show someone you care? One way is to empathize with them or try to feel what they are going through.
Let's look at a bible example. The shortest verse in the bible is simply, "Jesus wept." This is an interesting story because it centers around the death of Lazarus. Now before we get to this verse, Jesus has a conversation with his apostles. They come and tell him that Lazarus is sick. Jesus says he is sleeping and the disciples think it is no big deal because if Lazarus is asleep, then he will be fine. However, Jesus knows that he is dead and basically tells the disciples that he is going to raise Lazarus from the dead. When he comes near Lazarus' relatives house, one of the relatives comes out and is crying about Lazarus' death. What did Jesus do? He cried with her. See he sympathized with her situation before he told her how to fix the situation. If He is God and He did it that way, doesn't it make sense that we should also?
If it had been most of us, we would have seen the woman and immediately told her to shut up and given her direction about how to fix the situation. But that isn't the way to go about it. We have to show people how much we care about them first. We have to show people that we are on their side and that we believe in them. After we do that about 95% of the time, then we might be in a place to offer other pieces of advice. Now, I am not saying that we shouldn't correct our kids especially when they are young because we have to do that. But you should still be encouraging them most of the time. It is a way to let love work in your and their lives.
I ask you to be honest with yourself. Are you always giving advice without considering what a person is feeling? If so, please take a minute to understand them completely and show them that you really do care.
That's the Opinion of the Minion
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Failure to Communicate
After several posts about serious stuff, I thought I would lighten things up a little. Let me start by saying that I have three of the greatest children God ever gave anyone. My oldest is the builder of the family, the middle the teacher, and my daughter – well she is brilliant, beautiful and charismatic so I am not sure what she will do yet. My daughter K, has been proposed to at least 5 times that I know of and she just completed the first grade.
K – M, my mom has a bigger house than you.
K – M, my mom has a bigger house than you.
K – M, my dad has a nicer truck than you.
K – M, my dad has a nicer truck than you.
Well, when K was 4 years old, I had to go to an appointment so I asked my office manager, M, to watch her. We watched her together several times before when her mother needed us to so I didn’t think anything of it. I asked M to take her to lunch and when I returned I found M with a perplexed look on his face. He came into my office to tell me about his conversation with K while they rode back from lunch. It went something like this.
K – M, my mom has a bigger house than you doesn’t she?
M – YesK – M, my mom has a bigger house than you.
K – M, my mom has a bigger house than you.
K – M, my dad has a nicer truck than you doesn’t he?
M – YesK – M, my dad has a nicer truck than you.
K – M, my dad has a nicer truck than you.
This isn’t exactly how this went but you get the point. Needless to say, I was furious.
Let me digress for a minute to say, don’t let anyone judge you (and you shouldn’t judge anyone) based on what you wear, where you live, or what you drive. You are important because you are you. You are a very special creation and it is wrong to judge anyone based on how much money they have, how smart they are, or the color of their skin. All these things are just the wrapping paper on the Box, they don’t have anything to do with what is inside the Box and that is the important stuff.
Back to the story – When this happened, K was in another office watching a video. I stormed in that room and slammed the door so hard the walls shook. As my face contorted into that angry face that parents get right before they are going to discipline their children, I was faced with a small problem. What if K didn’t understand what she did was wrong? Right then and there, I decided I was going to chew her out but not spank her. So I spent about 5 minutes letting her know how wrong that type of behavior was and how it very possibly hurt M’s feelings. My parting statement was, “I’ll tell you one thing young lady, you are going to apologize to M before we leave her today. Do you understand me?”
Just then, she had the most serene look on her face. That pitiful one with the puppy dog eyes that says I am so sorry for screwing up. She looked as beautiful and as sweet as I have ever seen her and she said, “Yes sir!” She had made a mistake and she was going to fix it.
A little time passes and she comes into my office to talk. Within a few minutes, M walks in behind her to talk about business and I am still fuming.
“K, do you have something to say to M?” I ask with anger in my voice.
Again through those innocent, sweet little blue eyes, my beautiful, caring, blond headed little angel looks up and says to me, “Yes sir!” Then she turns to M with that look in her eyes. It is so innocent, so caring and so pure. She has seen the error of her ways and is going to make things right and she very softly says,
“M, I’m sorry you have a small house.”
That’s the Opinion of the Minion
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Who Are You?
Today I want to talk for a minute about a hard subject but one that is of utmost importance. Who are you?
As I have said before, when God made you he created a very special person and in that person he put wonderful traits, characteristics and abilities. As adults, most of us don't really understand that God made us a very special creation and we haven't taken time to appreciate the gifts that God placed inside us. Understand that no matter how hard your life is, you are still an amazing gift presented to this world at your birth and you owe it to yourself and the world to develop you to the fullest. Also, we are selfish and decide to work on certain areas of our life. Our favorite gifts should be used every time we get a chance. But what about that special gift that is inside you that someone else might need? Have you ever taken the time to work on something inside you that might be a benefit to someone else? For instance, maybe you really are a funny person. Do you know what you could do for someone who is having a bad day if you made them laugh? That doesn't seem like a big thing but it can be really big.
What if Dr. Martin Luther King (who is one of the most amazing gifts ever given to the earth) never had a dream and decided to chase it? The world is a much better place today thanks to his generosity with the gifts God put inside him. This may surprise some but I have never written until now (I can hear some of my friends laughing). I think some of these Opinions have actually helped people. If so, then how selfish would I be if I didn't try to write? I wouldn't get blessed and I would miss an opportunity to help someone.
What about you? Do you like to sing? Do you like to build things? What if you ignore your ability to build things and some great invention never gets built? You have something this world needs locked up inside you right now.
But before you can develop any of these things, you have to know who you are. That may sound silly but it is a rather profound statement. Many of the people who read this are young people. For you, my message is be yourself. It is very easy to try to be someone you aren't. We do it to get in the right click or avoid being picked on. But when you change to be someone you are not, you rob the world of the great gifts that God placed inside you. Kids, if you start trying to change yourself to be what you think someone else wants you to be, you will end up being miserable.
Let's say you want a boy or girl to think you are cool so you change the way you dress, act, or talk. If you do one of two things will happen - 1. Eventually the real you will come out and then what? or 2. This is the real tragedy - You can end up being someone you aren't. If you do that, over time you forget who you are and become miserable. I see adults all the time who don't really know who they are and what they like anymore. It is really sad to see. Because what you do is take something so wonderful that God took special care to create and love and you tried to change that person into something different. Please don't do that - YOU ARE WORTH TOO MUCH.
Adults, we do the same thing. How often do we do things we really don't like to please other people. Have you ever pretended you really loved football just to try to impress some guy? Have you ever pretended you like romantic comedies to impress some girl? Over time, you can fake so much stuff that you loose touch with the real you. See we aren't that much different than our kids. After all we learned how to be that way when we were kids.
For the last several months, I have really taken a hard look at who I am and who I am not. I saw other people that looked happy and tried to act like them hoping I would be happy too. Do you know what happened? I got more down than ever. It wasn't until I read a book called Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers that I really remembered who God made me to be. I don't want to give the book away but one of the characters in the book is named Michael. If I am honest with myself, I am a lot like Michael and want to be more like him in some ways. Since I read that book, I started getting back to my roots and rediscovering who I really am. Every day, I am becoming more and more the person I want to be. What's funny is that every day, I find myself wanting to understand more about God's love for me and how I can show that love to others. I am also discovering other things about myself. This blog is one of them.
As I have said before, when God made you he created a very special person and in that person he put wonderful traits, characteristics and abilities. As adults, most of us don't really understand that God made us a very special creation and we haven't taken time to appreciate the gifts that God placed inside us. Understand that no matter how hard your life is, you are still an amazing gift presented to this world at your birth and you owe it to yourself and the world to develop you to the fullest. Also, we are selfish and decide to work on certain areas of our life. Our favorite gifts should be used every time we get a chance. But what about that special gift that is inside you that someone else might need? Have you ever taken the time to work on something inside you that might be a benefit to someone else? For instance, maybe you really are a funny person. Do you know what you could do for someone who is having a bad day if you made them laugh? That doesn't seem like a big thing but it can be really big.
What if Dr. Martin Luther King (who is one of the most amazing gifts ever given to the earth) never had a dream and decided to chase it? The world is a much better place today thanks to his generosity with the gifts God put inside him. This may surprise some but I have never written until now (I can hear some of my friends laughing). I think some of these Opinions have actually helped people. If so, then how selfish would I be if I didn't try to write? I wouldn't get blessed and I would miss an opportunity to help someone.
What about you? Do you like to sing? Do you like to build things? What if you ignore your ability to build things and some great invention never gets built? You have something this world needs locked up inside you right now.
But before you can develop any of these things, you have to know who you are. That may sound silly but it is a rather profound statement. Many of the people who read this are young people. For you, my message is be yourself. It is very easy to try to be someone you aren't. We do it to get in the right click or avoid being picked on. But when you change to be someone you are not, you rob the world of the great gifts that God placed inside you. Kids, if you start trying to change yourself to be what you think someone else wants you to be, you will end up being miserable.
Let's say you want a boy or girl to think you are cool so you change the way you dress, act, or talk. If you do one of two things will happen - 1. Eventually the real you will come out and then what? or 2. This is the real tragedy - You can end up being someone you aren't. If you do that, over time you forget who you are and become miserable. I see adults all the time who don't really know who they are and what they like anymore. It is really sad to see. Because what you do is take something so wonderful that God took special care to create and love and you tried to change that person into something different. Please don't do that - YOU ARE WORTH TOO MUCH.
Adults, we do the same thing. How often do we do things we really don't like to please other people. Have you ever pretended you really loved football just to try to impress some guy? Have you ever pretended you like romantic comedies to impress some girl? Over time, you can fake so much stuff that you loose touch with the real you. See we aren't that much different than our kids. After all we learned how to be that way when we were kids.
For the last several months, I have really taken a hard look at who I am and who I am not. I saw other people that looked happy and tried to act like them hoping I would be happy too. Do you know what happened? I got more down than ever. It wasn't until I read a book called Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers that I really remembered who God made me to be. I don't want to give the book away but one of the characters in the book is named Michael. If I am honest with myself, I am a lot like Michael and want to be more like him in some ways. Since I read that book, I started getting back to my roots and rediscovering who I really am. Every day, I am becoming more and more the person I want to be. What's funny is that every day, I find myself wanting to understand more about God's love for me and how I can show that love to others. I am also discovering other things about myself. This blog is one of them.
So I will leave you with this - Who are you? Do you know? The world needs the special someone that is you. Is this a little corny? Is it still also very true - Yes.
And that's the Opinion of the Minion
And that's the Opinion of the Minion
Friday, June 10, 2011
Something's Right
When I started doing these blogs, they were just a way for me to express myself through writing. I was trying to take a piece of me out of the box (see my blog on the Box) and show the world. But now as more people begin to follow The Opinion of the Minion, I realize that there is something more to this than just my rants.
I think the purpose for the Opinion of the Minion is to point out what is right with this country and the world. I am very tired of hearing everyone talk about how bad things are. If you listen to the media or politicians or even some preachers, they will tell you things are bad and things are just going to get worse. The media uses bad news to sell newspapers and TV time all over the place. That is a big reason I don't watch the evening news. If you listen to it there are three stories about bad things happening to bad people, the sports section, one more story about something bad happening to someone, the weather and and then we fade to Wheel of Fortune. I don't know about you but my grandmother has always told me, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Apparently the major networks have forgotten that message.
Don't the politicians use these tactics every time we hear them. The Republicans say the Democrats are ruining this country and the Democrats say the Republicans are. That is how they all work to get elected. The message is, "If you don't elect me, my Republican/Democratic opponent will ruin your life. My opponent is to be feared at all costs."
Well, I am totally fed up with all the negative stuff that we hear about. Don't get me wrong. I AM NOT saying that there are no problems. There are serious issues that need to be addressed. What I am saying is tell me something good that is going on in the world.
Do you like Superman? He has always been my favorite super hero and I have always wanted to be like him because he brought hope to Metropolis. In some very small way, I guess this is my attempt to be like him and give people something good to think about. I want you to know that there is hope in any situation. Some people might say that we shouldn't get our hopes up. That is one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard. Especially if you are a Christian, your hopes should sky rocket. Are you going to hit all your goals in life? Probably not but why not aim high and see what you hit instead of aiming low and hitting your mark.
I want to bring you a story of something that went right for someone. He was on Korea's got talent. This video is about 8 minutes long but it will certainly bring a tear to your eye and touch your heart.
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=KDWKD7NX
Please send me your success stories as I would like to celebrate the things that are right with this world instead of continuously glorifying the things that are wrong.
That's the Opinion of the Minion
I think the purpose for the Opinion of the Minion is to point out what is right with this country and the world. I am very tired of hearing everyone talk about how bad things are. If you listen to the media or politicians or even some preachers, they will tell you things are bad and things are just going to get worse. The media uses bad news to sell newspapers and TV time all over the place. That is a big reason I don't watch the evening news. If you listen to it there are three stories about bad things happening to bad people, the sports section, one more story about something bad happening to someone, the weather and and then we fade to Wheel of Fortune. I don't know about you but my grandmother has always told me, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Apparently the major networks have forgotten that message.
Don't the politicians use these tactics every time we hear them. The Republicans say the Democrats are ruining this country and the Democrats say the Republicans are. That is how they all work to get elected. The message is, "If you don't elect me, my Republican/Democratic opponent will ruin your life. My opponent is to be feared at all costs."
Well, I am totally fed up with all the negative stuff that we hear about. Don't get me wrong. I AM NOT saying that there are no problems. There are serious issues that need to be addressed. What I am saying is tell me something good that is going on in the world.
Do you like Superman? He has always been my favorite super hero and I have always wanted to be like him because he brought hope to Metropolis. In some very small way, I guess this is my attempt to be like him and give people something good to think about. I want you to know that there is hope in any situation. Some people might say that we shouldn't get our hopes up. That is one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard. Especially if you are a Christian, your hopes should sky rocket. Are you going to hit all your goals in life? Probably not but why not aim high and see what you hit instead of aiming low and hitting your mark.
I want to bring you a story of something that went right for someone. He was on Korea's got talent. This video is about 8 minutes long but it will certainly bring a tear to your eye and touch your heart.
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=KDWKD7NX
Please send me your success stories as I would like to celebrate the things that are right with this world instead of continuously glorifying the things that are wrong.
That's the Opinion of the Minion
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
What is Love?
What I share today may not be anything new to you but I want you to consider for a moment what is Love.
Is it a state of being? We say we are “in love” with our spouse. What does that mean? Does that mean that we are content to live in the same house, share the same responsibilities, enjoy having that person as company to share life. Is he or she someone who gives you stability and someone you want to mother/father your children? Are we happy to have a companion? Of course marriage goes much deeper but you get the point.
Is it an emotion? We say that we feel loved or we feel love for someone. Who doesn’t like that first kiss if it is a good one or the feeling we feel when we hold someone’s hand and take a walk? How great does it feel when you take her in your arms and dance a slow waltz (or just hold her) while you stare deeply into her eyes and you see that twinkle in her eye that says she is totally yours. The smile on her face, touches your core and you wish you could stay in that exact moment forever.
Is it something higher? Why is it we “love” our children when they are first born. They can’t do anything for us. As a matter of fact, they are really just a drain on us as newborns. The constantly require attention – feed me, change my diaper, change my clothes, bathe me, I am going to sleep when I want and when I am tired of sleeping, I am going to wake you up regardless of whether or not you have gotten any sleep. Yet, we love these little people. We protect them, we cloth them, we play with them.
Is it a catalyst that causes us to do something? When you truly love your kids, your spouse or your significant other, you are motivated to do something for them. For those of you who have children, what happens when your seven year old comes up to you out of the blue and says, “Mommy or Daddy, I love you”? When that happens to me, my first thought is how can I bless you? What can I do for you?
Is it something else?
The answer goes a little deeper. All these things are the effect of love. The bible says that God is love. It doesn’t say he is in love (state of being), he loves (a verb) or he feels love (an emotion). It says he his love. While he does the things I listed, they are outgrowths of who he is. The bible also says we are made in his image which means we are made like him. That means love is who we are. It is the genetic matter of our spirit.
Because I am love:
1. I can be "in love" with a spouse.
2. Seeing that look in her eyes, holding her in my arms and feeling the brush of her lips against mine causes me to feel warm all over.
3. I care for and about my children.
4. I am motivated to do things for others.
Now some of you may be saying, I really don’t feel or do those things you listed. Let me tell you – that’s OK just don’t stay that way. Think for a second about your physical body. The first day you were born, could you run a race? Of course not! Your body had to develop and strengthen to the point where you could. The potential was in you but that potential had to be developed. If you don’t act in love the way you should, understand that you have to grow and develop that potential just like anything else.
We should constantly look for places to develop ourselves (love) today. Show the real you (love) to someone else today.
And that’s the Opinion of the Minion.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Eleven Herbs and Spices
How many of you like Kentucky Fried Chicken? I know I do. As a matter of fact, it was my very first job when I was sixteen. Well that's not entirely true. My first job was for exactly 6 hours one day when I was fifteen. The manager of a supermarket hired me as a stock boy. I told him I was only 15 and he said he thought I could work there. He found out several hours later I could not and I was let go. I had to wear one of those square knit ties from the 80s. It was light blue. I didn't like the job anyway.
But I digress. Kentucky Fried Chicken was my first real job and for a 16 year old it wasn't bad. We got free chicken and free drinks. Back then free was one of my favorite words. One of my best friends and I started there at the same time. We were both big boys. We got 30 minutes for lunch and both of us saw that as a personal challenge to stuff as much chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, biscuits and little bucket parfaits in us as possible in a short time. We always suffered from a hangover in those days. Not the kind you think. Our stomachs hung way over our belts. I should right a book called how to weigh 350 pounds. I don't think it would be a best seller but I can guarantee I know how to get there.
Anyway, back then the only things we were concerned with were girls, girls, girls, gas for the car and girls. Neither one of us were very successful in those categories but we tried. We both started in the kitchen and there is something about the smell of fresh chicken when it comes out of the fryer. It is one of the best smells. Then you add on the biscuits coated in butter and the gravy and you really have something.
That friend of mine was diagnosed last year with cancer. Thank God he is doing well now and they think they have the whole situation under control. Well, the other day I went by KFC on my way home from someplace and when through the drive thru I got a whiff of the kitchen. It still smells the same is it did back then and for just one sliver of time, just a few milliseconds, I was sixteen years old again. I wasn't running a company, taking care of kids, taking care of myself or anything else. I was the kid who wasn't a good athlete, who only really cared about hanging out with his friends, not trying to keep up with the Jones' or anyone else. For one brief instant, I realized the how easy the world was back then and how much things change.
I think we should all take a minute to be thankful for life and then take another minute to remember the things in our past that made us who we are today.
And that's, the Opinion of the Minion
But I digress. Kentucky Fried Chicken was my first real job and for a 16 year old it wasn't bad. We got free chicken and free drinks. Back then free was one of my favorite words. One of my best friends and I started there at the same time. We were both big boys. We got 30 minutes for lunch and both of us saw that as a personal challenge to stuff as much chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, biscuits and little bucket parfaits in us as possible in a short time. We always suffered from a hangover in those days. Not the kind you think. Our stomachs hung way over our belts. I should right a book called how to weigh 350 pounds. I don't think it would be a best seller but I can guarantee I know how to get there.
Anyway, back then the only things we were concerned with were girls, girls, girls, gas for the car and girls. Neither one of us were very successful in those categories but we tried. We both started in the kitchen and there is something about the smell of fresh chicken when it comes out of the fryer. It is one of the best smells. Then you add on the biscuits coated in butter and the gravy and you really have something.
That friend of mine was diagnosed last year with cancer. Thank God he is doing well now and they think they have the whole situation under control. Well, the other day I went by KFC on my way home from someplace and when through the drive thru I got a whiff of the kitchen. It still smells the same is it did back then and for just one sliver of time, just a few milliseconds, I was sixteen years old again. I wasn't running a company, taking care of kids, taking care of myself or anything else. I was the kid who wasn't a good athlete, who only really cared about hanging out with his friends, not trying to keep up with the Jones' or anyone else. For one brief instant, I realized the how easy the world was back then and how much things change.
I think we should all take a minute to be thankful for life and then take another minute to remember the things in our past that made us who we are today.
And that's, the Opinion of the Minion
Friday, June 3, 2011
What is Strength
At the request of a friend of mine, below please find my latest opinion.
Have you ever wondered why girls are attracted to "bad boys" and boys are attracted to "bad girls"?
I think the answer is because of a perceived strength of boys and girls. When we find a "significant other," it should be someone who has strengths to compliment our weaknesses and vice versa. But the real question is what is strength? Girls want to feel secure so they are attracted to the guy who has a little attitude appears strong. He treats them badly but he is macho and "tough." Unfortunately for them, most girls don't really understand strength. See the fact that the guy can walk around puffing out his chest, "protecting" you from threats, being a smart mouth and wearing an affliction tee shirt doesn't make him strong. This makes no sense. Ladies, how often does someone threaten you with physical bodily harm? How often do you need emotional support vs. physical support?
Ladies, let me give you some examples of a true "strong" man who can protect you:
1. A man who is not afraid to have emotions of his own and is not afraid to show you them.
2. A man who has a job. Now men, in this economy if you just lost your job, I am not saying anything negative about you but if you haven't looked for a job in three years and just sit around waiting for your chance to be on UFC, let me help you - get a real job.
3. A man who is OK with you showing your emotions and knows how to empathize with you. A strong man knows how to protect your emotions when they need to be protected.
4. A strong man knows who is God and knows it isn't him.
5. A strong man isn't afraid of your relationship with God. He knows that if you put God first and he is second, that he will be much better off than if he was first.
6. A strong man knows how to do right because it is right whether or not it is in his personal best interest to do so.
7. A strong man really cares how you feel and looks out for your best interest.
8. A strong man wants to see you achieve all your dreams and shows genuine interest in them.
9. How does he treat the wait staff when you are at a restaurant? If he treats them disrespectfully, one day he will treat you the same way.
10. Is he really there for you when you need him? Does he listen to you? Does he value your opinion?
Ladies, the problem is that you will not know if a man is strong merely because he looks good or because you went out with him once. When you were in school, you had several grades that made up your final semester grade. There was daily work, quizes, tests and final exams. You can't know what type of man he is until he has been through all of these life tests. Also, notice that it takes all semester to accumulate the grades. You won't know how strong he is by outward appearance, you have to see all the work. Ladies if you are dating a man who is tough guy strong but not strong past that you are dating a child who's body is old. I am not saying that I have completely matured by any means but I am certainly working on it.
Now men, lets talk about us. We are always concerned first and foremost about looks. If a woman doesn't look pretty, we immediately aren't interested. Is this bad? Not necessarily because physical chemistry is definitely important. We are drawn to someone who helps us with our self esteem. If we are with a really pretty girl then that tells other people that we "have what it takes" to catch the really hot girl. That self esteem boost can be very temporary. Let me give you a few thoughts about finding a good girl instead of a bad one.
1. Does she show genuine interest in you and what you are doing?
2. Is that interest positive or negative. If she is interested in you but always in a negative way, then run from her.
3. How does she treat other people around her? Be careful if she is mean, inconsiderate or rude to people around you because that gives you an indication of what she is really like. One day she will act the same way to you.
4. Does she go out of her way to help other people when there is no perceived benefit to her for doing so?
5. Does she know God?
6. Ladies want to be treated like queens. Men, ask yourself this question - If I do all the work to treat her like a queen, what do I get for my efforts. If it is just sex, soon enough the work put in will not be worth what you get for it. Your work must get you something far more rewarding - Her heart committed to yours.
7. Gentlemen, we all know the cost. Make sure she is really worth it.
8. When you are in a bad situation, how does she react? Does she do the right thing or look for the way out that is most beneficial to her?
Ladies and Gentlemen, this list is not a complete list by any stretch but I want to challenge you to look beyond the superficial traits about a man or woman and try to see who they really are - good or bad. I think Blake Shelton summed it up pretty well when he sang, "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking?"
You attract what you are so do you have real strength?
That's the Opinion of the Minion
Have you ever wondered why girls are attracted to "bad boys" and boys are attracted to "bad girls"?
I think the answer is because of a perceived strength of boys and girls. When we find a "significant other," it should be someone who has strengths to compliment our weaknesses and vice versa. But the real question is what is strength? Girls want to feel secure so they are attracted to the guy who has a little attitude appears strong. He treats them badly but he is macho and "tough." Unfortunately for them, most girls don't really understand strength. See the fact that the guy can walk around puffing out his chest, "protecting" you from threats, being a smart mouth and wearing an affliction tee shirt doesn't make him strong. This makes no sense. Ladies, how often does someone threaten you with physical bodily harm? How often do you need emotional support vs. physical support?
Ladies, let me give you some examples of a true "strong" man who can protect you:
1. A man who is not afraid to have emotions of his own and is not afraid to show you them.
2. A man who has a job. Now men, in this economy if you just lost your job, I am not saying anything negative about you but if you haven't looked for a job in three years and just sit around waiting for your chance to be on UFC, let me help you - get a real job.
3. A man who is OK with you showing your emotions and knows how to empathize with you. A strong man knows how to protect your emotions when they need to be protected.
4. A strong man knows who is God and knows it isn't him.
5. A strong man isn't afraid of your relationship with God. He knows that if you put God first and he is second, that he will be much better off than if he was first.
6. A strong man knows how to do right because it is right whether or not it is in his personal best interest to do so.
7. A strong man really cares how you feel and looks out for your best interest.
8. A strong man wants to see you achieve all your dreams and shows genuine interest in them.
9. How does he treat the wait staff when you are at a restaurant? If he treats them disrespectfully, one day he will treat you the same way.
10. Is he really there for you when you need him? Does he listen to you? Does he value your opinion?
Ladies, the problem is that you will not know if a man is strong merely because he looks good or because you went out with him once. When you were in school, you had several grades that made up your final semester grade. There was daily work, quizes, tests and final exams. You can't know what type of man he is until he has been through all of these life tests. Also, notice that it takes all semester to accumulate the grades. You won't know how strong he is by outward appearance, you have to see all the work. Ladies if you are dating a man who is tough guy strong but not strong past that you are dating a child who's body is old. I am not saying that I have completely matured by any means but I am certainly working on it.
Now men, lets talk about us. We are always concerned first and foremost about looks. If a woman doesn't look pretty, we immediately aren't interested. Is this bad? Not necessarily because physical chemistry is definitely important. We are drawn to someone who helps us with our self esteem. If we are with a really pretty girl then that tells other people that we "have what it takes" to catch the really hot girl. That self esteem boost can be very temporary. Let me give you a few thoughts about finding a good girl instead of a bad one.
1. Does she show genuine interest in you and what you are doing?
2. Is that interest positive or negative. If she is interested in you but always in a negative way, then run from her.
3. How does she treat other people around her? Be careful if she is mean, inconsiderate or rude to people around you because that gives you an indication of what she is really like. One day she will act the same way to you.
4. Does she go out of her way to help other people when there is no perceived benefit to her for doing so?
5. Does she know God?
6. Ladies want to be treated like queens. Men, ask yourself this question - If I do all the work to treat her like a queen, what do I get for my efforts. If it is just sex, soon enough the work put in will not be worth what you get for it. Your work must get you something far more rewarding - Her heart committed to yours.
7. Gentlemen, we all know the cost. Make sure she is really worth it.
8. When you are in a bad situation, how does she react? Does she do the right thing or look for the way out that is most beneficial to her?
Ladies and Gentlemen, this list is not a complete list by any stretch but I want to challenge you to look beyond the superficial traits about a man or woman and try to see who they really are - good or bad. I think Blake Shelton summed it up pretty well when he sang, "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking?"
You attract what you are so do you have real strength?
That's the Opinion of the Minion
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