Someone asked me to write about why girls have so much drama. I will try to do this now. Before I start though, I need to be clear that drama comes from both girls and boys. Boys, we like to think we are drama free but that's just not really true now is it?
There are two types of drama. The drama you create and the drama that falls in your lap. I run a small company in Texas most days and I can tell you that there is a certain amount of drama that falls in my lap every day. I didn't go looking for it, it just seemed to find me. Now this drama is usually created by someone else. So from their perspective, this would be the second type of drama. The drama that they create. Regardless of who creates it, now there is a certain situation that needs to be dealt with. So what do we do next? To answer that question we have to ask another one first. How concerned are you about the person that created the drama? Are you more concerned about yourself or them? Am I leading you to answer this question a certain way? I certainly hope so.
So let's answer this question both ways. Let's say that I don't care one flip about this person. I only care about what is best for me and what I need. What the other person needs isn't really important. I don't care whether they get their need met as long as I get what I want. Well if you answer the question like this, then you really need help. We weren't put here just to get everything we want. We were put here to help others. If you are in this category, when was the last time you stopped to help someone else? But if this is you then you are either going to ignore the person creating the drama all together or do something to make their life harder with your response to them.
Now let's consider the other side of the coin. What if someone comes to you with drama and you really want to help. Before you wade off into the middle of the drama, understand this. Most drama very emotional to the person in the middle of it. Now as I have said many times, emotions signal needs. So let's look a little closer at the girl or the boy with the drama. They are emotional so what do they really need? Sometimes their drama is a legitimate need all its own. Like how to pay a bill or how to get medical help, etc. Sometimes it's not really that big a deal. But, it is a big deal to the person in the middle of it. Most of the time that a person starts drama, I think what they are really saying is, "I need attention." They are crying out. Just like a kid who feels that no one is paying attention to him will do something to get in trouble. It may not be the right type of attention but it is some attention.
I think when we grow up, we change this approach slightly. When you see someone overly dramatic, they are just asking for someone to pay attention to them. They want someone to notice them and to understand what they are going through. So let's get to one of my favorite questions, "How can I help?" Well, sometimes I can help by just listening.
There are times when a person will come in my office or call me and they just need to talk to someone that they know cares. Now there are mostly men in my office so we would never tell you that and we may not even know that. But sometimes we just need to know that there is someone else out there listening. Recently in my personal life, I have been through a lot of not nice stuff. It has been very frustrating and I felt very alone for a long time. During those times, I talked to people I worked with and I blew some stuff completely out of proportion. I made the drama and I made it big. In one instance, I acted like a complete idiot for about a week. John Wayne said, "Life is hard but life is harder when you are stupid." I was certainly making my life harder than it should have been. But the point is my friends were there to listen through the whole thing. As completely ridiculous as I looked and acted, they were there for me and they never told me how stupid I was acting.
Guess what, I have done the same thing for others on many occasions. They have brought me stuff that I thought they were blowing all out of proportion and I just listened and tried to help. Now I am not saying that you have to let your own life be totally consumed with some one's drama but I am saying that if you are a good friend, you will learn to listen to them and empathize with them a little. Give them a little attention. Most of the time, that is what they really want. Guess what, if you look at your own life, you probably create a little unnecessary drama of your own. Now don't go all defensive on me, we all do it. But to us, it isn't drama, it's something very critical to life.
So I guess the choice is yours are you a friend or not?
That's the Opinion of the Minion
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Friendship vs. Dating Part 2
Today I want to continue our discussion on relationships. From those of you who posted comments, the general impression I get is that friendships are much easier than “dating” relationships. In some ways they seem preferable to dating relationships. But isn’t finding true love one of the major goals in life? Don’t we want to find that one special person? How can we do that if we don’t “date”? Or is dating just what we do to satisfy the physical needs we have? It’s like we are saying So now I have someone who is my friend and then I have someone else who I date. Before I get to my next point, I would like DD to tell you how she views what we do when we meet someone new.
DD - I think in general there are two “circles” the opposite sex falls into when you meet them. Friendship or Dating. Of course it’s not that simple though. That’s like saying relationships are black or white. If only. So I will add a middle ground called the “grey” area. This area is where the two circles mix. I think in general, when we meet someone new, we place them into either a friendship circle or dating circle. Naturally, this is based on looks. What else do you have to base it on? You don’t know their personality, what motivates them or what their interests are. I also think women “place” men into one circle or the other based on looks as much as men do it. It’s the process of getting to know a person that creates the grey area. Ladies, say you immediately place a guy into the “dating circle.” He meets whatever conscious or subconscious criteria for what you find attractive. Then you find yourself in a social setting with this guy and all he does is talk about himself. He never shows interest in what makes you tick, only him. Over time, he slowly becomes less and less attractive. He might initially move from the dating circle to the “grey” area. You’re still attracted to him and would still be interested in going out but then over time, he moves into the solid “friendship” circle. Now I whole-heartedly believe a guy can start out in the friendship circle and over time move through the gray area and into the dating area. Take the movie Hitch, for example. Kevin James’ character, Albert Brennaman, has placed the celebrity, Allegra Cole, directly in the dating circle. I don’t think his placement is based solely on looks though. He has been around her in the investment meetings and likes that she wants to invest her money into her friend’s business. After she meets him, I think she placed him in the friendship circle. But as she got to know him better, she moved Albert into the grey area. And by the end of the movie, when she realized the dancing, the mustard on his shirt, and pulling out the inhaler wasn’t an act, she moved him into the dating circle.
So we now have these circles that we place people in. Let me ask a very scary question. What would happen if I found a girl that I placed in the friend category? What if that person became someone that I shared my most inner thoughts, secrets, concerns, successes and failures with? What if that person was the one who was there for me without judgment and I was there for her without judgment? What if we enjoyed doing the same things and were really relaxed just hanging out together? What if she was someone I felt I could totally be myself around (the good, the bad, and the ugly)? What if she was the first person I wanted to talk to when things went good or bad and I was the same for her? What if she was my best friend? Then what if I kissed her?
What do you think?
That's the Opinion of a couple of Minions
Friday, July 22, 2011
What is the Definition of You?
Hi Guys and Gals,
While DD and I are working on the next part of Friendship vs. Dating, I wanted to take a few minutes to discuss who defines you? I was asked by a friend of the Minion, MW, to write about this subject. MW, thank you so much for your encouragement on FaceBook. I really appreciate it.
So lets talk about it. What is the definition of You? One definition is "used to indicate a specific individual." This is from The American Heritage Dictionary. That doesn't tell me anything about you so it's not very helpful. Since the dictionary can't help where do we turn? Should we turn to the people around us? How about our parents? How about the people we work with? Can they give us a good definition of who we are?
I think we look to the people around us a lot. And while they may know some things about us, I don't think they are the best place to look. This article was started based on "The Football Player Who Couldn't Play." In it, I talked about wanting to play football but being a terrible player. I thought that I would be in the right crowd if I was a player. Why did I think that? Because most of the popular kids in school were football players. I was letting the people around me define what I should be. In that case, it was a bad thing. What if people say that to be in the right crowd, I have to do drugs or have sex? Then I can only define myself as "good" if I am doing drugs and having sex. Does that sound crazy? It should because it is.
Now, lets move forward a few years. When are parents talk about being successful, many times they want us to be doctors or lawyers and it seems like that is a good standard for defining whether or not you are a "success." So maybe, we can look to the world's standard to define us or at least who we should be. So let me tell you something personal about me. I am a lawyer. At least I have a law license. I have passed the bar exam in Texas. So the good news is that based using worldly standards, I can define myself as a success right. Absolutely wrong. Being a lawyer, doctor, janitor, policeman, or a dentist doesn't define me or you.
So we have looked at the crowd we hang out around and "the worldly standard" to define us without finding a good place. Where should we look next?
As you can probably guess, this is where I was headed all along. Especially if you are a Christian, you should look at that book we carry to church on Sunday. I can tell you some things from that book about you.
1. You are loved. God has an intense burning love for you. He isn't sitting back trying how to knock you down, he is sitting back waiting for you to take him up on his promises. His love is more passionate for you than words can describe. Did you know his heart aches just to spend time with you and tell you much he loves and admires you?
2. You are headed to Heaven when you are done here. I have never been but the Bible describes it as a pretty cool place.
3. You can overcome every trial. The bible says that we overcome the world by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.
Well, you get the point. I could go on for pages defining you from the bible.
"OK Mr. Minion, that's fine," you say, "but how do I know who I am and what I am supposed to do here on earth? How do I know what I am supposed to like and not like, etc.?" Who defines that part of us? The answer is a little hard to swallow. It's not your parents, your family, your friends or anyone else. Who defines you? - The answer is You should define yourself and no one else. Why? Because no one can truly look inside your box and see all that is there besides you. Even if your family and friends have your best interest at heart, they cannot define you. The don't have the ability to do that. Who you are is something between you and God. Just like me playing football (or at least being on the team) you are the only one who knows what you really like.
I can't tell you how often I have heard a boy or girl say they liked something their boyfriend or girlfriend did just to get approval from them. You cannot define who you are to get approval from someone else. If you do that, you miss out on so much of the great potential God as deposited in your life. Guess what, no matter how hard you try to be liked by doing what other people like or saying what they say, some peole won't like you. This past weekend, I ran into a guy who has hated me for 10 years. No matter what I say or do, I can't change that.
When I went to law school, most of my family didn't believe that I would make it through. I am not saying that they didn't have a reason to believe that. Because based on my performance at college, they were expecting me to do the same thing and I would have failed. If I had listened to them, I would never have even tried to go to school, much less graduate has high in my class as I did. Am I saying that to brag? No. I am telling you this to say, don't let anyone else define you because their definition will be incomplete at best and completely wrong at worst. They will miss some of the great things inside of you.
Let me close by saying, dare to step outside of the shadows of what other people think. Dare to step outside of what society thinks. Step up and be what you want you to be. You will be much happier if you do.
And that's another Opinion of the Minion
While DD and I are working on the next part of Friendship vs. Dating, I wanted to take a few minutes to discuss who defines you? I was asked by a friend of the Minion, MW, to write about this subject. MW, thank you so much for your encouragement on FaceBook. I really appreciate it.
So lets talk about it. What is the definition of You? One definition is "used to indicate a specific individual." This is from The American Heritage Dictionary. That doesn't tell me anything about you so it's not very helpful. Since the dictionary can't help where do we turn? Should we turn to the people around us? How about our parents? How about the people we work with? Can they give us a good definition of who we are?
I think we look to the people around us a lot. And while they may know some things about us, I don't think they are the best place to look. This article was started based on "The Football Player Who Couldn't Play." In it, I talked about wanting to play football but being a terrible player. I thought that I would be in the right crowd if I was a player. Why did I think that? Because most of the popular kids in school were football players. I was letting the people around me define what I should be. In that case, it was a bad thing. What if people say that to be in the right crowd, I have to do drugs or have sex? Then I can only define myself as "good" if I am doing drugs and having sex. Does that sound crazy? It should because it is.
Now, lets move forward a few years. When are parents talk about being successful, many times they want us to be doctors or lawyers and it seems like that is a good standard for defining whether or not you are a "success." So maybe, we can look to the world's standard to define us or at least who we should be. So let me tell you something personal about me. I am a lawyer. At least I have a law license. I have passed the bar exam in Texas. So the good news is that based using worldly standards, I can define myself as a success right. Absolutely wrong. Being a lawyer, doctor, janitor, policeman, or a dentist doesn't define me or you.
So we have looked at the crowd we hang out around and "the worldly standard" to define us without finding a good place. Where should we look next?
As you can probably guess, this is where I was headed all along. Especially if you are a Christian, you should look at that book we carry to church on Sunday. I can tell you some things from that book about you.
1. You are loved. God has an intense burning love for you. He isn't sitting back trying how to knock you down, he is sitting back waiting for you to take him up on his promises. His love is more passionate for you than words can describe. Did you know his heart aches just to spend time with you and tell you much he loves and admires you?
2. You are headed to Heaven when you are done here. I have never been but the Bible describes it as a pretty cool place.
3. You can overcome every trial. The bible says that we overcome the world by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.
Well, you get the point. I could go on for pages defining you from the bible.
"OK Mr. Minion, that's fine," you say, "but how do I know who I am and what I am supposed to do here on earth? How do I know what I am supposed to like and not like, etc.?" Who defines that part of us? The answer is a little hard to swallow. It's not your parents, your family, your friends or anyone else. Who defines you? - The answer is You should define yourself and no one else. Why? Because no one can truly look inside your box and see all that is there besides you. Even if your family and friends have your best interest at heart, they cannot define you. The don't have the ability to do that. Who you are is something between you and God. Just like me playing football (or at least being on the team) you are the only one who knows what you really like.
I can't tell you how often I have heard a boy or girl say they liked something their boyfriend or girlfriend did just to get approval from them. You cannot define who you are to get approval from someone else. If you do that, you miss out on so much of the great potential God as deposited in your life. Guess what, no matter how hard you try to be liked by doing what other people like or saying what they say, some peole won't like you. This past weekend, I ran into a guy who has hated me for 10 years. No matter what I say or do, I can't change that.
When I went to law school, most of my family didn't believe that I would make it through. I am not saying that they didn't have a reason to believe that. Because based on my performance at college, they were expecting me to do the same thing and I would have failed. If I had listened to them, I would never have even tried to go to school, much less graduate has high in my class as I did. Am I saying that to brag? No. I am telling you this to say, don't let anyone else define you because their definition will be incomplete at best and completely wrong at worst. They will miss some of the great things inside of you.
Let me close by saying, dare to step outside of the shadows of what other people think. Dare to step outside of what society thinks. Step up and be what you want you to be. You will be much happier if you do.
And that's another Opinion of the Minion
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Friendship vs. Dating
Today, I am going to try something new. I want to discuss the topic of Friendship vs. Dating relationships. I don’t have a lot of dating experience but I think something is missing from the process. See, I want to have a relationship that stories are written about. I want to be in love with a woman so deeply that I hurt when she is away from me but I am glad she is doing things that fulfill her life. When I wake up in the morning, I want to be so in love that I stare at her as she sleeps and just wish for five more minutes to look at her. I want her, not just her body. I want what she thinks, how she makes me feel, and how she makes me a better person. I want to be around a woman who feels the same way about me. Is this possible, I believe it still is. I just think we have lost sight of how to get there.
I also want great friendships with people who know me really well. One day, I want to say I have known that person for 50 years. I want to be around people who enjoy life. How do I find those relationships and will I know when I do?
I also want great friendships with people who know me really well. One day, I want to say I have known that person for 50 years. I want to be around people who enjoy life. How do I find those relationships and will I know when I do?
To really be fair to both guys and gals, I want to bring in a good friend of mine, DD (DD is a woman), to help me discuss this topic and give you a woman’s perspective on our discussion. This will take more than one post so let’s get started.
To begin with let’s start with the question of just friends or something more? I asked DD her perspective and here’s what she had to say. In any relationship we have goals, while these goals are not written down on a piece of paper, they are there whether we realize it or not. For instance, when you meet a new friend, you might hope that they are someone you can confide in about boys or girls. You might hope they can be on your baseball team, or whatever. If you meet someone you want to date, one goal of a physical relationship at some point. It might not be on the first date or even by the tenth date but at some point, your goal/intention is to hold hands, kiss, cuddle, etc.
I struggled with this definition until I realized that there is an emotional connection that goes along with dating. I am not totally sure what the emotional connection is but I know it is there. Men, realize this, whether or not you want to believe it, you were created as an emotional being. We all know that men and women are different but what we don’t realize is that somewhere along the way men and women were trained to be more different than they actually are. Men, emotions signal needs. Whether or not you like this, it’s true. Think of it this way, if your stomach tells you that you are hungry, you can choose to ignore the signals from your stomach but it will not change the fact that you are in need of food. If you ignore the signals from your stomach long enough, you will starve to death.
It’s the same thing with your other emotions. Men, we have emotions. Over many generations, we have been trained to ignore them. We are supposed to be Mufasa, the Lion King. We are supposed to roar and protect the pride. But yet, we are not supposed to feel anything. That is why we don’t connect with girls like we really want.
Before we go further with this, I want to take a minute for DD to give you her initial thoughts on this subject. DD, welcome to the Opinion of the Minion.
DD says - I think there is an emotional development or connection in both types of relationships. Say you just made a new girlfriend and you confided in her about what guy you liked and the two of you plot, plan, and giggle about how to get the guy to notice you or ask you out. That is developing an emotional bond between you and your friend. You trust her to keep that confidential information to herself—not tell the entire school or worse, the guy. If she did tell someone, you might feel betrayed and hurt. An example for dating is if a guy kissed you for the first time, said he would call you then next day and didn’t. You would likely feel disappointment and hurt.
The Minion – When DD and I began to discuss this subject, her insights really taught me something. Obviously, she will explore this topic more with us as we go along. I want to keep this first segment a little short and because DD and I do not consider ourselves experts, we would like to hear from you about what you think the differences are between being friends and dating. You can address your comments to either of us. If you have a personal question you would like either of us to answer, please feel free to e-mail either:
Minion@theopinionoftheminion.com or
DD@theopinionoftheminion.com
And that’s an Opinion from two Minions
Minion@theopinionoftheminion.com or
DD@theopinionoftheminion.com
Sunday, July 17, 2011
About the Minion
A couple of days ago, I posted on FaceBook and asked for you to give me some suggestions for Opinions. Well, most of you asked personal questions about me, about what I like or don't like. So, I am going to take a few minutes and tell you a little about me. There are a few conditions though:
1. Since I am telling you about me, I want to know more about you. Sound off and give me your opinions on these things.
2. There are some things you asked about that are more serious topics so I will save those for separate Opinions.
3. As I am sure most of you know, I am just a normal guy and not associated with the movie. These are just the things at I like personally.
So without further delay, let's get to it.
1. MIG - Favorite Food? - I like all kinds of food now but my all time favorite is pepperoni pizza.
2. HBR - Drama - I will do another Opinion dealing with how to handle real life drama at some point. I am not big on drama in my personal life although I get plenty of it. In the movies, I am not a real big fan of dramas either. However, a friend of mine "made" me watch a movie called, "The Notebook." I have to say, that was one of the best movies I have ever watched. I am a sucker for romances and this was one of the best I have ever seen.
3. TD - Movies and Music - Well, TD, I like all kinds of movies. Mostly I prefer comedies or romantic comedies because I very much like to laugh and I am a sucker for a happy ending. I also like to see the girl and the guy end up together at the end. I don't like movies that don't have happy endings. Why? Because if I want an unhappy ending, I will watch the local news where there are plenty of not nice stories. Occasionally I like to watch science fiction if it is about outer space and I like action adventure movies. (After all, I am a guy.) Because I have kids, I watch a lot of Disney/Pixar movies (Believe it or not, I have not seen all of Despicable Me). I don't like horror movies at all. I was always afraid of them as a little kid and decided I didn't like those.
3a. TD - Music - I like many types of music. I like country music (I am a Texan) and I like Christian music. I enjoy listening to classical, pop, and some "old" rock. You know, the stuff from the 1980s. I am not a big fan of rap but I do have a couple of songs on my Ipod.
4. IA - Comedy - This is perhaps my all time favorite movie type of entertainment. When we laugh, something happens inside us that helps us feel better and I am all for anything like that.
5. DV - Please don't get mad but I haven't seen the Harry Potter movie so I really don't know anything about it. I love the author's story though. It's quite inspiring.
6. ED - Pie vs. Cake - Well let me say, I use to weigh 350 pounds so I like pie and cake both. I would have to say that my favorite is pecan pie. My grandmother makes the best homemade pecan pie I have ever eaten and I guess I have always been a little partial. For cake, lemon cake with thick lemon icing is my favorite.
7. SAT - Pepsi vs. Coke - Good question. Like I said earlier, I used to weigh 350 pounds so I only drink diet cokes (I know diet cokes are bad for you or at least that is what a good friend keeps telling me). That said, I always thought that diet Coke had a funny after taste so I would have to say diet Pepsi. I do like Coke Zero though.
8. BV - Apple vs Banana - I like apples (if you are old enough to get the Goodwill Hunting reference then its OK to laugh) but I prefer bananas. I especially like to take a banana and mix it with peanut butter and make a sandwich.
9. CO - friendships vs. family relationships - I think this is an excellent topic and I will talk about it separately.
10. LB - Briefs or boxers - This one is way too embarrassing for me to answer. I am glad you can't see how badly I am blushing.
11. AG - A butler vs. a nanny - I have never had either one so I guess I can't really decide. Do you have them and if so, what would you pick?
12. GR - Pineapples or peaches - Again, I like both but my favorite is probably peaches especially when they are used to make peach cobbler.
13. WN - Family Guy or Southpark - I really don't watch too much TV. As a matter of fact, the only shows I really followed over the last several years were Battlestar Galactica and Smallville. Now that those are off the air, I don't watch much. That said, I have never seen a full episode of either Family Guy or Southpark so I don't know.
14. DM - bathroom humor - OK I know that at my age I shouldn't laugh at this stuff and for the most part I really don't but occasionally something funny happens that makes me laugh. I can think of one story about something my daughter said regarding this topic that still makes me laugh. I really don't know why.
15. MH and CO - Pandora's box - Again MH and CO bring up an excellent point that I will try to address in another post.
17. CLUA - Ice Cream - I guess I gave this one away already. Yes, I love ice cream. My favorite flavor is butter pecan because that is what my granddad used to love. I like almost every flavor. When I was really big, I could eat a gallon of ice cream in two days.
AP - Cupcakes - Yes, I like cup cakes. My favorites have that thick icing. I think it's called butter cream icing. Whatever it is, yes it is very good.
Well everyone, I think I have addressed all of the questions you asked on FaceBook. If you want me to answer any more, please send them in and I will do my best.
Thank you all for giving me a chance to show you a little of what is in my box. This has been really fun and I enjoyed writing it. The funny thing is you made me stop and think about myself in a fun way. I don't think I have done that in years!
And that's several Opinions of the Minion
1. Since I am telling you about me, I want to know more about you. Sound off and give me your opinions on these things.
2. There are some things you asked about that are more serious topics so I will save those for separate Opinions.
3. As I am sure most of you know, I am just a normal guy and not associated with the movie. These are just the things at I like personally.
So without further delay, let's get to it.
1. MIG - Favorite Food? - I like all kinds of food now but my all time favorite is pepperoni pizza.
2. HBR - Drama - I will do another Opinion dealing with how to handle real life drama at some point. I am not big on drama in my personal life although I get plenty of it. In the movies, I am not a real big fan of dramas either. However, a friend of mine "made" me watch a movie called, "The Notebook." I have to say, that was one of the best movies I have ever watched. I am a sucker for romances and this was one of the best I have ever seen.
3. TD - Movies and Music - Well, TD, I like all kinds of movies. Mostly I prefer comedies or romantic comedies because I very much like to laugh and I am a sucker for a happy ending. I also like to see the girl and the guy end up together at the end. I don't like movies that don't have happy endings. Why? Because if I want an unhappy ending, I will watch the local news where there are plenty of not nice stories. Occasionally I like to watch science fiction if it is about outer space and I like action adventure movies. (After all, I am a guy.) Because I have kids, I watch a lot of Disney/Pixar movies (Believe it or not, I have not seen all of Despicable Me). I don't like horror movies at all. I was always afraid of them as a little kid and decided I didn't like those.
3a. TD - Music - I like many types of music. I like country music (I am a Texan) and I like Christian music. I enjoy listening to classical, pop, and some "old" rock. You know, the stuff from the 1980s. I am not a big fan of rap but I do have a couple of songs on my Ipod.
4. IA - Comedy - This is perhaps my all time favorite movie type of entertainment. When we laugh, something happens inside us that helps us feel better and I am all for anything like that.
5. DV - Please don't get mad but I haven't seen the Harry Potter movie so I really don't know anything about it. I love the author's story though. It's quite inspiring.
6. ED - Pie vs. Cake - Well let me say, I use to weigh 350 pounds so I like pie and cake both. I would have to say that my favorite is pecan pie. My grandmother makes the best homemade pecan pie I have ever eaten and I guess I have always been a little partial. For cake, lemon cake with thick lemon icing is my favorite.
7. SAT - Pepsi vs. Coke - Good question. Like I said earlier, I used to weigh 350 pounds so I only drink diet cokes (I know diet cokes are bad for you or at least that is what a good friend keeps telling me). That said, I always thought that diet Coke had a funny after taste so I would have to say diet Pepsi. I do like Coke Zero though.
8. BV - Apple vs Banana - I like apples (if you are old enough to get the Goodwill Hunting reference then its OK to laugh) but I prefer bananas. I especially like to take a banana and mix it with peanut butter and make a sandwich.
9. CO - friendships vs. family relationships - I think this is an excellent topic and I will talk about it separately.
10. LB - Briefs or boxers - This one is way too embarrassing for me to answer. I am glad you can't see how badly I am blushing.
11. AG - A butler vs. a nanny - I have never had either one so I guess I can't really decide. Do you have them and if so, what would you pick?
12. GR - Pineapples or peaches - Again, I like both but my favorite is probably peaches especially when they are used to make peach cobbler.
13. WN - Family Guy or Southpark - I really don't watch too much TV. As a matter of fact, the only shows I really followed over the last several years were Battlestar Galactica and Smallville. Now that those are off the air, I don't watch much. That said, I have never seen a full episode of either Family Guy or Southpark so I don't know.
14. DM - bathroom humor - OK I know that at my age I shouldn't laugh at this stuff and for the most part I really don't but occasionally something funny happens that makes me laugh. I can think of one story about something my daughter said regarding this topic that still makes me laugh. I really don't know why.
15. MH and CO - Pandora's box - Again MH and CO bring up an excellent point that I will try to address in another post.
17. CLUA - Ice Cream - I guess I gave this one away already. Yes, I love ice cream. My favorite flavor is butter pecan because that is what my granddad used to love. I like almost every flavor. When I was really big, I could eat a gallon of ice cream in two days.
AP - Cupcakes - Yes, I like cup cakes. My favorites have that thick icing. I think it's called butter cream icing. Whatever it is, yes it is very good.
Well everyone, I think I have addressed all of the questions you asked on FaceBook. If you want me to answer any more, please send them in and I will do my best.
Thank you all for giving me a chance to show you a little of what is in my box. This has been really fun and I enjoyed writing it. The funny thing is you made me stop and think about myself in a fun way. I don't think I have done that in years!
And that's several Opinions of the Minion
Thursday, July 14, 2011
A Minion's Musing
OK Guys, this time I have decided to try something new. This is something totally out of my comfort zone. I might never do this again but I want your thoughts. A couple of days ago, I read a poem by a Minion fan named KS. It was beautiful and I certainly can't do this as well as her but I am taking a swing.
The Flower
She bends her head low
The Flower
What is more beautiful than a flower
Her velvet petals and beautiful hues
She stands tall and causes all to look on her
With admiration and awe we watch her
A storm approaches her from the west
Great hail and lighting
With strong wind and rain
Assault her fragile petals and stem
She bends her head low
Under the weight of the rain
Touching the ground prostrate
Close to the point of death
But strength overcomes the rain
As she straightens herself in the sun
The weight of the water removed
She returns to give the earth her strength
Under danger of attack by human hand
She carries on her life
Refusing to stop showing her inner beauty
For the good of the earth and bees
Her beautiful petals unfold
Revealing her substance to the world
Waiting to be nourished
And give of her significance in return
That's the Minion's Musing. Please let me know what you think.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Actions Speak Louder than Words
I want to talk to you today about a subject that can be really confusing. What does it mean when someone says one thing and does something else? I have always been a firm believer that actions speak much louder than words. Have you ever been around someone who told you that they liked you and then did something mean to you? That person's actions certainly tell a different story than the words they gave you.
Maybe more importantly, have you ever let your actions speak louder than your words in a bad way or in a good way?
Let me illustrate what I mean by talking about my granddad. SR was one of the greatest men, I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I have never met a more caring man with a softer heart than him. My granddad didn't preach at you about what was right or wrong, he just lived in front of you everyday doing the right thing. He was always there when you needed him and never was critical of what you did. He was always ready to lend a helping hand.
I really didn't know this about him growing up but he read his bible a lot. He never ever preached at me with words but he was always preaching at me with actions. He was the kind of man who was there for you when you needed him. Have you ever been around someone who says, "Call me if you need me"? Yet when you actually call because you need them, they come up with some excuse why they can't help. They say they are there for you but their actions speak much louder than their words? Well I my granddad was the opposite. I don't ever remember him saying to call if I needed him but he always came when I did.
Granddad loved to play with us when we were growing up. One of my fondest memories was the time we built a wooden tool box for me. I couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 when we did and I still have it today. I wasn't supposed to paint it until he and I could do it together because he was going to show me how to do it right. But I got too impatient and did it on my own. I painted it candy apple red and put wooden signs on it. Looking back now, I realized that his actions were speaking much louder than words and his actions in my life had a much larger impact than anything I ever remember him telling me.
Many of you who are Minion fans on Facebook are young girls so I want to take a minute to talk to you about when actions and words aren't the same. Girls, if you don't have a boyfriend yet, you will soon enough (this applies to guys as well). Often, guys will tell you anything they want you to hear just to get something from you (I am going to keep this PG rated but I bet some of you can think of other stuff). The boys say nice things about you or show you attention and they aren't really concerned about you, they are concerned about getting whatever they want.
As you get a little older, people start throwing around the big L word. Let me tell you something, just because a guy or a girl tells you that they love you, doesn't mean that they do. If you are around a guy who constantly tries to control you, who isn't interested in the great things in your box, who only wants to have his needs taken care of but tells you all the time that he loves you. Guess what? HE DOESN'T. His actions are speaking much louder. One of the most basic needs that people have is to love and be loved. There is nothing wrong with this. There is everything right with it. It is the way God created us. But that word can be used to control and manipulate you to doing something you don't want to do because you want him or her to love you when they really don't. On that subject, if you want to know whether or not a guy or girl loves you, look at what they do much more than words. Love is giving, it doesn't think of itself first, it is kind, it genuinely cares about others.
Look around your life. When someone tries to steer you away from doing the things that you like to do, that isn't love. If he or she really loves you, they will want you to pursue the things that interest you and not simply pursue the things that interest them. When I say that love gives, let me be clear. Giving doesn't just mean stuff. Giving means having him or her give you their time. Girls, if he says he loves you but doesn't take an interest in what you do, question what his definition of love really is.
Remember this respect is something that should be given but trust is something at must be earned.
Also understand I am not talking about one specific time when some one's actions and words don't agree, I am talking about when their actions and words don't agree over a long period of time. Everyone makes mistakes occasionally and if some one does, forgive them. You would want them to forgive you if you made a mistake. But if their actions are constantly different than their words, you've got a problem.
Oh, and here is something I almost forgot - What story does your action tell? Are you the person who always says one thing and does another? Or are you the person who is always there for someone else? Be honest and if you need to make changes in you, then do it. In many ways, I wish I could be more like my granddad. I want to be more caring. I want to help more people. I want to be more sincere, honest, loyal and trustworthy. How about you?
And that's the Opinion of the Minion
Maybe more importantly, have you ever let your actions speak louder than your words in a bad way or in a good way?
Let me illustrate what I mean by talking about my granddad. SR was one of the greatest men, I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I have never met a more caring man with a softer heart than him. My granddad didn't preach at you about what was right or wrong, he just lived in front of you everyday doing the right thing. He was always there when you needed him and never was critical of what you did. He was always ready to lend a helping hand.
I really didn't know this about him growing up but he read his bible a lot. He never ever preached at me with words but he was always preaching at me with actions. He was the kind of man who was there for you when you needed him. Have you ever been around someone who says, "Call me if you need me"? Yet when you actually call because you need them, they come up with some excuse why they can't help. They say they are there for you but their actions speak much louder than their words? Well I my granddad was the opposite. I don't ever remember him saying to call if I needed him but he always came when I did.
Granddad loved to play with us when we were growing up. One of my fondest memories was the time we built a wooden tool box for me. I couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 when we did and I still have it today. I wasn't supposed to paint it until he and I could do it together because he was going to show me how to do it right. But I got too impatient and did it on my own. I painted it candy apple red and put wooden signs on it. Looking back now, I realized that his actions were speaking much louder than words and his actions in my life had a much larger impact than anything I ever remember him telling me.
Many of you who are Minion fans on Facebook are young girls so I want to take a minute to talk to you about when actions and words aren't the same. Girls, if you don't have a boyfriend yet, you will soon enough (this applies to guys as well). Often, guys will tell you anything they want you to hear just to get something from you (I am going to keep this PG rated but I bet some of you can think of other stuff). The boys say nice things about you or show you attention and they aren't really concerned about you, they are concerned about getting whatever they want.
As you get a little older, people start throwing around the big L word. Let me tell you something, just because a guy or a girl tells you that they love you, doesn't mean that they do. If you are around a guy who constantly tries to control you, who isn't interested in the great things in your box, who only wants to have his needs taken care of but tells you all the time that he loves you. Guess what? HE DOESN'T. His actions are speaking much louder. One of the most basic needs that people have is to love and be loved. There is nothing wrong with this. There is everything right with it. It is the way God created us. But that word can be used to control and manipulate you to doing something you don't want to do because you want him or her to love you when they really don't. On that subject, if you want to know whether or not a guy or girl loves you, look at what they do much more than words. Love is giving, it doesn't think of itself first, it is kind, it genuinely cares about others.
Look around your life. When someone tries to steer you away from doing the things that you like to do, that isn't love. If he or she really loves you, they will want you to pursue the things that interest you and not simply pursue the things that interest them. When I say that love gives, let me be clear. Giving doesn't just mean stuff. Giving means having him or her give you their time. Girls, if he says he loves you but doesn't take an interest in what you do, question what his definition of love really is.
Remember this respect is something that should be given but trust is something at must be earned.
Also understand I am not talking about one specific time when some one's actions and words don't agree, I am talking about when their actions and words don't agree over a long period of time. Everyone makes mistakes occasionally and if some one does, forgive them. You would want them to forgive you if you made a mistake. But if their actions are constantly different than their words, you've got a problem.
Oh, and here is something I almost forgot - What story does your action tell? Are you the person who always says one thing and does another? Or are you the person who is always there for someone else? Be honest and if you need to make changes in you, then do it. In many ways, I wish I could be more like my granddad. I want to be more caring. I want to help more people. I want to be more sincere, honest, loyal and trustworthy. How about you?
And that's the Opinion of the Minion
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Word Up
I want to take a few minutes to talk about words.
Have you ever heard the saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me"? That couldn't be farther from the truth - words can help or hurt a lot. Are you ever around someone who has nice things to say about you? Chances are if that person continually has good things to say about you, you will want to be around them. If someone is always saying negative things then you will want to stay away from them.
Also, take notice of something. Words have a cumulative effect. If I tell you something nice once and then tell you something not nice 100 times, the 100 times far outweighs the once. The opposite is also true, if I tell you good things regularly and then I have something not so good to say, you might be OK with what I say.
What we say to others is extremely important. I am involved with a couple of situations right now where I cannot physically be of much help. All of these situations are tough because I care about the people involved but I can't take charge of the situation. So let's go back to one of my favorite questions, "What can I do to help?" I wish I would ask that question more often.
As I was sitting thinking about one of these situations, I was watching re-runs of one of my favorite TV shows, "Lois and Clark." Shock and surprise, I like Superman. Well in this particular episode, Lois and Clark (Superman) were both trapped in separate cages that would blow up if Superman tried to save the day. At this point in the series Lois knows Clark is Superman and they are dating. Superman tells her with heart wrenching certainty that he wishes he could touch and hold her. Now while I don't necessarily put much faith in TV shows as far as how to live real life, what Lois said next was inspiring. She said that she knew how Superman could touch her - with his words.
Whether you believe it or not, that is absolutely the truth. We do touch people with our words. Let me give you a couple of examples of people who have touched me with their words. They may never know how deeply what they said meant but all these things helped build me up.
1. My daughter, K, told me one time that I should become a certain thing because she saw me practicing a skill that I really enjoy. I am not very good at it but it really made me feel good.
2. In my own life, I have been going through a particularly tough situation. I was talking just yesterday to a certain friend of mine, BT. Now most people I know say that I am not handling this situation right because they would do it differently. It's not that I am doing anything wrong. Most people think I am letting another person use me. In this case, I know I am doing the right thing and I just wanted someone to see that. Well, BT told that in all his years of being in the banking business that he had never even heard of anyone doing what I was doing. He told me that I was doing the right thing and that God would reward me for doing it. I already know that but it was so nice to hear that from someone. I certainly don't say any of this to brag about what I am doing. I want you to see that your words can really make a difference. When he told me that yesterday, it almost brought me to tears. I was so touched.
3. When I first posted "The Box", my friend LM and my cousin AB, both reposed the link on their wall with some really great things to say. It was very encouraging. They don't know this but both of them are huge drivers behind the Opinion of the Minion.
4. There is a particular fan of the Minion, KS, who said something to me that was just astonishing. She said that after reading the first two of my posts, she was hooked. She went on to say that I was a wonderful writer and that she looked forward to reading more of what I write. I don't think of myself as a writer at all. I have a good friend who is a writer but not me. I am just putting my thoughts on cyber paper. This person has a much nicer looking blog than the Opinion of the Minion and has great writing skills of her own. For her to say that to me, really blessed me.
5. I have another friend, J, who is always saying good things to me and that is one of the reasons I like hanging around with this person. J has said many nice things. One particularly felt good. J said I was polite and sincere. Those things mean a lot because this world is full of insincere people. I try to be a very sincere person and it was nice that J saw this inside my box. J also told me about a time when I was able to use words to help her. That felt good.
6. See, we don't really know when we say something good to someone what effect it will have. Just because you don't see any outward change doesn't mean something isn't changing on the inside. That same friend of mine, BT, told me a story that I certainly don't remember about how part of my personal testimony changed some one's life. See, I was telling them what I went through and being an encouragement to them and I never even knew about it until ten years later.
Now let me caution you on a couple of things.
First, never compliment someone by saying something you don't believe. If you do, it will come across as insincere and have the opposite effect of the one you want. Remember, if you don't believe it, you can't tell it. If you think someone is pretty tell them so. Just this morning I saw a lady in Starbucks that I know who is old enough to be my mom. I really liked the shirt she was wearing and I told her so. You should have seen the smile on her face.
If you don't thinks someone is nice don't lie and tell them you do. But what you had better do is take a few minutes and study them. If you do, you will find that there is something about them you can compliment that you really believe and they will appreciate it. Let me challenge you with this. Try to find one person a day and give them a compliment. Here is what will happen when you do - If it is sincere, they will appreciate it. Now here is the surprise part of it - You will feel great for doing it.
Second, and I see this one a lot, let someone compliment you. My friend J and I have this in common, sometimes we both struggle when someone gives us compliments. I used to shrug them off and down play them because I had a person in my life at one time who got jealous of them. I think I finally have J trained on the very profound speech you should give to someone who pays you a compliment. It's quite lengthy but it is very important so let me go into how to receive a compliment.
A. If someone is sincere, let it make you feel warm inside. That is what it is supposed to do. Stop for a split second and just enjoy the fact that someone recognized something great inside you. Don't try to downplay it. Just relax and let it bless you.
B. OK now here is the long part. How do you respond to someone who says something nice to you? You have to give them this little speech I prepared for the occasion. Are you ready?
You say - "Thank You." Really profound stuff huh. That's it. Don't make some excuse why you shouldn't be given the compliment. Just say thank you.
So let me leave you with a summary thought. We should all be looking out for ways to use our words to touch people's lives in a positive way. Many times you won't even know all the good you do. Then when someone touches you with their words, enjoy it and say thank you.
And that's the Opinion of the Minion
Have you ever heard the saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me"? That couldn't be farther from the truth - words can help or hurt a lot. Are you ever around someone who has nice things to say about you? Chances are if that person continually has good things to say about you, you will want to be around them. If someone is always saying negative things then you will want to stay away from them.
Also, take notice of something. Words have a cumulative effect. If I tell you something nice once and then tell you something not nice 100 times, the 100 times far outweighs the once. The opposite is also true, if I tell you good things regularly and then I have something not so good to say, you might be OK with what I say.
What we say to others is extremely important. I am involved with a couple of situations right now where I cannot physically be of much help. All of these situations are tough because I care about the people involved but I can't take charge of the situation. So let's go back to one of my favorite questions, "What can I do to help?" I wish I would ask that question more often.
As I was sitting thinking about one of these situations, I was watching re-runs of one of my favorite TV shows, "Lois and Clark." Shock and surprise, I like Superman. Well in this particular episode, Lois and Clark (Superman) were both trapped in separate cages that would blow up if Superman tried to save the day. At this point in the series Lois knows Clark is Superman and they are dating. Superman tells her with heart wrenching certainty that he wishes he could touch and hold her. Now while I don't necessarily put much faith in TV shows as far as how to live real life, what Lois said next was inspiring. She said that she knew how Superman could touch her - with his words.
Whether you believe it or not, that is absolutely the truth. We do touch people with our words. Let me give you a couple of examples of people who have touched me with their words. They may never know how deeply what they said meant but all these things helped build me up.
1. My daughter, K, told me one time that I should become a certain thing because she saw me practicing a skill that I really enjoy. I am not very good at it but it really made me feel good.
2. In my own life, I have been going through a particularly tough situation. I was talking just yesterday to a certain friend of mine, BT. Now most people I know say that I am not handling this situation right because they would do it differently. It's not that I am doing anything wrong. Most people think I am letting another person use me. In this case, I know I am doing the right thing and I just wanted someone to see that. Well, BT told that in all his years of being in the banking business that he had never even heard of anyone doing what I was doing. He told me that I was doing the right thing and that God would reward me for doing it. I already know that but it was so nice to hear that from someone. I certainly don't say any of this to brag about what I am doing. I want you to see that your words can really make a difference. When he told me that yesterday, it almost brought me to tears. I was so touched.
3. When I first posted "The Box", my friend LM and my cousin AB, both reposed the link on their wall with some really great things to say. It was very encouraging. They don't know this but both of them are huge drivers behind the Opinion of the Minion.
4. There is a particular fan of the Minion, KS, who said something to me that was just astonishing. She said that after reading the first two of my posts, she was hooked. She went on to say that I was a wonderful writer and that she looked forward to reading more of what I write. I don't think of myself as a writer at all. I have a good friend who is a writer but not me. I am just putting my thoughts on cyber paper. This person has a much nicer looking blog than the Opinion of the Minion and has great writing skills of her own. For her to say that to me, really blessed me.
5. I have another friend, J, who is always saying good things to me and that is one of the reasons I like hanging around with this person. J has said many nice things. One particularly felt good. J said I was polite and sincere. Those things mean a lot because this world is full of insincere people. I try to be a very sincere person and it was nice that J saw this inside my box. J also told me about a time when I was able to use words to help her. That felt good.
6. See, we don't really know when we say something good to someone what effect it will have. Just because you don't see any outward change doesn't mean something isn't changing on the inside. That same friend of mine, BT, told me a story that I certainly don't remember about how part of my personal testimony changed some one's life. See, I was telling them what I went through and being an encouragement to them and I never even knew about it until ten years later.
Now let me caution you on a couple of things.
First, never compliment someone by saying something you don't believe. If you do, it will come across as insincere and have the opposite effect of the one you want. Remember, if you don't believe it, you can't tell it. If you think someone is pretty tell them so. Just this morning I saw a lady in Starbucks that I know who is old enough to be my mom. I really liked the shirt she was wearing and I told her so. You should have seen the smile on her face.
If you don't thinks someone is nice don't lie and tell them you do. But what you had better do is take a few minutes and study them. If you do, you will find that there is something about them you can compliment that you really believe and they will appreciate it. Let me challenge you with this. Try to find one person a day and give them a compliment. Here is what will happen when you do - If it is sincere, they will appreciate it. Now here is the surprise part of it - You will feel great for doing it.
Second, and I see this one a lot, let someone compliment you. My friend J and I have this in common, sometimes we both struggle when someone gives us compliments. I used to shrug them off and down play them because I had a person in my life at one time who got jealous of them. I think I finally have J trained on the very profound speech you should give to someone who pays you a compliment. It's quite lengthy but it is very important so let me go into how to receive a compliment.
A. If someone is sincere, let it make you feel warm inside. That is what it is supposed to do. Stop for a split second and just enjoy the fact that someone recognized something great inside you. Don't try to downplay it. Just relax and let it bless you.
B. OK now here is the long part. How do you respond to someone who says something nice to you? You have to give them this little speech I prepared for the occasion. Are you ready?
You say - "Thank You." Really profound stuff huh. That's it. Don't make some excuse why you shouldn't be given the compliment. Just say thank you.
So let me leave you with a summary thought. We should all be looking out for ways to use our words to touch people's lives in a positive way. Many times you won't even know all the good you do. Then when someone touches you with their words, enjoy it and say thank you.
And that's the Opinion of the Minion
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
When The Minion Got A Boo Boo
Today I want to talk about when it hurts. This post applies to a friend again but unfortunately it applies to the Minion today.
The critics of the Minion (yes there are some who criticize me) say that I don't deal with bad things in the world and that all I deal with are the positives which makes me out of balance. Well, today I want to look at what to do when it hurts. See, right now I am hurting a little. I think this hurt will be a temporary one and everything should be OK shortly but it does present an good opportunity to talk about what to do when it hurts. There is a particular fan of the Minion who probably understands what I am talking about and I want to speak to you first.
Although I should be dealing with the negative, let me get positive for a minute (sorry critics, I can't help it - This is who I am). I want to say to this fan, you have more courage than anyone I know. I am very glad you are a fan of the Minion like I have told you before I will be here for you. Like I have also said before, bad times don't last, good people do. See, I have looked inside this particular fan's box and found some pretty remarkable stuff. This fan is a hard worker, wants to see the company the fan works for do well, shows compassion to friends, is kind, is good hearted, caring and here is the hardest thing for me to understand, even though this fan his hurting the fan doesn't want to strike back at the person who is causing the deep pain. This fan is truly remarkable. My discomfort doesn't change on thing about the way I think or feel about this fan.
OK, now that I have established that I am hurting a little. A line from a song comes to mind, "Sometimes I hurt and sometimes I cry. Sometimes I can't get it right no matter how hard I try." Have you ever felt that way? Well I do sometimes. The real question is what to do with the pain.
Several years ago, I just wandered around like a zombie. See I thought that because the emotion that I felt the most often was pain, then the best thing for me to do was wall off all my emotions. That way I would never hurt right. After all, I am a guy. That's what we do right. Well about two years ago, I realized that not allowing myself to feel any emotions was doing two very harmful things.
1. We all have emotions (yes guys you do have emotions whether you admit it our not) and emotions signal needs. I was ignoring the needs that my emotions were signaling. As a result, I was emotionally bankrupt. I had nothing else to give anyone. Have you ever felt this way? That is a horrible place to be. There are people in my life who need the things in my box and I didn't have the strength to open my own box, much less look in theirs.
2. Because I turned off all my emotions I was not able to feel any of the good ones. I couldn't feel love. I couldn't feel God's deep burning love for me. Because I didn't know what really caring about someone felt like, I couldn't be as caring for others as I should. Imagine what it was like to graduate in the top part of my class from law school and not really feel good about it. Imaging what it was like to not be able to enjoy a boat ride at sunset or a beautiful sunrise. I couldn't live in the moment. Because I didn't feel stuff, I didn't enjoy anything. I always thought the next thing on my agenda would bring me happiness but nothing ever did back then. Both of these are really bad things. I guess we can say that turning my emotions off won't work so what do I do with them?
Have you ever heard the phrase, hurting people hurt people? Well I could try that. I could call out some of the critics of the Minion and say bad things about them. But that won't help me either. So what am I going to do?
I am going to do what Jesus did. I am going to do my best to help someone and it starts with this blog. Back to the fan. I am going to start by saying more nice things because I know that fan is hurting and I believe what I am saying. This fan always has an encouraging word even though I know the fan is going through a little bit of hell on earth. This fan has a terrific memory. This fan has many qualities that I really admire. This fan is worth it and this fan deserves the best. This fan is great and shouldn't settle for anything less.
Also, I know of someone else who lost a pet recently. I don't know if this person has ever read the Minion and I doubt it, I want to say to them that I am extremely sorry for their loss. I know what a warm, caring pet owner you are and how you really love your pets. I think that is remarkable.
To another person who I know recently lost someone close to them, I am truly sorry for your loss. I know that it is extremely hard on you and I am praying that things will get better for you.
See, all these people are hurting. My first thought to all of them, even though I am experiencing some emotional discomfort right now, is I want to help.
Next, to the rest of the fans of the Minion, I want to say to you, that if you are hurting, be patient. Time does heal wounds. I can say that to you because I am working on patience right now in my own life and guess what, I really don't like it. I mean, couldn't we just have microwave patience. Why does this virtue of patience take so long to develop? :)
I want to leave you with this thought - What would the world look like if when we were hurt instead transferring our hurt to someone else, we tried to help someone? Well there I go getting positive again. I have blogged myself happy.
And that's the Opinion of His Minion
The critics of the Minion (yes there are some who criticize me) say that I don't deal with bad things in the world and that all I deal with are the positives which makes me out of balance. Well, today I want to look at what to do when it hurts. See, right now I am hurting a little. I think this hurt will be a temporary one and everything should be OK shortly but it does present an good opportunity to talk about what to do when it hurts. There is a particular fan of the Minion who probably understands what I am talking about and I want to speak to you first.
Although I should be dealing with the negative, let me get positive for a minute (sorry critics, I can't help it - This is who I am). I want to say to this fan, you have more courage than anyone I know. I am very glad you are a fan of the Minion like I have told you before I will be here for you. Like I have also said before, bad times don't last, good people do. See, I have looked inside this particular fan's box and found some pretty remarkable stuff. This fan is a hard worker, wants to see the company the fan works for do well, shows compassion to friends, is kind, is good hearted, caring and here is the hardest thing for me to understand, even though this fan his hurting the fan doesn't want to strike back at the person who is causing the deep pain. This fan is truly remarkable. My discomfort doesn't change on thing about the way I think or feel about this fan.
OK, now that I have established that I am hurting a little. A line from a song comes to mind, "Sometimes I hurt and sometimes I cry. Sometimes I can't get it right no matter how hard I try." Have you ever felt that way? Well I do sometimes. The real question is what to do with the pain.
Several years ago, I just wandered around like a zombie. See I thought that because the emotion that I felt the most often was pain, then the best thing for me to do was wall off all my emotions. That way I would never hurt right. After all, I am a guy. That's what we do right. Well about two years ago, I realized that not allowing myself to feel any emotions was doing two very harmful things.
1. We all have emotions (yes guys you do have emotions whether you admit it our not) and emotions signal needs. I was ignoring the needs that my emotions were signaling. As a result, I was emotionally bankrupt. I had nothing else to give anyone. Have you ever felt this way? That is a horrible place to be. There are people in my life who need the things in my box and I didn't have the strength to open my own box, much less look in theirs.
2. Because I turned off all my emotions I was not able to feel any of the good ones. I couldn't feel love. I couldn't feel God's deep burning love for me. Because I didn't know what really caring about someone felt like, I couldn't be as caring for others as I should. Imagine what it was like to graduate in the top part of my class from law school and not really feel good about it. Imaging what it was like to not be able to enjoy a boat ride at sunset or a beautiful sunrise. I couldn't live in the moment. Because I didn't feel stuff, I didn't enjoy anything. I always thought the next thing on my agenda would bring me happiness but nothing ever did back then. Both of these are really bad things. I guess we can say that turning my emotions off won't work so what do I do with them?
Have you ever heard the phrase, hurting people hurt people? Well I could try that. I could call out some of the critics of the Minion and say bad things about them. But that won't help me either. So what am I going to do?
I am going to do what Jesus did. I am going to do my best to help someone and it starts with this blog. Back to the fan. I am going to start by saying more nice things because I know that fan is hurting and I believe what I am saying. This fan always has an encouraging word even though I know the fan is going through a little bit of hell on earth. This fan has a terrific memory. This fan has many qualities that I really admire. This fan is worth it and this fan deserves the best. This fan is great and shouldn't settle for anything less.
Also, I know of someone else who lost a pet recently. I don't know if this person has ever read the Minion and I doubt it, I want to say to them that I am extremely sorry for their loss. I know what a warm, caring pet owner you are and how you really love your pets. I think that is remarkable.
To another person who I know recently lost someone close to them, I am truly sorry for your loss. I know that it is extremely hard on you and I am praying that things will get better for you.
See, all these people are hurting. My first thought to all of them, even though I am experiencing some emotional discomfort right now, is I want to help.
Next, to the rest of the fans of the Minion, I want to say to you, that if you are hurting, be patient. Time does heal wounds. I can say that to you because I am working on patience right now in my own life and guess what, I really don't like it. I mean, couldn't we just have microwave patience. Why does this virtue of patience take so long to develop? :)
I want to leave you with this thought - What would the world look like if when we were hurt instead transferring our hurt to someone else, we tried to help someone? Well there I go getting positive again. I have blogged myself happy.
And that's the Opinion of His Minion
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