News

 Hello everyone,

Today I want to talk to you about the news. I think we spend way too much time watching what is going on in the world today. Now don’t give me wrong, I do believe we should keep up with current events and know what’s happening. But I think it’s easy to get overwhelmed and caught up in Covid or what’s going on in this country or what’s bad that potentially could happen in that country, etc. And if we’re not careful we can spend hours watching.

I think we would be better off if we decided to be the news instead of watching the news. I heard a story onetime about a person who was going to commit suicide after school one day. I believe it was a girl and she had very low self-esteem. While she was at school, someone walked up to her and told her how nice she looked in the dress she was wearing. It changed her whole day, and she didn’t commit suicide. Wouldn’t it be great to be the person who paid her a compliment and changed her trajectory? What do you think the world would look like if we all found a way to encourage someone? I think that’s what it means to be Jesus ‘s hands and feet in the world.

We get the opportunity just to help someone else feel better about themselves. So today I want to encourage you to find someone to encourage and blessed with your words today.

If you don’t know Jesus and would like to have a personal relationship with Him, all you have to do is pray this simple prayer. Say, “Jesus, come into my life. I make you my Lord and Savior.” If you prayed that prayer, I believe you got born into the family of Christ. Congratulations! If you prayed, would you please let us know.

Also, if you are new to the family and would like to learn more about who you are and how God really sees you, please click the link below. We would love to send you study material absolutely free.

http://eepurl.com/gLci8D

That’s Another Opinion of the Minion

You Have Faith Whether You Like It or Not

 Hello everyone,

Today I wanna talk to you about Faith. Did you know that you live your life by faith? Everyone on earth is a faith person. The difference between us is where we put our faith.

Let me prove that to you. If you drive a car on the freeway, you have faith that the person beside you will not wreck into you. If you did not have faith in them, you would not drive beside them. When we drive beside someone, we don’t know anything about them. We don’t know where they are emotionally physically mentally or every other way. And yet we have faith that they won’t run into us.

When you sit down in a chair, you have faith that the chair will hold you up. When we food, we have faith that it will not hurt us. We don’t know what’s in the food and probably don’t want to know but we do not believe that it will hurt us.

If we already have faith, why not use our faith to trust God? If we can use our faith the same way we drive a car, send a chair, or eat food to trust God, then God can provide healing, financial peace, emotional peace, and salvation. And that is what I’m challenging us to do today.

If you don’t know Jesus and would like to have a personal relationship with Him, all you have to do is pray this simple prayer. Say, “Jesus, come into my life. I make you my Lord and Savior.” If you prayed that prayer, I believe you got born into the family of Christ. Congratulations! If you prayed, would you please let us know.

Also, if you are new to the family and would like to learn more about who you are and how God really sees you, please click the link below. We would love to send you study material absolutely free.

http://eepurl.com/gLci8D

That’s Another Opinion of the Minion

Is Religion a Crutch

 Hello everyone.

Today I want you to know that God loves you. His love is unconditional. There is nothing you can do to earn it and there is nothing you can do to cause Him to stop loving you. Some people may see God’s love as a crutch but it’s actually the most powerful force in the universe. I know this from personal experience.

I am married to a beautiful woman. We were both married to different people before we met. For years, I felt bad for divorcing my first wife because the Bible says that God hates divorce. What I have grown to understand is that His love for me didn’t change because I divorced my first wife. He still had and has a great plan for my life. Now don’t get me wrong, God does hate divorce, but He loves divorced people. His love for you doesn’t change based on what you do. Romans 8:38-39 says, “ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

In the first years of my current marriage, we had a very hard relationship with my wife’s ex-husband. He owed her a lot of child support and it seemed like we were always frustrated at each other over something. My wife and I would spend time talking about him and all the ways he frustrated us. One day, I was on a road trip to pick up my youngest daughter from camp. My wife called and said she had a crazy idea. She suggested that we give her ex-husband a car. This seemed like a ridiculous idea at first but it was so crazy and such an act of love that I decided we should do it! She forgave him all the debt he owed and we gave him a car. It changed our whole relationship. God’s love transcended debt and frustration and our family was completely transformed!

I want to challenge you today to engage God’s love. First of all, engage it in your own life and see how much He loves you. After that, release it into someone else’s life and watch what it does. It’s not a crutch, it’s the ultimate power source!

If you don’t know Jesus and would like to have a personal relationship with Him, all you have to do is pray this simple prayer. Say, “Jesus, come into my life. I make you my Lord and Savior.” If you prayed that prayer, I believe you got born into the family of Christ. Congratulations! If you prayed, would you please let us know.

Also, if you are new to the family and would like to learn more about who you are and how God really sees you, please click the link below. We would love to send you study material absolutely free.

http://eepurl.com/gLci8D

That’s Another Opinion of the Minion

For Men Only

Hello Everyone,

Today's post is really for men.  It's a challenge that I believe the Lord is putting on my heart to talk with men about.  Now I know it's not as popular to do today but when I was growing up a lot more people went to church.  Why?  Well that's just what we did.  Doing this and watching my dad and others grow up helped shape my vision of what a real man should be.  You know, we should be Mufasa (from the Lion King).  We should be king of the jungle and protect our families.

I have heard guys say things, "I would die for my wife and die for my kids."  "I let my wife do the praying and all the God stuff.  I'm the provider for our family." 

So here's what I find interesting about those ideas.  I know this has happened and I am not taking away from any man who has paid that sacrifice for his family or his wife.  I cannot begin to understand something like that.  But men, let me tell you saying that doesn't give you the right to do nothing else.  Instead of saying "I would die for my family", why don't you actually give up yourself for your family everyday.  They need you.  Part of the biggest problem our country faces today is that we men have forgotten how to be men! 

Husband, tonight instead of sitting home and watching ESPN while you relax, why don't you die to yourself and spend some time listening to your wife or your kids.  It's time we invest in them if we don't want our relationships to continue to suffer.  Your wife doesn't need you to die for her, she needs you to live for her.  She needs you to spend quality time with her.  She needs to know how much you care for her and she needs you to be present in her life.  Do you know what that's called?  It's called being intimate with her according to her definition of intimacy.  If we do that, it will lead to our definition of intimacy in a way that is beyond the normal.

If I asked you, how many of you have a good marriage, how many people would say yes?  I would be one of those people.  Guess what, I have decided that I am no longer satisfied with a good marriage.  I want to have a great marriage!  As a matter of fact, I want to have all the amazing things God has in store for marriage in mine!

So what do I need to do?  On top of some of the things that I have said above, it's my job to get on my knees before my Father as the head of my house.  Guys, it's not enough for us to just have our wife respect us and let her do the God thing.  God wants a relationship with YOU.  He's not looking to have a relationship with you through your wife.  He wants one direct.  How many times a week do you spend time with the Lord asking for direction for you, your family and your marriage?  I thought I was doing that fairly well, until recently the Lord told me that I need to spend more time with Him.

Well, "I don't know how to pray," you might say.  Let me tell you just how easy it is.  Just say "Hello Lord," and wait for Him to respond.  He longs to talk with you just like we long to be with our children.

Well, that's enough for one day and that's another Opinion of the Minion.

Love is Not Rude

Today's we are going to talk about another aspect of Love.  Today's topic is rudeness.  Before we get into this, I want to you notice that again, this is not a feeling.  Love is not concerned with whether or not you feel rude.  That doesn't even sound right.  Love doesn't act rudely.  This should be a fairly simple one as we all have been around people who are rude.

I can't tell you that I am around very many people who I would consider just openly rude.  I don't have any friends that would call someone something ugly to their face. And honestly, I wouldn't either.  But let's think about rudeness for just a minute.  Did you know that as we are studying love, no where in the Bible does it say that the person who we are rude to has to know about it to make it unloving.

Ladies, have you ever noticed some other girl who looked like maybe you wished you did and said something to your girlfriend about how she was dresses.  The reality is she's probably dressed fine but you are a little jealous because maybe you can't dress that way?  Guys, have you ever seen a guy driving a nicer car than you and said something rude about the guy just because you are jealous that you can't drive what he drives (I confess I have done this one.).  Well guess what?  That's rude.  Whether or not the other person heard you, doesn't matter.

Now I can hear someone saying, "Well if they didn't hear it, what does it hurt?"  That's easy.  It hurts your faith.  How?  Well, doesn't the Bible say that faith works by love? (Galatians 5:6)  If we aren't walking in love, it will hinder our faith.  Before I go farther, I don't want anyone to stand in condemnation and you need to know that God is a graceful, merciful God.  I know this because there are several places where I have acted unlovingly and God is blessing us tremendously.

But here's the thing - I don't want ordinary faith.  I was in a Starbuck's several months ago and there was a girl in a wheelchair.  I wanted to pray for her and see her healed and out of that chair.  When I thought about it, I heard the Lord say, "If you pray for it, I will back it."  I know it was the Lord's voice!  Guess what I did!  Nothing!  I left that girl in that wheelchair and left the store without speaking to her.  Why?  My faith wasn't strong enough.  I want my faith to be stronger and stronger every day.  I've had a vision for a long time of us walking into hospitals and emptying them because God healed every person in them.

That type of dream doesn't come to reality with weak faith.  That's why I am working to get rude behavior out of my life.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

Love is Patient

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to start talking about what love is.  Our topic for today is patience.  Have you ever had an experience were you were not patient with someone?  I know I sure have.  If you have children, especially teenagers, it's easy to lose your patience with them.  On our streets today, you can see how impatient people are with one another.  Well, when we are acting impatiently with each other, we aren't walking in love.  That doesn't mean we don't love, it means in that particular instance, we aren't walking in love the way we should.  Also, there are opportunities for you to be patient whether you pray for them or not.

I have heard in Christian circles for years that you shouldn't pray for patience because God will cause something to come in your life that requires it.  But here's the problem.  God is not saying that if you are patient, then you are walking in love.  What He's saying is when His love is developed in you then you will be patience.  So what you need to pray for is that His love will so grow inside you that you will be a patient person.  You aren't doing work to prove love.  Love is working which causes results.

So what is patience?  One definition is - the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.  What does that mean?  Well for me personally, it mean's loving my children and being patient while I am waiting on things to develop in their lives.  One of the most interesting characteristics is waiting without getting angry or upset.  Let me say to my children, I apologize for the times that I am waiting on you to develop but being upset at the same time.

Now I want to say a thank you to my wife.  She has shown me love by being patient with me.  Overall, I'm a good dad and a good husband but there are a couple of things that I need to get straight.  My wife has known about them since we met and she's loved me and been patient with me for a long time.  Thank you Honey.  I love you.

So what does all this mean?  Start believing God to change you and out of His love, ask for him to grow the attribute of patience.  Then find an opportunity today to be patient.  Maybe you need to be patient while other people are ahead of you in line.  Maybe you need to be patient with someone while you are driving.  Maybe you need to be patient with one of your friends or your parents while they figure things out.  Regardless of what it is, find a place today to show someone else love by being patient.

I'm Getting a Divorce ... But NOT from My Wife

Hello Everyone,

It's been a long time since I have posted anything but as I have said before, a couple of times, I am going to start writing more.

Today's topic is Divorce.  Let me say that I am totally for it but not like you think.

This came up inside me because of an individual in my life.  This particular person (It's not one of my family or friends) continues to be a constant source of wrong thinking, upset and worry.  You know the type.  The person who is constantly saying something or doing something just to be mean and upset you.  The person that you constantly catch yourself thinking about what you want to say to them and how you want to give them a piece of your mind.  You go through the day and play different conversations out in your head.  They said this and then you would say something back that would really put them in their place.

But the truth is that 99% of the time these conversations never happen.  When you actually talk with someone it never goes the way you thought it out.  The net effect of the whole situation is that you didn't say all the things you wanted and you let that person dominate your thought life for some part of the day.  Maybe you worried about what they would say or do and how it would effect you or someone else.  Maybe you got really angry and dreamed about getting them back.  So when WE spend all that time going through those thoughts and replaying what that person said or did over and over again we miss things.  See I could have all that time thinking about my God or my kids or my wife.  I could have spent that time planning what I was going to do to bless them or bless someone else and then doing it.  But I chose to spend the time day dreaming in a negative way about that person!  So to those thoughts, consider this your official notice - I'm getting a divorce!!

Now let me tell you about a few things about divorce.  My ex-wife and I owned a house and I paid every payment on that house.  But here's the thing - as soon as the judge signed the divorce decree that was no longer my house.  I was no longer allowed in that house without my ex-wife's permission.  That's exactly what happens with our thought life.  You can choose what thoughts you let in your house and which ones have to stay out side.  They may ring the doorbell and ask to come in but you can tell them no.

So to that person who is causing us so much trouble, let me say that we have irreconcilable difference so it's over.  You are no longer allowed in my thought life.  I expect you to say ugly things and I expect you to be selfish and manipulative but I am no longer allowing you in my home!

Here are a few other things that have been served their divorce papers.

Politics - We are through.  I'm divorcing you from my thought life.  I will vote as the Lord leads me but I will not take you to dinner anymore and I will certainly not invite you back to my place.  I know that their are family and friends who would like us to stay together but we simply don't belong together.  Note:  If you like to talk about politics, what are you actually doing?  Remember, discussing a problem without implementing a solution is just complaining.

Judgmental attitudes - It's over between us.  I know we have only been together for a short time but you have been a complete negative in my life.  But I don't want you to meet my family and I don't see us growing old together.  Have you ever spent time judging people?  You know - She shouldn't wear that dress or he shouldn't drive that car.  I actually caught myself judging someone the other day while I was driving down the road!!  I don't know one thing about the person!

Other detrimental areas - I've seen you with other people so you aren't even true to me.  When we are together, you are abusive and cause me to lose my peace.  You don't want me to go to church; you don't want me to tithe; you don't want me to love my wife.  As a matter of fact, you are jealous of anything that I think about other than you.  You are so narcissistic.  It's over between us.  Pack your stuff and get out of my life.

Now friends if this stirs something in you and makes you want to divorce some of those stinking thinking areas in your own life then let me say this.  You must be vigilant.  Those areas can be stalkers and they can try to track you down to get back with you but don't let them.  Stay Vigilant!!!  If you know me and you see me making a V sign with my fingers it's for vigilance.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

To Your Parents

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to talk to all of you that are parents.  If you are a young person, ask your parents to read this.

Let me start by saying that I am a parent/stepparent to five very wonderful and very different children.  Our children are ages 15, 14, 13, 12 and 10 so we are just hitting the teenage years.  We are hitting the age where they become more and more independent.  But let me tell you this parents, we are also hitting the time of their lives where they begin to dream their own dreams and want to go their own paths.

For many parents this is a hard time.  See we think we have the plan for their lives.  We see them going to college and getting a good job out of school then preparing for a family and in many cases following the same track that we went down.  After all, if it was good enough for us, it's good enough for them right?  Wrong.  They have their own dreams and their own desires.

This past weekend, my wife and I had the opportunity to watch our oldest daughter perform in a theater camp in our town.  It was a wonderful experience for her and she truly enjoyed it.  In the second act, I was hit by part of the performance.  The musical is about kids going through school and it's "target audience" is teachers as they are in the classroom and their impact on the kids they teach.  At one point, four different young men and women describe a boy who writes a poem.  The first poem is named Skip after his dog because that's what it's about.  His teacher gives him an A and a gold star and his mom pins it to the wall.  His dad tucks him into bed and he's enjoying life.

The second poem is called Autumn because that's what it's about.  His teacher gave him an A and his mom told him not to pin it to the wall because the wall had just been painted.  That year he noticed that things weren't as rosy around him.  Then he tried another poem called Question (I think) because that what it was about.  His mom didn't say anything about it and his dad got mad at him when he tried to tuck him into bed.  He wrote his last poem on a matchbook and completely checked out of life.  His parents never knew he was unhappy.

The skit is followed by a song called, "I've Come Home."  It's about children coming home and the place of safety, love and warmth they find at home with their family.  This made me start to think about my own children and I began to wonder if my desire to see grow into the adults that I want them to was clouding my ability to see their dreams and desires.  What part of where they thought they wanted to go was I missing.  Since they are teenagers, their dreams are probably going to change several times over the next few years but that doesn't matter.  I started asking myself what was I doing to encourage them to stretch out and work for their dreams.  What was I doing to help them work hard to achieve the things that God put in their life, not the things that I was trying to put in their lives.  Now I am not saying that grades and their upbringing isn't important and as a parent it's definitely are job to make sure our kids work hard and do their best.  It is our job to help them grow into strong men and women.

Let me close with this.  What if Billy Graham's mom had forced him to be a dentist?  What if Albert Einstein's mom had forced him to be a lawyer?  What if Mother Theresa's mom had forced her to be an actress?  It would be like trying to put a size 8 foot in a size 6 shoe.  It just wouldn't fit.  So let me ask you this parents, what are you doing to help your children realize their dreams?

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

The Lens

Today I want to talk about The Lens.  What is The Lens?  Good question.  I'm glad you asked.  Before I talk about The Lens, let's talk about lenses in general for a minute.  When I think of lenses, I think of glasses.  Have you ever put on prescription glasses that weren't yours?  Everything looks very distorted doesn't it?  I used to wear glasses but I had lasik surgery several years ago and don't need them now.  I didn't wear them at all until I was an adult.

I will never forget this.  It was my first year of law school and I had to drive to Dallas and back to Fort Worth everyday because the classes were in Dallas.  Now on the way home, everything was always a little fuzzy at night.  The lights weren't clear and I always had trouble seeing the street signs on the freeway.  Then one day, I went to see an eye doctor and I was prescribed glasses.  I got my first pair of glasses from a Wal-Mart off of Rufe Snow Drive in Fort Worth and I will never forget the day.  I put the glasses on and walked outside.  I was completely amazed at all that I could see.  It was as if scales had fallen off my eyes and it was amazing.  If you have ever had glasses, you completely understand.

So what is The Lens?  The Lens is what we see life through.  It's what we look through when we see other people.  It's also what we look through when we look in the mirror.  The Lens effects everything.  The thing I want to focus on for a minute is how the lens effects the way we see other people.

Have you ever seen someone you thought was strange or weird?  What makes them weird?  It's the way they look when you compare them to yourself or other people.  See I believe that we are all a little weird in our own ways.  But what if you are looking at that person through the wrong lens and instead of being weird they are actually just unique.  I think sometimes if we would take off our glasses that filter what is cool and what isn't we will find some very amazing individuals.  I think we should all look at other people through a certain lens though - the lens of love.

Now I am not talking about the mushy gushy feeling you get when you are around your boyfriend or girlfriend, what I mean is that we should love everyone.  God does.  Does that shock you?  God loves sinners.  Now I can already hear you screaming that he doesn't but it's true.  God only hates the sin but he loves everyone.  That means he can feel when others hurt even if they aren't living exactly the way he wants them to.  I say if it's good enough for God, it's good enough for us.  So let me ask you who are you looking at and seeing the wrong thing?  As you walk through tomorrow in this Christmas season, would you look at everyone you are near through a lens of love?  That's a tough thing to do but well worth it.

And that's another Opinion of the Minion

Consistence

OK today I want to talk about consistence.  That's a good word even though it can be a hard one.  I heard a preacher named Gloria Copeland say that God told her that in consistency lies the power.  I think this is such a true statement.

As many of you may know I went to law school and have my license so I am a lawyer in Texas even though I don't practice law very much.  Now when I went to law school, I was determined to give it my best shot and whether or not I failed, I was going to try hard and I was very successful.   Right after I realized I was going to do fine in law school, my goal changed to becoming a lawyer.  I wanted to try cases like Perry Mason (He was a lawyer on an old TV show and I think he won ever case except for a couple.).  I was determined that I was going to be the best trial lawyer ever.  Guess what.  After my first year of law school I was so high in my class I got asked to be on the law review which is a pretty prestigious deal.  I was doing great.  Now after that first year, what if I walked up to you and said, I'm through year one of school and I'm not a lawyer yet so I quit!!

You would have probably looked at me and said something like - Well you can't be a lawyer yet.  You haven't made it through the next two years of school and you have to take (and pass) the bar exam.  It's ridiculous for you to think you should be a lawyer yet.  Just hang in there and do what it takes to get to your goal.  You have to consistently chase it for a few more years before it gets there.  If I then said - That's it I don't care if I'm not supposed to be one yet, I quit anyway.  You would probably think something was wrong with me.  And you would be right.

But I have done this many times and I have seen other people do this more times than I can count.  No, I'm not talking about quitting law school but I have seen so many other people quit on their dreams before they ever had a chance to materialize.  The reason they quit was because they expected to reach their goal without doing what was necessary to get there.

Let me use another example that will bring this closer to home.  As many of you know, I used to weigh 350 pounds.  What if I tried to diet for two weeks and got frustrated because I hadn't lost all the weight I thought I should and I quit?  Let me see a show of hands from anyone who has ever tried to lose weight and quit your diet when you didn't see immediate results.  OK put your hand down, I can't count all the hands!  I did it myself more than once.  See for me to lose the weight I had to consistently eat the right things and exercise over 14 months to get where I wanted to be.

But that's not the only place it can effect you.  How many of you were believing to get out of debt and haven't?  Well don't quit.  If you will consistently spend less money than you make, you will come out of debt.  How many of you have pursued a dream to be a writer or an engineer or a singer or something else?  Well don't quit!!!  If you will keep pursuing your dream, you can achieve it.

I want to leave you with one thought that is a little harder than the ones above.  How many of you started believing God for something and you haven't seen it yet?  Maybe you are believing for a loved one to be saved or someone to be healed.  Maybe you are believing God to heal your marriage or something else.  Maybe the situation looks pretty bad right now and you don't see how God is going to fix your problem.  Maybe you wonder if He even wants to do it.  Well let me tell you that God does want to fix your problems but He needs you to have faith and the right actions to go with it.  He needs you to be consistent with doing them and He will see you through!!

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Old Friends

Today I want to discuss a subject that I have come to appreciate more in the last week.  I want to talk about friendship.  Before I get to my Opinion for this blog, I need to back up a little.

Not that long ago, a good friend of mine, A, went home to be with the Lord after a long fight with cancer.  Now A and I stayed in touch over the years but we didn't stay as close as we were growing up.  I met A when I was in the 7th grade and we are both 41 (A is very much alive, he just went to a place called Heaven).  I still have fond memories of playing football.  A played center and if I remember correctly, he was a starter on the 1st team (or A team) when we were in middle school.  We are a lot alike.  I can still see him wearing his 3/4 top Nike Monster cleats when we played ball.  Later we called him "Hair" because when we were in high school he had long hair.

I also have very fond memories of us playing hide and go seek when we were in middle school with a whole group of kids from our neighborhood.  When we played, our boundaries were several blocks in every direction and we had a lot of fun.  Now A wasn't the only kid I hung out with.  There was B.  He was the high school baseball stud pitcher when we were in school and interestingly enough, he was also very smart.  For a while B and I were best friends and we were inseparable.

There were other kids in the neighborhood too - B and his little brother A, B and his little brother C and  several others.  For the sake of time I will stop right there except to say that B and I went to see my friend A the other day.  It was a very hard time for both of us.

Now let me fast forward to watching my own kids.  Over the last week, I had the opportunity to watch my kids pretty closely and one thing I noticed was that a couple of them were not very well adjusted to playing with other kids.  Why?  Well, one answer is that they don't have very many kids around them to play with.  That small fact - having kids around to play with - was something I realized was a true blessing in my life and also something that I see missing in my kids lives.  I learned a lot last week.  I can't say it was an easy week but it was certainly rewarding.

So let me leave you with the two things I learned from this past week.  First of all, kids need to be around other kids.  So parents please find ways to help your kids socialize.  Second of all, grew to really appreciate all the great kids I grew up with.  A, you will be missed.  I love you and even though we didn't stay as close as either of us would like, I miss you.  Let me leave you with this - Appreciate your friends.  They are truly a gift from God.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Fatherhood

OK, I probably should have posted this on Sunday in honor of Father's Day but life is busy and here it is Tuesday.  Today I want to talk about what being a father is about to me.  I think that the whole concept of fatherhood has lost itself somewhere in our society.  Realizing that the number of single parent moms is substantial, there are many kids who grow up without a strong father.

So what does a good father look like?  Well to start with, he needs to take responsibility for his life and his actions.  If you got her pregnant, it's your responsibility take care of the child.  It's your responsibility to train that child in the way he should live so that he will grow up to be a strong citizen and a good person.  Now most of you might think that my last couple of sentences are pointed at guys who get a girl pregnant and then don't marry her or provide for the child.  They certainly apply to that group but I am also talking about married couples and divorced couples as well.  It really doesn't make any difference how that precious child got her, just take responsibility for it and teach it.

Which leads me to my next point.  What should I teach my children?  In my life right now, I have three wonderful children plus two other children who I am around a lot.  So what am I teaching them?  Well yesterday my oldest son mowed the lawn and I paid him to do it.  Then I taught him about tithing.  Regularly we talk about God and how important he is to our life.  Did you know that Abraham was the father of Israel plus many other countries in the middle east?  Do you know why?  Because God knew that Abraham would teach his children about Him.  That's part of our job as dads.  Also dads, we need to know this.  Actions speak much louder than words.  If we tell our children one thing and then act in a different way, they are going to know that we don't believe our own words and they probably wont believe them either.

So after I teach them, what are some other things I should do?  I need to spend on them.  Now most of you might jump to spend money and I certainly tried to lead you that way.  Dad if you had that child, it is your responsibility to help provide for that baby.  Don't tell me that you are a "man" because you are tough, or successful or good looking etc., and yet you don't provide for your own children.  If you aren't trying to provide for them, I'm not sure you are a "man."  But where I want you to really go with this to spend your time on them.  That's normally the thing they want most.  The woman I am dating recently told me she thought I was good with teenagers.  I don't know if that's true or not but if it is true, its because I just talk to them like they are real people.  I don't treat them any different than any other person I would talk to.  I ask them questions about their lives or what's important and then I try really hard to listen to what they say.  Pretty simple stuff huh.

I think one of the most important things you can do to be a good dad is be the spiritual leader of your house.  Let your kids see you pray.  Don't leave all the praying to their mom or to the ladies in your life.  Real strength starts on your knees.  I heard someone say, "Show me a bible that is worn out and I will show you a Christian that isn't."  Let your kids see you spend time in the word of God.  It will help them as they get older.

Let me end this by taking a little different spin.  In many church's today, I hear all kinds of really nice comments about mothers on Mother's day and they are all true.  I am thankful for strong moms.  But then I hear remarks about who really wears the pants in the family or other somewhat derogatory remarks about the dads.  Ladies if you are making those "jokes" regularly, don't be surprised if he lives down to your expectations.  Encourage your man to be a real man and to be a real father.  You will be glad you did.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Do Nice Guys Finish Last? (Part 1)

Today I want to talk about something I have heard more than once.  Have you ever heard the saying, "Nice guys finish last"?  Well I have and for a long time I sort of thought it was true.  But I have to tell you that at age 40, that's not true at all.

Before we get to the nice guy part, which I may have to address in the next blog, we need to distinguish between being nice and being a door mat for other people.  See for many years I considered myself a nice guy and I really am one.  Before everyone gets all wound up, I don't say that with conceit in my heart.  If you asked my mom or any of my friends they would probably tell you the same thing.  If you asked God I know he would tell you that.

So as a nice guy, here is the mistake that I made.  I have always wanted to be considered one of the good guys.  Several months ago I started dating an amazing woman and I have met several of her friends and family.  They all seem to have a very high opinion of me and that really blesses me.  It doesn't bless me because I want everyone to think highly of me, although I do.  It blesses me because it says that there is evidence of me becoming the person I have always wanted and that other people can see the evidence.  That is truly a blessing.

However, for many years I thought that I was only a nice guy if everyone else around me said so.  In other words if I did something that was unpleasant to someone else and they didn't like me, it meant that I was not a nice guy.  Let me give you an extreme example.  This example is made up and I would not have felt bad about it but hopefully you will see my point.  If a guy was robbing a gas station, I might not have called the police because I was afraid the guy holding up the gas station would not like me.  If he didn't like me then I must not be a nice guy because my definition of being a nice guy centered around everyone else liking me.  That sounds pretty silly right!  Of course it is!  But how about me letting people use me occasionally and take advantage of my generosity because I didn't want them to get mad at me?  That happened a few times.  Now if you are my friend and/or family, I am not pointing fingers at anyone and I am not thinking of anyone specifically so please don't feel like this is pointed at you.

I can even give you bible reference for some of my problem.  Jesus said if a man asks you to go a mile, go two.  Now we all know that Jesus is love so he must be a nice guy.  If Jesus said to do it, then I should do it.  After all, I am trying to imitate Jesus.  Or how about the time Jesus said, blessed are the peace makers. Jesus also said that strife was bad.  So my philosophy was to keep the peace, avoid strife and give more to people than what they asked.  Sounds good right?  Well, I got very out of balance in this area and it took me several years to understand this.

So what is the difference between the two situations I discussed.  When I talked about people who think I am a nice guy, I know that I am one.  Wether or not someone else notices doesn't change that fact.  In the other case, I used what others thought to define me.

So what am I trying to say?  Before I get to whether or not nice guys finish last, we have to define "nice guy."  A nice guy is someone who is helpful to others, respectful, caring, understanding, etc.  Now I may not be all of those things yet but I am striving to be.  Just because everyone doesn't like me or I do something that makes someone else unhappy, doesn't make me any less of a nice guy.  I guess this all gets back to defining yourself by who you are and what the bible says you are, not what other people think of you.  Next time I will talk about whether or not nice guys finish last.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

My Way Is the Best

Today let's talk about the best way to do something.  What is the best way to do anything?  Why it's my way of course.  Don't we all feel that way sometimes?  My mom's side of the family is a great family and I love them dearly.  We are a really funny group.  As a matter of fact, the last time I was in Tennessee with several of us at my aunt and uncle's house, we laughed so hard and so long that my jaws were sore the next day.  It was a lot of fun.  One of the funniest times for me with my family is when someone is going from point A to point B.  For some reason, this always sparks a debate.

The issue is how to get from point A to B and everyone in the whole family has a different idea of the best way to get there.  Some prefer to avoid stop lights, some prefer to avoid the freeway and some simply know the best back way.  But one thing is certain, we all know the best way and most of the time we think our way is better than everyone else.  Now this is all in good fun and no one ever gets mad but it does illustrate a good point.  My way is always the best way to me.  Of all those different routes, one might be better than the others and guess what, mine might be the worst suggestion of the whole group.  So what should the person who is going from point A to B do with all these suggestions?  Take the best one - even if that person's isn't the best.

Obviously this type of thing isn't a big deal.  If I chose to take my directions instead of my cousin's or brother's or some one's the worst thing that will probably happen is it will take me a little longer to get where I am going.  But let's take this same philosophy and apply it to something more serious.  How about being a good parent?  As I have stated many times, my parent's are both good parent's and good people.  But one of the things I wanted most for my children was to raise them according to God's way.  My dad has only started attending church regularly in the last several years and growing up, God's word was not as central to our lives as it should have been.  Mom and Dad, I love you both and I am not throwing rocks at your parenting.

My oldest child is twelve years old and my youngest is almost eight.  I have always thought that I was a good day.  After all, I took them to church, provided a nice house and good clothes.  I even play with them although I should do that more.  So I thought I was doing the right thing as a father.  Have I made mistakes along the way?  Sure.  I am not married to their mom anymore and it took both of us to ruin a marriage.

However, last summer I went to see a movie called "Courageous" and it made me realize that I needed to make sure I was being the best dad I could so I bought several Christian books on the subject.  Here is one thing that I noticed I wasn't doing as well as I should.  One of the things that attracted God to Abraham was that Abraham would teach his children the ways of God.  I thought about it and decided that I needed to do more of that.  I needed to help my children understand God's ways so that they would be farther along in their walk with the Lord than I was at their age.  I also realized that my way of raising them needed help.

Let me give you a couple of other examples that I learned about my parenting skills.  I hate to call this person my girlfriend because at 40 years old that sounds strange but I don't know any better words.  Her name begins with D.  Now D is a really good mom.  I have watched her around her kids and realized that there were several things I needed to change about the way I was raising mine.  First of all I pretty much let my kids eat whatever they want.  Neither their mom nor I have ever consistently forced them to eat healthy and that is wrong on both of our parts.  I think we both gave in to them because we didn't want to hear all the complaining that the kids did when they didn't get their way so we let them have it.  That was not the best way to do things.  When people approached me to tell me they were concerned, I always rationalized the situation away.  But after listening to and watching D, it made me realize that I needed to change my ways of parenting.

On another front, I always let my kids drink whatever they wanted.  That wasn't good either.  Sometimes I would rationalize things again by saying I was too tired to deal with all the complaining.  But again, I listened to D and she helped me realize that my way wasn't the best way.  D, let me publicly say thank you for all you have taught me.  I needed every bit of it.

Let me close by saying this.  While the mistakes I pointed out in my own life may seem obvious to you, there are probably areas of your life that I can do the same thing in return.  See, we all have areas of our lives where we think our ways are the best and they aren't.  Be open to learning a new way and becoming a better you!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Friends vs. Family Part 3

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Let me say thank you to my sister-in-law, CO for her contribution to the Minion.  Here is the last part of her opinion on Friends vs. Family.

CO-
Now I will set the blood tie aside to discuss families that we have through marriage. (The In-laws) Just because we have married into a family does not mean this new family will love or accept us, but it is a blessing when we can become a part of a family in that way. When we marry we then start to build on the relationships we have with our new in-laws. Many people start this process before marriage but not all of us have had that premarital advantage to do so. (I recommend getting to know the family before marrying into it.) I tell my children all the time that apples tend not to fall far from the tree so if they do not like their potential in laws, they might want to study and get to know their potential spouse a little better before making a decision on marriage. If the family is too difficult to deal with because of any number of issues, then it would be beneficial to have those issues worked out with your spouse and his/or her family before they marry. I hope my children do not make that mistake when they marry. I believe some of my issues with the family would not exist now if we would have had the time to get comfortable with each other first.

The irony of my viewpoint is that friendships that become so close to us that we claim them as family are purely accepted and loved. However, family that we were born into and married into do not receive the same acceptance as a good friend. Families bring to many demands and idealisms to the table that get in the way of our being accepted or loved and that makes a family relationship less successful. This does not mean that we love our families any less, but it does cause a lot of strife and it does make the family much harder to enjoy.

My conclusion, based on my own life experiences is that friendships tend to be more successful than family relationships because friends are enjoyable, less judgmental, of like mind, and the feeling is mutual between the two people. Families can be highly successful and similar to friendships. However, a family member would have to approach the relationship the same way that they approach a friendship, having respect for the individual and an equalization of the relationship rather than a warped hierarchy of status and titles.  We as parents have to learn to let go when it is time to do so, and become a friend and just love our families. This does not mean that we can't offer advice or let them know that they may be making a mistake, but we have to leave the judgments and the unachievable expectations behind. To be clear I am not including the relationship between a parent and child that is under an adult age. Children are to be taught by their elders to know the way they should go in life. I am merely speaking of adults in a family environment.

To cap things off I would like to add that my opinion is not all a doom and gloom. I am also not saying that these things apply to every person in my life or anyone else's. I am a firm believer in the exception to the rule and no two families are alike. However, most families share some common characteristics. This article is based solely on my own experience and is my observant opinion.

The Minion

Friends vs. Family Part 2

Hello Everyone,

Below please find part two of my sister-in-law's thoughts on why relationships with our friends can be more successful than relationships with our family.

CO-
This brings me to the topic of family. I believe that family should be respected and viewed on the same level we would give to a close friend to be successful.  However, we usually fail for several reasons.  Family is something we do not choose. We are born into our family. We are usually able to choose our spouse therefore to some degree we also choose their family. Unfortunately most, usually do not consider the family they will be marrying into. At the risk of sounding tacky I would like to say that we get stuck with the family we have. Family is harder work than any friendship will ever be. I think this is because we can choose our friends and enjoy them, but family tends to operate differently. We are supposed to love our families despite any characteristics they have that become unappealing to us. We do not get to out grow them, or let them fall away when we suddenly have nothing in common with them any longer. Our brother will always be our brother. Our sister will always be our sister, and our mother will always be our mother, and hopefully, done right, our spouse will always be our spouse.

In most cases I think families are more complicated and harder to get along with. I do believe our families love us, or at least the family that we are connected to by blood loves us. However, I also think that our family tends to forget that we are people too. Rather, they see us as the daughter, the son, the niece, the nephew, or the grandchild. I know this sounds like I am reaching and stretching this to make a point, but I do believe there is a difference. It is as though there is a chain of command and everyone has a title over a name. It is set up in the family from the beginning of our lives that our authority is our parent, and their authority is there parents, and so on. There are other authorities over us though they are lesser because what mom and dad say comes first. We are taught to listen to our aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I am not saying this is a bad thing. What I am saying is that as we mature and become adults, our families do not let loose of their authoritative roles in our lives. Rather than letting us go to live our life, make our mistakes, and be happy for our successes they try to continue to control us. The sad thing is that as adults if we do not do things the way they think we should then suddenly we are not honoring them. I have found that manipulation runs rampant in families and I have yet to meet a family that does not do this to some degree. Families set up expectations of us that are not achievable. It is kind of like a snare set up for failure and I do not even think they are aware of the fact that they do it. Sometimes they demand more from us than we are able to give. Our families haven't any qualms about being judgmental toward us and often they lack understanding, and have no interest in gaining any because they have already decided they know what is going on and how to fix it, when they probably don't.
 
To Be Continued......
The Minion

 

Friends vs Family Part 1

Hello everyone,

Several months ago, my sister-in-law, CO, sent me an email regarding why sometimes our relationships with our friends are more successful than our relationships with our family.  This is a little long so I am going to break it up in parts.  I think she has some pretty insightful things to say.

CO-
Friendships vs. Family Relationships
Why is one more successful over the other?

This is a difficult topic to write about, because many of my opinions would vary depending on the friend or family member I am relating these opinions too, but I am going to try to generalize some of what I am writing.

I believe that friends are more accepting of who we are as people. They are less likely to be judgmental of our everyday lives and as the old saying goes "Birds of a feather flock together." Our friends tend to be of a like mind with the things we believe or the actions we typically carry out in our lives. Unfortunately our friendships also tend to be forged from within our own social statuses. It would be difficult (not impossible) for a friendship to be forged from two separate environments socially.

Have you ever noticed how we grow out of some friendships and they fall away after some time? For example, I noticed when I married how the majority of my friends fell to the wayside and given time I had to develop other friends after my new social standing changed. The difference was I was now married and no longer a part of the single crowd. My single friends only wanted to go bar happing, drink, and various other "single minded" activities. I could no longer take part in these things with them. So naturally I no longer fit into these peoples lives. Their interest in me quickly faded, and visa versa due to the lack of common ground that we once shared. Other instances change our social status such as having children, church involvement, financial gain and or loss, and I could go on but I think we get the point. Of course these friends were generally more superficial and the so called love we shared only went skin deep so to speak. The ease in the termination of these friendships also causes me to wonder if we were every really friends in the first place, but that would be another topic all together.

(Let me add that I do think some friends are put in our lives for a short time and some are for a long time.  If you find your friendships changing over time.  That's OK.  I think this agrees with what CO is saying.)
I have had a blessing in life to have a friend that I consider to be more my family than anything. By family I mean that this person will always love me and be a part of my life regardless of the direction my life takes. (Good or bad) Our friendship is successful do to the fact that we completely accept one another, flaws and all. Even when we disagree with one another we have a mutual understanding that the disagreement does not change our acceptance of the other. We respect one another and value each others presences in our lives. There have been times when I have seen this friend making choices that may not have been the smartest thing to do. Being that we are as close as we are, I am able to voice my concerns with her. However, that does not mean she will take my advice or warning. The only thing I can do if things go badly for her is be there for her, be encouraging, and sometimes help pick up the pieces in love. What else are friends truly for except to be there for one another in bad times and enjoy them in the good times? Enjoying their company is only a benefit of friendship but not its purpose when it comes to being that close to a friend.

I believe true friends are bound by a type of love. We have a successful friendship because we choose to act in love toward one another, and a big part of that is not being judgmental toward each other when we mess up. We also do not hold grudges and even forgive each other easily when we have said or done something to offend each other. I am an only child in my family, so I do not know what it is like to have a brother or sister. I imagine for myself that this friend is probably the closest thing I will ever have to a sibling. We have known each other since junior high school and we have been close for longer than P and I have been married. Just as much as I could not imagine my life without P, I also could not imagine not having this friend in my life. It is also nice to be able to talk to someone I can trust about problems that is not on the inside of my family circle. Sometimes it is good to discuss problems with someone that can stay objective because they are not on the inside of what is going on in my world.

To Be Continued.....
The Minion

Why is It Always About You?

This is the title of a book I read on something called narcissism.  One definition of this word is an unhealthy love for ones' self.  Here's what I found really interesting about this.  According to the Bible, in the last days (before Jesus returns) people will be lover's of themselves.

Before I go any further, let me quickly say that I don't have one clue when Jesus will return.  I don't think the world is going to blow up tomorrow or that aliens are plotting with President Obama and the Chinese to overthrow Luxembourg or any of the other crazy rumors you hear these days.  I will also let you in on another secret.  I am not all that anxious for the Lord to return.  Let me tell you why.  Most of the people that I hear today who are anxiously awaiting God's return are also broke down, busted and disgusted people.  I don't want to be chased off this planet with my tail between my legs in Christ's return.  I want to finish my course and when I have been successful at everything that the Lord has for me here, then and only then will I be ready to move to Heaven.

However, I do believe that we are getting close to the return of Christ.  When will that be?  The bible says that God hasn't even told Jesus the exact time.  So if He hasn't confided the exact time in Jesus, I think it's a pretty safe bet that He isn't going to tell me either.

But I think I now understand what this whole concept of people being lovers of themselves means.  It means they will be narcissistic.  Is this a bad thing?  Yes.  Why am I bringing it up?  Because being around these types of people can be extremely unhealthy and there are going to be more and more of them on the earth.  If you are around friends who are like this, you may want to consider whether or not it makes sense to continue to hang around with them.  Also, we all need to check ourselves from time to time to see if we are acting this way.

The reason I find this so interesting is because I have talked to several people lately who were in counseling sessions (no, I am not a counselor) with other people who were diagnosed with this problem.  There is a healthy form of narcissism and I think we need to understand that it is OK to think about yourself and to take care of yourself.  But what we are talking about here is an unhealthy situation.

So let me give you a few things that are characteristics of narcissism:
1.  Like the title of the blog, for some people everything in their life has to be about them.  They can never talk or do anything that doesn't relate to themselves.  They also have to be first priority over everyone else.
2.  Most of the time, they don't apologize when they do something wrong or their apology is a very sarcastic one.  The reason this happens is that a narcissist believes their world is completely perfect and that they are perfect.  They have a hard time understanding that it's OK to have imperfections.  But like we have discussed before, no one is perfect.
3.  They project anything negative onto other people.  This sort of goes hand in hand with number 2.  If someone tells them that they are wrong about anything, someone else is always to blame for them being wrong.  For example, if you tell a narcissist that they were rude to a store clerk, the narcissist will always blame someone else for why they were rude.
4.  They rarely have the ability to make anyone else happy unless they are completely happy.
5.  Because they have to keep their world perfect, you cannot tell them that they are a narcissist because it would mean that they have an imperfection.

There are others and if you feel like someone in your life really has this problem, I encourage you to get the book with that title and read it.

So why am I telling you all this you ask?  Because these types of people can be very draining.  If you have friends like that, you might want to seriously consider whether or not the friendship is worth it.  If we stay in friendships like that, they are very draining on us and can ultimately do us a lot of emotional harm.

But here is the other reason I wanted to write about this.  I want you to take a look at those five items again.  Now this is going to be very hard because if you have a problem, then it will be difficult for you to admit to this particular one.  But I want you to ask yourself honestly if any of those things apply to you.  I don't want you to be overly critical of yourself.  Just because you came up with an excuse for something you did yesterday doesn't make you a narcissist.  However, if you can't admit that you are wrong, you do have a big problem.

See I was like that for a long time in a couple of areas.  I could not admit that I had a problem with food and I could not admit that I had a problem spending money.  Both were true but this was especially true with money.  I was a financial disaster.  It hurt not only me but also my family and I could not admit to myself that I had a problem.  Finally for me, I had an incident happen that actually woke me up.



That's another Opinion of the Minion

Make a Difference

I read somewhere recently that sometime around 40 years old, something happens on the inside of many of men.  They begin to evaluate their life and there is a deep desire to make a difference in the lives of the people around them.  As many of you know, I am 40 years old and I know this is the case in my life.

There comes a time in many lives where we sit back and wonder what mark we have made on earth.  For some that might mean being the best mom they could.  For others it might mean being the best friend they could.  For me?  Well, I don't know the complete answer yet.  Part of what that means to me is being the best dad I can.  As many of you know I have three really great children and they are certainly a blessing.  But yet, I know that with blessing comes responsibility.  It's my responsibility to make sure they have a house to live in, food on the table, and clothes on their back.  It's also my responsibility to make sure they go to school and get a good education.  Now by the grace of God, I have done this so far.  That should make me a good dad and I could sit back and feel like I've made my mark.  But as a dad, I recently got a true revelation of my real responsibility to train them up in the ways of the Lord and to be/do all the intangible things.  Because of that, I have recently read several books on how to be a true Godly man in front of my children.  If I can impart this to them, I will certainly have made a mark on the world because they can carry this forward.

But while being a great dad is very important, it will not be enough to satisfy me.  I want to do something that will say I was here many years after I depart for Heaven.  So what else should I do?  I want to be a great companion.  There is a song by a group called the Crabb Family called Ellsworth.  This particular song is about an elderly woman who has started to mentally slip to the point where she doesn't know a lot about her day to day activities any more.  But if you bring up her husband, she clearly remembers how much she loved him and how much he loved her.  It's similar to a movie called "The Notebook."  Yes, I've seen the movie.  I want to make that type of mark on a woman's life.  I want to be so good to her that 50 years from now, if I'm gone before her she still remembers how much I loved her.  I want to make a difference in her life.  I think I may be at the beginning of that opportunity now and I am really enjoying it.  There is something very special about a good woman.  Did you know Solomon said he looked through 1000 people and found a real man but he had never found a real woman.  Well I guess I am more blessed than Solomon.

Where else can I make a difference?  I can make a difference in the lives of the people who work for me.  On of the greatest privileges in my life is to have the opportunity to be part of God blessing other people with good jobs.  This is certainly a place where I can make my mark in the world.  I can grow my company to the place where I can continue to put people to work and help them feed their families.  Will this make me a lot of money in the process?  Yes.  Is money my motivation for growing a business?  In part I suppose it is but the though of making a difference in some one's life is a bigger motivation.  I recently added a full time employee to our company and I can tell you it was a good feeling knowing that I gave someone else an opportunity to succeed.

I guess I am certainly pleased with the difference I have made so far in the people around me.  And guess what.  Many of them have made a big difference in my life.  In the last several weeks I have become very content and my heart has filled to overflowing because of one person in particular.

But I still want to be able to touch more people's lives in a positive way.  As I am sure most of you know, that's the reason for this blog.  Thank you for reading them and I hope they do make a positive difference in your lives.  Let me stop for a second and say that setting out to make a difference in other people's lives may seem like a strange thing to do.  After all, aren't we supposed to make sure that we are happy?  Well the answer to that question is partially yes but let me tell you what happens when you set out to make a difference in someone else.  You will get happy in the process.  Giving unselfishly to others will produce more happiness in your life than you could have ever imagined.

So let me challenge you with this.  If you are younger than me or older the time to start making a difference is now.  Start with those closest to you and then expand your horizons.  Before you know it, you might be touching people literally around the world.  You can even do it from a small place like Fort Worth, Texas.

That's another Opinion of the Minion 

My Faith Story

Hello everyone.  As most of you who read this blog know, I am a Christian.  An amazing person asked me to share my testimony with her and because if what she said to me after I told her, I thought I would share my personal testimony with you.  After you read this, I would very much love to hear yours.  Please, please, please right back and tell me your testimony.  They are such a blessing.

I have edited it a little but this is what I told her:

I think I was saved when I was four or five. The reason I say this is I have always thought that Jesus was my Lord as long as I could remember. Living like he was Lord was a different thing growing up. We went to a non-denominiational church that believed in the baptism of the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in other tongues. The problem with the penticostal denomination is there are some very wierd people doing extremely strange things that make everyone else look strange. I attend Eagle Mountain Church now and it is a non-denominational church. 

Anyway, let me go back in time. Growing up I had a drug problem. My mom drug me to church every Sunday and I hated it. It interfered with watching the Cowboy games and even when they weren't playing I liked to watch wrestling on Saturday night which put me up late.  Hey, I was just a kid.  I didn't know it was fake back then.  I watched local wrestling and really go into it.  Anyway, after I got out of children's church, my brother and I sat at the back of the church in a strategic spot that would allow me to put my bible under my right arm and keep my head straight up and down while I slept. The only way you would know I was sleeping was if you were sitting in front of me and turned around or if I snored.  No one ever woke me up so I guess I didn't snore too loud.  We were also far enough away from the pulpit that the pastor or preacher couldn't see us either.

Back then we went to Calvary Cathedral which is a non-denominational church near downtown. So I slept every Sunday and Pastor Bob Nichols would always end his service by saying, "Father, we have heard the word of God today...." I always felt bad because I hadn't heard it. I slept through the service and I didn't want to lie to God so I wouldn't say that part. Then I finally started staying awake and listening to the word.

That's about when I started TCU. At TCU I was in ROTC and was pretty excited about doing a "varsity sport" called Ranger Challenge. I was in the hunt to make the team when I had an accident at church softball practice that caused me to miss making the team (it was just a bruised thigh but by the time I could run again, I had missed it). That sent me into somewhat of a depressed state. To cut the story a little short, I ended up getting "kicked out" of ROTC because I couldn't hold my weight down and ended up moving in with a girl. This is probably the lowest point in my life and what happened next was truly terrible.  I got her pregnant and she had an abortion.  At this point, I was as far away from God as I ever remember being.  But here's something amazing.  I was far from him but he was never far from me.  The bible says he will never leave me nor forsake me.

While I was going through this period of my life, I obviously quit going to church. I thought up all kinds of nasty things to say about the people who went there. I said they were hypocrites, unfriendly, not real, etc. Word of what I was saying got back to the church I am sure but I never heard anything ugly in response. So, I was living in a one bedroom apartment with this girl and her parents came down and broke us up.  I met her parents before the pregnancy and I remember going for a walk with her dad.  Since we were in college, dating was serious and he wanted to know what my intentions were with his daughter.  I told her dad I wanted to marry her.  It's a wonder he didn't shoot me right there!  I was a complete disaster.  I had been kicked out of ROTC, I was barely able to stay in school, my grades were terrible and I lost my job because I was too lazy to go to work.  If my daughter brought me from back then home, I would have been horrified. After they broke us up, I ultimately got evicted from my apartment because I was too lazy to work and moved back in with my mom and dad. I was either 21 or 22 at the time. At this point, I knew something was desperately wrong. I could not figure out what to do so I would go sit in the bathtub with my bible knowing something wasn't right but not knowing what to do.

Finally, I decided I needed to get right with God (Maybe I got saved for the first time at this point. Honestly, I am not sure). So I decided to go to church with my brother who still attended our church in the youth service. I was prepared to be shunned and rejected and I deserved it but I needed to get right with God and I knew he would be there whether or not the people received me or not. The youth pastor's name was Mark Carillo and I know he preached a sermon but to this day, I have no idea what he preached. As I sit writing this, I am listening to a song called, "The Lighthouse." It couldn't be more appropriate. So Pastor Mark was preaching and it was all I could do not to yell at him to shut up and open the alter. I needed to get right with God and I wanted it done right then. The thought of just going to God on my own was something I could not quite understand yet. Anyway, as soon as he opened the alter, I was the first one down. Then something truly amazing happened. Those people who I had bad mouthed just gathered around me and loved me. They hugged me and prayed with me. It was living mercy that still brings tears to my eyes.

When I stood up, I knew I was right with God and it was a great feeling.

That's the testimony of the Minion