Monday, April 23, 2012

Emotions

OK boys lets talk about something we don't typically have and something we think women have way too much - emotions.

Someone asked me to write about emotions.  Let me start with the way I feel.  Well, as I write this, I am in a strange mood.  I feel great.  I have dealt with a couple of very stressful situations lately and I still feel great.  Why, you ask?  Good question and I don't have a great answer.  I just feel good!

See that's the thing with emotions.  They just are.  Sometimes there are things that happen in our lives that trigger certain emotions.  Take last Sunday morning for example.  We are on our way to church when my daughter says to me, "Dad, I want to cut my hair short for two reasons.  First of all, it's almost summer and it gets hot in Texas.  Second, I want to give my hair to make wigs for kids who don't have any hair."  Well, something happened to me emotionally and I thought that the buttons were going to pop right off my shirt.  I felt very proud of her for her unselfish thought.  It was great.

There have been other times when I have felt emotionally down for no real reason.  Have you ever just had a case of the blues and you couldn't figure out why?  Now let me say that when it comes to emotions I really don't know much about them.  Until about a year ago, I tried to pretend that I didn't have them.  That is definitely not a good place!  I can tell you this.  The reason I shut down emotionally for a large part of my life was because I got hurt.  We all have places and people in our lives that cause us pain.  Unfortunately, that just comes with being a human.  The only real question is how are we going to handle that pain when it comes.  Now because pain is such a strong emotion I could write about it for a while but I am going to stop here.

Let's talk about positive emotions.  Have you ever been in love before?  If you have, you know it feels great.  Have you ever succeeded at doing something you really tried hard at?  That sense of accomplishment feels really good and it should.  I think we will do ourselves a lot of good if we spend more time focusing on the good emotions than the bad ones.  Unfortunately, I think many times we do just the opposite.  This isn't helpful to anyone especially you/me!

Now while I don't know much about emotions, there are a couple of things that I have learned about them.  First of all, they can change very quickly.  Some people get very emotional and react to every little thing.  One day they are so happy nothing in their world can be wrong but two minutes later, someone says something they don't like and the whole world is going down the drain.  Have you ever been around someone like that?  They can really wear you out.  So what am I saying, try to stay emotionally balanced. You should feel all the emotions but try not to let them throw you too far out good or bad.

Second, if you are someone who is lead by your emotions all the time, you are in deep trouble.  Now for those of you who have known me for a long time, many of you would say that I was a pretty unemotional guy.  Many people might say that I made every decision based on analysis and not much emotion.  That would probably be true and that extreme is not a good way to live.  But the other extreme is equally as dangerous.  If you run around with your emotional heart on your sleeve, it won't take long for someone to bump into you and hurt you.  When that happens you can make emotional decisions that are not sound ones.  For example, if you are married and your spouse says something that hurts your feelings you might be triggered to say something very ugly and hurtful back because of the emotions you felt.  If this pattern continues, it can cost you a marriage.  I can think of many other places where this is true as well but for the sake of time, I think I am going to wrap it up right here.

I guess that's about all I have on this topic for now.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Friendship

OK today I want to talk about friends and I don't mean the TV show.  If you don't have them, you should really try and make some.  I know an amazing woman named D.  She has lots of great friends and I have truly enjoyed meeting them.  I have met some that were very old friends and some that were relatively recent.  A friend of my dad once asked me if I had any old golf balls.  "No," I replied.  "Well then I bet you are not a very good golfer," he said.

Let me ask this question.  If you are an adult, do you have any old friends?  If not, ask yourself this question, "Am I a good friend?"  You might be surprised at the answer.  See my dad's friend was telling me that if I did not play golf for a long period of time and keep the same golf balls around then I was hitting them very badly and losing many of them.  I think it's the same way with our friends.  If we don't have any old ones, we must be treating them badly and losing them.

So I think old friends are important.  I recently had the opportunity to go visit with a friend of mine named A.  A and I became friends in 7th grade.  That was thirty years ago and we are still friends to this day.  When we went to visit him, I went with another friend of mine named, B.  B and I met in 7th grade as well.  It was fun retelling the stories of our childhood growing up in Saginaw, Texas.  I can say these people know stuff about me that I hope doesn't find it's way to the internet!

But what about making new friends?  As I said, D has a lot of friends.  One of them is a great lady named K.  I have only been around K a few times but I really respect her.  She's a great mom and a good friend.  She and D met within the last few years and have been fast friends since.  So let me turn the tables a little on our earlier discussion.  When was the last time you made a new friend?  If it has been several years, maybe it's time to think about making a new one.

How do we do that you ask?  The answer is much simpler than you think.  We make new friends by being friendly.  That's really pretty simple stuff right.  Well for me, I am a little bit of an introvert so showing myself friendly can definitely be work.  Now when I write this blog, I share a lot of personal stuff so you might think I am an open book and in many respects that is true.  But sometimes it can be hard for me to reach out to people and make friends when I don't know them. 

So let me close with this.  Friendships are so very important.  Our true friends are always there for us and it is great because unlike family we get to chose our friends.  I will try to post something about chosing your friends wisely but for now, let me just close by asking you this.  If you did a personal inventory of all your friends, how many would you have?  Is that enough?  Only you can answer that.

And that's another Opinion of the Minion.