Where Am I?

Today's blog will discuss three things.  Where do I want to be?  Where am I?  Where was I?

So let's get started with the first question.  Where do I want to be?  I think we should all have clear goals in life.  It's very important to have direction.  After all, if you don't know where you are going, you won't know when you get there.  So if you don't have direction in life, that's definitely something to work on.  However, I think many of us know are goals.  How about losing weight?  I want to lose about 30 pounds.  Many of you know my story and know that I lost a lot of weight once upon a time.  Unfortunately, I have found a few of those pounds in the last year and I need to lose them again.  Our how about getting better grades in school?  Many of you are still in school and I will bet many of you would like to bring your grades up right?  Where you want to be can cover such a wide range of topics from grades to money to relationships and just about anything else.

Now the problem with where I want to be is that it can really screw up where I am.  How?  Let me explain.    Most of us have some area of life that isn't the way we want it.  That's why we have goals of where we want to be.  If we had already achieved that goal, it would be where I am, not where I want to go.  Confused?  Let me illustrate.  My goal is to lose 30 pounds.  I am not where I want to be in that area.  I want to weigh a little less.  Where I am is 30 pounds heaver than where I want to be.  So here's where the problem comes in.  If I am not getting to my goal fast enough or if I am having struggles making progress, it can cause me to feel defeated.  It can cause me to feel like I am never going to reach my goals in life.  It might even be the driving force that causes me to give up altogether.  That's a very bad place to be.  Don't let your present circumstances discourage you from accomplishing your goals.

Let's look for a minute at the last place, where we were.  Now many times we feel that where we are and where we were are the same place meaning sometimes it seems like we struggle a lot and don't make much progress getting to where we want to go.  Sometimes that's true.  Sometimes we can even look at all our past failures and that can be discouraging.  But I want you to take a closer look in your past for a minute.  Find someplace where your life is better than it was.  Are you in the 8th grade instead of the 7th?  Are you living in a nicer house or driving a nicer car than you once did?  Maybe you have a better job than you used to have.  For me, I used to weigh 350 pounds.  I have definitely come a long way in that area of my life.  Use the successful area of your life for a minute.  You succeeded in moving forward in that area.  Now if you can succeed there, you can succeed in your next goal right?  Come on now, don't give me excuses.  If you did it once, you can do it again.  You can achieve your next goal.

Now that we have looked at where we want to be, where we are and where we were, I want to leave you with one thought by one of my favorite preachers.  I'm not where I want to be but thank God I'm not where I used to be.

And thats' another Opinion of the Minion.

A Letter to My Daughter

I wanted to take a little different approach today.  As I write this letter to my daughter, I hope you read this and understand that whether you are a boy or girl, you have a Father in Heaven who loves you very dearly.  I will attempt to write from my heart to Katherine's but know that nothing I can put on this blog will come near expressing the Father's love for you.  He loves you very dearly and I do too.  I hope you hear a little of Him in this.

Dear Katherine,

I want to start this letter by telling you what a beautiful little girl you are.  I tell you this often because it's true and just comes naturally out of my heart but I also tell you this because I want you to know how special you really are.  I want you to hear it from me so that you won't have to try to find this type of affirmation from some other boy.

Your smile constantly warms my heart.  Sunday, it made my day to carry you out to the car.  Right now, you are still small enough for me to do that but I know the time is coming when you will out grow it.  I am also constantly amazed by you.  I have also told you many times that you are one of the smartest little girls I have ever met.  How you know so much at 7 years old is a mystery to me.  You are kind, loving, compassionate, strong willed, intelligent, athletic, smart, quick, outgoing, friendly and beautiful all rolled into one little girl.  You are all that I could have ever asked for in a daughter and so so much more.

You say things that just make me laugh.  I will never forget you telling me that you wanted to run away to another country but that you couldn't because you wanted to take your bible and they would kill you if they caught you with it.  You were only about 4 at the time and it was so precious.  Of course, I had to talk to David (her oldest brother) about how he filled you with all that stuff but it was one of the little memories I will always cherish.

I also love your independent spirit.  It was only a couple of weeks ago that I made you take a roller skating lesson for David's birthday.  I was helping you with your skates and you kept telling me that you didn't need a lesson and that you could already skate.  I just smiled (not believing you - big mistake) and told you to go get in line for the lesson.  As I finished helping your friend Kylie get her skates on and turned around, I was shocked to find you roller skating all over the floor minding your own business.  The best thing about that experience was as I left the rink, you skated over to say good bye and I picked you up to give you a hug.  With the biggest sparkle in your eye and the warmest smile, you leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Dad, I told you I could roller skate!"  It makes me smile just thinking about it.

Many people have said that you will be a handful when you get a little older but I don't see it exactly that way.  I know that you are going to be as amazing as an adult as you are as a child.  I don't want you to grow up any time soon (even though I can't stop it) but I do look forward to watching you as an adult.  I know you will be successful at anything you do.

Now sweetheart, I want to talk about something else.  There are times in your life when you do things wrong.  Sometimes I have to discipline you for them and that's OK.  Sometimes they really make me laugh.  What I want you to understand is that if you make a mistake it's fine.  I make mistakes every day.  Sometimes they just happen.  I don't want you to get down on yourself when you do something wrong.  I am not going to lie to you and tell you that there is no right or wrong.  That's not true.  But I do want you to know that even if you do something wrong, it doesn't change what an amazing, wonderful, and truly great person you are.  Nothing can change that.  I have seen you come down pretty hard on yourself when you make a mistake and sometimes that's not good.

Here's what I want you to do if you make a mistake.  Admit it, ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself and try not to do it again.  But no matter what you do, my love for you will never change.  When I first held you, it was one of the greatest days of my life and I was totally speechless.  I was completely in love with this little baby in my arms.  Every corner of my heart was filled with love for you.  Over the last seven years, something has happened that I didn't think was possible.  My love for you has grown.  You know that God gave us His son Jesus to take the punishment for our sins.  One of the great things about God is that He didn't stop giving with Jesus.  He gave you to me.  You are so special to me and I am so proud of the little lady you are becoming.

You are so beautiful and I love you with all my heart.

Dad

An that's a letter from the Minion

Another About Me

Periodically I ask people on Facebook to send me questions that they would like me to answer.  Many of them ones that I have answered before but I don't mind answering them again so here goes.

HG - Do you write bible stuff?  Actually, I started another blog called, "The Minion's Bible Stories."  A few people have heard me tell stories and seemed really interested so I started trying to put many of the bible stories I heard as a child in words that young people today would understand.  My goal is to preserve the message but hopefully make it a little more understandable.  If you read this blog, it is also my sincere hope that you see Jesus in all that I write.

CH - What made you want to start this Minion business?  I get this question every time I do one of these posts and I always enjoy answering it.  There was a point in the not to distant past that I felt frustrated at not being able to express myself.  So I started a blog as a place to just free think on "paper."  My first blog was about books.  Some I liked and some I didn't  so I wrote about them.  My next blog was specifically for my uncle.  It compared fishing to golf.  I did it just to have fun with him.  Then something truly life changing happened.  The Lord began to show me a different way to look at people and I will never be the same.  I wrote a blog called, "The Box - Do You Have the Courage to Open It?"  See God showed me that everyone is a gift from him to the world and that each one of us has certain unique and amazing qualities inside of us.

After I wrote that, a friend of mine and I were talking and she gave me another idea for a blog.  After I wrote a few of them, I started the fan page on Facebook because I didn't want all of my friends to see a post on their wall every time I wrote a blog.  For some reason, I still can't totally grasp, people I didn't know started liking my fan page and I continued to write.  That was almost five months ago.  I continue to be shocked at the growth of this blog.

HG - What's your favorite animal? - I guess I would have to say dogs but I like a lot of animals.

TH & OR - What is your favorite color? - Blue I guess.

JN - Why do you guys always talk with the b going first? - I think this is a reference to Despicable Me.  I am not sure the answer to the question.  I used a picture of a minion from the movie because I thought it was cool but I am not associated with the movie.

CS - Which minion are you? - Like I said, I'm not associated with the movie so I guess I'm not any particular minion.

AR and BG - Will there be a Despicable Me 2? - I don't know but I hope so.  The first one was a good movie.

JH - Is there a Minion for every opinion? - I don't think so.  It's just me mostly and my friend DD helps me.

SM - What is the minion's catch phrase? - I don't know about the ones from the movie.  I don't think I have one.

EF - Who makes the little overalls? - Good question but I don't know.

CB - Where are the girl minions? - I don't know.

CB - Do you go to the bathroom and eat stuff? - Yup.

MJ and LM - Why are you called the Minion? Why did you decide to name your blog the Opinion of the Minion?  - Well that's sort of a long story so I will try to keep it short and explain.  I was in Houston, TX in February with some friends at an event.  We were supposed to show up the next morning to tear down the tent.  I was there but some of my friends weren't.  The guy we were helping asked where the minions were?  I thought this was funny and then one day, I made a comment about starting a blog called, "The Opinion of the Minion" and it just kind of stuck.

DP - How do I get minions of my own? - I get asked this a lot and unfortunately, I don't know.

SR - When can you come live with me?  lol  I love the minion!! - Thank you SR.  I really appreciate the encouragement.

LB - Will you do my laundry?  Nope.  I have enough work doing my own.  :-)

BD - Do you have a pet?  What state do you live in? - Yes I have a dog that I got from a rescue.  Her name is Clara Belle and she is about 4 years old.  She is big, white and sort of looks like a polar bear.  I live in Texas.

JS - Are you a genetic science experiment? - I don't think so.

AC - Umm?  Well are you famous? - I don't think so.

SK - CL is right.  I do speak English but it was a good question because many of the Internet browsers will translate languages for you.

AS - Have you ever been on a date? - Yup.

I guess that's it for this rendition of The Opinion of the Minion.

Titles - Good or Bad?

As there are several of the readers of this blog who are young people and/or single people, I wanted to write another piece on dating/relationships.  This time I want to take a look at titles.  There is always that question of what should we call each other.  Is he your boyfriend?  Are y'all just friends?  What does it mean?  How do we define exactly what we are?  I have come to the conclusion that sometimes fitting things into a neat box doesn't really work.  I asked DD about her thoughts on titles and here is what she had to say.

DD - People want to know.  Your friends, family, co-workers, etc. want to know what's going on with you and your "love life."  But what if you don't even know?  What if you're still figuring things out and can't even define it yourself?  Then who wants to give a long-winded explanation about what the state of your relationship is or isn't?  That's what Facebook deems "it's complicated."  Now if you fit neatly into a "box" or an exact title relates to you like single, engaged, or married, it makes the titling process much easier.  But life isn't always black and white.  Life has plenty of areas of grey--especially in the realm of relationships.  But in the grand scheme of things, how important are titles?  What's actually important is what's really going on between two people.  Are you having a good time with the other person?  Does that other person add value to your life?  Do they make you laugh?  Are you able to enjoy same activities together?  Have you both gone through the same experience and can relate to one another?  Does the other person make you a better person?  Do you feel special when you are with the other person?  Are you happier because the other person is in your life?  If the answer is yes to some or even most of these questions, isn't that way more important than what you call that person?  Your actions and habits will be way more telling to your friends, family members, co-workers, etc.  They will know what kind of impact the the other person is making in your life by your actions, attitude, and outlook.  They will know the person you spend the most of your time with is your "Number 1." :-)
     
Thank you DD for your thoughts and I totally agree.  Instead of, "Is he my boyfriend?"  Ask the question, "Does he treat me in a way that makes me feel special?"  If you can't answer a lot of those types of questions, the issue of a relationship should take care of itself.

I would also like to add that I think defining how you want to be treated is a very good thing.  If you are dating someone and you think that the two of you are not seeing anyone else, that probably needs to be communicated.  In today's society, it's important for him to know if you expect him to open the car door or if you want to open it yourself.  Now that is a pretty small thing but if it's something important you should talk about it.  There are others.  You should expect him to treat you with respect on every level.  Also, guys, she should treat you with respect.  What does that look like?  That's really for you to decide.  You should spend time thinking about how you want to be treated instead of you what you want be called.

And that's an Opinion of the Minion

Changing You

As I sit here working on a project that the Lord has placed in my heart, I believe he gave me something for this blog.  Today I want to talk about change.

As many of you know, I used to weigh 350 pounds.  I lost a lot of weight and am certainly a different man today.  I am so thankful to God that he got me from where I was to where I am.  But there was a part of that journey that really hit home to me this morning.

See, I was like most people who have weight issues.  I tried every diet that I could think of and most more than once trying to loose weight but I couldn't do it.  I tried Atkins (more than once before it actually worked).  I tried counting calories.  I even tried some 30 year old three day diet that my boss had.  None of them worked.  Here is the hardest part.  Every time I started one of those diets, I would make it a point to tell everyone that I was going on the diet.  I would start all of them with good intentions.  When we went out to eat, I would eat whatever was on the diet of the day.  I could normally stick with it for at least a few days.  Occasionally I would make it a week or two before I fell off the wagon.

I was also the king of starting a diet "tomorrow" or "next week."  I would even tell my friends this.  Several times I would decide right before Thanksgiving that I was going on a diet.  I was married then and my ex-wife's family had a massive gathering at our house.  Now they always brought that good Paula Dean kind of food.  I recently heard someone say that she wasn't a chef because of what she cooked.  Well if you are from the south, you know that her food will put a smile on your face that Ajax won't take off.  Lynn's family always had the best turkey and dressing with all the trimmings plus the best homemade desserts in the world.  Now obviously I couldn't really start a diet on that day so it was always going to start the day after Thanksgiving.  It never did.

Eventually, I think my friends and family refused to believe me when I said I was starting a diet.  They had good reason not to believe based on what they were seeing from me.  After all, I never kept my word about the diet.  Not once.  So most people didn't believe me.

One day, I told my trainer JC (no not Jesus Christ - but maybe I should start more training with Him) I was going on a diet.  He told me something that still resonates with me today.  Now I pay my trainer to train me and I am certainly not used to people I pay talking to me in this manner but he was right.  He said, "Tommy, you are full of sh*&.  Don't ever lie to my face again about dieting.  When you get tired of being fat, you won't be fat anymore and you won't have to tell anyone.  They will know."  He was exactly right.

I never told anyone I was going on a diet again.  As I started losing weight, people would notice and say something to me.  See, I didn't have to work to get someone to see what I wanted them to.  I just did it and they saw the result.

I said all that to say this.  When you get tired of whatever issue you are facing, go to God and ask for his help overcoming it.  The two of you will beat anything that you want to get rid of.  But many times when you make that decision, people won't get excited about it.  That's OK.  It's your vision for your life not theirs.  Don't worry about it.  Once you decide to change something, just cling to your decision with all your might.  I don't even think you need to tell anyone that you decided to change.  Just make the change and everyone else around you will see it.  And remember, God is right there to help you through any problem or area of life you want to change.  He won't do everything for you but he will supply what you need to change your life.

I want to encourage you today.  What area are you facing that you want to change?  Take it to God and get his direction.  Then just go about changing.  Don't tell anyone - just do it.  When the results are shown, people will see it.  But know this - You and God can overcome any challenge you face.  Well, once again, I have blogged myself happy.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

Forgiveness

OK.  I have a confession to make.  I am writing this particular post for my benefit.  As you read it, I hope it helps you too.

Have you ever had one of those times when you really did something that you thought was wrong?  In the southern United States, we might say have you ever had one of those days where you showed yourself?  Well recently, I did something that I knew was wrong.  Now most people wouldn't consider what I did to be wrong but it was wrong to me and that's what matters in this case.  I did something I said I wouldn't do. At the very least I broke my word.  It was something that really bothered me for a while.

Now I did the right thing afterwards.  I went to the Lord and asked him to forgive me.  I was truly repentant meaning I didn't want to make the same mistake again.  Do you know what happened?  He forgave me immediately.  See his word says that if we confess our sins to him that he is faithful and just to forgive us.  He then takes the memory of our sin and puts it away.  If I had asked him five minutes later about the same sin, He would have purposefully forgotten what I was talking about and wouldn't discuss it.  Because in his mind that situation was over and done.  He didn't hold it against me.  To him it was as if the whole thing never happened.  Now if He is God, the ultimate judge and jury, and He forgave me, why is it I felt so bad for a few days and then why did the feeling bad go away?

Let me tell you my theory.  First of all, I believe you should be remorseful if you do something wrong.  I am not suggesting that we should just not care when we make a mistake.  That's not true.  The Lord will convict our spirits when we do something wrong.  The reason he does this is so we can repent and go the right direction.

So why did I feel so bad?  Punishment.  I think I needed to punish myself for what I did.  God didn't leave the condemnation on me, his conviction was gone as soon as I confessed what I did and asked for forgiveness.  I put all that one me.  And notice something else about what I did.  After a few days, I didn't feel bad anymore.  Today I wish I had done a few things differently but I don't feel bad about what I did anymore.  I mentally served my time.  I can also hear some of you getting upset because I don't feel bad now for doing something wrong.  I didn't say that I felt like it was right.  I just said stopped feeling bad.

So here is the thing.  I need to learn to forgive myself just as quickly as God forgives me.  Once I admitted I was wrong.  That should have been the end of the whole situation.  If God forgives me, I should forgive me too.

Let me ask you this.  When was the last time you did something "wrong"?  It may not be considered wrong to anyone else but you considered it to be wrong.  Did you ask God to forgive you?  If you did something to someone else, did you ask them to forgive you?  Now here is the real question.

Did you forgive yourself?

If you didn't, what are you waiting for?  Once you forgive yourself, forget it.  Try hard not to make the same mistake again but forget what you did.  It's over.  Sometimes that's easier said than done as I experienced recently but it is the right thing to do.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

Impact

Today I want to talk to you about something important - impact.  Impact what you ask?  Not what but who.  Who's life do you impact?  Some people you know, some you would know if you thought about it and some you may never know this side of heaven but you do impact people's lives.  The question is how do you impact them?

We have all had situations where we did something we regret and it might have impacted someone in a very negative way.  While that is certainly unfortunate and we should all strive to avoid hurting people, I want to discuss how we impact people in a good way.

The first group of people we impact are people we impact their lives and we know it.  I recently found out that a friend of mine was having a really bad day.  I was able to do something for her that really cheered her up.  It was really cool because I knew she was hurting and I got to help brighten her day.  I also got to brighten two of her friends day at the same time.  It was a really fun thing to do.  So let me ask you, when was the last time you did something nice for someone?  When did you do something for someone just because you wanted to do a nice thing without hope of any type of payment?  Can you think of exactly what you did and when?  If it was longer than a week ago, you are long over due to help someone.  I apologize right now if this sounds like bragging.  If you know my heart, you know I don't ever want to brag on myself.  However, it is fun to be the person God uses to bless someone.  I had one day last week where I was able to bless several people on the same day.  It was really neat.  I even had the opportunity to do something nice for someone today.  That came with a huge payoff though.  The smile on that person's face made the whole thing worth while.

The next group of people are ones that you can impact in a positive way if you will just look around and pay attention.  I struggle with this group sometimes because I don't pay as much attention to others as I should.  Now everything you do for someone doesn't have to be a big thing.  Maybe its something small like seeing someone walking out of Starbucks with their hands full and opening the door for them.  I did that today.  Was it a big deal?  No.  Was it something nice for someone I didn't know?  Sure.

See, we all know what our friends and family need.  In many cases, because we are so close to that group, that we are intimately aware of what they need.  When we get a chance to help, we should.  But what about other people around us?  What about the guy in the wheel chair struggling up a hill.  I recently watched a guy go up a hill near my apartment.  I should have helped him but I didn't.  Look around you, there are people everywhere that need help, we just have to open our eyes and watch.

There is another group that we should pay close attention.  Unfortunately, we will never know who this group is.  Well, how can we pay attention to them if we don't know who they are?  We can pay attention to how we treat people in general and the example we set.  Whether you know it or not, people are watching you every day to see what kind of person you are.  Do you help people or do you hurt people.  Let me ask a question.  If you were the only Jesus someone ever saw, what would they think of Him?  That's a pretty sobering question and if you take it the wrong way, you can wind up in condemnation.  I don't want you to go there.  What if someone looked at the way you acted and said, "That person is just a great person.  If that is what Jesus is all about, count me in?"  That would be pretty cool huh.

Well, sometimes we can say a word of encouragement to someone and we will never know that they were encouraged.  Not too long ago, I was talking to a close friend of mine who happens to be my banker.  We were talking and he was telling me about a mutual friend of ours who now lives in Houston and is doing quite well.  Apparently several years ago, I was sharing with our friend about tithing and how it changed my life.  I learned that the true way to increase was to give.  That doesn't make sense right?  But it works.  Anyway I don't even remember talking about this with our friend but apparently he was inspired by what I told him and started tithing himself.  Now he is very successful and he told my banker friend that he remembered our conversation from several years ago even to this day. If I remember right, that pushed him over the top in the right direction.

So let me leave you with this.  You impact people around you all the time everyday.  It's up to you what you do with that opportunity.  You have the ability to do something nice for someone that will bless them and encourage them.

In this life, making a million dollars isn't important, making a difference is.

That's the Opinion of the Minion

Running Into A Box

Hi Everyone.  As I sit and listen for what to write this morning, I keep coming back to the Box.  I am working on a new project and I am inserting a little of it below.

           "As I come over the top of the hill.  I spot something truly remarkable.  It’s a box and it’s on the opposite side of the street from where I am running.  This box isn’t just any old box, it’s silver with a bright red bow around it.  You know the kind, you can take the lid off the box without disturbing the ribbon on the lid or the box because someone has wrapped each seperately.  I will never know exactly what is in this box but I appreciate it none the less.  God has placed certain unique qualities inside this box.  Who knows what they are but because he took so much time and care when he created it, I respect it greatly.  It is truly an amazing gift to the world and I am honored just to see it for a few minutes.  As I look around, there are more boxes.  One is crossing the street and one is already in front of me on the same side of the street.  One thing I know for sure - God is deeply and passionately in love with each of these boxes and that makes me appreciate them greatly.  Many of these boxes need help and I wish I could be the one to help them all.  Sometimes I get to but not as often as I would like.

This particular box, I never get to speak with.  Now if you saw all these boxes, you would not see wrapping paper and might not see the gift from God that I see.  You might just see people because that is what they are."

OK you might say but I don't get the point.  Well several months ago, the Lord showed me something truly remarkable.

You see, when God creates a person he gives them abilities, passions, desires, talents and all sorts of wonderful attributes that we seldom ever see.  Then he takes all these things and puts them in a box with silver wrapping paper and very pretty red ribbon tied in a bow around it.  He calls the box - You.  It is a present to the world.  When I saw this for the first time, I looked around at all the people walking by and said to myself, "Merry Christmas!" because all I could see were beautiful boxes waiting to be opened.

The problem is many people don't even know what is in their own box much less have taken the time to look in someone elses box.  This starts when we are in school.  As we grow up, we learn all kinds of new things about ourselves: what we like, what we don't, the changes that our bodies go through, we learn things in school about the world and we learn about social interaction.  But sometimes that social interaction teaches us that the stuff in our box isn't all that important.

Have you ever felt like the stuff inside you doesn't really matter?  Can you look back to a point in your life where you were doing something you really enjoyed and someone else called it or you stupid or worthless?

When you pull the most precious parts of your life out of the box and let other people see them, it is scary because you are definitely vulnerable at that point.  But know this, the Lord put all those wonderful things inside and they are of great price and value.  Don't let someone cheapen what is so precious by their comments.

Everyday, I see people who are alive but aren't living.  I think it is because they have told themselves that the treasures in their box aren't important or worth much so they don't do anything with them.  They may not have done this openly but below the surface it happens.  You have to know that if God took the time to create you and put all those treasures inside you, they are important both to him and to me.

When was the last time you looked in your box and pulled out something you truly enjoyed and used it?  When was the last time you opened the box?  When was the last time you were passionate about anything?  Are you so caught up in the rat race that your box isn't important any more?

Here is another interesting question - When was the last time you opened up someone else's box to see who they really are and celebrate the gifts inside them?  Do you always know what is wrong with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids, friends, parents, family, coworkers but never look inside the box for what is so awesome about them?


And that's an Opinion of the Minion

The Choice

Normally I write the Opinion of the Minion and it is something that comes from experiences in my life or from something that I feel strongly about.  Today, I want to do something a little different.  What I have placed below is a story from an e-mail that my uncle sent me overnight.  I found this on my phone when I woke up and it started the morning with tears streaming down the sides of my face.  The story may be complete fiction but it still illustrates something that is so important to me.

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and it's dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued.. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a fatherI also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.  The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.  He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.  Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.  By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.  All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!  Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

Here's something that the story really didn't say but I know from personal experience to be true.  While Shay felt very good that day, I bet the kids on that field felt every bit as good or better than Shay.  They saw an opportunity to be a blessing to someone who could never have done what he did and they took it.  Those are my types of heroes.

As I have said before, we all have opportunities to make a difference in other people's lives.  So instead of looking around for someone to help you today, look around for someone you can bless.  You will be surprised at the opportunity you see.  

That's the Opinion of the Minion

Don't Quit Minion

Through this journey called The Opinion of the Minion, I have had the privilege of putting my opinions out there for people to read.  I continue to be baffled by the support you, the reader, have shown.  Again, I can't say thank you enough.  Today, my opinion is only two words but they are extremely powerful.

Don't Quit!

Don't quit what you ask.  Well I can't answer that question.  Only you know what you are going through.  But I know this.  Tough times don't last, tough people do.  Whatever you are facing in life, you can make it through.  Even if no one believes in you and even though I don't know most of you personally, I do believe in you.  How can you believe in someone you don't really know?  Well that's an interesting question.  I believed in God and His son Jesus before I knew them and my life has never been the same.  Also, sometimes it's easier for me to believe in someone I can't see than it is to believe in someone I know.  So from the bottom of my heart, that I do believe in you.

I want to tell you two stories.  The first is about my friend Al.  Al and I have known each other since middle school (for almost 30 years).  Now Al is one of those guys.  You know the type.  He's the guy that everyone likes.  He would literally give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.  I know because once I asked for a car (we called it the Tank) and he practically gave it to me.  He was a much better friend to me than I was to him growing up.

Now if you are in the mood to run someone into the ground verbally or when you get that real urge to gossip about someone, we all know the people who will pitch in and run others into the ground with us.  Al is NOT one of those people.  I think he would find something nice to say about the devil.  It's just the way he is.  So it shook me to the core several months ago when I found out that he had throat cancer.  We were only 39 at the time he found out and we are both only 40 now.  So Al went through the treatments and we hoped it was over.  But unfortunately, it wasn't.  We recently found out that there was more cancer to deal with and this stuff is really serious.  I won't share the details to protect his privacy but I will tell you that he has a beautiful wife and two great kids.

So last Saturday, I called Al.  After all, I write the Minion and the Lord uses to cheer other people up sometimes.  He uses me to help people feel better and if there was anyone I wanted to feel better, it was Al. When I finally got him on the phone, I was totally shocked at what happened.  I called to tell him to hang in there and try to encourage him but I never got the chance.  He was encouraging me and blessing me.  That's not the way it was supposed to go but Al's attitude floored me.  He said he had too much to live for and that he was planning on seeing his grand kids, etc.  I wanted to tell him, don't quit.  But that thought never entered his mind.  He started telling me stories about the other people he had helped.  Can you believe that!  Here this man is facing a very serious cancer situation and he is more concerned about helping others than what was going on with him.  It was a truly humbling experience.  I hope my heart is as big as Al's one day.

I posted on FaceBook about this a couple of days ago and the response astounded me.  Many of you are praying for Al.  I saw people from literally all over the world who were and I have no way to express my gratitude to you all.

So if you are in a hard place, don't quit.  God can see you through.

But maybe you aren't having it real tough right now.  So you look at this post and say, it really doesn't apply to you.  Not so fast.  Look around you.  There are people who need your encouragement.  If you are emotionally full, find someone to encourage.  Don't be discouraged if they don't receive it immediately.  Just keep at it.

I have a very special friend who is writing a book.  Now I have went so far as to day dream about the time when I will go to this person's book signing.  I can see this person's book published and this person receiving royalties for the book (no it's not my book).  I went as far as telling this person about what I say for them.  Now at first, I don't think this person could see what I saw and I got push back about thinking too big.  But then something amazing started happening.  This person is starting to believe that this will happen.  It's baby steps but it's going forward.  Watching confidence grow in this person is so rewarding.

So take a look around you.  Who needs your help?  Find some way to encourage them.  One day, you will be on the other side of this and need some encouragement yourself.  If you are on the other side, DON'T QUIT.  You can make it through the struggle.  God believes in you and I believe in you.  If you will decide to believe in you that makes three of us!  You can accomplish what you set out to do.

I have said it before and it's true again.  I have blogged myself happy.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Minion's Casual Date

Someone recently asked me how I feel about casual dating.  Now let me start by saying that I don't have much experience with the whole process so I asked my friend DD what she thought because she dated in high school where I did not.  Let's start with what age group.  I think casual dating is probably OK especially when you are young.  Before everyone gets upset with me, I don't think casual sex is right, ever, ever.  That is just plain wrong.  But I think casual dating can make sense.

If you are a teenager, the best thing you can do is talk to your parents about this.  They may not want you to and even though every hormone in your body is screaming to go out with a guy/girl.  The smartest thing you can do is pay attention to your parents and abide by their rules.

That said, I think it's OK while you are in high school and probably even college.  I think this gives you a good opportunity to see what you like in other people.  As you go out with different people, you will see personality traits that you like and ones you don't.  It's OK to see things in someone that you don't like.  Just because you don't like something about a person, doesn't make that thing bad.  It just means it isn't a fit for you.  There's nothing wrong at your age with just going out to have a good time.  However, as you get older, you will find that guys and girls both want to enter into more permanent relationships.  I think you must always be open and honest with the other person.  Just like with anything, communication is extremely important.

However, be careful of using the L word.  And be careful if someone tells you that they love you.  At that young age, you may not know exactly what love is.  I can tell you at 40 years old, my definition of love is much different than it was a 18.

Another thing about casual dating to consider is marriage discussions.  I have seen many high school sweethearts and very few ever got married.  Even fewer had a long lasting marriage.  Now it happens.  I had a friend in high school who's mom was a cheerleader and dad was captain of the football team.  They are still married today.

So as a teen/young person, if you are going to casually date, I think you should start with doing things in groups or at least doing things in public places.  Why?  Because the temptation to start a physical relationship is huge and I that is a very dangerous thing to do.  I don't think it's wrong to kiss at your age (as long as your parents think it is OK) but my biggest concern is that kissing leads to other things which are wrong on a few levels.  As I have already said, casual sex is just plain wrong.

I remember having crushes on people when I was much younger and if you find yourself with a crush on someone, always ask yourself this question.  What is it about that person that I like so much?  What does that person do or say that makes you feel the way you do?  I have asked my son this question and when he realized that he couldn't answer it, his crush on the little girl stopped cold.

Now as you get out of college, I still think casual dating is OK.  There is nothing wrong with going out to have fun.  But my limited experience tells me that most people date after they get out of school to find someone to marry.  Again, I will go back to communication.  If you are dating someone, make sure that you are open and honest with them.  You may be just fine with casual dating but they may not.

Now this is not for everyone but for me, I would not date someone after I determined that there was no possibility of ever marrying them.  Hold up a minute.  I didn't say you had to know within the first week whether they were the one or not.  I'm just saying that when I got to the point that I knew for sure, I would stop dating them.

That's another Opinion of the Minion