Viva Las Vegas

Hi All,

Most of my posts have a message or some point that I try to illustrate.  And generally, I tell a story about something that happened in my life and what I learned from it.

Well today's lesson is going to be a little different.  I want to take a minute to talk about being grateful and thankful.  As I was sitting last night talking with my beautiful girlfriend, D, she said that she never wanted to take me for granted.  It was so sweet and beautiful and I said the same thing.  I am amazed at how quickly I can get used to things.

See when we first started dating, she would tell me sweet things like how nice a guy I was or how amazing I was and thanked me for something almost everyday.  Those sweet comments always touched my heart.  I noticed recently that I was not thankful in the same way.  Those comments use to make me blush and embarrass me a little even though they were always just between us.  She still makes those statements to me almost every day and she is such a blessing in my life.  We both have a deep appreciation for each other as well as a love that continues to deepen. 

So what does all this have to do with Las Vegas?  Well, I found another reason to be thankful.  This past week, I was in Las Vegas for a trade show for my company.  But I noticed that something was off when I got there.  I wasn't depressed or anything.  I just wasn't excited about being there.  I have been to Las Vegas at least 20 times in my career so I have seen a lot of the city.  In times past I always got excited about going out there even though I am not a big gambler, drinker or womanizer.  At first I thought I was just experiencing burn out on the city.

The morning after I got there, D sent me a text telling me to flee temptation from "sin" city.  Now she was just kidding and I know she trusted that I wouldn't do anything wrong and it was just a little funny quip between us and I love that about her.  My response to her was that I didn't need to resist temptation from sin city because the person I wanted to be with was back in Fort Worth (her).  This was why I was a little off when I got there.  For the first time in a long time, I wasn't running away from Fort Worth to get a break from my problems (we all have them right).  Now I love my children and I love being around them but for many years I was a very lonely guy.  I was around people and married but lonely at the same time.

But this trip to Las Vegas made me understand how much I genuinely love that woman and I was looking forward to getting home to be with her.  So let me say - Thank you D, for making my life so much fun and for loving me the way you do.  You are the most remarkable woman I have ever met and I am so grateful that you are in my life.  Life is definitely better with you in it!

So is there a moral to my post today?  Well I didn't think I had one until now.  What am I telling all of us today?  BE THANKFUL!  Yes, I know that we all face hard times but try to find something to be thankful for today.  I will cheer you up.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

What Were You Thinking?

OK, today I want to talk about something that is extremely important - thoughts.  I want to share something that has recently come to light in my life.  My thoughts will dictate where I go for the day. 

Now I have heard people talk about this a lot and the bible even says that we are supposed to cast out bad thoughts but I never really got it until recently.  Now I have tried unsuccessfully to get rid of those bad thoughts for years and for years I thought I wasn't spiritual enough or something because it never worked.  See a bad thought would get in my head and I would start trying to get rid of it but it wouldn't work.

But here's what I recently discovered about those thoughts.  They had a very direct effect on my mood and feelings.  I once had someone tell me that I needed to lead my heart (my emotions) and I can definitely see his point.  Now I am not saying that your emotions are not important or that you shouldn't listen to what you are feeling because that's not true.  But I do want to spend a couple of minutes talking about how your thoughts effect them.

See, if you concentrate on something long enough, it will definitely effect the way you feel.  What's worse is if you meditate on something bad, many times your thoughts will run wild.  You can end up dreading or mentally walking through all kinds of situations that never will actually happen.  Have you ever gotten a piece of bad news and not been in a place where you could do something about it instantly?  When that happens to me, I can get really worked up over nothing. 

I remember just recently I was feeling like things were off.  Now as you may know, dealing with my emotions is a relatively new thing for me as I have only been doing this for a couple of years.  So as I sat there trying to figure out why I was feeling like I was in a funk, I did a mental inventory.  My relationship with my kids was very good.  I was getting them the help they needed.  I was seeing good things happening in my business.  It was growing and I had made several very positive changes that were showing great results on a business that was doing well before we made them.  I was (and still am) dating a great woman.  She is the most amazing person.  I know she loves me deeply because she tells and shows me and I love her very deeply too.

So as I sat there trying to figure out why the funk, I noticed that I felt like something was wrong and it made me feel a little strange.  But when I did a mental inventory, everything was going (and still is) great.  So what was going on?   Here is what I discovered.  When I went to bed at night, if I wasn't careful, I my mind would wander all over the place and most of the time, I was running bad scenarios through my head.  I didn't mean to do this but I didn't stop it from happening either.  Now I know life is full of things that happen that are bad.   The bible even says that we will have trouble.  I also believe that we should plan for certain contingencies in our lives.  That's a smart thing to do.  But I was planning on all kinds of stupid contingencies.  As I planned through each one that was bad, I realized that it had a negative effect on my emotions and thus a negative effect on my mood.

But there is good news!  I figured out how to cast down the thoughts and it was really simple.  You don't make them go away and keep your mind blank.  You fill your mind with good thoughts.  What if I started planning for the good things that God has in store for me?  What if I started thinking about how He wants to bless me and how He has the power to do so?  What if I looked back at some of the sweet texts that my beautiful girlfriend sends me and think about how much she loves me and I love her?  What if I start thinking about all the good things going on at work or with my kids?  I noticed that when I do this, my emotions are good and my spirit lifts.

So what am I telling you?  When you feel your emotions are in a bad place, check yourself.  If there are good reasons for your negative emotions, then don't deny them - deal with them.  But I think you will find that many times we get upset for no good reason.  When that happens make the conscious decision to meditate on good things and not bad ones.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

Are You Drunk?

Hello everyone,

Today I want to tell you about something I really saw in a different light this week.  But before I get to that, I want to roll the clock back several years and tell you a little story.

When I first started working for company I run today, some of the people from our company had to take a trip to Detroit.  Now I was very new to flying and so I was really excited.  But the truth be told, I was new to almost everything related to business.  I was still a wet behind the ears rookie at our business at it showed.

There were four of us on this particular trip.  We were going to see a company that wanted us to work for them and this was our interview process.  It was a chance for us to interview them and vice versa.  But since we were coming to Detroit on our air fare, they paid for our hotel rooms (remember this fact, you will see it again).  My boss was normally in a good mood when we went on these trips and he needed it for this trip.  As we got to the counter, I was the first one in our line.  Now my boss was in the frequent flier program and he had the ability to upgrade to first class from coach.  The attendant asked if I wanted to upgrade since I was in my bosses party and I said, "Sure! Updgrade the whole group!"  Because I wasn't using my money, being a big spender was no problem.  The funny part was that I didn't know it cost money to do the upgrades.  I thought my boss got to do this just because he had flown so much on that airline.  Well $500 later we got on the airplane in first class.  If he was mad about it, he never mentioned it.  Truth be told, he would probably have done it himself.

So he and another of the more seasoned veterans of our company sat a couple of rows behind us while I and another wet behind the ears salesman sat in the bulkhead row.  It was an evening flight and we all had a good time.  In fact, my companion had a very good time.  He drank a bottle of wine during the flight.  Well we are about to start our decent into Detroit when the flight attendant asks him if he wants to take this other bottle with him when we get off the plane.  When my friend finds out he has 30 minutes until we land, he promptly orders the bottle opened and finishes it before we hit the runway in Detroit.

At this point, he is finished himself.  See two bottles of wine over the course of three hours is a lot of wine even for him.  At that point, he could hold his liquor pretty well.  What he didn't factor into the equation was the altitude and how it makes the alcohol even more potent.  While we were standing in line to get our rental car, he has his arm around the guy behind.  This other guy is wearing the ugliest suit I have ever seen.  It is bright yellow and he is wearing a bright yellow hat like the guy from Curious George.  Being the salesman he is, my friend is trying to convince this stranger to come charter a boat the company owed!  He was totally plastered!

So we get to the hotel and start the check in process.  In case you have never stayed at a hotel, this is a typical check in process.  You walk up to the counter, announce who you are and they start the process.  At this point, the people behind the counter ask for your credit card to pay for the room and any other incidental charges.  Unless someone else has already paid for your room!  At one point in our process and I find my friend in a full on argument about paying for his room.  Now he is attempting to pay for it with his driver's license (not a credit card).  When the lady behind the counter explains that the rooms have been paid for by the company we are visiting, he gets upset because he thinks that this little lady is saying he is in capable of handling his financial responsibilities and tries to pay for his room with his YMCA card.  This whole process goes on for a while before we get him convinced that the room is paid for and he is in right standing with the hotel.

That's sort of a funny story right.  Well what would you say if I told you that you have probably done the same thing in your life?  I can already hear people saying, "Not me!  I've never been drunk!" or something else explaining my ridiculous question.  But hold on there for a minute.

See, I bet there is an area of your life where this is a problem.  Have you ever done something wrong in your life and then regretted it?  Have you ever felt bad about something you did and sort of punished yourself for doing it?  I'm pretty sure you have.  But you see, your forgiveness has already been paid in full.  Jesus did it once and for all.  He took care of your hotel bill for good.  I think we go around a lot trying to pay for our own sins with our driver's license or YMCA card when Jesus has already taken care of it.  So if that's you today, quit trying to pay for something that's already paid with something that wouldn't take care of the bill if there was one.  Just accept God's forgiveness.  When you do something wrong, admit it, quit it and forget it!

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

Feelings

Hello everyone.  Today I want to write an opinion on something I know very little about.  So read at your own risk!

Today I want to talk about feelings.  This has been a hard area of my life to deal with.  For years, I didn't want to feel anything because feelings brought with them a lot of hurt and not much joy.  Now I am a business man so I definitely look at things in terms of return on investment and to me, if I let my feelings out then the bad ones definitely outweighed the good ones so why bother.

But then about 18 months ago, through reading a book that a friend of mine asked me to read, all those bottled up feelings came out after 30+ years of holding most of them in.  Let me tell you it was an experience.  I cried for a long time.  Then I just hurt.  Then I was so overcome with emotions that I freaked out a friend of mine by asking her out.  It was quite a mess and I realized now that I liked part of it but I really didn't like another part of it.

I liked feeling things because I finally felt alive.  Yes, it is possible to go through life feeling down and depressed and still be successful on the outside.  I did that and there were times when I had some feeling but I kept them as muted as I possibly could.  Why, because the ups didn't justify the downs.  But I did like all those feelings because at least I was alive. 

Now I have heard people say that we can't trust our feelings and that was easy for me for years because I suppressed all of them I could suppress.  But that statement is actually the point of my writing today.  I finally realized that while I enjoy all these new feelings, I can't rely on my feelings alone to make decisions about my life.  That is probably a "duh" statement for most of you but for me it is a revelation.

There are times in our lives when we want something so bad on the inside that we will do almost anything to get it.  Have you ever wanted to go out with a girl or do something so that she will notice you?  I have.  As a matter of fact, let me tell you a funny story from my time at TCU.

See during my senior year, I had a girlfriend, A.  Now A was a very nice person and I wasn't.  I was very selfish and only wanted what was good for me without really giving any thought to what was good for her.  Eventually, she figured this out and decided it was time to move on.  But since I had never really had a serious girlfriend and wanted to keep one (I wasn't in love with her but I was in love with the idea of being in love.) I decided that I was going to do anything to get her back.

So one night, I went over to her dorm and called her.  A friend of hers was there and they came down to check me out.  I made up some stupid story of being hit in the head and faked a concussion.  Or at least I did my best to fake one.  I have never had one and didn't really know the symptoms of one at the time so I gave it my best guess.  Why?  For sympathy of course.  I guess I hoped that she would take me back.  Well ultimately she took me to my parent's house.  Now my dad who used to be an ambulance driver took one look at me and knew I was faking it.  Needless to say, I didn't get the girl back.

Why did I do such a stupid thing?  My emotions told me to.  Now just today, I realized while having emotions is great, I can't allow myself to be ruled by them

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Ask the Minion

Hello Everyone.

Last week, I asked you to post your questions on Facebook and I told you I would do my best to answer them.  Before I get to the questions, let me give you a couple of things.  First of all, I am not associated with the movie, Despicable Me so any questions regarding those minions, I will decline to answer.  Second, please remember that when I write these posts, they are just my opinions and what I believe the Lord shows me.  I do not have any type of degree or certification counseling so if you have a serious problem, please seek professional help as I don't want to lead you astray.

OK, let's get to the questions.

1.  MB - How do I get a guy like you?  Let me start by saying how flattered I am at the question.  While this may sound like false humility, I really don't consider myself all that special but I am a good guy.  So how do you get a good guy (someone better than me, I hope)?  My first thought is that you have to find one.  So when you are around boys or girls, ask yourself how they make you feel and why?  Are they good to you and do they treat you right?  Do they always strive to do the right thing (even if they aren't perfect)?  Do they make you feel special and are you compatible?  Is there any real attraction between the two of you?  If the answer to these questions is yes then you have found someone.

Now here's the hard part - How do you get them to like you?  The answer is - you can't.  Just be yourself, if they like you for you then great.  If not, then they really aren't the person for you.  If you have to change yourself to be someone else for them to like you, eventually you will go back to being your real self and then you have a problem or you will change so much that you won't like yourself.  So just be you.  Be bold enough to go say hello to them and talk to them and then see what happens.  MB, if you have more questions, please don't hesitate to ask and I will try to answer.

MP - What is the meaning of life?  According to Webster's dictionary one meaning is - the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.  If you mean philosophically, I really don't know.

TTS - Why is life so confusing when it gets hard?  There are a lot of reason for that but I think one thing that happens to me is when life gets hard my emotions tell me one thing and my head tells me something else.  When that happens, sometimes my heart is right, sometimes my head is right.  The only thing I can tell you is to take your decisions to God.  When you get peace from Him about the right decision, then go with it.  I will probably try to expand on this in another post.

JAE & AA - What's your favorite food? - That is a hard question and the answer changes based on the mood I am in at the time.  I like almost all kinds of food.  Over the course of my life, my absolute favorite has probably been pizza.

KL - Why does God allow awful things like abuse, especially child and domestic to occur? The Lord is supposed to be this all-knowing, all-loving, kind, caring God. Yet He lets his children suffer?  KL, I have struggled with this question for many years.  I mean, why did God let the serpent take the blessing in the garden of Eden anyway?  Part of the answer is that we are free will beings and we can choose what we do.  Thing about this - If you could make someone love you and you knew that the only reason they loved you is because you made them, would you make them love you?  I wouldn't because it wouldn't be real love.  I believe that God set a system in place and he expected us to follow that system.  As adults when we don't then there is the risk that we will get hurt.  Now let me say, I can feel pain from thinking about child abuse and I don't know why this happens.  It is so awful and so wrong.  I believe that God's hands are tied in certain places and sometimes he can't interfere but I really don't know why.  Now I can hear some of you saying that God is all powerful and he can do anything.  If that's the case, why did Jesus have to come die for my sins?  KL, I don't feel like I did a good job of answering this question but I hope this helps some.

PC - Who is better - Batman or Superman? - In my book, Superman is better.  Why because he always stood for truth, justice and the American way plus he could fly and was super strong.

FB

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Leadership

Today I want to talk about leadership. 

The thing that really annoys me about this topic is I hear people talk about how to be a leader all the time.  As a matter of fact, four or five years ago, that was the "in" thing to talk about.  People wrote books about it, gave classes about it and in general told you everything you needed to know to become one.

But I really struggled watching people who were leaders that didn't have any people following them.  I saw several people who could tell you what to do and what not to do.  They were "in the know" about all sorts of topics.  In fact, if you needed help with a situation, just bring it up around them and they wouldn't even wait for you to ask, they would just "lead" you out with a lot of advice you didn't request.  Have you ever met people like that?

Well now I want to take a swing at how to be a leader.  Let's start with a good definition.  As I was working out this morning, I was reading a book by Dick Marcinko.  Dick was the leader of a group of Navy Seals in the 1980s and he has written several books about his team.  Now these books are not about his actual team, they are fiction and I would classify them as mental candy.  I don't know that the really expand my mind from reading them.  In the book I am reading now, Mr. Marcinko gave the perfect definition of leadership in two words - follow me.

See I think that is what real leadership is all about.  I am learning as I continue to grow in the places where the Lord put me in a leadership role that this is the crux of how to lead.  In my particular position, I tried to just let things evolve on their own and I basically just sat back and watched a lot of things grow on their own.  I was fortunate that the Lord blessed the work and it did grow but now I understand that I need to lead from the front and provide the vision. 

When I think of leadership, I think of two of my closest friends JC and BL.  They both embody the principal that I am discussing today.  Now let me tell you a couple of things that I learned from both of them while I was at TCU.  First of all, while I was learning these principals from them, I didn't always like them.  They were demanding and they were normally not very tactful in the way they approached getting us to follow them.  But I would have done anything either of them asked because of the way they led. 

See, I followed them.  Why because they were doing what they wanted me to do and they were doing it to such a high level that they did it better than everyone else.  Their challenge was always come up here where I already am and let's get better together.  See, if I wanted their leadership, I only needed to look in front of me because that's where they were.

These two guys embodied what Dick Marcinko said - follow me.  So what am I trying to say today?  If you want people to follow you just start doing what you want people to do.  Quit trying to tell everyone else how they should do something and just live your life as an example of how it should be done.  That's true leadership.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion.