Someone recently asked me how I feel about casual dating. Now let me start by saying that I don't have much experience with the whole process so I asked my friend DD what she thought because she dated in high school where I did not. Let's start with what age group. I think casual dating is probably OK especially when you are young. Before everyone gets upset with me, I don't think casual sex is right, ever, ever. That is just plain wrong. But I think casual dating can make sense.
If you are a teenager, the best thing you can do is talk to your parents about this. They may not want you to and even though every hormone in your body is screaming to go out with a guy/girl. The smartest thing you can do is pay attention to your parents and abide by their rules.
That said, I think it's OK while you are in high school and probably even college. I think this gives you a good opportunity to see what you like in other people. As you go out with different people, you will see personality traits that you like and ones you don't. It's OK to see things in someone that you don't like. Just because you don't like something about a person, doesn't make that thing bad. It just means it isn't a fit for you. There's nothing wrong at your age with just going out to have a good time. However, as you get older, you will find that guys and girls both want to enter into more permanent relationships. I think you must always be open and honest with the other person. Just like with anything, communication is extremely important.
However, be careful of using the L word. And be careful if someone tells you that they love you. At that young age, you may not know exactly what love is. I can tell you at 40 years old, my definition of love is much different than it was a 18.
Another thing about casual dating to consider is marriage discussions. I have seen many high school sweethearts and very few ever got married. Even fewer had a long lasting marriage. Now it happens. I had a friend in high school who's mom was a cheerleader and dad was captain of the football team. They are still married today.
So as a teen/young person, if you are going to casually date, I think you should start with doing things in groups or at least doing things in public places. Why? Because the temptation to start a physical relationship is huge and I that is a very dangerous thing to do. I don't think it's wrong to kiss at your age (as long as your parents think it is OK) but my biggest concern is that kissing leads to other things which are wrong on a few levels. As I have already said, casual sex is just plain wrong.
I remember having crushes on people when I was much younger and if you find yourself with a crush on someone, always ask yourself this question. What is it about that person that I like so much? What does that person do or say that makes you feel the way you do? I have asked my son this question and when he realized that he couldn't answer it, his crush on the little girl stopped cold.
Now as you get out of college, I still think casual dating is OK. There is nothing wrong with going out to have fun. But my limited experience tells me that most people date after they get out of school to find someone to marry. Again, I will go back to communication. If you are dating someone, make sure that you are open and honest with them. You may be just fine with casual dating but they may not.
Now this is not for everyone but for me, I would not date someone after I determined that there was no possibility of ever marrying them. Hold up a minute. I didn't say you had to know within the first week whether they were the one or not. I'm just saying that when I got to the point that I knew for sure, I would stop dating them.
That's another Opinion of the Minion
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Take A Chance on the Minion
Today I want to talk to you about something that can be very hard to do. It's something we want everyone else to do for us but we find it very difficult to do for other people.
In most area's of our lives, we want people to believe in us. We want them to feel like they can risk something for us that will be beneficial to both us and them. It's a risk but we believe that we are good people and the risk is worth it right?
Well let me tell you a story of someone who took a chance on me. As I have previously stated, I own and run a sales company. When I started at this sales company, I was the lowest of the lowest man on the totem pole. There is a guy, CS, who works at our company that started a few weeks before I did and every time we are around someone new he loves to tell them this fact. Now CS moved up from an inside sales position in one of our offices to an outside sales position for our company over the course of a few years and I continued as the office manager. I knew absolutely nothing about outside sales (No comments from the guys at our company about how much I know now please.). We sell engineered mechanical components and have since the company started in 1974.
Over the course of time, my boss came down sick with cancer that ultimately took his life. After he got sick, his judgment was effected and he did some things that weren't fair to CS. At one point, he shipped CS off to Houston under the motive that our largest customer was there so someone should be there. My boss had done a very good job of servicing this customer for many years from our office in Fort Worth and really he was being influenced to send CS to Houston for personal reasons that had no basis in our business. After my company sent CS to Houston, he lived there for several years and serviced our largest account very well. He developed key relationships with the right people and did all the things necessary to strengthen our relationship and position with this company. The only problem was, the company didn't compensate him for this using the scale we did for other people. This bothered CS for many years.
As I stated, my boss was not making the most clear headed decisions during his final months here and I can't blame him. Cancer is a terrible thing and that combined with other things in his personal life led him to make some pretty questionable decisions. Ultimately, our largest supplier was considering firing our company and taking some of the salesmen direct thereby cutting my company out of the loop. Now I was blessed by the Lord to have the opportunity to buy this company from my boss and I got a deal you couldn't refuse. There was a point in time where I told CS about the new deal and how I was about to become the boss. At this point, CS had a decision to make. He could have continued discussions with our largest supplier about taking his territory direct which would have resulted in a pay raise and ultimately that would have been justified based on the way the company had treated him. It would have caused me critical damage to a company that was in trouble after the decisions my boss had made. We might not have even survived. But CS didn't. He told the people from our supplier who were asking him questions that they should wait and see what I did. In effect, he told them to give me a chance to see what I could do.
This was a risk for CS because once I got in place and secure, he would have had little chance to change his mind. But he took a chance on me nevertheless and to this day it has ultimately worked out very well for both of us but it could have been much different.
So to this person, I want to say thank you for taking a chance on me. I will never forget it.
To everyone else, look around you. Who is standing there wanting you to take a chance on them. Is there someone you can help? You may not be the owner of a company, but maybe there is someone in your life who deserves a chance to be your friend. What about the new kid in school? He needs a chance to be a friend and needs you. You are equally important. When was the last time you took a chance on you? When was the last time you stretched for a goal? If you have been hurt in relationships with your parents, brothers, sisters or friends, take a chance on someone again. Is there risk? Yes. But the reward is worth it.
That's another Opinion of the Minion.
In most area's of our lives, we want people to believe in us. We want them to feel like they can risk something for us that will be beneficial to both us and them. It's a risk but we believe that we are good people and the risk is worth it right?
Well let me tell you a story of someone who took a chance on me. As I have previously stated, I own and run a sales company. When I started at this sales company, I was the lowest of the lowest man on the totem pole. There is a guy, CS, who works at our company that started a few weeks before I did and every time we are around someone new he loves to tell them this fact. Now CS moved up from an inside sales position in one of our offices to an outside sales position for our company over the course of a few years and I continued as the office manager. I knew absolutely nothing about outside sales (No comments from the guys at our company about how much I know now please.). We sell engineered mechanical components and have since the company started in 1974.
Over the course of time, my boss came down sick with cancer that ultimately took his life. After he got sick, his judgment was effected and he did some things that weren't fair to CS. At one point, he shipped CS off to Houston under the motive that our largest customer was there so someone should be there. My boss had done a very good job of servicing this customer for many years from our office in Fort Worth and really he was being influenced to send CS to Houston for personal reasons that had no basis in our business. After my company sent CS to Houston, he lived there for several years and serviced our largest account very well. He developed key relationships with the right people and did all the things necessary to strengthen our relationship and position with this company. The only problem was, the company didn't compensate him for this using the scale we did for other people. This bothered CS for many years.
As I stated, my boss was not making the most clear headed decisions during his final months here and I can't blame him. Cancer is a terrible thing and that combined with other things in his personal life led him to make some pretty questionable decisions. Ultimately, our largest supplier was considering firing our company and taking some of the salesmen direct thereby cutting my company out of the loop. Now I was blessed by the Lord to have the opportunity to buy this company from my boss and I got a deal you couldn't refuse. There was a point in time where I told CS about the new deal and how I was about to become the boss. At this point, CS had a decision to make. He could have continued discussions with our largest supplier about taking his territory direct which would have resulted in a pay raise and ultimately that would have been justified based on the way the company had treated him. It would have caused me critical damage to a company that was in trouble after the decisions my boss had made. We might not have even survived. But CS didn't. He told the people from our supplier who were asking him questions that they should wait and see what I did. In effect, he told them to give me a chance to see what I could do.
This was a risk for CS because once I got in place and secure, he would have had little chance to change his mind. But he took a chance on me nevertheless and to this day it has ultimately worked out very well for both of us but it could have been much different.
So to this person, I want to say thank you for taking a chance on me. I will never forget it.
To everyone else, look around you. Who is standing there wanting you to take a chance on them. Is there someone you can help? You may not be the owner of a company, but maybe there is someone in your life who deserves a chance to be your friend. What about the new kid in school? He needs a chance to be a friend and needs you. You are equally important. When was the last time you took a chance on you? When was the last time you stretched for a goal? If you have been hurt in relationships with your parents, brothers, sisters or friends, take a chance on someone again. Is there risk? Yes. But the reward is worth it.
That's another Opinion of the Minion.
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