The Minion's Casual Date

Someone recently asked me how I feel about casual dating.  Now let me start by saying that I don't have much experience with the whole process so I asked my friend DD what she thought because she dated in high school where I did not.  Let's start with what age group.  I think casual dating is probably OK especially when you are young.  Before everyone gets upset with me, I don't think casual sex is right, ever, ever.  That is just plain wrong.  But I think casual dating can make sense.

If you are a teenager, the best thing you can do is talk to your parents about this.  They may not want you to and even though every hormone in your body is screaming to go out with a guy/girl.  The smartest thing you can do is pay attention to your parents and abide by their rules.

That said, I think it's OK while you are in high school and probably even college.  I think this gives you a good opportunity to see what you like in other people.  As you go out with different people, you will see personality traits that you like and ones you don't.  It's OK to see things in someone that you don't like.  Just because you don't like something about a person, doesn't make that thing bad.  It just means it isn't a fit for you.  There's nothing wrong at your age with just going out to have a good time.  However, as you get older, you will find that guys and girls both want to enter into more permanent relationships.  I think you must always be open and honest with the other person.  Just like with anything, communication is extremely important.

However, be careful of using the L word.  And be careful if someone tells you that they love you.  At that young age, you may not know exactly what love is.  I can tell you at 40 years old, my definition of love is much different than it was a 18.

Another thing about casual dating to consider is marriage discussions.  I have seen many high school sweethearts and very few ever got married.  Even fewer had a long lasting marriage.  Now it happens.  I had a friend in high school who's mom was a cheerleader and dad was captain of the football team.  They are still married today.

So as a teen/young person, if you are going to casually date, I think you should start with doing things in groups or at least doing things in public places.  Why?  Because the temptation to start a physical relationship is huge and I that is a very dangerous thing to do.  I don't think it's wrong to kiss at your age (as long as your parents think it is OK) but my biggest concern is that kissing leads to other things which are wrong on a few levels.  As I have already said, casual sex is just plain wrong.

I remember having crushes on people when I was much younger and if you find yourself with a crush on someone, always ask yourself this question.  What is it about that person that I like so much?  What does that person do or say that makes you feel the way you do?  I have asked my son this question and when he realized that he couldn't answer it, his crush on the little girl stopped cold.

Now as you get out of college, I still think casual dating is OK.  There is nothing wrong with going out to have fun.  But my limited experience tells me that most people date after they get out of school to find someone to marry.  Again, I will go back to communication.  If you are dating someone, make sure that you are open and honest with them.  You may be just fine with casual dating but they may not.

Now this is not for everyone but for me, I would not date someone after I determined that there was no possibility of ever marrying them.  Hold up a minute.  I didn't say you had to know within the first week whether they were the one or not.  I'm just saying that when I got to the point that I knew for sure, I would stop dating them.

That's another Opinion of the Minion