Feelings

Hello everyone.  Today I want to write an opinion on something I know very little about.  So read at your own risk!

Today I want to talk about feelings.  This has been a hard area of my life to deal with.  For years, I didn't want to feel anything because feelings brought with them a lot of hurt and not much joy.  Now I am a business man so I definitely look at things in terms of return on investment and to me, if I let my feelings out then the bad ones definitely outweighed the good ones so why bother.

But then about 18 months ago, through reading a book that a friend of mine asked me to read, all those bottled up feelings came out after 30+ years of holding most of them in.  Let me tell you it was an experience.  I cried for a long time.  Then I just hurt.  Then I was so overcome with emotions that I freaked out a friend of mine by asking her out.  It was quite a mess and I realized now that I liked part of it but I really didn't like another part of it.

I liked feeling things because I finally felt alive.  Yes, it is possible to go through life feeling down and depressed and still be successful on the outside.  I did that and there were times when I had some feeling but I kept them as muted as I possibly could.  Why, because the ups didn't justify the downs.  But I did like all those feelings because at least I was alive. 

Now I have heard people say that we can't trust our feelings and that was easy for me for years because I suppressed all of them I could suppress.  But that statement is actually the point of my writing today.  I finally realized that while I enjoy all these new feelings, I can't rely on my feelings alone to make decisions about my life.  That is probably a "duh" statement for most of you but for me it is a revelation.

There are times in our lives when we want something so bad on the inside that we will do almost anything to get it.  Have you ever wanted to go out with a girl or do something so that she will notice you?  I have.  As a matter of fact, let me tell you a funny story from my time at TCU.

See during my senior year, I had a girlfriend, A.  Now A was a very nice person and I wasn't.  I was very selfish and only wanted what was good for me without really giving any thought to what was good for her.  Eventually, she figured this out and decided it was time to move on.  But since I had never really had a serious girlfriend and wanted to keep one (I wasn't in love with her but I was in love with the idea of being in love.) I decided that I was going to do anything to get her back.

So one night, I went over to her dorm and called her.  A friend of hers was there and they came down to check me out.  I made up some stupid story of being hit in the head and faked a concussion.  Or at least I did my best to fake one.  I have never had one and didn't really know the symptoms of one at the time so I gave it my best guess.  Why?  For sympathy of course.  I guess I hoped that she would take me back.  Well ultimately she took me to my parent's house.  Now my dad who used to be an ambulance driver took one look at me and knew I was faking it.  Needless to say, I didn't get the girl back.

Why did I do such a stupid thing?  My emotions told me to.  Now just today, I realized while having emotions is great, I can't allow myself to be ruled by them

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Ask the Minion

Hello Everyone.

Last week, I asked you to post your questions on Facebook and I told you I would do my best to answer them.  Before I get to the questions, let me give you a couple of things.  First of all, I am not associated with the movie, Despicable Me so any questions regarding those minions, I will decline to answer.  Second, please remember that when I write these posts, they are just my opinions and what I believe the Lord shows me.  I do not have any type of degree or certification counseling so if you have a serious problem, please seek professional help as I don't want to lead you astray.

OK, let's get to the questions.

1.  MB - How do I get a guy like you?  Let me start by saying how flattered I am at the question.  While this may sound like false humility, I really don't consider myself all that special but I am a good guy.  So how do you get a good guy (someone better than me, I hope)?  My first thought is that you have to find one.  So when you are around boys or girls, ask yourself how they make you feel and why?  Are they good to you and do they treat you right?  Do they always strive to do the right thing (even if they aren't perfect)?  Do they make you feel special and are you compatible?  Is there any real attraction between the two of you?  If the answer to these questions is yes then you have found someone.

Now here's the hard part - How do you get them to like you?  The answer is - you can't.  Just be yourself, if they like you for you then great.  If not, then they really aren't the person for you.  If you have to change yourself to be someone else for them to like you, eventually you will go back to being your real self and then you have a problem or you will change so much that you won't like yourself.  So just be you.  Be bold enough to go say hello to them and talk to them and then see what happens.  MB, if you have more questions, please don't hesitate to ask and I will try to answer.

MP - What is the meaning of life?  According to Webster's dictionary one meaning is - the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.  If you mean philosophically, I really don't know.

TTS - Why is life so confusing when it gets hard?  There are a lot of reason for that but I think one thing that happens to me is when life gets hard my emotions tell me one thing and my head tells me something else.  When that happens, sometimes my heart is right, sometimes my head is right.  The only thing I can tell you is to take your decisions to God.  When you get peace from Him about the right decision, then go with it.  I will probably try to expand on this in another post.

JAE & AA - What's your favorite food? - That is a hard question and the answer changes based on the mood I am in at the time.  I like almost all kinds of food.  Over the course of my life, my absolute favorite has probably been pizza.

KL - Why does God allow awful things like abuse, especially child and domestic to occur? The Lord is supposed to be this all-knowing, all-loving, kind, caring God. Yet He lets his children suffer?  KL, I have struggled with this question for many years.  I mean, why did God let the serpent take the blessing in the garden of Eden anyway?  Part of the answer is that we are free will beings and we can choose what we do.  Thing about this - If you could make someone love you and you knew that the only reason they loved you is because you made them, would you make them love you?  I wouldn't because it wouldn't be real love.  I believe that God set a system in place and he expected us to follow that system.  As adults when we don't then there is the risk that we will get hurt.  Now let me say, I can feel pain from thinking about child abuse and I don't know why this happens.  It is so awful and so wrong.  I believe that God's hands are tied in certain places and sometimes he can't interfere but I really don't know why.  Now I can hear some of you saying that God is all powerful and he can do anything.  If that's the case, why did Jesus have to come die for my sins?  KL, I don't feel like I did a good job of answering this question but I hope this helps some.

PC - Who is better - Batman or Superman? - In my book, Superman is better.  Why because he always stood for truth, justice and the American way plus he could fly and was super strong.

FB

That's another Opinion of the Minion