OK everyone, today I want to talk about something that is very difficult for me. It is hard for me to let other people bless me. As I have said before, I am divorced and obviously my marriage wasn't a great one or I would still be married. One thing I learned through the process is that I didn't want my ex-wife to do anything for me. Now this is probably just my perception but it always seemed like if I let her do something for me, it would come back to me in a negative way. I really think this was just my perception and in fact she said more than once that I didn't let her do things for me.
I don't want to rehash my divorce but I do want to talk about this whole issue for a few minutes. I am in a relationship now with a remarkable person. I have learned much from her and am thankful for her. One of the things that I struggled with as we started dating was letting her do things for me. This next part may sound conceited but I don't mean it that way. I think I am just stating a fact. I am a good guy and I really like her so it is natural for me to do nice things for her. But for whatever reason, it was not natural for me to let her do much in return. Fortunately, I am finding balance now.
There is one particular instance that really made me understand my problem. I was at her house one day and she decided that she was going to fix us a meal. I sat at the table watching her work on our meal and it made me extremely uncomfortable. To alleviate this, I asked a few times if I could help with something and she very sweetly and politely said no. She just wanted me to sit there and we talked. This made me even more uncomfortable. I really didn't like not helping with some part of the process. I think I felt that if I did some of the work then I would "earn" my right to enjoy dinner.
Now I have done things for her that I would not let her help me do because I wanted to bless her. Again, I don't mean this as bragging. But when the shoe was on the other foot, I was really not interested in just letting her bless me. That was very selfish on my part. Fortunately, I didn't say anything and we had a great meal. How rude would it have been for me to want to bless her but not allow her to bless me back. She is a very giving person and I wanted to stifle her giving. Well I am learning to enjoy being blessed as much as I get to be a blessing now.
Before I get to the main point of this blog, let me say this. We cannot always sit back and "let others bless us" without being a blessing to them. That's called being lazy and probably a little narcissistic. I am not saying that I should sit back and do nothing while she "serves" me. The mere thought of that turns my stomach. What I am telling you is that we need to be balanced in this area.
So let me get to the main point here. Just like I was trying to justify enjoying my meal with my girlfriend, many times we do the same thing with God. Did you know that when you ask God to forgive you, He does it immediately. He doesn't put a tickler in your personal file and then get around to forgiving you next week. That's not the way he works. Here is another thing about forgiveness. We cannot earn it. It is a gift. Yet how many times do we try to earn our forgiveness from the Lord just like I was trying to earn the right to enjoy dinner? Have you ever decided to feel bad about something for several days as a "punishment" for what you did? I hear about people doing this type of thing all the time but that's not the way God looks at it. You should feel sorry when you do something wrong but don't think you can earn your forgiveness.
Here is another thing that I learned. God wants to bless us all the time. He prepared a way for us and has a great plan for each of our lives. And yet we still ignore his plan preferring to do things on our own. I am not against doctors and if I am sick I will go to see one but what about going to God and receiving the gift he already gave us for healing? Why do we feel that we should not let God help us and that we need to do things on our own? God is such a giving God and he loves you very much. Look around today for his help and when you find it receive it. You didn't do anything to earn it, yet he gives you gifts and that's not only OK, it's the way he designed things. So I hope we all can learn from my issue. It's OK to let people do nice things for you (assuming their motives are good) and it's really OK to let the Lord do nice things for you. We can't earn them; we can enjoy them.
That's another Opinion of the Minion
I don't want to rehash my divorce but I do want to talk about this whole issue for a few minutes. I am in a relationship now with a remarkable person. I have learned much from her and am thankful for her. One of the things that I struggled with as we started dating was letting her do things for me. This next part may sound conceited but I don't mean it that way. I think I am just stating a fact. I am a good guy and I really like her so it is natural for me to do nice things for her. But for whatever reason, it was not natural for me to let her do much in return. Fortunately, I am finding balance now.
There is one particular instance that really made me understand my problem. I was at her house one day and she decided that she was going to fix us a meal. I sat at the table watching her work on our meal and it made me extremely uncomfortable. To alleviate this, I asked a few times if I could help with something and she very sweetly and politely said no. She just wanted me to sit there and we talked. This made me even more uncomfortable. I really didn't like not helping with some part of the process. I think I felt that if I did some of the work then I would "earn" my right to enjoy dinner.
Now I have done things for her that I would not let her help me do because I wanted to bless her. Again, I don't mean this as bragging. But when the shoe was on the other foot, I was really not interested in just letting her bless me. That was very selfish on my part. Fortunately, I didn't say anything and we had a great meal. How rude would it have been for me to want to bless her but not allow her to bless me back. She is a very giving person and I wanted to stifle her giving. Well I am learning to enjoy being blessed as much as I get to be a blessing now.
Before I get to the main point of this blog, let me say this. We cannot always sit back and "let others bless us" without being a blessing to them. That's called being lazy and probably a little narcissistic. I am not saying that I should sit back and do nothing while she "serves" me. The mere thought of that turns my stomach. What I am telling you is that we need to be balanced in this area.
So let me get to the main point here. Just like I was trying to justify enjoying my meal with my girlfriend, many times we do the same thing with God. Did you know that when you ask God to forgive you, He does it immediately. He doesn't put a tickler in your personal file and then get around to forgiving you next week. That's not the way he works. Here is another thing about forgiveness. We cannot earn it. It is a gift. Yet how many times do we try to earn our forgiveness from the Lord just like I was trying to earn the right to enjoy dinner? Have you ever decided to feel bad about something for several days as a "punishment" for what you did? I hear about people doing this type of thing all the time but that's not the way God looks at it. You should feel sorry when you do something wrong but don't think you can earn your forgiveness.
Here is another thing that I learned. God wants to bless us all the time. He prepared a way for us and has a great plan for each of our lives. And yet we still ignore his plan preferring to do things on our own. I am not against doctors and if I am sick I will go to see one but what about going to God and receiving the gift he already gave us for healing? Why do we feel that we should not let God help us and that we need to do things on our own? God is such a giving God and he loves you very much. Look around today for his help and when you find it receive it. You didn't do anything to earn it, yet he gives you gifts and that's not only OK, it's the way he designed things. So I hope we all can learn from my issue. It's OK to let people do nice things for you (assuming their motives are good) and it's really OK to let the Lord do nice things for you. We can't earn them; we can enjoy them.
That's another Opinion of the Minion
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