Last time I wrote, we talked about how to define a nice guy. Today I want to deal with the question - Do nice guys finish last? Most of you probably have not read a post that I did about this time last year discussing why women can be so attracted to guys who are not very nice to them. Well today let’s look at this from the other side of the equation.
In high school and in our 20s I think it is very difficult for us to know what exactly we want. We want everyone to like us. We want people to want to hang out with us. We want admiration from our friends. These things are all OK but what this really defines is “being popular.” Unfortunately at that age, we don’t know how to be comfortable with just being us so to make ourselves feel better we put other people down. Now if you are a popular kid then when you put someone else down they are “unpopular” right.
So if you are a girl which group do you want to be associated with? The “popular” crowd or the “unpopular” one? That’s a no brainer right? Well let’s look at the nice guy for a second. Think of the nicest guy you know. Does he typically go around putting other people down? I doubt it. That’s what makes him a nice guy. Is he typically going to be in with the “in” crowd? Many times not. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that if you are popular that you are not a nice guy because that just isn’t true.
But I think girls in high school are attracted to the popular guys because they are “popular.” Nice guys in that group may be seen as finishing last. I mean when a girl says you are a great guy or a nice guy isn’t that the kiss of death in high school? I know I always felt like that was the case. However something interesting has happened since I got out of high school (which was 20+ years ago). I discovered that women’s opinion of what they want change. When the most popular guy in the school struggles to hold a job, doesn’t appreciate her the way he should and never really does things for her, all the sudden her opinion of being with the “popular” guy changes.
Just a side note for everyone struggling with this issue who is in high school today. One day after you graduate high school popularity will mean nothing.
Anyway over the course of time the “nice guy” starts to look much more appealing. What girl doesn’t want to feel special and be with someone who treats her like she is a princess? Does that sound like a fairy tale? Well to some degree in real life it is but I think that we guys can be nice and treat ladies the right way. See guys, here is what I found out. When you are over 30 and a woman tells you that you are a nice guy, that is no longer the kiss of death. In fact, it can be just the opposite because a lot of times that lady is so tired of being with someone who doesn’t treat her right that she is actually longing for a nice guy.
I am dating a truly amazing woman. She is everything I want and so much more. She is elegant, classy, beautiful, funny, smart, intelligent and I could go on for a while. When one of my friends met her, his first comment was how is she even available to date? Another friend told me that I had far “out kicked my coverage.” That’s a football term but it is a high compliment for her. Another friend of mine asked me if she was as pretty on the inside as she was on the outside. On a scale of 1 to 10 she is an 11. And here she is attracted to me! I still find that hard to believe. But I bet you if you asked her what attracted her to me one thing she would probably say is that I am a nice guy.
That’s another Opinion of the Minion.
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