Ask the Minion

Hello everyone.  A couple of weeks ago, I sent a note out on FaceBook asking for your questions.  Below please find the questions and my responses.  Just a side note - In an effort to not waste everyone's time, if the question is about Despicable Me, I will not answer it as I don't know anything about the movie.

MPC - What does it feel like to be called, "minion'? - Well, I named the blog myself so I don't mind being called minion.  I'm just continually grateful for all the people who read it.

FD - Will you give me money? - Unfortunately no.

AN - Are you a girl or a boy? - I'm a boy and my real name is Tommy Oswald.

SS - What's your favorite color? - That's a great question but unfortunately, I really don't have a good answer.  I think I have answered this question blue or black before but I don't know that I have a real favorite.

GM - Do you like eating pie?  - Yes

EF - Do you like cheese? - Yes

MG - Why are you so tiny? - I don't know.  I have wondered that myself from time to time.  I'm only 5' 7".

JT - Why do you have so much swag? - As many of you know I am 40 years old so what is swag?  If you can answer, I will try to answer your original question.

BP - How old are you? - 40

MO - Who is the top minion? - Jesus

JE - What's your real name? - Tommy Oswald

IP - When will the boys at school leave me alone? - I honestly don't know.  Probably not until you are out of school.

WH - There's a guy I know who gets on my nerves a lot.  How should I handle the situation?  I hate to sound cliche but you need to pray about it to get specifically what God would want you to do with this person.  Something that might help - Why does this person get on your nerves?  Do you understand why he or she does what she does?  I know that when I understand why someone acts a certain way, it helps me to deal with it better.

MJ - Why are you called THE MINION if you aren't from Despicable Me? - Good question.  I started this blog just to have a place to write my thoughts.  I never in my wildest dreams imagined that God would take it and do what He has done.  The name came from a friend of mine who was describing two other people I know.  He called them minions.  Several weeks later I was joking about writing this blog with some guys I work with and it just rhymed.  So I called it the Opinion of the Minion.

GC - What's wrong with me? - GC that's a loaded question?  Why do you ask?

NJ - If your blog is not associated with Despicable Me then why do you associate it by calling it the Opinion of the Minion and having a picture from the movie? - I think I answered this above but let me add a note about the picture.  I was looking for pictures of a Minion because FaceBook wanted a picture.  I ran across several pictures that looked like small demons and didn't like them.  When I came across this one it made me laugh so I thought I would give it a try.

AW - What's your middle name? - Wayne

TD - Will Obama get reelected? - I wish I knew because I could make a lot of money betting on it but unfortunately I don't.  TD, let me say thank you for asking.  We have known each other a long time and it's nice to get your question.

OK everyone, that's another round of Ask the Minion.  If I didn't answer one of your questions and it was not a reference to the movie, please ask again and I will certainly try to answer it.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Funny Stories

Ok, we all know this is true but how many of us actually do anything with this.  The Bible says a merry heart doeth good like a medicine.  Lately, I have discovered this fact again.  Lately, I laugh much more.  I enjoy life much more.  I am not sure that my writing is funny but I hope some of these stories will make you laugh.

This past Sunday, I was waking my daughter up so we could get ready to go to church.  She is one of the most beautiful little girls you have ever seen and when she is just waking up she looks like an angel.  So as I was talking to her trying to gently bring her fully awake and she smiled up at me and said, "Dad, do we have to go to church today?"  As gently as I could, I replied, "Yes sweetheart we do."  Her reply - "Well this day is already a disaster."

The other day I took the kids to their favorite donut shop in Saginaw.  Once all of us had our favorites we were sitting eating when a young mother walked in carrying her baby girl.  The little girl was old enough to hold her head up and she was looking over mom's shoulder at us eating our donuts.  My daughter leaned over to me and said, "Dad I was that little once.   Only I was cuter!"

OK this is one for those of you who are older than 30.  One day I was talking with my daughter and I told her not to touch something or she would get cooties.  Her response - "Dad, what's a cootie."

There comes a time in the life of a parent when you have the birds and the bees talk with your children.  My oldest was in 5th grade last year and he saw a film explaining the whole thing.  After the film he had some questions.  So we sat for about an hour and I explained things to him the best I could.  Toward, the end of our conversation my oldest asked, "Dad, when do I have to do this?"  I told him he should wait until he was married.  His response - Whew, that's a relief.  I just hope he keeps that attitude until he is grown.

My middle son was talking to me one day about one of his favorite things at the time - Thomas the Tank Engine.  He told me that he was going to give away a lot of his toys which I thought was really sweet.  He had seen Toy Story 3 and this was what Andy did in the movie.  However, he told me that he was going to keep his train table and give it to his kids to play with.  "Matthew," I asked, "do you know what you have to have before you can have children?"  "No what," he replied.

"A wife," I said.
"OK dad."
"Do you know what you have to have before you can have a wife?"
"No"
"You need to have a girlfriend."
With the most dejected look on his face, he said, "You have go to be kidding me!"

There is a good friend of mine who I go to lunch with regularly.  Now he has a pretty dry sense of humor but he is really funny.  So one day we go to a restaurant in Fort Worth and the hostess asks Ellis if he has a smoking preference.  My friend joking replies, "Marijuana."  She edges a little closer to him and says, "Me too!"  I have never seen him turn so red.

Today I was talking to a guy that works for me.  I told him that I dropped my girlfriend's car off at the local Subaru dealership to have it serviced.  To which he replied, "That's nice.  What kind of car does she drive?"

I hope at least one of these made you laugh a little.  If you have any funny stories, I would love to hear them.  Please let me hear them.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.