As there are several of the readers of this blog who are young people and/or single people, I wanted to write another piece on dating/relationships. This time I want to take a look at titles. There is always that question of what should we call each other. Is he your boyfriend? Are y'all just friends? What does it mean? How do we define exactly what we are? I have come to the conclusion that sometimes fitting things into a neat box doesn't really work. I asked DD about her thoughts on titles and here is what she had to say.
DD - People want to know. Your friends, family, co-workers, etc. want to know what's going on with you and your "love life." But what if you don't even know? What if you're still figuring things out and can't even define it yourself? Then who wants to give a long-winded explanation about what the state of your relationship is or isn't? That's what Facebook deems "it's complicated." Now if you fit neatly into a "box" or an exact title relates to you like single, engaged, or married, it makes the titling process much easier. But life isn't always black and white. Life has plenty of areas of grey--especially in the realm of relationships. But in the grand scheme of things, how important are titles? What's actually important is what's really going on between two people. Are you having a good time with the other person? Does that other person add value to your life? Do they make you laugh? Are you able to enjoy same activities together? Have you both gone through the same experience and can relate to one another? Does the other person make you a better person? Do you feel special when you are with the other person? Are you happier because the other person is in your life? If the answer is yes to some or even most of these questions, isn't that way more important than what you call that person? Your actions and habits will be way more telling to your friends, family members, co-workers, etc. They will know what kind of impact the the other person is making in your life by your actions, attitude, and outlook. They will know the person you spend the most of your time with is your "Number 1." :-)
Thank you DD for your thoughts and I totally agree. Instead of, "Is he my boyfriend?" Ask the question, "Does he treat me in a way that makes me feel special?" If you can't answer a lot of those types of questions, the issue of a relationship should take care of itself.
I would also like to add that I think defining how you want to be treated is a very good thing. If you are dating someone and you think that the two of you are not seeing anyone else, that probably needs to be communicated. In today's society, it's important for him to know if you expect him to open the car door or if you want to open it yourself. Now that is a pretty small thing but if it's something important you should talk about it. There are others. You should expect him to treat you with respect on every level. Also, guys, she should treat you with respect. What does that look like? That's really for you to decide. You should spend time thinking about how you want to be treated instead of you what you want be called.
And that's an Opinion of the Minion
DD - People want to know. Your friends, family, co-workers, etc. want to know what's going on with you and your "love life." But what if you don't even know? What if you're still figuring things out and can't even define it yourself? Then who wants to give a long-winded explanation about what the state of your relationship is or isn't? That's what Facebook deems "it's complicated." Now if you fit neatly into a "box" or an exact title relates to you like single, engaged, or married, it makes the titling process much easier. But life isn't always black and white. Life has plenty of areas of grey--especially in the realm of relationships. But in the grand scheme of things, how important are titles? What's actually important is what's really going on between two people. Are you having a good time with the other person? Does that other person add value to your life? Do they make you laugh? Are you able to enjoy same activities together? Have you both gone through the same experience and can relate to one another? Does the other person make you a better person? Do you feel special when you are with the other person? Are you happier because the other person is in your life? If the answer is yes to some or even most of these questions, isn't that way more important than what you call that person? Your actions and habits will be way more telling to your friends, family members, co-workers, etc. They will know what kind of impact the the other person is making in your life by your actions, attitude, and outlook. They will know the person you spend the most of your time with is your "Number 1." :-)
Thank you DD for your thoughts and I totally agree. Instead of, "Is he my boyfriend?" Ask the question, "Does he treat me in a way that makes me feel special?" If you can't answer a lot of those types of questions, the issue of a relationship should take care of itself.
I would also like to add that I think defining how you want to be treated is a very good thing. If you are dating someone and you think that the two of you are not seeing anyone else, that probably needs to be communicated. In today's society, it's important for him to know if you expect him to open the car door or if you want to open it yourself. Now that is a pretty small thing but if it's something important you should talk about it. There are others. You should expect him to treat you with respect on every level. Also, guys, she should treat you with respect. What does that look like? That's really for you to decide. You should spend time thinking about how you want to be treated instead of you what you want be called.
And that's an Opinion of the Minion
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