Ask the Minion

Hello Everyone,

I decided to do another round of ask the Minion because I have had fun with the first couple so here goes.  Before I start, I think most of you know this but I want to be clear on one thing.  I am in no way associated with the movie Despicable Me.  I just liked the character so I put it on my page.

BA - Why do I call my blog the Opinion of the Minion - Originally, I was really just joking about writing a blog with some of the guys in the office.  While on a trip to Houston in February, a friend of mine asked me where two people were who should have been with us working.  He asked me where the minions were.  I thought it was funny at the time.  When I decided to start writing my own blog, I knew it was basically going to be my opinion and minion just rhymed so the name stuck.  What I didn't see happening was the number of people who would actually read what I write.  It is still very difficult for me to wrap my mind around all the people who are fans of this blog.  Thank you all.

ANH - Have you ever resolved the problem with the anti-gravity serum? - I'm not associated with the movie.

EW - What's my Opinion on gay people - Wow.  This is a loaded question.  First of all, I love people period.  Gay, straight, black, white, green, purple, or orange.  I know some people who are gay and they are really nice people.  However, I think what you are asking me is do I think being gay is right?  The answer is - What I think isn't important.  What the bible says is.  If I look in the bible, it says that same sex relationships like that are wrong.  Please don't send me any hate letters.  I didn't write the book.  I'm just telling you what it says.  Now before you gay bashers start chiming in on how wrong you think homosexuality is, let me tell you something else.  Jesus told people to work on themselves before they got into other people's business.  He said that people are walking around making a big deal out of someone elses' sin that is little while they have massive sin in their lives.  What does that mean, mind your own business.  It's not my place to judge a gay person.  It's not my place to judge anyone.  When they get to heaven, they can take it up with God.  It won't matter to me at that point because I will have plenty of areas where I am wrong to discuss with God.  He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.

RS - Why can't you give me $10? - RS, many people in my life have asked me for money.  You are the first one to do it on the Minion and that's funny.

MMDM - Do you think aliens are real?  If so, why? - I think there is life that is not on earth.  After all, God is a real person and he is in Heaven.  We know that Heaven isn't on earth.  It is a real place and it is somewhere so there must be life outside earth.  I don't know if God put other life forms on other planets though.

SB - Why did you pick that as your profile picture? - When I was setting up my FB page, I needed something to go up as a profile picture and I wanted a picture of a minion because of the name.  I really didn't know what to expect but I knew I didn't want anything that looked scary or bad.  When I googled pictures of a minion, the one I used came up and I liked it.

ZKR - What language do you speak? - I don't know much about the movie characters but I speak English.  I can speak very very little German and even less French.

TM - If you choked a minion for an experiment, what color would it turn? - That's cute.  No clue.

JC Part 1 - Explain to me what the real definition of success is in today's society? - JC is a good personal friend of mine so let me start by asking JC something.  Would you consider me a success?  Why?  The definition of success in society is how much wealth you have and what you have been able to achieve like college degrees, etc.  Unfortunately, that measuring system has nothing to do with success.  Success in life is really measured by the number of lives you touch and how you touch them.  Are you a good dad, friend, husband, wife, mom, etc.?  Do you help people when they are in need if you can?  Do you have good relationships?  Are you trying to make a positive difference in the people's lives around you?  If so, then I would call you a success.  Success is measured in the quality of your relationships not the value of your bank account.

JC Part 2 - What will break the cast system we currently need to overcome today for everyone to be able to thrive and prosper together peacefully? - OK you will definitely not like my answer on this one.  The answer is the second coming of Christ.  The bible says that in this life you will have trouble and that there will be wars and rumors of wars.  So the live together peacefully part won't happen until then.  As far as breaking the caste system, I think people have to wake up and want out of it.  If you look at many people today, you will see apathy.  They simply don't care about what is going on around them enough to make any kind of change.  Let's take politics for example.  If enough people don't like someone, they can get together and have him or her voted out of office.  Does that happen normally?  No because it takes a lot of a four letter word - work.  When I was at my heaviest, I was always telling your brother that I was going to lose weight.  Finally one day he told me that I was a liar.  He said that when I got tired of being fat, I wouldn't be fat anymore.  I think it applies to breaking out of the caste system as well.  People have to get tired of it but most don't.  They are more interested in watching TV than changing things.

IR - What's a question?  -That's funny.

IR - What would you do in case of a Zombie Apocalypse? - No clue. Again, that's funny.

WH - How can you recover from a broken friendship? - This is probably a good question for a completely separate blog.  In short, it takes time to heal from a broken friendship.  They are the hardest because typically it's someone you trust.  To start with, find someplace safe.  Because you are a guy, I will give you a piece of advice that applies to everyone but we guys don't do this much.  Let it hurt.  It's going to and when you feel pain, it's your body and spirit telling you something is wrong.  I tried to shut all painful emotions out of my life for a long time and it made me very callous which is a bad place to be.  Next, own up to anything you did in that relationship that was wrong.  Here's another thing I see a lot today, people are afraid to be wrong.  It's OK to be wrong.  Guess what, there was only one man ever to walk this planet who never made a mistake.  You and I are going to make them.  After that, ask God to forgive you of anything you have done wrong.  These next two can be hard.  First - forgive the other person.  You shouldn't be around them if they are going to continue to hurt you but forgiving them will help you heal.  Second - forgive yourself.  After that, it takes time.

JC - lotto numbers - If I knew, I would have already bought my own ticket.  :-)

SS - What is the name of the minion in your picture? - I don't know.

TK - Do you like pie? - Yup.  My favorite is my grandmother's homemade pecan pie fresh out of the oven with a scoop of ice cream on top.

MS - Why can't minions talk? - I don't know.

BP - Why are they yellow and not, like, purple? - Again I don't know.

EM - Do you think the world will end in 2012? - Probably not but I don't know.  Here's why I say that.  The world will radically change when Jesus comes back the second time but from what I have read in the bible, I will be around for a few years after that.  The bible also says we don't know the day or the hour when Jesus will return.  So if everyone says 2012 then I doubt it will be then.

MS - How can the force of gravity come together from mostly the sun and make the world end in 2012? - No idea.

BA - When are you going to answer all these questions? - Today.  Sorry it took so long.

BM - What's a minion bible story? - It's a story from the bible that I try to tell in my own words.  Several weeks ago a couple of people asked me if I would write them so I thought I would give them a try.

SS - Can you rap anything? - Nope

DP - Are you a glow stick? - Nope

JB - What's your girlfriend's name? - I don't have one yet.

JB - Have you cheated on her and what's your dad's name and your momma's name? - I don't have one and so I can't cheat on her but I wouldn't anyway.  If she isn't the girl that I can't stand to be without then I won't stay with her anyway.  I want the girl that looks fine dressed up but is more beautiful to me in blue jeans and a tee shirt with her hair in a pony tail.  I want the girl that I cannot stand to leave.  Someone that I just need five more minutes looking at her and talking to her.  I want her to be physically attractive certainly but that's not enough.  She has to be attractive as a whole person.  If I find that, there will never be any need to cheat on her.  My parents names are John and Donna.

GD - Republican or Democrat? - Hard to say.  Neither party has a clue about fiscal responsibility, neither party seems really accountable to the American public and I am not convinced that either of them has the best interest of the country at heart.  That said, from what I know in extremely broad terms, the Democratic party tends to want bigger government and that is just a mistake so I typically vote Republican.

JWG - How is cooler:  Pon or Zi? - I don't know.

SDJ - Why are minions yellow? - I don't know.

AR - Why can the minions only say ehhh and ahhhh? - I don't know.

SG - Does this page have a contest? - Sort of.  I like to give out "The Box" awards.  What are they?  I will try to write a post but I like to give out an award to someone who does things for others.  If you know of someone, let me know and we can talk about getting them an award.

AA - How small are the minions in inches? - I don't know.

JH - Who does the voices of the minions in the movie Despicable Me and why do they talk in an alien sort of language? - I don't know

And those are answers from The Minion

My Oldest Son

In keeping with my theme for this month, I want to send another letter.  This one is to my oldest son.  I am so thankful for him.

Dear David,

As I write this, you are going through a hard transition in life.  Some of this is just part of life and some of it is because of your mom and I.  You are adjusting to 6th grade, changes in your attitude toward girls and unfortunately mom and I's divorce.  It is a lot for one kid to handle and I think you are doing such a good job.

As I look back on my how I have done as your father so far, I am a little sad because I know that I could have done much better.  I was just recently that I realized how little I knew about being a Godly father.  It is my whole heart's desire to teach you to be one in the few years we have left before you step out on your own.  I want to prepare you to be a Godly man.  If I can do that, I have succeeded beyond my wildest imagination for you.  The strange thing is I think in spite of all we have done, you are already becoming a very Godly young man.

I am so very proud of you.  Whether you know it or not, you started school when you were three years old because you had speech issues.  This was due to a hearing problem you had as a little tyke.  Now when I was in school kids in those classes were sort of looked down at and made fun of.  When I was in school, those kids barely made it through.  But not you.  You went from needing help with speech to all honors classes.  You are a really brilliant young man.  I also see things in you that I never could be at your age.  I look at you and see courage.

How?  Well, it took courage to ask that girl to the homecoming dance.  I would never, ever have done it because I would have been too afraid.  When we talked afterwards, you told me that your heart was pounding in your chest pretty hard and that even though when you asked her the dance had already passed, she was nice to you with her reply.  Son, I want you to remember that feeling and what you did.  There will be many more opportunities in life for you to feel that way and make a decision.  You are going to be in places where you risk rejection in your life.  It just happens.  But you possess that special quality called courage.  Don't ever change that.  Take risks because if you don't, you won't have rewards.  I know you didn't see it that way then but that's what you did and I am extremely proud of you.

Son, you are growing up so fast and it seems like it will only accelerate from here.  As you get older, I want you to understand something.  I heard a story about the head of the Salvation Army.  You know those guys who stand ringing the bell at Christmas time asking for donations.  Well they take those and use them to help people who need it.  One year, the head of the Salvation Army was going to send a telegram to all his offices around the world.  He wrote it out and then went to send it.  When he got to the telegraph office, he realized that it was too long and he had to cut it down.  So he trimmed it down to one sentence. Again, it was too expensive to send.  He finally trimmed it down to a single word - others.  Son, that's what our life is all about.  We are to help others.  You have to let the Lord show you who and how but always remember that's what life is about.  As you get older, you will see people who define success by how much education and money you have.  I thought the same way for a long time.  Don't get me wrong, money and education are important but not as important as people.  Think of others and ask the Lord to show you who you can help today.

Lastly, I want to talk to you about what you are going through in school today.  I know some of the kids make fun of you.  That really hurts your feelings and quite frankly, it just plain sucks.  When I was in school, kids did the same thing to me.  Grandma and Grandpa did they very best they could but I didn't wear brand name clothes like the rest of the kids and some people made fun of me a lot.  I also got made fun of because I had big ears and I had a lot of pimples.  It really hurt my feelings.  Son, as you go through these times, know that you were not alone.  Guess who else was made fun of and people talked bad about? - Jesus.  I guess that puts us in pretty good company huh.  You may not see it now but this will pass.  Just keep doing the right thing because it's the right thing.

I cannot begin to express how impressed I am with you.  You are smart, handsome, loyal, you love God, you aren't afraid to share your faith, you know how to build stuff, you always try to help your brother and sister, and you are a really respectful young man.  No matter what you do, know that I will always love you.

Love,

Dad

That's another letter from the Minion

The Minion Who Wasn't Good Enough

Today, I want to deal with something we all feel from time to time.  What to do when I don't feel good enough.  Have you ever felt that way?  I normally don't.  If you have read many of my blogs, I don't want you to get the wrong impression.  I am a very confident guy.  I really like myself and in a good way, I am proud of who I am.  I am a good guy.  I help my friends and family when I can and I have accomplished some pretty cool stuff.  I went law school and graduated high in my class, passed the bar, lost 160 pounds one time, etc.  Now I am not saying that to brag but I want you to know that I think well of me.

That said, there are times when I just don't feel like I am good enough.  Have you ever felt that way?  Have you ever felt like no matter what you did, it just wasn't enough.  Have you ever wondered why people only notice the bad stuff you do and not the good stuff?  I mean we all know those people.  You know the ones.  When you tell them you made a 95 on a test, they want to know why you didn't make a 100.  Or how about the ones who always tell you what you should do to better yourself and never tell you the good things that you already do?  If we aren't careful, this can cause us to feel inadequate.  I know.  I have felt that many times and even here recently.  Now the good thing for me is that these feelings don't stay long.  I know what I am worth because the Bible tells me so.  I know that God thinks I am good enough.  He sees the good things I do and he tells me how proud he is of me.  Don't misunderstand this.  I don't think God loves me because of what I do or don't do.  He loves me because He is love.  I can never earn God's love.  That's why there is grace.  He loves me just because.

In a similar way, I can never earn any one's love.  If you are trying to earn some one's love or affection, quit.  It won't work.  They either love you for you or they don't.  And if they don't, then stop wasting time trying to make them.  See today, more and more, people are becoming lovers of themselves.  That's a shame but it was bound to happen.  What do I mean by that?  More and more people are only concerned about themselves and what they want.  When you find someone who actually cares about others, treasure them.  They are becoming more and more rare.  I have a friend like that.  She is always doing nice things for me.  Do you know what that makes me want to do?  It makes me want to do nice things back.  It's not because I want to "even the score."  It's because her kindness makes me want to be kind.

So the question is am I good enough?  Before I can answer that, let me ask another question - Good enough for what?

Am I good enough for people to respect, love and treat me right.  The answer to that is absolutely, positively, unequivocally, without a doubt, YES.  You are good enough just because you are.  You deserve love and respect just because you are you.  There is nothing that can increase or diminish that.

Are there times when I am not good enough to accomplish all that I want to?  Sure.  Remember I told you I wasn't a good football player.  I wasn't good enough to start on the football team.  What should you do if you try something and fail?  Try again and again and again.  Remember, if you get knocked down, get back up.  Keep going.  Sooner or later, you will accomplish your goals if you keep trying.  I have always believed that I can do anything.  Well, except maybe dunk a basketball. ;)

And that's the Opinion of the Minion

Word Up

I want to take a few minutes to talk about words.

Have you ever heard the saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me"?  That couldn't be farther from the truth - words can help or hurt a lot.  Are you ever around someone who has nice things to say about you?  Chances are if that person continually has good things to say about you, you will want to be around them.  If someone is always saying negative things then you will want to stay away from them.

Also, take notice of something.  Words have a cumulative effect.  If I tell you something nice once and then tell you something not nice 100 times, the 100 times far outweighs the once.  The opposite is also true, if I tell you good things regularly and then I have something not so good to say, you might be OK with what I say.

What we say to others is extremely important.  I am involved with a couple of situations right now where I cannot physically be of much help.  All of these situations are tough because I care about the people involved but I can't take charge of the situation.  So let's go back to one of my favorite questions, "What can I do to help?"  I wish I would ask that question more often.

As I was sitting thinking about one of these situations, I was watching re-runs of one of my favorite TV shows, "Lois and Clark."  Shock and surprise, I like Superman.  Well in this particular episode, Lois and Clark (Superman) were both trapped in separate cages that would blow up if Superman tried to save the day.  At this point in the series Lois knows Clark is Superman and they are dating.  Superman tells her with heart wrenching certainty that he wishes he could touch and hold her.  Now while I don't necessarily put much faith in TV shows as far as how to live real life, what Lois said next was inspiring.  She said that she knew how Superman could touch her - with his words.

Whether you believe it or not, that is absolutely the truth.  We do touch people with our words.  Let me give you a couple of examples of people who have touched me with their words.  They may never know how deeply what they said meant but all these things helped build me up.

1.  My daughter, K, told me one time that I should become a certain thing because she saw me practicing a skill that I really enjoy.  I am not very good at it but it really made me feel good.

2.  In my own life, I have been going through a particularly tough situation.  I was talking just yesterday to a certain friend of mine, BT.  Now most people I know say that I am not handling this situation right because they would do it differently.  It's not that I am doing anything wrong.  Most people think I am letting another person use me.  In this case, I know I am doing the right thing and I just wanted someone to see that.  Well, BT told that in all his years of being in the banking business that he had never even heard of anyone doing what I was doing.  He told me that I was doing the right thing and that God would reward me for doing it.  I already know that but it was so nice to hear that from someone.  I certainly don't say any of this to brag about what I am doing.  I want you to see that your words can really make a difference.  When he told me that yesterday, it almost brought me to tears.  I was so touched.

3.  When I first posted "The Box", my friend LM and my cousin AB, both reposed the link on their wall with some really great things to say.  It was very encouraging.  They don't know this but both of them are huge drivers behind the Opinion of the Minion.

4.  There is a particular fan of the Minion, KS, who said something to me that was just astonishing.  She said that after reading the first two of my posts, she was hooked.  She went on to say that I was a wonderful writer and that she looked forward to reading more of what I write.  I don't think of myself as a writer at all.  I have a good friend who is a writer but not me.  I am just putting my thoughts on cyber paper.  This person has a much nicer looking blog than the Opinion of the Minion and has great writing skills of her own.  For her to say that to me, really blessed me.

5. I have another friend, J, who is always saying good things to me and that is one of the reasons I like hanging around with this person.  J has said many nice things.  One particularly felt good.  J said I was polite and sincere.  Those things mean a lot because this world is full of insincere people.  I try to be a very sincere person and it was nice that J saw this inside my box.  J also told me about a time when I was able to use words to help her.  That felt good.

6.  See, we don't really know when we say something good to someone what effect it will have.  Just because you don't see any outward change doesn't mean something isn't changing on the inside.  That same friend of mine, BT, told me a story that I certainly don't remember about how part of my personal testimony changed some one's life.  See, I was telling them what I went through and being an encouragement to them and I never even knew about it until ten years later.



Now let me caution you on a couple of things.

First, never compliment someone by saying something you don't believe.  If you do, it will come across as insincere and have the opposite effect of the one you want.  Remember, if you don't believe it, you can't tell it.  If you think someone is pretty tell them so.  Just this morning I saw a lady in Starbucks that I know who is old enough to be my mom.  I really liked the shirt she was wearing and I told her so.  You should have seen the smile on her face.

If you don't thinks someone is nice don't lie and tell them you do.  But what you had better do is take a few minutes and study them.  If you do, you will find that there is something about them you can compliment that you really believe and they will appreciate it.  Let me challenge you with this.  Try to find one person a day and give them a compliment.  Here is what will happen when you do - If it is sincere, they will appreciate it.  Now here is the surprise part of it - You will feel great for doing it.

Second, and I see this one a lot, let someone compliment you.  My friend J and I have this in common, sometimes we both struggle when someone gives us compliments.  I used to shrug them off and down play them because I had a person in my life at one time who got jealous of them.  I think I finally have J trained on the very profound speech you should give to someone who pays you a compliment.  It's quite lengthy but it is very important so let me go into how to receive a compliment.

A. If someone is sincere, let it make you feel warm inside.  That is what it is supposed to do.  Stop for a split second and just enjoy the fact that someone recognized something great inside you.  Don't try to downplay it.  Just relax and let it bless you.

B.  OK now here is the long part.  How do you respond to someone who says something nice to you?  You have to give them this little speech I prepared for the occasion.  Are you ready?

You say - "Thank You."  Really profound stuff huh.  That's it.  Don't make some excuse why you shouldn't be given the compliment.  Just say thank you.

So let me leave you with a summary thought.  We should all be looking out for ways to use our words to touch people's lives in a positive way.  Many times you won't even know all the good you do.  Then when someone touches you with their words, enjoy it and say thank you.

And that's the Opinion of the Minion

Failure to Communicate

After several posts about serious stuff, I thought I would lighten things up a little.  Let me start by saying that I have three of the greatest children God ever gave anyone.  My oldest is the builder of the family, the middle the teacher, and my daughter – well she is brilliant, beautiful and charismatic so I am not sure what she will do yet.  My daughter K, has been proposed to at least 5 times that I know of and she just completed the first grade.

Well, when K was 4 years old, I had to go to an appointment so I asked my office manager, M, to watch her.  We watched her together several times before when her mother needed us to so I didn’t think anything of it.  I asked M to take her to lunch and when I returned I found M with a perplexed look on his face.  He came into my office to tell me about his conversation with K while they rode back from lunch.  It went something like this.

K – M, my mom has a bigger house than you doesn’t she?

M – Yes
K – M, my mom has a bigger house than you.
K – M, my mom has a bigger house than you.

K – M, my dad has a nicer truck than you doesn’t he?

M – Yes
K – M, my dad has a nicer truck than you.
K – M, my dad has a nicer truck than you.

This isn’t exactly how this went but you get the point.  Needless to say, I was furious.

Let me digress for a minute to say, don’t let anyone judge you (and you shouldn’t judge anyone) based on what you wear, where you live, or what you drive.  You are important because you are you.  You are a very special creation and it is wrong to judge anyone based on how much money they have, how smart they are, or the color of their skin.  All these things are just the wrapping paper on the Box, they don’t have anything to do with what is inside the Box and that is the important stuff.

Back to the story – When this happened, K was in another office watching a video.  I stormed in that room and slammed the door so hard the walls shook.  As my face contorted into that angry face that parents get right before they are going to discipline their children, I was faced with a small problem.  What if K didn’t understand what she did was wrong?  Right then and there, I decided I was going to chew her out but not spank her.  So I spent about 5 minutes letting her know how wrong that type of behavior was and how it very possibly hurt M’s feelings.  My parting statement was, “I’ll tell you one thing young lady, you are going to apologize to M before we leave her today.  Do you understand me?”

Just then, she had the most serene look on her face.  That pitiful one with the puppy dog eyes that says I am so sorry for screwing up.  She looked as beautiful and as sweet as I have ever seen her and she said, “Yes sir!”  She had made a mistake and she was going to fix it.

A little time passes and she comes into my office to talk.  Within a few minutes, M walks in behind her to talk about business and I am still fuming.

“K, do you have something to say to M?” I ask with anger in my voice.

Again through those innocent, sweet little blue eyes, my beautiful, caring, blond headed little angel looks up and says to me, “Yes sir!”  Then she turns to M with that look in her eyes.  It is so innocent, so caring and so pure.  She has seen the error of her ways and is going to make things right and she very softly says,

“M, I’m sorry you have a small house.”

That’s the Opinion of the Minion