Politics or People

Hello Everyone,

In light of the political elections that are coming up in American, I want to take a second to talk about politics but not in the way you might think.

I've noticed that everyone has an opinion about the current political landscape.  Some hate Trump; Some hate Clinton and some hate everyone.  But here's what really doesn't make sense to me.  I see a lot of my friends and family on my personal Facebook page and other places posting about politics.  They all have something to say about what should or shouldn't be done.  They all have something to say about this person's moral character or that person's.  They all have something to say about this person's truthfulness, etc.  Yet not one of the people I have ever talked with has the capability (other than casting 1 vote) to do anything about it.  Furthermore, neither one of the candidates cares about what any of them think on a personal level.  Whoever gets elected is going to do whatever they please regardless of what you and I think.

So I've been asking the Lord what to do about it.  Here's what the Lord showed me.

1.  Whatsoever things are lovely, just, pure and of a good report, mediate on these.  That doesn't mean that you ignore things but it does mean that you shouldn't focus on them.  Focus on God's word.  It will actually make a difference in your life.

2.  Find someone to bless today.  This one is huge.  I can't really influence who gets elected but I can influence the people around me.  Do you know someone who needs encouragement or maybe someone who needs a meal.  The list of needs goes on and on.  Did you know the Bible says that when you give to someone in need, you give to Jesus?  That's really big.

3.  Remove a critical spirit from you.  See I have noticed that before the Lord told me to quit giving the race so much attention that I was getting critical.  Not only was I critical of the people in the election but I started being critical of people around me.  That's no place to live.

So I ask again - Politics or People?  The choice is yours.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

The News

Hi All,

OK before I start, let me say that I mean this first part in jest.  Let's take a look at the news for a few minutes.  As I have stated before, I live in Fort Worth, TX.  Over the past few days, we have had an ice storm that shut down most of the city.  We did need the news to tell us which schools are closed and which businesses are closed and we did watch it for that.  But what we didn't need the news to tell us was what was going on outside.  When I looked out the window, it was white outside.  There was sleet on the ground and ice in the street.  When I looked at my wife's car the windshield was covered and so was the top of my Expedition.  The conclusion I drew from all this was that there was sleet on the ground and that the roads would be bad.

Fortunately for me, I didn't need to look outside because for the entire news broadcast, they went from one person to another showing sleet on the ground.  Each one of them would take their cue and act like they were breaking a story worthy of some type of national news prize.  It would go something like this:

Newscaster:  Now let's go to Frank in downtown Fort Worth.
Frank:  I want our camera man to zoom in on the gutter by the side of the street.  Get a tight shot of the white stuff.  As you can see from our close up, the rain that came down earlier was affected by the drop in temperature.  When the temperature went below 32 degrees, this liquid turned to a solid and it's now sleet!!!

Newscaster:  Thank you Frank for that information.  Now let's go to Sue who is in Berkeley.  Sue, what do you have?
Sue:  What we're looking at here is the total coverage of an entire front yard plus their bushes with sleet!!!

This scene goes on for 30 minutes!  Why is that when we got it the first time?

OK now on a much more serious note, we do need to be careful of the amount of time we watch the news.  Remember news companies get paid to sell stories and for the most part, bad stories sell much better than good ones.  The last time I watched the news, there were three stories about bad things happening to people, the weather, one bad story, sports and ending it all was one bad story.  If you feed yourself on those things, you can start to meditate and focus on these bad stories.  Before you know it, fear can begin to creep into your life and the next thing you know, your eyes are on more of the bad things going on in life than the good things that God can do for you.

I made a decision to spend very very little time watching the news and like one of my favorite preachers said, I missed several crisis that were on that I didn't even know about.  They didn't bother me in the least.  If you are going to spend time watching the news, I suggest you pull out the Bible and see what the news is on your future!

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

Hard Times

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to talk about hard times.  What are they?  Are we supposed to have them?  How do we handle them?

Well, as I have mentioned several times before I didn't like dealing with my emotions so I stuffed them in a box.  In the same way I didn't like dealing with the thought of hard times in life.  I didn't like dealing with hard things either because guess what - They came with negative emotions and I really didn't like that.

So what are hard times?  Well, it's interesting that the definition changes based on your circumstances.  I have helped a couple of kids with homework in the last six months.  Now to them, they were in hard times.  The deadline to turn the homework in was rapidly approaching and there was a lot to do.  Also, because they had never done a couple of these projects, it was even more difficult because sometimes they were unsure of what to do.  Because I have had a lot of school and done a lot of projects (and because we were talking about sixth grade stuff) it didn't really bother me so I didn't consider the situation all that intense.

That makes sense right because I am comparing where I am at 40 years old with where sixth graders are.  But let me tell you this.  I have also noticed that there are certainly challenges that come with being a parent that seem very hard to me.  Now my girlfriend, D, who is an amazing parent has already been through some of what I am going through and while she encourages me and tells me that I am doing a great job, some of these things seem easier because she understands them already.

Of course there are other circumstances that most of us adults either have faced or face now like financial hard times or the loss of a relationship.  All these things hurt.

Now I am sure this is obvious to you but I really didn't understand that all of these things are normal and a part of life.  Even Jesus said, "In this life you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."  That was a revelation for me.  I hated conflict and trouble and did everything I could to avoid it.  I even buried my head in the sand a few times and tried to pretend that hard times didn't really exist.  I know you have never been as stupid as I was and I am glad. 

Very recently I went on a trip that was very hard for me.  The people I was with caused me a certain amount of challenges and I was definitely emotionally overcome.  Now nothing really bad happened but I didn't know how to handle several situations and there seemed to always be a situation to handle.  But, by God's grace, I was able to handle each one and with his help, I was told that I did a very good job.  So what do we do when hard times come?  The answer is pretty easy - Face the hard time and overcome it.  Like Jesus said, He has overcome the world. 

I heard someone say the definition of courageous is not that you are never scared.  The definition of being courageous is being afraid and doing what needs to be done anyway.  This week, I got an opportunity to face something that really had me worried.  Fortunately for me, the other person in this situation is amazing and we were able to work through what we needed to.  But one of the things that made me feel good about myself is that I didn't bury my head in the sand - I faced the hard time head on and with the Lord's help, we overcame it. 

Guess what - Every time you face something hard and overcome it, you grow.  So don't worry about hard times.  They will come.  But with God's help you can overcome everyone.  I will leave you with this - when you face a hard time and overcome it, the next time you see it, it won't seem very hard.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Go To the Source

Hello Everyone,

I haven't posted in a long time and I apologize for that.  I made a comment several months ago about being bored and I have been busy since.

Over the last 18 hours I have been involved in a situation that prompted this post.  As the situation that I have watched would be extremely embarrassing to the people involved, I will not mention anything about this particular one.  I will say this though - I have no condemnation for anyone involved.  If you are reading this and you are involved, you know who you are.

So let me start with one simple question.  What do you do if you hear something bad about someone?  We all know people who like to gossip.  There are also people who tell you things just because they think you should know for some potential benefit to you - Read that just another excuse to gossip.  Well, here are my thoughts on what to do and not do.

1.  Don't go telling other people about a situation unless they need to be involved.  You don't need to tell your best friend (boys or girls) about something that you heard bad about someone else.  All you are doing is spreading the situation to more people and probably hurting some one's reputation in the process.  Did you know that the bible says that we are to love our neighbor like we love ourselves?  How do we do that?  Well one way we do that is by not running around telling people about all the bad things we have heard about other people.  See the bible also says love covers a lot of sins.  Now I am not telling you to keep your mouth shut if you know someone is in danger or has been abused.  In that case, go to someone who is in authority (your parents, a teacher you know or even the police if it is really serious) and tell them.  But your best girl friend or best buddy really doesn't need to know.

2.  Don't assume that just because you heard some rumor that it is true.  I believe it was in the 1950s when some guy on a radio in New York City started a rumor on the radio about alien invasions that caused a big panic.  It was just a joke but a lot of people got shook up over it.  Also, I remember when I was in high school and the boys started talking about sex.  I can tell you that 95% of what they said turned out to be untrue.  Be careful not to judge someone just because you heard a rumor about them.  That is a very dangerous thing to do and it can hurt people who don't deserve it.

3.  If it really doesn't concern you then just forget it and keep on moving.  Most of the time, when we hear things about our friends, we really don't need to know about it anyway.  If someone walks up to tell you something bad about your friend, you can choose not to listen at all.  After all, will it make you a better person to hear the rumor?  Will it help you be helpful to your friend?  Maybe but most of the time it won't.

4.  Lastly, if you must know something about the rumor or the story you were told, go to the source.  As many of you know, I have been divorced for about a year now.  Well, before I got divorced someone started a rumor that I was having an affair on my wife and it was completely untrue.  I never did anything like that.  This particular rumor got back to someone I am very close to and instead of spreading the rumor or calling someone else to verify what she heard (read that still just spreading the rumor), she called me.  It was a very loving act and I appreciate it to this day.  She will always have a special place in my heart.

So let me conclude with this.  Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will kill you.  Be careful what you say and hear about other people.  It is best just to let rumors drop and die when you hear them but if you must discuss it with someone, call the source and get it straight.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Friends vs. Family Part 2

Hello Everyone,

Below please find part two of my sister-in-law's thoughts on why relationships with our friends can be more successful than relationships with our family.

CO-
This brings me to the topic of family. I believe that family should be respected and viewed on the same level we would give to a close friend to be successful.  However, we usually fail for several reasons.  Family is something we do not choose. We are born into our family. We are usually able to choose our spouse therefore to some degree we also choose their family. Unfortunately most, usually do not consider the family they will be marrying into. At the risk of sounding tacky I would like to say that we get stuck with the family we have. Family is harder work than any friendship will ever be. I think this is because we can choose our friends and enjoy them, but family tends to operate differently. We are supposed to love our families despite any characteristics they have that become unappealing to us. We do not get to out grow them, or let them fall away when we suddenly have nothing in common with them any longer. Our brother will always be our brother. Our sister will always be our sister, and our mother will always be our mother, and hopefully, done right, our spouse will always be our spouse.

In most cases I think families are more complicated and harder to get along with. I do believe our families love us, or at least the family that we are connected to by blood loves us. However, I also think that our family tends to forget that we are people too. Rather, they see us as the daughter, the son, the niece, the nephew, or the grandchild. I know this sounds like I am reaching and stretching this to make a point, but I do believe there is a difference. It is as though there is a chain of command and everyone has a title over a name. It is set up in the family from the beginning of our lives that our authority is our parent, and their authority is there parents, and so on. There are other authorities over us though they are lesser because what mom and dad say comes first. We are taught to listen to our aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I am not saying this is a bad thing. What I am saying is that as we mature and become adults, our families do not let loose of their authoritative roles in our lives. Rather than letting us go to live our life, make our mistakes, and be happy for our successes they try to continue to control us. The sad thing is that as adults if we do not do things the way they think we should then suddenly we are not honoring them. I have found that manipulation runs rampant in families and I have yet to meet a family that does not do this to some degree. Families set up expectations of us that are not achievable. It is kind of like a snare set up for failure and I do not even think they are aware of the fact that they do it. Sometimes they demand more from us than we are able to give. Our families haven't any qualms about being judgmental toward us and often they lack understanding, and have no interest in gaining any because they have already decided they know what is going on and how to fix it, when they probably don't.
 
To Be Continued......
The Minion

 

My Oldest Son

In keeping with my theme for this month, I want to send another letter.  This one is to my oldest son.  I am so thankful for him.

Dear David,

As I write this, you are going through a hard transition in life.  Some of this is just part of life and some of it is because of your mom and I.  You are adjusting to 6th grade, changes in your attitude toward girls and unfortunately mom and I's divorce.  It is a lot for one kid to handle and I think you are doing such a good job.

As I look back on my how I have done as your father so far, I am a little sad because I know that I could have done much better.  I was just recently that I realized how little I knew about being a Godly father.  It is my whole heart's desire to teach you to be one in the few years we have left before you step out on your own.  I want to prepare you to be a Godly man.  If I can do that, I have succeeded beyond my wildest imagination for you.  The strange thing is I think in spite of all we have done, you are already becoming a very Godly young man.

I am so very proud of you.  Whether you know it or not, you started school when you were three years old because you had speech issues.  This was due to a hearing problem you had as a little tyke.  Now when I was in school kids in those classes were sort of looked down at and made fun of.  When I was in school, those kids barely made it through.  But not you.  You went from needing help with speech to all honors classes.  You are a really brilliant young man.  I also see things in you that I never could be at your age.  I look at you and see courage.

How?  Well, it took courage to ask that girl to the homecoming dance.  I would never, ever have done it because I would have been too afraid.  When we talked afterwards, you told me that your heart was pounding in your chest pretty hard and that even though when you asked her the dance had already passed, she was nice to you with her reply.  Son, I want you to remember that feeling and what you did.  There will be many more opportunities in life for you to feel that way and make a decision.  You are going to be in places where you risk rejection in your life.  It just happens.  But you possess that special quality called courage.  Don't ever change that.  Take risks because if you don't, you won't have rewards.  I know you didn't see it that way then but that's what you did and I am extremely proud of you.

Son, you are growing up so fast and it seems like it will only accelerate from here.  As you get older, I want you to understand something.  I heard a story about the head of the Salvation Army.  You know those guys who stand ringing the bell at Christmas time asking for donations.  Well they take those and use them to help people who need it.  One year, the head of the Salvation Army was going to send a telegram to all his offices around the world.  He wrote it out and then went to send it.  When he got to the telegraph office, he realized that it was too long and he had to cut it down.  So he trimmed it down to one sentence. Again, it was too expensive to send.  He finally trimmed it down to a single word - others.  Son, that's what our life is all about.  We are to help others.  You have to let the Lord show you who and how but always remember that's what life is about.  As you get older, you will see people who define success by how much education and money you have.  I thought the same way for a long time.  Don't get me wrong, money and education are important but not as important as people.  Think of others and ask the Lord to show you who you can help today.

Lastly, I want to talk to you about what you are going through in school today.  I know some of the kids make fun of you.  That really hurts your feelings and quite frankly, it just plain sucks.  When I was in school, kids did the same thing to me.  Grandma and Grandpa did they very best they could but I didn't wear brand name clothes like the rest of the kids and some people made fun of me a lot.  I also got made fun of because I had big ears and I had a lot of pimples.  It really hurt my feelings.  Son, as you go through these times, know that you were not alone.  Guess who else was made fun of and people talked bad about? - Jesus.  I guess that puts us in pretty good company huh.  You may not see it now but this will pass.  Just keep doing the right thing because it's the right thing.

I cannot begin to express how impressed I am with you.  You are smart, handsome, loyal, you love God, you aren't afraid to share your faith, you know how to build stuff, you always try to help your brother and sister, and you are a really respectful young man.  No matter what you do, know that I will always love you.

Love,

Dad

That's another letter from the Minion

Drama, Drama, Drama

Someone asked me to write about why girls have so much drama.  I will try to do this now.  Before I start though, I need to be clear that drama comes from both girls and boys.  Boys, we like to think we are drama free but that's just not really true now is it?

There are two types of drama.  The drama you create and the drama that falls in your lap.  I run a small company in Texas most days and I can tell you that there is a certain amount of drama that falls in my lap every day.  I didn't go looking for it, it just seemed to find me.  Now this drama is usually created by someone else.  So from their perspective, this would be the second type of drama.  The drama that they create.  Regardless of who creates it, now there is a certain situation that needs to be dealt with.  So what do we do next?  To answer that question we have to ask another one first.  How concerned are you about the person that created the drama?  Are you more concerned about yourself or them?  Am I leading you to answer this question a certain way?  I certainly hope so.

So let's answer this question both ways.  Let's say that I don't care one flip about this person.  I only care about what is best for me and what I need.  What the other person needs isn't really important.  I don't care whether they get their need met as long as I get what I want.  Well if you answer the question like this, then you really need help.  We weren't put here just to get everything we want.  We were put here to help others.  If you are in this category, when was the last time you stopped to help someone else?  But if this is you then you are either going to ignore the person creating the drama all together or do something to make their life harder with your response to them.

Now let's consider the other side of the coin.  What if someone comes to you with drama and you really want to help.  Before you wade off into the middle of the drama, understand this.  Most drama very emotional to the person in the middle of it.  Now as I have said many times, emotions signal needs.  So let's look a little closer at the girl or the boy with the drama.  They are emotional so what do they really need?  Sometimes their drama is a legitimate need all its own.  Like how to pay a bill or how to get medical help, etc.  Sometimes it's not really that big a deal.  But, it is a big deal to the person in the middle of it.  Most of the time that a person starts drama, I think what they are really saying is, "I need attention."  They are crying out.  Just like a kid who feels that no one is paying attention to him will do something to get in trouble.  It may not be the right type of attention but it is some attention.

I think when we grow up, we change this approach slightly.  When you see someone overly dramatic, they are just asking for someone to pay attention to them.  They want someone to notice them and to understand what they are going through.  So let's get to one of my favorite questions, "How can I help?"  Well, sometimes I can help by just listening.

There are times when a person will come in my office or call me and they just need to talk to someone that they know cares.  Now there are mostly men in my office so we would never tell you that and we may not even know that.  But sometimes we just need to know that there is someone else out there listening.  Recently in my personal life, I have been through a lot of not nice stuff.  It has been very frustrating and I felt very alone for a long time.  During those times, I talked to people I worked with and I blew some stuff completely out of proportion.  I made the drama and I made it big.  In one instance, I acted like a complete idiot for about a week.  John Wayne said, "Life is hard but life is harder when you are stupid."  I was certainly making my life harder than it should have been.  But the point is my friends were there to listen through the whole thing.  As completely ridiculous as I looked and acted, they were there for me and they never told me how stupid I was acting.

Guess what, I have done the same thing for others on many occasions.  They have brought me stuff that I thought they were blowing all out of proportion and I just listened and tried to help.  Now I am not saying that you have to let your own life be totally consumed with some one's drama but I am saying that if you are a good friend, you will learn to listen to them and empathize with them a little.  Give them a little attention.  Most of the time, that is what they really want.  Guess what, if you look at your own life, you probably create a little unnecessary drama of your own.  Now don't go all defensive on me, we all do it.  But to us, it isn't drama, it's something very critical to life.

So I guess the choice is yours are you a friend or not?

That's the Opinion of the Minion