Today, I want to talk to you about dreams. How often do you sit and dream? I do it all the time. I day dream about all kinds of situations in my life. I have visions of what a right relationship would look like and see myself there. I think dreaming is something important that we have missed in our lives. I was in church on Sunday and heard this message. Then I went back to a totally different church and heard the same message about vision and dreams on Sunday night. Do you think God was trying to tell me something? In the last couple of weeks I have had two very strong revelations from the bible about dreams. So here we go.
We all have dreams. As I have said before, when I was in high school, I dreamed of going to Annapolis and then on to fly F-14s for the US Navy. Well that one didn't come to pass but that's OK. Top Gun is still one of my favorite movies of all time. I love the end because Tom Cruise overcomes tragedy and saves the day. It's my kind of movie.
I also dreamed about going to law school one day and becoming Perry Mason. I was going to argue cases and be the greatest lawyer ever to walk the planet. Well that partly happened. I did graduate law school and technically I am a lawyer but I don't practice much. If you have ever had me as your lawyer, you know I am no Perry Mason. ;) But I am happy with me and I am glad I went to school. When I told people about my dream some of them said I would never make it. Some said it to my face and some said it behind my back but that's OK. That dream was working inside me and guess what, I made it.
Now here is a dream that I am going to share with you that I have never made public. Only a few people know about this one but I want to share it with you now. For years I dreamed of being the President of the United States. I could see myself in the Oval Office. I could see myself making right decisions and governing wisely. I read scriptures about how when the righteous rule the people rejoice. Many people say they wouldn't want the job but I wanted to be the go to guy. I wanted to see if I had what it took. If you come into my office you will find many books about presidents, the white house and being president. It was definitely one of my long term goals. Today, I don't really want to be President anymore. Why you ask, because it isn't my calling. I am beginning to wake up to what the Lord has called me to do and I know that isn't it.
So what I have been doing the last couple of days is working on my dreams. I am writing them down and beginning to think about them. Many studies show that when we write down our dreams and think about them regularly, this process acts like a magnet drawing us closer and closer to our dreams and goals. That's pretty cool stuff huh.
See, I think it is important to dream big. When I dreamed about losing weight, I would see myself skinny. I would see myself doing all kinds of things. One thing that really embarrassed me about being big was I couldn't water ski which was big with my family. But I would see myself being skinny and attractive. I started confessing everyday that I weighed 205 pounds. I did this for over a year without dropping a single pound but that dream was resonating inside my spirit every day. That dream was working inside me and pointing me the right direction. Then one day, that dream popped in my spirit and the transformation began. But guess what, I didn't stop at 205. I went all the way down to 185. See when we dare to dream and then keep those dreams in front of us, amazing things can happen.
Now let me tie this to a place you may not really understand. God. Guess what, he has dreams. He has dreams about you. The bible says that He has plans for you. Plans for your good. It says in another place that he knew you before the foundation of the world. Since before the world was founded he was dreaming about you. That's pretty far out there stuff huh.
Well I want you to get a picture of this. Think for a minute about that perfect guy or that perfect girl or maybe a car, etc. Picture him/her/it in your mind. Think for a second about whatever your goal is. See yourself in a right relationship (See the Box). See yourself succeeding. How does that feel? Does it touch a nerve in the core of your being? Does it release a warm feeling inside you? This might blow your mind but the Lord sits around dreaming of you the same way. He pictures you in his mind successful. He pictures you in his mind with the right person. He sees you enjoying yourself and it brings great pleasure to His soul. He gets excited about His dreams for your life. He has a good life planned for you. He sees you and He spending time together doing things that you love.
And that's another Opinion of the Minion.
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
A Minion's Hope
Today I want to talk to you about hope. I belive the single most devistating thing that can happen in your life is to loose hope. Hope is one of the most important parts of our lives but how often do we hear someone say, "Don't get your hopes up." That is one the of the dumbest things I have ever heard. I want you to get your hope sky high. OK, I can immediately hear people saying, "He has flipped out. I hoped that this would happen or that would happen and it didn't. When I hoped for that situation to work out in my life and it didn't, that hurt me deeply and I would have been better of not to have gotten my hopes up at all."
Let me say, I certainly understand your point. I have done the same thing. I got my hopes up that a certain area of my life would change and it didn't. A few months ago, I got my hopes up about a certain relationship and that didn't work. I used to get my hopes up all the time that I could go on a diet and loose weight. I used to get my hopes up that I would be in a great relationship with a woman and that didn't work. Even recently, I got my hopes up about a situation that didn't work out like I wanted. So I should have just let it go. I should have not hoped at all. Think about it. Wouldn't it have been better if I hadn't hoped. If I had just expected failure. That way I wouldn't have felt the disappointment and in some cases pain of the failure. I can see what you mean by your question above. Maybe you were even right.
Well, not so fast. The critical question about hope is in what or where do I place it? If I place my hope in you that you will do something or you place your hope in me that I will do something, at some point we will both be disappointed. Why? Because we aren't perfect. Also, sometimes we put our hope in a person who isn't capable of doing what we want anyway. Think of it this way, if you put your hope in me that I will be able to dunk a basketball. I can 100% gaurantee you that you will be disappointed. I am 5'7" tall and my verticle jump won't get me there. That's not really important in the grand scheme of life but what if you put your hope in a friend or relationship to make you happy?
What if you looked to a girl or guy as the thing that was going to make you happy in life? That other person is going to make a mistake somewhere and disappoint you. It will probably hurt when they do. See, they weren't made perfect so they are not capable of being perfect. Everyone is going to make mistakes and when the mistake involves you, it is going to hurt. "OK," you say, "if you want me to have hope and hope is so critical to my life, who or what do I put my hope in?"
Some of you who read this are ahead of me and know exactly where I am going. That makes me smile. I will tell you where I put my hope. I put my hope in God. He isn't just a train ticket to Heaven. He is what keeps me going here. I know that he cannot fail. If I put my trust in him, there is no area we cannot conquer. I desire with all my heart to have a godly mate. I want a woman I can cherish, protect, care for, and grow with. I want one that I can talk to. You know my personal feelings from reading the Box. So when I get around someone who I think is a good candidate, do I put my hope in her that she will be what I am seeking? Nope, I put my trust in God. He said He would provide all my needs so I put my hope in Him that He will provide what I need. I don't hope in the woman, I hope in God. When I do this, there is such great peace because no matter what comes up, my hope is in God. If I have a good night or bad, it doesn't matter because my hope stays where it belongs. Guess what, as I have done this, I have seen deliverance and help from God in every area where I put this to work.
Recently on Facebook there was a person who stated that they were Wiccan (sp?). My response was, Why? I certainly respect their right to be Wiccan. That wasn't really what I was asking. Then someone else posted that this person was Wiccan because they chose their religion just like I did. Well I appreciate their response as I do believe they were honestly trying to help me out but what I wanted to know is why did you chose to be Wiccan? I can tell you why I choose to be a Christian. It's because God still helps me everyday. It's because when I call on Him, He answers. It's because when things seem like they are coming apart, I can go to Him and He makes me to be at peace even though it looks like I am in deep trouble. When I place my hope in Him, it centers and grounds me. All of the sudden, my world turns right side up and things look good again.
And that's another Opinion of the Minion
Let me say, I certainly understand your point. I have done the same thing. I got my hopes up that a certain area of my life would change and it didn't. A few months ago, I got my hopes up about a certain relationship and that didn't work. I used to get my hopes up all the time that I could go on a diet and loose weight. I used to get my hopes up that I would be in a great relationship with a woman and that didn't work. Even recently, I got my hopes up about a situation that didn't work out like I wanted. So I should have just let it go. I should have not hoped at all. Think about it. Wouldn't it have been better if I hadn't hoped. If I had just expected failure. That way I wouldn't have felt the disappointment and in some cases pain of the failure. I can see what you mean by your question above. Maybe you were even right.
Well, not so fast. The critical question about hope is in what or where do I place it? If I place my hope in you that you will do something or you place your hope in me that I will do something, at some point we will both be disappointed. Why? Because we aren't perfect. Also, sometimes we put our hope in a person who isn't capable of doing what we want anyway. Think of it this way, if you put your hope in me that I will be able to dunk a basketball. I can 100% gaurantee you that you will be disappointed. I am 5'7" tall and my verticle jump won't get me there. That's not really important in the grand scheme of life but what if you put your hope in a friend or relationship to make you happy?
What if you looked to a girl or guy as the thing that was going to make you happy in life? That other person is going to make a mistake somewhere and disappoint you. It will probably hurt when they do. See, they weren't made perfect so they are not capable of being perfect. Everyone is going to make mistakes and when the mistake involves you, it is going to hurt. "OK," you say, "if you want me to have hope and hope is so critical to my life, who or what do I put my hope in?"
Some of you who read this are ahead of me and know exactly where I am going. That makes me smile. I will tell you where I put my hope. I put my hope in God. He isn't just a train ticket to Heaven. He is what keeps me going here. I know that he cannot fail. If I put my trust in him, there is no area we cannot conquer. I desire with all my heart to have a godly mate. I want a woman I can cherish, protect, care for, and grow with. I want one that I can talk to. You know my personal feelings from reading the Box. So when I get around someone who I think is a good candidate, do I put my hope in her that she will be what I am seeking? Nope, I put my trust in God. He said He would provide all my needs so I put my hope in Him that He will provide what I need. I don't hope in the woman, I hope in God. When I do this, there is such great peace because no matter what comes up, my hope is in God. If I have a good night or bad, it doesn't matter because my hope stays where it belongs. Guess what, as I have done this, I have seen deliverance and help from God in every area where I put this to work.
Recently on Facebook there was a person who stated that they were Wiccan (sp?). My response was, Why? I certainly respect their right to be Wiccan. That wasn't really what I was asking. Then someone else posted that this person was Wiccan because they chose their religion just like I did. Well I appreciate their response as I do believe they were honestly trying to help me out but what I wanted to know is why did you chose to be Wiccan? I can tell you why I choose to be a Christian. It's because God still helps me everyday. It's because when I call on Him, He answers. It's because when things seem like they are coming apart, I can go to Him and He makes me to be at peace even though it looks like I am in deep trouble. When I place my hope in Him, it centers and grounds me. All of the sudden, my world turns right side up and things look good again.
And that's another Opinion of the Minion
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
A 350 Pound Minion
One thing I believe in doing is being honest with yourself. In one of my blogs, I talked about my greatest failure. Today, I want to share something that I hope will inspire someone who needs it. While, I guess I would have to say that this is a success in my life, I respectfully submit this not as bragging but in the hope that someone else will be inspired to make themselves better. I have a very dear friend who told me that this story inspired her and I cannot tell you how much that touched my heart.
It's funny because it seems easier to talk about the things that I have done wrong and I am almost ashamed to talk about the things I have done right. Why is that? I think it is because I have been taught that pride is a bad thing. There are some forms of pride that are very bad but I think it is OK to talk about things that go right in your life. That's part of being honest with you. See we all know all of our faults. I can catalog mine and cross reference them. And when we are feeling down, then we want to spend a lot of time working our self over about them which isn't good. But what about the other side of the coin? What about our strenghts?
Well, as you may have guessed the picture above is of my dad, my son and me. Doesn't look much like the picture to the right of the blog does it. Well it's really me. At my heaviest, I was 350 pounds. I am 67" tall and I was 58" around. I used to tell people that I was in shape because round is a shape! Nobody bought. I wore a 5X shirt. I made jokes about my weight all the time but the reality of it was that it hurt to be this big. It hurt physically but it also hurt emotionally. If you are big, I understand completely where you are because I was there myself.
Have you ever ridden on an airplane? Well you know when you sit down the flight attendant does a demonstration showing you how to work the seat belt? That thing she holds up can be used as a seat extension for people who cannot fit the seat belt around their waist. I was one of those people and always had to ask for it. It was embarrassing and I was ashamed of myself. I tried to play it off with jokes but it always hurt.
Finally, the Lord instructed me to get a personal trainer. Now at the time, I didn't want one because I didn't want to spend the money but I believed I had heard the voice of the Lord so I decided to hire him. After several months, I kept telling him I was going on a diet and I would (for at least a day or two at a time). But then life would happen and I would quit. One day, I told my trainer that I was starting another diet and he called me a liar. He told me not to insult him by saying that. He said that when I was tired of being the way I was, I would change. Until then, I wouldn't. Well, I am not used to people who I pay money talking to me like that but he was absolutely right. It's funny because today he is definitely a friend of mine and not just my personal trainer.
So I started journaling everything I wrote. I did this for about six months. Then one day, I had to face what I was doing. See, I wrote down everything on paper that I was eating but mentally, I didn't write it all down. After I admitted the problem I had, I asked the Lord to deliver me from my addiction to carbohydrates. Guess what happened. He did. I got sick for a couple of days but I came out of it a changed man. All the sudden, eating the right things and exercising was easy. I didn't tell people I was going on a diet but I didn't have to. They could see it. There is a life lesson in that point - Don't go around telling people what your are going to do. Just let your actions speak for themselves. They do anyway.
Then my trainer told me that I was going to be a runner. I knew that it was from the Lord but I told my trainer it would never happen. Long story short, within two years of being 350 pounds I had ran my first marathon. I have ran two. So here are the stats. I lost two feet (24 inches) in my waist. I went from a 58 to a 34. I lost 160 pounds in 14 months and it was one of the easiest things I have ever done because the Lord was helping me do it. I went from a 5X shirt to a medium/large depending on the shirt. Pretty cool huh.
Well, you might say, that was easy for you but I can't do that. Wrong. I am nothing special. If God can do that through me, He can certainly do that in your life. What areas are you weighing 350 pounds? Is it in relationships, your actual weight, friendships, finances, or school? Well dare to believe that you can change any area of your life. Because with God's help you can. It's never too late. He always has a plan.
And that's another Opinion of the Minion
Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Minion Lawyer
Today, I hope to challenge you. What do you dream about? What have you always wanted to try but have always invented reasons not to do? What would you like to accomplish? Well, you say, I gave up on my goals a long time ago. I can't, couldn't, shouldn't, wouldn't, am not talented enough, not smart enough, not good enough.... I guess you get my point. We all have things like that. When I was in high school, I saw the movie Top Gun with Tom Cruise and I was convinced I wanted to be an F14 pilot. I wanted to go to the US Naval Academy and fly jets for the Navy. Well guess what, it never happened. Why not? Because I didn't want it bad enough. If I had really wanted it, I would have tried harder. So I went to TCU to study business I wanted a college degree but I was more concerned about chasing girls than studying. Which resulted in terrible results. See I wasn't good with girls and my grades suffered to boot. I was just plain lazy.
Now, I am really a fairly intelligent guy (please no comments from my friends or family!). If I put my mind to something, I am capable of learning just about anything. So why didn't I graduate Magna Cum Laude from TCU? Well there were some pretty smart people at TCU and I just plain didn't want it bad enough. Oh sure, if it came super easy I would have made straight As but since it required reading and studying, I didn't. Plain and simple right? Well are there areas of your life where you could have done better and didn't? Sure there are. Does that make you a bad person or a failure? Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. All it means is you didn't want it bad enough.
Now let's get back to the mental list you made from our first paragraph. What things are on that list that you want to do but don't? Why? Are you going to go through the whole could have, should have, and would have list again like we just did? I know there are areas in my life now where I need to work on this.
Let me tell you one area of my life where I decided to try something no one really thought I could do. Remember there will always be people telling you that you can't. They will aways have something negative to say to talk you out of trying. If you aren't careful, you might actually believe those people. But one of my favorite sayings is, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." Now I don't believe in dog fighting or cruelty to animals in any shape. It's absolutely wrong but I like the saying. What it means is that the person who looks the best on paper with the most talent and ability isn't always the person who succeeds. It's the person who tries his hardest and believes he can that normally does. You can do anything that you put your mind to.
OK, so let's get back to my little story. I graduated in the top 10% of the bottom 1/3 of my class at TCU. Like I said, my grades were terrible. I think I had a 2.25. Now another of my life dreams was to go to law school. So one day, I decided to try. I decided to apply and just see if I got in. Well I did pretty good on the LSAT and was accepted to a law school here in Fort Worth. Then I did something remarkable that set the tone for my whole law school experience.
I went out to dinner with my then wife, my cousin and his wife. I remember we went to a comedy club downtown and then we went back to my cousin's wife's house. As we were all sitting around talking and having a good time the subject of me going back to school came up and this is what came out of my mouth. I said, "I'm going to go to law school and give it my best shot. I am going to do my very best and see what happens. I don't want to look back 20 years from now and say I could have, would have or should have. If I flunk out after the first semester, I will do it knowing I tried my very hardest." See I had the right attitude now. I was going to try with everything I had. Notice where my focus was. It wasn't on doing this well or doing that well. It wasn't on being the best student or making the best grades. My focus was on being the best I could be. I didn't look at anyone else but me. If I gave it my all and failed I could live content knowing I gave it may all.
Where do you face challenges like that in life? I still face many of those same things today. There are times when I don't want to work that hard or I want to quit trying something. I believe if you give life your very best and the key is to make sure you know you are doing all you can, then you can hold your head up high no matter what the outcome. Because you know that no matter what, you did your best.
And I guess, that's another Opinion .... Oh wait a minute. Would you like to know what happened to me when I made the decision to try my hardest? Well, God was able to bless all that I did in school. Not only did I finish law school, but I graduated Cum Laude
And that's another Opinion of the Minion
Now, I am really a fairly intelligent guy (please no comments from my friends or family!). If I put my mind to something, I am capable of learning just about anything. So why didn't I graduate Magna Cum Laude from TCU? Well there were some pretty smart people at TCU and I just plain didn't want it bad enough. Oh sure, if it came super easy I would have made straight As but since it required reading and studying, I didn't. Plain and simple right? Well are there areas of your life where you could have done better and didn't? Sure there are. Does that make you a bad person or a failure? Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. All it means is you didn't want it bad enough.
Now let's get back to the mental list you made from our first paragraph. What things are on that list that you want to do but don't? Why? Are you going to go through the whole could have, should have, and would have list again like we just did? I know there are areas in my life now where I need to work on this.
Let me tell you one area of my life where I decided to try something no one really thought I could do. Remember there will always be people telling you that you can't. They will aways have something negative to say to talk you out of trying. If you aren't careful, you might actually believe those people. But one of my favorite sayings is, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." Now I don't believe in dog fighting or cruelty to animals in any shape. It's absolutely wrong but I like the saying. What it means is that the person who looks the best on paper with the most talent and ability isn't always the person who succeeds. It's the person who tries his hardest and believes he can that normally does. You can do anything that you put your mind to.
OK, so let's get back to my little story. I graduated in the top 10% of the bottom 1/3 of my class at TCU. Like I said, my grades were terrible. I think I had a 2.25. Now another of my life dreams was to go to law school. So one day, I decided to try. I decided to apply and just see if I got in. Well I did pretty good on the LSAT and was accepted to a law school here in Fort Worth. Then I did something remarkable that set the tone for my whole law school experience.
I went out to dinner with my then wife, my cousin and his wife. I remember we went to a comedy club downtown and then we went back to my cousin's wife's house. As we were all sitting around talking and having a good time the subject of me going back to school came up and this is what came out of my mouth. I said, "I'm going to go to law school and give it my best shot. I am going to do my very best and see what happens. I don't want to look back 20 years from now and say I could have, would have or should have. If I flunk out after the first semester, I will do it knowing I tried my very hardest." See I had the right attitude now. I was going to try with everything I had. Notice where my focus was. It wasn't on doing this well or doing that well. It wasn't on being the best student or making the best grades. My focus was on being the best I could be. I didn't look at anyone else but me. If I gave it my all and failed I could live content knowing I gave it may all.
Where do you face challenges like that in life? I still face many of those same things today. There are times when I don't want to work that hard or I want to quit trying something. I believe if you give life your very best and the key is to make sure you know you are doing all you can, then you can hold your head up high no matter what the outcome. Because you know that no matter what, you did your best.
And I guess, that's another Opinion .... Oh wait a minute. Would you like to know what happened to me when I made the decision to try my hardest? Well, God was able to bless all that I did in school. Not only did I finish law school, but I graduated Cum Laude
And that's another Opinion of the Minion
Saturday, August 6, 2011
The Minion Who Wasn't Good Enough
Today, I want to deal with something we all feel from time to time. What to do when I don't feel good enough. Have you ever felt that way? I normally don't. If you have read many of my blogs, I don't want you to get the wrong impression. I am a very confident guy. I really like myself and in a good way, I am proud of who I am. I am a good guy. I help my friends and family when I can and I have accomplished some pretty cool stuff. I went law school and graduated high in my class, passed the bar, lost 160 pounds one time, etc. Now I am not saying that to brag but I want you to know that I think well of me.
That said, there are times when I just don't feel like I am good enough. Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like no matter what you did, it just wasn't enough. Have you ever wondered why people only notice the bad stuff you do and not the good stuff? I mean we all know those people. You know the ones. When you tell them you made a 95 on a test, they want to know why you didn't make a 100. Or how about the ones who always tell you what you should do to better yourself and never tell you the good things that you already do? If we aren't careful, this can cause us to feel inadequate. I know. I have felt that many times and even here recently. Now the good thing for me is that these feelings don't stay long. I know what I am worth because the Bible tells me so. I know that God thinks I am good enough. He sees the good things I do and he tells me how proud he is of me. Don't misunderstand this. I don't think God loves me because of what I do or don't do. He loves me because He is love. I can never earn God's love. That's why there is grace. He loves me just because.
In a similar way, I can never earn any one's love. If you are trying to earn some one's love or affection, quit. It won't work. They either love you for you or they don't. And if they don't, then stop wasting time trying to make them. See today, more and more, people are becoming lovers of themselves. That's a shame but it was bound to happen. What do I mean by that? More and more people are only concerned about themselves and what they want. When you find someone who actually cares about others, treasure them. They are becoming more and more rare. I have a friend like that. She is always doing nice things for me. Do you know what that makes me want to do? It makes me want to do nice things back. It's not because I want to "even the score." It's because her kindness makes me want to be kind.
So the question is am I good enough? Before I can answer that, let me ask another question - Good enough for what?
Am I good enough for people to respect, love and treat me right. The answer to that is absolutely, positively, unequivocally, without a doubt, YES. You are good enough just because you are. You deserve love and respect just because you are you. There is nothing that can increase or diminish that.
Are there times when I am not good enough to accomplish all that I want to? Sure. Remember I told you I wasn't a good football player. I wasn't good enough to start on the football team. What should you do if you try something and fail? Try again and again and again. Remember, if you get knocked down, get back up. Keep going. Sooner or later, you will accomplish your goals if you keep trying. I have always believed that I can do anything. Well, except maybe dunk a basketball. ;)
And that's the Opinion of the Minion
That said, there are times when I just don't feel like I am good enough. Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like no matter what you did, it just wasn't enough. Have you ever wondered why people only notice the bad stuff you do and not the good stuff? I mean we all know those people. You know the ones. When you tell them you made a 95 on a test, they want to know why you didn't make a 100. Or how about the ones who always tell you what you should do to better yourself and never tell you the good things that you already do? If we aren't careful, this can cause us to feel inadequate. I know. I have felt that many times and even here recently. Now the good thing for me is that these feelings don't stay long. I know what I am worth because the Bible tells me so. I know that God thinks I am good enough. He sees the good things I do and he tells me how proud he is of me. Don't misunderstand this. I don't think God loves me because of what I do or don't do. He loves me because He is love. I can never earn God's love. That's why there is grace. He loves me just because.
In a similar way, I can never earn any one's love. If you are trying to earn some one's love or affection, quit. It won't work. They either love you for you or they don't. And if they don't, then stop wasting time trying to make them. See today, more and more, people are becoming lovers of themselves. That's a shame but it was bound to happen. What do I mean by that? More and more people are only concerned about themselves and what they want. When you find someone who actually cares about others, treasure them. They are becoming more and more rare. I have a friend like that. She is always doing nice things for me. Do you know what that makes me want to do? It makes me want to do nice things back. It's not because I want to "even the score." It's because her kindness makes me want to be kind.
So the question is am I good enough? Before I can answer that, let me ask another question - Good enough for what?
Am I good enough for people to respect, love and treat me right. The answer to that is absolutely, positively, unequivocally, without a doubt, YES. You are good enough just because you are. You deserve love and respect just because you are you. There is nothing that can increase or diminish that.
Are there times when I am not good enough to accomplish all that I want to? Sure. Remember I told you I wasn't a good football player. I wasn't good enough to start on the football team. What should you do if you try something and fail? Try again and again and again. Remember, if you get knocked down, get back up. Keep going. Sooner or later, you will accomplish your goals if you keep trying. I have always believed that I can do anything. Well, except maybe dunk a basketball. ;)
And that's the Opinion of the Minion
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
My Greatest Failure
Today, I want to talk about failure. Now, most of the time I try to write positive and upbeat blogs. When I read what I write, it challenges me to be a better person. I have always said that if what you see from me is the best you ever see then that is a tragedy because I should get better every day. But failure is inevitable in life. We all go through it at some point. So how do we deal with it? Does it hurt? Absolutely. Do I wish I hadn't failed? Sure. Did I fail? Yes. Let me use one of my favorite lines from the movie Dirty Dancing, "When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong." You have to own your failures and successes.
See, I am recently divorced. I made a commitment before God to stay married to a woman for the rest of my life. It was a covenant that I couldn't keep. Now I won't go into all the reasons behind the divorce itself because they aren't important. Some of my readers know me personally and thus will know my now, ex-wife. Let me say something about her before I go forward. I wish her only the best and most happy days in life. I have done my best to walk through this divorce with integrity and honor. Have I always been successful? No. But this lady, deserves to be happy. She is a wonderful mother to our three kids and I am very sorry things didn't work out between us. I want to publicly forgive her for any wrong doing toward me and I ask the same from her. This is my greatest failure in life.
Do you want to hear all the juicy details of what happened? Would you like me to blame my wife for our marriage falling apart? Well, I won't tell you because those things are personal. Let me just use an old saying, "It takes two to Tango." We both made mistakes and here we are.
So now let's deal with how it made me feel. Last Friday was one of the hardest and most rewarding days of my life. Although we have been separated for over a year and I knew the final divorce decree was coming, I still didn't really believe it. So when the pressure of the week was over, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I gave my word to my God and to that lady and I didn't keep it. I hope you cannot imagine the deep pain I felt. For a little while, I felt like a complete failure. What things in your life have caused you to feel this way? Was it a relationship that ended badly? Was it a failure at your job or at school? Regardless of where it comes from, it still really hurts.
When you get that sinking feeling in your gut because of something like this, doesn't it make you just want to run away and hide from everyone? I mean who would want to be around someone that was a total failure like me? I told myself that I was the biggest loser ever. That I had wrecked my life, the life of my kids and my ex-wife. I was well on my way to beating myself senseless because of my failure. I threw a world class guilt party. I was the guest of honor, the entire guest list, the guy who trashes the guest of honor and the guy who throws him in the dumpster at the end of the party. I invited a very special guest to this party and He wouldn't come. Can you imagine the audacity of being invited to the Destroy the Minion party and not coming? That was certainly rude don't you think? Do you know who the only guest that I actually invited was? It was God. I wanted him to condemn me just like I was doing to myself. I wanted him to tell me that I was worthless and no good just like I was telling myself.
Now, I asked him to forgive me and I knew that he would at some point maybe a few months from now after I really got a thrashing.
When I finally listened to his still small voice, all I could feel was his love for me. It is a love that I will never, ever deserve but it's there. I can't escape it. Do you know when he actually forgave me for my greatest failure? When did He finally forgive me for breaking a covenant that I made in front of Him? The instant I asked for it. I didn't have to wait three weeks. It was instantaneous. He knew before the foundation of the world that I would make mistakes and he forgave me as soon as I asked. That is the reason Jesus shed his blood on the cross. It was to erase my sin. If I asked God to forgive me now, he wouldn't know what I was talking about because He is a forgive and forget God. He doesn't hold these things against me. Guess what, when you ask Him for forgiveness, He does the same thing toward you. He loves you unconditionally, no matter what, all the time, forever and ever with every fibre of His being. He only wants good things for your life and He can take our bad mistakes and turn them into something good. He doesn't want the bad mistakes because He hates to see us in the pain that they cause but He has a million ways to make things OK.
Back to the Guilt Party - It's fine that God forgave me but I am still at this party. After all, if he won't have the decency to show up, I will do his job for him. I will beat myself silly. I can call myself all kinds of ugly names. I mean I know all my deepest, darkest secrets and who better than me to dredge them all up and use them against me now. Here is my major problem with this. If God won't condemn me and trash me out, what right do I have to do it. If he is willing to extend forgiveness to me what right do I have to keep holding the grudge against myself? So here's what I did. At 4:24 on Friday, July 29, 2011, I forgave myself. When it happened, it was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I felt so light and good. I felt like it was OK for me to be happy again. All of the sudden the world turned right side up. God totally wrecked my party and I am so glad He did.
Have you ever felt this way? I have watched many people do this to themselves so I know that I am not alone. I think most of us have. What are you refusing to forgive yourself for? If someone who did you wrong came to you with an honest and sincere repentance on their face and asked you to forgive them for something they did wrong, would you do it? I think probably you would. So why can't you forgive yourself? If you ask God for forgiveness he gives it to you instantly. All I am asking is for you to extend the same grace to yourself that he did. I know this is a process and I want to encourage you to keep at it.
Well friends, I intended this blog to talk about my greatest failure which it did but I can honestly say that I have blogged myself happy again.
And that's another Opinion of His Minion
See, I am recently divorced. I made a commitment before God to stay married to a woman for the rest of my life. It was a covenant that I couldn't keep. Now I won't go into all the reasons behind the divorce itself because they aren't important. Some of my readers know me personally and thus will know my now, ex-wife. Let me say something about her before I go forward. I wish her only the best and most happy days in life. I have done my best to walk through this divorce with integrity and honor. Have I always been successful? No. But this lady, deserves to be happy. She is a wonderful mother to our three kids and I am very sorry things didn't work out between us. I want to publicly forgive her for any wrong doing toward me and I ask the same from her. This is my greatest failure in life.
Do you want to hear all the juicy details of what happened? Would you like me to blame my wife for our marriage falling apart? Well, I won't tell you because those things are personal. Let me just use an old saying, "It takes two to Tango." We both made mistakes and here we are.
So now let's deal with how it made me feel. Last Friday was one of the hardest and most rewarding days of my life. Although we have been separated for over a year and I knew the final divorce decree was coming, I still didn't really believe it. So when the pressure of the week was over, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I gave my word to my God and to that lady and I didn't keep it. I hope you cannot imagine the deep pain I felt. For a little while, I felt like a complete failure. What things in your life have caused you to feel this way? Was it a relationship that ended badly? Was it a failure at your job or at school? Regardless of where it comes from, it still really hurts.
When you get that sinking feeling in your gut because of something like this, doesn't it make you just want to run away and hide from everyone? I mean who would want to be around someone that was a total failure like me? I told myself that I was the biggest loser ever. That I had wrecked my life, the life of my kids and my ex-wife. I was well on my way to beating myself senseless because of my failure. I threw a world class guilt party. I was the guest of honor, the entire guest list, the guy who trashes the guest of honor and the guy who throws him in the dumpster at the end of the party. I invited a very special guest to this party and He wouldn't come. Can you imagine the audacity of being invited to the Destroy the Minion party and not coming? That was certainly rude don't you think? Do you know who the only guest that I actually invited was? It was God. I wanted him to condemn me just like I was doing to myself. I wanted him to tell me that I was worthless and no good just like I was telling myself.
Now, I asked him to forgive me and I knew that he would at some point maybe a few months from now after I really got a thrashing.
When I finally listened to his still small voice, all I could feel was his love for me. It is a love that I will never, ever deserve but it's there. I can't escape it. Do you know when he actually forgave me for my greatest failure? When did He finally forgive me for breaking a covenant that I made in front of Him? The instant I asked for it. I didn't have to wait three weeks. It was instantaneous. He knew before the foundation of the world that I would make mistakes and he forgave me as soon as I asked. That is the reason Jesus shed his blood on the cross. It was to erase my sin. If I asked God to forgive me now, he wouldn't know what I was talking about because He is a forgive and forget God. He doesn't hold these things against me. Guess what, when you ask Him for forgiveness, He does the same thing toward you. He loves you unconditionally, no matter what, all the time, forever and ever with every fibre of His being. He only wants good things for your life and He can take our bad mistakes and turn them into something good. He doesn't want the bad mistakes because He hates to see us in the pain that they cause but He has a million ways to make things OK.
Back to the Guilt Party - It's fine that God forgave me but I am still at this party. After all, if he won't have the decency to show up, I will do his job for him. I will beat myself silly. I can call myself all kinds of ugly names. I mean I know all my deepest, darkest secrets and who better than me to dredge them all up and use them against me now. Here is my major problem with this. If God won't condemn me and trash me out, what right do I have to do it. If he is willing to extend forgiveness to me what right do I have to keep holding the grudge against myself? So here's what I did. At 4:24 on Friday, July 29, 2011, I forgave myself. When it happened, it was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I felt so light and good. I felt like it was OK for me to be happy again. All of the sudden the world turned right side up. God totally wrecked my party and I am so glad He did.
Have you ever felt this way? I have watched many people do this to themselves so I know that I am not alone. I think most of us have. What are you refusing to forgive yourself for? If someone who did you wrong came to you with an honest and sincere repentance on their face and asked you to forgive them for something they did wrong, would you do it? I think probably you would. So why can't you forgive yourself? If you ask God for forgiveness he gives it to you instantly. All I am asking is for you to extend the same grace to yourself that he did. I know this is a process and I want to encourage you to keep at it.
Well friends, I intended this blog to talk about my greatest failure which it did but I can honestly say that I have blogged myself happy again.
And that's another Opinion of His Minion
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