News

 Hello everyone,

Today I want to talk to you about the news. I think we spend way too much time watching what is going on in the world today. Now don’t give me wrong, I do believe we should keep up with current events and know what’s happening. But I think it’s easy to get overwhelmed and caught up in Covid or what’s going on in this country or what’s bad that potentially could happen in that country, etc. And if we’re not careful we can spend hours watching.

I think we would be better off if we decided to be the news instead of watching the news. I heard a story onetime about a person who was going to commit suicide after school one day. I believe it was a girl and she had very low self-esteem. While she was at school, someone walked up to her and told her how nice she looked in the dress she was wearing. It changed her whole day, and she didn’t commit suicide. Wouldn’t it be great to be the person who paid her a compliment and changed her trajectory? What do you think the world would look like if we all found a way to encourage someone? I think that’s what it means to be Jesus ‘s hands and feet in the world.

We get the opportunity just to help someone else feel better about themselves. So today I want to encourage you to find someone to encourage and blessed with your words today.

If you don’t know Jesus and would like to have a personal relationship with Him, all you have to do is pray this simple prayer. Say, “Jesus, come into my life. I make you my Lord and Savior.” If you prayed that prayer, I believe you got born into the family of Christ. Congratulations! If you prayed, would you please let us know.

Also, if you are new to the family and would like to learn more about who you are and how God really sees you, please click the link below. We would love to send you study material absolutely free.

http://eepurl.com/gLci8D

That’s Another Opinion of the Minion

Politics or People

Hello Everyone,

In light of the political elections that are coming up in American, I want to take a second to talk about politics but not in the way you might think.

I've noticed that everyone has an opinion about the current political landscape.  Some hate Trump; Some hate Clinton and some hate everyone.  But here's what really doesn't make sense to me.  I see a lot of my friends and family on my personal Facebook page and other places posting about politics.  They all have something to say about what should or shouldn't be done.  They all have something to say about this person's moral character or that person's.  They all have something to say about this person's truthfulness, etc.  Yet not one of the people I have ever talked with has the capability (other than casting 1 vote) to do anything about it.  Furthermore, neither one of the candidates cares about what any of them think on a personal level.  Whoever gets elected is going to do whatever they please regardless of what you and I think.

So I've been asking the Lord what to do about it.  Here's what the Lord showed me.

1.  Whatsoever things are lovely, just, pure and of a good report, mediate on these.  That doesn't mean that you ignore things but it does mean that you shouldn't focus on them.  Focus on God's word.  It will actually make a difference in your life.

2.  Find someone to bless today.  This one is huge.  I can't really influence who gets elected but I can influence the people around me.  Do you know someone who needs encouragement or maybe someone who needs a meal.  The list of needs goes on and on.  Did you know the Bible says that when you give to someone in need, you give to Jesus?  That's really big.

3.  Remove a critical spirit from you.  See I have noticed that before the Lord told me to quit giving the race so much attention that I was getting critical.  Not only was I critical of the people in the election but I started being critical of people around me.  That's no place to live.

So I ask again - Politics or People?  The choice is yours.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

The Box

Hello everyone,

Today I reposted what I believe to be the most significant thing I have ever said.  The post is called, the Box.  Recently my girlfriend and I were discussing homosexuality and I will not discuss whether it is right or wrong.  You have a bible, find out for yourself.  But I do want to stress that hate for people of that lifestyle is totally wrong.  See our job isn't to judge it's to love.  If you look at thing's through the lense of the Box, it will change the way you look at people.  So, here's the Box.




I have given this a lot a of thought and I believe that the Lord showed me something that changed the way I view people.

You see, when God creates a person he gives them abilities, passions, desires, talents and all sorts of wonderful attributes that we seldom ever see. Then he takes all these things and puts them in a box with silver wrapping paper and very pretty red ribbon tied in a bow around it. He calls the box - You. It is a present to the world. When I saw this for the first time, I looked around at all the people walking by and said to myself, "Merry Christmas!" because all I could see were beautiful boxes waiting to be opened.

The problem is many people don't even know what is in their own box much less have taken the time to look in someone elses box. This starts when we are in school. As we grow up, we learn all kinds of new things about ourselves: what we like, what we don't, the changes that our bodies go through, we learn things in school about the world and we learn about social interaction. But sometimes that social interaction teaches us that the stuff in our box isn't all that important.

Have you ever felt like the stuff inside you doesn't really matter? Can you look back to a point in your life where you were doing something you really enjoyed and someone else called it or you stupid or worthless?

When you pull the most precious parts of your life out of the box and let other people see them, it is scary because you are definitely vulnerable at that point. But know this, the Lord put all those wonderful things inside and they are of great price and value. Don't let someone cheapen what is so precious by their comments.

Everyday, I see people who are alive but aren't living. I think it is because they have told themselves that the treasures in their box aren't important or worth much so they don't do anything with them. They may not have done this openly but below the surface it happens. You have to know that if God took the time to create you and put all those treasures inside you, they are important both to him and to me.

When was the last time you looked in your box and pulled out something you truly enjoyed and used it? When was the last time you opened the box? When was the last time you were passionate about anything? Are you so caught up in the rat race that your box isn't important any more?

Here is another interesting question - When was the last time you opened up someone else's box to see who they really are and celebrate the gifts inside them? Do you always know what is wrong with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids, friends, parents, family, coworkers but never look inside the box for what is so awesome about them?

Husbands, what would happen if instead of criticizing your wife, the next time you saw her, you decided to look at something that was so precious to her, so beautiful, so tender, so amazing and something she loved about herself? What would happen if you nurtured that gift and encouraged it to grow? What would happen if, after you opened her box, she decided that your box was the most special one on earth and decided to touch the core of who you are? What if you both decided to go deep in your relationship?

Boyfriends, what if you looked at her and decided that you wanted more than just what was inside her clothes, you wanted what was inside her heart. Girlfriends, what if you decided that you wanted the same thing? What if you wanted to explore who they are and make them the best person they could be while they did the same thing to you? What if you looked at them and asked, "What can I give?" instead of "What can I get?"

Is this a little intense? Yes. Is it worth it if just one person decides to open their box or open someone elses? Yes. You see, I believe that I got to see a little glimpse of the creation through the creator's eyes when He showed me this. It was truly an eye opening experience and I can definitely say I will never be the same. I got to see how He looked at and longs for His creation to be all that we can be and how His love for us goes so deep His heart aches for us.

So I guess the real question is what is in your box? I want to know.

That's the Opinion of His Minion

Old Friends

Today I want to discuss a subject that I have come to appreciate more in the last week.  I want to talk about friendship.  Before I get to my Opinion for this blog, I need to back up a little.

Not that long ago, a good friend of mine, A, went home to be with the Lord after a long fight with cancer.  Now A and I stayed in touch over the years but we didn't stay as close as we were growing up.  I met A when I was in the 7th grade and we are both 41 (A is very much alive, he just went to a place called Heaven).  I still have fond memories of playing football.  A played center and if I remember correctly, he was a starter on the 1st team (or A team) when we were in middle school.  We are a lot alike.  I can still see him wearing his 3/4 top Nike Monster cleats when we played ball.  Later we called him "Hair" because when we were in high school he had long hair.

I also have very fond memories of us playing hide and go seek when we were in middle school with a whole group of kids from our neighborhood.  When we played, our boundaries were several blocks in every direction and we had a lot of fun.  Now A wasn't the only kid I hung out with.  There was B.  He was the high school baseball stud pitcher when we were in school and interestingly enough, he was also very smart.  For a while B and I were best friends and we were inseparable.

There were other kids in the neighborhood too - B and his little brother A, B and his little brother C and  several others.  For the sake of time I will stop right there except to say that B and I went to see my friend A the other day.  It was a very hard time for both of us.

Now let me fast forward to watching my own kids.  Over the last week, I had the opportunity to watch my kids pretty closely and one thing I noticed was that a couple of them were not very well adjusted to playing with other kids.  Why?  Well, one answer is that they don't have very many kids around them to play with.  That small fact - having kids around to play with - was something I realized was a true blessing in my life and also something that I see missing in my kids lives.  I learned a lot last week.  I can't say it was an easy week but it was certainly rewarding.

So let me leave you with the two things I learned from this past week.  First of all, kids need to be around other kids.  So parents please find ways to help your kids socialize.  Second of all, grew to really appreciate all the great kids I grew up with.  A, you will be missed.  I love you and even though we didn't stay as close as either of us would like, I miss you.  Let me leave you with this - Appreciate your friends.  They are truly a gift from God.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Minion and the Box

My last blog was about the Box.  In the interest of time, I will not go over that post here.  If you haven't read it yet, you might want to read that one before this one.  This one will make more sense if you do.

Last time, I talked about the great gifts that God sends to our planet.  One of them is you and I described what these gifts looked like to me.  The people that God sends to earth look like very pretty presents.  Now over time here on earth, the Boxes get holes and tears in them.  Sometimes stuff gets inside the box that doesn't belong.  Instead of character strengths, there are character flaws.  But know this, God never took the talents and gifts out of any of the Boxes.  In other words, when He placed gifts inside of you, he never took them out again.  Well, you might say, I know this person or that person and they are not nice.  Osama Bin Laden was not a nice person was he?  He is responsible for the deaths of many people.  But did you know that God put great gifts inside him when he sent him to the earth.  Guess what.  Those gifts were still inside him when he left the earth.  Unfortunately, they were never seen like God intended.

Most of us don't know anyone like that.  But many of us know people who just aren't nice.  Guess what.  God put those gifts inside them too and they are permanently there.  No matter how bad the devil would like to get them out of us, he simply doesn't have the power to take them out.  We can choose not to develop them but Satan can't steal them from us.  

Here is another interesting note.  Have you ever noticed that we are quick to point out the holes in the box or the tears in the paper but we typically don't notice the gold on the inside?  Well it seems like that happens regularly.  Take the kid at school who doesn't dress like you do or maybe she is just a little shy.  Maybe she sits by herself at lunch and everyone thinks she is strange.  There is something great inside that person that should be celebrated.  Let me illustrate with a story I once heard.

There was this church that got a new member.  The new member was a very pretty lady who happened to wear shorts that were too short and a shirt that was cut way too low to church every Sunday.  This went on for several weeks and the ladies of the church got more and more upset about the whole thing.  They were calling her all sorts of ugly names.  But right in the middle of it all, someone decided that they were going to buy her a dress and make her clean up her act.  Well when they brought the woman the dress she was overjoyed to have something so beautiful to wear to church.  It turns out that she came from a very bad situation and the short shorts and low cut shirt were the best things she had to wear.  She was very thankful to have something much less revealing to wear to church.  That woman had a very admirable trait.  What was it you ask?  She learned to do her very best even if it wasn't as good as someone else.  Also, she had the courage to go to church when she wasn't able to dress like everyone else.  I like that.

Let me tell you about a boy I know.  Now on the outside, he is not the most athletic.  He is in middle school and he is just like every other sixth grader struggling to cope with this new phase in his life.  I remember my time there and would not want to do it again.  This particular kid loves to build things.  Now it would be easy to push him to do more athletics like football or baseball but instead the right thing for his parents is to encourage him to build things.  See he may never be the captain of the football team but what if he builds the next Golden Gate bridge or what if he invents something that will get us off of oil for fuel?  It would be a waste to try to make him something he is not.  Instead, we need to celebrate the gift for building things that God put inside his Box.

So what am I telling you?  Take a little time to look inside someone's box and celebrate who they are today.

That's another Opinion of the Minion 

Friends vs Family Part 1

Hello everyone,

Several months ago, my sister-in-law, CO, sent me an email regarding why sometimes our relationships with our friends are more successful than our relationships with our family.  This is a little long so I am going to break it up in parts.  I think she has some pretty insightful things to say.

CO-
Friendships vs. Family Relationships
Why is one more successful over the other?

This is a difficult topic to write about, because many of my opinions would vary depending on the friend or family member I am relating these opinions too, but I am going to try to generalize some of what I am writing.

I believe that friends are more accepting of who we are as people. They are less likely to be judgmental of our everyday lives and as the old saying goes "Birds of a feather flock together." Our friends tend to be of a like mind with the things we believe or the actions we typically carry out in our lives. Unfortunately our friendships also tend to be forged from within our own social statuses. It would be difficult (not impossible) for a friendship to be forged from two separate environments socially.

Have you ever noticed how we grow out of some friendships and they fall away after some time? For example, I noticed when I married how the majority of my friends fell to the wayside and given time I had to develop other friends after my new social standing changed. The difference was I was now married and no longer a part of the single crowd. My single friends only wanted to go bar happing, drink, and various other "single minded" activities. I could no longer take part in these things with them. So naturally I no longer fit into these peoples lives. Their interest in me quickly faded, and visa versa due to the lack of common ground that we once shared. Other instances change our social status such as having children, church involvement, financial gain and or loss, and I could go on but I think we get the point. Of course these friends were generally more superficial and the so called love we shared only went skin deep so to speak. The ease in the termination of these friendships also causes me to wonder if we were every really friends in the first place, but that would be another topic all together.

(Let me add that I do think some friends are put in our lives for a short time and some are for a long time.  If you find your friendships changing over time.  That's OK.  I think this agrees with what CO is saying.)
I have had a blessing in life to have a friend that I consider to be more my family than anything. By family I mean that this person will always love me and be a part of my life regardless of the direction my life takes. (Good or bad) Our friendship is successful do to the fact that we completely accept one another, flaws and all. Even when we disagree with one another we have a mutual understanding that the disagreement does not change our acceptance of the other. We respect one another and value each others presences in our lives. There have been times when I have seen this friend making choices that may not have been the smartest thing to do. Being that we are as close as we are, I am able to voice my concerns with her. However, that does not mean she will take my advice or warning. The only thing I can do if things go badly for her is be there for her, be encouraging, and sometimes help pick up the pieces in love. What else are friends truly for except to be there for one another in bad times and enjoy them in the good times? Enjoying their company is only a benefit of friendship but not its purpose when it comes to being that close to a friend.

I believe true friends are bound by a type of love. We have a successful friendship because we choose to act in love toward one another, and a big part of that is not being judgmental toward each other when we mess up. We also do not hold grudges and even forgive each other easily when we have said or done something to offend each other. I am an only child in my family, so I do not know what it is like to have a brother or sister. I imagine for myself that this friend is probably the closest thing I will ever have to a sibling. We have known each other since junior high school and we have been close for longer than P and I have been married. Just as much as I could not imagine my life without P, I also could not imagine not having this friend in my life. It is also nice to be able to talk to someone I can trust about problems that is not on the inside of my family circle. Sometimes it is good to discuss problems with someone that can stay objective because they are not on the inside of what is going on in my world.

To Be Continued.....
The Minion

A Golden Opportunity

Today I want to talk to you about Golden Opportnities.  They are not necessarily opportunities to get gold but they could be.  Do you realize how many opportunities you have in front of you everyday?  Many of them probably go unnoticed.  See, sometimes we aren't really looking for the opportunities that God puts in our lives and we miss them.  Many times those opportunites involve doing something for someone else.  But understand this, if God put them in your life He will bless you even though you gave to someone else.  I am sure that I have missed more than I ever want to know about.

Well over the last few days, I realized that I had an opportunity that I took advantage of.  I didn't even know that the opportunity was one until later.  Fortunately, I was able to act on this one.  Now I don't think it was a real big deal to the people involved but most of life isn't about the big deals.  Whether or not you are successful in life is more often than not about how you handle the small deals.  Well on this particular occasion, I got to teach a few people how to fish.

OK, Uncle W, Uncle J, Dad, and everyone else who knows me, you can go ahead and laugh at me now because we all know that I am not a great fisherman.  To be honest, fishing even bores me most of the time.  See I like catching fish, I just don't really like waiting for them to bite.  Now fortunately for me, fishing is in my blood in both my mom's and my dad's family.  I am not very good but I can bait a hook, get the line out in the water and take a fish off of the line when someone catches one.  However, I really don't know much about it other than that.  I don't even know what we caught the other day.  It could have been small mouth bass but I don't have a clue.  The good news is that it bent the poles and everyone had a good time.

So why is this an opportunity from God you ask?  Well, because these three people are very important to me.  I got to impart something good into their lives and I think they really enjoyed it.  Sometimes life can be like a bank, especially with kids.  We have to make withdrawls from the account of their lives in the form of correction when they don't do their homework or when they need to clean their rooms, etc.  These types of withdraws are very important and they certainly are part of helping a child grow into a mature, productive, socially responsible adult.  I am all for them.  But if you don't make deposits into their lives in the form of love, teaching them fun things, spending time with them and just being part of their world, then you will end up overdrawn at the bank.  This is a very bad place to be.  Fortunately for me, I don't have to make any withdrawls from the people I taught to fish but this concept is still very important.  I did get to deposit a fun experience in their lives and I got to learn a little more about each of them in the process.  Here is something else that amazed me.

I had a lot of fun teaching them the very minimal amount that I know about fishing.  It might have been more fun for me than for them.  I did get to teach them about looking behind you before you cast.  It cut's down on the number of times you put a treble hook in your brother's head.  No, I didn't put one in my brother's.  He put one in mine.  But that's a different story.  See when we seize God given opportunities even though they look like giving to someone else God will bless you richly in the process.

Now here is another take away lesson.  I didn't know this was an opportunity at the time.  I was just having a good time hanging out with other people.  Thank you again K for all your hospitality this weekend.  What I did wasn't even anything I thought about.  I was just enjoying myself.  Many times life is like this.  God is putting opportunites into our lives and we don't even realize that these little gifts from Him are there.

God has a million ways to bless you and he sits around everyday thinking up new ones.  If you will look for the opportunities he presents to you each day, he can even make taking out the trash an adventure.  The thing is you have to do the little things to get the big reward.  Like I said, what I did wasn't monumental in anyone's life.  So look around and see where God has given you opportunites to make deposits into other's lives.  You will find that God is making deposits in your life when you do.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Love Tank

I am not sure if today's blog will be something truly meaningful to anyone but me.  However, today I want to reflect on something interesting in my life.

For the first time in some time, I am actually content.  Today I sat for a little while and thought about why.  What I came up with actually startled me a little.  There is an author named Gary Chapman who wrote a book called "The Five Love Languages."  It is a very good book and if you haven't read it, you might consider it.  Now in this book, he says that we all have a love tank inside of us and that we all have different things that fill our love tank.  While I'm not sure his list is all inclusive, I can't think of anything that would not fall into one of those five categories.

Also recently, I was talking to a very special person in my life and she made in interesting observation.  She said that her heart was full.  I remember at the time this struck me as something interesting.  She recently told me that she ponders things in her heart and I guess that I have been pondering that statement ever since. 

I think she was saying that her love tank was full and since I had read a copy of Gary's book that was directed at children, this concept really stuck out in my mind.  I don't believe in coincidences and I believe that the Lord was trying to show me something but it took me a little while to understand what.  See, I think for years that I have been running on a love tank that read - empty.  There are a many reasons for this and I certainly won't try to address them in this post but suffice it to say that is the way I have felt. 

Now have you ever heard the saying, what goes around comes around?  Well, I believe that is a true statement.  Some people call it karma but in all reality, it's a principal that comes from the bible.  The bible describes it as sowing and reaping.  In other words, what you sow, you are going to reap.  Most of the time we all think of this as doing something bad.  A while back, I played a little joke on my mom that we both laugh about and recently someone else played the same joke on me and we both laughed about sowing and reaping.  Have you ever hear of something bad happening to a bad person and then heard someone else say that person got what was coming to them?  Well, I think that can be true at times.

But what if the opposite was true?  What if when you do good things for people, that same type of stuff happens to you?  I almost find this hard to believe for many reasons but I know the bible is true and so it must be true that when I sow good stuff, I eventually reap good stuff.  For years I have tried to be someone who sows good stuff into other people's lives and didn't really see the results I thought I would see back.  I remember writing a blog this summer where I talked about breaking the cycle of being hurt and hurting other people.  In that blog, I talked about how Jesus was hurt by John the Baptist's death and how he helped people even though he was hurting.  I hope this doesn't come across as bragging because I am not.  This is just a point that needs to be illustrated.

As I sat here today, I realized that I truly was at peace.  I'm not restless, not in a hurry, not trying to figure out what to do tomorrow.  I'm just content.  Why am I content?  Because that love tank or my heart, however you want to classify it, is full.  Now I have always tried to be a giver but I can tell you that when your heart/tank is full it is much easier to give than when it's on empty and you are doing it out of obligation.  There is someone who will read this and know that they are one of biggest reasons my tank is full.  To that person, let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart.  That wasn't the only source that filled my love tank but it was the biggest.

So what can we learn from this?  Well there are a few things that I can think of.  First of all, keep doing good things for people.  If you do that, sooner or later things will start coming your way.  They used to sing a song in church and one of the lines was, "You've gotta keep on casting your bread upon the water.  Soon it's gonna come back home on every wave."  This is true in life.  Second, don't quit.  My mom sent me a link to a blog by Pastor Bob Nichols and the first line said, "Don't quit on your first day and don't quit on your worst day."  I like that a lot.  Sometimes, you will wonder what's taking so long for the good things to start happening in your life but don't quit.  They will come if you keep at it.  Lastly, for now, it's OK to be happy.  This content feeling bothered me because I was so used to not feeling it, it took a couple of days to get used being content and understanding that it was OK to feel this way.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Don't Quit Minion

Through this journey called The Opinion of the Minion, I have had the privilege of putting my opinions out there for people to read.  I continue to be baffled by the support you, the reader, have shown.  Again, I can't say thank you enough.  Today, my opinion is only two words but they are extremely powerful.

Don't Quit!

Don't quit what you ask.  Well I can't answer that question.  Only you know what you are going through.  But I know this.  Tough times don't last, tough people do.  Whatever you are facing in life, you can make it through.  Even if no one believes in you and even though I don't know most of you personally, I do believe in you.  How can you believe in someone you don't really know?  Well that's an interesting question.  I believed in God and His son Jesus before I knew them and my life has never been the same.  Also, sometimes it's easier for me to believe in someone I can't see than it is to believe in someone I know.  So from the bottom of my heart, that I do believe in you.

I want to tell you two stories.  The first is about my friend Al.  Al and I have known each other since middle school (for almost 30 years).  Now Al is one of those guys.  You know the type.  He's the guy that everyone likes.  He would literally give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.  I know because once I asked for a car (we called it the Tank) and he practically gave it to me.  He was a much better friend to me than I was to him growing up.

Now if you are in the mood to run someone into the ground verbally or when you get that real urge to gossip about someone, we all know the people who will pitch in and run others into the ground with us.  Al is NOT one of those people.  I think he would find something nice to say about the devil.  It's just the way he is.  So it shook me to the core several months ago when I found out that he had throat cancer.  We were only 39 at the time he found out and we are both only 40 now.  So Al went through the treatments and we hoped it was over.  But unfortunately, it wasn't.  We recently found out that there was more cancer to deal with and this stuff is really serious.  I won't share the details to protect his privacy but I will tell you that he has a beautiful wife and two great kids.

So last Saturday, I called Al.  After all, I write the Minion and the Lord uses to cheer other people up sometimes.  He uses me to help people feel better and if there was anyone I wanted to feel better, it was Al. When I finally got him on the phone, I was totally shocked at what happened.  I called to tell him to hang in there and try to encourage him but I never got the chance.  He was encouraging me and blessing me.  That's not the way it was supposed to go but Al's attitude floored me.  He said he had too much to live for and that he was planning on seeing his grand kids, etc.  I wanted to tell him, don't quit.  But that thought never entered his mind.  He started telling me stories about the other people he had helped.  Can you believe that!  Here this man is facing a very serious cancer situation and he is more concerned about helping others than what was going on with him.  It was a truly humbling experience.  I hope my heart is as big as Al's one day.

I posted on FaceBook about this a couple of days ago and the response astounded me.  Many of you are praying for Al.  I saw people from literally all over the world who were and I have no way to express my gratitude to you all.

So if you are in a hard place, don't quit.  God can see you through.

But maybe you aren't having it real tough right now.  So you look at this post and say, it really doesn't apply to you.  Not so fast.  Look around you.  There are people who need your encouragement.  If you are emotionally full, find someone to encourage.  Don't be discouraged if they don't receive it immediately.  Just keep at it.

I have a very special friend who is writing a book.  Now I have went so far as to day dream about the time when I will go to this person's book signing.  I can see this person's book published and this person receiving royalties for the book (no it's not my book).  I went as far as telling this person about what I say for them.  Now at first, I don't think this person could see what I saw and I got push back about thinking too big.  But then something amazing started happening.  This person is starting to believe that this will happen.  It's baby steps but it's going forward.  Watching confidence grow in this person is so rewarding.

So take a look around you.  Who needs your help?  Find some way to encourage them.  One day, you will be on the other side of this and need some encouragement yourself.  If you are on the other side, DON'T QUIT.  You can make it through the struggle.  God believes in you and I believe in you.  If you will decide to believe in you that makes three of us!  You can accomplish what you set out to do.

I have said it before and it's true again.  I have blogged myself happy.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Greatest Men I Ever Knew

Hi Everyone,

Today I want to talk to you about someone who was very special to me.  He was one of the greatest men I ever knew.  His name was Thelbert Sanford Rawle and he was/is my grandfather.  I say was/is because he was my grandfather while he was here on earth and he is still my grandfather.  He is in both my future and my past but not my present.  Confusing?  Well that's a different opinion altogether.  Let me tell you a few things about my grandfather.  He left us a few years ago and while he was here, I really didn't understand how great he was.

Well let's start with what he was not.  He never owned a large company, never wrote a best selling novel, never went to law school and never had a lot of money.  See, when most of us consider what success looks like - fame, power, money, etc., Sanford Rawle would not have been considered all that great.  Notice I didn't call him Thelbert.  No one did that I know of.  He didn't like his first name.  So why is he the greatest man I have ever knew?

Well, its funny that the older I get the more I realize why.  While Granddad didn't do things that would put his name in the paper, he did something that most people don't do enough.  He impacted other people's lives.

This Labor Day, we had a gathering at my cousin AB's house.  They were so gracious to have us and I really enjoyed it.  But while we were sitting around telling stories and laughing and getting extremely loud (that's what Rawle's do), I could see him there.  He would have been telling stores and laughing harder than the rest of us.  If you looked closely into his eyes, there was always a sparkle but more importantly, there was always love.  He was the image of what I think love should look like.  He wasn't flashy, he wasn't always trying to get attention, he just went about living life and loving his family.  He was married to one woman, my grandmother, Margie, for 68 years.  I can't even imagine that.

When I look at what he was able to accomplish, I am astounded.  See I have a lot of formal education, he had a lot of informal smarts.  He didn't have people to teach him how to do stuff, so he taught himself.  If something needed to be fixed, they didn't have the money to get it repaired so he figured out how to fix it himself.  I never in all my life saw him ask for a handout but he always had hand out to help someone else.

I remember one time my house needed a new front door.  Granddad heard about it and came over to help me put one on.  Now I didn't just need a new front door, I needed a new door frame and the whole works. Granddad was in his seventies at the time and he just showed up for work one Saturday ready to help his grandson.  Well, we got the door jam and all out and it was laying in the front yard.  Since I had never seen him fail at fixing something, I just knew he would be able to help me fix this.  So I asked him, how many of these he had done before.  After all, he had 70+ years experience at fixing things.  This shouldn't be any big deal.  I was shocked to hear him say that this was his first time.  True to Sanford Rawle form, we got the door put in right.

Here are some things I learned from him.
1.  Laugh often and laugh a lot - It didn't take much to get him started and once you did, he would laugh for ever.  If you look at pictures, he almost always had a smile on his face.  I learned something about that smile.  It was contagious.  You didn't get around him for very long before you were smiling too.  As a matter of fact, if you were around him for a very long time, your jaws would hurt from laughing so hard.

2.  Love isn't a language or words, its a life.  Granddad loved his family and almost everyone he came in contact with.  He didn't just say I love you, he lived I love you.  He was the type of man who was there for you when you needed him.  We all know people who say, call if you need anything and then always have an excuse why they can't help.  He wasn't that man.

3.  Your family is important.  This is something that most of my generation has lost.  His brothers, sisters, and wife were his best friends.  They went on vacation together, the spent holidays together, they played games together.  Not only that but he loved his kids and grand kids.  He was always patient with us.  I only hope and pray that one day I can be more like him, especially in the area of patience.  He was always giving to his family.  While he didn't spend large amounts of money on us that I remember, he gave me things that are far more valuable.  He gave me a joker (this is a card and marble game) board that he made by hand.  He gave all of his children wagon replicas of the one he used as a kid to all of his children.  Mom, Unc and Unc, how much money would it take to buy that wagon from you? They may not read this so but I feel pretty confident I can answer - The wagon isn't for sale at any price.  I still have a tool box that we built together when I was probably six or seven.



3.  Granddad taught me a lot about gossip.  He didn't ever that I remember.  Enough said.

4.  Mind your own business.  My granddad never got into my personal business unless I asked him.  Because of this, when I did ask, I was much more apt to listen to what he said.

5.  Don't eat your own.  Too many times in a family we have a tendency to talk badly about each other.  We think we know what everyone else should do and how they should do it and we aren't afraid to tell them exactly what we think regardless of whether or not it helps or hurts.  My grandfather wasn't like that.

6.  THIS ONE IS HUGE - Have a tender heart.  I often saw my grandfather's heart touched.  He hurt when his loved ones hurt and he was happy for them when they succeeded.  It didn't take much to touch him and I desperately want to be more like that.  As he got older, he knew that his time here was running out and I can remember many times that he would tear up while praying over a meal.  Those tears were almost always for the family that he loved so dearly.

I could go on for many pages but I will finish with one that is very close to his family.

7.  "Make us ever mindful that there are people in this world who have need and have less than we." - When Granddad said the blessing, he finished each prayer that I ever remember with those words.  The funny thing is, he meant them every time he said them.  Now he meant this when it came to material things - ask anyone who didn't finish their meal about those Ethiopians.  But he also knew something that it took me 40 years of life to understand.  True riches aren't measured in what you have, they are measured in who you know.  While he will not go down in history as a man with much material wealth, he will go down as one of the most wealthy people ever because he knew how to love and realized early on what the real treasures of life were - people.

Granddad, I don't know if you can read this in Heaven or not but I want you to know that you are one of the greatest men I have ever had the privilege of knowing.  I can only hope to measure up to the standard you left.  I love you very much and hope to make you proud one day by being more like you.

To everyone else, I want to leave you with the lyrics of a song -

I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed

So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

Cause if tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her

So tell that someone that you love
Just what your thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

The Opinion of the Minion

A Minion's Good Judgment

Today I want to deal with the subject of judgment.  Don't you just love to be around people who are always judging you or someone else?  Those are my favorite types of people.  Well not really.  I very much dislike being around them.  But let's talk about judgment for a minute.  If you have ever been to church, you have heard the quote from the bible, "Judge not lest ye be judged."  We have taken that to mean that when I am around someone who hurts me or does bad things to me, that I can't judge them right.  I think this is very true.  I cannot judge a person period.

But what I can do is judge their actions.  It's OK to judge a person's actions.  But what I think we really like to do is use judging a persons actions as a spring board to get to what is really fun - judging people.  See I caught myself doing that here recently and honestly I didn't really even know I was doing it.  But before I get to that, let me talk about some things its OK to judge.

Sometimes we are around people who use this don't judge people thing as a way to manipulate us and hurt us.  All the while, they are saying that you can't judge them.  What they are really saying is they want you to continue to allow them to treat you badly.  That's not OK.  If you are around someone who is constantly hurting you, their actions are wrong and that is what I am judging.  I am not saying they are a bad person.  However, don't let people manipulate you into doing what they want if it is wrong.

While I am at it, let me step on a few more toes.  If someone comes up to you and tells you in a loving and kind way that they think you are behaving wrongly, consider what they say.  I know some people who are very difficult to correct because they cannot take someone telling them they are wrong.  I personally like to know when I am wrong (this is not an open invitation for you to correct me).  Let me say that I only trust a few people to tell me I am behaving wrongly.  Most of the time, I listen to my heart and the Lord will correct me where I need correction.  Be thankful when someone does that for you, if you know they really love and care about you.  For me personally, I don't want to go around being wrong.  Have you ever had that dream where you are walking around in your underwear or worse and everyone is laughing at you?  Well that's a little drastic but I think when we walk around constantly behaving wrong in an area, that is exactly what we are doing.

So let me tell you about the wrong kind of judgment.  I know this guy who was extremely judgmental to certain people in his life.  As a matter of fact, he really didn't like having them around.  Why, because some of them did do things that hurt his feelings.  Some of them did nothing to hurt his feelings.  He was just judgmental.  Now I don't know if he was ever judgmental outright to these people's faces but he certainly was in his heart.  He didn't really do it on purpose but he couldn't separate judging a person and judging their actions.  See some of their actions needed to be understood.  In some ways they used him but didn't know it.  So what did he do in return.  He got mad and judged them personally.  He considered himself a pretty humble guy.  He didn't go around openly telling everyone that he thought he was smart or successful.  He didn't go around showing off how much money he made or what he had (although many people thought this was the case).  As a matter of fact, he quit showing people the cool stuff he got and he quit telling people about the cool things that happened to him because some people got jealous.

Regardless of what they did to him, he began to judge himself as better than them.  Now here is where it gets a little strange.  He didn't judge himself smarter, or more successful, or more educated than the people around him.  That would have been too obvious.  He judged worse than that.  He began to see himself as nicer than them.  He would look at his wife and see all the times that she did things that were not nice toward him and only consider the nice things he did for her.  He is to this day a giver and began to feel that people took advantage of that.  So he judged himself to be a nicer and therefore better person than many of the people around him.

OK let me give you three guesses on this guy's identity.  Do you really need three guesses?  Yup, you know it.  This guy is me.  It is a very humbling experience when the Lord shows you that you aren't really all that.  Now I quit judging people before I started writing for the most part but I didn't realize that I was doing it.  It's easy for me to hear people saying nice things about this blog and some of the other stuff I do.  I even have a good friend who told me she thought I was a great guy.  She didn't mean it as one of those blow off things.  This girl really puts me on a pedestal.  She sees things in me that I didn't know were there.  As a matter of fact, there was a certain thing about the Minion that happened that shocked me.  She said that she was surprised it took as long as it did.  So guess what, the Minion isn't all that.  I have already done this in private but I want to go on record in front of you and ask God to forgive me for being judgmental.  That is truly a terrible thing to do and I am ashamed of it.  If I have judged you wrongly instead of just judging your actions, please forgive me.

So let me ask you a question?  Where are you being like I was?  Where are you judging people?  I bet that somewhere you are judging them instead of their actions.  That has to stop.  Do you like to sit around and talk about other people?  That's called gossip and it's very judgmental.  We have to stop that.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

A Minion's Hope

Today I want to talk to you about hope.  I belive the single most devistating thing that can happen in your life is to loose hope.  Hope is one of the most important parts of our lives but how often do we hear someone say, "Don't get your hopes up."  That is one the of the dumbest things I have ever heard.  I want you to get your hope sky high.  OK, I can immediately hear people saying, "He has flipped out.  I hoped that this would happen or that would happen and it didn't.  When I hoped for that situation to work out in my life and it didn't, that hurt me deeply and I would have been better of not to have gotten my hopes up at all." 

Let me say, I certainly understand your point.  I have done the same thing.  I got my hopes up that a certain area of my life would change and it didn't.  A few months ago, I got my hopes up about a certain relationship and that didn't work.  I used to get my hopes up all the time that I could go on a diet and loose weight.  I used to get my hopes up that I would be in a great relationship with a woman and that didn't work.  Even recently, I got my hopes up about a situation that didn't work out like I wanted.  So I should have just let it go.  I should have not hoped at all.  Think about it.  Wouldn't it have been better if I hadn't hoped.  If I had just expected failure.  That way I wouldn't have felt the disappointment and in some cases pain of the failure.  I can see what you mean by your question above.  Maybe you were even right.

Well, not so fast.  The critical question about hope is in what or where do I place it?  If I place my hope in you that you will do something or you place your hope in me that I will do something, at some point we will both be disappointed.  Why?  Because we aren't perfect.  Also, sometimes we put our hope in a person who isn't capable of doing what we want anyway.  Think of it this way, if you put your hope in me that I will be able to dunk a basketball.  I can 100% gaurantee you that you will be disappointed.  I am 5'7" tall and my verticle jump won't get me there.  That's not really important in the grand scheme of life but what if you put your hope in a friend or relationship to make you happy?

What if you looked to a girl or guy as the thing that was going to make you happy in life?  That other person is going to make a mistake somewhere and disappoint you.  It will probably hurt when they do.  See, they weren't made perfect so they are not capable of being perfect.  Everyone is going to make mistakes and when the mistake involves you, it is going to hurt.  "OK," you say, "if you want me to have hope and hope is so critical to my life, who or what do I put my hope in?"

Some of you who read this are ahead of me and know exactly where I am going.  That makes me smile.  I will tell you where I put my hope.  I put my hope in God.  He isn't just a train ticket to Heaven.  He is what keeps me going here.  I know that he cannot fail.  If I put my trust in him, there is no area we cannot conquer.  I desire with all my heart to have a godly mate.  I want a woman I can cherish, protect, care for, and grow with.  I want one that I can talk to.  You know my personal feelings from reading the Box.  So when I get around someone who I think is a good candidate, do I put my hope in her that she will be what I am seeking?  Nope, I put my trust in God.  He said He would provide all my needs so I put my hope in Him that He will provide what I need.  I don't hope in the woman, I hope in God.  When I do this, there is such great peace because no matter what comes up, my hope is in God.  If I have a good night or bad, it doesn't matter because my hope stays where it belongs.  Guess what, as I have done this, I have seen deliverance and help from God in every area where I put this to work. 

Recently on Facebook there was a person who stated that they were Wiccan (sp?).  My response was, Why?  I certainly respect their right to be Wiccan.  That wasn't really what I was asking.  Then someone else posted that this person was Wiccan because they chose their religion just like I did.  Well I appreciate their response as I do believe they were honestly trying to help me out but what I wanted to know is why did you chose to be Wiccan?  I can tell you why I choose to be a Christian.  It's because God still helps me everyday.  It's because when I call on Him, He answers.  It's because when things seem like they are coming apart, I can go to Him and He makes me to be at peace even though it looks like I am in deep trouble.  When I place my hope in Him, it centers and grounds me.  All of the sudden, my world turns right side up and things look good again.

And that's another Opinion of the Minion

Game On, Mr. Minion

Today I want to talk to you about being ready.  Being ready for what, you ask?  Well you will have to answer that question, I can't.  But let me explain what I am thinking.  Are you ready for the opportunities that cross your path.  If you met that special someone, are you ready?  If someone gave you the dream job of a lifetime, are you ready?  If someone was going to send you to the college of your dreams, are you ready?  Lastly, and most importantly, if you died tonight, are you ready?

See I think we spend way too much of our time complaining about our circumstances or pushing too hard to make things happen the way we want.  We are so focused on us that we aren't ready for the great opportunities that God places in our life.  Now let me say, that I don't believe that we should just sit around and wait for everything to fall in our laps.  That's not smart.  That's being lazy.  I'm talking about being ready when something comes along.

Let me illustrate this with a story of mine.  Sometimes God has divine appointments that you don't expect.  If we aren't ready when they do, we can miss the whole opportunity.  I go to Starbuck's at least once a day (please no comments about the actual number from my friends).  For several month's there was a certain lady that I wanted to talk to but never did.  This was primarily because I am a pretty shy guy most of the time.  I like being around people and most who know me are very comfortable around me but talking to a total stranger is not something I normally do.  Well, I always liked this girl's face because it looked so kind.  (To the girl who I am talking about - I know you will read this and yes you have a very kind face.  Turns out the personality matches the face.  Don't even think about arguing with me on this point!)  I saw her at Starbuck's for several weeks and never talked to her.

One day, I realized that I was never going to say anything to her because it really isn't in my nature to do this so I just forgot about it.  Well, two days later, I walked into a restaurant by my apartment and saw a guy I knew.  Guess who was sitting at the table with him?  Did you figure it out?  Yup, it was the girl from Starbucks.  Over the last few months, we have become good friends.  She is someone who's opinion I really value and she has really helped me through a tough time.  I think I have been able to do the same for her.  Just think, none of this would have happened if I hadn't walked into that restaurant that day.  That connection was the Lord's way of saying to me, "I've got a million ways to bring people into your life," and it really blessed me to hear that from Him.

When I would see her, I thought about trying to break the ice and say hello but I never did.  Then when I finally decided to let it go, things worked out on their own.  Now this is about a friendship but it applies in all areas of our life.  Where are you pushing hard to accomplish something.  Where are you getting so worked up and stressed out?  Is it possible that while you are trying to figure out how to make something happen in your life that you can't see God setting you up to bless you?  Where are you so focused on someone who is a negative influence in your life that you can't see that amazing person who wants to be part of your life?  Stop and look around.

While I try very much not to preach in these Opinions, I must ask this one thing.  If you were do die tonight, are you ready?  Well, you might say, "I go to church."  That's not what I asked.  You might say, "I'm a good person."  Again, that's not what I asked.  What I am asking you is have you ever met Jesus and made him Lord of your life.  He is a very close personal friend of mine.  He is a real person that you can touch.  Guess what - No matter what you have done in this life, He deeply passionately loves you.  As I write this, I am thinking about His love and it brings tears to my eyes.  He's out to get you but not in a bad way.  He wants to love on you.  He wants to help you.  He will never give up on you and never quit you.  He knows your secrects and His love sees right past that to the inside of the Box He created.  I am not asking you to join a church or become part of a denomination, I am asking you if you have met my Jesus.  If the answer is no, would you please consider praying this simple prayer.

Just say, "Jesus, I ask you to come into my life.  I ask you to be my friend and show me your love for me.  I ask you to be my Lord and Savior."

If you prayed that prayer with your heart, you just became my brother or sister.  Welcome to the family!  Please let me hear from you.  Knowing you made that decision will be the best thing I hear today.

If you didn't pray that prayer, know this that God loves you very much and because He first loved me, I can honestly say that I care about you too.

That's the Opinion of His Minion

Friendship vs. Dating Part 2

Today I want to continue our discussion on relationships.  From those of you who posted comments, the general impression I get is that friendships are much easier than “dating” relationships.  In some ways they seem preferable to dating relationships.  But isn’t finding true love one of the major goals in life?  Don’t we want to find that one special person?  How can we do that if we don’t “date”?  Or is dating just what we do to satisfy the physical needs we have?  It’s like we are saying   So now I have someone who is my friend and then I have someone else who I date.  Before I get to my next point, I would like DD to tell you how she views what we do when we meet someone new.

DD - I think in general there are two “circles” the opposite sex falls into when you meet them.  Friendship or Dating.  Of course it’s not that simple though.  That’s like saying relationships are black or white.  If only.  So I will add a middle ground called the “grey” area.  This area is where the two circles mix.  I think in general, when we meet someone new, we place them into either a friendship circle or dating circle.  Naturally, this is based on looks.  What else do you have to base it on?  You don’t know their personality, what motivates them or what their interests are.  I also think women “place” men into one circle or the other based on looks as much as men do it.  It’s the process of getting to know a person that creates the grey area.  Ladies, say you immediately place a guy into the “dating circle.”  He meets whatever conscious or subconscious criteria for what you find attractive.  Then you find yourself in a social setting with this guy and all he does is talk about himself.  He never shows interest in what makes you tick, only him.  Over time, he slowly becomes less and less attractive.  He might initially move from the dating circle to the “grey” area.  You’re still attracted to him and would still be interested in going out but then over time, he moves into the solid “friendship” circle.  Now I whole-heartedly believe a guy can start out in the friendship circle and over time move through the gray area and into the dating area.  Take the movie Hitch, for example.  Kevin James’ character, Albert Brennaman, has placed the celebrity, Allegra Cole, directly in the dating circle.  I don’t think his placement is based solely on looks though.  He has been around her in the investment meetings and likes that she wants to invest her money into her friend’s business.  After she meets him, I think she placed him in the friendship circle.  But as she got to know him better, she moved Albert into the grey area.  And by the end of the movie, when she realized the dancing, the mustard on his shirt, and pulling out the inhaler wasn’t an act, she moved him into the dating circle.

So we now have these circles that we place people in.  Let me ask a very scary question.  What would happen if I found a girl that I placed in the friend category?  What if that person became someone that I shared my most inner thoughts, secrets, concerns, successes and failures with?  What if that person was the one who was there for me without judgment and I was there for her without judgment?  What if we enjoyed doing the same things and were really relaxed just hanging out together?  What if she was someone I felt I could totally be myself around (the good, the bad, and the ugly)?  What if she was the first person I wanted to talk to when things went good or bad and I was the same for her?  What if she was my best friend?  Then what if I kissed her?

What do you think?

That's the Opinion of a couple of Minions

Friendship vs. Dating

Today, I am going to try something new.  I want to discuss the topic of Friendship vs. Dating relationships.  I don’t have a lot of dating experience but I think something is missing from the process.  See, I want to have a relationship that stories are written about.  I want to be in love with a woman so deeply that I hurt when she is away from me but I am glad she is doing things that fulfill her life.  When I wake up in the morning, I want to be so in love that I stare at her as she sleeps and just wish for five more minutes to look at her.  I want her, not just her body.  I want what she thinks, how she makes me feel, and how she makes me a better person.  I want to be around a woman who feels the same way about me.  Is this possible, I believe it still is.  I just think we have lost sight of how to get there. 

I also want great friendships with people who know me really well.  One day, I want to say I have known that person for 50 years.  I want to be around people who enjoy life.  How do I find those relationships and will I know when I do?

To really be fair to both guys and gals, I want to bring in a good friend of mine, DD (DD is a woman), to help me discuss this topic and give you a woman’s perspective on our discussion.  This will take more than one post so let’s get started.

To begin with let’s start with the question of just friends or something more?  I asked DD her perspective and here’s what she had to say.  In any relationship we have goals, while these goals are not written down on a piece of paper, they are there whether we realize it or not.  For instance, when you meet a new friend, you might hope that they are someone you can confide in about boys or girls.  You might hope they can be on your baseball team, or whatever.  If you meet someone you want to date, one goal of a physical relationship at some point.  It might not be on the first date or even by the tenth date but at some point, your goal/intention is to hold hands, kiss, cuddle, etc.

I struggled with this definition until I realized that there is an emotional connection that goes along with dating.  I am not totally sure what the emotional connection is but I know it is there.  Men, realize this, whether or not you want to believe it, you were created as an emotional being.  We all know that men and women are different but what we don’t realize is that somewhere along the way men and women were trained to be more different than they actually are.  Men, emotions signal needs.  Whether or not you like this, it’s true.  Think of it this way, if your stomach tells you that you are hungry, you can choose to ignore the signals from your stomach but it will not change the fact that you are in need of food.  If you ignore the signals from your stomach long enough, you will starve to death.

It’s the same thing with your other emotions.  Men, we have emotions.  Over many generations, we have been trained to ignore them.  We are supposed to be Mufasa, the Lion King.  We are supposed to roar and protect the pride.  But yet, we are not supposed to feel anything.  That is why we don’t connect with girls like we really want.

Before we go further with this, I want to take a minute for DD to give you her initial thoughts on this subject. DD, welcome to the Opinion of the Minion.

DD says - I think there is an emotional development or connection in both types of relationships.  Say you just made a new girlfriend and you confided in her about what guy you liked and the two of you plot, plan, and giggle about how to get the guy to notice you or ask you out.  That is developing an emotional bond between you and your friend.  You trust her to keep that confidential information to herself—not tell the entire school or worse, the guy.  If she did tell someone, you might feel betrayed and hurt.  An example for dating is if a guy kissed you for the first time, said he would call you then next day and didn’t.  You would likely feel disappointment and hurt. 

The Minion – When DD and I began to discuss this subject, her insights really taught me something.  Obviously, she will explore this topic more with us as we go along.  I want to keep this first segment a little short and because DD and I do not consider ourselves experts, we would like to hear from you about what you think the differences are between being friends and dating.  You can address your comments to either of us.  If you have a personal question you would like either of us to answer, please feel free to e-mail either:

Minion@theopinionoftheminion.com or
DD@theopinionoftheminion.com 

And that’s an Opinion from two Minions

Despair Island

This Opinion was birthed out of watching a friend go through a tough time.  So I sat down and thought about how I could be a good friend to this person.  Hopefully it will help them and it will help you too.


I want to be a friend to this friend in need.  How should I do it?


1.  No matter how things feel, you are never alone.  Have you ever noticed that when bad things happen in your life, sometimes you just want to withdraw?  Do you get that feeling that no one has ever went through what you are going through now?  Well that isn't true.  There are people who have been where you are and there are still people who want to help.  You and I should be these people.  My life has felt very lonely at times.  And because of certain circumstances, I have felt like I was all by myself on an island with no one there to help.  I call it Despair Island.  It is one of the worst places on earth to be because you are so alone.  You feel like every part of your body hurts.  You can't eat, you can't sleep and you can't seem to get your mind of the horrible creatures chasing you.  What I didn't see where the boats waiting just off the beach.  These boats are the other people in our lives and God who want to help.  When is the last time you were a boat for someone?  Understand there is a little water between you and the boat so you will have to swim a little.  This isn't your boat.  You didn't put it there, someone else showed up to help you.  A very good friend of mine says, "We are all called to do something great, we just aren't called to do it alone."  His Ivy League English is better than mine but this is the Texas translation.

2.  Then instead of trying to tell them something about me, I will just listen.  I will ask one question and then listen with both ears wide open.  The question is - What are you feeling right now?  We aren't going to find out about my day, or anything about me, we are just going to talk about what you are going through and how it makes you feel.  We aren't going to talk about right and wrong, we are just going to talk about how you feel.  How often have you wanted someone to just listen to what you are going through.  To be a good friend, this is what you should do.  Don't give advice that isn't requested.  Remember, people don't care what you know until they know you care.

3.  I will ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?"  For us Christians, this is a must - Preach the gospel at all times and if absolutely necessary, use words.

4.  I can let this person know how extremely special I think they are.  They have so many good qualities and they deserve the very best.  I don't want them to settle for second best in any area of their life.  As a matter of fact, I have peeked inside this person's box and it is pretty special.  I don't see many similar to it.

5.  I can also tell this person that bad times don't last, good people do.  Because I have seen part of the inside of the box, I can say that this person is a good one and I know this person will last.

6.  Here's what I won't do.  I won't condemn this person.  Do you know why?  Because I have done some not nice things just like we all have.  If it wasn't for the screw ups in my life, Jesus wouldn't have had to be beaten, despised, ridiculed, crucified and sent to Hell for me.  He was tortured so bad that people didn't recognize him as a human because of my screw ups.  Instead of condemning me for stuff I did, instead of giving me what I deserved, He took the punishment for all my bad stuff.  If he took that for me, I can't condemn someone else.  I can't tell them, "I told you so," when things didn't work out.  To this person especially, I won't do that.

There are other ways to be a friend and since I don't know them all, I would like you to share your ideas with me.

So I will leave you with this question - How are you a friend to a friend in need?

That's the Opinion of the Minion