Through this journey called The Opinion of the Minion, I have had the privilege of putting my opinions out there for people to read. I continue to be baffled by the support you, the reader, have shown. Again, I can't say thank you enough. Today, my opinion is only two words but they are extremely powerful.
Don't Quit!
Don't quit what you ask. Well I can't answer that question. Only you know what you are going through. But I know this. Tough times don't last, tough people do. Whatever you are facing in life, you can make it through. Even if no one believes in you and even though I don't know most of you personally, I do believe in you. How can you believe in someone you don't really know? Well that's an interesting question. I believed in God and His son Jesus before I knew them and my life has never been the same. Also, sometimes it's easier for me to believe in someone I can't see than it is to believe in someone I know. So from the bottom of my heart, that I do believe in you.
I want to tell you two stories. The first is about my friend Al. Al and I have known each other since middle school (for almost 30 years). Now Al is one of those guys. You know the type. He's the guy that everyone likes. He would literally give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. I know because once I asked for a car (we called it the Tank) and he practically gave it to me. He was a much better friend to me than I was to him growing up.
Now if you are in the mood to run someone into the ground verbally or when you get that real urge to gossip about someone, we all know the people who will pitch in and run others into the ground with us. Al is NOT one of those people. I think he would find something nice to say about the devil. It's just the way he is. So it shook me to the core several months ago when I found out that he had throat cancer. We were only 39 at the time he found out and we are both only 40 now. So Al went through the treatments and we hoped it was over. But unfortunately, it wasn't. We recently found out that there was more cancer to deal with and this stuff is really serious. I won't share the details to protect his privacy but I will tell you that he has a beautiful wife and two great kids.
So last Saturday, I called Al. After all, I write the Minion and the Lord uses to cheer other people up sometimes. He uses me to help people feel better and if there was anyone I wanted to feel better, it was Al. When I finally got him on the phone, I was totally shocked at what happened. I called to tell him to hang in there and try to encourage him but I never got the chance. He was encouraging me and blessing me. That's not the way it was supposed to go but Al's attitude floored me. He said he had too much to live for and that he was planning on seeing his grand kids, etc. I wanted to tell him, don't quit. But that thought never entered his mind. He started telling me stories about the other people he had helped. Can you believe that! Here this man is facing a very serious cancer situation and he is more concerned about helping others than what was going on with him. It was a truly humbling experience. I hope my heart is as big as Al's one day.
I posted on FaceBook about this a couple of days ago and the response astounded me. Many of you are praying for Al. I saw people from literally all over the world who were and I have no way to express my gratitude to you all.
So if you are in a hard place, don't quit. God can see you through.
But maybe you aren't having it real tough right now. So you look at this post and say, it really doesn't apply to you. Not so fast. Look around you. There are people who need your encouragement. If you are emotionally full, find someone to encourage. Don't be discouraged if they don't receive it immediately. Just keep at it.
I have a very special friend who is writing a book. Now I have went so far as to day dream about the time when I will go to this person's book signing. I can see this person's book published and this person receiving royalties for the book (no it's not my book). I went as far as telling this person about what I say for them. Now at first, I don't think this person could see what I saw and I got push back about thinking too big. But then something amazing started happening. This person is starting to believe that this will happen. It's baby steps but it's going forward. Watching confidence grow in this person is so rewarding.
So take a look around you. Who needs your help? Find some way to encourage them. One day, you will be on the other side of this and need some encouragement yourself. If you are on the other side, DON'T QUIT. You can make it through the struggle. God believes in you and I believe in you. If you will decide to believe in you that makes three of us! You can accomplish what you set out to do.
I have said it before and it's true again. I have blogged myself happy.
That's another Opinion of the Minion
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
The Minion's Casual Date
Someone recently asked me how I feel about casual dating. Now let me start by saying that I don't have much experience with the whole process so I asked my friend DD what she thought because she dated in high school where I did not. Let's start with what age group. I think casual dating is probably OK especially when you are young. Before everyone gets upset with me, I don't think casual sex is right, ever, ever. That is just plain wrong. But I think casual dating can make sense.
If you are a teenager, the best thing you can do is talk to your parents about this. They may not want you to and even though every hormone in your body is screaming to go out with a guy/girl. The smartest thing you can do is pay attention to your parents and abide by their rules.
That said, I think it's OK while you are in high school and probably even college. I think this gives you a good opportunity to see what you like in other people. As you go out with different people, you will see personality traits that you like and ones you don't. It's OK to see things in someone that you don't like. Just because you don't like something about a person, doesn't make that thing bad. It just means it isn't a fit for you. There's nothing wrong at your age with just going out to have a good time. However, as you get older, you will find that guys and girls both want to enter into more permanent relationships. I think you must always be open and honest with the other person. Just like with anything, communication is extremely important.
However, be careful of using the L word. And be careful if someone tells you that they love you. At that young age, you may not know exactly what love is. I can tell you at 40 years old, my definition of love is much different than it was a 18.
Another thing about casual dating to consider is marriage discussions. I have seen many high school sweethearts and very few ever got married. Even fewer had a long lasting marriage. Now it happens. I had a friend in high school who's mom was a cheerleader and dad was captain of the football team. They are still married today.
So as a teen/young person, if you are going to casually date, I think you should start with doing things in groups or at least doing things in public places. Why? Because the temptation to start a physical relationship is huge and I that is a very dangerous thing to do. I don't think it's wrong to kiss at your age (as long as your parents think it is OK) but my biggest concern is that kissing leads to other things which are wrong on a few levels. As I have already said, casual sex is just plain wrong.
I remember having crushes on people when I was much younger and if you find yourself with a crush on someone, always ask yourself this question. What is it about that person that I like so much? What does that person do or say that makes you feel the way you do? I have asked my son this question and when he realized that he couldn't answer it, his crush on the little girl stopped cold.
Now as you get out of college, I still think casual dating is OK. There is nothing wrong with going out to have fun. But my limited experience tells me that most people date after they get out of school to find someone to marry. Again, I will go back to communication. If you are dating someone, make sure that you are open and honest with them. You may be just fine with casual dating but they may not.
Now this is not for everyone but for me, I would not date someone after I determined that there was no possibility of ever marrying them. Hold up a minute. I didn't say you had to know within the first week whether they were the one or not. I'm just saying that when I got to the point that I knew for sure, I would stop dating them.
That's another Opinion of the Minion
If you are a teenager, the best thing you can do is talk to your parents about this. They may not want you to and even though every hormone in your body is screaming to go out with a guy/girl. The smartest thing you can do is pay attention to your parents and abide by their rules.
That said, I think it's OK while you are in high school and probably even college. I think this gives you a good opportunity to see what you like in other people. As you go out with different people, you will see personality traits that you like and ones you don't. It's OK to see things in someone that you don't like. Just because you don't like something about a person, doesn't make that thing bad. It just means it isn't a fit for you. There's nothing wrong at your age with just going out to have a good time. However, as you get older, you will find that guys and girls both want to enter into more permanent relationships. I think you must always be open and honest with the other person. Just like with anything, communication is extremely important.
However, be careful of using the L word. And be careful if someone tells you that they love you. At that young age, you may not know exactly what love is. I can tell you at 40 years old, my definition of love is much different than it was a 18.
Another thing about casual dating to consider is marriage discussions. I have seen many high school sweethearts and very few ever got married. Even fewer had a long lasting marriage. Now it happens. I had a friend in high school who's mom was a cheerleader and dad was captain of the football team. They are still married today.
So as a teen/young person, if you are going to casually date, I think you should start with doing things in groups or at least doing things in public places. Why? Because the temptation to start a physical relationship is huge and I that is a very dangerous thing to do. I don't think it's wrong to kiss at your age (as long as your parents think it is OK) but my biggest concern is that kissing leads to other things which are wrong on a few levels. As I have already said, casual sex is just plain wrong.
I remember having crushes on people when I was much younger and if you find yourself with a crush on someone, always ask yourself this question. What is it about that person that I like so much? What does that person do or say that makes you feel the way you do? I have asked my son this question and when he realized that he couldn't answer it, his crush on the little girl stopped cold.
Now as you get out of college, I still think casual dating is OK. There is nothing wrong with going out to have fun. But my limited experience tells me that most people date after they get out of school to find someone to marry. Again, I will go back to communication. If you are dating someone, make sure that you are open and honest with them. You may be just fine with casual dating but they may not.
Now this is not for everyone but for me, I would not date someone after I determined that there was no possibility of ever marrying them. Hold up a minute. I didn't say you had to know within the first week whether they were the one or not. I'm just saying that when I got to the point that I knew for sure, I would stop dating them.
That's another Opinion of the Minion
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