Friendship vs. Dating Part 2

Today I want to continue our discussion on relationships.  From those of you who posted comments, the general impression I get is that friendships are much easier than “dating” relationships.  In some ways they seem preferable to dating relationships.  But isn’t finding true love one of the major goals in life?  Don’t we want to find that one special person?  How can we do that if we don’t “date”?  Or is dating just what we do to satisfy the physical needs we have?  It’s like we are saying   So now I have someone who is my friend and then I have someone else who I date.  Before I get to my next point, I would like DD to tell you how she views what we do when we meet someone new.

DD - I think in general there are two “circles” the opposite sex falls into when you meet them.  Friendship or Dating.  Of course it’s not that simple though.  That’s like saying relationships are black or white.  If only.  So I will add a middle ground called the “grey” area.  This area is where the two circles mix.  I think in general, when we meet someone new, we place them into either a friendship circle or dating circle.  Naturally, this is based on looks.  What else do you have to base it on?  You don’t know their personality, what motivates them or what their interests are.  I also think women “place” men into one circle or the other based on looks as much as men do it.  It’s the process of getting to know a person that creates the grey area.  Ladies, say you immediately place a guy into the “dating circle.”  He meets whatever conscious or subconscious criteria for what you find attractive.  Then you find yourself in a social setting with this guy and all he does is talk about himself.  He never shows interest in what makes you tick, only him.  Over time, he slowly becomes less and less attractive.  He might initially move from the dating circle to the “grey” area.  You’re still attracted to him and would still be interested in going out but then over time, he moves into the solid “friendship” circle.  Now I whole-heartedly believe a guy can start out in the friendship circle and over time move through the gray area and into the dating area.  Take the movie Hitch, for example.  Kevin James’ character, Albert Brennaman, has placed the celebrity, Allegra Cole, directly in the dating circle.  I don’t think his placement is based solely on looks though.  He has been around her in the investment meetings and likes that she wants to invest her money into her friend’s business.  After she meets him, I think she placed him in the friendship circle.  But as she got to know him better, she moved Albert into the grey area.  And by the end of the movie, when she realized the dancing, the mustard on his shirt, and pulling out the inhaler wasn’t an act, she moved him into the dating circle.

So we now have these circles that we place people in.  Let me ask a very scary question.  What would happen if I found a girl that I placed in the friend category?  What if that person became someone that I shared my most inner thoughts, secrets, concerns, successes and failures with?  What if that person was the one who was there for me without judgment and I was there for her without judgment?  What if we enjoyed doing the same things and were really relaxed just hanging out together?  What if she was someone I felt I could totally be myself around (the good, the bad, and the ugly)?  What if she was the first person I wanted to talk to when things went good or bad and I was the same for her?  What if she was my best friend?  Then what if I kissed her?

What do you think?

That's the Opinion of a couple of Minions