Today I want to talk about when it hurts. This post applies to a friend again but unfortunately it applies to the Minion today.
The critics of the Minion (yes there are some who criticize me) say that I don't deal with bad things in the world and that all I deal with are the positives which makes me out of balance. Well, today I want to look at what to do when it hurts. See, right now I am hurting a little. I think this hurt will be a temporary one and everything should be OK shortly but it does present an good opportunity to talk about what to do when it hurts. There is a particular fan of the Minion who probably understands what I am talking about and I want to speak to you first.
Although I should be dealing with the negative, let me get positive for a minute (sorry critics, I can't help it - This is who I am). I want to say to this fan, you have more courage than anyone I know. I am very glad you are a fan of the Minion like I have told you before I will be here for you. Like I have also said before, bad times don't last, good people do. See, I have looked inside this particular fan's box and found some pretty remarkable stuff. This fan is a hard worker, wants to see the company the fan works for do well, shows compassion to friends, is kind, is good hearted, caring and here is the hardest thing for me to understand, even though this fan his hurting the fan doesn't want to strike back at the person who is causing the deep pain. This fan is truly remarkable. My discomfort doesn't change on thing about the way I think or feel about this fan.
OK, now that I have established that I am hurting a little. A line from a song comes to mind, "Sometimes I hurt and sometimes I cry. Sometimes I can't get it right no matter how hard I try." Have you ever felt that way? Well I do sometimes. The real question is what to do with the pain.
Several years ago, I just wandered around like a zombie. See I thought that because the emotion that I felt the most often was pain, then the best thing for me to do was wall off all my emotions. That way I would never hurt right. After all, I am a guy. That's what we do right. Well about two years ago, I realized that not allowing myself to feel any emotions was doing two very harmful things.
1. We all have emotions (yes guys you do have emotions whether you admit it our not) and emotions signal needs. I was ignoring the needs that my emotions were signaling. As a result, I was emotionally bankrupt. I had nothing else to give anyone. Have you ever felt this way? That is a horrible place to be. There are people in my life who need the things in my box and I didn't have the strength to open my own box, much less look in theirs.
2. Because I turned off all my emotions I was not able to feel any of the good ones. I couldn't feel love. I couldn't feel God's deep burning love for me. Because I didn't know what really caring about someone felt like, I couldn't be as caring for others as I should. Imagine what it was like to graduate in the top part of my class from law school and not really feel good about it. Imaging what it was like to not be able to enjoy a boat ride at sunset or a beautiful sunrise. I couldn't live in the moment. Because I didn't feel stuff, I didn't enjoy anything. I always thought the next thing on my agenda would bring me happiness but nothing ever did back then. Both of these are really bad things. I guess we can say that turning my emotions off won't work so what do I do with them?
Have you ever heard the phrase, hurting people hurt people? Well I could try that. I could call out some of the critics of the Minion and say bad things about them. But that won't help me either. So what am I going to do?
I am going to do what Jesus did. I am going to do my best to help someone and it starts with this blog. Back to the fan. I am going to start by saying more nice things because I know that fan is hurting and I believe what I am saying. This fan always has an encouraging word even though I know the fan is going through a little bit of hell on earth. This fan has a terrific memory. This fan has many qualities that I really admire. This fan is worth it and this fan deserves the best. This fan is great and shouldn't settle for anything less.
Also, I know of someone else who lost a pet recently. I don't know if this person has ever read the Minion and I doubt it, I want to say to them that I am extremely sorry for their loss. I know what a warm, caring pet owner you are and how you really love your pets. I think that is remarkable.
To another person who I know recently lost someone close to them, I am truly sorry for your loss. I know that it is extremely hard on you and I am praying that things will get better for you.
See, all these people are hurting. My first thought to all of them, even though I am experiencing some emotional discomfort right now, is I want to help.
Next, to the rest of the fans of the Minion, I want to say to you, that if you are hurting, be patient. Time does heal wounds. I can say that to you because I am working on patience right now in my own life and guess what, I really don't like it. I mean, couldn't we just have microwave patience. Why does this virtue of patience take so long to develop? :)
I want to leave you with this thought - What would the world look like if when we were hurt instead transferring our hurt to someone else, we tried to help someone? Well there I go getting positive again. I have blogged myself happy.
And that's the Opinion of His Minion
It's far, far easier to work with someone else's pain than it is your own. I think this is largely because we view other people's pain as misfortune that happens to them, but our own issues are something... deeper, at least to us. We think our pains are unique, our suffering is solitary, and it becomes shameful because we're supposed to be perfect.
ReplyDeleteKevin, I think that is very true. Because emotions can be such a strong thing to deal with, it is very difficult for us to see straight when we are under extreme emotional pressure. That is when we think we are all alone because the pain can be so all encompassing if we let it. One thing it is important to understand - We all do things wrong. We all do things that are shameful sometimes. Everyone has skeletons in their closet that they are not proud of. But know this, that Jesus knew before he died for us what our skeletons would be before we made them. Even though he knew we would put those things in our closet, he loved us so much that there was nothing we could do that would stop him from going to the cross for us. He did that because he loves us. He knew we weren't going to be perfect and he still did it. Guess what, if he had to do it over again, he would because he cares that much. When I think about this, I care much less about the skeletons and much more about the closet.
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