This Opinion was birthed out of watching a friend go through a tough time. So I sat down and thought about how I could be a good friend to this person. Hopefully it will help them and it will help you too.
I want to be a friend to this friend in need. How should I do it?
1. No matter how things feel, you are never alone. Have you ever noticed that when bad things happen in your life, sometimes you just want to withdraw? Do you get that feeling that no one has ever went through what you are going through now? Well that isn't true. There are people who have been where you are and there are still people who want to help. You and I should be these people. My life has felt very lonely at times. And because of certain circumstances, I have felt like I was all by myself on an island with no one there to help. I call it Despair Island. It is one of the worst places on earth to be because you are so alone. You feel like every part of your body hurts. You can't eat, you can't sleep and you can't seem to get your mind of the horrible creatures chasing you. What I didn't see where the boats waiting just off the beach. These boats are the other people in our lives and God who want to help. When is the last time you were a boat for someone? Understand there is a little water between you and the boat so you will have to swim a little. This isn't your boat. You didn't put it there, someone else showed up to help you. A very good friend of mine says, "We are all called to do something great, we just aren't called to do it alone." His Ivy League English is better than mine but this is the Texas translation.
2. Then instead of trying to tell them something about me, I will just listen. I will ask one question and then listen with both ears wide open. The question is - What are you feeling right now? We aren't going to find out about my day, or anything about me, we are just going to talk about what you are going through and how it makes you feel. We aren't going to talk about right and wrong, we are just going to talk about how you feel. How often have you wanted someone to just listen to what you are going through. To be a good friend, this is what you should do. Don't give advice that isn't requested. Remember, people don't care what you know until they know you care.
3. I will ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?" For us Christians, this is a must - Preach the gospel at all times and if absolutely necessary, use words.
4. I can let this person know how extremely special I think they are. They have so many good qualities and they deserve the very best. I don't want them to settle for second best in any area of their life. As a matter of fact, I have peeked inside this person's box and it is pretty special. I don't see many similar to it.
5. I can also tell this person that bad times don't last, good people do. Because I have seen part of the inside of the box, I can say that this person is a good one and I know this person will last.
6. Here's what I won't do. I won't condemn this person. Do you know why? Because I have done some not nice things just like we all have. If it wasn't for the screw ups in my life, Jesus wouldn't have had to be beaten, despised, ridiculed, crucified and sent to Hell for me. He was tortured so bad that people didn't recognize him as a human because of my screw ups. Instead of condemning me for stuff I did, instead of giving me what I deserved, He took the punishment for all my bad stuff. If he took that for me, I can't condemn someone else. I can't tell them, "I told you so," when things didn't work out. To this person especially, I won't do that.
There are other ways to be a friend and since I don't know them all, I would like you to share your ideas with me.
So I will leave you with this question - How are you a friend to a friend in need?
That's the Opinion of the Minion
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