This is the title of a book I read on something called narcissism. One definition of this word is an unhealthy love for ones' self. Here's what I found really interesting about this. According to the Bible, in the last days (before Jesus returns) people will be lover's of themselves.
Before I go any further, let me quickly say that I don't have one clue when Jesus will return. I don't think the world is going to blow up tomorrow or that aliens are plotting with President Obama and the Chinese to overthrow Luxembourg or any of the other crazy rumors you hear these days. I will also let you in on another secret. I am not all that anxious for the Lord to return. Let me tell you why. Most of the people that I hear today who are anxiously awaiting God's return are also broke down, busted and disgusted people. I don't want to be chased off this planet with my tail between my legs in Christ's return. I want to finish my course and when I have been successful at everything that the Lord has for me here, then and only then will I be ready to move to Heaven.
However, I do believe that we are getting close to the return of Christ. When will that be? The bible says that God hasn't even told Jesus the exact time. So if He hasn't confided the exact time in Jesus, I think it's a pretty safe bet that He isn't going to tell me either.
But I think I now understand what this whole concept of people being lovers of themselves means. It means they will be narcissistic. Is this a bad thing? Yes. Why am I bringing it up? Because being around these types of people can be extremely unhealthy and there are going to be more and more of them on the earth. If you are around friends who are like this, you may want to consider whether or not it makes sense to continue to hang around with them. Also, we all need to check ourselves from time to time to see if we are acting this way.
The reason I find this so interesting is because I have talked to several people lately who were in counseling sessions (no, I am not a counselor) with other people who were diagnosed with this problem. There is a healthy form of narcissism and I think we need to understand that it is OK to think about yourself and to take care of yourself. But what we are talking about here is an unhealthy situation.
So let me give you a few things that are characteristics of narcissism:
1. Like the title of the blog, for some people everything in their life has to be about them. They can never talk or do anything that doesn't relate to themselves. They also have to be first priority over everyone else.
2. Most of the time, they don't apologize when they do something wrong or their apology is a very sarcastic one. The reason this happens is that a narcissist believes their world is completely perfect and that they are perfect. They have a hard time understanding that it's OK to have imperfections. But like we have discussed before, no one is perfect.
3. They project anything negative onto other people. This sort of goes hand in hand with number 2. If someone tells them that they are wrong about anything, someone else is always to blame for them being wrong. For example, if you tell a narcissist that they were rude to a store clerk, the narcissist will always blame someone else for why they were rude.
4. They rarely have the ability to make anyone else happy unless they are completely happy.
5. Because they have to keep their world perfect, you cannot tell them that they are a narcissist because it would mean that they have an imperfection.
There are others and if you feel like someone in your life really has this problem, I encourage you to get the book with that title and read it.
So why am I telling you all this you ask? Because these types of people can be very draining. If you have friends like that, you might want to seriously consider whether or not the friendship is worth it. If we stay in friendships like that, they are very draining on us and can ultimately do us a lot of emotional harm.
But here is the other reason I wanted to write about this. I want you to take a look at those five items again. Now this is going to be very hard because if you have a problem, then it will be difficult for you to admit to this particular one. But I want you to ask yourself honestly if any of those things apply to you. I don't want you to be overly critical of yourself. Just because you came up with an excuse for something you did yesterday doesn't make you a narcissist. However, if you can't admit that you are wrong, you do have a big problem.
See I was like that for a long time in a couple of areas. I could not admit that I had a problem with food and I could not admit that I had a problem spending money. Both were true but this was especially true with money. I was a financial disaster. It hurt not only me but also my family and I could not admit to myself that I had a problem. Finally for me, I had an incident happen that actually woke me up.
That's another Opinion of the Minion
Before I go any further, let me quickly say that I don't have one clue when Jesus will return. I don't think the world is going to blow up tomorrow or that aliens are plotting with President Obama and the Chinese to overthrow Luxembourg or any of the other crazy rumors you hear these days. I will also let you in on another secret. I am not all that anxious for the Lord to return. Let me tell you why. Most of the people that I hear today who are anxiously awaiting God's return are also broke down, busted and disgusted people. I don't want to be chased off this planet with my tail between my legs in Christ's return. I want to finish my course and when I have been successful at everything that the Lord has for me here, then and only then will I be ready to move to Heaven.
However, I do believe that we are getting close to the return of Christ. When will that be? The bible says that God hasn't even told Jesus the exact time. So if He hasn't confided the exact time in Jesus, I think it's a pretty safe bet that He isn't going to tell me either.
But I think I now understand what this whole concept of people being lovers of themselves means. It means they will be narcissistic. Is this a bad thing? Yes. Why am I bringing it up? Because being around these types of people can be extremely unhealthy and there are going to be more and more of them on the earth. If you are around friends who are like this, you may want to consider whether or not it makes sense to continue to hang around with them. Also, we all need to check ourselves from time to time to see if we are acting this way.
The reason I find this so interesting is because I have talked to several people lately who were in counseling sessions (no, I am not a counselor) with other people who were diagnosed with this problem. There is a healthy form of narcissism and I think we need to understand that it is OK to think about yourself and to take care of yourself. But what we are talking about here is an unhealthy situation.
So let me give you a few things that are characteristics of narcissism:
1. Like the title of the blog, for some people everything in their life has to be about them. They can never talk or do anything that doesn't relate to themselves. They also have to be first priority over everyone else.
2. Most of the time, they don't apologize when they do something wrong or their apology is a very sarcastic one. The reason this happens is that a narcissist believes their world is completely perfect and that they are perfect. They have a hard time understanding that it's OK to have imperfections. But like we have discussed before, no one is perfect.
3. They project anything negative onto other people. This sort of goes hand in hand with number 2. If someone tells them that they are wrong about anything, someone else is always to blame for them being wrong. For example, if you tell a narcissist that they were rude to a store clerk, the narcissist will always blame someone else for why they were rude.
4. They rarely have the ability to make anyone else happy unless they are completely happy.
5. Because they have to keep their world perfect, you cannot tell them that they are a narcissist because it would mean that they have an imperfection.
There are others and if you feel like someone in your life really has this problem, I encourage you to get the book with that title and read it.
So why am I telling you all this you ask? Because these types of people can be very draining. If you have friends like that, you might want to seriously consider whether or not the friendship is worth it. If we stay in friendships like that, they are very draining on us and can ultimately do us a lot of emotional harm.
But here is the other reason I wanted to write about this. I want you to take a look at those five items again. Now this is going to be very hard because if you have a problem, then it will be difficult for you to admit to this particular one. But I want you to ask yourself honestly if any of those things apply to you. I don't want you to be overly critical of yourself. Just because you came up with an excuse for something you did yesterday doesn't make you a narcissist. However, if you can't admit that you are wrong, you do have a big problem.
See I was like that for a long time in a couple of areas. I could not admit that I had a problem with food and I could not admit that I had a problem spending money. Both were true but this was especially true with money. I was a financial disaster. It hurt not only me but also my family and I could not admit to myself that I had a problem. Finally for me, I had an incident happen that actually woke me up.
That's another Opinion of the Minion
My advice is that if you have a narcicist in your life, tell them about Jesus and then pray for the person and yourself for Jesus to perfect His love and life in them and you. People who are selfish to a fault, often actually depise themselves and so they try to over compensate by making the outer world conform to them. However,when a person comes to know how much they are loved by Jesus and His Father and the Holy Spirit and how those three will take care of the narcicists inner most needs,then that offensive person becomes a vehicle of His/God's love instead of selfish... This does is a process and for someone to turn around a lifetime of habits, usually takes time but His grace is enough. Instead of reading the book on Narcism or at the very least after you read it, read the book of John and I,II and III John from the Bible, especially John 3:16 to your "friend." Put them in contact with the current day ministry of Joseph Prince. We will never be really loving, really caring about others as ourselves until the reality of Jesus and our personsal realationship with him becomes a reality to us and neither will anyone else. P.S. Be sure to read those things for yourself because if you are around someone who drains you, you need to be refilled with His love for you daily.
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