The Box

Hello everyone,

Today I reposted what I believe to be the most significant thing I have ever said.  The post is called, the Box.  Recently my girlfriend and I were discussing homosexuality and I will not discuss whether it is right or wrong.  You have a bible, find out for yourself.  But I do want to stress that hate for people of that lifestyle is totally wrong.  See our job isn't to judge it's to love.  If you look at thing's through the lense of the Box, it will change the way you look at people.  So, here's the Box.




I have given this a lot a of thought and I believe that the Lord showed me something that changed the way I view people.

You see, when God creates a person he gives them abilities, passions, desires, talents and all sorts of wonderful attributes that we seldom ever see. Then he takes all these things and puts them in a box with silver wrapping paper and very pretty red ribbon tied in a bow around it. He calls the box - You. It is a present to the world. When I saw this for the first time, I looked around at all the people walking by and said to myself, "Merry Christmas!" because all I could see were beautiful boxes waiting to be opened.

The problem is many people don't even know what is in their own box much less have taken the time to look in someone elses box. This starts when we are in school. As we grow up, we learn all kinds of new things about ourselves: what we like, what we don't, the changes that our bodies go through, we learn things in school about the world and we learn about social interaction. But sometimes that social interaction teaches us that the stuff in our box isn't all that important.

Have you ever felt like the stuff inside you doesn't really matter? Can you look back to a point in your life where you were doing something you really enjoyed and someone else called it or you stupid or worthless?

When you pull the most precious parts of your life out of the box and let other people see them, it is scary because you are definitely vulnerable at that point. But know this, the Lord put all those wonderful things inside and they are of great price and value. Don't let someone cheapen what is so precious by their comments.

Everyday, I see people who are alive but aren't living. I think it is because they have told themselves that the treasures in their box aren't important or worth much so they don't do anything with them. They may not have done this openly but below the surface it happens. You have to know that if God took the time to create you and put all those treasures inside you, they are important both to him and to me.

When was the last time you looked in your box and pulled out something you truly enjoyed and used it? When was the last time you opened the box? When was the last time you were passionate about anything? Are you so caught up in the rat race that your box isn't important any more?

Here is another interesting question - When was the last time you opened up someone else's box to see who they really are and celebrate the gifts inside them? Do you always know what is wrong with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids, friends, parents, family, coworkers but never look inside the box for what is so awesome about them?

Husbands, what would happen if instead of criticizing your wife, the next time you saw her, you decided to look at something that was so precious to her, so beautiful, so tender, so amazing and something she loved about herself? What would happen if you nurtured that gift and encouraged it to grow? What would happen if, after you opened her box, she decided that your box was the most special one on earth and decided to touch the core of who you are? What if you both decided to go deep in your relationship?

Boyfriends, what if you looked at her and decided that you wanted more than just what was inside her clothes, you wanted what was inside her heart. Girlfriends, what if you decided that you wanted the same thing? What if you wanted to explore who they are and make them the best person they could be while they did the same thing to you? What if you looked at them and asked, "What can I give?" instead of "What can I get?"

Is this a little intense? Yes. Is it worth it if just one person decides to open their box or open someone elses? Yes. You see, I believe that I got to see a little glimpse of the creation through the creator's eyes when He showed me this. It was truly an eye opening experience and I can definitely say I will never be the same. I got to see how He looked at and longs for His creation to be all that we can be and how His love for us goes so deep His heart aches for us.

So I guess the real question is what is in your box? I want to know.

That's the Opinion of His Minion

GIGO

Hello everyone,

Today I want to talk about something I relearned just recently.  It's the concept of GIGO.  "What does that mean," you ask.  It stands for Garbage In Garbage Out.

Let's think about computers for a minute.  We all know that two plus two equals four right.  Well what would happen if we programmed a computer to say that two plus two equals five?  If we did that, every time we asked the computer how much two plus two equals, it would tell us five.  And it would be wrong every time.  So what happened?  We put the wrong stuff in the computer and it gave us the wrong answer.  Guess what, it will consistently give us the wrong answer until we take the time to reprogram it.

So what did I relearn about this and why?  Well as you know, I normally talk about life and how to live it better.  I try to be very positive and upbeat about everything and most of the time I am.  Do you know why?  Because I try to feed on upbeat and positive stuff.  Now I'm not saying for one minute that I am perfect at it but as a rule, I don't allow my mind to feed on things that aren't edifying.

Now I can already hear some of you saying, "Well you must live in a dream world.  I bet your one of those people who can't see the bad stuff that is happening right in front of your face!"  Not so - I absolutely recognize that there is bad stuff going on around us.  But if I can't do anything about it, then I really don't want to hear much about it.  I stay informed about the issues to some extent but there have been more than one "crisis" that I completely missed out on because I didn't know it was happening.

Let me tell you one place I try to avoid - the evening news.  Do you know why?  Because it normally goes something like this: three stories about bad things happening to people locally, commercial, one more bad story, the weather, commercial, sports and then it's over.  What a waste.  I would pay money to see a news guy come on the TV and say, "Tonight folks, we really don't have anything news worthy to report so here is the weather (if you live in Texas in August, that's not necessary - we all know it's hot!) and the sports.  Now we are going to skip to Wheel of Fortune twenty minutes early."  Am I saying that you shouldn't watch the news?  Certainly not.  What I am telling you is to spend quality time focusing on good things in your life.

Let me tell you another example.  I have always had a can do attitude for the most part.  I believe that I can accomplish almost anything I set my mind to do.  For the most part, I have seen that come to pass in my life.  So answer this question - What do you say/think about yourself?  Do you say that you can't do it or that you are just too stupid?  The chances are you won't accomplish what you want because you are feeding yourself a lie and telling yourself you can't.  Here's the funny thing about a lie - If you say it long enough, you will start to believe it.  When that happens, you are in serious trouble.  Yet, on the positive side, when you confess that you can do it, you might not believe it at first but keep at it.  If you continue to feed your mind with the positive stuff, eventually it will come to pass.

I remember when I was 350 pounds.  I weighed that for several years.  Then one day, I started saying that I weighed 205 pounds and guess what - Nothing happened.  I still weighed 350 pounds.  I think I said I weighed 205 pounds for a year or two before anything changed but it did.  I finally lost the weight. 

So where did I have to re-learn the lesson?  Well, at the end of June of this year, the Lord instructed me to stop listening to country music and to listen to only christian music for the entire month of July.  Before anyone gets mad, I am not saying that country music is garbage but it is not as uplifting as christian music.  As a matter of fact, I still like country music and I listen to it a little now but the Lord was preparing me for a couple of trials that he knew I would face in July.  Both were definitely learning experiences for me.  See I needed to be extra careful what I was feeding my brain so that when the time came, I would be strong enough to handle what I faced.

Let me sum it up like this.  Your brain is an organ in your body.  What you feed it will definitely effect how it works.  Now I am not talking about physical food although that is important.  I'm talking about thoughts and words.  What you listen to and say about yourself will absolutely make a difference in your life.  So pay attention to what you feed it!  You're worth far too much!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Go To the Source

Hello Everyone,

I haven't posted in a long time and I apologize for that.  I made a comment several months ago about being bored and I have been busy since.

Over the last 18 hours I have been involved in a situation that prompted this post.  As the situation that I have watched would be extremely embarrassing to the people involved, I will not mention anything about this particular one.  I will say this though - I have no condemnation for anyone involved.  If you are reading this and you are involved, you know who you are.

So let me start with one simple question.  What do you do if you hear something bad about someone?  We all know people who like to gossip.  There are also people who tell you things just because they think you should know for some potential benefit to you - Read that just another excuse to gossip.  Well, here are my thoughts on what to do and not do.

1.  Don't go telling other people about a situation unless they need to be involved.  You don't need to tell your best friend (boys or girls) about something that you heard bad about someone else.  All you are doing is spreading the situation to more people and probably hurting some one's reputation in the process.  Did you know that the bible says that we are to love our neighbor like we love ourselves?  How do we do that?  Well one way we do that is by not running around telling people about all the bad things we have heard about other people.  See the bible also says love covers a lot of sins.  Now I am not telling you to keep your mouth shut if you know someone is in danger or has been abused.  In that case, go to someone who is in authority (your parents, a teacher you know or even the police if it is really serious) and tell them.  But your best girl friend or best buddy really doesn't need to know.

2.  Don't assume that just because you heard some rumor that it is true.  I believe it was in the 1950s when some guy on a radio in New York City started a rumor on the radio about alien invasions that caused a big panic.  It was just a joke but a lot of people got shook up over it.  Also, I remember when I was in high school and the boys started talking about sex.  I can tell you that 95% of what they said turned out to be untrue.  Be careful not to judge someone just because you heard a rumor about them.  That is a very dangerous thing to do and it can hurt people who don't deserve it.

3.  If it really doesn't concern you then just forget it and keep on moving.  Most of the time, when we hear things about our friends, we really don't need to know about it anyway.  If someone walks up to tell you something bad about your friend, you can choose not to listen at all.  After all, will it make you a better person to hear the rumor?  Will it help you be helpful to your friend?  Maybe but most of the time it won't.

4.  Lastly, if you must know something about the rumor or the story you were told, go to the source.  As many of you know, I have been divorced for about a year now.  Well, before I got divorced someone started a rumor that I was having an affair on my wife and it was completely untrue.  I never did anything like that.  This particular rumor got back to someone I am very close to and instead of spreading the rumor or calling someone else to verify what she heard (read that still just spreading the rumor), she called me.  It was a very loving act and I appreciate it to this day.  She will always have a special place in my heart.

So let me conclude with this.  Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will kill you.  Be careful what you say and hear about other people.  It is best just to let rumors drop and die when you hear them but if you must discuss it with someone, call the source and get it straight.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

The Minion Has a Dream

OK, my last post was all about day dreams or thoughts and how we need to be careful where we allow our mind to focus.  For many thoughts, I said that we need to keep them from running our mind.  So now it may sound like I am contradicting myself but I want to talk about allowing certain day dreams or thoughts that we want to run around in our mind until they do take root and cause us to change.

In my previous blog, I discussed thoughts that would lead to bad situations.  I have heard of people who want desperately to be married to each other.  The only problem is that they are both married to different people right now.  They begin to think so much about being with each other that eventually they do something that causes terrible pain in not only their own lives but the lives of others.  These situations start with a thought.
So let's spend a few minutes talking about thoughts that we should continue to think and mediate.  Let me give you an example of one..  I have said before that at one time I weighed 350 pounds.  That's pretty big right.  I was round almost.  I was 67" tall and 58" around.  That's not a good place.  Well several years before I lost any weight, I started seeing myself healthy.  I started seeing myself wearing slim clothes.  I could see myself water skiing and doing many other things.  I could see myself actually outside playing with my kids.  I even thought about what it would be like to be able to stand up, look straight down, and see my shoes. 

That sounds kind of crazy right?  Well I couldn't see my feet at that weight.  Here is a big one - I could see myself sitting on an airplane and not needing a seat belt extender.  I actually went as far as to start saying that I weigh 205 pounds.  Think about it.  That's totally ridiculous.  Now I didn't say this to other people.  I just said this to myself.  Did you know that is exactly what Abram did.  God changed his name from Abram to Abraham.  He was 90 years old and his wife was too.  They had no children and he started walking around saying I am the father of many nations.  Well guess what?  When you start lining your words and thoughts up with Gods, miracles happen.

Now, when I first started day dreaming about this stuff, nothing happened.  As a matter of fact, for several years everything stayed the same.  I didn't lose weight and I didn't exercise.  But one day, that vision became so big inside me that it started to change my actions.  I ultimately took this problem to the Lord and he delivered me from my addiction to carbohydrates.

Now this isn't some type of magic formula.  I didn't lose weight because I saw myself losing weight.  I lost it because God delivered me from carbohydrates and then I started eating right and exercising.  Remember, the only place that success comes before work is in the dictionary.  But what this did do for me was it gave me motivation.  I still had to do the work.  However as that vision of being skinny began to develop on the inside of me, gradually I wanted it more than I wanted pizza. 

What are your goals in life?  Those are things you should think about.  See yourself passing the chemistry test.  See yourself getting out of debt.  See yourself healed and whole.  When you start putting the right images in front of you, you will gravitate toward them.  Just like with the negative images, you will start to make your dreams a reality.

So if you aren't happy with some part of your life, maybe it's time to start getting a vision for where you want to go and what you want to be.  I know for me, I can get lost in the day-to-day grind of daily life and lose sight of what is really important.  I think I need to spend a little time working on my vision for my life today.

Thats' another Opinion of the Minion 

Impact

Today I want to talk to you about something important - impact.  Impact what you ask?  Not what but who.  Who's life do you impact?  Some people you know, some you would know if you thought about it and some you may never know this side of heaven but you do impact people's lives.  The question is how do you impact them?

We have all had situations where we did something we regret and it might have impacted someone in a very negative way.  While that is certainly unfortunate and we should all strive to avoid hurting people, I want to discuss how we impact people in a good way.

The first group of people we impact are people we impact their lives and we know it.  I recently found out that a friend of mine was having a really bad day.  I was able to do something for her that really cheered her up.  It was really cool because I knew she was hurting and I got to help brighten her day.  I also got to brighten two of her friends day at the same time.  It was a really fun thing to do.  So let me ask you, when was the last time you did something nice for someone?  When did you do something for someone just because you wanted to do a nice thing without hope of any type of payment?  Can you think of exactly what you did and when?  If it was longer than a week ago, you are long over due to help someone.  I apologize right now if this sounds like bragging.  If you know my heart, you know I don't ever want to brag on myself.  However, it is fun to be the person God uses to bless someone.  I had one day last week where I was able to bless several people on the same day.  It was really neat.  I even had the opportunity to do something nice for someone today.  That came with a huge payoff though.  The smile on that person's face made the whole thing worth while.

The next group of people are ones that you can impact in a positive way if you will just look around and pay attention.  I struggle with this group sometimes because I don't pay as much attention to others as I should.  Now everything you do for someone doesn't have to be a big thing.  Maybe its something small like seeing someone walking out of Starbucks with their hands full and opening the door for them.  I did that today.  Was it a big deal?  No.  Was it something nice for someone I didn't know?  Sure.

See, we all know what our friends and family need.  In many cases, because we are so close to that group, that we are intimately aware of what they need.  When we get a chance to help, we should.  But what about other people around us?  What about the guy in the wheel chair struggling up a hill.  I recently watched a guy go up a hill near my apartment.  I should have helped him but I didn't.  Look around you, there are people everywhere that need help, we just have to open our eyes and watch.

There is another group that we should pay close attention.  Unfortunately, we will never know who this group is.  Well, how can we pay attention to them if we don't know who they are?  We can pay attention to how we treat people in general and the example we set.  Whether you know it or not, people are watching you every day to see what kind of person you are.  Do you help people or do you hurt people.  Let me ask a question.  If you were the only Jesus someone ever saw, what would they think of Him?  That's a pretty sobering question and if you take it the wrong way, you can wind up in condemnation.  I don't want you to go there.  What if someone looked at the way you acted and said, "That person is just a great person.  If that is what Jesus is all about, count me in?"  That would be pretty cool huh.

Well, sometimes we can say a word of encouragement to someone and we will never know that they were encouraged.  Not too long ago, I was talking to a close friend of mine who happens to be my banker.  We were talking and he was telling me about a mutual friend of ours who now lives in Houston and is doing quite well.  Apparently several years ago, I was sharing with our friend about tithing and how it changed my life.  I learned that the true way to increase was to give.  That doesn't make sense right?  But it works.  Anyway I don't even remember talking about this with our friend but apparently he was inspired by what I told him and started tithing himself.  Now he is very successful and he told my banker friend that he remembered our conversation from several years ago even to this day. If I remember right, that pushed him over the top in the right direction.

So let me leave you with this.  You impact people around you all the time everyday.  It's up to you what you do with that opportunity.  You have the ability to do something nice for someone that will bless them and encourage them.

In this life, making a million dollars isn't important, making a difference is.

That's the Opinion of the Minion

Don't Quit Minion

Through this journey called The Opinion of the Minion, I have had the privilege of putting my opinions out there for people to read.  I continue to be baffled by the support you, the reader, have shown.  Again, I can't say thank you enough.  Today, my opinion is only two words but they are extremely powerful.

Don't Quit!

Don't quit what you ask.  Well I can't answer that question.  Only you know what you are going through.  But I know this.  Tough times don't last, tough people do.  Whatever you are facing in life, you can make it through.  Even if no one believes in you and even though I don't know most of you personally, I do believe in you.  How can you believe in someone you don't really know?  Well that's an interesting question.  I believed in God and His son Jesus before I knew them and my life has never been the same.  Also, sometimes it's easier for me to believe in someone I can't see than it is to believe in someone I know.  So from the bottom of my heart, that I do believe in you.

I want to tell you two stories.  The first is about my friend Al.  Al and I have known each other since middle school (for almost 30 years).  Now Al is one of those guys.  You know the type.  He's the guy that everyone likes.  He would literally give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.  I know because once I asked for a car (we called it the Tank) and he practically gave it to me.  He was a much better friend to me than I was to him growing up.

Now if you are in the mood to run someone into the ground verbally or when you get that real urge to gossip about someone, we all know the people who will pitch in and run others into the ground with us.  Al is NOT one of those people.  I think he would find something nice to say about the devil.  It's just the way he is.  So it shook me to the core several months ago when I found out that he had throat cancer.  We were only 39 at the time he found out and we are both only 40 now.  So Al went through the treatments and we hoped it was over.  But unfortunately, it wasn't.  We recently found out that there was more cancer to deal with and this stuff is really serious.  I won't share the details to protect his privacy but I will tell you that he has a beautiful wife and two great kids.

So last Saturday, I called Al.  After all, I write the Minion and the Lord uses to cheer other people up sometimes.  He uses me to help people feel better and if there was anyone I wanted to feel better, it was Al. When I finally got him on the phone, I was totally shocked at what happened.  I called to tell him to hang in there and try to encourage him but I never got the chance.  He was encouraging me and blessing me.  That's not the way it was supposed to go but Al's attitude floored me.  He said he had too much to live for and that he was planning on seeing his grand kids, etc.  I wanted to tell him, don't quit.  But that thought never entered his mind.  He started telling me stories about the other people he had helped.  Can you believe that!  Here this man is facing a very serious cancer situation and he is more concerned about helping others than what was going on with him.  It was a truly humbling experience.  I hope my heart is as big as Al's one day.

I posted on FaceBook about this a couple of days ago and the response astounded me.  Many of you are praying for Al.  I saw people from literally all over the world who were and I have no way to express my gratitude to you all.

So if you are in a hard place, don't quit.  God can see you through.

But maybe you aren't having it real tough right now.  So you look at this post and say, it really doesn't apply to you.  Not so fast.  Look around you.  There are people who need your encouragement.  If you are emotionally full, find someone to encourage.  Don't be discouraged if they don't receive it immediately.  Just keep at it.

I have a very special friend who is writing a book.  Now I have went so far as to day dream about the time when I will go to this person's book signing.  I can see this person's book published and this person receiving royalties for the book (no it's not my book).  I went as far as telling this person about what I say for them.  Now at first, I don't think this person could see what I saw and I got push back about thinking too big.  But then something amazing started happening.  This person is starting to believe that this will happen.  It's baby steps but it's going forward.  Watching confidence grow in this person is so rewarding.

So take a look around you.  Who needs your help?  Find some way to encourage them.  One day, you will be on the other side of this and need some encouragement yourself.  If you are on the other side, DON'T QUIT.  You can make it through the struggle.  God believes in you and I believe in you.  If you will decide to believe in you that makes three of us!  You can accomplish what you set out to do.

I have said it before and it's true again.  I have blogged myself happy.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

A Minion's Good Judgment

Today I want to deal with the subject of judgment.  Don't you just love to be around people who are always judging you or someone else?  Those are my favorite types of people.  Well not really.  I very much dislike being around them.  But let's talk about judgment for a minute.  If you have ever been to church, you have heard the quote from the bible, "Judge not lest ye be judged."  We have taken that to mean that when I am around someone who hurts me or does bad things to me, that I can't judge them right.  I think this is very true.  I cannot judge a person period.

But what I can do is judge their actions.  It's OK to judge a person's actions.  But what I think we really like to do is use judging a persons actions as a spring board to get to what is really fun - judging people.  See I caught myself doing that here recently and honestly I didn't really even know I was doing it.  But before I get to that, let me talk about some things its OK to judge.

Sometimes we are around people who use this don't judge people thing as a way to manipulate us and hurt us.  All the while, they are saying that you can't judge them.  What they are really saying is they want you to continue to allow them to treat you badly.  That's not OK.  If you are around someone who is constantly hurting you, their actions are wrong and that is what I am judging.  I am not saying they are a bad person.  However, don't let people manipulate you into doing what they want if it is wrong.

While I am at it, let me step on a few more toes.  If someone comes up to you and tells you in a loving and kind way that they think you are behaving wrongly, consider what they say.  I know some people who are very difficult to correct because they cannot take someone telling them they are wrong.  I personally like to know when I am wrong (this is not an open invitation for you to correct me).  Let me say that I only trust a few people to tell me I am behaving wrongly.  Most of the time, I listen to my heart and the Lord will correct me where I need correction.  Be thankful when someone does that for you, if you know they really love and care about you.  For me personally, I don't want to go around being wrong.  Have you ever had that dream where you are walking around in your underwear or worse and everyone is laughing at you?  Well that's a little drastic but I think when we walk around constantly behaving wrong in an area, that is exactly what we are doing.

So let me tell you about the wrong kind of judgment.  I know this guy who was extremely judgmental to certain people in his life.  As a matter of fact, he really didn't like having them around.  Why, because some of them did do things that hurt his feelings.  Some of them did nothing to hurt his feelings.  He was just judgmental.  Now I don't know if he was ever judgmental outright to these people's faces but he certainly was in his heart.  He didn't really do it on purpose but he couldn't separate judging a person and judging their actions.  See some of their actions needed to be understood.  In some ways they used him but didn't know it.  So what did he do in return.  He got mad and judged them personally.  He considered himself a pretty humble guy.  He didn't go around openly telling everyone that he thought he was smart or successful.  He didn't go around showing off how much money he made or what he had (although many people thought this was the case).  As a matter of fact, he quit showing people the cool stuff he got and he quit telling people about the cool things that happened to him because some people got jealous.

Regardless of what they did to him, he began to judge himself as better than them.  Now here is where it gets a little strange.  He didn't judge himself smarter, or more successful, or more educated than the people around him.  That would have been too obvious.  He judged worse than that.  He began to see himself as nicer than them.  He would look at his wife and see all the times that she did things that were not nice toward him and only consider the nice things he did for her.  He is to this day a giver and began to feel that people took advantage of that.  So he judged himself to be a nicer and therefore better person than many of the people around him.

OK let me give you three guesses on this guy's identity.  Do you really need three guesses?  Yup, you know it.  This guy is me.  It is a very humbling experience when the Lord shows you that you aren't really all that.  Now I quit judging people before I started writing for the most part but I didn't realize that I was doing it.  It's easy for me to hear people saying nice things about this blog and some of the other stuff I do.  I even have a good friend who told me she thought I was a great guy.  She didn't mean it as one of those blow off things.  This girl really puts me on a pedestal.  She sees things in me that I didn't know were there.  As a matter of fact, there was a certain thing about the Minion that happened that shocked me.  She said that she was surprised it took as long as it did.  So guess what, the Minion isn't all that.  I have already done this in private but I want to go on record in front of you and ask God to forgive me for being judgmental.  That is truly a terrible thing to do and I am ashamed of it.  If I have judged you wrongly instead of just judging your actions, please forgive me.

So let me ask you a question?  Where are you being like I was?  Where are you judging people?  I bet that somewhere you are judging them instead of their actions.  That has to stop.  Do you like to sit around and talk about other people?  That's called gossip and it's very judgmental.  We have to stop that.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Game On, Mr. Minion

Today I want to talk to you about being ready.  Being ready for what, you ask?  Well you will have to answer that question, I can't.  But let me explain what I am thinking.  Are you ready for the opportunities that cross your path.  If you met that special someone, are you ready?  If someone gave you the dream job of a lifetime, are you ready?  If someone was going to send you to the college of your dreams, are you ready?  Lastly, and most importantly, if you died tonight, are you ready?

See I think we spend way too much of our time complaining about our circumstances or pushing too hard to make things happen the way we want.  We are so focused on us that we aren't ready for the great opportunities that God places in our life.  Now let me say, that I don't believe that we should just sit around and wait for everything to fall in our laps.  That's not smart.  That's being lazy.  I'm talking about being ready when something comes along.

Let me illustrate this with a story of mine.  Sometimes God has divine appointments that you don't expect.  If we aren't ready when they do, we can miss the whole opportunity.  I go to Starbuck's at least once a day (please no comments about the actual number from my friends).  For several month's there was a certain lady that I wanted to talk to but never did.  This was primarily because I am a pretty shy guy most of the time.  I like being around people and most who know me are very comfortable around me but talking to a total stranger is not something I normally do.  Well, I always liked this girl's face because it looked so kind.  (To the girl who I am talking about - I know you will read this and yes you have a very kind face.  Turns out the personality matches the face.  Don't even think about arguing with me on this point!)  I saw her at Starbuck's for several weeks and never talked to her.

One day, I realized that I was never going to say anything to her because it really isn't in my nature to do this so I just forgot about it.  Well, two days later, I walked into a restaurant by my apartment and saw a guy I knew.  Guess who was sitting at the table with him?  Did you figure it out?  Yup, it was the girl from Starbucks.  Over the last few months, we have become good friends.  She is someone who's opinion I really value and she has really helped me through a tough time.  I think I have been able to do the same for her.  Just think, none of this would have happened if I hadn't walked into that restaurant that day.  That connection was the Lord's way of saying to me, "I've got a million ways to bring people into your life," and it really blessed me to hear that from Him.

When I would see her, I thought about trying to break the ice and say hello but I never did.  Then when I finally decided to let it go, things worked out on their own.  Now this is about a friendship but it applies in all areas of our life.  Where are you pushing hard to accomplish something.  Where are you getting so worked up and stressed out?  Is it possible that while you are trying to figure out how to make something happen in your life that you can't see God setting you up to bless you?  Where are you so focused on someone who is a negative influence in your life that you can't see that amazing person who wants to be part of your life?  Stop and look around.

While I try very much not to preach in these Opinions, I must ask this one thing.  If you were do die tonight, are you ready?  Well, you might say, "I go to church."  That's not what I asked.  You might say, "I'm a good person."  Again, that's not what I asked.  What I am asking you is have you ever met Jesus and made him Lord of your life.  He is a very close personal friend of mine.  He is a real person that you can touch.  Guess what - No matter what you have done in this life, He deeply passionately loves you.  As I write this, I am thinking about His love and it brings tears to my eyes.  He's out to get you but not in a bad way.  He wants to love on you.  He wants to help you.  He will never give up on you and never quit you.  He knows your secrects and His love sees right past that to the inside of the Box He created.  I am not asking you to join a church or become part of a denomination, I am asking you if you have met my Jesus.  If the answer is no, would you please consider praying this simple prayer.

Just say, "Jesus, I ask you to come into my life.  I ask you to be my friend and show me your love for me.  I ask you to be my Lord and Savior."

If you prayed that prayer with your heart, you just became my brother or sister.  Welcome to the family!  Please let me hear from you.  Knowing you made that decision will be the best thing I hear today.

If you didn't pray that prayer, know this that God loves you very much and because He first loved me, I can honestly say that I care about you too.

That's the Opinion of His Minion

Actions Speak Louder than Words

I want to talk to you today about a subject that can be really confusing.  What does it mean when someone says one thing and does something else?  I have always been a firm believer that actions speak much louder than words.  Have you ever been around someone who told you that they liked you and then did something mean to you?  That person's actions certainly tell a different story than the words they gave you.

Maybe more importantly, have you ever let your actions speak louder than your words in a bad way or in a good way?

Let me illustrate what I mean by talking about my granddad.  SR was one of the greatest men, I have ever had the privilege of knowing.  I have never met a more caring man with a softer heart than him.  My granddad didn't preach at you about what was right or wrong, he just lived in front of you everyday doing the right thing.  He was always there when you needed him and never was critical of what you did.  He was always ready to lend a helping hand.

I really didn't know this about him growing up but he read his bible a lot.  He never ever preached at me with words but he was always preaching at me with actions.  He was the kind of man who was there for you when you needed him.  Have you ever been around someone who says, "Call me if you need me"? Yet when you actually call because you need them, they come up with some excuse why they can't help.  They say they are there for you but their actions speak much louder than their words?  Well I my granddad was the opposite.  I don't ever remember him saying to call if I needed him but he always came when I did.

Granddad loved to play with us when we were growing up.  One of my fondest memories was the time we built a wooden tool box for me.  I couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 when we did and I still have it today.  I wasn't supposed to paint it until he and I could do it together because he was going to show me how to do it right.  But I got too impatient and did it on my own.  I painted it candy apple red and put wooden signs on it.  Looking back now, I realized that his actions were speaking much louder than words and his actions in my life had a much larger impact than anything I ever remember him telling me.

Many of you who are Minion fans on Facebook are young girls so I want to take a minute to talk to you about when actions and words aren't the same.  Girls, if you don't have a boyfriend yet, you will soon enough (this applies to guys as well).  Often, guys will tell you anything they want you to hear just to get something from you (I am going to keep this PG rated but I bet some of you can think of other stuff).  The boys say nice things about you or show you attention and they aren't really concerned about you, they are concerned about getting whatever they want.

As you get a little older, people start throwing around the big L word.  Let me tell you something, just because a guy or a girl tells you that they love you, doesn't mean that they do.  If you are around a guy who constantly tries to control you, who isn't interested in the great things in your box, who only wants to have his needs taken care of but tells you all the time that he loves you.  Guess what?  HE DOESN'T.  His actions are speaking much louder.  One of the most basic needs that people have is to love and be loved.  There is nothing wrong with this.  There is everything right with it.  It is the way God created us.  But that word can be used to control and manipulate you to doing something you don't want to do because you want him or her to love you when they really don't.  On that subject, if you want to know whether or not a guy or girl loves you, look at what they do much more than words.  Love is giving, it doesn't think of itself first, it is kind, it genuinely cares about others.

Look around your life.  When someone tries to steer you away from doing the things that you like to do, that isn't love.   If he or she really loves you, they will want you to pursue the things that interest you and not simply pursue the things that interest them.  When I say that love gives, let me be clear.  Giving doesn't just mean stuff.  Giving means having him or her give you their time.  Girls, if he says he loves you but doesn't take an interest in what you do, question what his definition of love really is.

Remember this respect is something that should be given but trust is something at must be earned. 
Also understand I am not talking about one specific time when some one's actions and words don't agree, I am talking about when their actions and words don't agree over a long period of time. Everyone makes mistakes occasionally and if some one does, forgive them. You would want them to forgive you if you made a mistake. But if their actions are constantly different than their words, you've got a problem.



Oh, and here is something I almost forgot - What story does your action tell?  Are you the person who always says one thing and does another?  Or are you the person who is always there for someone else?  Be honest and if you need to make changes in you, then do it.  In many ways, I wish I could be more like my granddad.  I want to be more caring.  I want to help more people.  I want to be more sincere, honest, loyal and trustworthy.  How about you?

And that's the Opinion of the Minion

Word Up

I want to take a few minutes to talk about words.

Have you ever heard the saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me"?  That couldn't be farther from the truth - words can help or hurt a lot.  Are you ever around someone who has nice things to say about you?  Chances are if that person continually has good things to say about you, you will want to be around them.  If someone is always saying negative things then you will want to stay away from them.

Also, take notice of something.  Words have a cumulative effect.  If I tell you something nice once and then tell you something not nice 100 times, the 100 times far outweighs the once.  The opposite is also true, if I tell you good things regularly and then I have something not so good to say, you might be OK with what I say.

What we say to others is extremely important.  I am involved with a couple of situations right now where I cannot physically be of much help.  All of these situations are tough because I care about the people involved but I can't take charge of the situation.  So let's go back to one of my favorite questions, "What can I do to help?"  I wish I would ask that question more often.

As I was sitting thinking about one of these situations, I was watching re-runs of one of my favorite TV shows, "Lois and Clark."  Shock and surprise, I like Superman.  Well in this particular episode, Lois and Clark (Superman) were both trapped in separate cages that would blow up if Superman tried to save the day.  At this point in the series Lois knows Clark is Superman and they are dating.  Superman tells her with heart wrenching certainty that he wishes he could touch and hold her.  Now while I don't necessarily put much faith in TV shows as far as how to live real life, what Lois said next was inspiring.  She said that she knew how Superman could touch her - with his words.

Whether you believe it or not, that is absolutely the truth.  We do touch people with our words.  Let me give you a couple of examples of people who have touched me with their words.  They may never know how deeply what they said meant but all these things helped build me up.

1.  My daughter, K, told me one time that I should become a certain thing because she saw me practicing a skill that I really enjoy.  I am not very good at it but it really made me feel good.

2.  In my own life, I have been going through a particularly tough situation.  I was talking just yesterday to a certain friend of mine, BT.  Now most people I know say that I am not handling this situation right because they would do it differently.  It's not that I am doing anything wrong.  Most people think I am letting another person use me.  In this case, I know I am doing the right thing and I just wanted someone to see that.  Well, BT told that in all his years of being in the banking business that he had never even heard of anyone doing what I was doing.  He told me that I was doing the right thing and that God would reward me for doing it.  I already know that but it was so nice to hear that from someone.  I certainly don't say any of this to brag about what I am doing.  I want you to see that your words can really make a difference.  When he told me that yesterday, it almost brought me to tears.  I was so touched.

3.  When I first posted "The Box", my friend LM and my cousin AB, both reposed the link on their wall with some really great things to say.  It was very encouraging.  They don't know this but both of them are huge drivers behind the Opinion of the Minion.

4.  There is a particular fan of the Minion, KS, who said something to me that was just astonishing.  She said that after reading the first two of my posts, she was hooked.  She went on to say that I was a wonderful writer and that she looked forward to reading more of what I write.  I don't think of myself as a writer at all.  I have a good friend who is a writer but not me.  I am just putting my thoughts on cyber paper.  This person has a much nicer looking blog than the Opinion of the Minion and has great writing skills of her own.  For her to say that to me, really blessed me.

5. I have another friend, J, who is always saying good things to me and that is one of the reasons I like hanging around with this person.  J has said many nice things.  One particularly felt good.  J said I was polite and sincere.  Those things mean a lot because this world is full of insincere people.  I try to be a very sincere person and it was nice that J saw this inside my box.  J also told me about a time when I was able to use words to help her.  That felt good.

6.  See, we don't really know when we say something good to someone what effect it will have.  Just because you don't see any outward change doesn't mean something isn't changing on the inside.  That same friend of mine, BT, told me a story that I certainly don't remember about how part of my personal testimony changed some one's life.  See, I was telling them what I went through and being an encouragement to them and I never even knew about it until ten years later.



Now let me caution you on a couple of things.

First, never compliment someone by saying something you don't believe.  If you do, it will come across as insincere and have the opposite effect of the one you want.  Remember, if you don't believe it, you can't tell it.  If you think someone is pretty tell them so.  Just this morning I saw a lady in Starbucks that I know who is old enough to be my mom.  I really liked the shirt she was wearing and I told her so.  You should have seen the smile on her face.

If you don't thinks someone is nice don't lie and tell them you do.  But what you had better do is take a few minutes and study them.  If you do, you will find that there is something about them you can compliment that you really believe and they will appreciate it.  Let me challenge you with this.  Try to find one person a day and give them a compliment.  Here is what will happen when you do - If it is sincere, they will appreciate it.  Now here is the surprise part of it - You will feel great for doing it.

Second, and I see this one a lot, let someone compliment you.  My friend J and I have this in common, sometimes we both struggle when someone gives us compliments.  I used to shrug them off and down play them because I had a person in my life at one time who got jealous of them.  I think I finally have J trained on the very profound speech you should give to someone who pays you a compliment.  It's quite lengthy but it is very important so let me go into how to receive a compliment.

A. If someone is sincere, let it make you feel warm inside.  That is what it is supposed to do.  Stop for a split second and just enjoy the fact that someone recognized something great inside you.  Don't try to downplay it.  Just relax and let it bless you.

B.  OK now here is the long part.  How do you respond to someone who says something nice to you?  You have to give them this little speech I prepared for the occasion.  Are you ready?

You say - "Thank You."  Really profound stuff huh.  That's it.  Don't make some excuse why you shouldn't be given the compliment.  Just say thank you.

So let me leave you with a summary thought.  We should all be looking out for ways to use our words to touch people's lives in a positive way.  Many times you won't even know all the good you do.  Then when someone touches you with their words, enjoy it and say thank you.

And that's the Opinion of the Minion