A Time to Rest

Hello again everyone.  Today I want to talk about rest.  Before I go into this post, let me say I am not taking my own advice right now.  It seems to me that with the technological advances, we are busier now than ever before.  We might not work sun up to sun down behind a plow like they did 150 years ago but we are still very very busy.

I see it everywhere.  When I was a kid, we played little league baseball and it ran for a couple of months (probably April to June) and if you made the All-Star team it ran a little longer.  Now baseball is a year round sport.  There's fall ball, winter ball, select teams, little league, etc.  It's not just baseball, it's every sport.  In the interest of competition the schedules are much more demanding.  For the kids this is great but for parents it requires more and more running.  You can drive over a hundred miles a day in Texas just running kids back and forth to practices, etc.

Before I get any ugly responses, let me say that I am a sports fan and I enjoy watching our kids.  But you need to count the costs of all those activities.  No, I don't mean the monetary costs although those are important.  I am talking about the time costs.  You see, while every one of these events on their own is really great, we have to be careful that the sum of the events doesn't run us down.  What is the cost of time spent doing anything on the relationships that are important.

Last week, my wife and I were so busy running kids, working, taking care of the house, doing our gym work outs and the list goes on that I rarely saw her at all.  When I did we were rushing off to another event!  Now I am complaining about going, I just began to notice that I was getting tired.  How did I know?  Well, one night my wife and I were in the kitchen talking about the new toll road in Fort Worth.  We were discussing how we seldom see the police on the other major roads but that they were definitely handing out extra tolls on that road every day.  That turned into an argument and we were in agreement on the issue!  Fortunately it wasn't a major argument and we only argued for about a minute before my wife said, "Why are we arguing about this?" and it stopped but it let me see that I was really getting tired.

So let me ask you this.  Are you feeling yourself frustrated and tired a lot?  If so, what type of toll is it taking on your friends and family around you?  Are you short with people you love?  Have you found yourself so busy that you don't have time to read your bible and be alone with God?  If the answer is yes, then let me suggest that you take a minute and re-evaluate where you are spending your time.  It is important to get things done but at what cost?  Are there things you really need to cut out of your daily schedule?  Don't try to keep up with what everyone else is doing.  Run your race.  You'll be glad you did.

And that's another Opinion of the Minion

Focus

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to talk about focus.  Where do you focus the majority of your thoughts?  Do you consider all the bad things going on in the world today?  Do you consider something bad that's going on at school or in your personal life?  Wherever you put your focus, there you will ultimately go.  Let me give you a few examples.

In the Bible, there was a guy named Job.  Now he was a really rich guy and had several sons and daughters.  Interestingly enough he was very afraid that they were saying awful things about God or sinning in some way.  So what did he do?  He offered sacrifices just in case they might have sinned for them everyday (I think it was every day but if not, it was very often.).  Guess what happened?  Ultimately the things that he was afraid of, the things where he put his focus, came upon his children.  Am I saying that Job caused this, nope.  The Bible said it.

Let's shift gears a little.  How many of you have every ridden a motorcycle?  Several years ago, I got my license with a friend of mine, JC.  Now he rode all his life so he was a natural.  Me?  I looked like someone who needed training wheels for his motorcycle and I still do.  I much prefer a four wheeled motorcycle with leather seats, a good air conditioning system and plenty of room.  I think those are called cars.  Anyway, when I was learning to ride, they taught us how to turn.  What we were told was to look where we wanted the bike to go, not where the bike was going.  So we would focus on where we wanted the bike to go and it would go that way.

Let me give you one more example and I will make my point.  The other day, I was thinking about my company and about being an employee.  I run my own company and we do a lot of Oil and Gas work.  As some of you may know, the price of oil has dropped a lot lately and that has caused some slowness in the industry.  I was worrying a little about my business and whether we would be able to sustain our growth even though I knew that the Lord started this business and I knew he was watching it and causing it to grow.  The problem was my focus was on the price of oil and how drastically it could impact my business.  I wasn't focused on where I wanted it to go or what the Lord said about it.

I started thinking about being an employee and how easy it must be to just go to work and do your job.  After that, an employee collects his or her paycheck and that's it.  I started feeling a little sorry for myself thinking about how they don't have to worry about whether or not the check will cash (most of the time) and how easy that must be.  Now my business is really fine but I wasn't focused there.  That's when the word of the Lord came to me.  He said something like, "You should be like those employees you are thinking about.  If you would just keep your eyes on Me and roll the care of it over on Me, things would be much better for you!"

That's what I did.  I put my focus back on my faith in God and what He is doing in our business.  Immediately, I could see where things were going and how good things really are for us!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Box Revisited

Hello Everyone,

This is one of the first posts I ever created and I think that every once in a while I should repost it because it was so profound to me.



I have given this a lot a of thought and I believe that the Lord showed me something that changed the way I view people.

You see, when God creates a person he gives them abilities, passions, desires, talents and all sorts of wonderful attributes that we seldom ever see.  Then he takes all these things and puts them in a box with silver wrapping paper and very pretty red ribbon tied in a bow around it.  He calls the box - You.  It is a present to the world.  When I saw this for the first time, I looked around at all the people walking by and said to myself, "Merry Christmas!" because all I could see were beautiful boxes waiting to be opened.

The problem is many people don't even know what is in their own box much less have taken the time to look in someone elses box.  This starts when we are in school.  As we grow up, we learn all kinds of new things about ourselves: what we like, what we don't, the changes that our bodies go through, we learn things in school about the world and we learn about social interaction.  But sometimes that social interaction teaches us that the stuff in our box isn't all that important.

Have you ever felt like the stuff inside you doesn't really matter?  Can you look back to a point in your life where you were doing something you really enjoyed and someone else called it or you stupid or worthless?

When you pull the most precious parts of your life out of the box and let other people see them, it is scary because you are definitely vulnerable at that point.  But know this, the Lord put all those wonderful things inside and they are of great price and value.  Don't let someone cheapen what is so precious by their comments.

Everyday, I see people who are alive but aren't living.  I think it is because they have told themselves that the treasures in their box aren't important or worth much so they don't do anything with them.  They may not have done this openly but below the surface it happens.  You have to know that if God took the time to create you and put all those treasures inside you, they are important both to him and to me.

When was the last time you looked in your box and pulled out something you truly enjoyed and used it?  When was the last time you opened the box?  When was the last time you were passionate about anything?  Are you so caught up in the rat race that your box isn't important any more?

Here is another interesting question - When was the last time you opened up someone else's box to see who they really are and celebrate the gifts inside them?  Do you always know what is wrong with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids, friends, parents, family, coworkers but never look inside the box for what is so awesome about them?

Husbands, what would happen if instead of criticizing your wife, the next time you saw her, you decided to look at something that was so precious to her, so beautiful, so tender, so amazing and something she loved about herself?  What would happen if you nurtured that gift and encouraged it to grow?  What would happen if, after you opened her box, she decided that your box was the most special one on earth and decided to touch the core of who you are?  What if you both decided to go deep in your relationship?

Boyfriends, what if you looked at her and decided that you wanted more than just what was inside her clothes, you wanted what was inside her heart.  Girlfriends, what if you decided that you wanted the same thing?  What if you wanted to explore who they are and make them the best person they could be while they did the same thing to you?  What if you looked at them and asked, "What can I give?" instead of "What can I get?"

Is this a little intense?  Yes.  Is it worth it if just one person decides to open their box or open someone elses?  Yes.  You see, I believe that I got to see a little glimpse of the creation through the creator's eyes when He showed me this.  It was truly an eye opening experience and I can definitely say I will never be the same.  I got to see how He looked at and longs for His creation to be all that we can be and how His love for us goes so deep His heart aches for us.

So I guess the real question is what is in your box?  I want to know.

That's the Opinion of His Minion

Toothpaste

Hello Everyone,

It's been quite a while since I wrote anything but today I want to talk about toothpaste.  Toothpaste comes in all different sized tubes and in more flavors than I can count.  There is wintergreen, spearmint, peppermint, and the list goes on and on.  Now I am not sure about how it comes packaged in other parts of the world but in the United States, most of the time it comes in squeeze tubes with a screw on cap.  The tubes are normally bright colors to make you feel good about using their brand and to make their brand look good.  It's supposed to be pretty important stuff because it helps us keep our teeth and gums in good health.  I can't remember how many times my mom asked if we had brushed our teeth before we went to bed.  As a grown up dad of five, I can't count how many times I have asked the same thing to ours.

So why am I talking about toothpaste?  It's because we humans have a lot in common with that tube.  At a factory somewhere, there are machines and people that put the toothpaste in the tube but did you ever notice that you don't really know what's in the tube until you take the cap off and squeeze the tube?  You can't see through the tube normally.  As I said a minute ago, you can see the outside of the tube and it may look great but you can't see the inside.

Some of you have probably figured out where I am going with this.  See, we can't really know what's inside a person until there is pressure put on that person.  It's when the pressure comes from all sides and starts to really squeeze that we get to see what's really inside their "tube."  We are all the same way.  We can look great on the outside but have real trouble on the inside.  But let me tell you this.  Whatever you put down on the inside of you is going to come out in words when the pressure is on.  Just like that factory, if you put God's word in your heart and you meditate on it regularly, that Word will come out of your mouth when you get into a tough situation.  If you're putting negative thoughts and ideas down in your spirit then those same negative things will come out of your mouth under pressure.

Let me ask you this.  What kind of toothpaste is on the inside of you?  Is it good thoughts?  Is it based on the Word of God?  Is it something that will help you when the tough times come?  Or are you saying things to yourself like, "I'll never make it.  My dreams won't come true.  I'm not good enough.  I'm not pretty enough.  I'm not smart enough."  If you are doing that, then stop because those negative thoughts are lies.  You are good enough, smart enough, pretty enough and God can make your dreams come true.

Let me end it with this.  Check out what's on the inside of your tube because the pressure will come and it will come out.  If you don't like what's there, then change it.  It's not hard.  Get a good Bible and start feeding on what God says you are and what God says you can do.  Then when the pressure comes, you will start using the words of your mouth to bring you out of that situation and into the place God has for you.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Random Acts and Bank Accounts

Random acts, we've all seen them on the news.  Someone gets mad at someone else in traffic and communicates something ugly.  Someone else comes home from a bad day at work and yells at their kids.  Someone else gets really upset and punches someone out.  This list could go on and on.  So what do they have to do with bank accounts you might ask?


Well I am not talking about the bank account you have at Bank of America or Citibank.  I'm talking about people.  Did you know people are like bank accounts.  Every time you do something negative to them, their emotional account gets lower.  Every time you do something positive to someone, it goes up. 


Let me try to illustrate this.  Last week when I went to pick up three of our five kids, our youngest daughter was having a fit.  She was going to get to go where we were because she was sick and it wasn't a good idea.  Now she is 9 years old but was acting more like 9 months and having a toddler fit.  This particular day, I did not have a great day at work.  To top it all off, I was late to get the other two boys to swim practice.  So what did I do?  I did the "natural" thing to do - I lost my temper.  Now I don't really have a bad temper but I did get really mad (for me) at my daughter.  I was so mad, I was raising my voice at her and she was yelling at me. 


It ended with me spanking her and her still throwing a fit.  At one point, she said some really mean things to me.  Because I am her dad and she is a child, the things she said didn't really bother me.  After all, she is only nine.  Her behavior was in appropriate so I corrected it but what if she was 20 years older and said she hated me?  It could really hurt my feelings and damage my self esteem.  Now this wasn't premeditated, it was a random act that could have really drained my emotional bank account.


Let me tell you another random story.  Most of you know that I am from Texas and I still believe in saying ma'am and sir.  I think it's polite and I like it.  It's a way for me to show someone respect.  Now the other day, I was in a Starbucks in a different state (if you know me that's a shock right?).  The person behind the counter asked me a question and I said, "Yes ma'am."  However for a split second, I was mortified because there was a distinct possibility that I just said yes ma'am to a guy.  It would have been a totally insulting thing to do.  Fortunately, it turned out to be a girl so I was safe.  Again a random act but it could have definitely hurt some one's feelings.  That could have definitely drained that person's emotional account.


Up to this point, everything I have discussed centers around not hurting someone and draining their account.  I suppose I could stop right now and say that it's best to be careful that we don't hurt other people and that is certainly true.


But I want to take a minute and talk about the other side of the ledger.  If you take $100 to your bank and deposit in your savings account what happens?  Your account balance goes up right?  So what if we took that same approach and started adding to other people's emotional accounts instead.  When was the last time you walked up to a total stranger and given them a compliment?  Are you too shy for that?  Well let me ask you this.  How would it make you feel if someone in line at Starbucks that you didn't know (assuming you are a lady) that you really looked nice in the dress you were wearing?  How would it make you feel?  How about if you told someone you work with thank you for doing a good job on something?  It's going to make their account balances go up.


So let me encourage you in this today.  Try to find someone and give them a random act of kindness.  Be careful though.  Because whatever you do to someone, it will be done to you.  If you start giving out random acts of kindness, sooner or later, they are going to start coming back to you!


That's another Opinion of the Minion

Pressure Your Pressure

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to talk about something that has been in my spirit for a little while.  Are there things in your life that you are believing God to make happen?  Maybe you are trying to lose weight, get out of debt or make better grades.  It's possible you are dealing with something even much more serious - a loved one who you want to know Christ, deliverance from drugs or something else.  That's what I want  to deal with today.

Have you ever worked hard on something and don't really see results?  You say, I have tried to study more or I have tried to lose that weight and no matter what I do, it won't come off?  Are you feeling pressured to quit the diet, quit studying, stop believing for your loved one?  Well we have all been there.  I know I have.  That pressure is really heavy right?  On top of that, nothing seems to be moving right?

Well there is a law in physics that says something like every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  When you push down on a table, the pressure you put on it will actually cause you to rise.  But if you increase the pressure you are putting on that table, it may look like nothing is happening.  So you push down some more and still nothing happens.  Then you push even harder and nothing happens.  You keep increasing the pressure and finally you hear the table legs start to creek and this encouragement causes you to put even more pressure on the table.  Why hasn't the table broken?  It is putting as much pressure back on you as you are putting on it.

But at some point, if you keep increasing the pressure, the table will buckle.  One minute you are pushing on it and it is pushing back on you.  The next minute the table is not able to exert enough pressure back on you to stand and it falls.

That's the way it is with the problems in life.  The reason we don't see immediate victory is because our problems are pressuring us but guess what, there is no movement.  That means we are putting pressure on our problem!  If we keep it up, sooner or later, the problem will buckle because it can't handle the pressure you are putting on it.

So I want to encourage you.  If you are trying to loose weight, keep at it.  You might not see the results you want immediately but keep pressuring your pressure.  Those pounds will come off.  If you want to get out of debt, keep the pressure on your debt.  It will leave.

If you are using your faith and believing God to bring a loved one into the kingdom or something else in your life then keep at it.  To use a line from a song I heard the Crabb family sing, "Just hold on.  My God will show up and He will take you through the fire again!"

Well, I've blogged myself happy again.  That's another Opinion of the Minion.

To Fear or Not to Fear

Hello everyone, 

Today I want to talk about fear.  Now we could discuss all kinds of phobias and it seems like there is a phobia for almost everything.  There is even phobia of success.  Can you believe it!  If you Google it, there are a lot of things to say about it.  There's also the fear of failure which is the opposite.  We run around a lot wondering about what happens if we fail.  What happens if we try out for something and don't make it?  Most of the time, nothing really bad happens.  We might get embarrassed if we fail or we might not get something we had our heart set to do.  But other than that, what negative really happens?

Let me ask you this.  What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?  Would you become a professional athlete?  Maybe you would run for President or run some big corporation.  I am digressing from my topic for tonight so I will save this discussion for another day.

Let's talk about fear itself.  It can grip us and stop us in our tracks.  Some people believe that a little fear is healthy for you.  That's almost as intelligent as saying a little cancer is healthy for you or a few broken bones are good for you.  After all, they might teach you something right?  Nope.  A little fear is not good for you because fear connects you to the devil and that's not a connection you need to make. 

Now I can hear some of you saying, "Well Mr. Minion, the Bible says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."  Yes, there are some translations of the Bible that use those words but what it really means that the reverence of the Lord and the respect for the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  It doesn't mean that being terrified of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  For the record, God doesn't want you to be afraid of Him.  That thought is just plain ridiculous.  Are any of you parents?  Are any of you in a relationship?  Do you want your children, spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend to be afraid of you?  Of course not,  I have five children and I don't want any of them to be afraid of me, not even a little bit.

If you think about it for a few minutes, we use the word fear a lot and can make connections to it.  Have you ever said, "That scared me to death?"  how about sayings like, "That ____ will be the death of me yet?"  Some people even sit around and talk about all the bad things that can happen to them.

So is fear a good thing?  Not on any level.  So if fear is so bad for you, what's the opposite of fear?  The answer is faith.  Faith in what?  First and foremost, faith in God.  Second faith in yourself.  Third faith in the plan God has for your life.  When you turn from fear, you're left with faith.  

I can already hear some of you saying, "Well what about what's going on right now in my life?  What if it doesn't work out?"  Not too long ago, I was afraid of losing my job and I was afraid that my new wife wouldn't care for me anymore.  That she might even not want to be with me anymore.  That fear was gripping.  But here's what I finally realized.  Regardless of what she did or didn't do, God would be with me.  He will see me through to the place of victory he has for me.  For those of you who know me personally, you should know that my wife has very strong moral character and I truly believe that she is deeply in love with me and committed to me.  The only thing that freed me from it's grip was to turn to faith in God.  If all those bad things happened, I would still be OK.  

But one thing I learned while sitting in that fear was that I didn't enjoy life.  I was sitting at a place watching everyone around me having a good time and I wasn't.  Why?  Because that fear had a grip on me.  Once I got out of that grip through faith, I started having a good time again.  So if your at this place right now, let me encourage you.  Take a step out of fear and take a step of faith!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Fight or Flight

Hello everyone,

This post might not apply to everyone but today I want to talk about your fight or flight reflex.  This is really something I probably already knew but it's something that I have realized about myself recently.  I don't know where I heard this but I have heard it several times lately.  When we face fear or some unpleasant situation, there is a reflex that kicks in almost immediately.  We either want to fight the situation or we want to run away from the situation.  

Before I tell you what I learned, let me say that to go to either extreme is not a wise decision.  There are times when you should fight and there are times when you should simply walk away.  In the words of my mom's favorite Kenny Rogers song, "You've got to know when to hold'em.  Know when to fold 'em.  Know when to walk away and know when to run."  I will soon describe what I have learned about my flight mechanism but before I do, let me say that there are going to be times when you should run away from the problem.  If you find yourself confronted with a gun and you don't have one, RUN. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, ladies RUN.

But what if you just find yourself in a hard place?  For me, I used to shy away from conflict.  It has taken me several years to realize that this was me running from problems.  I didn't want to hurt any one's feelings and I didn't like when people hurt mine so I would just avoid the conflict.  In some ways, I reasoned that it was easier to just keep walking.  Now if someone calls you a name, that is the best thing to do.  If you don't like the way they treat you, then just keep walking.

But what if the person you don't like is your husband or wife?  Or what if that person is someone who works for you?  Maybe that person is your boss.  You can't just run away from everyone of those types of issues.  Just recently in my own life, I was faced with a situation where my wife did something that I didn't like.  The easiest thing for me to do would have been just let it go and say nothing.  Now we both do that for each other regularly and that's part of a healthy relationship.  But in this case, it was something that really bothered me.  I could sense myself getting mad at her and I noticed that because I hadn't talked with her about this one thing, almost any little thing she did would aggravate me much more than it should.  That's when it finally hit me that I was trying to run from a situation that I needed to address.  Now here's the amazing part of this story to me.  As soon as I recognized what was going on inside me, the little things that were trying to annoy me disappeared!  I was perfectly fine waiting to talk with her about it until we had time.  Here's another thing, as it turned out, it was just a misunderstanding between us.  This particular issue wasn't a big one at all but it did teach me that I need to identify places where I am trying to fly when there are times that I need to fight.

So that's another Opinion of the Minion

Take the Test

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to talk with you about test taking.  We all love to take tests right?  Well I normally don't.  They are a lot of work and what happens if we fail.  We can get a bad grade and if we fail too many times, we have to take the whole class over.

How many of you have a driver's license?  If you do, there is a very good possibility that you had to take a test before you were given one.  In Texas, I took Driver's Education class, I practiced and then I took the test with someone riding in the car with me.  I will never forget that day.  I believe it was my 16th birthday.  It was the very first day that I could take the test and I was sooo excited.  I couldn't wait to get my parents out of the car and hit the road on my own.  It was a day of great achievement.  I could finally drive my mom's 1975 Oldsmobile Omega by myself.  We called this car the splotch because it was many different shades of ugly green.

On that very memorable day, I pulled out of the parking lot with the Department of Public Safety officer in the passenger seat giving me directions.  I was a little nervous but that was OK.  One of the first things he asked me to do was parallel park and I did almost as badly as you can do and still not completely fail the test.  I hit the curb with the car sticking out into the street.  It was bad but not catastrophic yet.  We pulled away from there and drove across Jacksboro Highway into a nearby neighborhood and went through the rest of the test.  I got a couple of points taken off due to the way that I backed down the street and I ended up with a 77 on the test.  It wasn't pretty but it worked!  I had a driver's license.

But what would have happened if I failed the test?  Guess what, I would have taken it again at the next available time and continued over and over until I passed.  Here is something else, the State of Texas would let me take it over again.  So why am I telling you this today?

Well many times life is like that driving test.  There are things in this life that we want to do, have or be.  Maybe you want to be a better friend.  Maybe you want to be a better mom or have God do something wonderful in your life.  It could be that there is some bad habit that you just can't seem to shake.  In times like these, you may feel discouraged and feel like giving up.  You may even feel like God is mad at you.

There are also times when you don't want to do something hard.  Have you ever avoided a conflict because you don't like the uneasy feeling that comes from conflict?  Have you ever wanted God to promote you in some area of your life?

Well most of the time to accomplish any of these things, we have to take a test.  Many times God will test us before he gives us something to see if we are ready for it or not.  What happens if we fail one of those tests?  Sometimes the devil will tell you that it's over.  Whatever you are hoping would happen will not and you should just quit.

Let me tell you that God is a loving God.  He wants you to have many of the things you want and he will never stop giving you chances to take the test and pass!  So if you fell down and didn't achieve your goal, stand back up and dust yourself off.  Then get right back to studying for the test.  Then keep taking the test until you pass!  God will continue to let you take the test as many times as you need until you pass.  He's not mad at you if you fail.  The test isn't impossible to pass.  God can show you how.  Also remember this - He is pulling for you and so am I.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

What's Steering the Bus?

Hello All,

I am finally getting around to writing again and I apologize for taking so long to get back to it.  Today I want to talk about what's steering your bus?  What's directing your life?  The answer to that is easy - our thoughts direct or life.  The bible says in Proverbs 23:7 that as a man thinks in his heart so is he.  What does that mean, your thoughts are steering your bus!  Have you ever sat around and worried about a big test.  Every time you think about it, you become afraid of failing it?  Then when you actually take the test, you don't do so well?  I know I've done things like that.

Let me tell you about one area that this has happened and what I figured out to do to stop it from happening again.  My company had a big client up until about a year ago and I listened to several people who would worry with me about this big client and what they were trying to do to us.  We all worried for several months and then I found myself worrying about what would happen if we lost them.  How would we survive and what would we do.  Now there was no real obvious signs of things going wrong with them but my heart began to be fixed on how we would lose them.  Sure enough, at the end of last year they fired us!  Just like Job, the thing that I feared had come upon me.  I believe that this is always the devil's plan for our lives.  He is constantly trying to steal, kill and destroy.

Now thank God that He is gracious enough to see us through our mistakes.  When I realized that I was doing it with another place in my business, the Lord showed me what I was doing and I was able to stop.  Why didn't God show me before I lost the big client?  He was trying to tell me, I just wasn't listening.

If we just stopped right here this would be good news but this isn't as far as it goes.  See, we can set our minds on good things and they will come to pass too!  There is another aspect of my business that is starting to go really well.  It is actually multiplying.  I don't mean it's growing, it's multiplying.  Now we started talking about this business at the first of the year much differently.  When I started this year, I was talking about this business being much larger than it is now.  I was seeing it, I was believing it and I was expecting it.  Guess what - that's exactly where it's headed.  As I am thinking in my heart, so is it.

So let me ask you, where are you seeing yourself?  What thoughts are you allowing to run around inside you?  Do you see yourself as overcome or overrun?  If you are struggling with this today, do me a favor.  As hard as it may be, take 10 minutes a day and start to use your imagination.  See yourself overcoming the thing you are struggling with.  See God stepping into your situation and it turning around.  See yourself as the victor not the victim.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Fear

Hello everyone,

Today's topic is fear.  It's something we see all around us and something we deal with daily.  If you ask any of my five children or possibly my wife, they might tell you that I look really scary in the morning because my hair looks so bad in the morning!  OK, all joking aside, I want to take a more serious look at fear.  Just this past week I was in a meeting with someone who told me that a little bit of fear was a good thing.  This person was trying to make a point and she was very very wrong.  Fear will kill you.  There is nothing remotely good about it.

In her example, she stated that if we don't teach children to fear their hand getting burned by a hot stove, they could get hurt.  What she should have said is that if we don't teach children to respect the heat that comes off the stove, they can get burned.  But they definitely should not fear the stove, there's nothing good that can come from fear.

Now I can already hear someone saying, "Mr. Minion, the Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."  That is what the King James Bible says but what that word fear means is deep respect and reverence of the Lord.  Remember this, the Bible says that God is Love and that perfect love casts out fear.  That means that if we go near God that His love will cast out fear.  Let me put it this way.  I'm a dad and I definitely want my children to respect what I say but I certainly don't want any of my children to ever fear me.  It would hurt me to think that one of my own children was afraid of me.

I don't even think that horror movies are good for us.  Think about it.  They can desensitize us to what fear actually does.  We like to watch movies that have fear in them because most of the time there is no "real" fear that would come after us from them.  But they teach us to live with fear and that fear can be amusing.  I personally prefer comedies because I like to laugh.  The Bible says that a merry heart doeth good like a medicine.

So what about fear?  I heard a preacher say one time that the shadow of a dog never bit anyone. How often do we sit around being fearful of what might happen.  I know someone who is going back to school and this person is afraid of some things that might never happen.  This person is worrying about things before they even come up.  Now I'm not telling you to plan for things and make sure you know what to do if something happens but that is much different that worrying about it.

Earlier this week, I was in a situation at work and worried about it for two days.  The particular thing I worried about never even took place so I worried for nothing.  Worse than that, we can't stand in fear and faith at the same time so I wasn't even standing in faith while I was worrying about it.  How dumb was I?  I have recently realized that there were several areas of my life where I was worrying about things and I am making the decision to quit.  Fear is of the devil.  I am striving more and more to work with one of my wife's 2 Ts (trust and thankfulness) - trust.  When I role the cares of those things over on to the Lord, He can take them and do something about them.

Can it be that simple to stop fear.  The answer is yes.  Quit choosing to live with fear and start choosing to live with trust in God!  When fear comes, tell the devil you aren't buying and choose to walk away from it!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Judgments

Hello everyone,

Today I want to talk about judgments.  Are they good or are they bad?  Once I had someone tell me that we should never judge anything because judgments were bad.  I responded that it seemed that we were judging judgments and that seemed bad too.  Obviously this circular thought made my head spin.  Today I was sitting at lunch with a couple of friends of mine and this subject came up again.  We should never judge people right?  Doesn't the bible tell us that we should not judge others?  Actually, that is correct.  The bible does say in Matthew 7:1 that we are to judge not lest we be judged.

So what does this mean?  Should we judge anything at all after reading this verse?  My friend at lunch today said that for every scripture in the bible, you can find some other scripture that contradicts it.  I don't think this is totally true.  I do very much believe that for every scripture in the bible we can find another one that seems to contradict it but I don't think the bible contradicts itself.  God's not schizophrenic.  He knows what He's doing when he rights something.  My friends and I were talking about a highly debated subject in Christian circles and we were talking about someone that we both knew who was connected to the subject.  My friend stated that he didn't judge this person we both know and I think that's right.  I don't judge him either.

After all, most of us who call ourselves Christians are known for being judgmental of others while not judging ourselves very well.  We seem to want to judge others in strict accordance with their actions while we want others to judge us through the eyes of grace.  In other words, we want to judge others of their sins but we don't want to deal with our own sins.  So we need to quit judging other people right?

The answer to that question is yes.  But let's look at judgments in general for a second.  I don't believe that all judgments are bad.  I think we have to take a look at our own lives and judge our own actions.  One of my friends at lunch today brought up the part of the bible where it says that we shouldn't go around trying to take the speck out of our brother's eye while we have a plank in our own and that's true but if you read the rest of that passage it says to take the plank out of your eye so you can see clearly how to take the speck out of your brothers.

Here's where I'm really going with this.  While I don't believe that we should judge other people, I do think we need to have our own sense of what is right and wrong.  Sin is sin.  I don't have to judge or define it, the Bible does that on it's own.  If someone's actions are wrong, it's OK to internally know that their actions are wrong.  But to look at that same person and say they are a bad person isn't OK.  The point I'm trying to make is that while I don't think we should judge anyone or exclude them from church for something they do that is wrong, I do think that we can acknowledge TO OURSELVES, not to them, that what they are doing isn't right.  That doesn't make them a bad person, it doesn't condemn them to hell, it shouldn't even kick them out of the church but I am tired of hearing people white wash things that God clearly says is wrong.

So if you see someone doing something that the Bible defines as sin, don't judge them personally and the vast majority of the time it's not even your place to tell them what they are doing is wrong.  But do notice that their actions don't line up with God's instructions.  Then, without looking down at them or judging them personally, take a look at yourself and see what actions in your own life are not measuring up to God's instructions.  Ask God to help you be a better Christian.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Letting Go

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post in a long time and for that I apologize again.  I know I need to write more and I hope to in the future.

Today's post is about letting go.  It's a message that has come to me from several different places in the last week which usually means the Lord is trying to tell me something.  I want to start with an illustration from a very good friend of mine, CS.

He recently told me about something that happened to him.  He was visiting with one of his closest friends when several of his friend's family showed up and had a lot of negative things to say about C.  They were very bitter about some "perceived" wrong that he did to them.  Now from our discussions, I don't think he really did anything wrong to them but this perceived transgression was really bothering several of them.  Here's the kicker.  This happened over a decade ago.  They have been harboring this grudge for a long time and guess who wasn't bothered about any of it until recently? - CS.  He didn't even know it was out there.  Pretty crazy stuff.  What's my point?  If you harbor a grudge against someone the only person you are really hurting is yourself.

I think that's a good point but I want to talk for a minute about the definition of letting go that the Lord keeps bringing to my heart.  I have to let go of the past.  In my current life, I don't have as many "things" as I once did.  I don't live in as nice a house as I used to and as a matter of fact, my ex-wife still lives in the nice house where I used to live.  I also don't have a boat like I used to.  And here's something else from my past that I don't like - I can't run as fast or as far as I could five years ago.

I've noticed lately that I have spent some time regretting not having the "things" that I used to enjoy.  What makes it worse is I am facing a couple of struggles.  Lately, it's been easy to be frustrated about the past and not really notice the great things that are going on around me.  So the Lord finally dealt with me to let go of the old house and let go of the boat.  Part of the problem of remembering the "good old days" is that they really weren't all that good.  I was just remembering the best parts of the "old days" and forgetting all the hard stuff that made them not so good at the time.  Another part of the problem is that while I was focusing on how things were, I forgot to focus on the good plan that God has for my future.  I'm on the verge of a couple of very significant breakthroughs in area's of my life that will put my family and I in the best financial place I have ever seen.

This year one of my businesses suffered a pretty big setback but it's still going strong and looks like there are opportunities to grow back some of what we lost.  Another of my businesses is on the verge of taking off in a way I would never have seen back in the good old days.  So what the Lord was finally saying to me is that at this stage of my life it's time for a new beginning not a being bogged down in trying to my recollection of the good old days.  But in order to move higher, I have to let go of some of the things I have held as important.

Something else I noticed was that I was holding on to feeling guilty about some bad choices I have made.  The worst part about that is I can't change any of them.  I can make choices about my future.

So I want to encourage you.  If your are holding on to things that are holding you down, it's time to let go and move up.  It's time for you to move out of your past and move into your future.  Maybe the devil has told you that because of something you did wrong it your past, that your life can't be as great as you would like.  That's just simply a lie.  Did you know that after the prodigal son came home from wasting all the money his father gave him that his father not only took him back but blessed him with fine clothes and a big feast.  God has a great plan for your life and nothing in your past can stop you and God from achieving a bright future. So let go and get going!!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Apple Seed

Today I want to encourage you to hold fast to the dreams that God has put in your heart.  Sometimes we have to continue to work a while before we see results.  I bet there are some of you who read my blog that are saying to yourselves, "I want to quit.  I've been working toward a goal for quite a while now and it seems like I will never get there.  I'm not even seeing results or at least not the results that I want to see." 

Well I can tell you I have been there before and I even face that now (well sort of).  There are a couple of areas in my life where I truly believe I know what the end result looks like.  But right now it doesn't exactly look that way.

Do you know what happens when you plant an apple tree seed?  If you water it properly and take care of the soil sooner or later it will sprout up an apple tree.  After a while the apple tree will produce apples.  But guess what.  The apple tree doesn't start producing apples the day after you plant the seed.  As a matter of fact, if you were to dig up the seed and look at it right after you planted it there would be nothing different about it.  It would just look like a dirty seed. 

See that seed needs to go through some days where there is no sunlight.  It goes through days that are rainy and it goes through days where people are putting fertilizer (that is manure) on top of it and all around it.  It needs to go through some days where there is nothing but darkness and pressure all around it.  If you left it above the ground where it was always bright and there was no pressure, it would wither up and die.  It would turn to dust.  But if you take away the sunlight, throw in some pressure, manure and plenty of rainy days the next thing you know that apple seed will begin to multiply and push it's way through the dirt to the surface.  It takes the pressure of the soil and the manure and takes nutrients from them.  It takes those rainy days and uses the water to grow.

I believe we are all in places where there is pressure in our lives.  For me personally, I know of a couple of places where I feel pressure.  If I look with my natural eyes, I don't see much movement or much way of getting through the dirt to the sunlight.  I've seen plenty of rainy days lately.  But I know what those rainy days mean.  Those rainy, pressure filled days where I see know light at the end of the tunnel mean that I am one step closer to getting above the ground and bearing fruit.  I'm one step closer to the success that I want and to the goal that I set.

So let me encourage you in this.  If you are facing what seems like an impossible situation right now.  If you are trusting God and putting your faith to work but you aren't seeing the results you want, don't quit.  All the bad stuff that is being thrown at your dream is a sure sign that your sprout is about to push through the surface!  You may only be one step from getting the result you wanted.  So don't stop trusting God to do what He said He would.  This could be your last day in the pressure!

It's happened again.  I've blogged myself happy. 

And that's another Opinion of the Minion

The One That Got Away

Hello everyone.  It's been a long time since I put anything together and I am sorry for that.  Today I want to talk about the one that got away.  Have you ever heard a song by Garth Brooks called "Unanswered Prayers"?  Basically Garth Brooks is talking about going back to his old high school and looking at his life growing up.  He's with his wife and apparently loves his life.  But his life isn't exactly what he thought it would be back then.  He prayed for God to do certain things in his life and God didn't answer those prayers but things turned out good anyway.

I find this very interesting because it happens so often in life.  It happened to me recently.  I pray every day that God will protect my business and that I will not lose any of my clients.  Now my company has had this one client for over 15 years and it's a big one.  We learned in December that effective at the end of July of this year, they will no longer need our services.  At first I was really upset.  Their decision not only effects my life but the lives of 20 to 30 people around me because it either effects their check or someone in their family.  That was a tough pill to swallow because I prayed about it all the time.

Now let me rewind a couple of years.  In January of 2010, the Lord instructed me to start a small company.  This company is very similar to the company that I run now with some marked differences.  This company isn't very big yet but it has potential for tremendous growth and we are already seeing it start.  After a couple of weeks of figuring out my current company in the aftermath of our upcoming loss, I began to see what the Lord had in mind when He wrote, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11.  I finally got a glimpse of His plan.  I could see that this decrease was actually increase in disguise and it's already coming to pass.

What I didn't see at first was this.  The one that got away needed to go away so I could land a bigger better fish.  I think that happens often to us in life.  Now let me ask you this.  What are you feeling so dis draught about right now?  What set back or disappointment are you facing?  Is it a bad grade at school?  Is it the loss of a girlfriend, boyfriend or job?  Maybe it's the loss of your house or something else due to the economy and you are mad at God about it.  Well I can certainly understand your frustration.  Let me tell you this - God does too.  It's OK to get mad at him.  He has big shoulders and He loves you very much.  He will even let you yell at Him.  So get it off your chest.

But after you are done yelling and getting upset, I challenge you to take a look around and see what God has in store for you.  If you ask Him, He will reveal the next door that needs to open.  And guess what, the thing to replace what you lost is probably right around the corner.  If it's from God, it will be better than what you lost.  Remember, sometimes you have to prune a tree so it can grow taller and stronger.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Give Her a Chance

Today I want to talk about something very cool that I did.  Now it may not be that great to you but it felt great to me.  I also learned that I did the same thing the Lord does for us.  Tonight I put my daughter K in a place where she could eventually make her way to the US Gymnastics Team!  Before anyone says anything, it is not my expectation that the does this.  And I will definitely love her whether she ever makes the team or even stays in gymnastics at all.  Either way I am proud to be her dad and I told her that in no uncertain terms tonight.  She knew that this was a place she could dream and if she worked really hard, she might have an opportunity to live that dream.  Let me tell you, I would be one proud dad if she does (but I am one proud dad now so it really doesn't matter).

As I was talking to the gymnastics people today, I found out that K was in the level two class.  If she does well she will be invited to join the level two team in the spring.  This will mean competitions locally and one national competition at the age of eight.  I think both of these are great opportunities for her to challenge and push herself.  I fully support that.  Now if she stays on track, she can make it up to level 10.  At level 10 she goes to a local competition.  If she wins she moves to regional and then national and then it's on to the Olympics!  Even though a lot of kids start down this track, not many of them become Gabby Douglas.  But one of them just might and why can't it be my daughter K?  The answer is, it most certainly can.

This thing has been bouncing around in my spirit since I figured it out a few hours ago and I can see the reason as I write this.  See God does the same thing for us that I have done for K.  He gives us a chance to achieve our dreams.  Many don't but it's not God's fault, it's ours.  If K doesn't go on to be an Olympian, it won't be my fault, it will be because she either chose to take a different path or she didn't dedicate herself to living that dream.  I think we do this in real life all the time.  God gives us an opportunity and we either don't work at it or we decide to do something else.  Regardless of what we do, the doors to our success are right there.

I hear people that are waiting on God to drop success on them like He dropped manna from Heaven on the Israelites in the desert but he doesn't work that way.  I also hear people that say He will just work everything out for their good regardless of what they do or don't do and this isn't true.  The Bible says He has a good plan for our lives and it also says He blesses the works of our hands.  If there isn't work from our hands, He doesn't have something to bless.  Now K is in the same place.  If she works hard and dedicates herself to gymnastics, she has a chance to be the best.  But if she doesn't work hard and eat right, etc., it won't happen. The choice is hers and I believe that the choice is ours when it comes to how successful we allow God to make us.

So let me leave you with this challenge.  If you are waiting for God to drop success on you, don't wait start doing something He can bless and see how He works.  The other challenge is this - find someone who is attempting to live out their dream and give them a helping hand.  Give them a chance.  You will be glad you did.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

The Lens

Today I want to talk about The Lens.  What is The Lens?  Good question.  I'm glad you asked.  Before I talk about The Lens, let's talk about lenses in general for a minute.  When I think of lenses, I think of glasses.  Have you ever put on prescription glasses that weren't yours?  Everything looks very distorted doesn't it?  I used to wear glasses but I had lasik surgery several years ago and don't need them now.  I didn't wear them at all until I was an adult.

I will never forget this.  It was my first year of law school and I had to drive to Dallas and back to Fort Worth everyday because the classes were in Dallas.  Now on the way home, everything was always a little fuzzy at night.  The lights weren't clear and I always had trouble seeing the street signs on the freeway.  Then one day, I went to see an eye doctor and I was prescribed glasses.  I got my first pair of glasses from a Wal-Mart off of Rufe Snow Drive in Fort Worth and I will never forget the day.  I put the glasses on and walked outside.  I was completely amazed at all that I could see.  It was as if scales had fallen off my eyes and it was amazing.  If you have ever had glasses, you completely understand.

So what is The Lens?  The Lens is what we see life through.  It's what we look through when we see other people.  It's also what we look through when we look in the mirror.  The Lens effects everything.  The thing I want to focus on for a minute is how the lens effects the way we see other people.

Have you ever seen someone you thought was strange or weird?  What makes them weird?  It's the way they look when you compare them to yourself or other people.  See I believe that we are all a little weird in our own ways.  But what if you are looking at that person through the wrong lens and instead of being weird they are actually just unique.  I think sometimes if we would take off our glasses that filter what is cool and what isn't we will find some very amazing individuals.  I think we should all look at other people through a certain lens though - the lens of love.

Now I am not talking about the mushy gushy feeling you get when you are around your boyfriend or girlfriend, what I mean is that we should love everyone.  God does.  Does that shock you?  God loves sinners.  Now I can already hear you screaming that he doesn't but it's true.  God only hates the sin but he loves everyone.  That means he can feel when others hurt even if they aren't living exactly the way he wants them to.  I say if it's good enough for God, it's good enough for us.  So let me ask you who are you looking at and seeing the wrong thing?  As you walk through tomorrow in this Christmas season, would you look at everyone you are near through a lens of love?  That's a tough thing to do but well worth it.

And that's another Opinion of the Minion

Dirty Politics

Hello Everyone,

I spent a lot of time talking about politics. And I think that it's important to give politics it's due. But it saddens me to see so many people get so excited and so animated about this subject and then when it's over the excitement goes with it.

I wonder what would happen if people channeled the same fervor and excitement that they have for the political issues and directed it toward constructive pursuits.  What would happen if we got very excited about helping our young people today?  What would happen if feeding people that needed food got as much a tension as much excitement as whether or not it's okay to burn the US flag or not?  What would happen if people got as excited about loving their neighbor as they did about condemning their neighbors choice and political party?

I think we would live in a vastly different world. Guess what poverty, low self-esteem, financial need, and  stress those don't have a real political party. So let me ask all my politically active friends what are you doing every day to help someone else in need?  Jesus praised people by saying, "When I was hungry you fed me when I was imprisoned you came to visit me when I was in need of clothing you gave me clothing."   He never said when I ran for political office you bombarded Facebook or the social media of the day with long laborious posts condemning the other party.  He didn't mention how you should vote.  When He judged people, he said, "When I was hungry you didn't feed me, when I was naked you didn't clothe me and when I was in jail you didn't visit."

Now before my far right wing or far left wing readers write me some critical comments, let me say that I am not against anyone voting there conscious.  As a matter of fact, I plan to early vote and I have already made up my mind how I am going to vote.  Many Americans gave their lives over the last 250+ years to give me that right and I plan to honor them with my vote.  I am completely for voting and doing what's right for this country.  I'm just appalled by what I hear through the media, Facebook and other places about politics from what some public entertainment figure has to say to what the left and right media have to say.

What troubles me is that I don't hear much about people helping others.  I remember one time I helped someone by giving them some supplies that they needed for their young kids.  The Lord told me to give them so much and I decided to give more than what the Lord asked me to do.  Now let me say that I did not hear the audible voice of God telling me to do anything.  I just knew in my spirit it was the right thing to do.  Anyway, after I gave them what the Lord told me to plus some, I felt like the Lord was smiling at me and was proud of me for what I did.  It was like He was saying, "Son, you act like me more and more!"  As I sat there in the car that day, I wept with joy at being that close to God and knowing that I pleased him.  I have never ever had that feeling or anything close from trying to make a political point. 

So what am I trying to tell you today?  What I'm saying is that it's high time we got off the sidelines and quit just talking about what needs to be done how we should vote what the right politician is doing or not doing and it's time that we stepped out and started making a difference in somebody's life.  So I want to encourage you today. After you're done voting and making speeches and talking about what's right and wrong with America please take the time to find that single mom and your church that needs a helping hand and give her some help. That's what causes me to have pride in America.  It's seeing Americans helping Americans not bickering and arguing about the political system or who should be in office but just an American helping someone who needs help!

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Sitting at Starbucks

Tonight I am sitting outside of Starbucks in Fort Worth.  My friends who know me personally would be shocked that I am here (not really - I come to Starbucks a couple of times a day for Earl Grey tea).  As I sit here tonight, the weather is beautiful.  It's in the mid 70s and we got a little rain earlier.  People are walking around and talking and generally enjoying the night.  So tonight I want to talk about love.

I harp on this subject a lot because I see so much hatred in the world.  Tonight, everyone around me seems to be having a good time but we all know that hate is around here somewhere.  Now my girlfriend D and I had a discussion last night about politics and some of the more hot topic issues that always seem to come up.  Now as I said in one of my very first blogs, I know that there are definitely issues that need to be addressed and they are serious.  Whether or not you are for or against same sex marriages or abortion or flag burning or you fill in the blank.  I want to challenge you to love people.  I sat at lunch with my good friend J to day and this is one of the things he and I discussed.  Not love specifically but allowing others to have a different opinion and still being able to love and appreciate the person.

Regardless of whether you are a die hard Republican or die hard Democrat, God calls us to love people.  Did you know that Jesus died on the cross for your sins and yet He gives each of us the free will to go to Hell if that's what we chose?  Guess what, He will love you all the way there.  He will hate that you chose to go but He will love you and respect your decision and opinion on the subject.  Did you know that when they nailed Him to that cross He said, forgive them Father for they no not what they do.  He could have called 10,000 angels to get him off that cross and destroy the world but He chose not to do it.  He chose to love those who were putting Him to death.

Now I know a lot of us would like to walk around in the same power that Jesus walked the earth.  I think the reason that it doesn't happen is that we wouldn't say forgive them.  We would call the 10,000 angels to wipe out anyone who doesn't agree with our position, political party or choice of snow cone flavor.  Folks, this isn't the right way to run a railroad.

Now I am not saying that you shouldn't have an opinion and I do believe that you should stand up for who you are.  Guess what I have seen both sides of the isle work to run the other one over.  What I am telling you is stop the hate.  If you can't express your opinion in love, then don't express it until you can.   Quit making fun of or speaking badly of people who don't share the same opinion as you and start walking in love.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Conflict

Today I want to talk about something that is a very tough subject and honestly I don't know if I have ever seen people do this right.  I want to talk about how we solve problems between people.  Now I don't think that we can really go around solving other people's problems.  I know several people who have tried unsuccessfully to do that for years.  But what I want to talk about today is a great personal triumph for me.

Think with me for a minute about learning how to drive a car.  If you had never done that before and had never even seen a car, do you think you would be capable of driving one?  Let's say you managed to get the car started and drive it.  Since you don't know the traffic laws, there is a very good chance that you will wreck that car and quite possibly get someone else hurt right?  Well that's the way I think I have been with conflict resolution for most of my life.

If you are married or in a serious relationship, you are going to have conflict between the two people in the relationship.  If you aren't, you are going to have conflict between yourself and your friends and all sorts of other people.  Now for me, resolving conflict with friends has always been fairly easy but for years I have had conflicts with people who are close to me and had no idea how to resolve it correctly.  As I have said before, for a long time I simply turned my emotions off.  That wasn't the best thing but it made conflict resolution easy.  How?  Well, most of the time I would other people simply run over me. Whenever there was a conflict I was normally the one to try to keep the peace.  I read in the bible that blessed are the peacemakers and I tried to be a peacemaker.  The problem was, many of the people I knew only wanted peace on their terms.

That typically didn't work out well for me because I just gave in.  Was there really conflict resolution?  No because I just bottled up all the hurt and never found a balanced, healthy way to resolve it.  Part of my problem was having to deal with people who didn't know how to resolve it either.  Most of them learned that the way to resolve conflict was to get mad and yell.  If you show enough anger then the other side will back down and the conflict is resolved right?  In the short term, that is true but it is very damaging to a relationship.  So that way doesn't work either.

About a year and a half ago, the Lord really opened my eyes to my emotions and how they work.  Since then, I have felt a lot of things.  Most of them are new.  Many feel good but many do not.  This brought a change in the way I decided to resolve things.  If I didn't get a good solution to the problem and one that was more on my terms then I would simply cut the offending person out of my life.  I applied this to dating and I can tell you it didn't really work either.  What I was saying then was unless you are perfect, I won't be around you because if you mess up once, you must be like the other people I have dealt with who don't know how to do this any better than I do.  Guess what, that isn't a winning strategy either.

So why am I so excited?  Well I recently dealt with a person over a particular issue.  On the issue in question, the other person did something that aggravated me a little.  Now fortunately, I read a book earlier that day discussing conflicts and how we resolve them.  Some people believe that how you resolve conflict will indicate how long you stay in relationship with someone.  If you don't do it well, that relationship won't last.  Well in this particular case, I ran a quick errand to give myself a little breathing room to think through things a little.  When I did, here is what I discovered.  This issue did irritate me and it would be unhealthy for me ignore the emotion.  However, in the grand scheme of life, it really wasn't that big a deal.

The other person in this situation could sense that I was offended and thus became a little defensive.  I was able to share how I felt.  It didn't take long and as soon as I shared my feelings and knew the other person generally cared about how I felt, all of my aggravation over the situation left.  I felt much better.  At the end of the discussion this person felt better too.  The funny part is that I don't know if the other person has had much success in life resolving personal conflict either because I sensed this person was waiting for me to attack.  When I didn't it seemed like it was a little shocking to that person as well.  Did it feel great?  Yes!  I finally let something bother me, expressed my emotions in a calm and respectful manner and then the situation was resolved.

So what did I learn?  When you have a problem with someone, you need to acknowledge that their is a problem.  Don't stuff it down but don't react out of anger either.  Take a few minutes to cool off and get your head under control.  After that, take the time to express yourself in a respectful way to the other person.  After that, you will feel better.  Now let me also say that it certainly helped that I knew the other person loved and cared about me.  This particular person is also very level headed and very capable of rationally discussing the situation which was a big plus.

That's another Opinion of the Minion