I Want to Know What Love Is

"I want to know what love is.  I want you to show me...."  Have you ever heard that song?  Those are lyrics from a song in the early 80s.  Yes, I am dating myself a little because that was the golden age of music for me.  But it's a popular theme these days.  We want to experience love.  We want to be in love.  We want to feel love.

It's interesting that in every song on the radio and for most people when you ask them about love, they tell you that they want some feeling associated with love.  Have you ever heard someone refer to love as a matter of the heart?  Have you ever someone say follow your heart?  Most of the time that means follow your feelings and let me tell you that can lead to disaster.

Another song from my day said, "What is love, baby don't hurt me...."  So let's tackle things that describe love in general.  First of all, we know that God is love because the bible says that He is.  That means that God equals love and Love equals God.  I will talk in more detail about many of the attributes in later blogs but let's look at a few attributes of Love.

The Bible says, "Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand it's own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I want you to notice something about these verses.  Most of the attributes of love listed are action verbs, not feeling verbs.  How many times to you hear people say, "I feel patient" or "I feel kind"?  I don't know if I have ever.  I have been patient with people and I've been kind to people but I don't know if I've ever felt kind.

Take a look at something else.  All these attributes are things that we DO to other people.  Did you notice that not once do these verses say that we should be expecting this from someone else?  Now you might say that if someone is ACTING this way toward you then they are not acting in love and I won't argue that but if we are walking in love, then we won't keep record of being wronged.  Let me be clear, I am not saying that if someone is abusive to you that you should stay in the relationship and never keep record of being abused.  If you are in an abusive relationship, get out!  But when you do, then chose to walk in love and forgive.

It's when we get past feelings and start living into Love the way God sees love, then we will experience the greatest victories in our lives.  The Bible says that Love never fails.  Are you worrying about your parents?  Are you worrying about your kids?  Are you worrying about some other person?  Then make the decision to act and walk in Love with them.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Love is Patient Part 2

Hello everyone,

I wanted to take moment to tell you about a few things where I have/am learning to love by being patient.  I didn't really understand the power of the force of patience until recently.  See, patience provides room for love to grow.  It's critical.  Let me explain.

Last week, my wife and I were going through the normal things in life.  We were working and raising kids.  Now each of our children is fearful and wonderfully made.  That means sometimes we wonder about them.  Just kidding.  That means they are wonderful and amazing children.  They are God's gift to us and I get excited when we catch glimpses of what's really inside them.  But there are other times where they are challenging.

Parent's have you ever been frustrated because your children don't grow up as fast as you would like?  Have you ever wondered if they would grow up at all?  I can't tell you how many times my wife and I have worried over our children because of their choices or how many times I would ride them about a choice they made over and over.  But what I realized was that in some ways, I wasn't being loving.  Now I'm not saying that we shouldn't correct our children because the Bible says that God corrects those he loves.  But what I am telling you is that in other cases if we will be patient with our children and give God room to grow them up, they will progress so much faster than all our nagging.

The other thing I noticed this week is an area in my personal life where I was not being very loving with someone because I wanted them to do something and they didn't do it.  I got agitated and rolled all sorts of things around in my mind to tell them but in the end, the Lord was telling me to be patient.  See, I was walking in selfishness which is many times the opposite of patience.  What I wanted the other person to do was a good and right thing but I was not giving them time to do it on their own.  I have decided to love them and be patient and wait.

Patience doesn't come across as an action verb.  When you give something to someone, they can see what you give them.  When you do something for someone or say something nice to someone, then they know it immediately.  But with patience, the person you are loving, may never know that you are loving them and waiting.  I think that's what makes it so strong.

How many times do you think the Lord has been patient with us.  How many times has he wanted us to make different choices and we make the same mistakes again and again.  But guess what.  He never walks out of love with us.  It's impossible for God to be anything but Love toward us so I know he is patient with me every day.

Let me leave you with this.  If you are struggling with patience, then ask the Lord to help you stand in faith and pray while you wait.  God is able to do much more that we can ask or think so dare to ask big and then wait.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

Love is Patient

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to start talking about what love is.  Our topic for today is patience.  Have you ever had an experience were you were not patient with someone?  I know I sure have.  If you have children, especially teenagers, it's easy to lose your patience with them.  On our streets today, you can see how impatient people are with one another.  Well, when we are acting impatiently with each other, we aren't walking in love.  That doesn't mean we don't love, it means in that particular instance, we aren't walking in love the way we should.  Also, there are opportunities for you to be patient whether you pray for them or not.

I have heard in Christian circles for years that you shouldn't pray for patience because God will cause something to come in your life that requires it.  But here's the problem.  God is not saying that if you are patient, then you are walking in love.  What He's saying is when His love is developed in you then you will be patience.  So what you need to pray for is that His love will so grow inside you that you will be a patient person.  You aren't doing work to prove love.  Love is working which causes results.

So what is patience?  One definition is - the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.  What does that mean?  Well for me personally, it mean's loving my children and being patient while I am waiting on things to develop in their lives.  One of the most interesting characteristics is waiting without getting angry or upset.  Let me say to my children, I apologize for the times that I am waiting on you to develop but being upset at the same time.

Now I want to say a thank you to my wife.  She has shown me love by being patient with me.  Overall, I'm a good dad and a good husband but there are a couple of things that I need to get straight.  My wife has known about them since we met and she's loved me and been patient with me for a long time.  Thank you Honey.  I love you.

So what does all this mean?  Start believing God to change you and out of His love, ask for him to grow the attribute of patience.  Then find an opportunity today to be patient.  Maybe you need to be patient while other people are ahead of you in line.  Maybe you need to be patient with someone while you are driving.  Maybe you need to be patient with one of your friends or your parents while they figure things out.  Regardless of what it is, find a place today to show someone else love by being patient.

Love Part 1

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to begin a several part blog on love.  This is one topic that I need to know much more about.  See, I love my wife and I love my children.  But what does that really mean?  Does it mean I feel warm inside when I'm with my wife?  Does it mean I really enjoy my children?  The answer to both of those questions is sometimes yes and sometimes no.  But it doesn't change the fact that I love them both.

But, before we get to what love is, I want to take the rest of this blog to talk about what love is not.  For those of you who read this blog inside the United State, we use this word entirely too much and we water down what it really means.  You might hear someone say, "I love my car" or "I love my school" or something else.  But that's not real love.  You can enjoy your car and you can really enjoy your school but real love is reserved for something else.

For all you young ladies let me tell you something else that is not love.  If a guy starts telling you he loves you and then starts pressuring you to have a physical relationship with him, that's not love.  That's lust and selfishness.  See anything someone uses to get something from you, is not love.  When you are dating, you might have heard if you love me, you will do this or that.  But that's not really love, most of the time it's someone trying to con you into getting something they want.

I've even heard Christians say that you are not walking in love if you don't give them the money they need or give them something else they want.  Again, that is not love.  Love does not seek to get it's own stuff.  Now let me ask you this, where are you upset with someone else because you aren't getting what you want from them?  It could be that you need rethink how you love are loving someone.

When we think about love, we often think of a feeling, but that is not love either.  Feelings are great and when I feel really close to my wife and get those warm, gooey feelings about her, I really enjoy them but that doesn't define my love for her.  In fact, I don't think feelings have anything to do with true love at all.

Well, I like to keep these fairly short so we will pick it up here next time with a little more about what love is not.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Time

Hello Everyone,

Tonight I want to talk about time.  Time is finite.  There are 24 hours in a day; 60 minutes in an hour and 60 seconds in a minute.  There's only so much of it and when we run out of time, we run out.  By that I mean when we die and go to heaven or hell, we are out of time.

I recently heard of someone who felt like they were out of time at a very young age.  The felt they had made mistakes that could not be overcome.  They felt like they were behind where they should be based on their peers.  What's so amazing about this person is that they are so young.

Maybe you feel like you are out of time.  Maybe you are 50 years old and have been through a failed marriage.  It could be you think you are too old to go back to school.  Time as run out.  It could be that you are really young and the devil has sold you a pack of lies telling you it is too late for you.  Maybe you feel that time has run out and your situation is now hopeless.  I don't know all the things that the devil uses to make us feel frustrated.  But I want you to know something.  It's not over!  You are not out of time!  God still has a plan for you.  You can accomplish that plan whether you are 15, 35, 55, or 85.  You are not out of time.

I want to tell you about a man named Abram.  He was 90 years old and his wife was almost that old.  They never had kids and wanted them.  Abram had a visitation from the Lord.  The Lord told Abram that he would be the father of so many descendants that they would be more numerous than the grains of sand on the seashore.  Can you believe that?  Well Abram did.  He believed it so much that he started calling himself Abraham which means "father of many nations."  Nine months later, they gave birth to a son and the promise was on.

Friend, God wants to do the same thing for you he did for Abraham.  If there is any area of your life where you feel that it's too late, I encourage you to take it to the Lord and see what He can do with it.  I guarantee you, it's not too late.

Well, I've blogged myself happy again.  That's another Opinion of the Minion. 

Who Should Be President

Hello Everyone,

     Today marks another changing of the guard in Washington, D.C.  We now have a new president and while there are many in this country that are excited about his arrival, there are many that are really upset about his arrival.  Which group are you?  Well regardless of which one, let me ask you this?  Why are you excited or upset.  The answer is that we all need a deeper revelation that God is our source.  If God is truly your source, then it won't matter who's in leadership because you put your trust in Him not in him (or almost her).

     See one of the problems with putting our trust in a man instead of God is we can be disappointed in them.  Where God has always performed what he said he would perform.  His record is perfect.  Do you need peace in your life?  Do you need prosperity?  Do you need healing?  Do you need forgiveness?  Do you need redemption?  No man can provide any of these but with God all things are possible.

     Another problem is that as we begin to look to these men and women of our government as our source, many times we loose sight of love.  Did you know that the Bible says God is love?  Let me put that in a mathematical equation for you.  God = Love.  To put it another way, Love = God.  You can't walk in true love without walking in true God and you can't walk in true love without walking in true God.  But many of the feelings I see and hear about politicians these days are fear, hate, concern, worry, and the list goes on.

     Guess what.  Those things aren't pure, lovely, just or of a good report and we shouldn't think on them. I'm not saying that we shouldn't pay attention to what our leaders are doing and have an opinion but when hate guides your actions, you have the violent protests we are seeing today.  We should pray for our leaders regardless of whether or not we voted for them.

     So take heart.  If you didn't vote for our president, remember that God loves you and He's still in control.  If you did vote for our president, remember that He's not God.  God is God and he loves you.

     That's another Opinion of the Minion

A Time to Rest

Hello again everyone.  Today I want to talk about rest.  Before I go into this post, let me say I am not taking my own advice right now.  It seems to me that with the technological advances, we are busier now than ever before.  We might not work sun up to sun down behind a plow like they did 150 years ago but we are still very very busy.

I see it everywhere.  When I was a kid, we played little league baseball and it ran for a couple of months (probably April to June) and if you made the All-Star team it ran a little longer.  Now baseball is a year round sport.  There's fall ball, winter ball, select teams, little league, etc.  It's not just baseball, it's every sport.  In the interest of competition the schedules are much more demanding.  For the kids this is great but for parents it requires more and more running.  You can drive over a hundred miles a day in Texas just running kids back and forth to practices, etc.

Before I get any ugly responses, let me say that I am a sports fan and I enjoy watching our kids.  But you need to count the costs of all those activities.  No, I don't mean the monetary costs although those are important.  I am talking about the time costs.  You see, while every one of these events on their own is really great, we have to be careful that the sum of the events doesn't run us down.  What is the cost of time spent doing anything on the relationships that are important.

Last week, my wife and I were so busy running kids, working, taking care of the house, doing our gym work outs and the list goes on that I rarely saw her at all.  When I did we were rushing off to another event!  Now I am complaining about going, I just began to notice that I was getting tired.  How did I know?  Well, one night my wife and I were in the kitchen talking about the new toll road in Fort Worth.  We were discussing how we seldom see the police on the other major roads but that they were definitely handing out extra tolls on that road every day.  That turned into an argument and we were in agreement on the issue!  Fortunately it wasn't a major argument and we only argued for about a minute before my wife said, "Why are we arguing about this?" and it stopped but it let me see that I was really getting tired.

So let me ask you this.  Are you feeling yourself frustrated and tired a lot?  If so, what type of toll is it taking on your friends and family around you?  Are you short with people you love?  Have you found yourself so busy that you don't have time to read your bible and be alone with God?  If the answer is yes, then let me suggest that you take a minute and re-evaluate where you are spending your time.  It is important to get things done but at what cost?  Are there things you really need to cut out of your daily schedule?  Don't try to keep up with what everyone else is doing.  Run your race.  You'll be glad you did.

And that's another Opinion of the Minion

The Box Revisited

Hello Everyone,

This is one of the first posts I ever created and I think that every once in a while I should repost it because it was so profound to me.



I have given this a lot a of thought and I believe that the Lord showed me something that changed the way I view people.

You see, when God creates a person he gives them abilities, passions, desires, talents and all sorts of wonderful attributes that we seldom ever see.  Then he takes all these things and puts them in a box with silver wrapping paper and very pretty red ribbon tied in a bow around it.  He calls the box - You.  It is a present to the world.  When I saw this for the first time, I looked around at all the people walking by and said to myself, "Merry Christmas!" because all I could see were beautiful boxes waiting to be opened.

The problem is many people don't even know what is in their own box much less have taken the time to look in someone elses box.  This starts when we are in school.  As we grow up, we learn all kinds of new things about ourselves: what we like, what we don't, the changes that our bodies go through, we learn things in school about the world and we learn about social interaction.  But sometimes that social interaction teaches us that the stuff in our box isn't all that important.

Have you ever felt like the stuff inside you doesn't really matter?  Can you look back to a point in your life where you were doing something you really enjoyed and someone else called it or you stupid or worthless?

When you pull the most precious parts of your life out of the box and let other people see them, it is scary because you are definitely vulnerable at that point.  But know this, the Lord put all those wonderful things inside and they are of great price and value.  Don't let someone cheapen what is so precious by their comments.

Everyday, I see people who are alive but aren't living.  I think it is because they have told themselves that the treasures in their box aren't important or worth much so they don't do anything with them.  They may not have done this openly but below the surface it happens.  You have to know that if God took the time to create you and put all those treasures inside you, they are important both to him and to me.

When was the last time you looked in your box and pulled out something you truly enjoyed and used it?  When was the last time you opened the box?  When was the last time you were passionate about anything?  Are you so caught up in the rat race that your box isn't important any more?

Here is another interesting question - When was the last time you opened up someone else's box to see who they really are and celebrate the gifts inside them?  Do you always know what is wrong with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids, friends, parents, family, coworkers but never look inside the box for what is so awesome about them?

Husbands, what would happen if instead of criticizing your wife, the next time you saw her, you decided to look at something that was so precious to her, so beautiful, so tender, so amazing and something she loved about herself?  What would happen if you nurtured that gift and encouraged it to grow?  What would happen if, after you opened her box, she decided that your box was the most special one on earth and decided to touch the core of who you are?  What if you both decided to go deep in your relationship?

Boyfriends, what if you looked at her and decided that you wanted more than just what was inside her clothes, you wanted what was inside her heart.  Girlfriends, what if you decided that you wanted the same thing?  What if you wanted to explore who they are and make them the best person they could be while they did the same thing to you?  What if you looked at them and asked, "What can I give?" instead of "What can I get?"

Is this a little intense?  Yes.  Is it worth it if just one person decides to open their box or open someone elses?  Yes.  You see, I believe that I got to see a little glimpse of the creation through the creator's eyes when He showed me this.  It was truly an eye opening experience and I can definitely say I will never be the same.  I got to see how He looked at and longs for His creation to be all that we can be and how His love for us goes so deep His heart aches for us.

So I guess the real question is what is in your box?  I want to know.

That's the Opinion of His Minion

You Gotta Be You

Hello Everyone,

It's been on my heart to start writing again so here goes.  Today I want to talk about being true to yourself.  Have you ever been in a place were someone says or does something that you don't agree with?  Maybe you see someone at school bullying someone or saying something bad about someone.  I have found myself listening to people with views that differ from what I truly believe.  I've tried to reconcile some of those opinions and beliefs and tried to "go along" with them in my spirit but it never felt right.

Here's the thing.  I never felt peace until I finally decided that no matter who I am around or what they say, I'm going to be true to what I believe.  I'm going to stand up for what I believe is right regardless of whether it's popular or not.  It may seem cool if you are part of the in crowd at school and they want to make fun of someone but it's not.  It may seem cool to talk about someone behind their back but it's not.  It may seem cool to agree with the "new age" standards that many people in the world want to set but it's not.

What standards am I talking about?  Well that's a question that I will leave to you.  I will tell you this.  If you really don't know how you feel about any particular issue, pick up your Bible and get God's opinion on the subject.  While it may not be the most popular, it will definitely be the right one.

Before I finish, I want to say that it's not always OK to run around spouting your opinion to anyone and everyone.  If you feel inclined to tell every person you meet what you feel or your opinion, that isn't right either.  If someone has a different opinion that you, it's OK.  What's not OK is for you to change your opinion on any subject just to try to fit in with the crowd.

While it's a little short and sweet, that's the Opinion of the Minion.

Random Acts and Bank Accounts

Random acts, we've all seen them on the news.  Someone gets mad at someone else in traffic and communicates something ugly.  Someone else comes home from a bad day at work and yells at their kids.  Someone else gets really upset and punches someone out.  This list could go on and on.  So what do they have to do with bank accounts you might ask?


Well I am not talking about the bank account you have at Bank of America or Citibank.  I'm talking about people.  Did you know people are like bank accounts.  Every time you do something negative to them, their emotional account gets lower.  Every time you do something positive to someone, it goes up. 


Let me try to illustrate this.  Last week when I went to pick up three of our five kids, our youngest daughter was having a fit.  She was going to get to go where we were because she was sick and it wasn't a good idea.  Now she is 9 years old but was acting more like 9 months and having a toddler fit.  This particular day, I did not have a great day at work.  To top it all off, I was late to get the other two boys to swim practice.  So what did I do?  I did the "natural" thing to do - I lost my temper.  Now I don't really have a bad temper but I did get really mad (for me) at my daughter.  I was so mad, I was raising my voice at her and she was yelling at me. 


It ended with me spanking her and her still throwing a fit.  At one point, she said some really mean things to me.  Because I am her dad and she is a child, the things she said didn't really bother me.  After all, she is only nine.  Her behavior was in appropriate so I corrected it but what if she was 20 years older and said she hated me?  It could really hurt my feelings and damage my self esteem.  Now this wasn't premeditated, it was a random act that could have really drained my emotional bank account.


Let me tell you another random story.  Most of you know that I am from Texas and I still believe in saying ma'am and sir.  I think it's polite and I like it.  It's a way for me to show someone respect.  Now the other day, I was in a Starbucks in a different state (if you know me that's a shock right?).  The person behind the counter asked me a question and I said, "Yes ma'am."  However for a split second, I was mortified because there was a distinct possibility that I just said yes ma'am to a guy.  It would have been a totally insulting thing to do.  Fortunately, it turned out to be a girl so I was safe.  Again a random act but it could have definitely hurt some one's feelings.  That could have definitely drained that person's emotional account.


Up to this point, everything I have discussed centers around not hurting someone and draining their account.  I suppose I could stop right now and say that it's best to be careful that we don't hurt other people and that is certainly true.


But I want to take a minute and talk about the other side of the ledger.  If you take $100 to your bank and deposit in your savings account what happens?  Your account balance goes up right?  So what if we took that same approach and started adding to other people's emotional accounts instead.  When was the last time you walked up to a total stranger and given them a compliment?  Are you too shy for that?  Well let me ask you this.  How would it make you feel if someone in line at Starbucks that you didn't know (assuming you are a lady) that you really looked nice in the dress you were wearing?  How would it make you feel?  How about if you told someone you work with thank you for doing a good job on something?  It's going to make their account balances go up.


So let me encourage you in this today.  Try to find someone and give them a random act of kindness.  Be careful though.  Because whatever you do to someone, it will be done to you.  If you start giving out random acts of kindness, sooner or later, they are going to start coming back to you!


That's another Opinion of the Minion

To Fear or Not to Fear

Hello everyone, 

Today I want to talk about fear.  Now we could discuss all kinds of phobias and it seems like there is a phobia for almost everything.  There is even phobia of success.  Can you believe it!  If you Google it, there are a lot of things to say about it.  There's also the fear of failure which is the opposite.  We run around a lot wondering about what happens if we fail.  What happens if we try out for something and don't make it?  Most of the time, nothing really bad happens.  We might get embarrassed if we fail or we might not get something we had our heart set to do.  But other than that, what negative really happens?

Let me ask you this.  What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?  Would you become a professional athlete?  Maybe you would run for President or run some big corporation.  I am digressing from my topic for tonight so I will save this discussion for another day.

Let's talk about fear itself.  It can grip us and stop us in our tracks.  Some people believe that a little fear is healthy for you.  That's almost as intelligent as saying a little cancer is healthy for you or a few broken bones are good for you.  After all, they might teach you something right?  Nope.  A little fear is not good for you because fear connects you to the devil and that's not a connection you need to make. 

Now I can hear some of you saying, "Well Mr. Minion, the Bible says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."  Yes, there are some translations of the Bible that use those words but what it really means that the reverence of the Lord and the respect for the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  It doesn't mean that being terrified of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  For the record, God doesn't want you to be afraid of Him.  That thought is just plain ridiculous.  Are any of you parents?  Are any of you in a relationship?  Do you want your children, spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend to be afraid of you?  Of course not,  I have five children and I don't want any of them to be afraid of me, not even a little bit.

If you think about it for a few minutes, we use the word fear a lot and can make connections to it.  Have you ever said, "That scared me to death?"  how about sayings like, "That ____ will be the death of me yet?"  Some people even sit around and talk about all the bad things that can happen to them.

So is fear a good thing?  Not on any level.  So if fear is so bad for you, what's the opposite of fear?  The answer is faith.  Faith in what?  First and foremost, faith in God.  Second faith in yourself.  Third faith in the plan God has for your life.  When you turn from fear, you're left with faith.  

I can already hear some of you saying, "Well what about what's going on right now in my life?  What if it doesn't work out?"  Not too long ago, I was afraid of losing my job and I was afraid that my new wife wouldn't care for me anymore.  That she might even not want to be with me anymore.  That fear was gripping.  But here's what I finally realized.  Regardless of what she did or didn't do, God would be with me.  He will see me through to the place of victory he has for me.  For those of you who know me personally, you should know that my wife has very strong moral character and I truly believe that she is deeply in love with me and committed to me.  The only thing that freed me from it's grip was to turn to faith in God.  If all those bad things happened, I would still be OK.  

But one thing I learned while sitting in that fear was that I didn't enjoy life.  I was sitting at a place watching everyone around me having a good time and I wasn't.  Why?  Because that fear had a grip on me.  Once I got out of that grip through faith, I started having a good time again.  So if your at this place right now, let me encourage you.  Take a step out of fear and take a step of faith!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Fear

Hello everyone,

Today's topic is fear.  It's something we see all around us and something we deal with daily.  If you ask any of my five children or possibly my wife, they might tell you that I look really scary in the morning because my hair looks so bad in the morning!  OK, all joking aside, I want to take a more serious look at fear.  Just this past week I was in a meeting with someone who told me that a little bit of fear was a good thing.  This person was trying to make a point and she was very very wrong.  Fear will kill you.  There is nothing remotely good about it.

In her example, she stated that if we don't teach children to fear their hand getting burned by a hot stove, they could get hurt.  What she should have said is that if we don't teach children to respect the heat that comes off the stove, they can get burned.  But they definitely should not fear the stove, there's nothing good that can come from fear.

Now I can already hear someone saying, "Mr. Minion, the Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."  That is what the King James Bible says but what that word fear means is deep respect and reverence of the Lord.  Remember this, the Bible says that God is Love and that perfect love casts out fear.  That means that if we go near God that His love will cast out fear.  Let me put it this way.  I'm a dad and I definitely want my children to respect what I say but I certainly don't want any of my children to ever fear me.  It would hurt me to think that one of my own children was afraid of me.

I don't even think that horror movies are good for us.  Think about it.  They can desensitize us to what fear actually does.  We like to watch movies that have fear in them because most of the time there is no "real" fear that would come after us from them.  But they teach us to live with fear and that fear can be amusing.  I personally prefer comedies because I like to laugh.  The Bible says that a merry heart doeth good like a medicine.

So what about fear?  I heard a preacher say one time that the shadow of a dog never bit anyone. How often do we sit around being fearful of what might happen.  I know someone who is going back to school and this person is afraid of some things that might never happen.  This person is worrying about things before they even come up.  Now I'm not telling you to plan for things and make sure you know what to do if something happens but that is much different that worrying about it.

Earlier this week, I was in a situation at work and worried about it for two days.  The particular thing I worried about never even took place so I worried for nothing.  Worse than that, we can't stand in fear and faith at the same time so I wasn't even standing in faith while I was worrying about it.  How dumb was I?  I have recently realized that there were several areas of my life where I was worrying about things and I am making the decision to quit.  Fear is of the devil.  I am striving more and more to work with one of my wife's 2 Ts (trust and thankfulness) - trust.  When I role the cares of those things over on to the Lord, He can take them and do something about them.

Can it be that simple to stop fear.  The answer is yes.  Quit choosing to live with fear and start choosing to live with trust in God!  When fear comes, tell the devil you aren't buying and choose to walk away from it!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Judgments

Hello everyone,

Today I want to talk about judgments.  Are they good or are they bad?  Once I had someone tell me that we should never judge anything because judgments were bad.  I responded that it seemed that we were judging judgments and that seemed bad too.  Obviously this circular thought made my head spin.  Today I was sitting at lunch with a couple of friends of mine and this subject came up again.  We should never judge people right?  Doesn't the bible tell us that we should not judge others?  Actually, that is correct.  The bible does say in Matthew 7:1 that we are to judge not lest we be judged.

So what does this mean?  Should we judge anything at all after reading this verse?  My friend at lunch today said that for every scripture in the bible, you can find some other scripture that contradicts it.  I don't think this is totally true.  I do very much believe that for every scripture in the bible we can find another one that seems to contradict it but I don't think the bible contradicts itself.  God's not schizophrenic.  He knows what He's doing when he rights something.  My friends and I were talking about a highly debated subject in Christian circles and we were talking about someone that we both knew who was connected to the subject.  My friend stated that he didn't judge this person we both know and I think that's right.  I don't judge him either.

After all, most of us who call ourselves Christians are known for being judgmental of others while not judging ourselves very well.  We seem to want to judge others in strict accordance with their actions while we want others to judge us through the eyes of grace.  In other words, we want to judge others of their sins but we don't want to deal with our own sins.  So we need to quit judging other people right?

The answer to that question is yes.  But let's look at judgments in general for a second.  I don't believe that all judgments are bad.  I think we have to take a look at our own lives and judge our own actions.  One of my friends at lunch today brought up the part of the bible where it says that we shouldn't go around trying to take the speck out of our brother's eye while we have a plank in our own and that's true but if you read the rest of that passage it says to take the plank out of your eye so you can see clearly how to take the speck out of your brothers.

Here's where I'm really going with this.  While I don't believe that we should judge other people, I do think we need to have our own sense of what is right and wrong.  Sin is sin.  I don't have to judge or define it, the Bible does that on it's own.  If someone's actions are wrong, it's OK to internally know that their actions are wrong.  But to look at that same person and say they are a bad person isn't OK.  The point I'm trying to make is that while I don't think we should judge anyone or exclude them from church for something they do that is wrong, I do think that we can acknowledge TO OURSELVES, not to them, that what they are doing isn't right.  That doesn't make them a bad person, it doesn't condemn them to hell, it shouldn't even kick them out of the church but I am tired of hearing people white wash things that God clearly says is wrong.

So if you see someone doing something that the Bible defines as sin, don't judge them personally and the vast majority of the time it's not even your place to tell them what they are doing is wrong.  But do notice that their actions don't line up with God's instructions.  Then, without looking down at them or judging them personally, take a look at yourself and see what actions in your own life are not measuring up to God's instructions.  Ask God to help you be a better Christian.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

The Lens

Today I want to talk about The Lens.  What is The Lens?  Good question.  I'm glad you asked.  Before I talk about The Lens, let's talk about lenses in general for a minute.  When I think of lenses, I think of glasses.  Have you ever put on prescription glasses that weren't yours?  Everything looks very distorted doesn't it?  I used to wear glasses but I had lasik surgery several years ago and don't need them now.  I didn't wear them at all until I was an adult.

I will never forget this.  It was my first year of law school and I had to drive to Dallas and back to Fort Worth everyday because the classes were in Dallas.  Now on the way home, everything was always a little fuzzy at night.  The lights weren't clear and I always had trouble seeing the street signs on the freeway.  Then one day, I went to see an eye doctor and I was prescribed glasses.  I got my first pair of glasses from a Wal-Mart off of Rufe Snow Drive in Fort Worth and I will never forget the day.  I put the glasses on and walked outside.  I was completely amazed at all that I could see.  It was as if scales had fallen off my eyes and it was amazing.  If you have ever had glasses, you completely understand.

So what is The Lens?  The Lens is what we see life through.  It's what we look through when we see other people.  It's also what we look through when we look in the mirror.  The Lens effects everything.  The thing I want to focus on for a minute is how the lens effects the way we see other people.

Have you ever seen someone you thought was strange or weird?  What makes them weird?  It's the way they look when you compare them to yourself or other people.  See I believe that we are all a little weird in our own ways.  But what if you are looking at that person through the wrong lens and instead of being weird they are actually just unique.  I think sometimes if we would take off our glasses that filter what is cool and what isn't we will find some very amazing individuals.  I think we should all look at other people through a certain lens though - the lens of love.

Now I am not talking about the mushy gushy feeling you get when you are around your boyfriend or girlfriend, what I mean is that we should love everyone.  God does.  Does that shock you?  God loves sinners.  Now I can already hear you screaming that he doesn't but it's true.  God only hates the sin but he loves everyone.  That means he can feel when others hurt even if they aren't living exactly the way he wants them to.  I say if it's good enough for God, it's good enough for us.  So let me ask you who are you looking at and seeing the wrong thing?  As you walk through tomorrow in this Christmas season, would you look at everyone you are near through a lens of love?  That's a tough thing to do but well worth it.

And that's another Opinion of the Minion

Dirty Politics

Hello Everyone,

I spent a lot of time talking about politics. And I think that it's important to give politics it's due. But it saddens me to see so many people get so excited and so animated about this subject and then when it's over the excitement goes with it.

I wonder what would happen if people channeled the same fervor and excitement that they have for the political issues and directed it toward constructive pursuits.  What would happen if we got very excited about helping our young people today?  What would happen if feeding people that needed food got as much a tension as much excitement as whether or not it's okay to burn the US flag or not?  What would happen if people got as excited about loving their neighbor as they did about condemning their neighbors choice and political party?

I think we would live in a vastly different world. Guess what poverty, low self-esteem, financial need, and  stress those don't have a real political party. So let me ask all my politically active friends what are you doing every day to help someone else in need?  Jesus praised people by saying, "When I was hungry you fed me when I was imprisoned you came to visit me when I was in need of clothing you gave me clothing."   He never said when I ran for political office you bombarded Facebook or the social media of the day with long laborious posts condemning the other party.  He didn't mention how you should vote.  When He judged people, he said, "When I was hungry you didn't feed me, when I was naked you didn't clothe me and when I was in jail you didn't visit."

Now before my far right wing or far left wing readers write me some critical comments, let me say that I am not against anyone voting there conscious.  As a matter of fact, I plan to early vote and I have already made up my mind how I am going to vote.  Many Americans gave their lives over the last 250+ years to give me that right and I plan to honor them with my vote.  I am completely for voting and doing what's right for this country.  I'm just appalled by what I hear through the media, Facebook and other places about politics from what some public entertainment figure has to say to what the left and right media have to say.

What troubles me is that I don't hear much about people helping others.  I remember one time I helped someone by giving them some supplies that they needed for their young kids.  The Lord told me to give them so much and I decided to give more than what the Lord asked me to do.  Now let me say that I did not hear the audible voice of God telling me to do anything.  I just knew in my spirit it was the right thing to do.  Anyway, after I gave them what the Lord told me to plus some, I felt like the Lord was smiling at me and was proud of me for what I did.  It was like He was saying, "Son, you act like me more and more!"  As I sat there in the car that day, I wept with joy at being that close to God and knowing that I pleased him.  I have never ever had that feeling or anything close from trying to make a political point. 

So what am I trying to tell you today?  What I'm saying is that it's high time we got off the sidelines and quit just talking about what needs to be done how we should vote what the right politician is doing or not doing and it's time that we stepped out and started making a difference in somebody's life.  So I want to encourage you today. After you're done voting and making speeches and talking about what's right and wrong with America please take the time to find that single mom and your church that needs a helping hand and give her some help. That's what causes me to have pride in America.  It's seeing Americans helping Americans not bickering and arguing about the political system or who should be in office but just an American helping someone who needs help!

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

What Have You Done Lately?

Words.  We hear them everyday from all sorts of places.  We hear songs on the radio, watch TV shows, talk to other people and we even hear our own words.  I think I heard that the average person speaks 10,000 words a day.  Which means that the average person hears at least that many every day and probably more.  That's a lot.

So today I want to talk about words, indirectly anyway.  See we hear things all the time and we say things all the time.  I tell my girlfriend, D, that I love her regularly.  Those words sound great and they feel great to say.  What's even better is when I hear her tell me the same thing back.  It feels awesome and I know she means them.  But how do I know she means what she says?  Or how does she know that I mean what I say?  The answer is really simple.  It doesn't require a great leap of faith or many hours of prayer and fasting to figure it out.

All D has to do to know if my words are true is watch my actions.  Do they line up with my words?  I tell her that I love her and then I do my best to show her that I love her.  I consciously consider whether or not my actions are lining up with my words.

This same thing applies to other places as well.  If I tell someone that I will do something and I don't then my actions and words don't line up.  I remember several months ago, I promised to take all the kids to a place called Main Event here in Fort Worth.  This place has bowling, laser tag and video games and the kids love it.  Now when the day arrived, I was feeling a little sick and I didn't want to go.  When I told the kids, my daughter said, "But Dad, you gave your word."  I had a choice to make.  I could either go back on my word and do something else or I could go and feel a little sick in the process.  Let me just say that while I didn't feel good, I wasn't completely sick or I would have stayed home.  I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't be smart and weigh the consequences of the situation.  But in this case, I should have taken the kids and we ultimately did.

Let me turn this blog in a slightly different direction and I will get to my point for today.  Many of us say that we are Christians but unfortunately our actions don't line up very well with our words.  I heard a story and whether or not it is true, it illustrates a good point.  A pastor of a church had a friend who ran a restaurant close to the church.  One day he and his friend were talking and the restaurant owner said to the pastor, "You know I have a lot of trouble getting people to work on Sunday."

"Why is that?" the pastor asked.

"Because the people from your church are the worst tippers and treat the wait staff rudely," he said.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard of Christians that I would never want to do business with because of the lack of integrity that I have seen.

So here is the real point.  The bible says in John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave...."  If we are going to say that we are Christians, it's high time we started giving.  When we go to a place to eat, the waiters ought to fight with each other to see who gets our table because we are such generous people.  When is the last time you gave to someone without expecting anything in return?  I hope the answer is recently.  But if not, it's time to make a change.  Remember God gives to us every day and he does it because he loves us.  If we are telling people that we are Christians, isn't it high time our actions lined up with our words?

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Conflict

Today I want to talk about something that is a very tough subject and honestly I don't know if I have ever seen people do this right.  I want to talk about how we solve problems between people.  Now I don't think that we can really go around solving other people's problems.  I know several people who have tried unsuccessfully to do that for years.  But what I want to talk about today is a great personal triumph for me.

Think with me for a minute about learning how to drive a car.  If you had never done that before and had never even seen a car, do you think you would be capable of driving one?  Let's say you managed to get the car started and drive it.  Since you don't know the traffic laws, there is a very good chance that you will wreck that car and quite possibly get someone else hurt right?  Well that's the way I think I have been with conflict resolution for most of my life.

If you are married or in a serious relationship, you are going to have conflict between the two people in the relationship.  If you aren't, you are going to have conflict between yourself and your friends and all sorts of other people.  Now for me, resolving conflict with friends has always been fairly easy but for years I have had conflicts with people who are close to me and had no idea how to resolve it correctly.  As I have said before, for a long time I simply turned my emotions off.  That wasn't the best thing but it made conflict resolution easy.  How?  Well, most of the time I would other people simply run over me. Whenever there was a conflict I was normally the one to try to keep the peace.  I read in the bible that blessed are the peacemakers and I tried to be a peacemaker.  The problem was, many of the people I knew only wanted peace on their terms.

That typically didn't work out well for me because I just gave in.  Was there really conflict resolution?  No because I just bottled up all the hurt and never found a balanced, healthy way to resolve it.  Part of my problem was having to deal with people who didn't know how to resolve it either.  Most of them learned that the way to resolve conflict was to get mad and yell.  If you show enough anger then the other side will back down and the conflict is resolved right?  In the short term, that is true but it is very damaging to a relationship.  So that way doesn't work either.

About a year and a half ago, the Lord really opened my eyes to my emotions and how they work.  Since then, I have felt a lot of things.  Most of them are new.  Many feel good but many do not.  This brought a change in the way I decided to resolve things.  If I didn't get a good solution to the problem and one that was more on my terms then I would simply cut the offending person out of my life.  I applied this to dating and I can tell you it didn't really work either.  What I was saying then was unless you are perfect, I won't be around you because if you mess up once, you must be like the other people I have dealt with who don't know how to do this any better than I do.  Guess what, that isn't a winning strategy either.

So why am I so excited?  Well I recently dealt with a person over a particular issue.  On the issue in question, the other person did something that aggravated me a little.  Now fortunately, I read a book earlier that day discussing conflicts and how we resolve them.  Some people believe that how you resolve conflict will indicate how long you stay in relationship with someone.  If you don't do it well, that relationship won't last.  Well in this particular case, I ran a quick errand to give myself a little breathing room to think through things a little.  When I did, here is what I discovered.  This issue did irritate me and it would be unhealthy for me ignore the emotion.  However, in the grand scheme of life, it really wasn't that big a deal.

The other person in this situation could sense that I was offended and thus became a little defensive.  I was able to share how I felt.  It didn't take long and as soon as I shared my feelings and knew the other person generally cared about how I felt, all of my aggravation over the situation left.  I felt much better.  At the end of the discussion this person felt better too.  The funny part is that I don't know if the other person has had much success in life resolving personal conflict either because I sensed this person was waiting for me to attack.  When I didn't it seemed like it was a little shocking to that person as well.  Did it feel great?  Yes!  I finally let something bother me, expressed my emotions in a calm and respectful manner and then the situation was resolved.

So what did I learn?  When you have a problem with someone, you need to acknowledge that their is a problem.  Don't stuff it down but don't react out of anger either.  Take a few minutes to cool off and get your head under control.  After that, take the time to express yourself in a respectful way to the other person.  After that, you will feel better.  Now let me also say that it certainly helped that I knew the other person loved and cared about me.  This particular person is also very level headed and very capable of rationally discussing the situation which was a big plus.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Box

Hello everyone,

Today I reposted what I believe to be the most significant thing I have ever said.  The post is called, the Box.  Recently my girlfriend and I were discussing homosexuality and I will not discuss whether it is right or wrong.  You have a bible, find out for yourself.  But I do want to stress that hate for people of that lifestyle is totally wrong.  See our job isn't to judge it's to love.  If you look at thing's through the lense of the Box, it will change the way you look at people.  So, here's the Box.




I have given this a lot a of thought and I believe that the Lord showed me something that changed the way I view people.

You see, when God creates a person he gives them abilities, passions, desires, talents and all sorts of wonderful attributes that we seldom ever see. Then he takes all these things and puts them in a box with silver wrapping paper and very pretty red ribbon tied in a bow around it. He calls the box - You. It is a present to the world. When I saw this for the first time, I looked around at all the people walking by and said to myself, "Merry Christmas!" because all I could see were beautiful boxes waiting to be opened.

The problem is many people don't even know what is in their own box much less have taken the time to look in someone elses box. This starts when we are in school. As we grow up, we learn all kinds of new things about ourselves: what we like, what we don't, the changes that our bodies go through, we learn things in school about the world and we learn about social interaction. But sometimes that social interaction teaches us that the stuff in our box isn't all that important.

Have you ever felt like the stuff inside you doesn't really matter? Can you look back to a point in your life where you were doing something you really enjoyed and someone else called it or you stupid or worthless?

When you pull the most precious parts of your life out of the box and let other people see them, it is scary because you are definitely vulnerable at that point. But know this, the Lord put all those wonderful things inside and they are of great price and value. Don't let someone cheapen what is so precious by their comments.

Everyday, I see people who are alive but aren't living. I think it is because they have told themselves that the treasures in their box aren't important or worth much so they don't do anything with them. They may not have done this openly but below the surface it happens. You have to know that if God took the time to create you and put all those treasures inside you, they are important both to him and to me.

When was the last time you looked in your box and pulled out something you truly enjoyed and used it? When was the last time you opened the box? When was the last time you were passionate about anything? Are you so caught up in the rat race that your box isn't important any more?

Here is another interesting question - When was the last time you opened up someone else's box to see who they really are and celebrate the gifts inside them? Do you always know what is wrong with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids, friends, parents, family, coworkers but never look inside the box for what is so awesome about them?

Husbands, what would happen if instead of criticizing your wife, the next time you saw her, you decided to look at something that was so precious to her, so beautiful, so tender, so amazing and something she loved about herself? What would happen if you nurtured that gift and encouraged it to grow? What would happen if, after you opened her box, she decided that your box was the most special one on earth and decided to touch the core of who you are? What if you both decided to go deep in your relationship?

Boyfriends, what if you looked at her and decided that you wanted more than just what was inside her clothes, you wanted what was inside her heart. Girlfriends, what if you decided that you wanted the same thing? What if you wanted to explore who they are and make them the best person they could be while they did the same thing to you? What if you looked at them and asked, "What can I give?" instead of "What can I get?"

Is this a little intense? Yes. Is it worth it if just one person decides to open their box or open someone elses? Yes. You see, I believe that I got to see a little glimpse of the creation through the creator's eyes when He showed me this. It was truly an eye opening experience and I can definitely say I will never be the same. I got to see how He looked at and longs for His creation to be all that we can be and how His love for us goes so deep His heart aches for us.

So I guess the real question is what is in your box? I want to know.

That's the Opinion of His Minion

Feelings

Hello everyone.  Today I want to write an opinion on something I know very little about.  So read at your own risk!

Today I want to talk about feelings.  This has been a hard area of my life to deal with.  For years, I didn't want to feel anything because feelings brought with them a lot of hurt and not much joy.  Now I am a business man so I definitely look at things in terms of return on investment and to me, if I let my feelings out then the bad ones definitely outweighed the good ones so why bother.

But then about 18 months ago, through reading a book that a friend of mine asked me to read, all those bottled up feelings came out after 30+ years of holding most of them in.  Let me tell you it was an experience.  I cried for a long time.  Then I just hurt.  Then I was so overcome with emotions that I freaked out a friend of mine by asking her out.  It was quite a mess and I realized now that I liked part of it but I really didn't like another part of it.

I liked feeling things because I finally felt alive.  Yes, it is possible to go through life feeling down and depressed and still be successful on the outside.  I did that and there were times when I had some feeling but I kept them as muted as I possibly could.  Why, because the ups didn't justify the downs.  But I did like all those feelings because at least I was alive. 

Now I have heard people say that we can't trust our feelings and that was easy for me for years because I suppressed all of them I could suppress.  But that statement is actually the point of my writing today.  I finally realized that while I enjoy all these new feelings, I can't rely on my feelings alone to make decisions about my life.  That is probably a "duh" statement for most of you but for me it is a revelation.

There are times in our lives when we want something so bad on the inside that we will do almost anything to get it.  Have you ever wanted to go out with a girl or do something so that she will notice you?  I have.  As a matter of fact, let me tell you a funny story from my time at TCU.

See during my senior year, I had a girlfriend, A.  Now A was a very nice person and I wasn't.  I was very selfish and only wanted what was good for me without really giving any thought to what was good for her.  Eventually, she figured this out and decided it was time to move on.  But since I had never really had a serious girlfriend and wanted to keep one (I wasn't in love with her but I was in love with the idea of being in love.) I decided that I was going to do anything to get her back.

So one night, I went over to her dorm and called her.  A friend of hers was there and they came down to check me out.  I made up some stupid story of being hit in the head and faked a concussion.  Or at least I did my best to fake one.  I have never had one and didn't really know the symptoms of one at the time so I gave it my best guess.  Why?  For sympathy of course.  I guess I hoped that she would take me back.  Well ultimately she took me to my parent's house.  Now my dad who used to be an ambulance driver took one look at me and knew I was faking it.  Needless to say, I didn't get the girl back.

Why did I do such a stupid thing?  My emotions told me to.  Now just today, I realized while having emotions is great, I can't allow myself to be ruled by them

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Leadership

Today I want to talk about leadership. 

The thing that really annoys me about this topic is I hear people talk about how to be a leader all the time.  As a matter of fact, four or five years ago, that was the "in" thing to talk about.  People wrote books about it, gave classes about it and in general told you everything you needed to know to become one.

But I really struggled watching people who were leaders that didn't have any people following them.  I saw several people who could tell you what to do and what not to do.  They were "in the know" about all sorts of topics.  In fact, if you needed help with a situation, just bring it up around them and they wouldn't even wait for you to ask, they would just "lead" you out with a lot of advice you didn't request.  Have you ever met people like that?

Well now I want to take a swing at how to be a leader.  Let's start with a good definition.  As I was working out this morning, I was reading a book by Dick Marcinko.  Dick was the leader of a group of Navy Seals in the 1980s and he has written several books about his team.  Now these books are not about his actual team, they are fiction and I would classify them as mental candy.  I don't know that the really expand my mind from reading them.  In the book I am reading now, Mr. Marcinko gave the perfect definition of leadership in two words - follow me.

See I think that is what real leadership is all about.  I am learning as I continue to grow in the places where the Lord put me in a leadership role that this is the crux of how to lead.  In my particular position, I tried to just let things evolve on their own and I basically just sat back and watched a lot of things grow on their own.  I was fortunate that the Lord blessed the work and it did grow but now I understand that I need to lead from the front and provide the vision. 

When I think of leadership, I think of two of my closest friends JC and BL.  They both embody the principal that I am discussing today.  Now let me tell you a couple of things that I learned from both of them while I was at TCU.  First of all, while I was learning these principals from them, I didn't always like them.  They were demanding and they were normally not very tactful in the way they approached getting us to follow them.  But I would have done anything either of them asked because of the way they led. 

See, I followed them.  Why because they were doing what they wanted me to do and they were doing it to such a high level that they did it better than everyone else.  Their challenge was always come up here where I already am and let's get better together.  See, if I wanted their leadership, I only needed to look in front of me because that's where they were.

These two guys embodied what Dick Marcinko said - follow me.  So what am I trying to say today?  If you want people to follow you just start doing what you want people to do.  Quit trying to tell everyone else how they should do something and just live your life as an example of how it should be done.  That's true leadership.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion.