You're Not Finished

Today I want to talk about something that I have been thinking about for a couple of weeks.  Most of the people who read this blog are young people but there some of us who are a little older.  Regardless of where you are in the journey of life, I want you to know that God's not finished with you yet.

I see people everyday who are not very successful.  Many of them feel like there lot in life is to just maintain whatever their state of life is now.  Maybe they work a 9 to 5 job, come home and watch TV, go to bed and start it all again the next day.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with the scenario I just described because there is not.  But most of the time those same people had dreams and visions when they were younger that they let slip.  Maybe they wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer and when that didn't happen, they just sort of let life slip by without trying to do what they dreamed.  Maybe they got discouraged because of some failure and that caused them to stop trying.  Let me just say, that regardless of your age, God is not finished with you.

We hear a lot in the bible about a guy named Moses.  Now Moses was a member of the royal family of Egypt by adoption and he was an Israelite by birth.  He lived a pretty privileged life for the first part of his life but then he hit a snag and got stuck in the wilderness for about 40 years.  At eighty years of age, he could have just quit on life and coasted in for the remaining years of his life.  He could have said he was too old to do much and it was just his lot in life to work for his father-in-law and watch his kids/grand kids grow up.  There would have been nothing wrong with that except God needed him to lead the whole nation of Israel out of Egypt.  He didn't start into his ministry/calling until he was well past the age at which he could draw social security (they didn't have it back then though) but he decided that God wasn't through with him and he did what God called him to do.

I have a friend who is working on going to medical school.  He is in his mid/late 30s which is past the normal age for people to start medical school.  Some people might say that he is too old.  After all, he will be in his early 40s by the time he gets done with residency, etc., and starts his practice.  But understand this, in a few years he will be in his early 40s regardless of whether or not he goes to medical school so I say he might as well chase his dream.  He is going to be that age regardless.  In a way that is similar to Moses, he decided not to let age stand in the way of accomplishing his dream.

So let me ask you this - what is your dream?  Why aren't you pursuing it regardless of your age?  You are not too old for God to use you.  You are not too old to accomplish your dreams so get busy accomplishing them.  Regardless of how old you are, dare to dream big and chase your dreams.  You might say, "What if I don't accomplish my dream?"  Well I say, "What if you do!"

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing

OK I have written several blogs about how to handle situations in life that don't exactly go the way we want them too.  I wrote about not quitting in hard times and several other things along the same line.  But today I want to talk to you about what to do when things are going great.

Many of us have battled how much we weigh right.  When those pants start getting a little tight, we start watching what we eat.  We start skipping dessert and cutting down our food portions until our clothes with the way we want them too, right.  There are all sorts of other areas where this applies.  How about when you hit a crisis?

I know there are places in my life and situations that are challenging to say the least.  When I hit tough places, I normally turn to my bible and begin to trust God in whatever area I need the help.  If my financial picture changes for the worse, I quit spending so much money, etc and I believe God to deliver me out of that situation.  But what should we do when things are going well?

Keep the main thing the main thing.  In my life things are going really well right now.  I am in a great relationship with a wonderful woman, my kids are doing well, my business is continuing to increase and in general life is very good.  What I noticed recently was that I quit seeking God as much as I was doing when things were not as nice.  I quit being as vigilant to do the right things with my life, etc.  Since He is the reason my life got better, doesn't it make sense that I continue to seek Him when times are good?  I think so.  He is my main thing.  But because He is the main thing, everyone else in my life benefits from my being near Him.

I have learned to be more loving and caring, to be smarter at work, to see needs better.  In short, I am continually transformed more into his image when I keep the main thing the main thing.  Now I am not saying that I am perfect by any stretch of the imagination.  The woman that I am dating says that we all get to be human and I think that is so appropriate.  But I am telling you that I am learning more and more every day to keep my focus in the right place.

Guess what, when we keep our priorities right and continue to do what we know to do, the number of valleys we have to go through will decrease.  Why?  Because sometimes the reason we wind up in the valley is because we are looking at the sky and fall off the road all on our own.  We quit paying attention to the small path leading us to the top and wind up in a mess.

So remember, Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

My Way Is the Best

Today let's talk about the best way to do something.  What is the best way to do anything?  Why it's my way of course.  Don't we all feel that way sometimes?  My mom's side of the family is a great family and I love them dearly.  We are a really funny group.  As a matter of fact, the last time I was in Tennessee with several of us at my aunt and uncle's house, we laughed so hard and so long that my jaws were sore the next day.  It was a lot of fun.  One of the funniest times for me with my family is when someone is going from point A to point B.  For some reason, this always sparks a debate.

The issue is how to get from point A to B and everyone in the whole family has a different idea of the best way to get there.  Some prefer to avoid stop lights, some prefer to avoid the freeway and some simply know the best back way.  But one thing is certain, we all know the best way and most of the time we think our way is better than everyone else.  Now this is all in good fun and no one ever gets mad but it does illustrate a good point.  My way is always the best way to me.  Of all those different routes, one might be better than the others and guess what, mine might be the worst suggestion of the whole group.  So what should the person who is going from point A to B do with all these suggestions?  Take the best one - even if that person's isn't the best.

Obviously this type of thing isn't a big deal.  If I chose to take my directions instead of my cousin's or brother's or some one's the worst thing that will probably happen is it will take me a little longer to get where I am going.  But let's take this same philosophy and apply it to something more serious.  How about being a good parent?  As I have stated many times, my parent's are both good parent's and good people.  But one of the things I wanted most for my children was to raise them according to God's way.  My dad has only started attending church regularly in the last several years and growing up, God's word was not as central to our lives as it should have been.  Mom and Dad, I love you both and I am not throwing rocks at your parenting.

My oldest child is twelve years old and my youngest is almost eight.  I have always thought that I was a good day.  After all, I took them to church, provided a nice house and good clothes.  I even play with them although I should do that more.  So I thought I was doing the right thing as a father.  Have I made mistakes along the way?  Sure.  I am not married to their mom anymore and it took both of us to ruin a marriage.

However, last summer I went to see a movie called "Courageous" and it made me realize that I needed to make sure I was being the best dad I could so I bought several Christian books on the subject.  Here is one thing that I noticed I wasn't doing as well as I should.  One of the things that attracted God to Abraham was that Abraham would teach his children the ways of God.  I thought about it and decided that I needed to do more of that.  I needed to help my children understand God's ways so that they would be farther along in their walk with the Lord than I was at their age.  I also realized that my way of raising them needed help.

Let me give you a couple of other examples that I learned about my parenting skills.  I hate to call this person my girlfriend because at 40 years old that sounds strange but I don't know any better words.  Her name begins with D.  Now D is a really good mom.  I have watched her around her kids and realized that there were several things I needed to change about the way I was raising mine.  First of all I pretty much let my kids eat whatever they want.  Neither their mom nor I have ever consistently forced them to eat healthy and that is wrong on both of our parts.  I think we both gave in to them because we didn't want to hear all the complaining that the kids did when they didn't get their way so we let them have it.  That was not the best way to do things.  When people approached me to tell me they were concerned, I always rationalized the situation away.  But after listening to and watching D, it made me realize that I needed to change my ways of parenting.

On another front, I always let my kids drink whatever they wanted.  That wasn't good either.  Sometimes I would rationalize things again by saying I was too tired to deal with all the complaining.  But again, I listened to D and she helped me realize that my way wasn't the best way.  D, let me publicly say thank you for all you have taught me.  I needed every bit of it.

Let me close by saying this.  While the mistakes I pointed out in my own life may seem obvious to you, there are probably areas of your life that I can do the same thing in return.  See, we all have areas of our lives where we think our ways are the best and they aren't.  Be open to learning a new way and becoming a better you!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Box

Today I want to revisit a topic that I have talked about several times but it was the real driver that started the Minion so I think it's worth looking at again.  I want to talk to you about the Box.  What is the Box?  Good question.  For me to answer that, I need to step back a several months.

Sometime around the end of May of last year, I was out walking down the Trinity River in Fort Worth.  At that point, I was really hurting because I wanted companionship so bad and I couldn't find it.  I was in the midst of finalizing my divorce which I have said may represent the greatest failure in my life.  My ex-wife and I had not been companions for many years and I really wanted that companionship.  I was lonely and it was not a fun time.  On top of that, I went through an emotional transformation that let all of the emotions I had closed off for many years out of the box at the same time.  I was not a pretty sight.  Well in the midst of this great change in my life, one of the most rewarding things I have ever done was birthed - this blog.  

As I started to write, I found an outlet for many of those emotions that I really didn't understand.  For the most part, I didn't want them and didn't think I needed them.  As I began to write these, the Lord showed me something that has revolutionized my life and I think I need a revival of this in my life.

See, God showed me something about how he does things.  In particular, he takes a box.  Now as I was walking that day, I saw it.  It is silver with a red ribbon around it.  The box and the lid are wrapped separately so that when you take the top of the box off, the ribbon and bow are still on the top while the wrapping paper and ribbon are still on the bottom as well.  It is truly a beautiful looking present.  God takes the lid off of this box and he starts loading it with all sorts of good things.  Once he is finished, he puts the lid back on and sends it to the earth as a present.  So guess what he puts in the box.  He puts in all sorts of wonderful gifts and amazing talents.  He puts kindness, compassion, love, generosity, and all sorts of good things inside this box.  He truly loves the people on the earth and he wants to bless them. 

Now because He loves people so much, He is constantly sending these boxes to the earth.  He takes great care to make each one unique and each one is perfect in his eyes.  Then after he has added His tenderness and joy to this gift, He sends it to the earth.  Do you know what he calls it?  He calls it - YOU!  He cares so much about others that He sent you here and when He did, He made you perfect in His eyes.  There are so many times that other people look at us and we may feel like we are inadequate or inferior in some way but we don't look at ourselves like God looks at us.  The Bible says, He is love.  Now we love people in many different ways.  We love our friends, we love our family, we love our children and we love that special someone in our lives but He is love.  We use love as a verb.  For God, it's a noun.  It's who He is.  And He is incapable of doing anything but loving you.  No matter what you think or others think, the creator of the whole universe thinks you are really special.  He thinks you are amazing and he intended for you to be a gift to the people around you.  He intended for you to be a blessing and He equipped you to do just that.  If you think you are not capable of blessing others, that is a lie from the devil.

So as you look at yourself, know that God made you the perfect Box full of all sorts of talents, abilities and capabilities.  Don't let anyone tell you any different!

Now I want to take this one step farther and leave you with this.  You know that person you don't like very much.  You know who I'm talking about.  The one who annoys you at school or the one at the office that just drives you up a tree.  Yup that's who I'm talking about.  God sent them to earth the same way he sent you and me.  He made them perfect and gave them amazing talents and abilities.  If this person doesn't particularly act right toward you, try to look inside them and see some of the good things that God placed inside them.  How about the person that everyone else calls a loser?  God made them too and He made them unique.  Guess what?  God has never ever made a loser.  He doesn't know how.  So when you see someone struggling, try to look inside their box and see the good things God has placed inside them.

That's another Opinion of the Minion 

The Minion Has a Dream

OK, my last post was all about day dreams or thoughts and how we need to be careful where we allow our mind to focus.  For many thoughts, I said that we need to keep them from running our mind.  So now it may sound like I am contradicting myself but I want to talk about allowing certain day dreams or thoughts that we want to run around in our mind until they do take root and cause us to change.

In my previous blog, I discussed thoughts that would lead to bad situations.  I have heard of people who want desperately to be married to each other.  The only problem is that they are both married to different people right now.  They begin to think so much about being with each other that eventually they do something that causes terrible pain in not only their own lives but the lives of others.  These situations start with a thought.
So let's spend a few minutes talking about thoughts that we should continue to think and mediate.  Let me give you an example of one..  I have said before that at one time I weighed 350 pounds.  That's pretty big right.  I was round almost.  I was 67" tall and 58" around.  That's not a good place.  Well several years before I lost any weight, I started seeing myself healthy.  I started seeing myself wearing slim clothes.  I could see myself water skiing and doing many other things.  I could see myself actually outside playing with my kids.  I even thought about what it would be like to be able to stand up, look straight down, and see my shoes. 

That sounds kind of crazy right?  Well I couldn't see my feet at that weight.  Here is a big one - I could see myself sitting on an airplane and not needing a seat belt extender.  I actually went as far as to start saying that I weigh 205 pounds.  Think about it.  That's totally ridiculous.  Now I didn't say this to other people.  I just said this to myself.  Did you know that is exactly what Abram did.  God changed his name from Abram to Abraham.  He was 90 years old and his wife was too.  They had no children and he started walking around saying I am the father of many nations.  Well guess what?  When you start lining your words and thoughts up with Gods, miracles happen.

Now, when I first started day dreaming about this stuff, nothing happened.  As a matter of fact, for several years everything stayed the same.  I didn't lose weight and I didn't exercise.  But one day, that vision became so big inside me that it started to change my actions.  I ultimately took this problem to the Lord and he delivered me from my addiction to carbohydrates.

Now this isn't some type of magic formula.  I didn't lose weight because I saw myself losing weight.  I lost it because God delivered me from carbohydrates and then I started eating right and exercising.  Remember, the only place that success comes before work is in the dictionary.  But what this did do for me was it gave me motivation.  I still had to do the work.  However as that vision of being skinny began to develop on the inside of me, gradually I wanted it more than I wanted pizza. 

What are your goals in life?  Those are things you should think about.  See yourself passing the chemistry test.  See yourself getting out of debt.  See yourself healed and whole.  When you start putting the right images in front of you, you will gravitate toward them.  Just like with the negative images, you will start to make your dreams a reality.

So if you aren't happy with some part of your life, maybe it's time to start getting a vision for where you want to go and what you want to be.  I know for me, I can get lost in the day-to-day grind of daily life and lose sight of what is really important.  I think I need to spend a little time working on my vision for my life today.

Thats' another Opinion of the Minion 

Know It All Minion

OK today I have to tell on myself.  We can all learn a lesson from this though.

Yesterday, I took an amazing woman with me to church in Houston, TX.  We decided that we wanted to go to church and how we got to this particular one really isn't important but let me describe the church.  I don't know how things really look outside of Texas but for this Texan, when you say small church it brings up a certain image.

The church building is a quaint little place and the biggest structure by far is the sanctuary.  But the whole thing isn't very big.  When you go inside, you find the steeple roof and the bench pews all neatly arranged. There is an alter down front where people go to pray every Sunday.  There you can pray with the pastor or some other deacon who is ready and willing to help you communicate with God.  Most of the time, you see a plaque on the wall that has three rows.  One with weekly attendance, one with the offering from the last service and I can't remember what's in the other row.

The people are all normally very friendly and they want to shake your hand and give you a hug.  They greet you warmly and there is a general order to the church.  That means that certain families have went there for many years and they sit in the same place every Sunday.  As you sit, there are three things in front of you.  There is the Bible, a hymn book and normally a little pencil to fill in the offering envelope that sits next to it.

Many times kids accompany their families to church and sit with mom and dad.  Sometimes it's because mom and dad want them there.  Sometimes it's because the church is so small, they don't really have a children's church.  Normally there is a nursery with a couple of grandmotherly figures who faithfully take care of the babies.  Many times, this is the second or third generation from the same family that they have seen.

The choir sings three hymns, the pastor preaches for about an hour and the whole thing is concluded by noon.  It's just the old time way.

See the thing is, I come from a very big non-denominational church in Fort Worth where we are taught from the bible.  I like our church and it is the best church for me at the moment.  Also, I read my bible every day.  I'm not saying that to brag, the devil knows the bible but it's important to this particular blog.  I have read the bible through several times and while I am not a bible scholar, I do know some things from the bible.  So when we sat down yesterday, I really wasn't expecting to get anything from the message.  After all, this was a small church full of sweet people.  They sang three hymns that I know well and there was only one person in the choir.  After that, the took up the offering and we were welcomed by everyone.

Now these were some very sweet, genuine, loving people.  And for the most part, they were at least one generation older than us if not more.  I was not expecting much revelation out of the service.  We went there to bless this congregation and we enjoyed the whole service.  It was a good one.  What I did not expect was to learn anything.  After all, I go to a big church.  I really didn't expect to get anything from the sermon but guess what.  The Lord used that as an opportunity to teach me that I didn't know it all.  I saw things in that sermon that I have never seen before in all my many years of reading the bible.  Lord, please forgive me for being arrogant.

Let me say, I did not have a major prideful spirit but I was walking in a little bit of pride.  By the end of the service, I am sure our offering blessed them but I know their service blessed and taught us both something.

So what am I trying to say?  We don't know it all.  God can use the most unlikely places to teach us something.  So be careful of that prideful spirit.  It can rob you of learning and so much more.  I am thankful for that sweet church and the sermon we heard.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

What to Forget

OK, on Monday we discussed what to remember.  Now let's talk about the other side of the coin.  We need to talk about what to forget.

Most of us have embarrassing moments in our life or times when we failed.  Because these were so painful, we can recall them in very vivid detail.  I remember my junior year of high school.  All of the good athletes made the varsity football team that year.  I was stronger than most of the kids in my class and thought I would be a lock to make varsity as well.  The first week of two a days, I was even a starter on the offensive line.  But there was one practice where we were supposed to work on pass blocking.  This kid across the line from me was quicker than I was and he ran right by me and sacked the quarterback three or four plays in a row.

Not only was I demoted from a varsity starter, I was sent to the junior varsity team.  It was humiliating.  To make matters worse, when the list came out and I everyone knew I was on the JV team, a certain classmate of mine made a very vocal point of telling everyone around that I was JV.  That was even more humiliating.  When I tell this story, I can still feel part of those humiliating emotions inside me.  They aren't very big and it certainly doesn't bother me but it is still a reminder of a failure in my past.

There was another time while I was at TCU that I was trying to make an ROTC sport team called Ranger Challenge.  Now the TCU team was one of the top squads in the nation and I really wanted to make the team.  At the very first of the season, I was running pretty well and I had a good shot at making it.  Then I got hurt playing softball and ended up being a back up.  I was devastated and it sent me into a depression.  Now my friends on Ranger Challenge never said anything.  They were great guys about the whole thing but I was still embarrassed.  This even happened at least 15 years ago and I still remember it pretty well.

Yet, when I graduated from law school, I graduated Cum Laude and 4th in my class.  I certainly remember doing this but it is more of a distant memory and it only happened about 10 years ago.

So why do I remember my failures more vividly than my successes?  Because pain can stay around longer than that feeling of happiness that comes from success.  Now I can certainly tell you that after all these years, I learned lessons from both of the failures I described above and that's a good thing.  But I let my ROTC failure ruin my grades at TCU.  I let my high school failure completely shake my confidence.

So here is what we should learn from what I did.  There are certain things that we just have to choose to forget.  I'm not saying that you will completely forget those bad things that happened to you.  Obviously I remember high school and TCU to this day.  But we do have to choose to let go of what happened and we definitely have to learn to "forget" the pain involved.  If we don't let go of those bad events in our lives, we will never have an opportunity to reach for and then celebrate success.

If we continue to hold onto and relive those bad memories too long, it's like trying to swim with cement shoes on.  It will just keep dragging us down.  We will never be able to soar to the heights God intended if we continue to focus on our failures.  Now I am not telling you to pretend that bad things didn't happen and I'm also not telling you to never be sad when bad things happened.  That would be ridiculous.  But what I am saying is after you have had some time to feel sad, let it go.  Don't go around talking to yourself or other people about your failure, let it go and start climbing to the next place God has in store for you.  No matter how bad things are in your life right now, God has a good plan for your life.

So let me sum this up by saying that there are going to be bad circumstances in our lives that we have to deal with.  I know they are there.  However, if we keep our focus on all the bad things that happen to us and never choose to focus on the great things we have done or that God has done for us, we will never achieve the full potential God has for our lives.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Why is It Always About You?

This is the title of a book I read on something called narcissism.  One definition of this word is an unhealthy love for ones' self.  Here's what I found really interesting about this.  According to the Bible, in the last days (before Jesus returns) people will be lover's of themselves.

Before I go any further, let me quickly say that I don't have one clue when Jesus will return.  I don't think the world is going to blow up tomorrow or that aliens are plotting with President Obama and the Chinese to overthrow Luxembourg or any of the other crazy rumors you hear these days.  I will also let you in on another secret.  I am not all that anxious for the Lord to return.  Let me tell you why.  Most of the people that I hear today who are anxiously awaiting God's return are also broke down, busted and disgusted people.  I don't want to be chased off this planet with my tail between my legs in Christ's return.  I want to finish my course and when I have been successful at everything that the Lord has for me here, then and only then will I be ready to move to Heaven.

However, I do believe that we are getting close to the return of Christ.  When will that be?  The bible says that God hasn't even told Jesus the exact time.  So if He hasn't confided the exact time in Jesus, I think it's a pretty safe bet that He isn't going to tell me either.

But I think I now understand what this whole concept of people being lovers of themselves means.  It means they will be narcissistic.  Is this a bad thing?  Yes.  Why am I bringing it up?  Because being around these types of people can be extremely unhealthy and there are going to be more and more of them on the earth.  If you are around friends who are like this, you may want to consider whether or not it makes sense to continue to hang around with them.  Also, we all need to check ourselves from time to time to see if we are acting this way.

The reason I find this so interesting is because I have talked to several people lately who were in counseling sessions (no, I am not a counselor) with other people who were diagnosed with this problem.  There is a healthy form of narcissism and I think we need to understand that it is OK to think about yourself and to take care of yourself.  But what we are talking about here is an unhealthy situation.

So let me give you a few things that are characteristics of narcissism:
1.  Like the title of the blog, for some people everything in their life has to be about them.  They can never talk or do anything that doesn't relate to themselves.  They also have to be first priority over everyone else.
2.  Most of the time, they don't apologize when they do something wrong or their apology is a very sarcastic one.  The reason this happens is that a narcissist believes their world is completely perfect and that they are perfect.  They have a hard time understanding that it's OK to have imperfections.  But like we have discussed before, no one is perfect.
3.  They project anything negative onto other people.  This sort of goes hand in hand with number 2.  If someone tells them that they are wrong about anything, someone else is always to blame for them being wrong.  For example, if you tell a narcissist that they were rude to a store clerk, the narcissist will always blame someone else for why they were rude.
4.  They rarely have the ability to make anyone else happy unless they are completely happy.
5.  Because they have to keep their world perfect, you cannot tell them that they are a narcissist because it would mean that they have an imperfection.

There are others and if you feel like someone in your life really has this problem, I encourage you to get the book with that title and read it.

So why am I telling you all this you ask?  Because these types of people can be very draining.  If you have friends like that, you might want to seriously consider whether or not the friendship is worth it.  If we stay in friendships like that, they are very draining on us and can ultimately do us a lot of emotional harm.

But here is the other reason I wanted to write about this.  I want you to take a look at those five items again.  Now this is going to be very hard because if you have a problem, then it will be difficult for you to admit to this particular one.  But I want you to ask yourself honestly if any of those things apply to you.  I don't want you to be overly critical of yourself.  Just because you came up with an excuse for something you did yesterday doesn't make you a narcissist.  However, if you can't admit that you are wrong, you do have a big problem.

See I was like that for a long time in a couple of areas.  I could not admit that I had a problem with food and I could not admit that I had a problem spending money.  Both were true but this was especially true with money.  I was a financial disaster.  It hurt not only me but also my family and I could not admit to myself that I had a problem.  Finally for me, I had an incident happen that actually woke me up.



That's another Opinion of the Minion

Is It Right?

Today I want to talk about something sort of serious.  The question - Is it right?  I talk alot about doing the right thing because it's the right thing to do.  Now I am not perfect at it but I really do want to do the right thing.  I believe this is the best way for me to live my life.  It's also the way the Lord wants me to live my life.

There is something else I should say before I get to the main point of this blog.  Doing the right thing means doing it when no one else is looking.  I have seen many fake people who only appear to do right when others are watching but the true test of whether or not we do the right thing is what we do when we are alone.

For example, I tried to lose weight for years.  I would go on diets and when I was out with people, I would eat a salad or something reasonably healthy.  If I was around others when I was "dieting" I ate reasonably well.  And yet several weeks into my "diet" I still weighed the same weight.  Why was that?  Because when I wasn't around other people, I wasn't eating healthy.  I was eating cookies and ice cream or some other form of sugar.  Was I doing the right thing to lose weight?  A small part of the time I was but not all the time.  Which brings me to another great point.  Doing the right thing means that is your way of life.  Does it mean you are perfect?  Certainly not!  For all of us Christians who go around trying to hold other people to the standard of perfection, stop it.  The bible says no one is perfect.

But what I am telling you is that we should try to do the right thing.  This brings me to my point today.  What is the right thing?  I have heard people say that we should do what makes us feel good.  That is the right thing.  Unfortunately, this just isnt true.  There is a right and wrong period.  It doesn't change. 

I was recently in a situation at work where I was going to have to tell someone we worked for that we had not done a very good job.  I thought about several ways to "spin" it and finally decided that the right thing for me to do was to tell them the truth along with what my plan was to correct the problem.  This person could have gotten very upset with me but this person did not.  This person just accepted what I said and told me to correct the problem.  End of story.  I could have tried to spin things but that would have only made the situation worse.  Many times doing the right thing will not feel good but it will get you the result you want.

There are times when I have wondered if I what I was doing was right.  Obviously even in our society today, we know that killing someone is wrong (or at least it's supposed to be).  But there are times when right/wrong is more difficult to distinguish.  Most of the time we know the right thing to do.  I know in my life there are times when I face decisions.  Sometimes I afraid of what will happen.  Sometimes I really want a certain outcome.  In those cases, it can be very tempting to manipulate the situation to get the outcome I want.  When that happens, I start to rationalize that what I am doing is right but sometimes it's not. 

Let me try to illustrate.  Have you ever been to a store or the bank and had the teller give you the wrong change.  Let's say I go to the store and the clerk gives me an extra $20 that really isn't mine.  There is a CD or something else I want to do with that $20.  Maybe I even want to take someone to lunch who really needs me.  That would be a very good use of the $20 right.  So I start thinking to myself that if I take the $20 and use it to help someone else then keeping the $20 is right.  How about if I just say to myself that it's the clerk's fault because he gave me the money.  I didn't do anything wrong.  After all I didn't take the money.  It's his mistake.  How about this.  Maybe God used that clerk to give me the $20 and this was really a blessing from God! 

What am I doing?  I really want to keep the $20.  If I step back for a minute and look at the situation, I know the right thing to do.  That isn't my money.  Make no mistake, God doesn't work in that way.  He has a million ways to get you money and doesn't need to resort to taking it from a clerk who will get in trouble for having the wrong change in his drawer at the end of the day.  The right thing for me to do is to bring the error to the clerk's attention and return the money.

To many of us this example seems a little trivial.  I mean it's only $20 right?  Well how about when we are talking about an unborn baby?  Uh oh, now what?  Did you ever notice that everyone who is pro abortion has already been born?  Ladies and gentlemen, I know abortion is a very sensative subject and I will not engage in a debate about it.  I'm merely trying to make a point.  If you have been a part of an abortion (and I have gotten a girl pregnant who had an abortion while I was at the clinic) then know this - there is total and complete forgiveness.  God loves you deeply and making a wrong decision doesn't change that.  You are not a second class citizen and you have not been cut out of God's family for it.

So let me sum this up.  We are all faced with decisions every day.  I don't think we will ever be perfect.  If so, we would not need God.  But I do think we should do our best to do right.  To do the right thing, we have to define what is right and what is wrong.  Let me end with this, you have got to stand for something or you will fall for anything (I don't know who said it but it's true).

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Perfection

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to talk to you about perfection.  Can we ever be perfect?  Many times I have said, "I'm not perfect.  I can't walk on water (I was referring to Jesus who is the only person to ever walk the earth and be perfect)."  I have to change that a little now because you don't have to be perfect to walk on water.  If God needs you to walk on water, He will cause that to happen.  I definitely still believe that he can do miracles today.  They are all around us.

So let's talk about being perfect.  See, I say with my mouth that I am not perfect but I have a very hard time accepting that as a real truth.  It's almost like I say it but I don't really believe it.  How many times do we hold ourselves to standard that we are not capable of achieving?  I have done it many times.  Do you ever get mad at yourself over making a mistake?  How about even worse, do you condemn yourself when you make one?  I normally don't get mad at myself if I make a mistake but I have been know to "enjoy" feeling guilty about making it for several days.  I once had an addiction (no it was not drugs or alcohol or anything illegal) that I could not break.  Now if I gave in to my addiction, I would feel guilty for several days after.  Why?  I guess it was my form of punishment.  Have you ever done that?

Now many of us church people will say that with God, all things are possible.  That's actually very true unless He has already stated something about it in his word.  Did you know it is not possible for you to go through life without facing trouble?  Jesus said that in this life we would have trouble but it's OK because he has overcome the world.  So I can't go around believing that I will not have trouble and saying that all things are possible through God because God already said I would face trouble.  Why am I using this analogy?  Because the same is true when it comes to perfection.  I have seen this in the church but it is prevalent throughout society.  We expect perfection of others.  If the truth be known, I think we do this because secretly we expect perfection out of ourselves.  We know that we aren't perfect and it makes us feel better if we can point out other people's imperfections.

Think about President Clinton for a minute.  I don't want to get into a political discussion but did you know he actually did some good things while he was in office?  All you ever hear about is the sex scandals though.  Why?  Was it wrong for him to do what he did?  Of course.  I'm not suggesting that what he did was OK but guess what it proves.  He wasn't perfect. 

So what am I telling you?  We can't expect perfection out of other people.  Guess what?  You are a people.  If you expect perfection out of yourself you are destined for disappointment.  Now I am not telling you that it is OK to use that as an excuse to do anything you want.  Someone might take this to mean that you should just do what feels good to you because after all you aren't perfect so don't worry about it.  I am not saying that at all.  You should work to do the right thing.  I mentioned earlier that I had a problem with a certain addiction.  Notice the key word - had.  It's not a problem today because God and I worked through it.

What I am telling you is that when you are striving to do the right thing and do your best, there are going to be times when you just mess up.  When you do, it's OK.  Now there are definitely consequences to actions.  If you are a student and forget to turn in a homework assignment, you might get a 0.  If so, then go on.  Next time try to remember to turn your homework assignment.

There may even be addictions that you are struggling with now.  Take those to God and ask for his help.  Now while there are no degrees of sin to God, there are degrees of consequences here on earth.  I over ate for many years.  I was mainly only hurting myself by doing that.  The consequences were bad health and a large food bill, etc.  But if your imperfections hurt someone else, get help.

So let me try to sum this up.  Other than Jesus, no one is perfect.  We can't hold others to a standard of perfection because they will never measure up.  But if no one is perfect, that means you/I will never be perfect either.  So we can't hold ourselves to that standard either.  Just do your best and give God the rest.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Doors

Today I want to take a stab at a funny topic - Doors.  Let's start with wooden doors and then we will move onto metal doors and glass doors, etc.  OK, for those of you who have read a few of these, you know that I won't talk about actual doors but I do want to talk about doors in our lives.

Just like I joked about there being different types of actual doors, there are different types of doors in our lives as well.  Sometimes a door represents an opportunity.  Maybe it represents a new job or a new position at your current job.  I could also represent the opportunity to do something new at school.  But doors can also represent a new friend, a new girlfriend or boyfriend, etc.  We can be talking about one of my favorite subjects - people.  This is were I want to focus for the next few paragraphs and then we will see where things go from there.

Have you ever had a relationship end?  Maybe they end badly and sometimes they just end.  As many of you know, I am 40 years old which means I have been out of high school for a long time.  Now I still keep in touch with some of my friends from high school and there are many who I don't see at all anymore.  I can't think of any of those people that I had some type of problem with.  We just drifted apart over time.  We all went to different schools, started working at different jobs and many of us started our own families.  That all happened over time and many of those "doors" closed in my life.

But there is another side to this.  Most of my very closest friends I didn't know while I was in high school.  We met somewhere along the path of life after and I am certainly glad we did.  All of those people represented doors in my life.  I had to be open to meeting them or I would not be friends with them today.  So let me pause here and ask you this.  Is your heart open to meeting new people?  For some it may be closed because of what happened with other relationships in your life.  I will try to address that in just a minute but let me say, your heart has to be open to new people or you will miss out on some truly remarkable ones.  I recently met a person in the strangest way and I am truly a blessed person because of it.  Which brings me to another point.  God has a million ways to put people in your path that he wants to be part of your life.  Don't let your thinking get so boxed in that you miss the opportunities he puts in your life.

Now let's talk a minute about what would cause someone to close all the doors to new friendship.  Most of the time this happens because someone in our lives has hurt us.  Somewhere along the path of life, a door closed but it didn't just close, it slammed on our finger and it hurt.  When that happens what do we do?

First of all, let it hurt.  Chances are if you are a girl, you are very in touch with your emotions.  You know how to cry and how to feel things on a much deeper level than if you are a guy.  Now us boys, on the other hand, don't do emotions like girls do.  So boys, you are going to have to let things hurt some if you are going to get true healing.  But once it hurts for a while, the healing process will take over and things will get better.  Have you ever cut your finger?  When you do it hurts.  That's your body's way of saying you need to put a band aid on your finger to stop the bleeding and start the healing.  But have you ever noticed that even before it is completely healed, the cut stops hurting?  It can be the same way with our friends.

So how do we start the healing process if we lose a close friend?  There are probably many things to do but I can think of a few that are pretty important.  First of all, admit to your part of whatever went wrong with the friendship.  If you did something wrong, you have to own your part.  Don't make excuses for why you did something, just admit that you did it, ask for forgiveness from God (who will give it to you instantly) and if it's appropriate, ask the other person(s) involved for forgiveness. 

Second, you have to forgive the other person.  This is pretty critical in starting the healing process.  When we hold onto those hurtful feelings and keep that unforgiveness all to ourselves, it can actually feel good.  Using anger at someone to overcome the hurt feelings we have is a pretty normal thing to do.  At first, it works great but just like a cut that gets infected, in the long run it can do us a tremendous amount of damage.  Have you ever seen what happens with a cut that gets infected?  If you let it go long enough, the infection will grow to the point that it can cause the loss of limb or loss of life.  This is the same thing that happens when we choose not to forgive someone.  Notice that the infection gets in us and hurts us, it doesn't hurt anyone else.  It's not contagious and we can't pass it to someone.  It's the same way with unforgiveness.  It only hurts us.  I know this isn't an easy thing to do sometimes because of the bad things people do to us but it has to be done.

Third, while we are on the subject of forgiveness, you have to forgive yourself.  Just like I talked about in the last paragraph, unforgiveness is a killer.  It spreads more quickly and does more damage when we don't forgive ourselves.  Why this is, I am not sure but I have noticed that when I am really getting down on myself it does more damage.  It's almost like opening another cut and letting it get infected.  It hurts about as bad.

Fourth, and this may or not be important, if you are in a hurtful relationship, you may have to leave it.  I will leave that for you do decide.

If you do these things, you are closing a door but you are doing it the right way.  After that door closes, you will find that another one opens.  Regardless of your age, if something like this happens in your life and the person that is leaving is a boyfriend or a girlfriend, this can be extremely painful.  You can have emotional attachments that are strong and they make you want to hang on to the relationship.  That's normal and that feeling is what caused you to become boyfriend/girlfriend with them in the first place.  But what if when that door closed in your life, a better one opened?  That is a difficult thing to see happening for most of us yet it happens all the time.  So, let me encourage you by saying this - If a door closes in your life, you have to process the door and bring "closure" to the situation.  Once you have done that, take a look around.  There may be a much better door right in front of you that you never saw before.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

My Faith Story

Hello everyone.  As most of you who read this blog know, I am a Christian.  An amazing person asked me to share my testimony with her and because if what she said to me after I told her, I thought I would share my personal testimony with you.  After you read this, I would very much love to hear yours.  Please, please, please right back and tell me your testimony.  They are such a blessing.

I have edited it a little but this is what I told her:

I think I was saved when I was four or five. The reason I say this is I have always thought that Jesus was my Lord as long as I could remember. Living like he was Lord was a different thing growing up. We went to a non-denominiational church that believed in the baptism of the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in other tongues. The problem with the penticostal denomination is there are some very wierd people doing extremely strange things that make everyone else look strange. I attend Eagle Mountain Church now and it is a non-denominational church. 

Anyway, let me go back in time. Growing up I had a drug problem. My mom drug me to church every Sunday and I hated it. It interfered with watching the Cowboy games and even when they weren't playing I liked to watch wrestling on Saturday night which put me up late.  Hey, I was just a kid.  I didn't know it was fake back then.  I watched local wrestling and really go into it.  Anyway, after I got out of children's church, my brother and I sat at the back of the church in a strategic spot that would allow me to put my bible under my right arm and keep my head straight up and down while I slept. The only way you would know I was sleeping was if you were sitting in front of me and turned around or if I snored.  No one ever woke me up so I guess I didn't snore too loud.  We were also far enough away from the pulpit that the pastor or preacher couldn't see us either.

Back then we went to Calvary Cathedral which is a non-denominational church near downtown. So I slept every Sunday and Pastor Bob Nichols would always end his service by saying, "Father, we have heard the word of God today...." I always felt bad because I hadn't heard it. I slept through the service and I didn't want to lie to God so I wouldn't say that part. Then I finally started staying awake and listening to the word.

That's about when I started TCU. At TCU I was in ROTC and was pretty excited about doing a "varsity sport" called Ranger Challenge. I was in the hunt to make the team when I had an accident at church softball practice that caused me to miss making the team (it was just a bruised thigh but by the time I could run again, I had missed it). That sent me into somewhat of a depressed state. To cut the story a little short, I ended up getting "kicked out" of ROTC because I couldn't hold my weight down and ended up moving in with a girl. This is probably the lowest point in my life and what happened next was truly terrible.  I got her pregnant and she had an abortion.  At this point, I was as far away from God as I ever remember being.  But here's something amazing.  I was far from him but he was never far from me.  The bible says he will never leave me nor forsake me.

While I was going through this period of my life, I obviously quit going to church. I thought up all kinds of nasty things to say about the people who went there. I said they were hypocrites, unfriendly, not real, etc. Word of what I was saying got back to the church I am sure but I never heard anything ugly in response. So, I was living in a one bedroom apartment with this girl and her parents came down and broke us up.  I met her parents before the pregnancy and I remember going for a walk with her dad.  Since we were in college, dating was serious and he wanted to know what my intentions were with his daughter.  I told her dad I wanted to marry her.  It's a wonder he didn't shoot me right there!  I was a complete disaster.  I had been kicked out of ROTC, I was barely able to stay in school, my grades were terrible and I lost my job because I was too lazy to go to work.  If my daughter brought me from back then home, I would have been horrified. After they broke us up, I ultimately got evicted from my apartment because I was too lazy to work and moved back in with my mom and dad. I was either 21 or 22 at the time. At this point, I knew something was desperately wrong. I could not figure out what to do so I would go sit in the bathtub with my bible knowing something wasn't right but not knowing what to do.

Finally, I decided I needed to get right with God (Maybe I got saved for the first time at this point. Honestly, I am not sure). So I decided to go to church with my brother who still attended our church in the youth service. I was prepared to be shunned and rejected and I deserved it but I needed to get right with God and I knew he would be there whether or not the people received me or not. The youth pastor's name was Mark Carillo and I know he preached a sermon but to this day, I have no idea what he preached. As I sit writing this, I am listening to a song called, "The Lighthouse." It couldn't be more appropriate. So Pastor Mark was preaching and it was all I could do not to yell at him to shut up and open the alter. I needed to get right with God and I wanted it done right then. The thought of just going to God on my own was something I could not quite understand yet. Anyway, as soon as he opened the alter, I was the first one down. Then something truly amazing happened. Those people who I had bad mouthed just gathered around me and loved me. They hugged me and prayed with me. It was living mercy that still brings tears to my eyes.

When I stood up, I knew I was right with God and it was a great feeling.

That's the testimony of the Minion 

Christmas Blues

Today I want to try to address what I like to call the Christmas blues.  Do you ever find yourself getting down at Christmas time?  If you are a child, it might not be as big a problem as if you are an adult but I even heard my friend KS say something about it in her blog.

For the last couple of days this has been my struggle.  I know the holiday season is here and I really look forward to Christmas until it gets here.  Does that makes sense.  In some ways it doesn't to me.

See right now I should be happy.  I have direction in all the major areas of my life, work is going fine, I feel like I am growing as a father and as a friend.  I have opportunities every day to help other people and I am entering the holiday season but I find myself more and more these last few days struggling to really get excited about Christmas.  Now I want to continue to help people, I want to be around people, and I look forward to giving them gifts.  I recently discovered that I am really a people person. But I find myself looking forward to January 2nd more than almost any other day of the year.  Why?  Because the holidays will be over.  Don't get me wrong, I don't get ba humbug but I just don't get as excited about the rest for some reason.

Part of the reason I think the holiday season can be difficult is because of what seems to be important these days.  Everything seems to be about the commercial aspects of the season.  At Thanksgiving it was a big meal.  Now we turn to Christmas and it's all about getting and giving gifts.  The whole thing has gotten a little twisted.  Giving of gifts was the first thing that happened on the first Christmas.  God gave Jesus, his son, to the world so that the world could be eventually be brought back in to right relationship with him.  We all know that Jesus eventually gave himself for our sins on the cross but did you know that on the first Christmas he gave up being in Heaven where everything is perfect.  We know he gave it up for us but he gave it up for someone else.  He gave a Christmas gift of his life to his Father so that He could have right relationship with His creation.  I bet you never looked at it that way right.

So what's the common thread in the giving?  Neither God nor Jesus gave a financial gift to the world, the both gave something infinitely more special.  They gave Jesus to the world.  With God is was always about relationships.  That was what was on his mind the first Christmas.

Now don't misunderstand me, I think giving gifts is a very good thing to do but I think there is much more to the season than just stuff.  If you don't get what you want, it's OK because if you got anything, you should be thankful that someone was there to give it to you.  Again, it's about relationships.  If you are a parent that doesn't have enough money to give your child everything you want to, don't worry about it.  There is someone in your life for you to give to and that's really important.  If you don't have enough money to give everything you would like to people, remember this - even though you don't have a lot of money, you do have something to give.  Let me tell you about a few very special gifts that I know of.

A few years ago, a friend of mine told me about getting things for her family at Christmas.  She is a really nice lady but was working a job that didn't pay very much money so she didn't have a lot to spend.  I think she gave her parents a framed picture of her but she made some part of it.  I guarantee that her parents will cherish that gift so much more than a new car.  See, she put herself into the gift.  She gave part of something special.  She gave her a small part of her life to her parents.  If you are the person who I am talking about and you are reading this, I bet you never thought of it that way.  :-)

Another person I know gave her daughter a gift for her birthday.  She was the first person to receive the Box award.  Here is what the person who received the gift had to say:

     “My mother cant afford a lot and I don't ask anything of her. This year for my birthday I said no presents.. just let me cook you dinner. Mom surprised me with the newspaper clippings and cards that came from my actual birthday. This was the most rewarding birthday gift ever. It made me feel like she was truly proud of me. “

I will tell you of another gift that shocked me.  I few months ago, I wrote an Opinion of the Minion about my grandfather.  Now I didn't really think this was one of my best blogs but I put it out there to pay honor to TS Rawle.  What shocked me was the response I got.  I wrote that particular blog because it was what I felt.  Comments on Facebook and e-mails came in from all over the family and everyone was touched.  I couldn't physically give them all a hug but I was able to give them something.

Do you ever find yourself coming down with the Christmas blues?  Well you are not alone, most people have to battle it at some point in their lives.  But know this, as you focus on the true meaning of Christmas and what the real gifts are supposed to be, you will see things differently.  You definitely have something to give and people will really appreciate a gift that comes from the heart much more than one from the wallet.
Well, I have done it again.  I have blogged myself happy.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Believe in Yourself

Today I want to encourage you to give yourself a tremendous gift this Christmas season.  Believe in yourself.  That may seem pretty hard to do.  I know it is for me sometimes.  Now when it comes to what other people think, I guess I look pretty "successful" but there are times when I have trouble believing in myself.

There are going to be times in your life when this is a very difficult thing to do.  Especially during the holiday season, it can be easy to get depressed and down if you let yourself.  My friend, Kari already posted something in her blog about this and I will try to deal with it later myself.

The reality is that you have to believe in yourself if you want to be truly successful and happy in life.  It is very easy for me to believe in other people and their abilities.  Do you think you can write a book?  I believe you can.  Do you think you can go to school and get a degree?  I believe you can.  Do you think you can overcome being overweight or some other addiction?  I believe you can.  Do I believe I can do any of those things?  Yes on the last two and I am working on the first one.  Now especially when it comes to writing, I didn't really believe that I was a writer until recently.  I must say I enjoy the experience.

Did you know that you can have self confidence in one area and lack it in another?  I know I do.  My daughter gave me a great glimpse this weekend of what self confidence looks like.  We were sitting at breakfast eating donuts when a mom walked through the door carrying a baby.  Many times when we see a little child, I tell the kids that they were once that small and we all laugh.  The mother had her back to us and the baby was big enough that he was holding his head up and it was above mom's shoulder.  Before I could say anything to my daughter, she said, "I was that big once."  She beat me to the punch and I smiled.  Then she leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "But I was cuter."  She obviously has no problem believing that she is a cute kid.  She certainly gets plenty of confirmation from everyone about this fact and that's good.

For me, I used to be fat but now I am not.  I must admit that I struggle in this area a little.  I don't have a bad self image but if a woman shows interest in me (for all my friends, yes it does happen occasionally), I have a hard time believing it.  That's not to say that it is an every day occurrence by any stretch of the imagination but it's nice when it happens.

I struggle to understand why it is so easy for me to have confidence in some areas and lack confidence in others.  I think it's because I am human (as much as I hate to admit it sometimes).  However, you have to believe in you before anyone else will.  Before anyone ever told me they appreciated the Minion, thought, I had to believe that I could write and do it.  Before anyone told me that I could lose weight, I had to believe that I could and change my lifestyle.  Before anyone ever believed I could go through law school, I had to prove to myself that I could.  Do you see the common thread?  Also consider this, if I had never took action on my belief, I would never have gotten anywhere in any of these areas.

See, faith in yourself or in God without works is dead faith.  You cannot truly believe in yourself without taking action in a specific area.  If I really do think I am a good guy, I should ask a girl out.  If I don't believe in myself enough to ask, how can I expect her to say she will?  And if I never ask, we know for certain that she never will.  Also, let me leave you with one more thought on the subject.  Let's take dating because the illustration seems clear to me right now.  If you want to go out with a girl and you never ask her out, you will never go out with her.  However if you ask her, she might turn you down but she might actually go.  Don't be afraid to fail forward.

So what am I trying to tell you?  You must believe in yourself and you must do so before anyone else will.  We will truly know if you believe in yourself by your actions.  Until your believe motivates you to act, it isn't really faith, it's still just hope.  So what are your dreams today?  Believe in yourself and give yourself a chance for success by taking a chance.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Somebody Like Me

This morning I am sitting listening to a song called, "Somebody Like Me" by Jason Crabb.  This song is about a homeless man that walks into a church and no one sits next to him, no one ministers to him and when he leaves no one goes after him.  Yesterday a friend of mine and I were listening to this song as we drove to lunch.  He said something that was true but it didn't sit right with me regardless.  He said that he had never seen this happen at his church and that people would have reached out to this guy if they were at his church.  I agree and that would probably happen at my church as well.  The problem is we get all emotional at church and then what happens when we walk out the door?  If we are Christians, what does Christ look like to the rest of the world?  Will Christ stop to help someone?  Will Christ give to someone in need or will Christ make some excuse about why he can't help.  Understand this - The only Christ that some people will ever see is you and me.

Let me tell you about a couple of places where I faced this situation.  One was in the church lobby a few weeks ago.  There is a lady at my church who I have sort of known all my life.  I have been to basically three churches in my life and her family has been at the same three.  The funny thing is we don't know them all that well.  This particular lady has such a sweet spirit.  She loves God and you can just tell.  On this particular morning, she was a Christian and I wasn't.  The interesting thing is that this particular lady has some type of mental disability and while older than me, she acts much younger.

As she walked toward me that Sunday, I didn't want to talk to her.  I buried my head in my phone pretending to be doing something but really I was just hoping that she would pass me by so I wouldn't have to talk to her.  All she wanted was to talk to someone and have them talk back to her with some amount of interest in what she was saying.  I however was too caught up in myself to be Christ.  As someone walked up and diverted her attention, I quickly got up and walked off.  Oh how easy it is to write this blog and have people from all over the world read it but when it came to actually being a member of the body of Christ I failed that morning.  When the reality of that set in, I was ashamed of myself because I know I am better than that.  Have you ever experienced a situation like that?  If so, you know how it feels to have an opportunity to do something for someone else and miss it.  My Father still loves me but He certainly couldn't have been happy with me that morning.  I know I wasn't.

But the Lord had a special way of telling me and showing me how much He loves me.  I don't speak with this person very often but the next morning as I was rounding the corner, here she came again.  This time was different.  I was excited.  I got an opportunity to talk to her and really more let her talk to me and I took it with gusto.  It didn't last very long but I know she enjoyed talking to me and I really enjoyed talking to her.  This particular Sunday, that somebody was me.  It felt great.

Now let's get outside the church walls.  What does Christ look like at Starbucks on Wednesday morning?  Please do not take the rest of this story as bragging because it isn't.  I constantly deal with the feeling that I don't do enough for other people.  It seems like no matter how many people I help, I never feel like I do much and certainly not enough.  Anyway, as I was sitting in Starbucks working this morning, and a man walked up to me who looked dirty.  He handed me a laminated piece of paper that said he was mute and looking for money for food for his family.  He showed me tatoos on his arms with the names of his parents and the dates of their deaths.  I really didn't want to deal with him because I was enjoying what I was doing.  Before he got to me, he stopped at another table to ask for help and they turned him down.  But here's the difference.  This time I purposed in my heart to be someone God could use.  I decided that God could count on me to show this man Christ.  I wasn't going to be relegated to the side lines this time.  I was going to get in the game.  He was going to see Christ give.  I am thankful that Christ gave me the ability to bless him.

Please don't take this wrong.  I, above all people, know that I'm nothing special.  But I do know that I serve One who is beyond special.  As we get closer to Thanksgiving, I want to challenge you to look around you.  If you are a Christian, what does Christ look like to the people who are around you?  Are you helping?  When was the last time you helped someone who could do nothing for you in return?  When was the last time someone saw Christ in you?  In my own life, people don't see Christ enough.

That's the Opinion of the Minion

Where Am I?

Today's blog will discuss three things.  Where do I want to be?  Where am I?  Where was I?

So let's get started with the first question.  Where do I want to be?  I think we should all have clear goals in life.  It's very important to have direction.  After all, if you don't know where you are going, you won't know when you get there.  So if you don't have direction in life, that's definitely something to work on.  However, I think many of us know are goals.  How about losing weight?  I want to lose about 30 pounds.  Many of you know my story and know that I lost a lot of weight once upon a time.  Unfortunately, I have found a few of those pounds in the last year and I need to lose them again.  Our how about getting better grades in school?  Many of you are still in school and I will bet many of you would like to bring your grades up right?  Where you want to be can cover such a wide range of topics from grades to money to relationships and just about anything else.

Now the problem with where I want to be is that it can really screw up where I am.  How?  Let me explain.    Most of us have some area of life that isn't the way we want it.  That's why we have goals of where we want to be.  If we had already achieved that goal, it would be where I am, not where I want to go.  Confused?  Let me illustrate.  My goal is to lose 30 pounds.  I am not where I want to be in that area.  I want to weigh a little less.  Where I am is 30 pounds heaver than where I want to be.  So here's where the problem comes in.  If I am not getting to my goal fast enough or if I am having struggles making progress, it can cause me to feel defeated.  It can cause me to feel like I am never going to reach my goals in life.  It might even be the driving force that causes me to give up altogether.  That's a very bad place to be.  Don't let your present circumstances discourage you from accomplishing your goals.

Let's look for a minute at the last place, where we were.  Now many times we feel that where we are and where we were are the same place meaning sometimes it seems like we struggle a lot and don't make much progress getting to where we want to go.  Sometimes that's true.  Sometimes we can even look at all our past failures and that can be discouraging.  But I want you to take a closer look in your past for a minute.  Find someplace where your life is better than it was.  Are you in the 8th grade instead of the 7th?  Are you living in a nicer house or driving a nicer car than you once did?  Maybe you have a better job than you used to have.  For me, I used to weigh 350 pounds.  I have definitely come a long way in that area of my life.  Use the successful area of your life for a minute.  You succeeded in moving forward in that area.  Now if you can succeed there, you can succeed in your next goal right?  Come on now, don't give me excuses.  If you did it once, you can do it again.  You can achieve your next goal.

Now that we have looked at where we want to be, where we are and where we were, I want to leave you with one thought by one of my favorite preachers.  I'm not where I want to be but thank God I'm not where I used to be.

And thats' another Opinion of the Minion.

Changing You

As I sit here working on a project that the Lord has placed in my heart, I believe he gave me something for this blog.  Today I want to talk about change.

As many of you know, I used to weigh 350 pounds.  I lost a lot of weight and am certainly a different man today.  I am so thankful to God that he got me from where I was to where I am.  But there was a part of that journey that really hit home to me this morning.

See, I was like most people who have weight issues.  I tried every diet that I could think of and most more than once trying to loose weight but I couldn't do it.  I tried Atkins (more than once before it actually worked).  I tried counting calories.  I even tried some 30 year old three day diet that my boss had.  None of them worked.  Here is the hardest part.  Every time I started one of those diets, I would make it a point to tell everyone that I was going on the diet.  I would start all of them with good intentions.  When we went out to eat, I would eat whatever was on the diet of the day.  I could normally stick with it for at least a few days.  Occasionally I would make it a week or two before I fell off the wagon.

I was also the king of starting a diet "tomorrow" or "next week."  I would even tell my friends this.  Several times I would decide right before Thanksgiving that I was going on a diet.  I was married then and my ex-wife's family had a massive gathering at our house.  Now they always brought that good Paula Dean kind of food.  I recently heard someone say that she wasn't a chef because of what she cooked.  Well if you are from the south, you know that her food will put a smile on your face that Ajax won't take off.  Lynn's family always had the best turkey and dressing with all the trimmings plus the best homemade desserts in the world.  Now obviously I couldn't really start a diet on that day so it was always going to start the day after Thanksgiving.  It never did.

Eventually, I think my friends and family refused to believe me when I said I was starting a diet.  They had good reason not to believe based on what they were seeing from me.  After all, I never kept my word about the diet.  Not once.  So most people didn't believe me.

One day, I told my trainer JC (no not Jesus Christ - but maybe I should start more training with Him) I was going on a diet.  He told me something that still resonates with me today.  Now I pay my trainer to train me and I am certainly not used to people I pay talking to me in this manner but he was right.  He said, "Tommy, you are full of sh*&.  Don't ever lie to my face again about dieting.  When you get tired of being fat, you won't be fat anymore and you won't have to tell anyone.  They will know."  He was exactly right.

I never told anyone I was going on a diet again.  As I started losing weight, people would notice and say something to me.  See, I didn't have to work to get someone to see what I wanted them to.  I just did it and they saw the result.

I said all that to say this.  When you get tired of whatever issue you are facing, go to God and ask for his help overcoming it.  The two of you will beat anything that you want to get rid of.  But many times when you make that decision, people won't get excited about it.  That's OK.  It's your vision for your life not theirs.  Don't worry about it.  Once you decide to change something, just cling to your decision with all your might.  I don't even think you need to tell anyone that you decided to change.  Just make the change and everyone else around you will see it.  And remember, God is right there to help you through any problem or area of life you want to change.  He won't do everything for you but he will supply what you need to change your life.

I want to encourage you today.  What area are you facing that you want to change?  Take it to God and get his direction.  Then just go about changing.  Don't tell anyone - just do it.  When the results are shown, people will see it.  But know this - You and God can overcome any challenge you face.  Well, once again, I have blogged myself happy.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

Forgiveness

OK.  I have a confession to make.  I am writing this particular post for my benefit.  As you read it, I hope it helps you too.

Have you ever had one of those times when you really did something that you thought was wrong?  In the southern United States, we might say have you ever had one of those days where you showed yourself?  Well recently, I did something that I knew was wrong.  Now most people wouldn't consider what I did to be wrong but it was wrong to me and that's what matters in this case.  I did something I said I wouldn't do. At the very least I broke my word.  It was something that really bothered me for a while.

Now I did the right thing afterwards.  I went to the Lord and asked him to forgive me.  I was truly repentant meaning I didn't want to make the same mistake again.  Do you know what happened?  He forgave me immediately.  See his word says that if we confess our sins to him that he is faithful and just to forgive us.  He then takes the memory of our sin and puts it away.  If I had asked him five minutes later about the same sin, He would have purposefully forgotten what I was talking about and wouldn't discuss it.  Because in his mind that situation was over and done.  He didn't hold it against me.  To him it was as if the whole thing never happened.  Now if He is God, the ultimate judge and jury, and He forgave me, why is it I felt so bad for a few days and then why did the feeling bad go away?

Let me tell you my theory.  First of all, I believe you should be remorseful if you do something wrong.  I am not suggesting that we should just not care when we make a mistake.  That's not true.  The Lord will convict our spirits when we do something wrong.  The reason he does this is so we can repent and go the right direction.

So why did I feel so bad?  Punishment.  I think I needed to punish myself for what I did.  God didn't leave the condemnation on me, his conviction was gone as soon as I confessed what I did and asked for forgiveness.  I put all that one me.  And notice something else about what I did.  After a few days, I didn't feel bad anymore.  Today I wish I had done a few things differently but I don't feel bad about what I did anymore.  I mentally served my time.  I can also hear some of you getting upset because I don't feel bad now for doing something wrong.  I didn't say that I felt like it was right.  I just said stopped feeling bad.

So here is the thing.  I need to learn to forgive myself just as quickly as God forgives me.  Once I admitted I was wrong.  That should have been the end of the whole situation.  If God forgives me, I should forgive me too.

Let me ask you this.  When was the last time you did something "wrong"?  It may not be considered wrong to anyone else but you considered it to be wrong.  Did you ask God to forgive you?  If you did something to someone else, did you ask them to forgive you?  Now here is the real question.

Did you forgive yourself?

If you didn't, what are you waiting for?  Once you forgive yourself, forget it.  Try hard not to make the same mistake again but forget what you did.  It's over.  Sometimes that's easier said than done as I experienced recently but it is the right thing to do.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

A Minion's Test

Today, I want to talk to you about something many people want but can't seem to figure out how to get.  It's a testimony or a success story about their life.

Before we get very far, let me say that you cannot have a testimony or a success story without first having a test or trial.  Now I don't know about you but I like the testimony part of things.  I can tell many areas where God has touched my life and I do have several cool testimonies.  I can tell you how God changed my finances, weight, personal fitness level, or how his love is in the process of totally consuming my life.  All of these areas are good stories to tell and several people say I should write a book about them.  I do like to tell the story and I really enjoy watching people's faces as I tell my weight loss story and while much of it is painful, there are some really funny things that happened while I was losing all the weight (Ask me sometime about the Spanks story).  I have a gift that came from my dad.  I can tell a story and generally make people laugh.  Most of the time, they laugh at me but I don't really mind, especially when it comes to my weight loss.

Even when I weighed 350 pounds, I would tell stories that made people laugh at me.  Back then, I did it because I figured that if I was making them laugh, it was somehow better than them laughing at the fat guy behind my back.  I guess that's a little twisted but that's where I was.  Obviously I am not anywhere near that weight and it doesn't bother me at all for people to tell me I was really fat because it's true.  That's part of my testimony.

But why doesn't it bother me anymore if people say I was fat when it would really hurt my feelings back then?  Well that's where the test comes in.  If I wasn't tested where my weight is concerned, I would never have had a testimony.  The test for me was many month's long and required me to totally change my life when it came to what I ate and how much I exercised.  During that test, there were many days that I failed but obviously more than not, I succeeded but every day for 14 long months was a test.  Was I going to eat carbohydrates or not?  Was I going to exercise or not?  How was my attitude going to be?

All these things tested my will and strength of mind.  And food was a regular test.  At one point, I walked into my office and my office manager had been to Krispy Kream donuts.  He brought one dozen of those hot fresh morsels from heaven into my office and you could smell them from one end of the office to the other.  That was a two fold test.  The first part was do I eat the donuts or not.  The second part was harder and it was do I kill him for bringing them into my office (I wanted to be just like Cain and Able.  I was going to just kill him and tell my aunt he died).  OK, obviously I am joking on the second point but the first test was very real.  Guess how many I ate that day?  0 - Not one single donut.  I passed that test and now I have a testimony.

Let me ask you this.  What areas of life are you struggling in?  Where to you want to have a testimony?  What success would you like to be able to tell people you have conquered.  Is it weigh, finances, relationships, grades?  Maybe it's something more serious like drugs, pornography, or some other very strong addiction.  Maybe it's just being able to get out of bed ten minutes earlier every day.  Regardless of what you want your testimony to be, know that you have to pass the test first.  If you don't pass the test today, you get to try again tomorrow.  So if you want to create your testimony, you have to pass your test.  If you have struggled with something in your life you want to change, don't quit.  That's part of your testimony.  If you fail 100 times but try 101 times, you will succeed.  So don't quit.  Keep taking the test until you have written the testimony you want.

And that's another Opinion of the Minion

A Minion's Good Judgment

Today I want to deal with the subject of judgment.  Don't you just love to be around people who are always judging you or someone else?  Those are my favorite types of people.  Well not really.  I very much dislike being around them.  But let's talk about judgment for a minute.  If you have ever been to church, you have heard the quote from the bible, "Judge not lest ye be judged."  We have taken that to mean that when I am around someone who hurts me or does bad things to me, that I can't judge them right.  I think this is very true.  I cannot judge a person period.

But what I can do is judge their actions.  It's OK to judge a person's actions.  But what I think we really like to do is use judging a persons actions as a spring board to get to what is really fun - judging people.  See I caught myself doing that here recently and honestly I didn't really even know I was doing it.  But before I get to that, let me talk about some things its OK to judge.

Sometimes we are around people who use this don't judge people thing as a way to manipulate us and hurt us.  All the while, they are saying that you can't judge them.  What they are really saying is they want you to continue to allow them to treat you badly.  That's not OK.  If you are around someone who is constantly hurting you, their actions are wrong and that is what I am judging.  I am not saying they are a bad person.  However, don't let people manipulate you into doing what they want if it is wrong.

While I am at it, let me step on a few more toes.  If someone comes up to you and tells you in a loving and kind way that they think you are behaving wrongly, consider what they say.  I know some people who are very difficult to correct because they cannot take someone telling them they are wrong.  I personally like to know when I am wrong (this is not an open invitation for you to correct me).  Let me say that I only trust a few people to tell me I am behaving wrongly.  Most of the time, I listen to my heart and the Lord will correct me where I need correction.  Be thankful when someone does that for you, if you know they really love and care about you.  For me personally, I don't want to go around being wrong.  Have you ever had that dream where you are walking around in your underwear or worse and everyone is laughing at you?  Well that's a little drastic but I think when we walk around constantly behaving wrong in an area, that is exactly what we are doing.

So let me tell you about the wrong kind of judgment.  I know this guy who was extremely judgmental to certain people in his life.  As a matter of fact, he really didn't like having them around.  Why, because some of them did do things that hurt his feelings.  Some of them did nothing to hurt his feelings.  He was just judgmental.  Now I don't know if he was ever judgmental outright to these people's faces but he certainly was in his heart.  He didn't really do it on purpose but he couldn't separate judging a person and judging their actions.  See some of their actions needed to be understood.  In some ways they used him but didn't know it.  So what did he do in return.  He got mad and judged them personally.  He considered himself a pretty humble guy.  He didn't go around openly telling everyone that he thought he was smart or successful.  He didn't go around showing off how much money he made or what he had (although many people thought this was the case).  As a matter of fact, he quit showing people the cool stuff he got and he quit telling people about the cool things that happened to him because some people got jealous.

Regardless of what they did to him, he began to judge himself as better than them.  Now here is where it gets a little strange.  He didn't judge himself smarter, or more successful, or more educated than the people around him.  That would have been too obvious.  He judged worse than that.  He began to see himself as nicer than them.  He would look at his wife and see all the times that she did things that were not nice toward him and only consider the nice things he did for her.  He is to this day a giver and began to feel that people took advantage of that.  So he judged himself to be a nicer and therefore better person than many of the people around him.

OK let me give you three guesses on this guy's identity.  Do you really need three guesses?  Yup, you know it.  This guy is me.  It is a very humbling experience when the Lord shows you that you aren't really all that.  Now I quit judging people before I started writing for the most part but I didn't realize that I was doing it.  It's easy for me to hear people saying nice things about this blog and some of the other stuff I do.  I even have a good friend who told me she thought I was a great guy.  She didn't mean it as one of those blow off things.  This girl really puts me on a pedestal.  She sees things in me that I didn't know were there.  As a matter of fact, there was a certain thing about the Minion that happened that shocked me.  She said that she was surprised it took as long as it did.  So guess what, the Minion isn't all that.  I have already done this in private but I want to go on record in front of you and ask God to forgive me for being judgmental.  That is truly a terrible thing to do and I am ashamed of it.  If I have judged you wrongly instead of just judging your actions, please forgive me.

So let me ask you a question?  Where are you being like I was?  Where are you judging people?  I bet that somewhere you are judging them instead of their actions.  That has to stop.  Do you like to sit around and talk about other people?  That's called gossip and it's very judgmental.  We have to stop that.

That's another Opinion of the Minion