Old Friends

Today I want to discuss a subject that I have come to appreciate more in the last week.  I want to talk about friendship.  Before I get to my Opinion for this blog, I need to back up a little.

Not that long ago, a good friend of mine, A, went home to be with the Lord after a long fight with cancer.  Now A and I stayed in touch over the years but we didn't stay as close as we were growing up.  I met A when I was in the 7th grade and we are both 41 (A is very much alive, he just went to a place called Heaven).  I still have fond memories of playing football.  A played center and if I remember correctly, he was a starter on the 1st team (or A team) when we were in middle school.  We are a lot alike.  I can still see him wearing his 3/4 top Nike Monster cleats when we played ball.  Later we called him "Hair" because when we were in high school he had long hair.

I also have very fond memories of us playing hide and go seek when we were in middle school with a whole group of kids from our neighborhood.  When we played, our boundaries were several blocks in every direction and we had a lot of fun.  Now A wasn't the only kid I hung out with.  There was B.  He was the high school baseball stud pitcher when we were in school and interestingly enough, he was also very smart.  For a while B and I were best friends and we were inseparable.

There were other kids in the neighborhood too - B and his little brother A, B and his little brother C and  several others.  For the sake of time I will stop right there except to say that B and I went to see my friend A the other day.  It was a very hard time for both of us.

Now let me fast forward to watching my own kids.  Over the last week, I had the opportunity to watch my kids pretty closely and one thing I noticed was that a couple of them were not very well adjusted to playing with other kids.  Why?  Well, one answer is that they don't have very many kids around them to play with.  That small fact - having kids around to play with - was something I realized was a true blessing in my life and also something that I see missing in my kids lives.  I learned a lot last week.  I can't say it was an easy week but it was certainly rewarding.

So let me leave you with the two things I learned from this past week.  First of all, kids need to be around other kids.  So parents please find ways to help your kids socialize.  Second of all, grew to really appreciate all the great kids I grew up with.  A, you will be missed.  I love you and even though we didn't stay as close as either of us would like, I miss you.  Let me leave you with this - Appreciate your friends.  They are truly a gift from God.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Be You

Today I want to deal with another subject that grew out of a very sensitive conversation that I had with someone recently.  As in my last post, I will not go into the situation because it was a very sensitive one and it could cause the person who talked to me harm even though I don't think anyone involved reads this blog.  I am not sure why people want to talk to me but it seems that they do.  (If I am fortunate, it is because people see the love of God come through me to them).

Let me use an example from my own life to illustrate my point.  When I was married, I changed a lot.

Some of it was for the better - I was a financial train wreck waiting for a place to come off the tracks for many years of my life.  As a matter of fact, some people who knew me back then thought I was crazy for going to law school because I was so irresponsible that they didn't think I could make it through.  Eventually I changed over time and grew out of that which is a very good thing.

I also became a father.  That was definitely a change for the better.  When the movie, Courageous came out I watched it and my heart broke.  I realized then that I did not know how to be a great father and I really wanted to be one.  Now I don't think I am a bad dad but I definitely know I can improve.  But being a dad for the first time definitely changed me in a good way.

But I also changed in some not good ways.  I quit being myself because part of me seemed to always make my ex-wife mad.  The Bible says that people who make peace with other people will be blessed so I always tried (most of the time unsuccessfully) to make peace with her.  But in doing so, I lost touch with part of who I was.  I was never really comfortable around her.  I don't think that she was responsible for this.  As a matter of fact, there are parts of me that I should have refused to change because they were really who I am. 

As an aside, don't use this as an excuse to be mean or act inappropriately to anyone.  I can hear some guy saying, "Well I just like a lot of girls.  That's part of who I am so it's OK for me to date other girls while I am married to someone."  NO I am not saying that.  Quit being a jerk.

But what I am telling you is that you need to be true to who you really are.  If you like football, that's OK as long as it doesn't rule your life.  If you like romantic movies, that's OK as long as it doesn't rule your life.  See it is important to stay true to yourself.  Don't let people change you to the point that you don't even recognize you anymore.  That's a mistake.  Now I have decided to just be me.  That doesn't mean that everyone has to like me.  Some people probably don't but that's OK. 

So I want to leave you with this.  Stay true to who you are.  Be you.  Do the right thing even when it's not popular but be you.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Go To the Source

Hello Everyone,

I haven't posted in a long time and I apologize for that.  I made a comment several months ago about being bored and I have been busy since.

Over the last 18 hours I have been involved in a situation that prompted this post.  As the situation that I have watched would be extremely embarrassing to the people involved, I will not mention anything about this particular one.  I will say this though - I have no condemnation for anyone involved.  If you are reading this and you are involved, you know who you are.

So let me start with one simple question.  What do you do if you hear something bad about someone?  We all know people who like to gossip.  There are also people who tell you things just because they think you should know for some potential benefit to you - Read that just another excuse to gossip.  Well, here are my thoughts on what to do and not do.

1.  Don't go telling other people about a situation unless they need to be involved.  You don't need to tell your best friend (boys or girls) about something that you heard bad about someone else.  All you are doing is spreading the situation to more people and probably hurting some one's reputation in the process.  Did you know that the bible says that we are to love our neighbor like we love ourselves?  How do we do that?  Well one way we do that is by not running around telling people about all the bad things we have heard about other people.  See the bible also says love covers a lot of sins.  Now I am not telling you to keep your mouth shut if you know someone is in danger or has been abused.  In that case, go to someone who is in authority (your parents, a teacher you know or even the police if it is really serious) and tell them.  But your best girl friend or best buddy really doesn't need to know.

2.  Don't assume that just because you heard some rumor that it is true.  I believe it was in the 1950s when some guy on a radio in New York City started a rumor on the radio about alien invasions that caused a big panic.  It was just a joke but a lot of people got shook up over it.  Also, I remember when I was in high school and the boys started talking about sex.  I can tell you that 95% of what they said turned out to be untrue.  Be careful not to judge someone just because you heard a rumor about them.  That is a very dangerous thing to do and it can hurt people who don't deserve it.

3.  If it really doesn't concern you then just forget it and keep on moving.  Most of the time, when we hear things about our friends, we really don't need to know about it anyway.  If someone walks up to tell you something bad about your friend, you can choose not to listen at all.  After all, will it make you a better person to hear the rumor?  Will it help you be helpful to your friend?  Maybe but most of the time it won't.

4.  Lastly, if you must know something about the rumor or the story you were told, go to the source.  As many of you know, I have been divorced for about a year now.  Well, before I got divorced someone started a rumor that I was having an affair on my wife and it was completely untrue.  I never did anything like that.  This particular rumor got back to someone I am very close to and instead of spreading the rumor or calling someone else to verify what she heard (read that still just spreading the rumor), she called me.  It was a very loving act and I appreciate it to this day.  She will always have a special place in my heart.

So let me conclude with this.  Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will kill you.  Be careful what you say and hear about other people.  It is best just to let rumors drop and die when you hear them but if you must discuss it with someone, call the source and get it straight.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion