Hard Times

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to talk about hard times.  What are they?  Are we supposed to have them?  How do we handle them?

Well, as I have mentioned several times before I didn't like dealing with my emotions so I stuffed them in a box.  In the same way I didn't like dealing with the thought of hard times in life.  I didn't like dealing with hard things either because guess what - They came with negative emotions and I really didn't like that.

So what are hard times?  Well, it's interesting that the definition changes based on your circumstances.  I have helped a couple of kids with homework in the last six months.  Now to them, they were in hard times.  The deadline to turn the homework in was rapidly approaching and there was a lot to do.  Also, because they had never done a couple of these projects, it was even more difficult because sometimes they were unsure of what to do.  Because I have had a lot of school and done a lot of projects (and because we were talking about sixth grade stuff) it didn't really bother me so I didn't consider the situation all that intense.

That makes sense right because I am comparing where I am at 40 years old with where sixth graders are.  But let me tell you this.  I have also noticed that there are certainly challenges that come with being a parent that seem very hard to me.  Now my girlfriend, D, who is an amazing parent has already been through some of what I am going through and while she encourages me and tells me that I am doing a great job, some of these things seem easier because she understands them already.

Of course there are other circumstances that most of us adults either have faced or face now like financial hard times or the loss of a relationship.  All these things hurt.

Now I am sure this is obvious to you but I really didn't understand that all of these things are normal and a part of life.  Even Jesus said, "In this life you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."  That was a revelation for me.  I hated conflict and trouble and did everything I could to avoid it.  I even buried my head in the sand a few times and tried to pretend that hard times didn't really exist.  I know you have never been as stupid as I was and I am glad. 

Very recently I went on a trip that was very hard for me.  The people I was with caused me a certain amount of challenges and I was definitely emotionally overcome.  Now nothing really bad happened but I didn't know how to handle several situations and there seemed to always be a situation to handle.  But, by God's grace, I was able to handle each one and with his help, I was told that I did a very good job.  So what do we do when hard times come?  The answer is pretty easy - Face the hard time and overcome it.  Like Jesus said, He has overcome the world. 

I heard someone say the definition of courageous is not that you are never scared.  The definition of being courageous is being afraid and doing what needs to be done anyway.  This week, I got an opportunity to face something that really had me worried.  Fortunately for me, the other person in this situation is amazing and we were able to work through what we needed to.  But one of the things that made me feel good about myself is that I didn't bury my head in the sand - I faced the hard time head on and with the Lord's help, we overcame it. 

Guess what - Every time you face something hard and overcome it, you grow.  So don't worry about hard times.  They will come.  But with God's help you can overcome everyone.  I will leave you with this - when you face a hard time and overcome it, the next time you see it, it won't seem very hard.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Do Nice Guys Finish Last? (Part 1)

Today I want to talk about something I have heard more than once.  Have you ever heard the saying, "Nice guys finish last"?  Well I have and for a long time I sort of thought it was true.  But I have to tell you that at age 40, that's not true at all.

Before we get to the nice guy part, which I may have to address in the next blog, we need to distinguish between being nice and being a door mat for other people.  See for many years I considered myself a nice guy and I really am one.  Before everyone gets all wound up, I don't say that with conceit in my heart.  If you asked my mom or any of my friends they would probably tell you the same thing.  If you asked God I know he would tell you that.

So as a nice guy, here is the mistake that I made.  I have always wanted to be considered one of the good guys.  Several months ago I started dating an amazing woman and I have met several of her friends and family.  They all seem to have a very high opinion of me and that really blesses me.  It doesn't bless me because I want everyone to think highly of me, although I do.  It blesses me because it says that there is evidence of me becoming the person I have always wanted and that other people can see the evidence.  That is truly a blessing.

However, for many years I thought that I was only a nice guy if everyone else around me said so.  In other words if I did something that was unpleasant to someone else and they didn't like me, it meant that I was not a nice guy.  Let me give you an extreme example.  This example is made up and I would not have felt bad about it but hopefully you will see my point.  If a guy was robbing a gas station, I might not have called the police because I was afraid the guy holding up the gas station would not like me.  If he didn't like me then I must not be a nice guy because my definition of being a nice guy centered around everyone else liking me.  That sounds pretty silly right!  Of course it is!  But how about me letting people use me occasionally and take advantage of my generosity because I didn't want them to get mad at me?  That happened a few times.  Now if you are my friend and/or family, I am not pointing fingers at anyone and I am not thinking of anyone specifically so please don't feel like this is pointed at you.

I can even give you bible reference for some of my problem.  Jesus said if a man asks you to go a mile, go two.  Now we all know that Jesus is love so he must be a nice guy.  If Jesus said to do it, then I should do it.  After all, I am trying to imitate Jesus.  Or how about the time Jesus said, blessed are the peace makers. Jesus also said that strife was bad.  So my philosophy was to keep the peace, avoid strife and give more to people than what they asked.  Sounds good right?  Well, I got very out of balance in this area and it took me several years to understand this.

So what is the difference between the two situations I discussed.  When I talked about people who think I am a nice guy, I know that I am one.  Wether or not someone else notices doesn't change that fact.  In the other case, I used what others thought to define me.

So what am I trying to say?  Before I get to whether or not nice guys finish last, we have to define "nice guy."  A nice guy is someone who is helpful to others, respectful, caring, understanding, etc.  Now I may not be all of those things yet but I am striving to be.  Just because everyone doesn't like me or I do something that makes someone else unhappy, doesn't make me any less of a nice guy.  I guess this all gets back to defining yourself by who you are and what the bible says you are, not what other people think of you.  Next time I will talk about whether or not nice guys finish last.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Another Fox Takes On the Minion

OK today I want to deal with a strange subject.  Let's talk about dreams.  In this particular blog, I am going to deal with deal with bad fantasies.  Before anyone goes down the wrong track, I am not talking about sex although those can be very dangerous.  I am talking about other kinds of dreams/fantasies.

Have you ever heard the saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"?  Well most of the time, that isn't true.  The problem with always looking at how green the grass is on the other side of the fence is that at some point you will want to get on that side of the fence and you can destroy your side in the process.

I know in my own life, if I start thinking about something long enough, I will try to get whatever I am thinking about.  In the process I hurt myself more than once.

Now let me give you an example from my life that will illustrate the point.  Fifteen or twenty years ago, I would get hit with the new car bug about once a year.  Now back then, I couldn't afford much of anything. I was married and even before we had kids, we struggled financially because of my poor choices.  Anyway, I might see a car running down the road or on TV and the bug would hit.  I would start thinking about getting a new car.  I would day dream about it and then the next thing you know I was at the car dealership actually attempting to buy a new car.  Because my credit was so bad, I didn't get to buy one but if I could, I would.  I couldn't afford what I had much less trying to buy something new.

Here is another area that caused me a lot of trouble.  I would start thinking about food a lot.  I weighed 350 pounds and you don't keep yourself at that weight without eating unhealthy all the time.  I never found a buffet I didn't like but there were plenty that didn't like me because I ate all their profits.  I wanted to eat out every meal.  Now we couldn't afford to do it but that didn't stop me from doing it.  I could even eat out when I had no money.  Did you know that before I was finished eating breakfast, I was thinking about what to eat for lunch.  Food consumed my thoughts.

How did I eat out without using money?  You might guess credit cards but that would be incorrect.  I was so broke and my score was so bad that credit card companies would not give me a credit card.  Did I steal food?  Well no.  So here is what I did.  We would have no money in our bank account but I would go to the grocery store and cash a check anyway.  I would reason that the check wouldn't clear my bank before I put my paycheck in the bank so what was the harm right?  Unfortunately, that would not be the case many times.  The check I wrote would get to the bank before my paycheck and then I would have to pay the bank $20 and the store $20 for the $25 check I wrote.  So I would have to pay $65 for a meal that wasn't worth it.  Why did I do that?  Because my thoughts were consumed with food.

Now that was a real problem but the same type of problem can be much worse if someone was always thinking about another man's wife or how about how much money someone else has?  These types of thoughts are from the devil and we have to be very careful of them.  So what should you do when you get them?  First of all, you have to recognize them for what they are.

They are thoughts that don't line up with the way God wants us to think.  They are thoughts that can lead us to do something stupid.  Now let me give you something else to consider.  If you are always thinking about getting to a better place than where you are now, you will never be happy.  After we recognize that those thoughts aren't good for us, we have to make the conscious decision to think about something else.  When we do then God can help us change the direction of our thinking.  That's what the bible calls casting down imaginations and things that exalt themselves against God.

Just remember that where you spend most of your thought time, you will eventually try to go in real life.  Be careful of where you want to go as many times those fantasy places are not even real.  If we aren't watchful of those thoughts, they can lead us to make bad decisions that can really effect us.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Watch Out for Foxes

Today I want to talk about foxes.  It's funny because when I was a teenager we might call a pretty girl a fox but we don't call them that today.  Now while some guys might say that a pretty girl can certainly be trouble, I am not talking about them today.  However, I do want to talk to you about another type of fox.  The Bible says that little foxes spoil the vine.  I know this has been true in my own life.

Let me talk to you about a couple of things that happned to me in the last few days.  Yesterday I got up and went to the gym.  After I got done lifting weights, I went out for a run.  Well at least it should have been a run but my hips were hurting so I ended up running part of it and walking part of it.  Normally when I run, I let my mind sort of drift where ever it wants to go.  I think about my day and what needs to be done and the people in my life for the most part.  But yesterday was a little different.

My mind drifted to a couple of people and situations that I don't particularly like.  I envisioned myself confronting them and telling them exactly what I thought of them.  As I was doing this, I noticed that my mood started to darken a little.  I am generally a very positive person and I wasn't turning into Voldemort but I wasn't as positive as I normal.  Here is something else I noticed, I wasn't really all that upset with any of those people or situations, I was upset with the fact that my run was going extremely slow and that I was in a pain.  So the real question for me was how to let my thoughts effect my day.  If I continued down this path, I was destined to be in a bad mood the rest of the day.  These little foxes were going to spoil my day if I didn't do something.

At some other time, I will talk about the two Ts - Trust and Thankfulness.  For now, let me say that I had to trust God during my run and I had to consciuosly walk away from those thoughts.  When I did, my whole world brightened back up and I did enjoy the rest of my day.  While I am on the subject, let me say a word about the other T - Thankfulness.  I was out in the fresh air on a beautiful morning run/walking my normal six mile course.  The first several weeks of this year have been the best start of a year in at least the last 20 years of my life.  I have the most amazing woman in my life.  She has two kids who are truly a blessing to be around and I enjoy spending time with them.  I have three of the most amazing kids God ever gave anyone.  My business is going up and a new business that I started is really picking up.  For the first time in a long time, I feel great.  What's my point?  The Lord has truly blessed me.  God has been very good to Tommy!!

On top of that, both of my legs work just fine; I can see; I can smell; I can touch; I love and I am loved.  Let me take a side trip to relate a story that is pertinent to thankfulness.  On another morning I went out to run and had a bad time.  It wasn't a bad run but it was slower than I like.  After the fact, I was grumbling inside about life in general but the root cause of my grumbling was a bad run.  I was blaming other people for all kinds of stuff.  On the outside I was smiling and having a good day but on the inside I was throwing a temper tantrum like a two year old kid.  Eventually the Lord had enough of my unthankful attitude and He told me so.  You wouldn't have heard what He said to me because I heard it on the inside but it had a lasting effect.  He said, "You see that man over there in the wheel chair with no legs from the knees down?  He would almost kill someone to be able to go and do that "sorry" run you just did."  Well that jerked the slack out of me in a hurry. 

The same was true for my run the other morning, I trusted God to do what he said in his word and deliver me from those stupid thoughts (the foxes) that were running through my mind.  Once I put a stop to those, I went on to have a very productive day.

Let me wrap this up by asking, what little foxes are spoiling your vine?  Maybe you are faced with an annoying person or situation.  Maybe you are just allowing your mind to run all over the place like mine did.  Maybe you are just complaining too much.  Whatever it is, I want encourage you to take a hard look at it and make a conscious decision to walk away from it.  If you will focus on the positive things going on in your life, it will make the negative ones get so much smaller.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Wait

Ok, I have touched on this subject in different posts but I want to illustrate it again because it's a lesson I am continually being re-taught.  Today I want to talk to you about waiting.  This can be a very hard thing to do and it is especially hard at times for me.

Ladies let me help you understand something about men.  When we are presented with a problem, our first thought is fix the problem.  I know that many times ladies want to discuss the problem just to get their feelings out.

Men, this is a good thing and we cannot change them.  We will make them much happier if we learn to listen to them when they are expressing themselves.  Many times when a woman is telling us about a problem, she is just wants to express her emotions.  This is a good thing and we as men, need to be more in touch with the emotions that are inside us.  When a woman tells you about something that is bothering her, don't try to fix it unless she asks you to.  The more you learn to empathize with her, the better your relationship will be.

However ladies, you need to understand the way we operate.  God wired us to solve problems so if you present us with a problem that you just want to talk about, you can help us help you but letting us know up front that's what you want.  For either sex, if we expect our partner to read our mind, we are setting ourselves up for failure.  Why do you think God gave us mouths?  He intended for us to speak.

So judging by this you would think that I had an issue with the amazing woman that I am dating right?  Well, you would be wrong.  We communicate very well.  The issue I had was an internal one that I had to discuss with God.  Now this particular issue that I was working through was really not a big deal.  It didn't cause me a great amount of stress and it is certainly nothing critical now.  It is simply an issue that I know I will face at some point in the future.  When and where I am not sure at this point but I know I will face it.

So here was the problem, I was trying to figure out the answer to this particular issue today.  It wasn't even an important issue today and I wasn't spending a lot of time consciously thinking about it.  I could just sense it sort of floating around in the back of my mind.  I knew that even if I had the perfect solution, it was not the right time to do anything about the "issue."  I hate to use the term issue because it really wasn't yet.  But like I said, men see problems as a challenge and as you know most men enjoy challenges and for the most part I am no exception to the rule.  Are you ready for the revelation that the Lord told me.  It is of massive proportion.  Here's what he said - stop.

That's it, stop.  He didn't tell me to do anything but stop.  He brought this song to my mind.  It's called "Only Believe."  Some of the words are, "Only believe, only believe.  All things are possible.  Only believe."  I love this song.  But what He was telling me was to wait on Him.  He was telling me that He would give me the answer to this particular challenge when the time was right.  But today was not the day.

It took me a little time yesterday to let this sink in but when it did, it was liberating.  Sometimes the hardest thing to do is wait.  Sometimes we want to jump out and fix a problem without knowing how to fix it.  If we don't really know what God wants us to do, we can try to crack eggs with a sledge hammer.

So what am I saying today?  Here are some of the things the Lord reminded me of through this.  First, today has it's own things to deal with.  Sometimes we try to jump to far ahead.  What are you facing today?  Deal with that today and spend much less time worrying about tomorrow.  Tomorrow will have it's own stuff to deal with.  Second, it's so extremely important to simply trust God.  For this particular challenge, I don't have the answer but I know One who does.  I know that God will see me through every challenge.  Sometimes I just need to be reminded to trust Him.  Lastly, stop and wait.  There are going to be times when we have to just stop and wait.  It may not be our nature but it is the right thing to do.  I hope this helps someone.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Make a Difference

I read somewhere recently that sometime around 40 years old, something happens on the inside of many of men.  They begin to evaluate their life and there is a deep desire to make a difference in the lives of the people around them.  As many of you know, I am 40 years old and I know this is the case in my life.

There comes a time in many lives where we sit back and wonder what mark we have made on earth.  For some that might mean being the best mom they could.  For others it might mean being the best friend they could.  For me?  Well, I don't know the complete answer yet.  Part of what that means to me is being the best dad I can.  As many of you know I have three really great children and they are certainly a blessing.  But yet, I know that with blessing comes responsibility.  It's my responsibility to make sure they have a house to live in, food on the table, and clothes on their back.  It's also my responsibility to make sure they go to school and get a good education.  Now by the grace of God, I have done this so far.  That should make me a good dad and I could sit back and feel like I've made my mark.  But as a dad, I recently got a true revelation of my real responsibility to train them up in the ways of the Lord and to be/do all the intangible things.  Because of that, I have recently read several books on how to be a true Godly man in front of my children.  If I can impart this to them, I will certainly have made a mark on the world because they can carry this forward.

But while being a great dad is very important, it will not be enough to satisfy me.  I want to do something that will say I was here many years after I depart for Heaven.  So what else should I do?  I want to be a great companion.  There is a song by a group called the Crabb Family called Ellsworth.  This particular song is about an elderly woman who has started to mentally slip to the point where she doesn't know a lot about her day to day activities any more.  But if you bring up her husband, she clearly remembers how much she loved him and how much he loved her.  It's similar to a movie called "The Notebook."  Yes, I've seen the movie.  I want to make that type of mark on a woman's life.  I want to be so good to her that 50 years from now, if I'm gone before her she still remembers how much I loved her.  I want to make a difference in her life.  I think I may be at the beginning of that opportunity now and I am really enjoying it.  There is something very special about a good woman.  Did you know Solomon said he looked through 1000 people and found a real man but he had never found a real woman.  Well I guess I am more blessed than Solomon.

Where else can I make a difference?  I can make a difference in the lives of the people who work for me.  On of the greatest privileges in my life is to have the opportunity to be part of God blessing other people with good jobs.  This is certainly a place where I can make my mark in the world.  I can grow my company to the place where I can continue to put people to work and help them feed their families.  Will this make me a lot of money in the process?  Yes.  Is money my motivation for growing a business?  In part I suppose it is but the though of making a difference in some one's life is a bigger motivation.  I recently added a full time employee to our company and I can tell you it was a good feeling knowing that I gave someone else an opportunity to succeed.

I guess I am certainly pleased with the difference I have made so far in the people around me.  And guess what.  Many of them have made a big difference in my life.  In the last several weeks I have become very content and my heart has filled to overflowing because of one person in particular.

But I still want to be able to touch more people's lives in a positive way.  As I am sure most of you know, that's the reason for this blog.  Thank you for reading them and I hope they do make a positive difference in your lives.  Let me stop for a second and say that setting out to make a difference in other people's lives may seem like a strange thing to do.  After all, aren't we supposed to make sure that we are happy?  Well the answer to that question is partially yes but let me tell you what happens when you set out to make a difference in someone else.  You will get happy in the process.  Giving unselfishly to others will produce more happiness in your life than you could have ever imagined.

So let me challenge you with this.  If you are younger than me or older the time to start making a difference is now.  Start with those closest to you and then expand your horizons.  Before you know it, you might be touching people literally around the world.  You can even do it from a small place like Fort Worth, Texas.

That's another Opinion of the Minion 

The Love Tank

I am not sure if today's blog will be something truly meaningful to anyone but me.  However, today I want to reflect on something interesting in my life.

For the first time in some time, I am actually content.  Today I sat for a little while and thought about why.  What I came up with actually startled me a little.  There is an author named Gary Chapman who wrote a book called "The Five Love Languages."  It is a very good book and if you haven't read it, you might consider it.  Now in this book, he says that we all have a love tank inside of us and that we all have different things that fill our love tank.  While I'm not sure his list is all inclusive, I can't think of anything that would not fall into one of those five categories.

Also recently, I was talking to a very special person in my life and she made in interesting observation.  She said that her heart was full.  I remember at the time this struck me as something interesting.  She recently told me that she ponders things in her heart and I guess that I have been pondering that statement ever since. 

I think she was saying that her love tank was full and since I had read a copy of Gary's book that was directed at children, this concept really stuck out in my mind.  I don't believe in coincidences and I believe that the Lord was trying to show me something but it took me a little while to understand what.  See, I think for years that I have been running on a love tank that read - empty.  There are a many reasons for this and I certainly won't try to address them in this post but suffice it to say that is the way I have felt. 

Now have you ever heard the saying, what goes around comes around?  Well, I believe that is a true statement.  Some people call it karma but in all reality, it's a principal that comes from the bible.  The bible describes it as sowing and reaping.  In other words, what you sow, you are going to reap.  Most of the time we all think of this as doing something bad.  A while back, I played a little joke on my mom that we both laugh about and recently someone else played the same joke on me and we both laughed about sowing and reaping.  Have you ever hear of something bad happening to a bad person and then heard someone else say that person got what was coming to them?  Well, I think that can be true at times.

But what if the opposite was true?  What if when you do good things for people, that same type of stuff happens to you?  I almost find this hard to believe for many reasons but I know the bible is true and so it must be true that when I sow good stuff, I eventually reap good stuff.  For years I have tried to be someone who sows good stuff into other people's lives and didn't really see the results I thought I would see back.  I remember writing a blog this summer where I talked about breaking the cycle of being hurt and hurting other people.  In that blog, I talked about how Jesus was hurt by John the Baptist's death and how he helped people even though he was hurting.  I hope this doesn't come across as bragging because I am not.  This is just a point that needs to be illustrated.

As I sat here today, I realized that I truly was at peace.  I'm not restless, not in a hurry, not trying to figure out what to do tomorrow.  I'm just content.  Why am I content?  Because that love tank or my heart, however you want to classify it, is full.  Now I have always tried to be a giver but I can tell you that when your heart/tank is full it is much easier to give than when it's on empty and you are doing it out of obligation.  There is someone who will read this and know that they are one of biggest reasons my tank is full.  To that person, let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart.  That wasn't the only source that filled my love tank but it was the biggest.

So what can we learn from this?  Well there are a few things that I can think of.  First of all, keep doing good things for people.  If you do that, sooner or later things will start coming your way.  They used to sing a song in church and one of the lines was, "You've gotta keep on casting your bread upon the water.  Soon it's gonna come back home on every wave."  This is true in life.  Second, don't quit.  My mom sent me a link to a blog by Pastor Bob Nichols and the first line said, "Don't quit on your first day and don't quit on your worst day."  I like that a lot.  Sometimes, you will wonder what's taking so long for the good things to start happening in your life but don't quit.  They will come if you keep at it.  Lastly, for now, it's OK to be happy.  This content feeling bothered me because I was so used to not feeling it, it took a couple of days to get used being content and understanding that it was OK to feel this way.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Doors

Today I want to take a stab at a funny topic - Doors.  Let's start with wooden doors and then we will move onto metal doors and glass doors, etc.  OK, for those of you who have read a few of these, you know that I won't talk about actual doors but I do want to talk about doors in our lives.

Just like I joked about there being different types of actual doors, there are different types of doors in our lives as well.  Sometimes a door represents an opportunity.  Maybe it represents a new job or a new position at your current job.  I could also represent the opportunity to do something new at school.  But doors can also represent a new friend, a new girlfriend or boyfriend, etc.  We can be talking about one of my favorite subjects - people.  This is were I want to focus for the next few paragraphs and then we will see where things go from there.

Have you ever had a relationship end?  Maybe they end badly and sometimes they just end.  As many of you know, I am 40 years old which means I have been out of high school for a long time.  Now I still keep in touch with some of my friends from high school and there are many who I don't see at all anymore.  I can't think of any of those people that I had some type of problem with.  We just drifted apart over time.  We all went to different schools, started working at different jobs and many of us started our own families.  That all happened over time and many of those "doors" closed in my life.

But there is another side to this.  Most of my very closest friends I didn't know while I was in high school.  We met somewhere along the path of life after and I am certainly glad we did.  All of those people represented doors in my life.  I had to be open to meeting them or I would not be friends with them today.  So let me pause here and ask you this.  Is your heart open to meeting new people?  For some it may be closed because of what happened with other relationships in your life.  I will try to address that in just a minute but let me say, your heart has to be open to new people or you will miss out on some truly remarkable ones.  I recently met a person in the strangest way and I am truly a blessed person because of it.  Which brings me to another point.  God has a million ways to put people in your path that he wants to be part of your life.  Don't let your thinking get so boxed in that you miss the opportunities he puts in your life.

Now let's talk a minute about what would cause someone to close all the doors to new friendship.  Most of the time this happens because someone in our lives has hurt us.  Somewhere along the path of life, a door closed but it didn't just close, it slammed on our finger and it hurt.  When that happens what do we do?

First of all, let it hurt.  Chances are if you are a girl, you are very in touch with your emotions.  You know how to cry and how to feel things on a much deeper level than if you are a guy.  Now us boys, on the other hand, don't do emotions like girls do.  So boys, you are going to have to let things hurt some if you are going to get true healing.  But once it hurts for a while, the healing process will take over and things will get better.  Have you ever cut your finger?  When you do it hurts.  That's your body's way of saying you need to put a band aid on your finger to stop the bleeding and start the healing.  But have you ever noticed that even before it is completely healed, the cut stops hurting?  It can be the same way with our friends.

So how do we start the healing process if we lose a close friend?  There are probably many things to do but I can think of a few that are pretty important.  First of all, admit to your part of whatever went wrong with the friendship.  If you did something wrong, you have to own your part.  Don't make excuses for why you did something, just admit that you did it, ask for forgiveness from God (who will give it to you instantly) and if it's appropriate, ask the other person(s) involved for forgiveness. 

Second, you have to forgive the other person.  This is pretty critical in starting the healing process.  When we hold onto those hurtful feelings and keep that unforgiveness all to ourselves, it can actually feel good.  Using anger at someone to overcome the hurt feelings we have is a pretty normal thing to do.  At first, it works great but just like a cut that gets infected, in the long run it can do us a tremendous amount of damage.  Have you ever seen what happens with a cut that gets infected?  If you let it go long enough, the infection will grow to the point that it can cause the loss of limb or loss of life.  This is the same thing that happens when we choose not to forgive someone.  Notice that the infection gets in us and hurts us, it doesn't hurt anyone else.  It's not contagious and we can't pass it to someone.  It's the same way with unforgiveness.  It only hurts us.  I know this isn't an easy thing to do sometimes because of the bad things people do to us but it has to be done.

Third, while we are on the subject of forgiveness, you have to forgive yourself.  Just like I talked about in the last paragraph, unforgiveness is a killer.  It spreads more quickly and does more damage when we don't forgive ourselves.  Why this is, I am not sure but I have noticed that when I am really getting down on myself it does more damage.  It's almost like opening another cut and letting it get infected.  It hurts about as bad.

Fourth, and this may or not be important, if you are in a hurtful relationship, you may have to leave it.  I will leave that for you do decide.

If you do these things, you are closing a door but you are doing it the right way.  After that door closes, you will find that another one opens.  Regardless of your age, if something like this happens in your life and the person that is leaving is a boyfriend or a girlfriend, this can be extremely painful.  You can have emotional attachments that are strong and they make you want to hang on to the relationship.  That's normal and that feeling is what caused you to become boyfriend/girlfriend with them in the first place.  But what if when that door closed in your life, a better one opened?  That is a difficult thing to see happening for most of us yet it happens all the time.  So, let me encourage you by saying this - If a door closes in your life, you have to process the door and bring "closure" to the situation.  Once you have done that, take a look around.  There may be a much better door right in front of you that you never saw before.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Ask the Minion

Hello Everyone,

I decided to do another round of ask the Minion because I have had fun with the first couple so here goes.  Before I start, I think most of you know this but I want to be clear on one thing.  I am in no way associated with the movie Despicable Me.  I just liked the character so I put it on my page.

BA - Why do I call my blog the Opinion of the Minion - Originally, I was really just joking about writing a blog with some of the guys in the office.  While on a trip to Houston in February, a friend of mine asked me where two people were who should have been with us working.  He asked me where the minions were.  I thought it was funny at the time.  When I decided to start writing my own blog, I knew it was basically going to be my opinion and minion just rhymed so the name stuck.  What I didn't see happening was the number of people who would actually read what I write.  It is still very difficult for me to wrap my mind around all the people who are fans of this blog.  Thank you all.

ANH - Have you ever resolved the problem with the anti-gravity serum? - I'm not associated with the movie.

EW - What's my Opinion on gay people - Wow.  This is a loaded question.  First of all, I love people period.  Gay, straight, black, white, green, purple, or orange.  I know some people who are gay and they are really nice people.  However, I think what you are asking me is do I think being gay is right?  The answer is - What I think isn't important.  What the bible says is.  If I look in the bible, it says that same sex relationships like that are wrong.  Please don't send me any hate letters.  I didn't write the book.  I'm just telling you what it says.  Now before you gay bashers start chiming in on how wrong you think homosexuality is, let me tell you something else.  Jesus told people to work on themselves before they got into other people's business.  He said that people are walking around making a big deal out of someone elses' sin that is little while they have massive sin in their lives.  What does that mean, mind your own business.  It's not my place to judge a gay person.  It's not my place to judge anyone.  When they get to heaven, they can take it up with God.  It won't matter to me at that point because I will have plenty of areas where I am wrong to discuss with God.  He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.

RS - Why can't you give me $10? - RS, many people in my life have asked me for money.  You are the first one to do it on the Minion and that's funny.

MMDM - Do you think aliens are real?  If so, why? - I think there is life that is not on earth.  After all, God is a real person and he is in Heaven.  We know that Heaven isn't on earth.  It is a real place and it is somewhere so there must be life outside earth.  I don't know if God put other life forms on other planets though.

SB - Why did you pick that as your profile picture? - When I was setting up my FB page, I needed something to go up as a profile picture and I wanted a picture of a minion because of the name.  I really didn't know what to expect but I knew I didn't want anything that looked scary or bad.  When I googled pictures of a minion, the one I used came up and I liked it.

ZKR - What language do you speak? - I don't know much about the movie characters but I speak English.  I can speak very very little German and even less French.

TM - If you choked a minion for an experiment, what color would it turn? - That's cute.  No clue.

JC Part 1 - Explain to me what the real definition of success is in today's society? - JC is a good personal friend of mine so let me start by asking JC something.  Would you consider me a success?  Why?  The definition of success in society is how much wealth you have and what you have been able to achieve like college degrees, etc.  Unfortunately, that measuring system has nothing to do with success.  Success in life is really measured by the number of lives you touch and how you touch them.  Are you a good dad, friend, husband, wife, mom, etc.?  Do you help people when they are in need if you can?  Do you have good relationships?  Are you trying to make a positive difference in the people's lives around you?  If so, then I would call you a success.  Success is measured in the quality of your relationships not the value of your bank account.

JC Part 2 - What will break the cast system we currently need to overcome today for everyone to be able to thrive and prosper together peacefully? - OK you will definitely not like my answer on this one.  The answer is the second coming of Christ.  The bible says that in this life you will have trouble and that there will be wars and rumors of wars.  So the live together peacefully part won't happen until then.  As far as breaking the caste system, I think people have to wake up and want out of it.  If you look at many people today, you will see apathy.  They simply don't care about what is going on around them enough to make any kind of change.  Let's take politics for example.  If enough people don't like someone, they can get together and have him or her voted out of office.  Does that happen normally?  No because it takes a lot of a four letter word - work.  When I was at my heaviest, I was always telling your brother that I was going to lose weight.  Finally one day he told me that I was a liar.  He said that when I got tired of being fat, I wouldn't be fat anymore.  I think it applies to breaking out of the caste system as well.  People have to get tired of it but most don't.  They are more interested in watching TV than changing things.

IR - What's a question?  -That's funny.

IR - What would you do in case of a Zombie Apocalypse? - No clue. Again, that's funny.

WH - How can you recover from a broken friendship? - This is probably a good question for a completely separate blog.  In short, it takes time to heal from a broken friendship.  They are the hardest because typically it's someone you trust.  To start with, find someplace safe.  Because you are a guy, I will give you a piece of advice that applies to everyone but we guys don't do this much.  Let it hurt.  It's going to and when you feel pain, it's your body and spirit telling you something is wrong.  I tried to shut all painful emotions out of my life for a long time and it made me very callous which is a bad place to be.  Next, own up to anything you did in that relationship that was wrong.  Here's another thing I see a lot today, people are afraid to be wrong.  It's OK to be wrong.  Guess what, there was only one man ever to walk this planet who never made a mistake.  You and I are going to make them.  After that, ask God to forgive you of anything you have done wrong.  These next two can be hard.  First - forgive the other person.  You shouldn't be around them if they are going to continue to hurt you but forgiving them will help you heal.  Second - forgive yourself.  After that, it takes time.

JC - lotto numbers - If I knew, I would have already bought my own ticket.  :-)

SS - What is the name of the minion in your picture? - I don't know.

TK - Do you like pie? - Yup.  My favorite is my grandmother's homemade pecan pie fresh out of the oven with a scoop of ice cream on top.

MS - Why can't minions talk? - I don't know.

BP - Why are they yellow and not, like, purple? - Again I don't know.

EM - Do you think the world will end in 2012? - Probably not but I don't know.  Here's why I say that.  The world will radically change when Jesus comes back the second time but from what I have read in the bible, I will be around for a few years after that.  The bible also says we don't know the day or the hour when Jesus will return.  So if everyone says 2012 then I doubt it will be then.

MS - How can the force of gravity come together from mostly the sun and make the world end in 2012? - No idea.

BA - When are you going to answer all these questions? - Today.  Sorry it took so long.

BM - What's a minion bible story? - It's a story from the bible that I try to tell in my own words.  Several weeks ago a couple of people asked me if I would write them so I thought I would give them a try.

SS - Can you rap anything? - Nope

DP - Are you a glow stick? - Nope

JB - What's your girlfriend's name? - I don't have one yet.

JB - Have you cheated on her and what's your dad's name and your momma's name? - I don't have one and so I can't cheat on her but I wouldn't anyway.  If she isn't the girl that I can't stand to be without then I won't stay with her anyway.  I want the girl that looks fine dressed up but is more beautiful to me in blue jeans and a tee shirt with her hair in a pony tail.  I want the girl that I cannot stand to leave.  Someone that I just need five more minutes looking at her and talking to her.  I want her to be physically attractive certainly but that's not enough.  She has to be attractive as a whole person.  If I find that, there will never be any need to cheat on her.  My parents names are John and Donna.

GD - Republican or Democrat? - Hard to say.  Neither party has a clue about fiscal responsibility, neither party seems really accountable to the American public and I am not convinced that either of them has the best interest of the country at heart.  That said, from what I know in extremely broad terms, the Democratic party tends to want bigger government and that is just a mistake so I typically vote Republican.

JWG - How is cooler:  Pon or Zi? - I don't know.

SDJ - Why are minions yellow? - I don't know.

AR - Why can the minions only say ehhh and ahhhh? - I don't know.

SG - Does this page have a contest? - Sort of.  I like to give out "The Box" awards.  What are they?  I will try to write a post but I like to give out an award to someone who does things for others.  If you know of someone, let me know and we can talk about getting them an award.

AA - How small are the minions in inches? - I don't know.

JH - Who does the voices of the minions in the movie Despicable Me and why do they talk in an alien sort of language? - I don't know

And those are answers from The Minion

Christmas Blues

Today I want to try to address what I like to call the Christmas blues.  Do you ever find yourself getting down at Christmas time?  If you are a child, it might not be as big a problem as if you are an adult but I even heard my friend KS say something about it in her blog.

For the last couple of days this has been my struggle.  I know the holiday season is here and I really look forward to Christmas until it gets here.  Does that makes sense.  In some ways it doesn't to me.

See right now I should be happy.  I have direction in all the major areas of my life, work is going fine, I feel like I am growing as a father and as a friend.  I have opportunities every day to help other people and I am entering the holiday season but I find myself more and more these last few days struggling to really get excited about Christmas.  Now I want to continue to help people, I want to be around people, and I look forward to giving them gifts.  I recently discovered that I am really a people person. But I find myself looking forward to January 2nd more than almost any other day of the year.  Why?  Because the holidays will be over.  Don't get me wrong, I don't get ba humbug but I just don't get as excited about the rest for some reason.

Part of the reason I think the holiday season can be difficult is because of what seems to be important these days.  Everything seems to be about the commercial aspects of the season.  At Thanksgiving it was a big meal.  Now we turn to Christmas and it's all about getting and giving gifts.  The whole thing has gotten a little twisted.  Giving of gifts was the first thing that happened on the first Christmas.  God gave Jesus, his son, to the world so that the world could be eventually be brought back in to right relationship with him.  We all know that Jesus eventually gave himself for our sins on the cross but did you know that on the first Christmas he gave up being in Heaven where everything is perfect.  We know he gave it up for us but he gave it up for someone else.  He gave a Christmas gift of his life to his Father so that He could have right relationship with His creation.  I bet you never looked at it that way right.

So what's the common thread in the giving?  Neither God nor Jesus gave a financial gift to the world, the both gave something infinitely more special.  They gave Jesus to the world.  With God is was always about relationships.  That was what was on his mind the first Christmas.

Now don't misunderstand me, I think giving gifts is a very good thing to do but I think there is much more to the season than just stuff.  If you don't get what you want, it's OK because if you got anything, you should be thankful that someone was there to give it to you.  Again, it's about relationships.  If you are a parent that doesn't have enough money to give your child everything you want to, don't worry about it.  There is someone in your life for you to give to and that's really important.  If you don't have enough money to give everything you would like to people, remember this - even though you don't have a lot of money, you do have something to give.  Let me tell you about a few very special gifts that I know of.

A few years ago, a friend of mine told me about getting things for her family at Christmas.  She is a really nice lady but was working a job that didn't pay very much money so she didn't have a lot to spend.  I think she gave her parents a framed picture of her but she made some part of it.  I guarantee that her parents will cherish that gift so much more than a new car.  See, she put herself into the gift.  She gave part of something special.  She gave her a small part of her life to her parents.  If you are the person who I am talking about and you are reading this, I bet you never thought of it that way.  :-)

Another person I know gave her daughter a gift for her birthday.  She was the first person to receive the Box award.  Here is what the person who received the gift had to say:

     “My mother cant afford a lot and I don't ask anything of her. This year for my birthday I said no presents.. just let me cook you dinner. Mom surprised me with the newspaper clippings and cards that came from my actual birthday. This was the most rewarding birthday gift ever. It made me feel like she was truly proud of me. “

I will tell you of another gift that shocked me.  I few months ago, I wrote an Opinion of the Minion about my grandfather.  Now I didn't really think this was one of my best blogs but I put it out there to pay honor to TS Rawle.  What shocked me was the response I got.  I wrote that particular blog because it was what I felt.  Comments on Facebook and e-mails came in from all over the family and everyone was touched.  I couldn't physically give them all a hug but I was able to give them something.

Do you ever find yourself coming down with the Christmas blues?  Well you are not alone, most people have to battle it at some point in their lives.  But know this, as you focus on the true meaning of Christmas and what the real gifts are supposed to be, you will see things differently.  You definitely have something to give and people will really appreciate a gift that comes from the heart much more than one from the wallet.
Well, I have done it again.  I have blogged myself happy.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Believe in Yourself

Today I want to encourage you to give yourself a tremendous gift this Christmas season.  Believe in yourself.  That may seem pretty hard to do.  I know it is for me sometimes.  Now when it comes to what other people think, I guess I look pretty "successful" but there are times when I have trouble believing in myself.

There are going to be times in your life when this is a very difficult thing to do.  Especially during the holiday season, it can be easy to get depressed and down if you let yourself.  My friend, Kari already posted something in her blog about this and I will try to deal with it later myself.

The reality is that you have to believe in yourself if you want to be truly successful and happy in life.  It is very easy for me to believe in other people and their abilities.  Do you think you can write a book?  I believe you can.  Do you think you can go to school and get a degree?  I believe you can.  Do you think you can overcome being overweight or some other addiction?  I believe you can.  Do I believe I can do any of those things?  Yes on the last two and I am working on the first one.  Now especially when it comes to writing, I didn't really believe that I was a writer until recently.  I must say I enjoy the experience.

Did you know that you can have self confidence in one area and lack it in another?  I know I do.  My daughter gave me a great glimpse this weekend of what self confidence looks like.  We were sitting at breakfast eating donuts when a mom walked through the door carrying a baby.  Many times when we see a little child, I tell the kids that they were once that small and we all laugh.  The mother had her back to us and the baby was big enough that he was holding his head up and it was above mom's shoulder.  Before I could say anything to my daughter, she said, "I was that big once."  She beat me to the punch and I smiled.  Then she leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "But I was cuter."  She obviously has no problem believing that she is a cute kid.  She certainly gets plenty of confirmation from everyone about this fact and that's good.

For me, I used to be fat but now I am not.  I must admit that I struggle in this area a little.  I don't have a bad self image but if a woman shows interest in me (for all my friends, yes it does happen occasionally), I have a hard time believing it.  That's not to say that it is an every day occurrence by any stretch of the imagination but it's nice when it happens.

I struggle to understand why it is so easy for me to have confidence in some areas and lack confidence in others.  I think it's because I am human (as much as I hate to admit it sometimes).  However, you have to believe in you before anyone else will.  Before anyone ever told me they appreciated the Minion, thought, I had to believe that I could write and do it.  Before anyone told me that I could lose weight, I had to believe that I could and change my lifestyle.  Before anyone ever believed I could go through law school, I had to prove to myself that I could.  Do you see the common thread?  Also consider this, if I had never took action on my belief, I would never have gotten anywhere in any of these areas.

See, faith in yourself or in God without works is dead faith.  You cannot truly believe in yourself without taking action in a specific area.  If I really do think I am a good guy, I should ask a girl out.  If I don't believe in myself enough to ask, how can I expect her to say she will?  And if I never ask, we know for certain that she never will.  Also, let me leave you with one more thought on the subject.  Let's take dating because the illustration seems clear to me right now.  If you want to go out with a girl and you never ask her out, you will never go out with her.  However if you ask her, she might turn you down but she might actually go.  Don't be afraid to fail forward.

So what am I trying to tell you?  You must believe in yourself and you must do so before anyone else will.  We will truly know if you believe in yourself by your actions.  Until your believe motivates you to act, it isn't really faith, it's still just hope.  So what are your dreams today?  Believe in yourself and give yourself a chance for success by taking a chance.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

My Oldest Son

In keeping with my theme for this month, I want to send another letter.  This one is to my oldest son.  I am so thankful for him.

Dear David,

As I write this, you are going through a hard transition in life.  Some of this is just part of life and some of it is because of your mom and I.  You are adjusting to 6th grade, changes in your attitude toward girls and unfortunately mom and I's divorce.  It is a lot for one kid to handle and I think you are doing such a good job.

As I look back on my how I have done as your father so far, I am a little sad because I know that I could have done much better.  I was just recently that I realized how little I knew about being a Godly father.  It is my whole heart's desire to teach you to be one in the few years we have left before you step out on your own.  I want to prepare you to be a Godly man.  If I can do that, I have succeeded beyond my wildest imagination for you.  The strange thing is I think in spite of all we have done, you are already becoming a very Godly young man.

I am so very proud of you.  Whether you know it or not, you started school when you were three years old because you had speech issues.  This was due to a hearing problem you had as a little tyke.  Now when I was in school kids in those classes were sort of looked down at and made fun of.  When I was in school, those kids barely made it through.  But not you.  You went from needing help with speech to all honors classes.  You are a really brilliant young man.  I also see things in you that I never could be at your age.  I look at you and see courage.

How?  Well, it took courage to ask that girl to the homecoming dance.  I would never, ever have done it because I would have been too afraid.  When we talked afterwards, you told me that your heart was pounding in your chest pretty hard and that even though when you asked her the dance had already passed, she was nice to you with her reply.  Son, I want you to remember that feeling and what you did.  There will be many more opportunities in life for you to feel that way and make a decision.  You are going to be in places where you risk rejection in your life.  It just happens.  But you possess that special quality called courage.  Don't ever change that.  Take risks because if you don't, you won't have rewards.  I know you didn't see it that way then but that's what you did and I am extremely proud of you.

Son, you are growing up so fast and it seems like it will only accelerate from here.  As you get older, I want you to understand something.  I heard a story about the head of the Salvation Army.  You know those guys who stand ringing the bell at Christmas time asking for donations.  Well they take those and use them to help people who need it.  One year, the head of the Salvation Army was going to send a telegram to all his offices around the world.  He wrote it out and then went to send it.  When he got to the telegraph office, he realized that it was too long and he had to cut it down.  So he trimmed it down to one sentence. Again, it was too expensive to send.  He finally trimmed it down to a single word - others.  Son, that's what our life is all about.  We are to help others.  You have to let the Lord show you who and how but always remember that's what life is about.  As you get older, you will see people who define success by how much education and money you have.  I thought the same way for a long time.  Don't get me wrong, money and education are important but not as important as people.  Think of others and ask the Lord to show you who you can help today.

Lastly, I want to talk to you about what you are going through in school today.  I know some of the kids make fun of you.  That really hurts your feelings and quite frankly, it just plain sucks.  When I was in school, kids did the same thing to me.  Grandma and Grandpa did they very best they could but I didn't wear brand name clothes like the rest of the kids and some people made fun of me a lot.  I also got made fun of because I had big ears and I had a lot of pimples.  It really hurt my feelings.  Son, as you go through these times, know that you were not alone.  Guess who else was made fun of and people talked bad about? - Jesus.  I guess that puts us in pretty good company huh.  You may not see it now but this will pass.  Just keep doing the right thing because it's the right thing.

I cannot begin to express how impressed I am with you.  You are smart, handsome, loyal, you love God, you aren't afraid to share your faith, you know how to build stuff, you always try to help your brother and sister, and you are a really respectful young man.  No matter what you do, know that I will always love you.

Love,

Dad

That's another letter from the Minion

Impact

Today I want to talk to you about something important - impact.  Impact what you ask?  Not what but who.  Who's life do you impact?  Some people you know, some you would know if you thought about it and some you may never know this side of heaven but you do impact people's lives.  The question is how do you impact them?

We have all had situations where we did something we regret and it might have impacted someone in a very negative way.  While that is certainly unfortunate and we should all strive to avoid hurting people, I want to discuss how we impact people in a good way.

The first group of people we impact are people we impact their lives and we know it.  I recently found out that a friend of mine was having a really bad day.  I was able to do something for her that really cheered her up.  It was really cool because I knew she was hurting and I got to help brighten her day.  I also got to brighten two of her friends day at the same time.  It was a really fun thing to do.  So let me ask you, when was the last time you did something nice for someone?  When did you do something for someone just because you wanted to do a nice thing without hope of any type of payment?  Can you think of exactly what you did and when?  If it was longer than a week ago, you are long over due to help someone.  I apologize right now if this sounds like bragging.  If you know my heart, you know I don't ever want to brag on myself.  However, it is fun to be the person God uses to bless someone.  I had one day last week where I was able to bless several people on the same day.  It was really neat.  I even had the opportunity to do something nice for someone today.  That came with a huge payoff though.  The smile on that person's face made the whole thing worth while.

The next group of people are ones that you can impact in a positive way if you will just look around and pay attention.  I struggle with this group sometimes because I don't pay as much attention to others as I should.  Now everything you do for someone doesn't have to be a big thing.  Maybe its something small like seeing someone walking out of Starbucks with their hands full and opening the door for them.  I did that today.  Was it a big deal?  No.  Was it something nice for someone I didn't know?  Sure.

See, we all know what our friends and family need.  In many cases, because we are so close to that group, that we are intimately aware of what they need.  When we get a chance to help, we should.  But what about other people around us?  What about the guy in the wheel chair struggling up a hill.  I recently watched a guy go up a hill near my apartment.  I should have helped him but I didn't.  Look around you, there are people everywhere that need help, we just have to open our eyes and watch.

There is another group that we should pay close attention.  Unfortunately, we will never know who this group is.  Well, how can we pay attention to them if we don't know who they are?  We can pay attention to how we treat people in general and the example we set.  Whether you know it or not, people are watching you every day to see what kind of person you are.  Do you help people or do you hurt people.  Let me ask a question.  If you were the only Jesus someone ever saw, what would they think of Him?  That's a pretty sobering question and if you take it the wrong way, you can wind up in condemnation.  I don't want you to go there.  What if someone looked at the way you acted and said, "That person is just a great person.  If that is what Jesus is all about, count me in?"  That would be pretty cool huh.

Well, sometimes we can say a word of encouragement to someone and we will never know that they were encouraged.  Not too long ago, I was talking to a close friend of mine who happens to be my banker.  We were talking and he was telling me about a mutual friend of ours who now lives in Houston and is doing quite well.  Apparently several years ago, I was sharing with our friend about tithing and how it changed my life.  I learned that the true way to increase was to give.  That doesn't make sense right?  But it works.  Anyway I don't even remember talking about this with our friend but apparently he was inspired by what I told him and started tithing himself.  Now he is very successful and he told my banker friend that he remembered our conversation from several years ago even to this day. If I remember right, that pushed him over the top in the right direction.

So let me leave you with this.  You impact people around you all the time everyday.  It's up to you what you do with that opportunity.  You have the ability to do something nice for someone that will bless them and encourage them.

In this life, making a million dollars isn't important, making a difference is.

That's the Opinion of the Minion

Don't Quit Minion

Through this journey called The Opinion of the Minion, I have had the privilege of putting my opinions out there for people to read.  I continue to be baffled by the support you, the reader, have shown.  Again, I can't say thank you enough.  Today, my opinion is only two words but they are extremely powerful.

Don't Quit!

Don't quit what you ask.  Well I can't answer that question.  Only you know what you are going through.  But I know this.  Tough times don't last, tough people do.  Whatever you are facing in life, you can make it through.  Even if no one believes in you and even though I don't know most of you personally, I do believe in you.  How can you believe in someone you don't really know?  Well that's an interesting question.  I believed in God and His son Jesus before I knew them and my life has never been the same.  Also, sometimes it's easier for me to believe in someone I can't see than it is to believe in someone I know.  So from the bottom of my heart, that I do believe in you.

I want to tell you two stories.  The first is about my friend Al.  Al and I have known each other since middle school (for almost 30 years).  Now Al is one of those guys.  You know the type.  He's the guy that everyone likes.  He would literally give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.  I know because once I asked for a car (we called it the Tank) and he practically gave it to me.  He was a much better friend to me than I was to him growing up.

Now if you are in the mood to run someone into the ground verbally or when you get that real urge to gossip about someone, we all know the people who will pitch in and run others into the ground with us.  Al is NOT one of those people.  I think he would find something nice to say about the devil.  It's just the way he is.  So it shook me to the core several months ago when I found out that he had throat cancer.  We were only 39 at the time he found out and we are both only 40 now.  So Al went through the treatments and we hoped it was over.  But unfortunately, it wasn't.  We recently found out that there was more cancer to deal with and this stuff is really serious.  I won't share the details to protect his privacy but I will tell you that he has a beautiful wife and two great kids.

So last Saturday, I called Al.  After all, I write the Minion and the Lord uses to cheer other people up sometimes.  He uses me to help people feel better and if there was anyone I wanted to feel better, it was Al. When I finally got him on the phone, I was totally shocked at what happened.  I called to tell him to hang in there and try to encourage him but I never got the chance.  He was encouraging me and blessing me.  That's not the way it was supposed to go but Al's attitude floored me.  He said he had too much to live for and that he was planning on seeing his grand kids, etc.  I wanted to tell him, don't quit.  But that thought never entered his mind.  He started telling me stories about the other people he had helped.  Can you believe that!  Here this man is facing a very serious cancer situation and he is more concerned about helping others than what was going on with him.  It was a truly humbling experience.  I hope my heart is as big as Al's one day.

I posted on FaceBook about this a couple of days ago and the response astounded me.  Many of you are praying for Al.  I saw people from literally all over the world who were and I have no way to express my gratitude to you all.

So if you are in a hard place, don't quit.  God can see you through.

But maybe you aren't having it real tough right now.  So you look at this post and say, it really doesn't apply to you.  Not so fast.  Look around you.  There are people who need your encouragement.  If you are emotionally full, find someone to encourage.  Don't be discouraged if they don't receive it immediately.  Just keep at it.

I have a very special friend who is writing a book.  Now I have went so far as to day dream about the time when I will go to this person's book signing.  I can see this person's book published and this person receiving royalties for the book (no it's not my book).  I went as far as telling this person about what I say for them.  Now at first, I don't think this person could see what I saw and I got push back about thinking too big.  But then something amazing started happening.  This person is starting to believe that this will happen.  It's baby steps but it's going forward.  Watching confidence grow in this person is so rewarding.

So take a look around you.  Who needs your help?  Find some way to encourage them.  One day, you will be on the other side of this and need some encouragement yourself.  If you are on the other side, DON'T QUIT.  You can make it through the struggle.  God believes in you and I believe in you.  If you will decide to believe in you that makes three of us!  You can accomplish what you set out to do.

I have said it before and it's true again.  I have blogged myself happy.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

A Minion's Good Judgment

Today I want to deal with the subject of judgment.  Don't you just love to be around people who are always judging you or someone else?  Those are my favorite types of people.  Well not really.  I very much dislike being around them.  But let's talk about judgment for a minute.  If you have ever been to church, you have heard the quote from the bible, "Judge not lest ye be judged."  We have taken that to mean that when I am around someone who hurts me or does bad things to me, that I can't judge them right.  I think this is very true.  I cannot judge a person period.

But what I can do is judge their actions.  It's OK to judge a person's actions.  But what I think we really like to do is use judging a persons actions as a spring board to get to what is really fun - judging people.  See I caught myself doing that here recently and honestly I didn't really even know I was doing it.  But before I get to that, let me talk about some things its OK to judge.

Sometimes we are around people who use this don't judge people thing as a way to manipulate us and hurt us.  All the while, they are saying that you can't judge them.  What they are really saying is they want you to continue to allow them to treat you badly.  That's not OK.  If you are around someone who is constantly hurting you, their actions are wrong and that is what I am judging.  I am not saying they are a bad person.  However, don't let people manipulate you into doing what they want if it is wrong.

While I am at it, let me step on a few more toes.  If someone comes up to you and tells you in a loving and kind way that they think you are behaving wrongly, consider what they say.  I know some people who are very difficult to correct because they cannot take someone telling them they are wrong.  I personally like to know when I am wrong (this is not an open invitation for you to correct me).  Let me say that I only trust a few people to tell me I am behaving wrongly.  Most of the time, I listen to my heart and the Lord will correct me where I need correction.  Be thankful when someone does that for you, if you know they really love and care about you.  For me personally, I don't want to go around being wrong.  Have you ever had that dream where you are walking around in your underwear or worse and everyone is laughing at you?  Well that's a little drastic but I think when we walk around constantly behaving wrong in an area, that is exactly what we are doing.

So let me tell you about the wrong kind of judgment.  I know this guy who was extremely judgmental to certain people in his life.  As a matter of fact, he really didn't like having them around.  Why, because some of them did do things that hurt his feelings.  Some of them did nothing to hurt his feelings.  He was just judgmental.  Now I don't know if he was ever judgmental outright to these people's faces but he certainly was in his heart.  He didn't really do it on purpose but he couldn't separate judging a person and judging their actions.  See some of their actions needed to be understood.  In some ways they used him but didn't know it.  So what did he do in return.  He got mad and judged them personally.  He considered himself a pretty humble guy.  He didn't go around openly telling everyone that he thought he was smart or successful.  He didn't go around showing off how much money he made or what he had (although many people thought this was the case).  As a matter of fact, he quit showing people the cool stuff he got and he quit telling people about the cool things that happened to him because some people got jealous.

Regardless of what they did to him, he began to judge himself as better than them.  Now here is where it gets a little strange.  He didn't judge himself smarter, or more successful, or more educated than the people around him.  That would have been too obvious.  He judged worse than that.  He began to see himself as nicer than them.  He would look at his wife and see all the times that she did things that were not nice toward him and only consider the nice things he did for her.  He is to this day a giver and began to feel that people took advantage of that.  So he judged himself to be a nicer and therefore better person than many of the people around him.

OK let me give you three guesses on this guy's identity.  Do you really need three guesses?  Yup, you know it.  This guy is me.  It is a very humbling experience when the Lord shows you that you aren't really all that.  Now I quit judging people before I started writing for the most part but I didn't realize that I was doing it.  It's easy for me to hear people saying nice things about this blog and some of the other stuff I do.  I even have a good friend who told me she thought I was a great guy.  She didn't mean it as one of those blow off things.  This girl really puts me on a pedestal.  She sees things in me that I didn't know were there.  As a matter of fact, there was a certain thing about the Minion that happened that shocked me.  She said that she was surprised it took as long as it did.  So guess what, the Minion isn't all that.  I have already done this in private but I want to go on record in front of you and ask God to forgive me for being judgmental.  That is truly a terrible thing to do and I am ashamed of it.  If I have judged you wrongly instead of just judging your actions, please forgive me.

So let me ask you a question?  Where are you being like I was?  Where are you judging people?  I bet that somewhere you are judging them instead of their actions.  That has to stop.  Do you like to sit around and talk about other people?  That's called gossip and it's very judgmental.  We have to stop that.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

A Midsummer Minion's Dream

Today, I want to talk to you about dreams.  How often do you sit and dream?  I do it all the time.  I day dream about all kinds of situations in my life.  I have visions of what a right relationship would look like and see myself there.  I think dreaming is something important that we have missed in our lives.  I was in church on Sunday and heard this message.  Then I went back to a totally different church and heard the same message about vision and dreams on Sunday night.  Do you think God was trying to tell me something?  In the last couple of weeks I have had two very strong revelations from the bible about dreams.  So here we go.

We all have dreams.  As I have said before, when I was in high school, I dreamed of going to Annapolis and then on to fly F-14s for the US Navy.  Well that one didn't come to pass but that's OK.  Top Gun is still one of my favorite movies of all time.  I love the end because Tom Cruise overcomes tragedy and saves the day.  It's my kind of movie. 

I also dreamed about going to law school one day and becoming Perry Mason.  I was going to argue cases and be the greatest lawyer ever to walk the planet.  Well that partly happened.  I did graduate law school and technically I am a lawyer but I don't practice much.  If you have ever had me as your lawyer, you know I am no Perry Mason.  ;)  But I am happy with me and I am glad I went to school.  When I told people about my dream some of them said I would never make it.  Some said it to my face and some said it behind my back but that's OK.  That dream was working inside me and guess what, I made it.

Now here is a dream that I am going to share with you that I have never made public.  Only a few people know about this one but I want to share it with you now.  For years I dreamed of being the President of the United States.  I could see myself in the Oval Office.  I could see myself making right decisions and governing wisely.  I read scriptures about how when the righteous rule the people rejoice.  Many people say they wouldn't want the job but I wanted to be the go to guy.  I wanted to see if I had what it took.  If you come into my office you will find many books about presidents, the white house and being president.  It was definitely one of my long term goals.  Today, I don't really want to be President anymore.  Why you ask, because it isn't my calling.  I am beginning to wake up to what the Lord has called me to do and I know that isn't it.

So what I have been doing the last couple of days is working on my dreams.  I am writing them down and beginning to think about them.  Many studies show that when we write down our dreams and think about them regularly, this process acts like a magnet drawing us closer and closer to our dreams and goals.  That's pretty cool stuff huh.

See, I think it is important to dream big.  When I dreamed about losing weight, I would see myself skinny.  I would see myself doing all kinds of things.  One thing that really embarrassed me about being big was I couldn't water ski which was big with my family.  But I would see myself being skinny and attractive.  I started confessing everyday that I weighed 205 pounds.  I did this for over a year without dropping a single pound but that dream was resonating inside my spirit every day.  That dream was working inside me and pointing me the right direction.  Then one day, that dream popped in my spirit and the transformation began.  But guess what, I didn't stop at 205.  I went all the way down to 185.  See when we dare to dream and then keep those dreams in front of us, amazing things can happen.

Now let me tie this to a place you may not really understand.  God.  Guess what, he has dreams.  He has dreams about you.  The bible says that He has plans for you.  Plans for your good.  It says in another place that he knew you before the foundation of the world.  Since before the world was founded he was dreaming about you.  That's pretty far out there stuff huh.

Well I want you to get a picture of this.  Think for a minute about that perfect guy or that perfect girl or maybe a car, etc.  Picture him/her/it in your mind.  Think for a second about whatever your goal is.  See yourself in a right relationship (See the Box).  See yourself succeeding.  How does that feel?  Does it touch a nerve in the core of your being?  Does it release a warm feeling inside you?  This might blow your mind but the Lord sits around dreaming of you the same way.  He pictures you in his mind successful.  He pictures you in his mind with the right person.  He sees you enjoying yourself and it brings great pleasure to His soul.  He gets excited about His dreams for your life.  He has a good life planned for you.  He sees you and He spending time together doing things that you love.



And that's another Opinion of the Minion.

A Minion's Hope

Today I want to talk to you about hope.  I belive the single most devistating thing that can happen in your life is to loose hope.  Hope is one of the most important parts of our lives but how often do we hear someone say, "Don't get your hopes up."  That is one the of the dumbest things I have ever heard.  I want you to get your hope sky high.  OK, I can immediately hear people saying, "He has flipped out.  I hoped that this would happen or that would happen and it didn't.  When I hoped for that situation to work out in my life and it didn't, that hurt me deeply and I would have been better of not to have gotten my hopes up at all." 

Let me say, I certainly understand your point.  I have done the same thing.  I got my hopes up that a certain area of my life would change and it didn't.  A few months ago, I got my hopes up about a certain relationship and that didn't work.  I used to get my hopes up all the time that I could go on a diet and loose weight.  I used to get my hopes up that I would be in a great relationship with a woman and that didn't work.  Even recently, I got my hopes up about a situation that didn't work out like I wanted.  So I should have just let it go.  I should have not hoped at all.  Think about it.  Wouldn't it have been better if I hadn't hoped.  If I had just expected failure.  That way I wouldn't have felt the disappointment and in some cases pain of the failure.  I can see what you mean by your question above.  Maybe you were even right.

Well, not so fast.  The critical question about hope is in what or where do I place it?  If I place my hope in you that you will do something or you place your hope in me that I will do something, at some point we will both be disappointed.  Why?  Because we aren't perfect.  Also, sometimes we put our hope in a person who isn't capable of doing what we want anyway.  Think of it this way, if you put your hope in me that I will be able to dunk a basketball.  I can 100% gaurantee you that you will be disappointed.  I am 5'7" tall and my verticle jump won't get me there.  That's not really important in the grand scheme of life but what if you put your hope in a friend or relationship to make you happy?

What if you looked to a girl or guy as the thing that was going to make you happy in life?  That other person is going to make a mistake somewhere and disappoint you.  It will probably hurt when they do.  See, they weren't made perfect so they are not capable of being perfect.  Everyone is going to make mistakes and when the mistake involves you, it is going to hurt.  "OK," you say, "if you want me to have hope and hope is so critical to my life, who or what do I put my hope in?"

Some of you who read this are ahead of me and know exactly where I am going.  That makes me smile.  I will tell you where I put my hope.  I put my hope in God.  He isn't just a train ticket to Heaven.  He is what keeps me going here.  I know that he cannot fail.  If I put my trust in him, there is no area we cannot conquer.  I desire with all my heart to have a godly mate.  I want a woman I can cherish, protect, care for, and grow with.  I want one that I can talk to.  You know my personal feelings from reading the Box.  So when I get around someone who I think is a good candidate, do I put my hope in her that she will be what I am seeking?  Nope, I put my trust in God.  He said He would provide all my needs so I put my hope in Him that He will provide what I need.  I don't hope in the woman, I hope in God.  When I do this, there is such great peace because no matter what comes up, my hope is in God.  If I have a good night or bad, it doesn't matter because my hope stays where it belongs.  Guess what, as I have done this, I have seen deliverance and help from God in every area where I put this to work. 

Recently on Facebook there was a person who stated that they were Wiccan (sp?).  My response was, Why?  I certainly respect their right to be Wiccan.  That wasn't really what I was asking.  Then someone else posted that this person was Wiccan because they chose their religion just like I did.  Well I appreciate their response as I do believe they were honestly trying to help me out but what I wanted to know is why did you chose to be Wiccan?  I can tell you why I choose to be a Christian.  It's because God still helps me everyday.  It's because when I call on Him, He answers.  It's because when things seem like they are coming apart, I can go to Him and He makes me to be at peace even though it looks like I am in deep trouble.  When I place my hope in Him, it centers and grounds me.  All of the sudden, my world turns right side up and things look good again.

And that's another Opinion of the Minion

A Message from the Lord of the Minion

Dear Friends,

This will be a different type of post for me but I know it is right.  If you are a minister, I ask that you read this with care and make sure I am hearing correctly.  I believe today, I have a letter from the Lord that is in my spirit that must be let out onto this blog.  Below please find that letter from the Lord.

My Dearest Child,

Long before you were born, I created this world and I gave it to my son Adam.  It was completely his and I intended for us to grow it together.  But Adam made a bad mistake.  He gave the authority over this world to a fallen angel you know as Satan.  Let me say, I have never stopped loving Adam.  I care about him as deeply today as I did back then.  It grieved me that he gave our authority to Satan but I still love him.

I deeply loved Satan before he fell from Heaven.  Both Satan and Adam are my creations and I had to let both make decisions that would hurt Me even though I loved them with all that I am.  Jesus was there with me when these things happened and I see love so deeply in him.  I love him.  It grieved us both to see our creation hurt and see where we knew things were headed.  But We don't quit.  Our love for you would never allow us to.  That separation that Adam caused between Us and Our creation was something we desperately wanted to close.  Our hearts yearned for Our creation even more than before the fall because of the separation that took place.  We couldn't be one with Our creation like we were before that day in the garden.

I had a plan all along to bridge the gap.  The problem with the sacrifices that took place before this was that Satan still had authority in the earth.  That was what happened when Adam ate of the tree I told him not to.  He gave authority I intended for us to share to Satan.  I needed something to take the authority back so that I could be close to you and live with you.  Before the cross, I could be around you and I could be close but I could not live inside you.  It's like Tommy said about the box.  I could admire and put things in you but I want to live in your box.  I want to get as close as possible to the inner part of your box.  I want to get so close that what's inside your box and I become one.  If someone looks inside your box, I do not want them to be able to distinguish between what is you and what is Me.

I want to give you everything I have.  I am constantly looking for ways to bless you.  Sometimes you reject my offers but I never stop offering.  You are still my most prized possession.  If you look in awe at the majesty of the mountains or the depths of the oceans or the stars of the heaven, they are nothing compared to the way I look at you.  You are all that I long for.

Before I could become one with you again, I needed to get the authority back to do so.  If I had tried to change things without doing this, it would have destroyed the world and I would have lost you forever.  The three of us (Jesus, the Holy Spirit and I) could not bear the thought of loosing you.  You are too precious to Me.  You are all that I want.  The only way to put that bridge in place so that I could live with you and love you the way that I really wanted was for there to be a perfect sacrifice for the sins of the world.  They included the ones that I knew you would commit after the cross and all the ones before.  For this to happen, We knew that We would have to send Jesus to as final payment for all the sin of our creation.  He decided He would go through great pain because of His love for you.

When We sent him to the earth, immediately some of his creation sought out to kill Him.  Imagine what it would be like for your son or daughter to be so misguided that they tried to take your life.  That's what was happening then.  Our creation didn't know Us.  I protected him because We all knew what He had to do.  I sent him into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.  I had to make sure he faced every opportunity to sin that the rest of Our creation has faced.  And he did.  But he held fast to me and blocked every temptation.  After that, he got to do what he loves more than anything.  Even though they didn't know they were his creation, We blessed Our creation through him.  We got to give out little glimpses of our love.  And we enjoyed it.  We got to heal the sick, proclaim liberty to the captives, provide food for people that needed, we got to give dead people back to their loved ones.  We got to give money to people that needed it.  We got to spend three years walking the earth in human form and blessing it.  It was such a joyous time for us.  Jesus loved his time on the earth with his creation.  We waited until the time was right and then set about redeeming Our creation and putting the bridge in place that would allow Us to come live in your box and be one with you.



Many will say that I am an angry God looking for ways to hurt my creation but I am not.  I love my creation too deeply to do anything that would harm it.  It is all I love.  Many of my sons and daughters are anxiously awaiting my son Jesus' second coming.  That will be a sad day for me because many of those that I love more than anything will have made a choice not to live with me and be with me.  I love them enough to let them decide but it hurts Me when they don't want Me.  I want you to know that I love you today.  I have always loved you and I always will love you.  I am God but I want to be your Father.  I want to spend time with you.  I want us to enjoy your life together.  I want you to be successful and fulfilled all the days of your life.  I want nothing but the best for you.  Bad things happen in this life to people but I don't do bad things to my loved ones.  Little children, you are all I care about and desire.  I have gold and beauty you haven't seen yet but I seek after you.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with great fear and trembling that I submit this letter from the Lord.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth on him should not perish but have eternal life.

Tommy Oswald (The Minion that God so passionately, deeply and committedly loves)