Old Friends

Today I want to discuss a subject that I have come to appreciate more in the last week.  I want to talk about friendship.  Before I get to my Opinion for this blog, I need to back up a little.

Not that long ago, a good friend of mine, A, went home to be with the Lord after a long fight with cancer.  Now A and I stayed in touch over the years but we didn't stay as close as we were growing up.  I met A when I was in the 7th grade and we are both 41 (A is very much alive, he just went to a place called Heaven).  I still have fond memories of playing football.  A played center and if I remember correctly, he was a starter on the 1st team (or A team) when we were in middle school.  We are a lot alike.  I can still see him wearing his 3/4 top Nike Monster cleats when we played ball.  Later we called him "Hair" because when we were in high school he had long hair.

I also have very fond memories of us playing hide and go seek when we were in middle school with a whole group of kids from our neighborhood.  When we played, our boundaries were several blocks in every direction and we had a lot of fun.  Now A wasn't the only kid I hung out with.  There was B.  He was the high school baseball stud pitcher when we were in school and interestingly enough, he was also very smart.  For a while B and I were best friends and we were inseparable.

There were other kids in the neighborhood too - B and his little brother A, B and his little brother C and  several others.  For the sake of time I will stop right there except to say that B and I went to see my friend A the other day.  It was a very hard time for both of us.

Now let me fast forward to watching my own kids.  Over the last week, I had the opportunity to watch my kids pretty closely and one thing I noticed was that a couple of them were not very well adjusted to playing with other kids.  Why?  Well, one answer is that they don't have very many kids around them to play with.  That small fact - having kids around to play with - was something I realized was a true blessing in my life and also something that I see missing in my kids lives.  I learned a lot last week.  I can't say it was an easy week but it was certainly rewarding.

So let me leave you with the two things I learned from this past week.  First of all, kids need to be around other kids.  So parents please find ways to help your kids socialize.  Second of all, grew to really appreciate all the great kids I grew up with.  A, you will be missed.  I love you and even though we didn't stay as close as either of us would like, I miss you.  Let me leave you with this - Appreciate your friends.  They are truly a gift from God.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Be You

Today I want to deal with another subject that grew out of a very sensitive conversation that I had with someone recently.  As in my last post, I will not go into the situation because it was a very sensitive one and it could cause the person who talked to me harm even though I don't think anyone involved reads this blog.  I am not sure why people want to talk to me but it seems that they do.  (If I am fortunate, it is because people see the love of God come through me to them).

Let me use an example from my own life to illustrate my point.  When I was married, I changed a lot.

Some of it was for the better - I was a financial train wreck waiting for a place to come off the tracks for many years of my life.  As a matter of fact, some people who knew me back then thought I was crazy for going to law school because I was so irresponsible that they didn't think I could make it through.  Eventually I changed over time and grew out of that which is a very good thing.

I also became a father.  That was definitely a change for the better.  When the movie, Courageous came out I watched it and my heart broke.  I realized then that I did not know how to be a great father and I really wanted to be one.  Now I don't think I am a bad dad but I definitely know I can improve.  But being a dad for the first time definitely changed me in a good way.

But I also changed in some not good ways.  I quit being myself because part of me seemed to always make my ex-wife mad.  The Bible says that people who make peace with other people will be blessed so I always tried (most of the time unsuccessfully) to make peace with her.  But in doing so, I lost touch with part of who I was.  I was never really comfortable around her.  I don't think that she was responsible for this.  As a matter of fact, there are parts of me that I should have refused to change because they were really who I am. 

As an aside, don't use this as an excuse to be mean or act inappropriately to anyone.  I can hear some guy saying, "Well I just like a lot of girls.  That's part of who I am so it's OK for me to date other girls while I am married to someone."  NO I am not saying that.  Quit being a jerk.

But what I am telling you is that you need to be true to who you really are.  If you like football, that's OK as long as it doesn't rule your life.  If you like romantic movies, that's OK as long as it doesn't rule your life.  See it is important to stay true to yourself.  Don't let people change you to the point that you don't even recognize you anymore.  That's a mistake.  Now I have decided to just be me.  That doesn't mean that everyone has to like me.  Some people probably don't but that's OK. 

So I want to leave you with this.  Stay true to who you are.  Be you.  Do the right thing even when it's not popular but be you.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Go To the Source

Hello Everyone,

I haven't posted in a long time and I apologize for that.  I made a comment several months ago about being bored and I have been busy since.

Over the last 18 hours I have been involved in a situation that prompted this post.  As the situation that I have watched would be extremely embarrassing to the people involved, I will not mention anything about this particular one.  I will say this though - I have no condemnation for anyone involved.  If you are reading this and you are involved, you know who you are.

So let me start with one simple question.  What do you do if you hear something bad about someone?  We all know people who like to gossip.  There are also people who tell you things just because they think you should know for some potential benefit to you - Read that just another excuse to gossip.  Well, here are my thoughts on what to do and not do.

1.  Don't go telling other people about a situation unless they need to be involved.  You don't need to tell your best friend (boys or girls) about something that you heard bad about someone else.  All you are doing is spreading the situation to more people and probably hurting some one's reputation in the process.  Did you know that the bible says that we are to love our neighbor like we love ourselves?  How do we do that?  Well one way we do that is by not running around telling people about all the bad things we have heard about other people.  See the bible also says love covers a lot of sins.  Now I am not telling you to keep your mouth shut if you know someone is in danger or has been abused.  In that case, go to someone who is in authority (your parents, a teacher you know or even the police if it is really serious) and tell them.  But your best girl friend or best buddy really doesn't need to know.

2.  Don't assume that just because you heard some rumor that it is true.  I believe it was in the 1950s when some guy on a radio in New York City started a rumor on the radio about alien invasions that caused a big panic.  It was just a joke but a lot of people got shook up over it.  Also, I remember when I was in high school and the boys started talking about sex.  I can tell you that 95% of what they said turned out to be untrue.  Be careful not to judge someone just because you heard a rumor about them.  That is a very dangerous thing to do and it can hurt people who don't deserve it.

3.  If it really doesn't concern you then just forget it and keep on moving.  Most of the time, when we hear things about our friends, we really don't need to know about it anyway.  If someone walks up to tell you something bad about your friend, you can choose not to listen at all.  After all, will it make you a better person to hear the rumor?  Will it help you be helpful to your friend?  Maybe but most of the time it won't.

4.  Lastly, if you must know something about the rumor or the story you were told, go to the source.  As many of you know, I have been divorced for about a year now.  Well, before I got divorced someone started a rumor that I was having an affair on my wife and it was completely untrue.  I never did anything like that.  This particular rumor got back to someone I am very close to and instead of spreading the rumor or calling someone else to verify what she heard (read that still just spreading the rumor), she called me.  It was a very loving act and I appreciate it to this day.  She will always have a special place in my heart.

So let me conclude with this.  Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will kill you.  Be careful what you say and hear about other people.  It is best just to let rumors drop and die when you hear them but if you must discuss it with someone, call the source and get it straight.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Fatherhood

OK, I probably should have posted this on Sunday in honor of Father's Day but life is busy and here it is Tuesday.  Today I want to talk about what being a father is about to me.  I think that the whole concept of fatherhood has lost itself somewhere in our society.  Realizing that the number of single parent moms is substantial, there are many kids who grow up without a strong father.

So what does a good father look like?  Well to start with, he needs to take responsibility for his life and his actions.  If you got her pregnant, it's your responsibility take care of the child.  It's your responsibility to train that child in the way he should live so that he will grow up to be a strong citizen and a good person.  Now most of you might think that my last couple of sentences are pointed at guys who get a girl pregnant and then don't marry her or provide for the child.  They certainly apply to that group but I am also talking about married couples and divorced couples as well.  It really doesn't make any difference how that precious child got her, just take responsibility for it and teach it.

Which leads me to my next point.  What should I teach my children?  In my life right now, I have three wonderful children plus two other children who I am around a lot.  So what am I teaching them?  Well yesterday my oldest son mowed the lawn and I paid him to do it.  Then I taught him about tithing.  Regularly we talk about God and how important he is to our life.  Did you know that Abraham was the father of Israel plus many other countries in the middle east?  Do you know why?  Because God knew that Abraham would teach his children about Him.  That's part of our job as dads.  Also dads, we need to know this.  Actions speak much louder than words.  If we tell our children one thing and then act in a different way, they are going to know that we don't believe our own words and they probably wont believe them either.

So after I teach them, what are some other things I should do?  I need to spend on them.  Now most of you might jump to spend money and I certainly tried to lead you that way.  Dad if you had that child, it is your responsibility to help provide for that baby.  Don't tell me that you are a "man" because you are tough, or successful or good looking etc., and yet you don't provide for your own children.  If you aren't trying to provide for them, I'm not sure you are a "man."  But where I want you to really go with this to spend your time on them.  That's normally the thing they want most.  The woman I am dating recently told me she thought I was good with teenagers.  I don't know if that's true or not but if it is true, its because I just talk to them like they are real people.  I don't treat them any different than any other person I would talk to.  I ask them questions about their lives or what's important and then I try really hard to listen to what they say.  Pretty simple stuff huh.

I think one of the most important things you can do to be a good dad is be the spiritual leader of your house.  Let your kids see you pray.  Don't leave all the praying to their mom or to the ladies in your life.  Real strength starts on your knees.  I heard someone say, "Show me a bible that is worn out and I will show you a Christian that isn't."  Let your kids see you spend time in the word of God.  It will help them as they get older.

Let me end this by taking a little different spin.  In many church's today, I hear all kinds of really nice comments about mothers on Mother's day and they are all true.  I am thankful for strong moms.  But then I hear remarks about who really wears the pants in the family or other somewhat derogatory remarks about the dads.  Ladies if you are making those "jokes" regularly, don't be surprised if he lives down to your expectations.  Encourage your man to be a real man and to be a real father.  You will be glad you did.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing

OK I have written several blogs about how to handle situations in life that don't exactly go the way we want them too.  I wrote about not quitting in hard times and several other things along the same line.  But today I want to talk to you about what to do when things are going great.

Many of us have battled how much we weigh right.  When those pants start getting a little tight, we start watching what we eat.  We start skipping dessert and cutting down our food portions until our clothes with the way we want them too, right.  There are all sorts of other areas where this applies.  How about when you hit a crisis?

I know there are places in my life and situations that are challenging to say the least.  When I hit tough places, I normally turn to my bible and begin to trust God in whatever area I need the help.  If my financial picture changes for the worse, I quit spending so much money, etc and I believe God to deliver me out of that situation.  But what should we do when things are going well?

Keep the main thing the main thing.  In my life things are going really well right now.  I am in a great relationship with a wonderful woman, my kids are doing well, my business is continuing to increase and in general life is very good.  What I noticed recently was that I quit seeking God as much as I was doing when things were not as nice.  I quit being as vigilant to do the right things with my life, etc.  Since He is the reason my life got better, doesn't it make sense that I continue to seek Him when times are good?  I think so.  He is my main thing.  But because He is the main thing, everyone else in my life benefits from my being near Him.

I have learned to be more loving and caring, to be smarter at work, to see needs better.  In short, I am continually transformed more into his image when I keep the main thing the main thing.  Now I am not saying that I am perfect by any stretch of the imagination.  The woman that I am dating says that we all get to be human and I think that is so appropriate.  But I am telling you that I am learning more and more every day to keep my focus in the right place.

Guess what, when we keep our priorities right and continue to do what we know to do, the number of valleys we have to go through will decrease.  Why?  Because sometimes the reason we wind up in the valley is because we are looking at the sky and fall off the road all on our own.  We quit paying attention to the small path leading us to the top and wind up in a mess.

So remember, Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Minion and the Box

My last blog was about the Box.  In the interest of time, I will not go over that post here.  If you haven't read it yet, you might want to read that one before this one.  This one will make more sense if you do.

Last time, I talked about the great gifts that God sends to our planet.  One of them is you and I described what these gifts looked like to me.  The people that God sends to earth look like very pretty presents.  Now over time here on earth, the Boxes get holes and tears in them.  Sometimes stuff gets inside the box that doesn't belong.  Instead of character strengths, there are character flaws.  But know this, God never took the talents and gifts out of any of the Boxes.  In other words, when He placed gifts inside of you, he never took them out again.  Well, you might say, I know this person or that person and they are not nice.  Osama Bin Laden was not a nice person was he?  He is responsible for the deaths of many people.  But did you know that God put great gifts inside him when he sent him to the earth.  Guess what.  Those gifts were still inside him when he left the earth.  Unfortunately, they were never seen like God intended.

Most of us don't know anyone like that.  But many of us know people who just aren't nice.  Guess what.  God put those gifts inside them too and they are permanently there.  No matter how bad the devil would like to get them out of us, he simply doesn't have the power to take them out.  We can choose not to develop them but Satan can't steal them from us.  

Here is another interesting note.  Have you ever noticed that we are quick to point out the holes in the box or the tears in the paper but we typically don't notice the gold on the inside?  Well it seems like that happens regularly.  Take the kid at school who doesn't dress like you do or maybe she is just a little shy.  Maybe she sits by herself at lunch and everyone thinks she is strange.  There is something great inside that person that should be celebrated.  Let me illustrate with a story I once heard.

There was this church that got a new member.  The new member was a very pretty lady who happened to wear shorts that were too short and a shirt that was cut way too low to church every Sunday.  This went on for several weeks and the ladies of the church got more and more upset about the whole thing.  They were calling her all sorts of ugly names.  But right in the middle of it all, someone decided that they were going to buy her a dress and make her clean up her act.  Well when they brought the woman the dress she was overjoyed to have something so beautiful to wear to church.  It turns out that she came from a very bad situation and the short shorts and low cut shirt were the best things she had to wear.  She was very thankful to have something much less revealing to wear to church.  That woman had a very admirable trait.  What was it you ask?  She learned to do her very best even if it wasn't as good as someone else.  Also, she had the courage to go to church when she wasn't able to dress like everyone else.  I like that.

Let me tell you about a boy I know.  Now on the outside, he is not the most athletic.  He is in middle school and he is just like every other sixth grader struggling to cope with this new phase in his life.  I remember my time there and would not want to do it again.  This particular kid loves to build things.  Now it would be easy to push him to do more athletics like football or baseball but instead the right thing for his parents is to encourage him to build things.  See he may never be the captain of the football team but what if he builds the next Golden Gate bridge or what if he invents something that will get us off of oil for fuel?  It would be a waste to try to make him something he is not.  Instead, we need to celebrate the gift for building things that God put inside his Box.

So what am I telling you?  Take a little time to look inside someone's box and celebrate who they are today.

That's another Opinion of the Minion 

Know It All Minion

OK today I have to tell on myself.  We can all learn a lesson from this though.

Yesterday, I took an amazing woman with me to church in Houston, TX.  We decided that we wanted to go to church and how we got to this particular one really isn't important but let me describe the church.  I don't know how things really look outside of Texas but for this Texan, when you say small church it brings up a certain image.

The church building is a quaint little place and the biggest structure by far is the sanctuary.  But the whole thing isn't very big.  When you go inside, you find the steeple roof and the bench pews all neatly arranged. There is an alter down front where people go to pray every Sunday.  There you can pray with the pastor or some other deacon who is ready and willing to help you communicate with God.  Most of the time, you see a plaque on the wall that has three rows.  One with weekly attendance, one with the offering from the last service and I can't remember what's in the other row.

The people are all normally very friendly and they want to shake your hand and give you a hug.  They greet you warmly and there is a general order to the church.  That means that certain families have went there for many years and they sit in the same place every Sunday.  As you sit, there are three things in front of you.  There is the Bible, a hymn book and normally a little pencil to fill in the offering envelope that sits next to it.

Many times kids accompany their families to church and sit with mom and dad.  Sometimes it's because mom and dad want them there.  Sometimes it's because the church is so small, they don't really have a children's church.  Normally there is a nursery with a couple of grandmotherly figures who faithfully take care of the babies.  Many times, this is the second or third generation from the same family that they have seen.

The choir sings three hymns, the pastor preaches for about an hour and the whole thing is concluded by noon.  It's just the old time way.

See the thing is, I come from a very big non-denominational church in Fort Worth where we are taught from the bible.  I like our church and it is the best church for me at the moment.  Also, I read my bible every day.  I'm not saying that to brag, the devil knows the bible but it's important to this particular blog.  I have read the bible through several times and while I am not a bible scholar, I do know some things from the bible.  So when we sat down yesterday, I really wasn't expecting to get anything from the message.  After all, this was a small church full of sweet people.  They sang three hymns that I know well and there was only one person in the choir.  After that, the took up the offering and we were welcomed by everyone.

Now these were some very sweet, genuine, loving people.  And for the most part, they were at least one generation older than us if not more.  I was not expecting much revelation out of the service.  We went there to bless this congregation and we enjoyed the whole service.  It was a good one.  What I did not expect was to learn anything.  After all, I go to a big church.  I really didn't expect to get anything from the sermon but guess what.  The Lord used that as an opportunity to teach me that I didn't know it all.  I saw things in that sermon that I have never seen before in all my many years of reading the bible.  Lord, please forgive me for being arrogant.

Let me say, I did not have a major prideful spirit but I was walking in a little bit of pride.  By the end of the service, I am sure our offering blessed them but I know their service blessed and taught us both something.

So what am I trying to say?  We don't know it all.  God can use the most unlikely places to teach us something.  So be careful of that prideful spirit.  It can rob you of learning and so much more.  I am thankful for that sweet church and the sermon we heard.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Is It Right?

Today I want to talk about something sort of serious.  The question - Is it right?  I talk alot about doing the right thing because it's the right thing to do.  Now I am not perfect at it but I really do want to do the right thing.  I believe this is the best way for me to live my life.  It's also the way the Lord wants me to live my life.

There is something else I should say before I get to the main point of this blog.  Doing the right thing means doing it when no one else is looking.  I have seen many fake people who only appear to do right when others are watching but the true test of whether or not we do the right thing is what we do when we are alone.

For example, I tried to lose weight for years.  I would go on diets and when I was out with people, I would eat a salad or something reasonably healthy.  If I was around others when I was "dieting" I ate reasonably well.  And yet several weeks into my "diet" I still weighed the same weight.  Why was that?  Because when I wasn't around other people, I wasn't eating healthy.  I was eating cookies and ice cream or some other form of sugar.  Was I doing the right thing to lose weight?  A small part of the time I was but not all the time.  Which brings me to another great point.  Doing the right thing means that is your way of life.  Does it mean you are perfect?  Certainly not!  For all of us Christians who go around trying to hold other people to the standard of perfection, stop it.  The bible says no one is perfect.

But what I am telling you is that we should try to do the right thing.  This brings me to my point today.  What is the right thing?  I have heard people say that we should do what makes us feel good.  That is the right thing.  Unfortunately, this just isnt true.  There is a right and wrong period.  It doesn't change. 

I was recently in a situation at work where I was going to have to tell someone we worked for that we had not done a very good job.  I thought about several ways to "spin" it and finally decided that the right thing for me to do was to tell them the truth along with what my plan was to correct the problem.  This person could have gotten very upset with me but this person did not.  This person just accepted what I said and told me to correct the problem.  End of story.  I could have tried to spin things but that would have only made the situation worse.  Many times doing the right thing will not feel good but it will get you the result you want.

There are times when I have wondered if I what I was doing was right.  Obviously even in our society today, we know that killing someone is wrong (or at least it's supposed to be).  But there are times when right/wrong is more difficult to distinguish.  Most of the time we know the right thing to do.  I know in my life there are times when I face decisions.  Sometimes I afraid of what will happen.  Sometimes I really want a certain outcome.  In those cases, it can be very tempting to manipulate the situation to get the outcome I want.  When that happens, I start to rationalize that what I am doing is right but sometimes it's not. 

Let me try to illustrate.  Have you ever been to a store or the bank and had the teller give you the wrong change.  Let's say I go to the store and the clerk gives me an extra $20 that really isn't mine.  There is a CD or something else I want to do with that $20.  Maybe I even want to take someone to lunch who really needs me.  That would be a very good use of the $20 right.  So I start thinking to myself that if I take the $20 and use it to help someone else then keeping the $20 is right.  How about if I just say to myself that it's the clerk's fault because he gave me the money.  I didn't do anything wrong.  After all I didn't take the money.  It's his mistake.  How about this.  Maybe God used that clerk to give me the $20 and this was really a blessing from God! 

What am I doing?  I really want to keep the $20.  If I step back for a minute and look at the situation, I know the right thing to do.  That isn't my money.  Make no mistake, God doesn't work in that way.  He has a million ways to get you money and doesn't need to resort to taking it from a clerk who will get in trouble for having the wrong change in his drawer at the end of the day.  The right thing for me to do is to bring the error to the clerk's attention and return the money.

To many of us this example seems a little trivial.  I mean it's only $20 right?  Well how about when we are talking about an unborn baby?  Uh oh, now what?  Did you ever notice that everyone who is pro abortion has already been born?  Ladies and gentlemen, I know abortion is a very sensative subject and I will not engage in a debate about it.  I'm merely trying to make a point.  If you have been a part of an abortion (and I have gotten a girl pregnant who had an abortion while I was at the clinic) then know this - there is total and complete forgiveness.  God loves you deeply and making a wrong decision doesn't change that.  You are not a second class citizen and you have not been cut out of God's family for it.

So let me sum this up.  We are all faced with decisions every day.  I don't think we will ever be perfect.  If so, we would not need God.  But I do think we should do our best to do right.  To do the right thing, we have to define what is right and what is wrong.  Let me end with this, you have got to stand for something or you will fall for anything (I don't know who said it but it's true).

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Is It Real?

Today I want to talk about something that is a little strange to me.  The question is - Is it real?  Is what real, you ask?  When someone tells you something nice is it real?  Several months ago, I wrote a blog about the Box.  It was probably the most significant thing I have written thus far because it meant so much to me.  In this blog, I wrote about how we should look at the stuff that is on the inside of people and not the outside.  I think it is important to see the great things God has put in all of us.  Now it may have been the same blog or maybe not but I also wrote a little about how to take a compliment.

Recently, I have been around someone who has taken the time to take the lid off my box and see what's on the inside of me.  This person has been very complimentary of me and to be honest, it is a little unsettling.  I am not really sure how to take it.  She's used words to describe me like nice, sweet, caring, etc.  She even went as far as to say that I was a good man.  I am extremely grateful for the compliments and I believe that they are from the heart and sincere but they made me a little uncomfortable.  That made me consider my own actions a little.

When I am around someone, I try to be very positive.  I have worked hard to be someone who sees the best in others.  While I am not perfect, I feel like I have come a long way.  Like I have said before, I'm not where I want to be but thank God, I'm not where I used to be.  But I got a lesson today in how it feels to have someone do the same thing back to me.  Now it is unsettling but in a good way. 

I recently told someone that I thought they were a very special person and the response I got was not surprising.  That person basically said she struggled to believe what I was saying but she was working on believing it.  I have had this answer before in a different context and I wasn't shocked.  What surprised me a little was that this person didn't believe me.  Now she didn't think I was lying, she just found the nice thing I said difficult to believe.  At the time, I didn't understand why but now I think understand why she felt this way.

Have you ever been around someone who tells you one thing and then does another?  How about someone who tells you that they love you and then they do hateful things to you?  What message does that send?  Actions speak much louder than words so the actions certainly override the words.  Also, for some reason pain has a much more lasting effect on people than love.  At least on the surface this is the case.  So when we feel pain, the thought of it stays longer than love although love will impact you on a much deeper level.  But after someone hurts us, especially if it's for a long period of time, we really have a difficult time believing someone else when they say something nice.

Let me ask you this.  Has something happened in your life that makes it hard for you to believe things when people say nice things about you?  Maybe your self esteem is so low that it makes it hard for you to believe the nice things that people say about you.  The truth about the matter is that everything God ever made is amazing.  He made you and by definition that makes you an amazing person.  God wrote a whole book about you and how amazing you are.  The book says you were made in his image.  If someone tells you any different, ask yourself who's lying?  Is it them or God?  I choose them.  If someone tells you something good about you, it's probably true.  Now I do believe that we need to watch out for people who say nice things to manipulate us.  However, there are many people who just recognize the amazing gifts that God put in our box.  When that happens, let it soak through your skin like rain into the ground and get to your heart where it can grow into something amazing.

Today as we were walking, this person told me that I was pretty special.  I know what she says is sincere and I should have been able to believe her and just say thank you.  However, this is hard for me because it's hard for me to feel worthy of the compliment. There is a fine line between believing that we are worthy and being arrogant.  For years I have tried to hide behind humility to avoid compliments.  Now true humility is good and I try to be a humble person.  But I would avoid compliments or block them out because I didn't feel worthy of the compliment.  Instead of dealing wih not being worthy, I simply chose to believe that accepting a compliment could make me arrogant.

I am learning to accept these things from people and let them cause a harvest of good things to grow from my heart.  In truth, we all need to learn this lesson.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

My Faith Story

Hello everyone.  As most of you who read this blog know, I am a Christian.  An amazing person asked me to share my testimony with her and because if what she said to me after I told her, I thought I would share my personal testimony with you.  After you read this, I would very much love to hear yours.  Please, please, please right back and tell me your testimony.  They are such a blessing.

I have edited it a little but this is what I told her:

I think I was saved when I was four or five. The reason I say this is I have always thought that Jesus was my Lord as long as I could remember. Living like he was Lord was a different thing growing up. We went to a non-denominiational church that believed in the baptism of the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in other tongues. The problem with the penticostal denomination is there are some very wierd people doing extremely strange things that make everyone else look strange. I attend Eagle Mountain Church now and it is a non-denominational church. 

Anyway, let me go back in time. Growing up I had a drug problem. My mom drug me to church every Sunday and I hated it. It interfered with watching the Cowboy games and even when they weren't playing I liked to watch wrestling on Saturday night which put me up late.  Hey, I was just a kid.  I didn't know it was fake back then.  I watched local wrestling and really go into it.  Anyway, after I got out of children's church, my brother and I sat at the back of the church in a strategic spot that would allow me to put my bible under my right arm and keep my head straight up and down while I slept. The only way you would know I was sleeping was if you were sitting in front of me and turned around or if I snored.  No one ever woke me up so I guess I didn't snore too loud.  We were also far enough away from the pulpit that the pastor or preacher couldn't see us either.

Back then we went to Calvary Cathedral which is a non-denominational church near downtown. So I slept every Sunday and Pastor Bob Nichols would always end his service by saying, "Father, we have heard the word of God today...." I always felt bad because I hadn't heard it. I slept through the service and I didn't want to lie to God so I wouldn't say that part. Then I finally started staying awake and listening to the word.

That's about when I started TCU. At TCU I was in ROTC and was pretty excited about doing a "varsity sport" called Ranger Challenge. I was in the hunt to make the team when I had an accident at church softball practice that caused me to miss making the team (it was just a bruised thigh but by the time I could run again, I had missed it). That sent me into somewhat of a depressed state. To cut the story a little short, I ended up getting "kicked out" of ROTC because I couldn't hold my weight down and ended up moving in with a girl. This is probably the lowest point in my life and what happened next was truly terrible.  I got her pregnant and she had an abortion.  At this point, I was as far away from God as I ever remember being.  But here's something amazing.  I was far from him but he was never far from me.  The bible says he will never leave me nor forsake me.

While I was going through this period of my life, I obviously quit going to church. I thought up all kinds of nasty things to say about the people who went there. I said they were hypocrites, unfriendly, not real, etc. Word of what I was saying got back to the church I am sure but I never heard anything ugly in response. So, I was living in a one bedroom apartment with this girl and her parents came down and broke us up.  I met her parents before the pregnancy and I remember going for a walk with her dad.  Since we were in college, dating was serious and he wanted to know what my intentions were with his daughter.  I told her dad I wanted to marry her.  It's a wonder he didn't shoot me right there!  I was a complete disaster.  I had been kicked out of ROTC, I was barely able to stay in school, my grades were terrible and I lost my job because I was too lazy to go to work.  If my daughter brought me from back then home, I would have been horrified. After they broke us up, I ultimately got evicted from my apartment because I was too lazy to work and moved back in with my mom and dad. I was either 21 or 22 at the time. At this point, I knew something was desperately wrong. I could not figure out what to do so I would go sit in the bathtub with my bible knowing something wasn't right but not knowing what to do.

Finally, I decided I needed to get right with God (Maybe I got saved for the first time at this point. Honestly, I am not sure). So I decided to go to church with my brother who still attended our church in the youth service. I was prepared to be shunned and rejected and I deserved it but I needed to get right with God and I knew he would be there whether or not the people received me or not. The youth pastor's name was Mark Carillo and I know he preached a sermon but to this day, I have no idea what he preached. As I sit writing this, I am listening to a song called, "The Lighthouse." It couldn't be more appropriate. So Pastor Mark was preaching and it was all I could do not to yell at him to shut up and open the alter. I needed to get right with God and I wanted it done right then. The thought of just going to God on my own was something I could not quite understand yet. Anyway, as soon as he opened the alter, I was the first one down. Then something truly amazing happened. Those people who I had bad mouthed just gathered around me and loved me. They hugged me and prayed with me. It was living mercy that still brings tears to my eyes.

When I stood up, I knew I was right with God and it was a great feeling.

That's the testimony of the Minion 

Believe in Yourself

Today I want to encourage you to give yourself a tremendous gift this Christmas season.  Believe in yourself.  That may seem pretty hard to do.  I know it is for me sometimes.  Now when it comes to what other people think, I guess I look pretty "successful" but there are times when I have trouble believing in myself.

There are going to be times in your life when this is a very difficult thing to do.  Especially during the holiday season, it can be easy to get depressed and down if you let yourself.  My friend, Kari already posted something in her blog about this and I will try to deal with it later myself.

The reality is that you have to believe in yourself if you want to be truly successful and happy in life.  It is very easy for me to believe in other people and their abilities.  Do you think you can write a book?  I believe you can.  Do you think you can go to school and get a degree?  I believe you can.  Do you think you can overcome being overweight or some other addiction?  I believe you can.  Do I believe I can do any of those things?  Yes on the last two and I am working on the first one.  Now especially when it comes to writing, I didn't really believe that I was a writer until recently.  I must say I enjoy the experience.

Did you know that you can have self confidence in one area and lack it in another?  I know I do.  My daughter gave me a great glimpse this weekend of what self confidence looks like.  We were sitting at breakfast eating donuts when a mom walked through the door carrying a baby.  Many times when we see a little child, I tell the kids that they were once that small and we all laugh.  The mother had her back to us and the baby was big enough that he was holding his head up and it was above mom's shoulder.  Before I could say anything to my daughter, she said, "I was that big once."  She beat me to the punch and I smiled.  Then she leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "But I was cuter."  She obviously has no problem believing that she is a cute kid.  She certainly gets plenty of confirmation from everyone about this fact and that's good.

For me, I used to be fat but now I am not.  I must admit that I struggle in this area a little.  I don't have a bad self image but if a woman shows interest in me (for all my friends, yes it does happen occasionally), I have a hard time believing it.  That's not to say that it is an every day occurrence by any stretch of the imagination but it's nice when it happens.

I struggle to understand why it is so easy for me to have confidence in some areas and lack confidence in others.  I think it's because I am human (as much as I hate to admit it sometimes).  However, you have to believe in you before anyone else will.  Before anyone ever told me they appreciated the Minion, thought, I had to believe that I could write and do it.  Before anyone told me that I could lose weight, I had to believe that I could and change my lifestyle.  Before anyone ever believed I could go through law school, I had to prove to myself that I could.  Do you see the common thread?  Also consider this, if I had never took action on my belief, I would never have gotten anywhere in any of these areas.

See, faith in yourself or in God without works is dead faith.  You cannot truly believe in yourself without taking action in a specific area.  If I really do think I am a good guy, I should ask a girl out.  If I don't believe in myself enough to ask, how can I expect her to say she will?  And if I never ask, we know for certain that she never will.  Also, let me leave you with one more thought on the subject.  Let's take dating because the illustration seems clear to me right now.  If you want to go out with a girl and you never ask her out, you will never go out with her.  However if you ask her, she might turn you down but she might actually go.  Don't be afraid to fail forward.

So what am I trying to tell you?  You must believe in yourself and you must do so before anyone else will.  We will truly know if you believe in yourself by your actions.  Until your believe motivates you to act, it isn't really faith, it's still just hope.  So what are your dreams today?  Believe in yourself and give yourself a chance for success by taking a chance.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Somebody Like Me

This morning I am sitting listening to a song called, "Somebody Like Me" by Jason Crabb.  This song is about a homeless man that walks into a church and no one sits next to him, no one ministers to him and when he leaves no one goes after him.  Yesterday a friend of mine and I were listening to this song as we drove to lunch.  He said something that was true but it didn't sit right with me regardless.  He said that he had never seen this happen at his church and that people would have reached out to this guy if they were at his church.  I agree and that would probably happen at my church as well.  The problem is we get all emotional at church and then what happens when we walk out the door?  If we are Christians, what does Christ look like to the rest of the world?  Will Christ stop to help someone?  Will Christ give to someone in need or will Christ make some excuse about why he can't help.  Understand this - The only Christ that some people will ever see is you and me.

Let me tell you about a couple of places where I faced this situation.  One was in the church lobby a few weeks ago.  There is a lady at my church who I have sort of known all my life.  I have been to basically three churches in my life and her family has been at the same three.  The funny thing is we don't know them all that well.  This particular lady has such a sweet spirit.  She loves God and you can just tell.  On this particular morning, she was a Christian and I wasn't.  The interesting thing is that this particular lady has some type of mental disability and while older than me, she acts much younger.

As she walked toward me that Sunday, I didn't want to talk to her.  I buried my head in my phone pretending to be doing something but really I was just hoping that she would pass me by so I wouldn't have to talk to her.  All she wanted was to talk to someone and have them talk back to her with some amount of interest in what she was saying.  I however was too caught up in myself to be Christ.  As someone walked up and diverted her attention, I quickly got up and walked off.  Oh how easy it is to write this blog and have people from all over the world read it but when it came to actually being a member of the body of Christ I failed that morning.  When the reality of that set in, I was ashamed of myself because I know I am better than that.  Have you ever experienced a situation like that?  If so, you know how it feels to have an opportunity to do something for someone else and miss it.  My Father still loves me but He certainly couldn't have been happy with me that morning.  I know I wasn't.

But the Lord had a special way of telling me and showing me how much He loves me.  I don't speak with this person very often but the next morning as I was rounding the corner, here she came again.  This time was different.  I was excited.  I got an opportunity to talk to her and really more let her talk to me and I took it with gusto.  It didn't last very long but I know she enjoyed talking to me and I really enjoyed talking to her.  This particular Sunday, that somebody was me.  It felt great.

Now let's get outside the church walls.  What does Christ look like at Starbucks on Wednesday morning?  Please do not take the rest of this story as bragging because it isn't.  I constantly deal with the feeling that I don't do enough for other people.  It seems like no matter how many people I help, I never feel like I do much and certainly not enough.  Anyway, as I was sitting in Starbucks working this morning, and a man walked up to me who looked dirty.  He handed me a laminated piece of paper that said he was mute and looking for money for food for his family.  He showed me tatoos on his arms with the names of his parents and the dates of their deaths.  I really didn't want to deal with him because I was enjoying what I was doing.  Before he got to me, he stopped at another table to ask for help and they turned him down.  But here's the difference.  This time I purposed in my heart to be someone God could use.  I decided that God could count on me to show this man Christ.  I wasn't going to be relegated to the side lines this time.  I was going to get in the game.  He was going to see Christ give.  I am thankful that Christ gave me the ability to bless him.

Please don't take this wrong.  I, above all people, know that I'm nothing special.  But I do know that I serve One who is beyond special.  As we get closer to Thanksgiving, I want to challenge you to look around you.  If you are a Christian, what does Christ look like to the people who are around you?  Are you helping?  When was the last time you helped someone who could do nothing for you in return?  When was the last time someone saw Christ in you?  In my own life, people don't see Christ enough.

That's the Opinion of the Minion

My Oldest Son

In keeping with my theme for this month, I want to send another letter.  This one is to my oldest son.  I am so thankful for him.

Dear David,

As I write this, you are going through a hard transition in life.  Some of this is just part of life and some of it is because of your mom and I.  You are adjusting to 6th grade, changes in your attitude toward girls and unfortunately mom and I's divorce.  It is a lot for one kid to handle and I think you are doing such a good job.

As I look back on my how I have done as your father so far, I am a little sad because I know that I could have done much better.  I was just recently that I realized how little I knew about being a Godly father.  It is my whole heart's desire to teach you to be one in the few years we have left before you step out on your own.  I want to prepare you to be a Godly man.  If I can do that, I have succeeded beyond my wildest imagination for you.  The strange thing is I think in spite of all we have done, you are already becoming a very Godly young man.

I am so very proud of you.  Whether you know it or not, you started school when you were three years old because you had speech issues.  This was due to a hearing problem you had as a little tyke.  Now when I was in school kids in those classes were sort of looked down at and made fun of.  When I was in school, those kids barely made it through.  But not you.  You went from needing help with speech to all honors classes.  You are a really brilliant young man.  I also see things in you that I never could be at your age.  I look at you and see courage.

How?  Well, it took courage to ask that girl to the homecoming dance.  I would never, ever have done it because I would have been too afraid.  When we talked afterwards, you told me that your heart was pounding in your chest pretty hard and that even though when you asked her the dance had already passed, she was nice to you with her reply.  Son, I want you to remember that feeling and what you did.  There will be many more opportunities in life for you to feel that way and make a decision.  You are going to be in places where you risk rejection in your life.  It just happens.  But you possess that special quality called courage.  Don't ever change that.  Take risks because if you don't, you won't have rewards.  I know you didn't see it that way then but that's what you did and I am extremely proud of you.

Son, you are growing up so fast and it seems like it will only accelerate from here.  As you get older, I want you to understand something.  I heard a story about the head of the Salvation Army.  You know those guys who stand ringing the bell at Christmas time asking for donations.  Well they take those and use them to help people who need it.  One year, the head of the Salvation Army was going to send a telegram to all his offices around the world.  He wrote it out and then went to send it.  When he got to the telegraph office, he realized that it was too long and he had to cut it down.  So he trimmed it down to one sentence. Again, it was too expensive to send.  He finally trimmed it down to a single word - others.  Son, that's what our life is all about.  We are to help others.  You have to let the Lord show you who and how but always remember that's what life is about.  As you get older, you will see people who define success by how much education and money you have.  I thought the same way for a long time.  Don't get me wrong, money and education are important but not as important as people.  Think of others and ask the Lord to show you who you can help today.

Lastly, I want to talk to you about what you are going through in school today.  I know some of the kids make fun of you.  That really hurts your feelings and quite frankly, it just plain sucks.  When I was in school, kids did the same thing to me.  Grandma and Grandpa did they very best they could but I didn't wear brand name clothes like the rest of the kids and some people made fun of me a lot.  I also got made fun of because I had big ears and I had a lot of pimples.  It really hurt my feelings.  Son, as you go through these times, know that you were not alone.  Guess who else was made fun of and people talked bad about? - Jesus.  I guess that puts us in pretty good company huh.  You may not see it now but this will pass.  Just keep doing the right thing because it's the right thing.

I cannot begin to express how impressed I am with you.  You are smart, handsome, loyal, you love God, you aren't afraid to share your faith, you know how to build stuff, you always try to help your brother and sister, and you are a really respectful young man.  No matter what you do, know that I will always love you.

Love,

Dad

That's another letter from the Minion

Impact

Today I want to talk to you about something important - impact.  Impact what you ask?  Not what but who.  Who's life do you impact?  Some people you know, some you would know if you thought about it and some you may never know this side of heaven but you do impact people's lives.  The question is how do you impact them?

We have all had situations where we did something we regret and it might have impacted someone in a very negative way.  While that is certainly unfortunate and we should all strive to avoid hurting people, I want to discuss how we impact people in a good way.

The first group of people we impact are people we impact their lives and we know it.  I recently found out that a friend of mine was having a really bad day.  I was able to do something for her that really cheered her up.  It was really cool because I knew she was hurting and I got to help brighten her day.  I also got to brighten two of her friends day at the same time.  It was a really fun thing to do.  So let me ask you, when was the last time you did something nice for someone?  When did you do something for someone just because you wanted to do a nice thing without hope of any type of payment?  Can you think of exactly what you did and when?  If it was longer than a week ago, you are long over due to help someone.  I apologize right now if this sounds like bragging.  If you know my heart, you know I don't ever want to brag on myself.  However, it is fun to be the person God uses to bless someone.  I had one day last week where I was able to bless several people on the same day.  It was really neat.  I even had the opportunity to do something nice for someone today.  That came with a huge payoff though.  The smile on that person's face made the whole thing worth while.

The next group of people are ones that you can impact in a positive way if you will just look around and pay attention.  I struggle with this group sometimes because I don't pay as much attention to others as I should.  Now everything you do for someone doesn't have to be a big thing.  Maybe its something small like seeing someone walking out of Starbucks with their hands full and opening the door for them.  I did that today.  Was it a big deal?  No.  Was it something nice for someone I didn't know?  Sure.

See, we all know what our friends and family need.  In many cases, because we are so close to that group, that we are intimately aware of what they need.  When we get a chance to help, we should.  But what about other people around us?  What about the guy in the wheel chair struggling up a hill.  I recently watched a guy go up a hill near my apartment.  I should have helped him but I didn't.  Look around you, there are people everywhere that need help, we just have to open our eyes and watch.

There is another group that we should pay close attention.  Unfortunately, we will never know who this group is.  Well, how can we pay attention to them if we don't know who they are?  We can pay attention to how we treat people in general and the example we set.  Whether you know it or not, people are watching you every day to see what kind of person you are.  Do you help people or do you hurt people.  Let me ask a question.  If you were the only Jesus someone ever saw, what would they think of Him?  That's a pretty sobering question and if you take it the wrong way, you can wind up in condemnation.  I don't want you to go there.  What if someone looked at the way you acted and said, "That person is just a great person.  If that is what Jesus is all about, count me in?"  That would be pretty cool huh.

Well, sometimes we can say a word of encouragement to someone and we will never know that they were encouraged.  Not too long ago, I was talking to a close friend of mine who happens to be my banker.  We were talking and he was telling me about a mutual friend of ours who now lives in Houston and is doing quite well.  Apparently several years ago, I was sharing with our friend about tithing and how it changed my life.  I learned that the true way to increase was to give.  That doesn't make sense right?  But it works.  Anyway I don't even remember talking about this with our friend but apparently he was inspired by what I told him and started tithing himself.  Now he is very successful and he told my banker friend that he remembered our conversation from several years ago even to this day. If I remember right, that pushed him over the top in the right direction.

So let me leave you with this.  You impact people around you all the time everyday.  It's up to you what you do with that opportunity.  You have the ability to do something nice for someone that will bless them and encourage them.

In this life, making a million dollars isn't important, making a difference is.

That's the Opinion of the Minion

Why Minion?

Today, I want to talk about something that is extremely important - Why we do things.  I don't want to focus on what motivates you to go to work or school or do clean up after yourself, although all of those things are very important.  I want to focus for a few minutes on what why we do things for other people.  What is our motivation?  I can already hear some of you thinking, I don't really do anything for other people.  But I think you probably do and don't know it.  The question I have today is why?

Is our motivation for helping others just purely to help them or is our motivation for helping other people so that we can get something in return from them?  Sometimes it is very difficult to distinguish why we do things.

Let me illustrate.  Part of the time I was growning up we lived on a street called Sherwood in River Oaks, TX (Mom, it's definitely not Tulane as you will see).  Now my brother is about 4 years younger than me and it just so happened that we had friends who lived down the street who were the same age as us.  We played together a lot.  When the weekend came, we always wanted to spend the night and basically asked my mom to do a kid swap.  One weekend, I would go to their house and my brother's friend would come to ours and the next weekend, we would switch.  So we would try to con our mother into letting us do this.  How did you con her you ask?  (Disclaimer - we were not exactly the world's smartest con men in those days.)  We decided that if we cleaned the house top to bottom to "bless" mom that she would be in a better place to let us go.  Notice that our motiviation was never really to bless mom but to get our way.  Little did we know that all she wanted was for us to help and she would let us go anyway.  As I said, we weren't the smartest cons and mom laughed at us all the time.

That's really cute because we were little kids right?  Well, let's grow things up a little and you will see that this manipulation can really be a problem.  As I have said before, I am a giver.  I really like to give to others of my time, money, etc., and this is a very good thing to do.  But what would it look like if I was "giving" something to someone with the expectation that they would do something for me in return?  That is a really bad place because it's no longer a gift but a tool used to manipulate someone to get my way.  I constantly have to check my motives to make sure that I am just giving to help.  Does that surprise you?  It shouldn't.  We are all that way.  We all have a mind that wants what it wants and it can be very easy to get off track with why we do things.

As a matter of fact, I caught myself doing this several weeks ago.  It wasn't intentional on my part and when I figured it out, I was more than a little bothered.  There was a situation that I really wanted to see go a certain way.  Now my way wasn't a bad way to do things and ultimately I might get what I wanted all along.  But during this time, I recognized that I was putting a lot of pressure on the situation and might have caused someone else pain because of it. I didn't even really understand what I was doing until I stepped back and took a look at the situation from a distance.  Once I did, it was pretty easy to see what I was doing and I immediately put a stop to it.

Worse than that, I hear people tell me that their motivation for doing a certain thing is to get even with our hurt someone else.  This type of conduct is terrible.  I know of a certain situation where a guy says hurtful things to this other person just so he can humiliate, intimidate and manipulate them.  Folks, that type of behavior just shouldn't be.

So let me ask you this.  What is your motivation for the way you treat other people?  Are you doing things strictly for their good or is there something inside you that is trying to get what you want from them in return?  You may not even know that your motivation is wrong.  When is the last time you took a step back and looked at your motiviation for the way you treat others?  I bet you don't think about it much but it's important. 

And that's another Opinion of the Minion

A Minion's Good Judgment

Today I want to deal with the subject of judgment.  Don't you just love to be around people who are always judging you or someone else?  Those are my favorite types of people.  Well not really.  I very much dislike being around them.  But let's talk about judgment for a minute.  If you have ever been to church, you have heard the quote from the bible, "Judge not lest ye be judged."  We have taken that to mean that when I am around someone who hurts me or does bad things to me, that I can't judge them right.  I think this is very true.  I cannot judge a person period.

But what I can do is judge their actions.  It's OK to judge a person's actions.  But what I think we really like to do is use judging a persons actions as a spring board to get to what is really fun - judging people.  See I caught myself doing that here recently and honestly I didn't really even know I was doing it.  But before I get to that, let me talk about some things its OK to judge.

Sometimes we are around people who use this don't judge people thing as a way to manipulate us and hurt us.  All the while, they are saying that you can't judge them.  What they are really saying is they want you to continue to allow them to treat you badly.  That's not OK.  If you are around someone who is constantly hurting you, their actions are wrong and that is what I am judging.  I am not saying they are a bad person.  However, don't let people manipulate you into doing what they want if it is wrong.

While I am at it, let me step on a few more toes.  If someone comes up to you and tells you in a loving and kind way that they think you are behaving wrongly, consider what they say.  I know some people who are very difficult to correct because they cannot take someone telling them they are wrong.  I personally like to know when I am wrong (this is not an open invitation for you to correct me).  Let me say that I only trust a few people to tell me I am behaving wrongly.  Most of the time, I listen to my heart and the Lord will correct me where I need correction.  Be thankful when someone does that for you, if you know they really love and care about you.  For me personally, I don't want to go around being wrong.  Have you ever had that dream where you are walking around in your underwear or worse and everyone is laughing at you?  Well that's a little drastic but I think when we walk around constantly behaving wrong in an area, that is exactly what we are doing.

So let me tell you about the wrong kind of judgment.  I know this guy who was extremely judgmental to certain people in his life.  As a matter of fact, he really didn't like having them around.  Why, because some of them did do things that hurt his feelings.  Some of them did nothing to hurt his feelings.  He was just judgmental.  Now I don't know if he was ever judgmental outright to these people's faces but he certainly was in his heart.  He didn't really do it on purpose but he couldn't separate judging a person and judging their actions.  See some of their actions needed to be understood.  In some ways they used him but didn't know it.  So what did he do in return.  He got mad and judged them personally.  He considered himself a pretty humble guy.  He didn't go around openly telling everyone that he thought he was smart or successful.  He didn't go around showing off how much money he made or what he had (although many people thought this was the case).  As a matter of fact, he quit showing people the cool stuff he got and he quit telling people about the cool things that happened to him because some people got jealous.

Regardless of what they did to him, he began to judge himself as better than them.  Now here is where it gets a little strange.  He didn't judge himself smarter, or more successful, or more educated than the people around him.  That would have been too obvious.  He judged worse than that.  He began to see himself as nicer than them.  He would look at his wife and see all the times that she did things that were not nice toward him and only consider the nice things he did for her.  He is to this day a giver and began to feel that people took advantage of that.  So he judged himself to be a nicer and therefore better person than many of the people around him.

OK let me give you three guesses on this guy's identity.  Do you really need three guesses?  Yup, you know it.  This guy is me.  It is a very humbling experience when the Lord shows you that you aren't really all that.  Now I quit judging people before I started writing for the most part but I didn't realize that I was doing it.  It's easy for me to hear people saying nice things about this blog and some of the other stuff I do.  I even have a good friend who told me she thought I was a great guy.  She didn't mean it as one of those blow off things.  This girl really puts me on a pedestal.  She sees things in me that I didn't know were there.  As a matter of fact, there was a certain thing about the Minion that happened that shocked me.  She said that she was surprised it took as long as it did.  So guess what, the Minion isn't all that.  I have already done this in private but I want to go on record in front of you and ask God to forgive me for being judgmental.  That is truly a terrible thing to do and I am ashamed of it.  If I have judged you wrongly instead of just judging your actions, please forgive me.

So let me ask you a question?  Where are you being like I was?  Where are you judging people?  I bet that somewhere you are judging them instead of their actions.  That has to stop.  Do you like to sit around and talk about other people?  That's called gossip and it's very judgmental.  We have to stop that.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

A Minion's Hope

Today I want to talk to you about hope.  I belive the single most devistating thing that can happen in your life is to loose hope.  Hope is one of the most important parts of our lives but how often do we hear someone say, "Don't get your hopes up."  That is one the of the dumbest things I have ever heard.  I want you to get your hope sky high.  OK, I can immediately hear people saying, "He has flipped out.  I hoped that this would happen or that would happen and it didn't.  When I hoped for that situation to work out in my life and it didn't, that hurt me deeply and I would have been better of not to have gotten my hopes up at all." 

Let me say, I certainly understand your point.  I have done the same thing.  I got my hopes up that a certain area of my life would change and it didn't.  A few months ago, I got my hopes up about a certain relationship and that didn't work.  I used to get my hopes up all the time that I could go on a diet and loose weight.  I used to get my hopes up that I would be in a great relationship with a woman and that didn't work.  Even recently, I got my hopes up about a situation that didn't work out like I wanted.  So I should have just let it go.  I should have not hoped at all.  Think about it.  Wouldn't it have been better if I hadn't hoped.  If I had just expected failure.  That way I wouldn't have felt the disappointment and in some cases pain of the failure.  I can see what you mean by your question above.  Maybe you were even right.

Well, not so fast.  The critical question about hope is in what or where do I place it?  If I place my hope in you that you will do something or you place your hope in me that I will do something, at some point we will both be disappointed.  Why?  Because we aren't perfect.  Also, sometimes we put our hope in a person who isn't capable of doing what we want anyway.  Think of it this way, if you put your hope in me that I will be able to dunk a basketball.  I can 100% gaurantee you that you will be disappointed.  I am 5'7" tall and my verticle jump won't get me there.  That's not really important in the grand scheme of life but what if you put your hope in a friend or relationship to make you happy?

What if you looked to a girl or guy as the thing that was going to make you happy in life?  That other person is going to make a mistake somewhere and disappoint you.  It will probably hurt when they do.  See, they weren't made perfect so they are not capable of being perfect.  Everyone is going to make mistakes and when the mistake involves you, it is going to hurt.  "OK," you say, "if you want me to have hope and hope is so critical to my life, who or what do I put my hope in?"

Some of you who read this are ahead of me and know exactly where I am going.  That makes me smile.  I will tell you where I put my hope.  I put my hope in God.  He isn't just a train ticket to Heaven.  He is what keeps me going here.  I know that he cannot fail.  If I put my trust in him, there is no area we cannot conquer.  I desire with all my heart to have a godly mate.  I want a woman I can cherish, protect, care for, and grow with.  I want one that I can talk to.  You know my personal feelings from reading the Box.  So when I get around someone who I think is a good candidate, do I put my hope in her that she will be what I am seeking?  Nope, I put my trust in God.  He said He would provide all my needs so I put my hope in Him that He will provide what I need.  I don't hope in the woman, I hope in God.  When I do this, there is such great peace because no matter what comes up, my hope is in God.  If I have a good night or bad, it doesn't matter because my hope stays where it belongs.  Guess what, as I have done this, I have seen deliverance and help from God in every area where I put this to work. 

Recently on Facebook there was a person who stated that they were Wiccan (sp?).  My response was, Why?  I certainly respect their right to be Wiccan.  That wasn't really what I was asking.  Then someone else posted that this person was Wiccan because they chose their religion just like I did.  Well I appreciate their response as I do believe they were honestly trying to help me out but what I wanted to know is why did you chose to be Wiccan?  I can tell you why I choose to be a Christian.  It's because God still helps me everyday.  It's because when I call on Him, He answers.  It's because when things seem like they are coming apart, I can go to Him and He makes me to be at peace even though it looks like I am in deep trouble.  When I place my hope in Him, it centers and grounds me.  All of the sudden, my world turns right side up and things look good again.

And that's another Opinion of the Minion

The Minion Who Wasn't Good Enough

Today, I want to deal with something we all feel from time to time.  What to do when I don't feel good enough.  Have you ever felt that way?  I normally don't.  If you have read many of my blogs, I don't want you to get the wrong impression.  I am a very confident guy.  I really like myself and in a good way, I am proud of who I am.  I am a good guy.  I help my friends and family when I can and I have accomplished some pretty cool stuff.  I went law school and graduated high in my class, passed the bar, lost 160 pounds one time, etc.  Now I am not saying that to brag but I want you to know that I think well of me.

That said, there are times when I just don't feel like I am good enough.  Have you ever felt that way?  Have you ever felt like no matter what you did, it just wasn't enough.  Have you ever wondered why people only notice the bad stuff you do and not the good stuff?  I mean we all know those people.  You know the ones.  When you tell them you made a 95 on a test, they want to know why you didn't make a 100.  Or how about the ones who always tell you what you should do to better yourself and never tell you the good things that you already do?  If we aren't careful, this can cause us to feel inadequate.  I know.  I have felt that many times and even here recently.  Now the good thing for me is that these feelings don't stay long.  I know what I am worth because the Bible tells me so.  I know that God thinks I am good enough.  He sees the good things I do and he tells me how proud he is of me.  Don't misunderstand this.  I don't think God loves me because of what I do or don't do.  He loves me because He is love.  I can never earn God's love.  That's why there is grace.  He loves me just because.

In a similar way, I can never earn any one's love.  If you are trying to earn some one's love or affection, quit.  It won't work.  They either love you for you or they don't.  And if they don't, then stop wasting time trying to make them.  See today, more and more, people are becoming lovers of themselves.  That's a shame but it was bound to happen.  What do I mean by that?  More and more people are only concerned about themselves and what they want.  When you find someone who actually cares about others, treasure them.  They are becoming more and more rare.  I have a friend like that.  She is always doing nice things for me.  Do you know what that makes me want to do?  It makes me want to do nice things back.  It's not because I want to "even the score."  It's because her kindness makes me want to be kind.

So the question is am I good enough?  Before I can answer that, let me ask another question - Good enough for what?

Am I good enough for people to respect, love and treat me right.  The answer to that is absolutely, positively, unequivocally, without a doubt, YES.  You are good enough just because you are.  You deserve love and respect just because you are you.  There is nothing that can increase or diminish that.

Are there times when I am not good enough to accomplish all that I want to?  Sure.  Remember I told you I wasn't a good football player.  I wasn't good enough to start on the football team.  What should you do if you try something and fail?  Try again and again and again.  Remember, if you get knocked down, get back up.  Keep going.  Sooner or later, you will accomplish your goals if you keep trying.  I have always believed that I can do anything.  Well, except maybe dunk a basketball. ;)

And that's the Opinion of the Minion

My Greatest Failure

Today, I want to talk about failure.  Now, most of the time I try to write positive and upbeat blogs.  When I read what I write, it challenges me to be a better person.  I have always said that if what you see from me is the best you ever see then that is a tragedy because I should get better every day.  But failure is inevitable in life.  We all go through it at some point.  So how do we deal with it?  Does it hurt?  Absolutely.  Do I wish I hadn't failed?  Sure.  Did I fail?  Yes.  Let me use one of my favorite lines from the movie Dirty Dancing, "When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong."  You have to own your failures and successes.

See, I am recently divorced.  I made a commitment before God to stay married to a woman for the rest of my life.  It was a covenant that I couldn't keep.  Now I won't go into all the reasons behind the divorce itself because they aren't important.  Some of my readers know me personally and thus will know my now, ex-wife.  Let me say something about her before I go forward.  I wish her only the best and most happy days in life.  I have done my best to walk through this divorce with integrity and honor.  Have I always been successful?  No.  But this lady, deserves to be happy.  She is a wonderful mother to our three kids and I am very sorry things didn't work out between us.  I want to publicly forgive her for any wrong doing toward me and I ask the same from her.  This is my greatest failure in life.

Do you want to hear all the juicy details of what happened?  Would you like me to blame my wife for our marriage falling apart?  Well, I won't tell you because those things are personal.  Let me just use an old saying, "It takes two to Tango."  We both made mistakes and here we are.

So now let's deal with how it made me feel.  Last Friday was one of the hardest and most rewarding days of my life.  Although we have been separated for over a year and I knew the final divorce decree was coming, I still didn't really believe it.  So when the pressure of the week was over, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I realized that I gave my word to my God and to that lady and I didn't keep it.  I hope you cannot imagine the deep pain I felt.  For a little while, I felt like a complete failure.  What things in your life have caused you to feel this way?  Was it a relationship that ended badly?  Was it a failure at your job or at school?  Regardless of where it comes from, it still really hurts.

When you get that sinking feeling in your gut because of something like this, doesn't it make you just want to run away and hide from everyone?  I mean who would want to be around someone that was a total failure like me?  I told myself that I was the biggest loser ever.  That I had wrecked my life, the life of my kids and my ex-wife.  I was well on my way to beating myself senseless because of my failure.  I threw a world class guilt party.  I was the guest of honor, the entire guest list, the guy who trashes the guest of honor and the guy who throws him in the dumpster at the end of the party.  I invited a very special guest to this party and He wouldn't come.  Can you imagine the audacity of being invited to the Destroy the Minion party and not coming?  That was certainly rude don't you think?  Do you know who the only guest that I actually invited was?  It was God.  I wanted him to condemn me just like I was doing to myself.  I wanted him to tell me that I was worthless and no good just like I was telling myself.

Now, I asked him to forgive me and I knew that he would at some point maybe a few months from now after I really got a thrashing.

When I finally listened to his still small voice, all I could feel was his love for me.  It is a love that I will never, ever deserve but it's there.  I can't escape it.  Do you know when he actually forgave me for my greatest failure?  When did He finally forgive me for breaking a covenant that I made in front of Him?  The instant I asked for it.  I didn't have to wait three weeks.  It was instantaneous.  He knew before the foundation of the world that I would make mistakes and he forgave me as soon as I asked.  That is the reason Jesus shed his blood on the cross.  It was to erase my sin.  If I asked God to forgive me now, he wouldn't know what I was talking about because He is a forgive and forget God.  He doesn't hold these things against me.  Guess what, when you ask Him for forgiveness, He does the same thing toward you.  He loves you unconditionally, no matter what, all the time, forever and ever with every fibre of His being.  He only wants good things for your life and He can take our bad mistakes and turn them into something good.  He doesn't want the bad mistakes because He hates to see us in the pain that they cause but He has a million ways to make things OK.

Back to the Guilt Party - It's fine that God forgave me but I am still at this party.  After all, if he won't have the decency to show up, I will do his job for him.  I will beat myself silly.  I can call myself all kinds of ugly names.  I mean I know all my deepest, darkest secrets and who better than me to dredge them all up and use them against me now.  Here is my major problem with this.  If God won't condemn me and trash me out, what right do I have to do it.  If he is willing to extend forgiveness to me what right do I have to keep holding the grudge against myself?  So here's what I did.  At 4:24 on Friday, July 29, 2011, I forgave myself.  When it happened, it was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders.  I felt so light and good.  I felt like it was OK for me to be happy again.  All of the sudden the world turned right side up.  God totally wrecked my party and I am so glad He did.

Have you ever felt this way?  I have watched many people do this to themselves so I know that I am not alone.  I think most of us have.  What are you refusing to forgive yourself for?  If someone who did you wrong came to you with an honest and sincere repentance on their face and asked you to forgive them for something they did wrong, would you do it?  I think probably you would.  So why can't you forgive yourself?  If you ask God for forgiveness he gives it to you instantly.  All I am asking is for you to extend the same grace to yourself that he did.  I know this is a process and I want to encourage you to keep at it.

Well friends, I intended this blog to talk about my greatest failure which it did but I can honestly say that I have blogged myself happy again.

And that's another Opinion of His Minion

About the Minion

A couple of days ago, I posted on FaceBook and asked for you to give me some suggestions for Opinions.  Well, most of you asked personal questions about me, about what I like or don't like.  So, I am going to take a few minutes and tell you a little about me.  There are a few conditions though:

1.  Since I am telling you about me, I want to know more about you.  Sound off and give me your opinions on these things.
2.  There are some things you asked about that are more serious topics so I will save those for separate Opinions.
3.  As I am sure most of you know, I am just a normal guy and not associated with the movie.  These are just the things at I like personally.

So without further delay, let's get to it.

1.  MIG - Favorite Food? - I like all kinds of food now but my all time favorite is pepperoni pizza.

2.  HBR - Drama - I will do another Opinion dealing with how to handle real life drama at some point.  I am not big on drama in my personal life although I get plenty of it.  In the movies, I am not a real big fan of dramas either.  However, a friend of mine "made" me watch a movie called, "The Notebook."  I have to say, that was one of the best movies I have ever watched.  I am a sucker for romances and this was one of the best I have ever seen.

3.  TD - Movies and Music - Well, TD, I like all kinds of movies.  Mostly I prefer comedies or romantic comedies because I very much like to laugh and I am a sucker for a happy ending.  I also like to see the girl and the guy end up together at the end.  I don't like movies that don't have happy endings.  Why?  Because if I want an unhappy ending, I will watch the local news where there are plenty of not nice stories.  Occasionally I like to watch science fiction if it is about outer space and I like action adventure movies.  (After all, I am a guy.)  Because I have kids, I watch a lot of Disney/Pixar movies (Believe it or not, I have not seen all of Despicable Me).  I don't like horror movies at all.  I was always afraid of them as a little kid and decided I didn't like those.

3a.  TD - Music - I like many types of music.  I like country music (I am a Texan) and I like Christian music.  I enjoy listening to classical, pop, and some "old" rock.  You know, the stuff from the 1980s.  I am not a big fan of rap but I do have a couple of songs on my Ipod.

4.  IA - Comedy - This is perhaps my all time favorite movie type of entertainment.  When we laugh, something happens inside us that helps us feel better and I am all for anything like that.

5.  DV - Please don't get mad but I haven't seen the Harry Potter movie so I really don't know anything about it.  I love the author's story though.  It's quite inspiring.

6.  ED - Pie vs. Cake - Well let me say, I use to weigh 350 pounds so I like pie and cake both.  I would have to say that my favorite is pecan pie.  My grandmother makes the best homemade pecan pie I have ever eaten and I guess I have always been a little partial.  For cake, lemon cake with thick lemon icing is my favorite.

7.  SAT - Pepsi vs. Coke - Good question.  Like I said earlier, I used to weigh 350 pounds so I only drink diet cokes (I know diet cokes are bad for you or at least that is what a good friend keeps telling me).  That said, I always thought that diet Coke had a funny after taste so I would have to say diet Pepsi.  I do like Coke Zero though.

8.  BV - Apple vs Banana - I like apples (if you are old enough to get the Goodwill Hunting reference then its OK to laugh) but I prefer bananas.  I especially like to take a banana and mix it with peanut butter and make a sandwich.

9.  CO - friendships vs. family relationships - I think this is an excellent topic and I will talk about it separately.

10.  LB - Briefs or boxers - This one is way too embarrassing for me to answer.  I am glad you can't see how badly I am blushing.

11.  AG - A butler vs. a nanny - I have never had either one so I guess I can't really decide.  Do you have them and if so, what would you pick?

12.  GR - Pineapples or peaches - Again, I like both but my favorite is probably peaches especially when they are used to make peach cobbler.

13.  WN - Family Guy or Southpark - I really don't watch too much TV.  As a matter of fact, the only shows I really followed over the last several years were Battlestar Galactica and Smallville.  Now that those are off the air, I don't watch much.  That said, I have never seen a full episode of either Family Guy or Southpark so I don't know.

14.  DM - bathroom humor - OK I know that at my age I shouldn't laugh at this stuff and for the most part I really don't but occasionally something funny happens that makes me laugh.  I can think of one story about something my daughter said regarding this topic that still makes me laugh.  I really don't know why.

15.  MH and CO - Pandora's box - Again MH and CO bring up an excellent point that I will try to address in another post.



17.  CLUA - Ice Cream - I guess I gave this one away already.  Yes, I love ice cream.  My favorite flavor is butter pecan because that is what my granddad used to love.  I like almost every flavor.  When I was really big, I could eat a gallon of ice cream in two days.

AP - Cupcakes - Yes, I like cup cakes.  My favorites have that thick icing.  I think it's called butter cream icing.  Whatever it is, yes it is very good.

Well everyone, I think I have addressed all of the questions you asked on FaceBook.  If you want me to answer any more, please send them in and I will do my best.

Thank you all for giving me a chance to show you a little of what is in my box.  This has been really fun and I enjoyed writing it.  The funny thing is you made me stop and think about myself in a fun way.  I don't think I have done that in years!

And that's several Opinions of the Minion