You Gotta Be You

Hello Everyone,

It's been on my heart to start writing again so here goes.  Today I want to talk about being true to yourself.  Have you ever been in a place were someone says or does something that you don't agree with?  Maybe you see someone at school bullying someone or saying something bad about someone.  I have found myself listening to people with views that differ from what I truly believe.  I've tried to reconcile some of those opinions and beliefs and tried to "go along" with them in my spirit but it never felt right.

Here's the thing.  I never felt peace until I finally decided that no matter who I am around or what they say, I'm going to be true to what I believe.  I'm going to stand up for what I believe is right regardless of whether it's popular or not.  It may seem cool if you are part of the in crowd at school and they want to make fun of someone but it's not.  It may seem cool to talk about someone behind their back but it's not.  It may seem cool to agree with the "new age" standards that many people in the world want to set but it's not.

What standards am I talking about?  Well that's a question that I will leave to you.  I will tell you this.  If you really don't know how you feel about any particular issue, pick up your Bible and get God's opinion on the subject.  While it may not be the most popular, it will definitely be the right one.

Before I finish, I want to say that it's not always OK to run around spouting your opinion to anyone and everyone.  If you feel inclined to tell every person you meet what you feel or your opinion, that isn't right either.  If someone has a different opinion that you, it's OK.  What's not OK is for you to change your opinion on any subject just to try to fit in with the crowd.

While it's a little short and sweet, that's the Opinion of the Minion.

Random Acts and Bank Accounts

Random acts, we've all seen them on the news.  Someone gets mad at someone else in traffic and communicates something ugly.  Someone else comes home from a bad day at work and yells at their kids.  Someone else gets really upset and punches someone out.  This list could go on and on.  So what do they have to do with bank accounts you might ask?


Well I am not talking about the bank account you have at Bank of America or Citibank.  I'm talking about people.  Did you know people are like bank accounts.  Every time you do something negative to them, their emotional account gets lower.  Every time you do something positive to someone, it goes up. 


Let me try to illustrate this.  Last week when I went to pick up three of our five kids, our youngest daughter was having a fit.  She was going to get to go where we were because she was sick and it wasn't a good idea.  Now she is 9 years old but was acting more like 9 months and having a toddler fit.  This particular day, I did not have a great day at work.  To top it all off, I was late to get the other two boys to swim practice.  So what did I do?  I did the "natural" thing to do - I lost my temper.  Now I don't really have a bad temper but I did get really mad (for me) at my daughter.  I was so mad, I was raising my voice at her and she was yelling at me. 


It ended with me spanking her and her still throwing a fit.  At one point, she said some really mean things to me.  Because I am her dad and she is a child, the things she said didn't really bother me.  After all, she is only nine.  Her behavior was in appropriate so I corrected it but what if she was 20 years older and said she hated me?  It could really hurt my feelings and damage my self esteem.  Now this wasn't premeditated, it was a random act that could have really drained my emotional bank account.


Let me tell you another random story.  Most of you know that I am from Texas and I still believe in saying ma'am and sir.  I think it's polite and I like it.  It's a way for me to show someone respect.  Now the other day, I was in a Starbucks in a different state (if you know me that's a shock right?).  The person behind the counter asked me a question and I said, "Yes ma'am."  However for a split second, I was mortified because there was a distinct possibility that I just said yes ma'am to a guy.  It would have been a totally insulting thing to do.  Fortunately, it turned out to be a girl so I was safe.  Again a random act but it could have definitely hurt some one's feelings.  That could have definitely drained that person's emotional account.


Up to this point, everything I have discussed centers around not hurting someone and draining their account.  I suppose I could stop right now and say that it's best to be careful that we don't hurt other people and that is certainly true.


But I want to take a minute and talk about the other side of the ledger.  If you take $100 to your bank and deposit in your savings account what happens?  Your account balance goes up right?  So what if we took that same approach and started adding to other people's emotional accounts instead.  When was the last time you walked up to a total stranger and given them a compliment?  Are you too shy for that?  Well let me ask you this.  How would it make you feel if someone in line at Starbucks that you didn't know (assuming you are a lady) that you really looked nice in the dress you were wearing?  How would it make you feel?  How about if you told someone you work with thank you for doing a good job on something?  It's going to make their account balances go up.


So let me encourage you in this today.  Try to find someone and give them a random act of kindness.  Be careful though.  Because whatever you do to someone, it will be done to you.  If you start giving out random acts of kindness, sooner or later, they are going to start coming back to you!


That's another Opinion of the Minion

Holding Grudges

Hi Everyone,

Someone who follows me on Facebook, NP, asked me to write about holding grudges so here's my take.

We've all been there.  There's that one person who has really done something wrong to us and we want to get back at them so bad we can taste it.  We dream of all the witty things we would say or how we would act given the chance and we think about how good it would feel to finally let that person have it.  I mean we deserve to get even with someone if they have done something wrong to us.  If you are a Christian you have to turn the other cheek once but after that you are out of cheeks and it's time for payback.  Now many times we don't pay the other person back we just think about it.

But even when we do pay them back, we often feel worse for what we did to them than we did before we did it.  One time I was in a movie theater with my brother and his wife.  We were in line to get popcorn and all the things you need to see a movie and there was this guy who said that my sister-in-law didn't pay for her hot dog when I knew she did.  I don't remember how it started but he said something that was kind of insulting and I didn't wait to hold a grudge, I let him have it right there.  I said some really mean stuff that cut him down to size.  Then we went into the movie theater and I felt so terribly awful for saying the things I said.  See my mom always told me that two wrongs don't make a right.  So what did I do?  I went back and found the kid and apologized profusely for my words.

So now let's deal with what happens when we hold grudges?  First of all, the real person it hurts is us.  Grudges don't normally hurt the other person because they normally don't even know about them.  But what they do to our insides is pretty bad.  They make us feel all sorts of negative emotions that really can do us harm.  If we are not careful, we can spend a lot of time mediating on all the negative stuff which is really bad for us.  

But also did you know that when we hold things against other people that it will hinder our prayers to God.  The bible tells us to forgive others so God can forgive us.  That's pretty heavy stuff.  So I can hear some of you saying, "That all sounds good but I've tried everything and I just can't let go of this grudge."  Well that's not true.  Did you know that there is a lot of power in the words we say.  When we go around saying things like I can't let go, we only make it harder to actually let go.

The answer to this lies in that hole under our mouth.  If you want to let go of a grudge, make a conscious faith decision to let go.  Then say out of your mouth, "I let go of that grudge that I have against so and so."  At that point, it's a done deal.  So what do you do three minutes later when that negative feeling starts coming up?  You say to it, "Nope I have already let go of the grudge and forgiven that person."  If you keep saying that, eventually it will become a reality in your life and you can finally be free of the grudge.  Remember, if you are a Christian, you got saved by faith.  You can let go of a grudge by faith as well.  When you do, God will help you let go.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Judgments

Hello everyone,

Today I want to talk about judgments.  Are they good or are they bad?  Once I had someone tell me that we should never judge anything because judgments were bad.  I responded that it seemed that we were judging judgments and that seemed bad too.  Obviously this circular thought made my head spin.  Today I was sitting at lunch with a couple of friends of mine and this subject came up again.  We should never judge people right?  Doesn't the bible tell us that we should not judge others?  Actually, that is correct.  The bible does say in Matthew 7:1 that we are to judge not lest we be judged.

So what does this mean?  Should we judge anything at all after reading this verse?  My friend at lunch today said that for every scripture in the bible, you can find some other scripture that contradicts it.  I don't think this is totally true.  I do very much believe that for every scripture in the bible we can find another one that seems to contradict it but I don't think the bible contradicts itself.  God's not schizophrenic.  He knows what He's doing when he rights something.  My friends and I were talking about a highly debated subject in Christian circles and we were talking about someone that we both knew who was connected to the subject.  My friend stated that he didn't judge this person we both know and I think that's right.  I don't judge him either.

After all, most of us who call ourselves Christians are known for being judgmental of others while not judging ourselves very well.  We seem to want to judge others in strict accordance with their actions while we want others to judge us through the eyes of grace.  In other words, we want to judge others of their sins but we don't want to deal with our own sins.  So we need to quit judging other people right?

The answer to that question is yes.  But let's look at judgments in general for a second.  I don't believe that all judgments are bad.  I think we have to take a look at our own lives and judge our own actions.  One of my friends at lunch today brought up the part of the bible where it says that we shouldn't go around trying to take the speck out of our brother's eye while we have a plank in our own and that's true but if you read the rest of that passage it says to take the plank out of your eye so you can see clearly how to take the speck out of your brothers.

Here's where I'm really going with this.  While I don't believe that we should judge other people, I do think we need to have our own sense of what is right and wrong.  Sin is sin.  I don't have to judge or define it, the Bible does that on it's own.  If someone's actions are wrong, it's OK to internally know that their actions are wrong.  But to look at that same person and say they are a bad person isn't OK.  The point I'm trying to make is that while I don't think we should judge anyone or exclude them from church for something they do that is wrong, I do think that we can acknowledge TO OURSELVES, not to them, that what they are doing isn't right.  That doesn't make them a bad person, it doesn't condemn them to hell, it shouldn't even kick them out of the church but I am tired of hearing people white wash things that God clearly says is wrong.

So if you see someone doing something that the Bible defines as sin, don't judge them personally and the vast majority of the time it's not even your place to tell them what they are doing is wrong.  But do notice that their actions don't line up with God's instructions.  Then, without looking down at them or judging them personally, take a look at yourself and see what actions in your own life are not measuring up to God's instructions.  Ask God to help you be a better Christian.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Letting Go

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post in a long time and for that I apologize again.  I know I need to write more and I hope to in the future.

Today's post is about letting go.  It's a message that has come to me from several different places in the last week which usually means the Lord is trying to tell me something.  I want to start with an illustration from a very good friend of mine, CS.

He recently told me about something that happened to him.  He was visiting with one of his closest friends when several of his friend's family showed up and had a lot of negative things to say about C.  They were very bitter about some "perceived" wrong that he did to them.  Now from our discussions, I don't think he really did anything wrong to them but this perceived transgression was really bothering several of them.  Here's the kicker.  This happened over a decade ago.  They have been harboring this grudge for a long time and guess who wasn't bothered about any of it until recently? - CS.  He didn't even know it was out there.  Pretty crazy stuff.  What's my point?  If you harbor a grudge against someone the only person you are really hurting is yourself.

I think that's a good point but I want to talk for a minute about the definition of letting go that the Lord keeps bringing to my heart.  I have to let go of the past.  In my current life, I don't have as many "things" as I once did.  I don't live in as nice a house as I used to and as a matter of fact, my ex-wife still lives in the nice house where I used to live.  I also don't have a boat like I used to.  And here's something else from my past that I don't like - I can't run as fast or as far as I could five years ago.

I've noticed lately that I have spent some time regretting not having the "things" that I used to enjoy.  What makes it worse is I am facing a couple of struggles.  Lately, it's been easy to be frustrated about the past and not really notice the great things that are going on around me.  So the Lord finally dealt with me to let go of the old house and let go of the boat.  Part of the problem of remembering the "good old days" is that they really weren't all that good.  I was just remembering the best parts of the "old days" and forgetting all the hard stuff that made them not so good at the time.  Another part of the problem is that while I was focusing on how things were, I forgot to focus on the good plan that God has for my future.  I'm on the verge of a couple of very significant breakthroughs in area's of my life that will put my family and I in the best financial place I have ever seen.

This year one of my businesses suffered a pretty big setback but it's still going strong and looks like there are opportunities to grow back some of what we lost.  Another of my businesses is on the verge of taking off in a way I would never have seen back in the good old days.  So what the Lord was finally saying to me is that at this stage of my life it's time for a new beginning not a being bogged down in trying to my recollection of the good old days.  But in order to move higher, I have to let go of some of the things I have held as important.

Something else I noticed was that I was holding on to feeling guilty about some bad choices I have made.  The worst part about that is I can't change any of them.  I can make choices about my future.

So I want to encourage you.  If your are holding on to things that are holding you down, it's time to let go and move up.  It's time for you to move out of your past and move into your future.  Maybe the devil has told you that because of something you did wrong it your past, that your life can't be as great as you would like.  That's just simply a lie.  Did you know that after the prodigal son came home from wasting all the money his father gave him that his father not only took him back but blessed him with fine clothes and a big feast.  God has a great plan for your life and nothing in your past can stop you and God from achieving a bright future. So let go and get going!!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Consistence

OK today I want to talk about consistence.  That's a good word even though it can be a hard one.  I heard a preacher named Gloria Copeland say that God told her that in consistency lies the power.  I think this is such a true statement.

As many of you may know I went to law school and have my license so I am a lawyer in Texas even though I don't practice law very much.  Now when I went to law school, I was determined to give it my best shot and whether or not I failed, I was going to try hard and I was very successful.   Right after I realized I was going to do fine in law school, my goal changed to becoming a lawyer.  I wanted to try cases like Perry Mason (He was a lawyer on an old TV show and I think he won ever case except for a couple.).  I was determined that I was going to be the best trial lawyer ever.  Guess what.  After my first year of law school I was so high in my class I got asked to be on the law review which is a pretty prestigious deal.  I was doing great.  Now after that first year, what if I walked up to you and said, I'm through year one of school and I'm not a lawyer yet so I quit!!

You would have probably looked at me and said something like - Well you can't be a lawyer yet.  You haven't made it through the next two years of school and you have to take (and pass) the bar exam.  It's ridiculous for you to think you should be a lawyer yet.  Just hang in there and do what it takes to get to your goal.  You have to consistently chase it for a few more years before it gets there.  If I then said - That's it I don't care if I'm not supposed to be one yet, I quit anyway.  You would probably think something was wrong with me.  And you would be right.

But I have done this many times and I have seen other people do this more times than I can count.  No, I'm not talking about quitting law school but I have seen so many other people quit on their dreams before they ever had a chance to materialize.  The reason they quit was because they expected to reach their goal without doing what was necessary to get there.

Let me use another example that will bring this closer to home.  As many of you know, I used to weigh 350 pounds.  What if I tried to diet for two weeks and got frustrated because I hadn't lost all the weight I thought I should and I quit?  Let me see a show of hands from anyone who has ever tried to lose weight and quit your diet when you didn't see immediate results.  OK put your hand down, I can't count all the hands!  I did it myself more than once.  See for me to lose the weight I had to consistently eat the right things and exercise over 14 months to get where I wanted to be.

But that's not the only place it can effect you.  How many of you were believing to get out of debt and haven't?  Well don't quit.  If you will consistently spend less money than you make, you will come out of debt.  How many of you have pursued a dream to be a writer or an engineer or a singer or something else?  Well don't quit!!!  If you will keep pursuing your dream, you can achieve it.

I want to leave you with one thought that is a little harder than the ones above.  How many of you started believing God for something and you haven't seen it yet?  Maybe you are believing for a loved one to be saved or someone to be healed.  Maybe you are believing God to heal your marriage or something else.  Maybe the situation looks pretty bad right now and you don't see how God is going to fix your problem.  Maybe you wonder if He even wants to do it.  Well let me tell you that God does want to fix your problems but He needs you to have faith and the right actions to go with it.  He needs you to be consistent with doing them and He will see you through!!

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Sitting at Starbucks

Tonight I am sitting outside of Starbucks in Fort Worth.  My friends who know me personally would be shocked that I am here (not really - I come to Starbucks a couple of times a day for Earl Grey tea).  As I sit here tonight, the weather is beautiful.  It's in the mid 70s and we got a little rain earlier.  People are walking around and talking and generally enjoying the night.  So tonight I want to talk about love.

I harp on this subject a lot because I see so much hatred in the world.  Tonight, everyone around me seems to be having a good time but we all know that hate is around here somewhere.  Now my girlfriend D and I had a discussion last night about politics and some of the more hot topic issues that always seem to come up.  Now as I said in one of my very first blogs, I know that there are definitely issues that need to be addressed and they are serious.  Whether or not you are for or against same sex marriages or abortion or flag burning or you fill in the blank.  I want to challenge you to love people.  I sat at lunch with my good friend J to day and this is one of the things he and I discussed.  Not love specifically but allowing others to have a different opinion and still being able to love and appreciate the person.

Regardless of whether you are a die hard Republican or die hard Democrat, God calls us to love people.  Did you know that Jesus died on the cross for your sins and yet He gives each of us the free will to go to Hell if that's what we chose?  Guess what, He will love you all the way there.  He will hate that you chose to go but He will love you and respect your decision and opinion on the subject.  Did you know that when they nailed Him to that cross He said, forgive them Father for they no not what they do.  He could have called 10,000 angels to get him off that cross and destroy the world but He chose not to do it.  He chose to love those who were putting Him to death.

Now I know a lot of us would like to walk around in the same power that Jesus walked the earth.  I think the reason that it doesn't happen is that we wouldn't say forgive them.  We would call the 10,000 angels to wipe out anyone who doesn't agree with our position, political party or choice of snow cone flavor.  Folks, this isn't the right way to run a railroad.

Now I am not saying that you shouldn't have an opinion and I do believe that you should stand up for who you are.  Guess what I have seen both sides of the isle work to run the other one over.  What I am telling you is stop the hate.  If you can't express your opinion in love, then don't express it until you can.   Quit making fun of or speaking badly of people who don't share the same opinion as you and start walking in love.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

One Degree

Today I want to talk about direction and goals.  First of all, is it important to have goals?  Well for some it may not be.  I know some people who's personalities really don't lend themselves to concrete goals.  They meander through life and enjoy it.  For them it is a peaceful way to live and goals really mess things up.  For me, that would be a difficult way to live but I must admit that there are days when I envy them.  I am not a hard core goal nut who has to have a goal for everything in life (at least I don't think I am) but I do think that goals are important.

After all, if you don't know where you are going, how will you know when you get there right?  That's where I think goals are important.  For many of you who read this blog, your goal might be to graduate high school or college.  You may have never thought of it that way but if you are in high school, your goal is definitely to get out right?

Well after we get out of college goals can be a little more vague.  For most, the goal is to get married, raise a family, provide for retirement, etc.  But I know so many people who really don't have any plan for their lives and after we are adults, I think that is not healthy.  Let's say your goal is to get out of debt.  What is the plan?  How are you going to cut spending or increase your income?  Is that plan realistic.  Let me take you back a couple of years to when I first really started financial goals.  Back then, I used budgets to justify going further into debt.  Harry Potter movies were more realistic than my budgets.  So are your goals something you can measure?  Remember if you don't have a destination, how will you know when you get there?

Now I want to get to my point for this e-mail.  Sometimes we set goals for ourselves and we come up with good plans to get where we want to be.  For many of us, it is to be good parents and take care of our children.  For me, one of my biggest goals is to walk closer with God.  Now that goal is a great one but it is a little hard to measure.  When I was losing weight, I could step on a scale and the number it displayed would tell me if I was progressing toward my goal or not.  But with my walk with God, I didn't have as concrete or measurable goal.

But here is what I noticed recently.  I have drifted a little away from the Lord.  Now I didn't backslide to hell by any means and I didn't fall into sin or deny Christ or anything close to that.  However, I did notice I was not a peace.  I hit times that weren't as fun as they should be and I couldn't figure out why.  While this isn't the only reason for my frustration, it is an important one.  I knew I had to get back to a closer walk with the Lord.  As I made a fresh commitment to walk closer to Him, I noticed that I didn't have to turn and run back to where I last felt close.  See He followed me on my journey.  The Bible says He will never leave you nor forsake you and He didn't.  He was right there when I went looking for him.  It was great and definitely refreshing.

One of the big questions in my mind was how did I get to this place were I had lost my peace.  I didn't hurt anyone; cuss anyone; do wrong that I knew of so what happened.  The answer is I got one degree off course.  I didn't take His presence seriously enough in my day to day life.  I quit praying as much as I should.  I quit reading His word and my daily devotional with as much attention as I should.  The next thing I knew I was out of peace.  Did you know that if an airplane starts flying from Fort Worth to Paris and it is only one degree off course it can wind up miles and miles from it's goal?  Well that's exactly what I think happened to me.

So let me leave you with this.  What are your goals in life?  Have you ever woken up to find yourself way off course?  If so, all you have to do is rededicate to your goals and set your course straight.  Then take time regularly to check and see if you are still headed where you want to go.  If you aren't simply fix the course.  Many of you may not be where you want to be with Christ at this particular moment.  If that's so, getting back to where you need to be with him is easy because even if you quit paying attention to Him, He never left your side.  If that's you, would you pray this simple prayer.  "Father, please forgive me.  I strayed from my course with you.  Please help me get back into Your perfect will for my life."  If you prayed that prayer, then you are back at the right place with God.  Now search His will out for your life and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Conflict

Today I want to talk about something that is a very tough subject and honestly I don't know if I have ever seen people do this right.  I want to talk about how we solve problems between people.  Now I don't think that we can really go around solving other people's problems.  I know several people who have tried unsuccessfully to do that for years.  But what I want to talk about today is a great personal triumph for me.

Think with me for a minute about learning how to drive a car.  If you had never done that before and had never even seen a car, do you think you would be capable of driving one?  Let's say you managed to get the car started and drive it.  Since you don't know the traffic laws, there is a very good chance that you will wreck that car and quite possibly get someone else hurt right?  Well that's the way I think I have been with conflict resolution for most of my life.

If you are married or in a serious relationship, you are going to have conflict between the two people in the relationship.  If you aren't, you are going to have conflict between yourself and your friends and all sorts of other people.  Now for me, resolving conflict with friends has always been fairly easy but for years I have had conflicts with people who are close to me and had no idea how to resolve it correctly.  As I have said before, for a long time I simply turned my emotions off.  That wasn't the best thing but it made conflict resolution easy.  How?  Well, most of the time I would other people simply run over me. Whenever there was a conflict I was normally the one to try to keep the peace.  I read in the bible that blessed are the peacemakers and I tried to be a peacemaker.  The problem was, many of the people I knew only wanted peace on their terms.

That typically didn't work out well for me because I just gave in.  Was there really conflict resolution?  No because I just bottled up all the hurt and never found a balanced, healthy way to resolve it.  Part of my problem was having to deal with people who didn't know how to resolve it either.  Most of them learned that the way to resolve conflict was to get mad and yell.  If you show enough anger then the other side will back down and the conflict is resolved right?  In the short term, that is true but it is very damaging to a relationship.  So that way doesn't work either.

About a year and a half ago, the Lord really opened my eyes to my emotions and how they work.  Since then, I have felt a lot of things.  Most of them are new.  Many feel good but many do not.  This brought a change in the way I decided to resolve things.  If I didn't get a good solution to the problem and one that was more on my terms then I would simply cut the offending person out of my life.  I applied this to dating and I can tell you it didn't really work either.  What I was saying then was unless you are perfect, I won't be around you because if you mess up once, you must be like the other people I have dealt with who don't know how to do this any better than I do.  Guess what, that isn't a winning strategy either.

So why am I so excited?  Well I recently dealt with a person over a particular issue.  On the issue in question, the other person did something that aggravated me a little.  Now fortunately, I read a book earlier that day discussing conflicts and how we resolve them.  Some people believe that how you resolve conflict will indicate how long you stay in relationship with someone.  If you don't do it well, that relationship won't last.  Well in this particular case, I ran a quick errand to give myself a little breathing room to think through things a little.  When I did, here is what I discovered.  This issue did irritate me and it would be unhealthy for me ignore the emotion.  However, in the grand scheme of life, it really wasn't that big a deal.

The other person in this situation could sense that I was offended and thus became a little defensive.  I was able to share how I felt.  It didn't take long and as soon as I shared my feelings and knew the other person generally cared about how I felt, all of my aggravation over the situation left.  I felt much better.  At the end of the discussion this person felt better too.  The funny part is that I don't know if the other person has had much success in life resolving personal conflict either because I sensed this person was waiting for me to attack.  When I didn't it seemed like it was a little shocking to that person as well.  Did it feel great?  Yes!  I finally let something bother me, expressed my emotions in a calm and respectful manner and then the situation was resolved.

So what did I learn?  When you have a problem with someone, you need to acknowledge that their is a problem.  Don't stuff it down but don't react out of anger either.  Take a few minutes to cool off and get your head under control.  After that, take the time to express yourself in a respectful way to the other person.  After that, you will feel better.  Now let me also say that it certainly helped that I knew the other person loved and cared about me.  This particular person is also very level headed and very capable of rationally discussing the situation which was a big plus.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Box

Hello everyone,

Today I reposted what I believe to be the most significant thing I have ever said.  The post is called, the Box.  Recently my girlfriend and I were discussing homosexuality and I will not discuss whether it is right or wrong.  You have a bible, find out for yourself.  But I do want to stress that hate for people of that lifestyle is totally wrong.  See our job isn't to judge it's to love.  If you look at thing's through the lense of the Box, it will change the way you look at people.  So, here's the Box.




I have given this a lot a of thought and I believe that the Lord showed me something that changed the way I view people.

You see, when God creates a person he gives them abilities, passions, desires, talents and all sorts of wonderful attributes that we seldom ever see. Then he takes all these things and puts them in a box with silver wrapping paper and very pretty red ribbon tied in a bow around it. He calls the box - You. It is a present to the world. When I saw this for the first time, I looked around at all the people walking by and said to myself, "Merry Christmas!" because all I could see were beautiful boxes waiting to be opened.

The problem is many people don't even know what is in their own box much less have taken the time to look in someone elses box. This starts when we are in school. As we grow up, we learn all kinds of new things about ourselves: what we like, what we don't, the changes that our bodies go through, we learn things in school about the world and we learn about social interaction. But sometimes that social interaction teaches us that the stuff in our box isn't all that important.

Have you ever felt like the stuff inside you doesn't really matter? Can you look back to a point in your life where you were doing something you really enjoyed and someone else called it or you stupid or worthless?

When you pull the most precious parts of your life out of the box and let other people see them, it is scary because you are definitely vulnerable at that point. But know this, the Lord put all those wonderful things inside and they are of great price and value. Don't let someone cheapen what is so precious by their comments.

Everyday, I see people who are alive but aren't living. I think it is because they have told themselves that the treasures in their box aren't important or worth much so they don't do anything with them. They may not have done this openly but below the surface it happens. You have to know that if God took the time to create you and put all those treasures inside you, they are important both to him and to me.

When was the last time you looked in your box and pulled out something you truly enjoyed and used it? When was the last time you opened the box? When was the last time you were passionate about anything? Are you so caught up in the rat race that your box isn't important any more?

Here is another interesting question - When was the last time you opened up someone else's box to see who they really are and celebrate the gifts inside them? Do you always know what is wrong with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids, friends, parents, family, coworkers but never look inside the box for what is so awesome about them?

Husbands, what would happen if instead of criticizing your wife, the next time you saw her, you decided to look at something that was so precious to her, so beautiful, so tender, so amazing and something she loved about herself? What would happen if you nurtured that gift and encouraged it to grow? What would happen if, after you opened her box, she decided that your box was the most special one on earth and decided to touch the core of who you are? What if you both decided to go deep in your relationship?

Boyfriends, what if you looked at her and decided that you wanted more than just what was inside her clothes, you wanted what was inside her heart. Girlfriends, what if you decided that you wanted the same thing? What if you wanted to explore who they are and make them the best person they could be while they did the same thing to you? What if you looked at them and asked, "What can I give?" instead of "What can I get?"

Is this a little intense? Yes. Is it worth it if just one person decides to open their box or open someone elses? Yes. You see, I believe that I got to see a little glimpse of the creation through the creator's eyes when He showed me this. It was truly an eye opening experience and I can definitely say I will never be the same. I got to see how He looked at and longs for His creation to be all that we can be and how His love for us goes so deep His heart aches for us.

So I guess the real question is what is in your box? I want to know.

That's the Opinion of His Minion

Viva Las Vegas

Hi All,

Most of my posts have a message or some point that I try to illustrate.  And generally, I tell a story about something that happened in my life and what I learned from it.

Well today's lesson is going to be a little different.  I want to take a minute to talk about being grateful and thankful.  As I was sitting last night talking with my beautiful girlfriend, D, she said that she never wanted to take me for granted.  It was so sweet and beautiful and I said the same thing.  I am amazed at how quickly I can get used to things.

See when we first started dating, she would tell me sweet things like how nice a guy I was or how amazing I was and thanked me for something almost everyday.  Those sweet comments always touched my heart.  I noticed recently that I was not thankful in the same way.  Those comments use to make me blush and embarrass me a little even though they were always just between us.  She still makes those statements to me almost every day and she is such a blessing in my life.  We both have a deep appreciation for each other as well as a love that continues to deepen. 

So what does all this have to do with Las Vegas?  Well, I found another reason to be thankful.  This past week, I was in Las Vegas for a trade show for my company.  But I noticed that something was off when I got there.  I wasn't depressed or anything.  I just wasn't excited about being there.  I have been to Las Vegas at least 20 times in my career so I have seen a lot of the city.  In times past I always got excited about going out there even though I am not a big gambler, drinker or womanizer.  At first I thought I was just experiencing burn out on the city.

The morning after I got there, D sent me a text telling me to flee temptation from "sin" city.  Now she was just kidding and I know she trusted that I wouldn't do anything wrong and it was just a little funny quip between us and I love that about her.  My response to her was that I didn't need to resist temptation from sin city because the person I wanted to be with was back in Fort Worth (her).  This was why I was a little off when I got there.  For the first time in a long time, I wasn't running away from Fort Worth to get a break from my problems (we all have them right).  Now I love my children and I love being around them but for many years I was a very lonely guy.  I was around people and married but lonely at the same time.

But this trip to Las Vegas made me understand how much I genuinely love that woman and I was looking forward to getting home to be with her.  So let me say - Thank you D, for making my life so much fun and for loving me the way you do.  You are the most remarkable woman I have ever met and I am so grateful that you are in my life.  Life is definitely better with you in it!

So is there a moral to my post today?  Well I didn't think I had one until now.  What am I telling all of us today?  BE THANKFUL!  Yes, I know that we all face hard times but try to find something to be thankful for today.  I will cheer you up.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Feelings

Hello everyone.  Today I want to write an opinion on something I know very little about.  So read at your own risk!

Today I want to talk about feelings.  This has been a hard area of my life to deal with.  For years, I didn't want to feel anything because feelings brought with them a lot of hurt and not much joy.  Now I am a business man so I definitely look at things in terms of return on investment and to me, if I let my feelings out then the bad ones definitely outweighed the good ones so why bother.

But then about 18 months ago, through reading a book that a friend of mine asked me to read, all those bottled up feelings came out after 30+ years of holding most of them in.  Let me tell you it was an experience.  I cried for a long time.  Then I just hurt.  Then I was so overcome with emotions that I freaked out a friend of mine by asking her out.  It was quite a mess and I realized now that I liked part of it but I really didn't like another part of it.

I liked feeling things because I finally felt alive.  Yes, it is possible to go through life feeling down and depressed and still be successful on the outside.  I did that and there were times when I had some feeling but I kept them as muted as I possibly could.  Why, because the ups didn't justify the downs.  But I did like all those feelings because at least I was alive. 

Now I have heard people say that we can't trust our feelings and that was easy for me for years because I suppressed all of them I could suppress.  But that statement is actually the point of my writing today.  I finally realized that while I enjoy all these new feelings, I can't rely on my feelings alone to make decisions about my life.  That is probably a "duh" statement for most of you but for me it is a revelation.

There are times in our lives when we want something so bad on the inside that we will do almost anything to get it.  Have you ever wanted to go out with a girl or do something so that she will notice you?  I have.  As a matter of fact, let me tell you a funny story from my time at TCU.

See during my senior year, I had a girlfriend, A.  Now A was a very nice person and I wasn't.  I was very selfish and only wanted what was good for me without really giving any thought to what was good for her.  Eventually, she figured this out and decided it was time to move on.  But since I had never really had a serious girlfriend and wanted to keep one (I wasn't in love with her but I was in love with the idea of being in love.) I decided that I was going to do anything to get her back.

So one night, I went over to her dorm and called her.  A friend of hers was there and they came down to check me out.  I made up some stupid story of being hit in the head and faked a concussion.  Or at least I did my best to fake one.  I have never had one and didn't really know the symptoms of one at the time so I gave it my best guess.  Why?  For sympathy of course.  I guess I hoped that she would take me back.  Well ultimately she took me to my parent's house.  Now my dad who used to be an ambulance driver took one look at me and knew I was faking it.  Needless to say, I didn't get the girl back.

Why did I do such a stupid thing?  My emotions told me to.  Now just today, I realized while having emotions is great, I can't allow myself to be ruled by them

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Ask the Minion

Hello Everyone.

Last week, I asked you to post your questions on Facebook and I told you I would do my best to answer them.  Before I get to the questions, let me give you a couple of things.  First of all, I am not associated with the movie, Despicable Me so any questions regarding those minions, I will decline to answer.  Second, please remember that when I write these posts, they are just my opinions and what I believe the Lord shows me.  I do not have any type of degree or certification counseling so if you have a serious problem, please seek professional help as I don't want to lead you astray.

OK, let's get to the questions.

1.  MB - How do I get a guy like you?  Let me start by saying how flattered I am at the question.  While this may sound like false humility, I really don't consider myself all that special but I am a good guy.  So how do you get a good guy (someone better than me, I hope)?  My first thought is that you have to find one.  So when you are around boys or girls, ask yourself how they make you feel and why?  Are they good to you and do they treat you right?  Do they always strive to do the right thing (even if they aren't perfect)?  Do they make you feel special and are you compatible?  Is there any real attraction between the two of you?  If the answer to these questions is yes then you have found someone.

Now here's the hard part - How do you get them to like you?  The answer is - you can't.  Just be yourself, if they like you for you then great.  If not, then they really aren't the person for you.  If you have to change yourself to be someone else for them to like you, eventually you will go back to being your real self and then you have a problem or you will change so much that you won't like yourself.  So just be you.  Be bold enough to go say hello to them and talk to them and then see what happens.  MB, if you have more questions, please don't hesitate to ask and I will try to answer.

MP - What is the meaning of life?  According to Webster's dictionary one meaning is - the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.  If you mean philosophically, I really don't know.

TTS - Why is life so confusing when it gets hard?  There are a lot of reason for that but I think one thing that happens to me is when life gets hard my emotions tell me one thing and my head tells me something else.  When that happens, sometimes my heart is right, sometimes my head is right.  The only thing I can tell you is to take your decisions to God.  When you get peace from Him about the right decision, then go with it.  I will probably try to expand on this in another post.

JAE & AA - What's your favorite food? - That is a hard question and the answer changes based on the mood I am in at the time.  I like almost all kinds of food.  Over the course of my life, my absolute favorite has probably been pizza.

KL - Why does God allow awful things like abuse, especially child and domestic to occur? The Lord is supposed to be this all-knowing, all-loving, kind, caring God. Yet He lets his children suffer?  KL, I have struggled with this question for many years.  I mean, why did God let the serpent take the blessing in the garden of Eden anyway?  Part of the answer is that we are free will beings and we can choose what we do.  Thing about this - If you could make someone love you and you knew that the only reason they loved you is because you made them, would you make them love you?  I wouldn't because it wouldn't be real love.  I believe that God set a system in place and he expected us to follow that system.  As adults when we don't then there is the risk that we will get hurt.  Now let me say, I can feel pain from thinking about child abuse and I don't know why this happens.  It is so awful and so wrong.  I believe that God's hands are tied in certain places and sometimes he can't interfere but I really don't know why.  Now I can hear some of you saying that God is all powerful and he can do anything.  If that's the case, why did Jesus have to come die for my sins?  KL, I don't feel like I did a good job of answering this question but I hope this helps some.

PC - Who is better - Batman or Superman? - In my book, Superman is better.  Why because he always stood for truth, justice and the American way plus he could fly and was super strong.

FB

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Leadership

Today I want to talk about leadership. 

The thing that really annoys me about this topic is I hear people talk about how to be a leader all the time.  As a matter of fact, four or five years ago, that was the "in" thing to talk about.  People wrote books about it, gave classes about it and in general told you everything you needed to know to become one.

But I really struggled watching people who were leaders that didn't have any people following them.  I saw several people who could tell you what to do and what not to do.  They were "in the know" about all sorts of topics.  In fact, if you needed help with a situation, just bring it up around them and they wouldn't even wait for you to ask, they would just "lead" you out with a lot of advice you didn't request.  Have you ever met people like that?

Well now I want to take a swing at how to be a leader.  Let's start with a good definition.  As I was working out this morning, I was reading a book by Dick Marcinko.  Dick was the leader of a group of Navy Seals in the 1980s and he has written several books about his team.  Now these books are not about his actual team, they are fiction and I would classify them as mental candy.  I don't know that the really expand my mind from reading them.  In the book I am reading now, Mr. Marcinko gave the perfect definition of leadership in two words - follow me.

See I think that is what real leadership is all about.  I am learning as I continue to grow in the places where the Lord put me in a leadership role that this is the crux of how to lead.  In my particular position, I tried to just let things evolve on their own and I basically just sat back and watched a lot of things grow on their own.  I was fortunate that the Lord blessed the work and it did grow but now I understand that I need to lead from the front and provide the vision. 

When I think of leadership, I think of two of my closest friends JC and BL.  They both embody the principal that I am discussing today.  Now let me tell you a couple of things that I learned from both of them while I was at TCU.  First of all, while I was learning these principals from them, I didn't always like them.  They were demanding and they were normally not very tactful in the way they approached getting us to follow them.  But I would have done anything either of them asked because of the way they led. 

See, I followed them.  Why because they were doing what they wanted me to do and they were doing it to such a high level that they did it better than everyone else.  Their challenge was always come up here where I already am and let's get better together.  See, if I wanted their leadership, I only needed to look in front of me because that's where they were.

These two guys embodied what Dick Marcinko said - follow me.  So what am I trying to say today?  If you want people to follow you just start doing what you want people to do.  Quit trying to tell everyone else how they should do something and just live your life as an example of how it should be done.  That's true leadership.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion.

Be Where You Are

Today I want to talk about being where you are.  That sounds pretty redundant right?  Well the Lord really began to deal with me about this subject a few weeks ago.  As you all know I have this amazing woman in my life, D.  I love her a lot.  She's the right type of person for me because she's different than me in so many ways and I have learned so much from her.  We have had many conversations about this topic but she really brought it home to me a couple of weeks ago.  It was just a passing comment but sometimes the Lord will use those types of comments to speak to you and this was one of those times.

She is a first grade teacher.  Now I believe that God anoints preachers to preach but from what I have seen, I think teachers need more anointing than most preachers.  One day we were talking about school and she said it was a very demanding job because with twenty kids who are only six years old, she has to stay very focused on what is going on around her.  She said that is something she works on in her life - giving whatever you are doing 100% of your energy while you are doing it.  That was very interesting on a couple of levels. 

First of all, it gave me more insight into her as a person and I really enjoy getting to know her.  But it also made me examine my own behavior.  It made me ask the question - Am I giving what I am doing my full attention?

Now I have seen this picture for a long time in a different area of my life.  When I was married, I was not happy so I was always looking forward to the next thing.  I tried to look forward to going to play golf because playing golf was fun and it helped me cope with the unpleasant things going on around me.  It was sort of my way to escape from the real world.  But here's what I noticed.  When I got to the golf course, I would play a few holes and then I started looking forward to going out to dinner or the movies or something after our round of golf.  More importantly, I quit enjoying the round of golf and found my only enjoyment coming from looking forward to the next thing.

I lived that way for a long time.  So when I was with my friends, I was only partially with my friends because the other part of me was on to the next thing on my agenda.  That wasn't fair to anyone.  It certainly wasn't fair to my friends who were hanging out with me because they were giving me their full attention (at least as far as I could tell) but I wasn't doing the same thing.  But it also wasn't fair to me.  The people around me are all gifts from God and I wasn't enjoying the gifts that God put into my life.

Which brings me to another point.  I wasn't being fair to God.  He was placing all these great people and opportunities in front of me and I didn't enjoy them.  To make matters worse, I didn't appreciate them like I should so I didn't value them as high as I should.  That's terrible.  Now the reverse of this can also be true.  You can be so focused on some negative situation that it causes you to act the same way.

Now fast forward to the present.  While I don't really look forward like that anymore, there is another place that is just as bad.  I can be not totally present for no apparent reason.  A person that I work with brought that up to me yesterday.  He mentioned a specific incident where I was disconnected from a situation that I should have really paid attention.  A person needed me to be caring and considerate and I was mentally absent.  That is horrible and I have no excuse for my actions.  But it is something that I want to watch.

So what am I saying today?  Wherever you are, be there completely!  Thank you D for reminding me of this very important issue.  I love you.

That's another Opinion of the Minion 

Don't Bury Your Head in the Sand

OK, today I want to talk about something no one else but me may have ever done - burying my head in the sand when there was a problem.  Now I am sure that you have never done that but I have and it has caused some damage.  But a little more on that in a few minutes.

This is an issue that I think everyone deals with on some level.  We would all like for the issues and problems in our lives to go away.  No one really likes to deal with them because they are uncomfortable and sometimes the things we have to face cause us pain.  Wouldn't it be easier if we just ignored them?  I mean won't they go away on their own if we give them enough time?  In my limited 41 years on this earth I would have to say no.  Problems don't go away on their own.

Think about having a homework assignment that you don't really understand.  If you don't do it, you are guaranteed to get a zero right?  That grade will hurt.  How about adults.  What if you are overdrawn at the bank?  If you don't deal with that problem, you can cause more checks to bounce.  That in turn, can cause your electricity to be cut off, etc.  Now these types of problems are concrete and fairly easy to see.

But what about some problems that are not so easy.  How about the tension between you and a good friend?  I once knew of two friends who both thought the other person was upset with them.  I knew that this wasn't true but because neither of them decided to face the problem head on and call the other, the situation took months to resolve when it could have been over with a phone call.

Now let me put this a little closer to home.  One of my children has had a problem for several years now.  This problem is definitely fixable but for years I did nothing about it.  I was afraid to admit that one of my children was anything but perfect when in fact none of us is perfect.  So because I would not let anyone label my child and accurately identify this problem, it has grown worse over the years. 

It is a tough thing to swallow - Knowing that my child has needed help all these years and because I buried my head in the sand to the whole issue, he is behind on getting it.  That was something I never should have done.  I have been able to face other issues but fear kept me from handling this one.

I encourage you to examine your life and see if there are anythings you need to deal with and resolve.  If so, pray about how to handle the situation and take the appropriate steps to resolve it.  When you do that, you will feel a weight being lifted off your shoulder.  That weight is the stress those unresolved problems puts on your body.  Remember this, Jesus said in this life you will have trouble but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.  If Jesus had trouble in his life (and he had a lot) and he tells us that we will, then we will.  It's up to us to recognize the issues in our lives and deal with them.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Hard Times

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to talk about hard times.  What are they?  Are we supposed to have them?  How do we handle them?

Well, as I have mentioned several times before I didn't like dealing with my emotions so I stuffed them in a box.  In the same way I didn't like dealing with the thought of hard times in life.  I didn't like dealing with hard things either because guess what - They came with negative emotions and I really didn't like that.

So what are hard times?  Well, it's interesting that the definition changes based on your circumstances.  I have helped a couple of kids with homework in the last six months.  Now to them, they were in hard times.  The deadline to turn the homework in was rapidly approaching and there was a lot to do.  Also, because they had never done a couple of these projects, it was even more difficult because sometimes they were unsure of what to do.  Because I have had a lot of school and done a lot of projects (and because we were talking about sixth grade stuff) it didn't really bother me so I didn't consider the situation all that intense.

That makes sense right because I am comparing where I am at 40 years old with where sixth graders are.  But let me tell you this.  I have also noticed that there are certainly challenges that come with being a parent that seem very hard to me.  Now my girlfriend, D, who is an amazing parent has already been through some of what I am going through and while she encourages me and tells me that I am doing a great job, some of these things seem easier because she understands them already.

Of course there are other circumstances that most of us adults either have faced or face now like financial hard times or the loss of a relationship.  All these things hurt.

Now I am sure this is obvious to you but I really didn't understand that all of these things are normal and a part of life.  Even Jesus said, "In this life you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."  That was a revelation for me.  I hated conflict and trouble and did everything I could to avoid it.  I even buried my head in the sand a few times and tried to pretend that hard times didn't really exist.  I know you have never been as stupid as I was and I am glad. 

Very recently I went on a trip that was very hard for me.  The people I was with caused me a certain amount of challenges and I was definitely emotionally overcome.  Now nothing really bad happened but I didn't know how to handle several situations and there seemed to always be a situation to handle.  But, by God's grace, I was able to handle each one and with his help, I was told that I did a very good job.  So what do we do when hard times come?  The answer is pretty easy - Face the hard time and overcome it.  Like Jesus said, He has overcome the world. 

I heard someone say the definition of courageous is not that you are never scared.  The definition of being courageous is being afraid and doing what needs to be done anyway.  This week, I got an opportunity to face something that really had me worried.  Fortunately for me, the other person in this situation is amazing and we were able to work through what we needed to.  But one of the things that made me feel good about myself is that I didn't bury my head in the sand - I faced the hard time head on and with the Lord's help, we overcame it. 

Guess what - Every time you face something hard and overcome it, you grow.  So don't worry about hard times.  They will come.  But with God's help you can overcome everyone.  I will leave you with this - when you face a hard time and overcome it, the next time you see it, it won't seem very hard.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Old Friends

Today I want to discuss a subject that I have come to appreciate more in the last week.  I want to talk about friendship.  Before I get to my Opinion for this blog, I need to back up a little.

Not that long ago, a good friend of mine, A, went home to be with the Lord after a long fight with cancer.  Now A and I stayed in touch over the years but we didn't stay as close as we were growing up.  I met A when I was in the 7th grade and we are both 41 (A is very much alive, he just went to a place called Heaven).  I still have fond memories of playing football.  A played center and if I remember correctly, he was a starter on the 1st team (or A team) when we were in middle school.  We are a lot alike.  I can still see him wearing his 3/4 top Nike Monster cleats when we played ball.  Later we called him "Hair" because when we were in high school he had long hair.

I also have very fond memories of us playing hide and go seek when we were in middle school with a whole group of kids from our neighborhood.  When we played, our boundaries were several blocks in every direction and we had a lot of fun.  Now A wasn't the only kid I hung out with.  There was B.  He was the high school baseball stud pitcher when we were in school and interestingly enough, he was also very smart.  For a while B and I were best friends and we were inseparable.

There were other kids in the neighborhood too - B and his little brother A, B and his little brother C and  several others.  For the sake of time I will stop right there except to say that B and I went to see my friend A the other day.  It was a very hard time for both of us.

Now let me fast forward to watching my own kids.  Over the last week, I had the opportunity to watch my kids pretty closely and one thing I noticed was that a couple of them were not very well adjusted to playing with other kids.  Why?  Well, one answer is that they don't have very many kids around them to play with.  That small fact - having kids around to play with - was something I realized was a true blessing in my life and also something that I see missing in my kids lives.  I learned a lot last week.  I can't say it was an easy week but it was certainly rewarding.

So let me leave you with the two things I learned from this past week.  First of all, kids need to be around other kids.  So parents please find ways to help your kids socialize.  Second of all, grew to really appreciate all the great kids I grew up with.  A, you will be missed.  I love you and even though we didn't stay as close as either of us would like, I miss you.  Let me leave you with this - Appreciate your friends.  They are truly a gift from God.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Go To the Source

Hello Everyone,

I haven't posted in a long time and I apologize for that.  I made a comment several months ago about being bored and I have been busy since.

Over the last 18 hours I have been involved in a situation that prompted this post.  As the situation that I have watched would be extremely embarrassing to the people involved, I will not mention anything about this particular one.  I will say this though - I have no condemnation for anyone involved.  If you are reading this and you are involved, you know who you are.

So let me start with one simple question.  What do you do if you hear something bad about someone?  We all know people who like to gossip.  There are also people who tell you things just because they think you should know for some potential benefit to you - Read that just another excuse to gossip.  Well, here are my thoughts on what to do and not do.

1.  Don't go telling other people about a situation unless they need to be involved.  You don't need to tell your best friend (boys or girls) about something that you heard bad about someone else.  All you are doing is spreading the situation to more people and probably hurting some one's reputation in the process.  Did you know that the bible says that we are to love our neighbor like we love ourselves?  How do we do that?  Well one way we do that is by not running around telling people about all the bad things we have heard about other people.  See the bible also says love covers a lot of sins.  Now I am not telling you to keep your mouth shut if you know someone is in danger or has been abused.  In that case, go to someone who is in authority (your parents, a teacher you know or even the police if it is really serious) and tell them.  But your best girl friend or best buddy really doesn't need to know.

2.  Don't assume that just because you heard some rumor that it is true.  I believe it was in the 1950s when some guy on a radio in New York City started a rumor on the radio about alien invasions that caused a big panic.  It was just a joke but a lot of people got shook up over it.  Also, I remember when I was in high school and the boys started talking about sex.  I can tell you that 95% of what they said turned out to be untrue.  Be careful not to judge someone just because you heard a rumor about them.  That is a very dangerous thing to do and it can hurt people who don't deserve it.

3.  If it really doesn't concern you then just forget it and keep on moving.  Most of the time, when we hear things about our friends, we really don't need to know about it anyway.  If someone walks up to tell you something bad about your friend, you can choose not to listen at all.  After all, will it make you a better person to hear the rumor?  Will it help you be helpful to your friend?  Maybe but most of the time it won't.

4.  Lastly, if you must know something about the rumor or the story you were told, go to the source.  As many of you know, I have been divorced for about a year now.  Well, before I got divorced someone started a rumor that I was having an affair on my wife and it was completely untrue.  I never did anything like that.  This particular rumor got back to someone I am very close to and instead of spreading the rumor or calling someone else to verify what she heard (read that still just spreading the rumor), she called me.  It was a very loving act and I appreciate it to this day.  She will always have a special place in my heart.

So let me conclude with this.  Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will kill you.  Be careful what you say and hear about other people.  It is best just to let rumors drop and die when you hear them but if you must discuss it with someone, call the source and get it straight.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Fatherhood

OK, I probably should have posted this on Sunday in honor of Father's Day but life is busy and here it is Tuesday.  Today I want to talk about what being a father is about to me.  I think that the whole concept of fatherhood has lost itself somewhere in our society.  Realizing that the number of single parent moms is substantial, there are many kids who grow up without a strong father.

So what does a good father look like?  Well to start with, he needs to take responsibility for his life and his actions.  If you got her pregnant, it's your responsibility take care of the child.  It's your responsibility to train that child in the way he should live so that he will grow up to be a strong citizen and a good person.  Now most of you might think that my last couple of sentences are pointed at guys who get a girl pregnant and then don't marry her or provide for the child.  They certainly apply to that group but I am also talking about married couples and divorced couples as well.  It really doesn't make any difference how that precious child got her, just take responsibility for it and teach it.

Which leads me to my next point.  What should I teach my children?  In my life right now, I have three wonderful children plus two other children who I am around a lot.  So what am I teaching them?  Well yesterday my oldest son mowed the lawn and I paid him to do it.  Then I taught him about tithing.  Regularly we talk about God and how important he is to our life.  Did you know that Abraham was the father of Israel plus many other countries in the middle east?  Do you know why?  Because God knew that Abraham would teach his children about Him.  That's part of our job as dads.  Also dads, we need to know this.  Actions speak much louder than words.  If we tell our children one thing and then act in a different way, they are going to know that we don't believe our own words and they probably wont believe them either.

So after I teach them, what are some other things I should do?  I need to spend on them.  Now most of you might jump to spend money and I certainly tried to lead you that way.  Dad if you had that child, it is your responsibility to help provide for that baby.  Don't tell me that you are a "man" because you are tough, or successful or good looking etc., and yet you don't provide for your own children.  If you aren't trying to provide for them, I'm not sure you are a "man."  But where I want you to really go with this to spend your time on them.  That's normally the thing they want most.  The woman I am dating recently told me she thought I was good with teenagers.  I don't know if that's true or not but if it is true, its because I just talk to them like they are real people.  I don't treat them any different than any other person I would talk to.  I ask them questions about their lives or what's important and then I try really hard to listen to what they say.  Pretty simple stuff huh.

I think one of the most important things you can do to be a good dad is be the spiritual leader of your house.  Let your kids see you pray.  Don't leave all the praying to their mom or to the ladies in your life.  Real strength starts on your knees.  I heard someone say, "Show me a bible that is worn out and I will show you a Christian that isn't."  Let your kids see you spend time in the word of God.  It will help them as they get older.

Let me end this by taking a little different spin.  In many church's today, I hear all kinds of really nice comments about mothers on Mother's day and they are all true.  I am thankful for strong moms.  But then I hear remarks about who really wears the pants in the family or other somewhat derogatory remarks about the dads.  Ladies if you are making those "jokes" regularly, don't be surprised if he lives down to your expectations.  Encourage your man to be a real man and to be a real father.  You will be glad you did.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion