The Box

Hello everyone,

Today I reposted what I believe to be the most significant thing I have ever said.  The post is called, the Box.  Recently my girlfriend and I were discussing homosexuality and I will not discuss whether it is right or wrong.  You have a bible, find out for yourself.  But I do want to stress that hate for people of that lifestyle is totally wrong.  See our job isn't to judge it's to love.  If you look at thing's through the lense of the Box, it will change the way you look at people.  So, here's the Box.




I have given this a lot a of thought and I believe that the Lord showed me something that changed the way I view people.

You see, when God creates a person he gives them abilities, passions, desires, talents and all sorts of wonderful attributes that we seldom ever see. Then he takes all these things and puts them in a box with silver wrapping paper and very pretty red ribbon tied in a bow around it. He calls the box - You. It is a present to the world. When I saw this for the first time, I looked around at all the people walking by and said to myself, "Merry Christmas!" because all I could see were beautiful boxes waiting to be opened.

The problem is many people don't even know what is in their own box much less have taken the time to look in someone elses box. This starts when we are in school. As we grow up, we learn all kinds of new things about ourselves: what we like, what we don't, the changes that our bodies go through, we learn things in school about the world and we learn about social interaction. But sometimes that social interaction teaches us that the stuff in our box isn't all that important.

Have you ever felt like the stuff inside you doesn't really matter? Can you look back to a point in your life where you were doing something you really enjoyed and someone else called it or you stupid or worthless?

When you pull the most precious parts of your life out of the box and let other people see them, it is scary because you are definitely vulnerable at that point. But know this, the Lord put all those wonderful things inside and they are of great price and value. Don't let someone cheapen what is so precious by their comments.

Everyday, I see people who are alive but aren't living. I think it is because they have told themselves that the treasures in their box aren't important or worth much so they don't do anything with them. They may not have done this openly but below the surface it happens. You have to know that if God took the time to create you and put all those treasures inside you, they are important both to him and to me.

When was the last time you looked in your box and pulled out something you truly enjoyed and used it? When was the last time you opened the box? When was the last time you were passionate about anything? Are you so caught up in the rat race that your box isn't important any more?

Here is another interesting question - When was the last time you opened up someone else's box to see who they really are and celebrate the gifts inside them? Do you always know what is wrong with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids, friends, parents, family, coworkers but never look inside the box for what is so awesome about them?

Husbands, what would happen if instead of criticizing your wife, the next time you saw her, you decided to look at something that was so precious to her, so beautiful, so tender, so amazing and something she loved about herself? What would happen if you nurtured that gift and encouraged it to grow? What would happen if, after you opened her box, she decided that your box was the most special one on earth and decided to touch the core of who you are? What if you both decided to go deep in your relationship?

Boyfriends, what if you looked at her and decided that you wanted more than just what was inside her clothes, you wanted what was inside her heart. Girlfriends, what if you decided that you wanted the same thing? What if you wanted to explore who they are and make them the best person they could be while they did the same thing to you? What if you looked at them and asked, "What can I give?" instead of "What can I get?"

Is this a little intense? Yes. Is it worth it if just one person decides to open their box or open someone elses? Yes. You see, I believe that I got to see a little glimpse of the creation through the creator's eyes when He showed me this. It was truly an eye opening experience and I can definitely say I will never be the same. I got to see how He looked at and longs for His creation to be all that we can be and how His love for us goes so deep His heart aches for us.

So I guess the real question is what is in your box? I want to know.

That's the Opinion of His Minion

Viva Las Vegas

Hi All,

Most of my posts have a message or some point that I try to illustrate.  And generally, I tell a story about something that happened in my life and what I learned from it.

Well today's lesson is going to be a little different.  I want to take a minute to talk about being grateful and thankful.  As I was sitting last night talking with my beautiful girlfriend, D, she said that she never wanted to take me for granted.  It was so sweet and beautiful and I said the same thing.  I am amazed at how quickly I can get used to things.

See when we first started dating, she would tell me sweet things like how nice a guy I was or how amazing I was and thanked me for something almost everyday.  Those sweet comments always touched my heart.  I noticed recently that I was not thankful in the same way.  Those comments use to make me blush and embarrass me a little even though they were always just between us.  She still makes those statements to me almost every day and she is such a blessing in my life.  We both have a deep appreciation for each other as well as a love that continues to deepen. 

So what does all this have to do with Las Vegas?  Well, I found another reason to be thankful.  This past week, I was in Las Vegas for a trade show for my company.  But I noticed that something was off when I got there.  I wasn't depressed or anything.  I just wasn't excited about being there.  I have been to Las Vegas at least 20 times in my career so I have seen a lot of the city.  In times past I always got excited about going out there even though I am not a big gambler, drinker or womanizer.  At first I thought I was just experiencing burn out on the city.

The morning after I got there, D sent me a text telling me to flee temptation from "sin" city.  Now she was just kidding and I know she trusted that I wouldn't do anything wrong and it was just a little funny quip between us and I love that about her.  My response to her was that I didn't need to resist temptation from sin city because the person I wanted to be with was back in Fort Worth (her).  This was why I was a little off when I got there.  For the first time in a long time, I wasn't running away from Fort Worth to get a break from my problems (we all have them right).  Now I love my children and I love being around them but for many years I was a very lonely guy.  I was around people and married but lonely at the same time.

But this trip to Las Vegas made me understand how much I genuinely love that woman and I was looking forward to getting home to be with her.  So let me say - Thank you D, for making my life so much fun and for loving me the way you do.  You are the most remarkable woman I have ever met and I am so grateful that you are in my life.  Life is definitely better with you in it!

So is there a moral to my post today?  Well I didn't think I had one until now.  What am I telling all of us today?  BE THANKFUL!  Yes, I know that we all face hard times but try to find something to be thankful for today.  I will cheer you up.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

What Were You Thinking?

OK, today I want to talk about something that is extremely important - thoughts.  I want to share something that has recently come to light in my life.  My thoughts will dictate where I go for the day. 

Now I have heard people talk about this a lot and the bible even says that we are supposed to cast out bad thoughts but I never really got it until recently.  Now I have tried unsuccessfully to get rid of those bad thoughts for years and for years I thought I wasn't spiritual enough or something because it never worked.  See a bad thought would get in my head and I would start trying to get rid of it but it wouldn't work.

But here's what I recently discovered about those thoughts.  They had a very direct effect on my mood and feelings.  I once had someone tell me that I needed to lead my heart (my emotions) and I can definitely see his point.  Now I am not saying that your emotions are not important or that you shouldn't listen to what you are feeling because that's not true.  But I do want to spend a couple of minutes talking about how your thoughts effect them.

See, if you concentrate on something long enough, it will definitely effect the way you feel.  What's worse is if you meditate on something bad, many times your thoughts will run wild.  You can end up dreading or mentally walking through all kinds of situations that never will actually happen.  Have you ever gotten a piece of bad news and not been in a place where you could do something about it instantly?  When that happens to me, I can get really worked up over nothing. 

I remember just recently I was feeling like things were off.  Now as you may know, dealing with my emotions is a relatively new thing for me as I have only been doing this for a couple of years.  So as I sat there trying to figure out why I was feeling like I was in a funk, I did a mental inventory.  My relationship with my kids was very good.  I was getting them the help they needed.  I was seeing good things happening in my business.  It was growing and I had made several very positive changes that were showing great results on a business that was doing well before we made them.  I was (and still am) dating a great woman.  She is the most amazing person.  I know she loves me deeply because she tells and shows me and I love her very deeply too.

So as I sat there trying to figure out why the funk, I noticed that I felt like something was wrong and it made me feel a little strange.  But when I did a mental inventory, everything was going (and still is) great.  So what was going on?   Here is what I discovered.  When I went to bed at night, if I wasn't careful, I my mind would wander all over the place and most of the time, I was running bad scenarios through my head.  I didn't mean to do this but I didn't stop it from happening either.  Now I know life is full of things that happen that are bad.   The bible even says that we will have trouble.  I also believe that we should plan for certain contingencies in our lives.  That's a smart thing to do.  But I was planning on all kinds of stupid contingencies.  As I planned through each one that was bad, I realized that it had a negative effect on my emotions and thus a negative effect on my mood.

But there is good news!  I figured out how to cast down the thoughts and it was really simple.  You don't make them go away and keep your mind blank.  You fill your mind with good thoughts.  What if I started planning for the good things that God has in store for me?  What if I started thinking about how He wants to bless me and how He has the power to do so?  What if I looked back at some of the sweet texts that my beautiful girlfriend sends me and think about how much she loves me and I love her?  What if I start thinking about all the good things going on at work or with my kids?  I noticed that when I do this, my emotions are good and my spirit lifts.

So what am I telling you?  When you feel your emotions are in a bad place, check yourself.  If there are good reasons for your negative emotions, then don't deny them - deal with them.  But I think you will find that many times we get upset for no good reason.  When that happens make the conscious decision to meditate on good things and not bad ones.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

Are You Drunk?

Hello everyone,

Today I want to tell you about something I really saw in a different light this week.  But before I get to that, I want to roll the clock back several years and tell you a little story.

When I first started working for company I run today, some of the people from our company had to take a trip to Detroit.  Now I was very new to flying and so I was really excited.  But the truth be told, I was new to almost everything related to business.  I was still a wet behind the ears rookie at our business at it showed.

There were four of us on this particular trip.  We were going to see a company that wanted us to work for them and this was our interview process.  It was a chance for us to interview them and vice versa.  But since we were coming to Detroit on our air fare, they paid for our hotel rooms (remember this fact, you will see it again).  My boss was normally in a good mood when we went on these trips and he needed it for this trip.  As we got to the counter, I was the first one in our line.  Now my boss was in the frequent flier program and he had the ability to upgrade to first class from coach.  The attendant asked if I wanted to upgrade since I was in my bosses party and I said, "Sure! Updgrade the whole group!"  Because I wasn't using my money, being a big spender was no problem.  The funny part was that I didn't know it cost money to do the upgrades.  I thought my boss got to do this just because he had flown so much on that airline.  Well $500 later we got on the airplane in first class.  If he was mad about it, he never mentioned it.  Truth be told, he would probably have done it himself.

So he and another of the more seasoned veterans of our company sat a couple of rows behind us while I and another wet behind the ears salesman sat in the bulkhead row.  It was an evening flight and we all had a good time.  In fact, my companion had a very good time.  He drank a bottle of wine during the flight.  Well we are about to start our decent into Detroit when the flight attendant asks him if he wants to take this other bottle with him when we get off the plane.  When my friend finds out he has 30 minutes until we land, he promptly orders the bottle opened and finishes it before we hit the runway in Detroit.

At this point, he is finished himself.  See two bottles of wine over the course of three hours is a lot of wine even for him.  At that point, he could hold his liquor pretty well.  What he didn't factor into the equation was the altitude and how it makes the alcohol even more potent.  While we were standing in line to get our rental car, he has his arm around the guy behind.  This other guy is wearing the ugliest suit I have ever seen.  It is bright yellow and he is wearing a bright yellow hat like the guy from Curious George.  Being the salesman he is, my friend is trying to convince this stranger to come charter a boat the company owed!  He was totally plastered!

So we get to the hotel and start the check in process.  In case you have never stayed at a hotel, this is a typical check in process.  You walk up to the counter, announce who you are and they start the process.  At this point, the people behind the counter ask for your credit card to pay for the room and any other incidental charges.  Unless someone else has already paid for your room!  At one point in our process and I find my friend in a full on argument about paying for his room.  Now he is attempting to pay for it with his driver's license (not a credit card).  When the lady behind the counter explains that the rooms have been paid for by the company we are visiting, he gets upset because he thinks that this little lady is saying he is in capable of handling his financial responsibilities and tries to pay for his room with his YMCA card.  This whole process goes on for a while before we get him convinced that the room is paid for and he is in right standing with the hotel.

That's sort of a funny story right.  Well what would you say if I told you that you have probably done the same thing in your life?  I can already hear people saying, "Not me!  I've never been drunk!" or something else explaining my ridiculous question.  But hold on there for a minute.

See, I bet there is an area of your life where this is a problem.  Have you ever done something wrong in your life and then regretted it?  Have you ever felt bad about something you did and sort of punished yourself for doing it?  I'm pretty sure you have.  But you see, your forgiveness has already been paid in full.  Jesus did it once and for all.  He took care of your hotel bill for good.  I think we go around a lot trying to pay for our own sins with our driver's license or YMCA card when Jesus has already taken care of it.  So if that's you today, quit trying to pay for something that's already paid with something that wouldn't take care of the bill if there was one.  Just accept God's forgiveness.  When you do something wrong, admit it, quit it and forget it!

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

Ask the Minion

Hello Everyone.

Last week, I asked you to post your questions on Facebook and I told you I would do my best to answer them.  Before I get to the questions, let me give you a couple of things.  First of all, I am not associated with the movie, Despicable Me so any questions regarding those minions, I will decline to answer.  Second, please remember that when I write these posts, they are just my opinions and what I believe the Lord shows me.  I do not have any type of degree or certification counseling so if you have a serious problem, please seek professional help as I don't want to lead you astray.

OK, let's get to the questions.

1.  MB - How do I get a guy like you?  Let me start by saying how flattered I am at the question.  While this may sound like false humility, I really don't consider myself all that special but I am a good guy.  So how do you get a good guy (someone better than me, I hope)?  My first thought is that you have to find one.  So when you are around boys or girls, ask yourself how they make you feel and why?  Are they good to you and do they treat you right?  Do they always strive to do the right thing (even if they aren't perfect)?  Do they make you feel special and are you compatible?  Is there any real attraction between the two of you?  If the answer to these questions is yes then you have found someone.

Now here's the hard part - How do you get them to like you?  The answer is - you can't.  Just be yourself, if they like you for you then great.  If not, then they really aren't the person for you.  If you have to change yourself to be someone else for them to like you, eventually you will go back to being your real self and then you have a problem or you will change so much that you won't like yourself.  So just be you.  Be bold enough to go say hello to them and talk to them and then see what happens.  MB, if you have more questions, please don't hesitate to ask and I will try to answer.

MP - What is the meaning of life?  According to Webster's dictionary one meaning is - the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.  If you mean philosophically, I really don't know.

TTS - Why is life so confusing when it gets hard?  There are a lot of reason for that but I think one thing that happens to me is when life gets hard my emotions tell me one thing and my head tells me something else.  When that happens, sometimes my heart is right, sometimes my head is right.  The only thing I can tell you is to take your decisions to God.  When you get peace from Him about the right decision, then go with it.  I will probably try to expand on this in another post.

JAE & AA - What's your favorite food? - That is a hard question and the answer changes based on the mood I am in at the time.  I like almost all kinds of food.  Over the course of my life, my absolute favorite has probably been pizza.

KL - Why does God allow awful things like abuse, especially child and domestic to occur? The Lord is supposed to be this all-knowing, all-loving, kind, caring God. Yet He lets his children suffer?  KL, I have struggled with this question for many years.  I mean, why did God let the serpent take the blessing in the garden of Eden anyway?  Part of the answer is that we are free will beings and we can choose what we do.  Thing about this - If you could make someone love you and you knew that the only reason they loved you is because you made them, would you make them love you?  I wouldn't because it wouldn't be real love.  I believe that God set a system in place and he expected us to follow that system.  As adults when we don't then there is the risk that we will get hurt.  Now let me say, I can feel pain from thinking about child abuse and I don't know why this happens.  It is so awful and so wrong.  I believe that God's hands are tied in certain places and sometimes he can't interfere but I really don't know why.  Now I can hear some of you saying that God is all powerful and he can do anything.  If that's the case, why did Jesus have to come die for my sins?  KL, I don't feel like I did a good job of answering this question but I hope this helps some.

PC - Who is better - Batman or Superman? - In my book, Superman is better.  Why because he always stood for truth, justice and the American way plus he could fly and was super strong.

FB

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Leadership

Today I want to talk about leadership. 

The thing that really annoys me about this topic is I hear people talk about how to be a leader all the time.  As a matter of fact, four or five years ago, that was the "in" thing to talk about.  People wrote books about it, gave classes about it and in general told you everything you needed to know to become one.

But I really struggled watching people who were leaders that didn't have any people following them.  I saw several people who could tell you what to do and what not to do.  They were "in the know" about all sorts of topics.  In fact, if you needed help with a situation, just bring it up around them and they wouldn't even wait for you to ask, they would just "lead" you out with a lot of advice you didn't request.  Have you ever met people like that?

Well now I want to take a swing at how to be a leader.  Let's start with a good definition.  As I was working out this morning, I was reading a book by Dick Marcinko.  Dick was the leader of a group of Navy Seals in the 1980s and he has written several books about his team.  Now these books are not about his actual team, they are fiction and I would classify them as mental candy.  I don't know that the really expand my mind from reading them.  In the book I am reading now, Mr. Marcinko gave the perfect definition of leadership in two words - follow me.

See I think that is what real leadership is all about.  I am learning as I continue to grow in the places where the Lord put me in a leadership role that this is the crux of how to lead.  In my particular position, I tried to just let things evolve on their own and I basically just sat back and watched a lot of things grow on their own.  I was fortunate that the Lord blessed the work and it did grow but now I understand that I need to lead from the front and provide the vision. 

When I think of leadership, I think of two of my closest friends JC and BL.  They both embody the principal that I am discussing today.  Now let me tell you a couple of things that I learned from both of them while I was at TCU.  First of all, while I was learning these principals from them, I didn't always like them.  They were demanding and they were normally not very tactful in the way they approached getting us to follow them.  But I would have done anything either of them asked because of the way they led. 

See, I followed them.  Why because they were doing what they wanted me to do and they were doing it to such a high level that they did it better than everyone else.  Their challenge was always come up here where I already am and let's get better together.  See, if I wanted their leadership, I only needed to look in front of me because that's where they were.

These two guys embodied what Dick Marcinko said - follow me.  So what am I trying to say today?  If you want people to follow you just start doing what you want people to do.  Quit trying to tell everyone else how they should do something and just live your life as an example of how it should be done.  That's true leadership.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion.

Heart

Today I want to talk about heart.  When I was in high school, I was on the football team.  Notice I did not say I was a football player because I really wasn't but I was on the team.  Now we had a coach named coach S.  He coached the defense when I was in school and he was meaner than a junkyard dog.  Now I don't know if he is the first person I ever heard say this but I can see him saying it in my mind.  I can see him saying, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."


Before I get into this, I am NOT advocating dog fighting and that is NOT the point of that saying.  What it means is that sometimes you don't look at what a person looks like on the outside, you look at their insides.  Many times a football team can win a game against a better team just because they wanted to win more than the other team.  Because their hearts are consumed with winning and it grows to such large proportions inside, it comes out and they can win.

Not that many years ago, I was running 5K and 10K races and I was placing very well in my age group.  I even won a couple of times.  Now I am only 5' 7" tall and have short legs.  I was running against guys who had longer legs and had more of a runner's body.  Why could I beat them - heart.  I was determined that no one was going to work harder than me.  I wanted to be the best runner that I could be.  Interestingly enough, I never felt like I was in competition with anyone but myself.  I didn't see a guy who I thought was in my age group and try to out run him.  I just tried to do my personal best every race.  That attitude helped me to do very well.

So why am I writing this today?  Because I have seen several people who have given up on their dreams and their goals.  While I was on a recent trip to Seattle, I watched some kids playing hide and go seek in a park.  This one kid was taller and had longer legs that most of the other kids playing.  There were even some really young kids that he certainly could have out ran and tagged before they got to base but he convinced himself that he could not catch anyone and the first round, he didn't.  Why?  Heart. 

He didn't have the heart to run.  Is it really necessary to have a lot of heart and win one for the Gypper while playing hide and go seek?  Of course not.  At the end of the day, who won or lost at hide and go seek is totally irrelevant.  But let's look at a couple of other scenarios that are a little different.

Many of you know that I am a lawyer by training although I don't practice. It was the last semester of my final year of law school and my brother told me, "Don't quit.  You are almost there."  At that point, I was in the top part of my class and doing great.  Quitting had never entered my mind.  But what if it had?  Where would I be if I didn't have the heart to finish?  I wouldn't have a degree.  Some of you may be considering dropping out of high school.  DON'T QUIT.  You can make it.  Some of you may be considering quitting something else like a job or a relationship or something else.  DON'T QUIT.  You can see this through.  Remember this - Tough times don't last.  Tough people do.

So I will leave this where I started.  It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.  You may be going through something bigger than you.  Remember that the you on the inside is much bigger that the you on the outside especially if God is on the inside you are bigger than the problem you face.

I've done it again.  I blogged myself happy.  That's another Opinion of the Minion.

GIGO

Hello everyone,

Today I want to talk about something I relearned just recently.  It's the concept of GIGO.  "What does that mean," you ask.  It stands for Garbage In Garbage Out.

Let's think about computers for a minute.  We all know that two plus two equals four right.  Well what would happen if we programmed a computer to say that two plus two equals five?  If we did that, every time we asked the computer how much two plus two equals, it would tell us five.  And it would be wrong every time.  So what happened?  We put the wrong stuff in the computer and it gave us the wrong answer.  Guess what, it will consistently give us the wrong answer until we take the time to reprogram it.

So what did I relearn about this and why?  Well as you know, I normally talk about life and how to live it better.  I try to be very positive and upbeat about everything and most of the time I am.  Do you know why?  Because I try to feed on upbeat and positive stuff.  Now I'm not saying for one minute that I am perfect at it but as a rule, I don't allow my mind to feed on things that aren't edifying.

Now I can already hear some of you saying, "Well you must live in a dream world.  I bet your one of those people who can't see the bad stuff that is happening right in front of your face!"  Not so - I absolutely recognize that there is bad stuff going on around us.  But if I can't do anything about it, then I really don't want to hear much about it.  I stay informed about the issues to some extent but there have been more than one "crisis" that I completely missed out on because I didn't know it was happening.

Let me tell you one place I try to avoid - the evening news.  Do you know why?  Because it normally goes something like this: three stories about bad things happening to people locally, commercial, one more bad story, the weather, commercial, sports and then it's over.  What a waste.  I would pay money to see a news guy come on the TV and say, "Tonight folks, we really don't have anything news worthy to report so here is the weather (if you live in Texas in August, that's not necessary - we all know it's hot!) and the sports.  Now we are going to skip to Wheel of Fortune twenty minutes early."  Am I saying that you shouldn't watch the news?  Certainly not.  What I am telling you is to spend quality time focusing on good things in your life.

Let me tell you another example.  I have always had a can do attitude for the most part.  I believe that I can accomplish almost anything I set my mind to do.  For the most part, I have seen that come to pass in my life.  So answer this question - What do you say/think about yourself?  Do you say that you can't do it or that you are just too stupid?  The chances are you won't accomplish what you want because you are feeding yourself a lie and telling yourself you can't.  Here's the funny thing about a lie - If you say it long enough, you will start to believe it.  When that happens, you are in serious trouble.  Yet, on the positive side, when you confess that you can do it, you might not believe it at first but keep at it.  If you continue to feed your mind with the positive stuff, eventually it will come to pass.

I remember when I was 350 pounds.  I weighed that for several years.  Then one day, I started saying that I weighed 205 pounds and guess what - Nothing happened.  I still weighed 350 pounds.  I think I said I weighed 205 pounds for a year or two before anything changed but it did.  I finally lost the weight. 

So where did I have to re-learn the lesson?  Well, at the end of June of this year, the Lord instructed me to stop listening to country music and to listen to only christian music for the entire month of July.  Before anyone gets mad, I am not saying that country music is garbage but it is not as uplifting as christian music.  As a matter of fact, I still like country music and I listen to it a little now but the Lord was preparing me for a couple of trials that he knew I would face in July.  Both were definitely learning experiences for me.  See I needed to be extra careful what I was feeding my brain so that when the time came, I would be strong enough to handle what I faced.

Let me sum it up like this.  Your brain is an organ in your body.  What you feed it will definitely effect how it works.  Now I am not talking about physical food although that is important.  I'm talking about thoughts and words.  What you listen to and say about yourself will absolutely make a difference in your life.  So pay attention to what you feed it!  You're worth far too much!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Don't Bury Your Head in the Sand

OK, today I want to talk about something no one else but me may have ever done - burying my head in the sand when there was a problem.  Now I am sure that you have never done that but I have and it has caused some damage.  But a little more on that in a few minutes.

This is an issue that I think everyone deals with on some level.  We would all like for the issues and problems in our lives to go away.  No one really likes to deal with them because they are uncomfortable and sometimes the things we have to face cause us pain.  Wouldn't it be easier if we just ignored them?  I mean won't they go away on their own if we give them enough time?  In my limited 41 years on this earth I would have to say no.  Problems don't go away on their own.

Think about having a homework assignment that you don't really understand.  If you don't do it, you are guaranteed to get a zero right?  That grade will hurt.  How about adults.  What if you are overdrawn at the bank?  If you don't deal with that problem, you can cause more checks to bounce.  That in turn, can cause your electricity to be cut off, etc.  Now these types of problems are concrete and fairly easy to see.

But what about some problems that are not so easy.  How about the tension between you and a good friend?  I once knew of two friends who both thought the other person was upset with them.  I knew that this wasn't true but because neither of them decided to face the problem head on and call the other, the situation took months to resolve when it could have been over with a phone call.

Now let me put this a little closer to home.  One of my children has had a problem for several years now.  This problem is definitely fixable but for years I did nothing about it.  I was afraid to admit that one of my children was anything but perfect when in fact none of us is perfect.  So because I would not let anyone label my child and accurately identify this problem, it has grown worse over the years. 

It is a tough thing to swallow - Knowing that my child has needed help all these years and because I buried my head in the sand to the whole issue, he is behind on getting it.  That was something I never should have done.  I have been able to face other issues but fear kept me from handling this one.

I encourage you to examine your life and see if there are anythings you need to deal with and resolve.  If so, pray about how to handle the situation and take the appropriate steps to resolve it.  When you do that, you will feel a weight being lifted off your shoulder.  That weight is the stress those unresolved problems puts on your body.  Remember this, Jesus said in this life you will have trouble but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.  If Jesus had trouble in his life (and he had a lot) and he tells us that we will, then we will.  It's up to us to recognize the issues in our lives and deal with them.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Hard Times

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to talk about hard times.  What are they?  Are we supposed to have them?  How do we handle them?

Well, as I have mentioned several times before I didn't like dealing with my emotions so I stuffed them in a box.  In the same way I didn't like dealing with the thought of hard times in life.  I didn't like dealing with hard things either because guess what - They came with negative emotions and I really didn't like that.

So what are hard times?  Well, it's interesting that the definition changes based on your circumstances.  I have helped a couple of kids with homework in the last six months.  Now to them, they were in hard times.  The deadline to turn the homework in was rapidly approaching and there was a lot to do.  Also, because they had never done a couple of these projects, it was even more difficult because sometimes they were unsure of what to do.  Because I have had a lot of school and done a lot of projects (and because we were talking about sixth grade stuff) it didn't really bother me so I didn't consider the situation all that intense.

That makes sense right because I am comparing where I am at 40 years old with where sixth graders are.  But let me tell you this.  I have also noticed that there are certainly challenges that come with being a parent that seem very hard to me.  Now my girlfriend, D, who is an amazing parent has already been through some of what I am going through and while she encourages me and tells me that I am doing a great job, some of these things seem easier because she understands them already.

Of course there are other circumstances that most of us adults either have faced or face now like financial hard times or the loss of a relationship.  All these things hurt.

Now I am sure this is obvious to you but I really didn't understand that all of these things are normal and a part of life.  Even Jesus said, "In this life you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."  That was a revelation for me.  I hated conflict and trouble and did everything I could to avoid it.  I even buried my head in the sand a few times and tried to pretend that hard times didn't really exist.  I know you have never been as stupid as I was and I am glad. 

Very recently I went on a trip that was very hard for me.  The people I was with caused me a certain amount of challenges and I was definitely emotionally overcome.  Now nothing really bad happened but I didn't know how to handle several situations and there seemed to always be a situation to handle.  But, by God's grace, I was able to handle each one and with his help, I was told that I did a very good job.  So what do we do when hard times come?  The answer is pretty easy - Face the hard time and overcome it.  Like Jesus said, He has overcome the world. 

I heard someone say the definition of courageous is not that you are never scared.  The definition of being courageous is being afraid and doing what needs to be done anyway.  This week, I got an opportunity to face something that really had me worried.  Fortunately for me, the other person in this situation is amazing and we were able to work through what we needed to.  But one of the things that made me feel good about myself is that I didn't bury my head in the sand - I faced the hard time head on and with the Lord's help, we overcame it. 

Guess what - Every time you face something hard and overcome it, you grow.  So don't worry about hard times.  They will come.  But with God's help you can overcome everyone.  I will leave you with this - when you face a hard time and overcome it, the next time you see it, it won't seem very hard.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Be You

Today I want to deal with another subject that grew out of a very sensitive conversation that I had with someone recently.  As in my last post, I will not go into the situation because it was a very sensitive one and it could cause the person who talked to me harm even though I don't think anyone involved reads this blog.  I am not sure why people want to talk to me but it seems that they do.  (If I am fortunate, it is because people see the love of God come through me to them).

Let me use an example from my own life to illustrate my point.  When I was married, I changed a lot.

Some of it was for the better - I was a financial train wreck waiting for a place to come off the tracks for many years of my life.  As a matter of fact, some people who knew me back then thought I was crazy for going to law school because I was so irresponsible that they didn't think I could make it through.  Eventually I changed over time and grew out of that which is a very good thing.

I also became a father.  That was definitely a change for the better.  When the movie, Courageous came out I watched it and my heart broke.  I realized then that I did not know how to be a great father and I really wanted to be one.  Now I don't think I am a bad dad but I definitely know I can improve.  But being a dad for the first time definitely changed me in a good way.

But I also changed in some not good ways.  I quit being myself because part of me seemed to always make my ex-wife mad.  The Bible says that people who make peace with other people will be blessed so I always tried (most of the time unsuccessfully) to make peace with her.  But in doing so, I lost touch with part of who I was.  I was never really comfortable around her.  I don't think that she was responsible for this.  As a matter of fact, there are parts of me that I should have refused to change because they were really who I am. 

As an aside, don't use this as an excuse to be mean or act inappropriately to anyone.  I can hear some guy saying, "Well I just like a lot of girls.  That's part of who I am so it's OK for me to date other girls while I am married to someone."  NO I am not saying that.  Quit being a jerk.

But what I am telling you is that you need to be true to who you really are.  If you like football, that's OK as long as it doesn't rule your life.  If you like romantic movies, that's OK as long as it doesn't rule your life.  See it is important to stay true to yourself.  Don't let people change you to the point that you don't even recognize you anymore.  That's a mistake.  Now I have decided to just be me.  That doesn't mean that everyone has to like me.  Some people probably don't but that's OK. 

So I want to leave you with this.  Stay true to who you are.  Be you.  Do the right thing even when it's not popular but be you.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Go To the Source

Hello Everyone,

I haven't posted in a long time and I apologize for that.  I made a comment several months ago about being bored and I have been busy since.

Over the last 18 hours I have been involved in a situation that prompted this post.  As the situation that I have watched would be extremely embarrassing to the people involved, I will not mention anything about this particular one.  I will say this though - I have no condemnation for anyone involved.  If you are reading this and you are involved, you know who you are.

So let me start with one simple question.  What do you do if you hear something bad about someone?  We all know people who like to gossip.  There are also people who tell you things just because they think you should know for some potential benefit to you - Read that just another excuse to gossip.  Well, here are my thoughts on what to do and not do.

1.  Don't go telling other people about a situation unless they need to be involved.  You don't need to tell your best friend (boys or girls) about something that you heard bad about someone else.  All you are doing is spreading the situation to more people and probably hurting some one's reputation in the process.  Did you know that the bible says that we are to love our neighbor like we love ourselves?  How do we do that?  Well one way we do that is by not running around telling people about all the bad things we have heard about other people.  See the bible also says love covers a lot of sins.  Now I am not telling you to keep your mouth shut if you know someone is in danger or has been abused.  In that case, go to someone who is in authority (your parents, a teacher you know or even the police if it is really serious) and tell them.  But your best girl friend or best buddy really doesn't need to know.

2.  Don't assume that just because you heard some rumor that it is true.  I believe it was in the 1950s when some guy on a radio in New York City started a rumor on the radio about alien invasions that caused a big panic.  It was just a joke but a lot of people got shook up over it.  Also, I remember when I was in high school and the boys started talking about sex.  I can tell you that 95% of what they said turned out to be untrue.  Be careful not to judge someone just because you heard a rumor about them.  That is a very dangerous thing to do and it can hurt people who don't deserve it.

3.  If it really doesn't concern you then just forget it and keep on moving.  Most of the time, when we hear things about our friends, we really don't need to know about it anyway.  If someone walks up to tell you something bad about your friend, you can choose not to listen at all.  After all, will it make you a better person to hear the rumor?  Will it help you be helpful to your friend?  Maybe but most of the time it won't.

4.  Lastly, if you must know something about the rumor or the story you were told, go to the source.  As many of you know, I have been divorced for about a year now.  Well, before I got divorced someone started a rumor that I was having an affair on my wife and it was completely untrue.  I never did anything like that.  This particular rumor got back to someone I am very close to and instead of spreading the rumor or calling someone else to verify what she heard (read that still just spreading the rumor), she called me.  It was a very loving act and I appreciate it to this day.  She will always have a special place in my heart.

So let me conclude with this.  Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will kill you.  Be careful what you say and hear about other people.  It is best just to let rumors drop and die when you hear them but if you must discuss it with someone, call the source and get it straight.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Fatherhood

OK, I probably should have posted this on Sunday in honor of Father's Day but life is busy and here it is Tuesday.  Today I want to talk about what being a father is about to me.  I think that the whole concept of fatherhood has lost itself somewhere in our society.  Realizing that the number of single parent moms is substantial, there are many kids who grow up without a strong father.

So what does a good father look like?  Well to start with, he needs to take responsibility for his life and his actions.  If you got her pregnant, it's your responsibility take care of the child.  It's your responsibility to train that child in the way he should live so that he will grow up to be a strong citizen and a good person.  Now most of you might think that my last couple of sentences are pointed at guys who get a girl pregnant and then don't marry her or provide for the child.  They certainly apply to that group but I am also talking about married couples and divorced couples as well.  It really doesn't make any difference how that precious child got her, just take responsibility for it and teach it.

Which leads me to my next point.  What should I teach my children?  In my life right now, I have three wonderful children plus two other children who I am around a lot.  So what am I teaching them?  Well yesterday my oldest son mowed the lawn and I paid him to do it.  Then I taught him about tithing.  Regularly we talk about God and how important he is to our life.  Did you know that Abraham was the father of Israel plus many other countries in the middle east?  Do you know why?  Because God knew that Abraham would teach his children about Him.  That's part of our job as dads.  Also dads, we need to know this.  Actions speak much louder than words.  If we tell our children one thing and then act in a different way, they are going to know that we don't believe our own words and they probably wont believe them either.

So after I teach them, what are some other things I should do?  I need to spend on them.  Now most of you might jump to spend money and I certainly tried to lead you that way.  Dad if you had that child, it is your responsibility to help provide for that baby.  Don't tell me that you are a "man" because you are tough, or successful or good looking etc., and yet you don't provide for your own children.  If you aren't trying to provide for them, I'm not sure you are a "man."  But where I want you to really go with this to spend your time on them.  That's normally the thing they want most.  The woman I am dating recently told me she thought I was good with teenagers.  I don't know if that's true or not but if it is true, its because I just talk to them like they are real people.  I don't treat them any different than any other person I would talk to.  I ask them questions about their lives or what's important and then I try really hard to listen to what they say.  Pretty simple stuff huh.

I think one of the most important things you can do to be a good dad is be the spiritual leader of your house.  Let your kids see you pray.  Don't leave all the praying to their mom or to the ladies in your life.  Real strength starts on your knees.  I heard someone say, "Show me a bible that is worn out and I will show you a Christian that isn't."  Let your kids see you spend time in the word of God.  It will help them as they get older.

Let me end this by taking a little different spin.  In many church's today, I hear all kinds of really nice comments about mothers on Mother's day and they are all true.  I am thankful for strong moms.  But then I hear remarks about who really wears the pants in the family or other somewhat derogatory remarks about the dads.  Ladies if you are making those "jokes" regularly, don't be surprised if he lives down to your expectations.  Encourage your man to be a real man and to be a real father.  You will be glad you did.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Two Feet Part 1

Hello everyone,

Many of you know that I use to way 350 pounds and the Lord delivered me from weight issues.  I believe he told me to write a book.  Below please find a small part from the first chapter.  Please let me know what you think.

That's the Opinion of the Minion

It’s 5:55 a.m. and the alarm clock begins signals the start of another day.  After a couple of seconds I roll over and turn it off.  Out my picture windows, I am greeted by an amazing sight.  The sun is just beginning to rise over the tops of the buildings downtown.  Fort Worth isn’t the biggest city in the world by any stretch but it’s my city and its home.  I live in the penthouse and the view from my balcony is breath taking.  I let Clara Belle out on it and she lays down to enjoy the air.  She’s a Great Pyrenees mix and looks more like a polar bear than a dog.  It’s a cool 65 degrees Fahrenheit outside today.  Quite a change from the hottest summer in north Texas history.  We have had 70 days of over 100 degree weather and I am glad for a break.

That done, I pick up my Ipad and open the Sonus app that controls the stereo zones in my apartment.  I only play the music in the bedroom so I don’t wake up any of my neighbors but it gets me going.  Next, it’s time to make the bed and start the shower. Shower complete, vitamins consumed and dry fit clothes on, I lace up my Asics Kayano gym shoes.  They only have a couple of days left before they are trash but they still feel good.  At around 6:25 I head out the door and down to the car.  It’s a short ride to the gym and there is an audiobook talking to me through the Lexus’ stereo system.  As I walk in the door, I see many familiar faces and they are a mix of smiles and frowns just like you would expect.  My good friend and trainer is there talking to his fiancée on the treadmill so I stop to offer some good natured words of quasi encouragement and head to the men’s locker room.  I drop my bag in the back corner and pull out the Garmin watch along with my IPod Nano.  It’s just another day in paradise.  On my way out the door, I stop to drop my shirt by the computer monitor on the desk and step out into the cool air.  What a beautiful morning.  It‘s one of those times in life that you are in awe of God and his creation.  I can see more of the sun peaking up over the tops of the buildings and know this is going to be one of those great days.

As I stand there waiting for my Garmin to sync up with the satellites OneRepublic’s  Good Life is blaring in my ears.  It’s nice just to sit there and hum along while the watch talks to whatever it talks to.  My trainer just told me that I don’t have to do weights today just cardio but he asks me to push just a little today.  This should be a good run.  The humidity is low and the temperature perfect.  I will only run six miles today.  Certainly not the farthest I have ever run but a lot farther than I could have gone eight years ago.  Watch finally working I start out.  Almost immediately I take a right turn and head toward White Settlement road.  The tunes change and my mind drifts all over the place.  I think about the people in my life.  Who needs help today and what can I do about it?  When I get to work, what needs to be done?  What else is on the agenda today?  I have a blog that has 37,000 fans from literally around the world.  What would the Lord have me tell them today?  How am I going to bring them a word of encouragement?  It’s a great day and I start much stronger than I have in a long time.

Now I hit the 1.25 mile mark and start the climb up the first real hill.  The whole run is a little uphill but this is the first one that really gets my attention.  I have to cross 7th street and then make the climb.  The cool air definitely helps and my legs don’t really burn today.  I am holding steady at about 7.4 miles per hour.  Now that’s not really all that fast even for me but it’s much faster than I have been running.  

As I come over the top of the hill.  I spot something truly remarkable.  It’s a box and it’s on the opposite side of the street from where I am running.  This box isn’t just any old box, its silver with a bright red bow around it.  You know the kind; you can take the lid off the box without disturbing the ribbon on the lid or the box because someone has wrapped each separately.  I will never know exactly what is in this box but I appreciate it none the less.  God has placed certain unique qualities inside this box.  Who knows what they are but because He took so much time and care when he created it, I respect it greatly.  It is truly an amazing gift to the world and I am honored just to see it for a few minutes.  As I look around, there are more boxes.  One is crossing the street and one is already in front of me on the same side of the street.  One thing I know for sure - God is deeply and passionately in love with each of these boxes and that makes me appreciate them greatly.  Many of these boxes need help and I wish I could be the one to help them all.  Sometimes I get to but not as often as I would like.

Do Nice Guys Finish Last? (Part 2)

Last time I wrote, we talked about how to define a nice guy.  Today I want to deal with the question - Do nice guys finish last?  Most of you probably have not read a post that I did about this time last year discussing why women can be so attracted to guys who are not very nice to them.  Well today let’s look at this from the other side of the equation.

In high school and in our 20s I think it is very difficult for us to know what exactly we want.  We want everyone to like us.  We want people to want to hang out with us.  We want admiration from our friends.  These things are all OK but what this really defines is “being popular.”  Unfortunately at that age, we don’t know how to be comfortable with just being us so to make ourselves feel better we put other people down.  Now if you are a popular kid then when you put someone else down they are “unpopular” right.  

So if you are a girl which group do you want to be associated with?  The “popular” crowd or the “unpopular” one?  That’s a no brainer right?  Well let’s look at the nice guy for a second.  Think of the nicest guy you know.  Does he typically go around putting other people down?  I doubt it.  That’s what makes him a nice guy.  Is he typically going to be in with the “in” crowd?  Many times not.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that if you are popular that you are not a nice guy because that just isn’t true.

But I think girls in high school are attracted to the popular guys because they are “popular.”  Nice guys in that group may be seen as finishing last.  I mean when a girl says you are a great guy or a nice guy isn’t that the kiss of death in high school?  I know I always felt like that was the case.  However something interesting has happened since I got out of high school (which was 20+ years ago).  I discovered that women’s opinion of what they want change.  When the most popular guy in the school struggles to hold a job, doesn’t appreciate her the way he should and never really does things for her, all the sudden her opinion of being with the “popular” guy changes.  

Just a side note for everyone struggling with this issue who is in high school today.  One day after you graduate high school popularity will mean nothing.

Anyway over the course of time the “nice guy” starts to look much more appealing.  What girl doesn’t want to feel special and be with someone who treats her like she is a princess?  Does that sound like a fairy tale?  Well to some degree in real life it is but I think that we guys can be nice and treat ladies the right way.  See guys, here is what I found out.  When you are over 30 and a woman tells you that you are a nice guy, that is no longer the kiss of death.  In fact, it can be just the opposite because a lot of times that lady is so tired of being with someone who doesn’t treat her right that she is actually longing for a nice guy.

I am dating a truly amazing woman.  She is everything I want and so much more.  She is elegant, classy, beautiful, funny, smart, intelligent and I could go on for a while.  When   one of my friends met her, his first comment was how is she even available to date?  Another friend told me that I had far “out kicked my coverage.”  That’s a football term but it is a high compliment for her.  Another friend of mine asked me if she was as pretty on the inside as she was on the outside.  On a scale of 1 to 10 she is an 11.  And here she is attracted to me!  I still find that hard to believe.  But I bet you if you asked her what attracted her to me one thing she would probably say is that I am a nice guy.

That’s another Opinion of the Minion.

Do Nice Guys Finish Last? (Part 1)

Today I want to talk about something I have heard more than once.  Have you ever heard the saying, "Nice guys finish last"?  Well I have and for a long time I sort of thought it was true.  But I have to tell you that at age 40, that's not true at all.

Before we get to the nice guy part, which I may have to address in the next blog, we need to distinguish between being nice and being a door mat for other people.  See for many years I considered myself a nice guy and I really am one.  Before everyone gets all wound up, I don't say that with conceit in my heart.  If you asked my mom or any of my friends they would probably tell you the same thing.  If you asked God I know he would tell you that.

So as a nice guy, here is the mistake that I made.  I have always wanted to be considered one of the good guys.  Several months ago I started dating an amazing woman and I have met several of her friends and family.  They all seem to have a very high opinion of me and that really blesses me.  It doesn't bless me because I want everyone to think highly of me, although I do.  It blesses me because it says that there is evidence of me becoming the person I have always wanted and that other people can see the evidence.  That is truly a blessing.

However, for many years I thought that I was only a nice guy if everyone else around me said so.  In other words if I did something that was unpleasant to someone else and they didn't like me, it meant that I was not a nice guy.  Let me give you an extreme example.  This example is made up and I would not have felt bad about it but hopefully you will see my point.  If a guy was robbing a gas station, I might not have called the police because I was afraid the guy holding up the gas station would not like me.  If he didn't like me then I must not be a nice guy because my definition of being a nice guy centered around everyone else liking me.  That sounds pretty silly right!  Of course it is!  But how about me letting people use me occasionally and take advantage of my generosity because I didn't want them to get mad at me?  That happened a few times.  Now if you are my friend and/or family, I am not pointing fingers at anyone and I am not thinking of anyone specifically so please don't feel like this is pointed at you.

I can even give you bible reference for some of my problem.  Jesus said if a man asks you to go a mile, go two.  Now we all know that Jesus is love so he must be a nice guy.  If Jesus said to do it, then I should do it.  After all, I am trying to imitate Jesus.  Or how about the time Jesus said, blessed are the peace makers. Jesus also said that strife was bad.  So my philosophy was to keep the peace, avoid strife and give more to people than what they asked.  Sounds good right?  Well, I got very out of balance in this area and it took me several years to understand this.

So what is the difference between the two situations I discussed.  When I talked about people who think I am a nice guy, I know that I am one.  Wether or not someone else notices doesn't change that fact.  In the other case, I used what others thought to define me.

So what am I trying to say?  Before I get to whether or not nice guys finish last, we have to define "nice guy."  A nice guy is someone who is helpful to others, respectful, caring, understanding, etc.  Now I may not be all of those things yet but I am striving to be.  Just because everyone doesn't like me or I do something that makes someone else unhappy, doesn't make me any less of a nice guy.  I guess this all gets back to defining yourself by who you are and what the bible says you are, not what other people think of you.  Next time I will talk about whether or not nice guys finish last.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

You're Not Finished

Today I want to talk about something that I have been thinking about for a couple of weeks.  Most of the people who read this blog are young people but there some of us who are a little older.  Regardless of where you are in the journey of life, I want you to know that God's not finished with you yet.

I see people everyday who are not very successful.  Many of them feel like there lot in life is to just maintain whatever their state of life is now.  Maybe they work a 9 to 5 job, come home and watch TV, go to bed and start it all again the next day.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with the scenario I just described because there is not.  But most of the time those same people had dreams and visions when they were younger that they let slip.  Maybe they wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer and when that didn't happen, they just sort of let life slip by without trying to do what they dreamed.  Maybe they got discouraged because of some failure and that caused them to stop trying.  Let me just say, that regardless of your age, God is not finished with you.

We hear a lot in the bible about a guy named Moses.  Now Moses was a member of the royal family of Egypt by adoption and he was an Israelite by birth.  He lived a pretty privileged life for the first part of his life but then he hit a snag and got stuck in the wilderness for about 40 years.  At eighty years of age, he could have just quit on life and coasted in for the remaining years of his life.  He could have said he was too old to do much and it was just his lot in life to work for his father-in-law and watch his kids/grand kids grow up.  There would have been nothing wrong with that except God needed him to lead the whole nation of Israel out of Egypt.  He didn't start into his ministry/calling until he was well past the age at which he could draw social security (they didn't have it back then though) but he decided that God wasn't through with him and he did what God called him to do.

I have a friend who is working on going to medical school.  He is in his mid/late 30s which is past the normal age for people to start medical school.  Some people might say that he is too old.  After all, he will be in his early 40s by the time he gets done with residency, etc., and starts his practice.  But understand this, in a few years he will be in his early 40s regardless of whether or not he goes to medical school so I say he might as well chase his dream.  He is going to be that age regardless.  In a way that is similar to Moses, he decided not to let age stand in the way of accomplishing his dream.

So let me ask you this - what is your dream?  Why aren't you pursuing it regardless of your age?  You are not too old for God to use you.  You are not too old to accomplish your dreams so get busy accomplishing them.  Regardless of how old you are, dare to dream big and chase your dreams.  You might say, "What if I don't accomplish my dream?"  Well I say, "What if you do!"

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing

OK I have written several blogs about how to handle situations in life that don't exactly go the way we want them too.  I wrote about not quitting in hard times and several other things along the same line.  But today I want to talk to you about what to do when things are going great.

Many of us have battled how much we weigh right.  When those pants start getting a little tight, we start watching what we eat.  We start skipping dessert and cutting down our food portions until our clothes with the way we want them too, right.  There are all sorts of other areas where this applies.  How about when you hit a crisis?

I know there are places in my life and situations that are challenging to say the least.  When I hit tough places, I normally turn to my bible and begin to trust God in whatever area I need the help.  If my financial picture changes for the worse, I quit spending so much money, etc and I believe God to deliver me out of that situation.  But what should we do when things are going well?

Keep the main thing the main thing.  In my life things are going really well right now.  I am in a great relationship with a wonderful woman, my kids are doing well, my business is continuing to increase and in general life is very good.  What I noticed recently was that I quit seeking God as much as I was doing when things were not as nice.  I quit being as vigilant to do the right things with my life, etc.  Since He is the reason my life got better, doesn't it make sense that I continue to seek Him when times are good?  I think so.  He is my main thing.  But because He is the main thing, everyone else in my life benefits from my being near Him.

I have learned to be more loving and caring, to be smarter at work, to see needs better.  In short, I am continually transformed more into his image when I keep the main thing the main thing.  Now I am not saying that I am perfect by any stretch of the imagination.  The woman that I am dating says that we all get to be human and I think that is so appropriate.  But I am telling you that I am learning more and more every day to keep my focus in the right place.

Guess what, when we keep our priorities right and continue to do what we know to do, the number of valleys we have to go through will decrease.  Why?  Because sometimes the reason we wind up in the valley is because we are looking at the sky and fall off the road all on our own.  We quit paying attention to the small path leading us to the top and wind up in a mess.

So remember, Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Recharge Your Batteries

Hello everyone,

This post should benefit me as much as anyone.  Today I want to talk to you about recharging your batteries.  Before I get to how, let me explain what type of batteries I am talking about.  Today lets talk about your emotional batteries/love tank.  This is the part of you that allows you to give to others.  "Well I don't give to other's that I know of," you might say.  That's probably not true but if it is, you need to change that part of your life.  See true happiness lies in giving.  I will tell you of one special place I got to give in a few minutes and the impact I think it had.

So let me reiterate something I have said many times before.  You do give into other's lives every day whether you realize it or not.  Mothers, you give into your children's lives constantly, every day, day in and day out.  Fathers, we do the same thing.  Children you are constantly giving into other children's lives.  My children try to give into each other's lives every day but I keep telling them that giving hits and kicks isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Now let me say that I do consider myself a giver.  In general if you asked the people who are close to me, they would probably use that word to describe me.  I don't say this to be arrogant because I certainly know that if God didn't give into my life, I would have nothing to give anyone else.  I'm not talking about money only although that is certainly important.  But one thing that I have noticed about me is that after I give out for a while, I can fall into a funk of sorts if I am not careful.  This is when I feel myself being the most selfish.  I try hard not to let those selfish feelings translate into actions but they are there.  Now we know that feelings signal needs.  So what did I need?  I needed my tank to be refilled or my batteries for giving and loving to be recharged.

Doesn't this make sense.  How many of us have a cell phone?  If we use and use it without ever plugging it into the wall, what will eventually happen?  It will quit.  The screen will just go blank and it will be useless to everyone.  But if you plug it into the wall then after a time, you can listen to music, play games, make phone calls and do all the other things that phones do these days.

Well we are the same way.  I remember one day I was out playing golf at a local golf course.  I was alone and I was using my phone to listen to music while I walked the course.  I was really in a sour mood but I didn't know why.  Then the phone rang and I remember yelling at the top of my lungs at the phone (I didn't answer the phone so the person on the other end never knew this happened) - "What the ___ do you want from me!!  I've got nothing else to give!!!!!  Yes, I did use a cuss word and I shouldn't have.  See, at that point, I felt completely empty and I needed to refill my tank but I didn't know why or how.

I have been through this a couple of times recently to a very very much less degree but I believe the Lord has shown me that when I get to a place like this, it's time to plug in and recharge my batteries.  For me, this means going to Him.  I remember getting very frustrated at people that were close to me because they weren't giving me what I needed but it really wasn't their place to give me what only God could.  So I have learned that as I give out, it is important for me to go to God and replace what I give with what He gives.  When I do this it gives me the opportunity to bless others like the young lady I had the opportunity to bless this week.  I think I left her speechless and I guarantee you I had as much fun giving as she did receiving.

I hope this blesses you as much as it blesses me.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

You Want to Do Something for Me?

OK everyone, today I want to talk about something that is very difficult for me.  It is hard for me to let other people bless me.  As I have said before, I am divorced and obviously my marriage wasn't a great one or I would still be married.  One thing I learned through the process is that I didn't want my ex-wife to do anything for me.  Now this is probably just my perception but it always seemed like if I let her do something for me, it would come back to me in a negative way.  I really think this was just my perception and in fact she said more than once that I didn't let her do things for me.

I don't want to rehash my divorce but I do want to talk about this whole issue for a few minutes.  I am in a relationship now with a remarkable person.  I have learned much from her and am thankful for her.  One of the things that I struggled with as we started dating was letting her do things for me.  This next part may sound conceited but I don't mean it that way.  I think I am just stating a fact.  I am a good guy and I really like her so it is natural for me to do nice things for her.  But for whatever reason, it was not natural for me to let her do much in return.  Fortunately, I am finding balance now. 

There is one particular instance that really made me understand my problem.  I was at her house one day and she decided that she was going to fix us a meal.  I sat at the table watching her work on our meal and it made me extremely uncomfortable.  To alleviate this, I asked a few times if I could help with something and she very sweetly and politely said no.  She just wanted me to sit there and we talked.  This made me even more uncomfortable.  I really didn't like not helping with some part of the process.  I think I felt that if I did some of the work then I would "earn" my right to enjoy dinner.

Now I have done things for her that I would not let her help me do because I wanted to bless her.  Again, I don't mean this as bragging.  But when the shoe was on the other foot, I was really not interested in just letting her bless me.  That was very selfish on my part.  Fortunately, I didn't say anything and we had a great meal.  How rude would it have been for me to want to bless her but not allow her to bless me back.  She is a very giving person and I wanted to stifle her giving.  Well I am learning to enjoy being blessed as much as I get to be a blessing now.

Before I get to the main point of this blog, let me say this.  We cannot always sit back and "let others bless us" without being a blessing to them.  That's called being lazy and probably a little narcissistic.  I am not saying that I should sit back and do nothing while she "serves" me.  The mere thought of that turns my stomach.  What I am telling you is that we need to be balanced in this area.

So let me get to the main point here.  Just like I was trying to justify enjoying my meal with my girlfriend, many times we do the same thing with God.  Did you know that when you ask God to forgive you, He does it immediately.  He doesn't put a tickler in your personal file and then get around to forgiving you next week.  That's not the way he works.  Here is another thing about forgiveness.  We cannot earn it.  It is a gift.  Yet how many times do we try to earn our forgiveness from the Lord just like I was trying to earn the right to enjoy dinner?  Have you ever decided to feel bad about something for several days as a "punishment" for what you did?  I hear about people doing this type of thing all the time but that's not the way God looks at it.  You should feel sorry when you do something wrong but don't think you can earn your forgiveness.

Here is another thing that I learned.  God wants to bless us all the time.  He prepared a way for us and has a great plan for each of our lives.  And yet we still ignore his plan preferring to do things on our own.  I am not against doctors and if I am sick I will go to see one but what about going to God and receiving the gift he already gave us for healing?  Why do we feel that we should not let God help us and that we need to do things on our own?  God is such a giving God and he loves you very much.  Look around today for his help and when you find it receive it.  You didn't do anything to earn it, yet he gives you gifts and that's not only OK, it's the way he designed things.  So I hope we all can learn from my issue.  It's OK to let people do nice things for you (assuming their motives are good) and it's really OK to let the Lord do nice things for you.  We can't earn them; we can enjoy them.

That's another Opinion of the Minion