The Box

Hello everyone,

Today I reposted what I believe to be the most significant thing I have ever said.  The post is called, the Box.  Recently my girlfriend and I were discussing homosexuality and I will not discuss whether it is right or wrong.  You have a bible, find out for yourself.  But I do want to stress that hate for people of that lifestyle is totally wrong.  See our job isn't to judge it's to love.  If you look at thing's through the lense of the Box, it will change the way you look at people.  So, here's the Box.




I have given this a lot a of thought and I believe that the Lord showed me something that changed the way I view people.

You see, when God creates a person he gives them abilities, passions, desires, talents and all sorts of wonderful attributes that we seldom ever see. Then he takes all these things and puts them in a box with silver wrapping paper and very pretty red ribbon tied in a bow around it. He calls the box - You. It is a present to the world. When I saw this for the first time, I looked around at all the people walking by and said to myself, "Merry Christmas!" because all I could see were beautiful boxes waiting to be opened.

The problem is many people don't even know what is in their own box much less have taken the time to look in someone elses box. This starts when we are in school. As we grow up, we learn all kinds of new things about ourselves: what we like, what we don't, the changes that our bodies go through, we learn things in school about the world and we learn about social interaction. But sometimes that social interaction teaches us that the stuff in our box isn't all that important.

Have you ever felt like the stuff inside you doesn't really matter? Can you look back to a point in your life where you were doing something you really enjoyed and someone else called it or you stupid or worthless?

When you pull the most precious parts of your life out of the box and let other people see them, it is scary because you are definitely vulnerable at that point. But know this, the Lord put all those wonderful things inside and they are of great price and value. Don't let someone cheapen what is so precious by their comments.

Everyday, I see people who are alive but aren't living. I think it is because they have told themselves that the treasures in their box aren't important or worth much so they don't do anything with them. They may not have done this openly but below the surface it happens. You have to know that if God took the time to create you and put all those treasures inside you, they are important both to him and to me.

When was the last time you looked in your box and pulled out something you truly enjoyed and used it? When was the last time you opened the box? When was the last time you were passionate about anything? Are you so caught up in the rat race that your box isn't important any more?

Here is another interesting question - When was the last time you opened up someone else's box to see who they really are and celebrate the gifts inside them? Do you always know what is wrong with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids, friends, parents, family, coworkers but never look inside the box for what is so awesome about them?

Husbands, what would happen if instead of criticizing your wife, the next time you saw her, you decided to look at something that was so precious to her, so beautiful, so tender, so amazing and something she loved about herself? What would happen if you nurtured that gift and encouraged it to grow? What would happen if, after you opened her box, she decided that your box was the most special one on earth and decided to touch the core of who you are? What if you both decided to go deep in your relationship?

Boyfriends, what if you looked at her and decided that you wanted more than just what was inside her clothes, you wanted what was inside her heart. Girlfriends, what if you decided that you wanted the same thing? What if you wanted to explore who they are and make them the best person they could be while they did the same thing to you? What if you looked at them and asked, "What can I give?" instead of "What can I get?"

Is this a little intense? Yes. Is it worth it if just one person decides to open their box or open someone elses? Yes. You see, I believe that I got to see a little glimpse of the creation through the creator's eyes when He showed me this. It was truly an eye opening experience and I can definitely say I will never be the same. I got to see how He looked at and longs for His creation to be all that we can be and how His love for us goes so deep His heart aches for us.

So I guess the real question is what is in your box? I want to know.

That's the Opinion of His Minion

GIGO

Hello everyone,

Today I want to talk about something I relearned just recently.  It's the concept of GIGO.  "What does that mean," you ask.  It stands for Garbage In Garbage Out.

Let's think about computers for a minute.  We all know that two plus two equals four right.  Well what would happen if we programmed a computer to say that two plus two equals five?  If we did that, every time we asked the computer how much two plus two equals, it would tell us five.  And it would be wrong every time.  So what happened?  We put the wrong stuff in the computer and it gave us the wrong answer.  Guess what, it will consistently give us the wrong answer until we take the time to reprogram it.

So what did I relearn about this and why?  Well as you know, I normally talk about life and how to live it better.  I try to be very positive and upbeat about everything and most of the time I am.  Do you know why?  Because I try to feed on upbeat and positive stuff.  Now I'm not saying for one minute that I am perfect at it but as a rule, I don't allow my mind to feed on things that aren't edifying.

Now I can already hear some of you saying, "Well you must live in a dream world.  I bet your one of those people who can't see the bad stuff that is happening right in front of your face!"  Not so - I absolutely recognize that there is bad stuff going on around us.  But if I can't do anything about it, then I really don't want to hear much about it.  I stay informed about the issues to some extent but there have been more than one "crisis" that I completely missed out on because I didn't know it was happening.

Let me tell you one place I try to avoid - the evening news.  Do you know why?  Because it normally goes something like this: three stories about bad things happening to people locally, commercial, one more bad story, the weather, commercial, sports and then it's over.  What a waste.  I would pay money to see a news guy come on the TV and say, "Tonight folks, we really don't have anything news worthy to report so here is the weather (if you live in Texas in August, that's not necessary - we all know it's hot!) and the sports.  Now we are going to skip to Wheel of Fortune twenty minutes early."  Am I saying that you shouldn't watch the news?  Certainly not.  What I am telling you is to spend quality time focusing on good things in your life.

Let me tell you another example.  I have always had a can do attitude for the most part.  I believe that I can accomplish almost anything I set my mind to do.  For the most part, I have seen that come to pass in my life.  So answer this question - What do you say/think about yourself?  Do you say that you can't do it or that you are just too stupid?  The chances are you won't accomplish what you want because you are feeding yourself a lie and telling yourself you can't.  Here's the funny thing about a lie - If you say it long enough, you will start to believe it.  When that happens, you are in serious trouble.  Yet, on the positive side, when you confess that you can do it, you might not believe it at first but keep at it.  If you continue to feed your mind with the positive stuff, eventually it will come to pass.

I remember when I was 350 pounds.  I weighed that for several years.  Then one day, I started saying that I weighed 205 pounds and guess what - Nothing happened.  I still weighed 350 pounds.  I think I said I weighed 205 pounds for a year or two before anything changed but it did.  I finally lost the weight. 

So where did I have to re-learn the lesson?  Well, at the end of June of this year, the Lord instructed me to stop listening to country music and to listen to only christian music for the entire month of July.  Before anyone gets mad, I am not saying that country music is garbage but it is not as uplifting as christian music.  As a matter of fact, I still like country music and I listen to it a little now but the Lord was preparing me for a couple of trials that he knew I would face in July.  Both were definitely learning experiences for me.  See I needed to be extra careful what I was feeding my brain so that when the time came, I would be strong enough to handle what I faced.

Let me sum it up like this.  Your brain is an organ in your body.  What you feed it will definitely effect how it works.  Now I am not talking about physical food although that is important.  I'm talking about thoughts and words.  What you listen to and say about yourself will absolutely make a difference in your life.  So pay attention to what you feed it!  You're worth far too much!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Be You

Today I want to deal with another subject that grew out of a very sensitive conversation that I had with someone recently.  As in my last post, I will not go into the situation because it was a very sensitive one and it could cause the person who talked to me harm even though I don't think anyone involved reads this blog.  I am not sure why people want to talk to me but it seems that they do.  (If I am fortunate, it is because people see the love of God come through me to them).

Let me use an example from my own life to illustrate my point.  When I was married, I changed a lot.

Some of it was for the better - I was a financial train wreck waiting for a place to come off the tracks for many years of my life.  As a matter of fact, some people who knew me back then thought I was crazy for going to law school because I was so irresponsible that they didn't think I could make it through.  Eventually I changed over time and grew out of that which is a very good thing.

I also became a father.  That was definitely a change for the better.  When the movie, Courageous came out I watched it and my heart broke.  I realized then that I did not know how to be a great father and I really wanted to be one.  Now I don't think I am a bad dad but I definitely know I can improve.  But being a dad for the first time definitely changed me in a good way.

But I also changed in some not good ways.  I quit being myself because part of me seemed to always make my ex-wife mad.  The Bible says that people who make peace with other people will be blessed so I always tried (most of the time unsuccessfully) to make peace with her.  But in doing so, I lost touch with part of who I was.  I was never really comfortable around her.  I don't think that she was responsible for this.  As a matter of fact, there are parts of me that I should have refused to change because they were really who I am. 

As an aside, don't use this as an excuse to be mean or act inappropriately to anyone.  I can hear some guy saying, "Well I just like a lot of girls.  That's part of who I am so it's OK for me to date other girls while I am married to someone."  NO I am not saying that.  Quit being a jerk.

But what I am telling you is that you need to be true to who you really are.  If you like football, that's OK as long as it doesn't rule your life.  If you like romantic movies, that's OK as long as it doesn't rule your life.  See it is important to stay true to yourself.  Don't let people change you to the point that you don't even recognize you anymore.  That's a mistake.  Now I have decided to just be me.  That doesn't mean that everyone has to like me.  Some people probably don't but that's OK. 

So I want to leave you with this.  Stay true to who you are.  Be you.  Do the right thing even when it's not popular but be you.

That's Another Opinion of the Minion

Do Nice Guys Finish Last? (Part 1)

Today I want to talk about something I have heard more than once.  Have you ever heard the saying, "Nice guys finish last"?  Well I have and for a long time I sort of thought it was true.  But I have to tell you that at age 40, that's not true at all.

Before we get to the nice guy part, which I may have to address in the next blog, we need to distinguish between being nice and being a door mat for other people.  See for many years I considered myself a nice guy and I really am one.  Before everyone gets all wound up, I don't say that with conceit in my heart.  If you asked my mom or any of my friends they would probably tell you the same thing.  If you asked God I know he would tell you that.

So as a nice guy, here is the mistake that I made.  I have always wanted to be considered one of the good guys.  Several months ago I started dating an amazing woman and I have met several of her friends and family.  They all seem to have a very high opinion of me and that really blesses me.  It doesn't bless me because I want everyone to think highly of me, although I do.  It blesses me because it says that there is evidence of me becoming the person I have always wanted and that other people can see the evidence.  That is truly a blessing.

However, for many years I thought that I was only a nice guy if everyone else around me said so.  In other words if I did something that was unpleasant to someone else and they didn't like me, it meant that I was not a nice guy.  Let me give you an extreme example.  This example is made up and I would not have felt bad about it but hopefully you will see my point.  If a guy was robbing a gas station, I might not have called the police because I was afraid the guy holding up the gas station would not like me.  If he didn't like me then I must not be a nice guy because my definition of being a nice guy centered around everyone else liking me.  That sounds pretty silly right!  Of course it is!  But how about me letting people use me occasionally and take advantage of my generosity because I didn't want them to get mad at me?  That happened a few times.  Now if you are my friend and/or family, I am not pointing fingers at anyone and I am not thinking of anyone specifically so please don't feel like this is pointed at you.

I can even give you bible reference for some of my problem.  Jesus said if a man asks you to go a mile, go two.  Now we all know that Jesus is love so he must be a nice guy.  If Jesus said to do it, then I should do it.  After all, I am trying to imitate Jesus.  Or how about the time Jesus said, blessed are the peace makers. Jesus also said that strife was bad.  So my philosophy was to keep the peace, avoid strife and give more to people than what they asked.  Sounds good right?  Well, I got very out of balance in this area and it took me several years to understand this.

So what is the difference between the two situations I discussed.  When I talked about people who think I am a nice guy, I know that I am one.  Wether or not someone else notices doesn't change that fact.  In the other case, I used what others thought to define me.

So what am I trying to say?  Before I get to whether or not nice guys finish last, we have to define "nice guy."  A nice guy is someone who is helpful to others, respectful, caring, understanding, etc.  Now I may not be all of those things yet but I am striving to be.  Just because everyone doesn't like me or I do something that makes someone else unhappy, doesn't make me any less of a nice guy.  I guess this all gets back to defining yourself by who you are and what the bible says you are, not what other people think of you.  Next time I will talk about whether or not nice guys finish last.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing

OK I have written several blogs about how to handle situations in life that don't exactly go the way we want them too.  I wrote about not quitting in hard times and several other things along the same line.  But today I want to talk to you about what to do when things are going great.

Many of us have battled how much we weigh right.  When those pants start getting a little tight, we start watching what we eat.  We start skipping dessert and cutting down our food portions until our clothes with the way we want them too, right.  There are all sorts of other areas where this applies.  How about when you hit a crisis?

I know there are places in my life and situations that are challenging to say the least.  When I hit tough places, I normally turn to my bible and begin to trust God in whatever area I need the help.  If my financial picture changes for the worse, I quit spending so much money, etc and I believe God to deliver me out of that situation.  But what should we do when things are going well?

Keep the main thing the main thing.  In my life things are going really well right now.  I am in a great relationship with a wonderful woman, my kids are doing well, my business is continuing to increase and in general life is very good.  What I noticed recently was that I quit seeking God as much as I was doing when things were not as nice.  I quit being as vigilant to do the right things with my life, etc.  Since He is the reason my life got better, doesn't it make sense that I continue to seek Him when times are good?  I think so.  He is my main thing.  But because He is the main thing, everyone else in my life benefits from my being near Him.

I have learned to be more loving and caring, to be smarter at work, to see needs better.  In short, I am continually transformed more into his image when I keep the main thing the main thing.  Now I am not saying that I am perfect by any stretch of the imagination.  The woman that I am dating says that we all get to be human and I think that is so appropriate.  But I am telling you that I am learning more and more every day to keep my focus in the right place.

Guess what, when we keep our priorities right and continue to do what we know to do, the number of valleys we have to go through will decrease.  Why?  Because sometimes the reason we wind up in the valley is because we are looking at the sky and fall off the road all on our own.  We quit paying attention to the small path leading us to the top and wind up in a mess.

So remember, Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Recharge Your Batteries

Hello everyone,

This post should benefit me as much as anyone.  Today I want to talk to you about recharging your batteries.  Before I get to how, let me explain what type of batteries I am talking about.  Today lets talk about your emotional batteries/love tank.  This is the part of you that allows you to give to others.  "Well I don't give to other's that I know of," you might say.  That's probably not true but if it is, you need to change that part of your life.  See true happiness lies in giving.  I will tell you of one special place I got to give in a few minutes and the impact I think it had.

So let me reiterate something I have said many times before.  You do give into other's lives every day whether you realize it or not.  Mothers, you give into your children's lives constantly, every day, day in and day out.  Fathers, we do the same thing.  Children you are constantly giving into other children's lives.  My children try to give into each other's lives every day but I keep telling them that giving hits and kicks isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Now let me say that I do consider myself a giver.  In general if you asked the people who are close to me, they would probably use that word to describe me.  I don't say this to be arrogant because I certainly know that if God didn't give into my life, I would have nothing to give anyone else.  I'm not talking about money only although that is certainly important.  But one thing that I have noticed about me is that after I give out for a while, I can fall into a funk of sorts if I am not careful.  This is when I feel myself being the most selfish.  I try hard not to let those selfish feelings translate into actions but they are there.  Now we know that feelings signal needs.  So what did I need?  I needed my tank to be refilled or my batteries for giving and loving to be recharged.

Doesn't this make sense.  How many of us have a cell phone?  If we use and use it without ever plugging it into the wall, what will eventually happen?  It will quit.  The screen will just go blank and it will be useless to everyone.  But if you plug it into the wall then after a time, you can listen to music, play games, make phone calls and do all the other things that phones do these days.

Well we are the same way.  I remember one day I was out playing golf at a local golf course.  I was alone and I was using my phone to listen to music while I walked the course.  I was really in a sour mood but I didn't know why.  Then the phone rang and I remember yelling at the top of my lungs at the phone (I didn't answer the phone so the person on the other end never knew this happened) - "What the ___ do you want from me!!  I've got nothing else to give!!!!!  Yes, I did use a cuss word and I shouldn't have.  See, at that point, I felt completely empty and I needed to refill my tank but I didn't know why or how.

I have been through this a couple of times recently to a very very much less degree but I believe the Lord has shown me that when I get to a place like this, it's time to plug in and recharge my batteries.  For me, this means going to Him.  I remember getting very frustrated at people that were close to me because they weren't giving me what I needed but it really wasn't their place to give me what only God could.  So I have learned that as I give out, it is important for me to go to God and replace what I give with what He gives.  When I do this it gives me the opportunity to bless others like the young lady I had the opportunity to bless this week.  I think I left her speechless and I guarantee you I had as much fun giving as she did receiving.

I hope this blesses you as much as it blesses me.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

My Way Is the Best

Today let's talk about the best way to do something.  What is the best way to do anything?  Why it's my way of course.  Don't we all feel that way sometimes?  My mom's side of the family is a great family and I love them dearly.  We are a really funny group.  As a matter of fact, the last time I was in Tennessee with several of us at my aunt and uncle's house, we laughed so hard and so long that my jaws were sore the next day.  It was a lot of fun.  One of the funniest times for me with my family is when someone is going from point A to point B.  For some reason, this always sparks a debate.

The issue is how to get from point A to B and everyone in the whole family has a different idea of the best way to get there.  Some prefer to avoid stop lights, some prefer to avoid the freeway and some simply know the best back way.  But one thing is certain, we all know the best way and most of the time we think our way is better than everyone else.  Now this is all in good fun and no one ever gets mad but it does illustrate a good point.  My way is always the best way to me.  Of all those different routes, one might be better than the others and guess what, mine might be the worst suggestion of the whole group.  So what should the person who is going from point A to B do with all these suggestions?  Take the best one - even if that person's isn't the best.

Obviously this type of thing isn't a big deal.  If I chose to take my directions instead of my cousin's or brother's or some one's the worst thing that will probably happen is it will take me a little longer to get where I am going.  But let's take this same philosophy and apply it to something more serious.  How about being a good parent?  As I have stated many times, my parent's are both good parent's and good people.  But one of the things I wanted most for my children was to raise them according to God's way.  My dad has only started attending church regularly in the last several years and growing up, God's word was not as central to our lives as it should have been.  Mom and Dad, I love you both and I am not throwing rocks at your parenting.

My oldest child is twelve years old and my youngest is almost eight.  I have always thought that I was a good day.  After all, I took them to church, provided a nice house and good clothes.  I even play with them although I should do that more.  So I thought I was doing the right thing as a father.  Have I made mistakes along the way?  Sure.  I am not married to their mom anymore and it took both of us to ruin a marriage.

However, last summer I went to see a movie called "Courageous" and it made me realize that I needed to make sure I was being the best dad I could so I bought several Christian books on the subject.  Here is one thing that I noticed I wasn't doing as well as I should.  One of the things that attracted God to Abraham was that Abraham would teach his children the ways of God.  I thought about it and decided that I needed to do more of that.  I needed to help my children understand God's ways so that they would be farther along in their walk with the Lord than I was at their age.  I also realized that my way of raising them needed help.

Let me give you a couple of other examples that I learned about my parenting skills.  I hate to call this person my girlfriend because at 40 years old that sounds strange but I don't know any better words.  Her name begins with D.  Now D is a really good mom.  I have watched her around her kids and realized that there were several things I needed to change about the way I was raising mine.  First of all I pretty much let my kids eat whatever they want.  Neither their mom nor I have ever consistently forced them to eat healthy and that is wrong on both of our parts.  I think we both gave in to them because we didn't want to hear all the complaining that the kids did when they didn't get their way so we let them have it.  That was not the best way to do things.  When people approached me to tell me they were concerned, I always rationalized the situation away.  But after listening to and watching D, it made me realize that I needed to change my ways of parenting.

On another front, I always let my kids drink whatever they wanted.  That wasn't good either.  Sometimes I would rationalize things again by saying I was too tired to deal with all the complaining.  But again, I listened to D and she helped me realize that my way wasn't the best way.  D, let me publicly say thank you for all you have taught me.  I needed every bit of it.

Let me close by saying this.  While the mistakes I pointed out in my own life may seem obvious to you, there are probably areas of your life that I can do the same thing in return.  See, we all have areas of our lives where we think our ways are the best and they aren't.  Be open to learning a new way and becoming a better you!

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Box

Today I want to revisit a topic that I have talked about several times but it was the real driver that started the Minion so I think it's worth looking at again.  I want to talk to you about the Box.  What is the Box?  Good question.  For me to answer that, I need to step back a several months.

Sometime around the end of May of last year, I was out walking down the Trinity River in Fort Worth.  At that point, I was really hurting because I wanted companionship so bad and I couldn't find it.  I was in the midst of finalizing my divorce which I have said may represent the greatest failure in my life.  My ex-wife and I had not been companions for many years and I really wanted that companionship.  I was lonely and it was not a fun time.  On top of that, I went through an emotional transformation that let all of the emotions I had closed off for many years out of the box at the same time.  I was not a pretty sight.  Well in the midst of this great change in my life, one of the most rewarding things I have ever done was birthed - this blog.  

As I started to write, I found an outlet for many of those emotions that I really didn't understand.  For the most part, I didn't want them and didn't think I needed them.  As I began to write these, the Lord showed me something that has revolutionized my life and I think I need a revival of this in my life.

See, God showed me something about how he does things.  In particular, he takes a box.  Now as I was walking that day, I saw it.  It is silver with a red ribbon around it.  The box and the lid are wrapped separately so that when you take the top of the box off, the ribbon and bow are still on the top while the wrapping paper and ribbon are still on the bottom as well.  It is truly a beautiful looking present.  God takes the lid off of this box and he starts loading it with all sorts of good things.  Once he is finished, he puts the lid back on and sends it to the earth as a present.  So guess what he puts in the box.  He puts in all sorts of wonderful gifts and amazing talents.  He puts kindness, compassion, love, generosity, and all sorts of good things inside this box.  He truly loves the people on the earth and he wants to bless them. 

Now because He loves people so much, He is constantly sending these boxes to the earth.  He takes great care to make each one unique and each one is perfect in his eyes.  Then after he has added His tenderness and joy to this gift, He sends it to the earth.  Do you know what he calls it?  He calls it - YOU!  He cares so much about others that He sent you here and when He did, He made you perfect in His eyes.  There are so many times that other people look at us and we may feel like we are inadequate or inferior in some way but we don't look at ourselves like God looks at us.  The Bible says, He is love.  Now we love people in many different ways.  We love our friends, we love our family, we love our children and we love that special someone in our lives but He is love.  We use love as a verb.  For God, it's a noun.  It's who He is.  And He is incapable of doing anything but loving you.  No matter what you think or others think, the creator of the whole universe thinks you are really special.  He thinks you are amazing and he intended for you to be a gift to the people around you.  He intended for you to be a blessing and He equipped you to do just that.  If you think you are not capable of blessing others, that is a lie from the devil.

So as you look at yourself, know that God made you the perfect Box full of all sorts of talents, abilities and capabilities.  Don't let anyone tell you any different!

Now I want to take this one step farther and leave you with this.  You know that person you don't like very much.  You know who I'm talking about.  The one who annoys you at school or the one at the office that just drives you up a tree.  Yup that's who I'm talking about.  God sent them to earth the same way he sent you and me.  He made them perfect and gave them amazing talents and abilities.  If this person doesn't particularly act right toward you, try to look inside them and see some of the good things that God placed inside them.  How about the person that everyone else calls a loser?  God made them too and He made them unique.  Guess what?  God has never ever made a loser.  He doesn't know how.  So when you see someone struggling, try to look inside their box and see the good things God has placed inside them.

That's another Opinion of the Minion 

Watch Out for Foxes

Today I want to talk about foxes.  It's funny because when I was a teenager we might call a pretty girl a fox but we don't call them that today.  Now while some guys might say that a pretty girl can certainly be trouble, I am not talking about them today.  However, I do want to talk to you about another type of fox.  The Bible says that little foxes spoil the vine.  I know this has been true in my own life.

Let me talk to you about a couple of things that happned to me in the last few days.  Yesterday I got up and went to the gym.  After I got done lifting weights, I went out for a run.  Well at least it should have been a run but my hips were hurting so I ended up running part of it and walking part of it.  Normally when I run, I let my mind sort of drift where ever it wants to go.  I think about my day and what needs to be done and the people in my life for the most part.  But yesterday was a little different.

My mind drifted to a couple of people and situations that I don't particularly like.  I envisioned myself confronting them and telling them exactly what I thought of them.  As I was doing this, I noticed that my mood started to darken a little.  I am generally a very positive person and I wasn't turning into Voldemort but I wasn't as positive as I normal.  Here is something else I noticed, I wasn't really all that upset with any of those people or situations, I was upset with the fact that my run was going extremely slow and that I was in a pain.  So the real question for me was how to let my thoughts effect my day.  If I continued down this path, I was destined to be in a bad mood the rest of the day.  These little foxes were going to spoil my day if I didn't do something.

At some other time, I will talk about the two Ts - Trust and Thankfulness.  For now, let me say that I had to trust God during my run and I had to consciuosly walk away from those thoughts.  When I did, my whole world brightened back up and I did enjoy the rest of my day.  While I am on the subject, let me say a word about the other T - Thankfulness.  I was out in the fresh air on a beautiful morning run/walking my normal six mile course.  The first several weeks of this year have been the best start of a year in at least the last 20 years of my life.  I have the most amazing woman in my life.  She has two kids who are truly a blessing to be around and I enjoy spending time with them.  I have three of the most amazing kids God ever gave anyone.  My business is going up and a new business that I started is really picking up.  For the first time in a long time, I feel great.  What's my point?  The Lord has truly blessed me.  God has been very good to Tommy!!

On top of that, both of my legs work just fine; I can see; I can smell; I can touch; I love and I am loved.  Let me take a side trip to relate a story that is pertinent to thankfulness.  On another morning I went out to run and had a bad time.  It wasn't a bad run but it was slower than I like.  After the fact, I was grumbling inside about life in general but the root cause of my grumbling was a bad run.  I was blaming other people for all kinds of stuff.  On the outside I was smiling and having a good day but on the inside I was throwing a temper tantrum like a two year old kid.  Eventually the Lord had enough of my unthankful attitude and He told me so.  You wouldn't have heard what He said to me because I heard it on the inside but it had a lasting effect.  He said, "You see that man over there in the wheel chair with no legs from the knees down?  He would almost kill someone to be able to go and do that "sorry" run you just did."  Well that jerked the slack out of me in a hurry. 

The same was true for my run the other morning, I trusted God to do what he said in his word and deliver me from those stupid thoughts (the foxes) that were running through my mind.  Once I put a stop to those, I went on to have a very productive day.

Let me wrap this up by asking, what little foxes are spoiling your vine?  Maybe you are faced with an annoying person or situation.  Maybe you are just allowing your mind to run all over the place like mine did.  Maybe you are just complaining too much.  Whatever it is, I want encourage you to take a hard look at it and make a conscious decision to walk away from it.  If you will focus on the positive things going on in your life, it will make the negative ones get so much smaller.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Why is It Always About You?

This is the title of a book I read on something called narcissism.  One definition of this word is an unhealthy love for ones' self.  Here's what I found really interesting about this.  According to the Bible, in the last days (before Jesus returns) people will be lover's of themselves.

Before I go any further, let me quickly say that I don't have one clue when Jesus will return.  I don't think the world is going to blow up tomorrow or that aliens are plotting with President Obama and the Chinese to overthrow Luxembourg or any of the other crazy rumors you hear these days.  I will also let you in on another secret.  I am not all that anxious for the Lord to return.  Let me tell you why.  Most of the people that I hear today who are anxiously awaiting God's return are also broke down, busted and disgusted people.  I don't want to be chased off this planet with my tail between my legs in Christ's return.  I want to finish my course and when I have been successful at everything that the Lord has for me here, then and only then will I be ready to move to Heaven.

However, I do believe that we are getting close to the return of Christ.  When will that be?  The bible says that God hasn't even told Jesus the exact time.  So if He hasn't confided the exact time in Jesus, I think it's a pretty safe bet that He isn't going to tell me either.

But I think I now understand what this whole concept of people being lovers of themselves means.  It means they will be narcissistic.  Is this a bad thing?  Yes.  Why am I bringing it up?  Because being around these types of people can be extremely unhealthy and there are going to be more and more of them on the earth.  If you are around friends who are like this, you may want to consider whether or not it makes sense to continue to hang around with them.  Also, we all need to check ourselves from time to time to see if we are acting this way.

The reason I find this so interesting is because I have talked to several people lately who were in counseling sessions (no, I am not a counselor) with other people who were diagnosed with this problem.  There is a healthy form of narcissism and I think we need to understand that it is OK to think about yourself and to take care of yourself.  But what we are talking about here is an unhealthy situation.

So let me give you a few things that are characteristics of narcissism:
1.  Like the title of the blog, for some people everything in their life has to be about them.  They can never talk or do anything that doesn't relate to themselves.  They also have to be first priority over everyone else.
2.  Most of the time, they don't apologize when they do something wrong or their apology is a very sarcastic one.  The reason this happens is that a narcissist believes their world is completely perfect and that they are perfect.  They have a hard time understanding that it's OK to have imperfections.  But like we have discussed before, no one is perfect.
3.  They project anything negative onto other people.  This sort of goes hand in hand with number 2.  If someone tells them that they are wrong about anything, someone else is always to blame for them being wrong.  For example, if you tell a narcissist that they were rude to a store clerk, the narcissist will always blame someone else for why they were rude.
4.  They rarely have the ability to make anyone else happy unless they are completely happy.
5.  Because they have to keep their world perfect, you cannot tell them that they are a narcissist because it would mean that they have an imperfection.

There are others and if you feel like someone in your life really has this problem, I encourage you to get the book with that title and read it.

So why am I telling you all this you ask?  Because these types of people can be very draining.  If you have friends like that, you might want to seriously consider whether or not the friendship is worth it.  If we stay in friendships like that, they are very draining on us and can ultimately do us a lot of emotional harm.

But here is the other reason I wanted to write about this.  I want you to take a look at those five items again.  Now this is going to be very hard because if you have a problem, then it will be difficult for you to admit to this particular one.  But I want you to ask yourself honestly if any of those things apply to you.  I don't want you to be overly critical of yourself.  Just because you came up with an excuse for something you did yesterday doesn't make you a narcissist.  However, if you can't admit that you are wrong, you do have a big problem.

See I was like that for a long time in a couple of areas.  I could not admit that I had a problem with food and I could not admit that I had a problem spending money.  Both were true but this was especially true with money.  I was a financial disaster.  It hurt not only me but also my family and I could not admit to myself that I had a problem.  Finally for me, I had an incident happen that actually woke me up.



That's another Opinion of the Minion

Wait

Ok, I have touched on this subject in different posts but I want to illustrate it again because it's a lesson I am continually being re-taught.  Today I want to talk to you about waiting.  This can be a very hard thing to do and it is especially hard at times for me.

Ladies let me help you understand something about men.  When we are presented with a problem, our first thought is fix the problem.  I know that many times ladies want to discuss the problem just to get their feelings out.

Men, this is a good thing and we cannot change them.  We will make them much happier if we learn to listen to them when they are expressing themselves.  Many times when a woman is telling us about a problem, she is just wants to express her emotions.  This is a good thing and we as men, need to be more in touch with the emotions that are inside us.  When a woman tells you about something that is bothering her, don't try to fix it unless she asks you to.  The more you learn to empathize with her, the better your relationship will be.

However ladies, you need to understand the way we operate.  God wired us to solve problems so if you present us with a problem that you just want to talk about, you can help us help you but letting us know up front that's what you want.  For either sex, if we expect our partner to read our mind, we are setting ourselves up for failure.  Why do you think God gave us mouths?  He intended for us to speak.

So judging by this you would think that I had an issue with the amazing woman that I am dating right?  Well, you would be wrong.  We communicate very well.  The issue I had was an internal one that I had to discuss with God.  Now this particular issue that I was working through was really not a big deal.  It didn't cause me a great amount of stress and it is certainly nothing critical now.  It is simply an issue that I know I will face at some point in the future.  When and where I am not sure at this point but I know I will face it.

So here was the problem, I was trying to figure out the answer to this particular issue today.  It wasn't even an important issue today and I wasn't spending a lot of time consciously thinking about it.  I could just sense it sort of floating around in the back of my mind.  I knew that even if I had the perfect solution, it was not the right time to do anything about the "issue."  I hate to use the term issue because it really wasn't yet.  But like I said, men see problems as a challenge and as you know most men enjoy challenges and for the most part I am no exception to the rule.  Are you ready for the revelation that the Lord told me.  It is of massive proportion.  Here's what he said - stop.

That's it, stop.  He didn't tell me to do anything but stop.  He brought this song to my mind.  It's called "Only Believe."  Some of the words are, "Only believe, only believe.  All things are possible.  Only believe."  I love this song.  But what He was telling me was to wait on Him.  He was telling me that He would give me the answer to this particular challenge when the time was right.  But today was not the day.

It took me a little time yesterday to let this sink in but when it did, it was liberating.  Sometimes the hardest thing to do is wait.  Sometimes we want to jump out and fix a problem without knowing how to fix it.  If we don't really know what God wants us to do, we can try to crack eggs with a sledge hammer.

So what am I saying today?  Here are some of the things the Lord reminded me of through this.  First, today has it's own things to deal with.  Sometimes we try to jump to far ahead.  What are you facing today?  Deal with that today and spend much less time worrying about tomorrow.  Tomorrow will have it's own stuff to deal with.  Second, it's so extremely important to simply trust God.  For this particular challenge, I don't have the answer but I know One who does.  I know that God will see me through every challenge.  Sometimes I just need to be reminded to trust Him.  Lastly, stop and wait.  There are going to be times when we have to just stop and wait.  It may not be our nature but it is the right thing to do.  I hope this helps someone.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Peace

Hello All,

Today I want to talk to you for a few minutes about peace.  This subject keeps coming up in my heart and it's my assignment for this post.  When I say peace, I'm talking about peace inside us.  I am not talking about world peace because while I believe that would be an amazing thing, I don't believe that we will see it until Jesus comes back.

However, isn't inner peace something we all want?  Have you ever heard a parent say I would just like a little peace and quite around here?  Have you ever been at a lake when the sun comes up in the morning?  I used to go to a lake west of Fort Worth and one of my favorite parts of the trip was the very early morning when the dew was still on the ground.  Most days you could see deer walk through the front yard going down to the lake to get a drink.  The birds chirped softly in the background and the temperature was still cool.  I loved it because I felt like I was at peace for a few minutes.  Getting the lake or the ocean still causes me to feel peaceful today.

Now let's talk about things that make us lose our peace.  There are people in my life that make staying peaceful difficult.  Normally it's because they aren't at peace and their actions can be really annoying.  I am sure there are people who would say the same thing about me at different points in life.  Are there people in your life like that?  Let's take it a step closer.  Are there members of your family like that?  For most people, the answer is probably yes.  That's sad but true.  Guess what, we can't do anything to change them.  One of my favorite prayers is the serenity prayer - God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Maybe there are circumstances in your life that cause you to lose your peace.  Do you have a bill that you don't know how to pay?  How about some other financial need that you don't know how to provide?  Maybe you have a low grade in school and don't know how to bring it up.  There are all kinds of circumstances in life that will cause us to lose our peace.  While this is a blog for a different day, let me say that there are ways to change our circumstances.  But many times we cannot change our circumstances instantly so what do we do while we are going through them?  How do we keep our peace?

Maybe the answer is that we can't.  Maybe we should just continue to blow a gasket every time someone or some circumstance causes us to feel stressed, etc.  Many of us would like to stop right there and use this as an excuse to blow up whenever we feel like it.  Now we should admit that we are mad.  Trying to pretend we aren't isn't good because it's a lie.  It's OK to feel mad or upset.  It's even OK to get mad but when we get upset we lose the peace inside us.  When we lose our peace, we are normally feeling stress.  When our body is under stress there are all sorts of bad things that happen over time.  Also, we feel anxious.

So what's the answer.  Well you may or may not like it but we have to chose to stay peaceful.  We have to make the decision that peace is something important to us and we have to protect it.  Now most of you know that I'm a Christian.  Jesus said that he gave me His peace.  It was a gift he gave to me but just like all of His gifts I have to chose to recieve it.  After I recieve it, I have to protect it.

If someone was breaking into your house to kidnap someone, would you try to stop them?  Sure you would.  I would even have tried to stop them from taking my little brother when we were kids.  Now PK, you are on your own.  Just kidding.

To me, inner peace is becoming more and more important.  It is definitely worth protecting.  There have been two instances in the last three days that have caused me to quit walking in the peace Jesus gave me.  In both instances, I had to decide that I was going to remain at peace regardless of the situation.  That is the real key, you have to decide that you are going to stay peaceful.  Yes, this is something you can do if you chose to do so.

The first time, I was driving out to pick up my kids.  As I got to a spot in the road where my lane merged with the lane next to me, the car in the other lane got in front of me and then started driving slower than I wanted to drive.  I don't really have road rage and I really didn't get super mad but it did aggravate me.  Now here's the great part of this story.  As I started to get mad, I recognized that I was losing my peace.  When it happened, I decided that it wasn't worth losing peace over and immediately let go of it.  Instantly I became much more peaceful.  I finally learned how to protect my peace and was successful doing it.  For me, this was a major break through.

The second time I got an opportunity to practice what I am saying to you happened about an hour ago.  I was faced with a situation that challenged me.  This one involved a person in my life.  I won't go into the situation but let's just say it was one that I have dreaded for some time.  I knew it was going to be unpleasant and involve drama that I did not create but nevertheless would have to deal with.  Because I have know for a while that it would have to come, it has caused me to lose my peace several times in the past.  Guess what, after the encounter today I lost my peace again.  However, this time I realized what happened.  It took me a few minutes in the fresh air to think through the situation and I decided that losing my peace and contentment was not something I wanted to do.  Honestly, I still don't know what to do with this person.  But I do know this, I will remain peaceful.  I have chosen not to let this person bother me.  If I can do it, you can too. 

To summarize, one of the most important things in life is inner peace.  It is something to be desired, achieved and then protected.  We have to chose to stay at peace regardless of our circumstances but it can be done.

That's another Opinion of the Minion 

Is It Real?

Today I want to talk about something that is a little strange to me.  The question is - Is it real?  Is what real, you ask?  When someone tells you something nice is it real?  Several months ago, I wrote a blog about the Box.  It was probably the most significant thing I have written thus far because it meant so much to me.  In this blog, I wrote about how we should look at the stuff that is on the inside of people and not the outside.  I think it is important to see the great things God has put in all of us.  Now it may have been the same blog or maybe not but I also wrote a little about how to take a compliment.

Recently, I have been around someone who has taken the time to take the lid off my box and see what's on the inside of me.  This person has been very complimentary of me and to be honest, it is a little unsettling.  I am not really sure how to take it.  She's used words to describe me like nice, sweet, caring, etc.  She even went as far as to say that I was a good man.  I am extremely grateful for the compliments and I believe that they are from the heart and sincere but they made me a little uncomfortable.  That made me consider my own actions a little.

When I am around someone, I try to be very positive.  I have worked hard to be someone who sees the best in others.  While I am not perfect, I feel like I have come a long way.  Like I have said before, I'm not where I want to be but thank God, I'm not where I used to be.  But I got a lesson today in how it feels to have someone do the same thing back to me.  Now it is unsettling but in a good way. 

I recently told someone that I thought they were a very special person and the response I got was not surprising.  That person basically said she struggled to believe what I was saying but she was working on believing it.  I have had this answer before in a different context and I wasn't shocked.  What surprised me a little was that this person didn't believe me.  Now she didn't think I was lying, she just found the nice thing I said difficult to believe.  At the time, I didn't understand why but now I think understand why she felt this way.

Have you ever been around someone who tells you one thing and then does another?  How about someone who tells you that they love you and then they do hateful things to you?  What message does that send?  Actions speak much louder than words so the actions certainly override the words.  Also, for some reason pain has a much more lasting effect on people than love.  At least on the surface this is the case.  So when we feel pain, the thought of it stays longer than love although love will impact you on a much deeper level.  But after someone hurts us, especially if it's for a long period of time, we really have a difficult time believing someone else when they say something nice.

Let me ask you this.  Has something happened in your life that makes it hard for you to believe things when people say nice things about you?  Maybe your self esteem is so low that it makes it hard for you to believe the nice things that people say about you.  The truth about the matter is that everything God ever made is amazing.  He made you and by definition that makes you an amazing person.  God wrote a whole book about you and how amazing you are.  The book says you were made in his image.  If someone tells you any different, ask yourself who's lying?  Is it them or God?  I choose them.  If someone tells you something good about you, it's probably true.  Now I do believe that we need to watch out for people who say nice things to manipulate us.  However, there are many people who just recognize the amazing gifts that God put in our box.  When that happens, let it soak through your skin like rain into the ground and get to your heart where it can grow into something amazing.

Today as we were walking, this person told me that I was pretty special.  I know what she says is sincere and I should have been able to believe her and just say thank you.  However, this is hard for me because it's hard for me to feel worthy of the compliment. There is a fine line between believing that we are worthy and being arrogant.  For years I have tried to hide behind humility to avoid compliments.  Now true humility is good and I try to be a humble person.  But I would avoid compliments or block them out because I didn't feel worthy of the compliment.  Instead of dealing wih not being worthy, I simply chose to believe that accepting a compliment could make me arrogant.

I am learning to accept these things from people and let them cause a harvest of good things to grow from my heart.  In truth, we all need to learn this lesson.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

The Love Tank

I am not sure if today's blog will be something truly meaningful to anyone but me.  However, today I want to reflect on something interesting in my life.

For the first time in some time, I am actually content.  Today I sat for a little while and thought about why.  What I came up with actually startled me a little.  There is an author named Gary Chapman who wrote a book called "The Five Love Languages."  It is a very good book and if you haven't read it, you might consider it.  Now in this book, he says that we all have a love tank inside of us and that we all have different things that fill our love tank.  While I'm not sure his list is all inclusive, I can't think of anything that would not fall into one of those five categories.

Also recently, I was talking to a very special person in my life and she made in interesting observation.  She said that her heart was full.  I remember at the time this struck me as something interesting.  She recently told me that she ponders things in her heart and I guess that I have been pondering that statement ever since. 

I think she was saying that her love tank was full and since I had read a copy of Gary's book that was directed at children, this concept really stuck out in my mind.  I don't believe in coincidences and I believe that the Lord was trying to show me something but it took me a little while to understand what.  See, I think for years that I have been running on a love tank that read - empty.  There are a many reasons for this and I certainly won't try to address them in this post but suffice it to say that is the way I have felt. 

Now have you ever heard the saying, what goes around comes around?  Well, I believe that is a true statement.  Some people call it karma but in all reality, it's a principal that comes from the bible.  The bible describes it as sowing and reaping.  In other words, what you sow, you are going to reap.  Most of the time we all think of this as doing something bad.  A while back, I played a little joke on my mom that we both laugh about and recently someone else played the same joke on me and we both laughed about sowing and reaping.  Have you ever hear of something bad happening to a bad person and then heard someone else say that person got what was coming to them?  Well, I think that can be true at times.

But what if the opposite was true?  What if when you do good things for people, that same type of stuff happens to you?  I almost find this hard to believe for many reasons but I know the bible is true and so it must be true that when I sow good stuff, I eventually reap good stuff.  For years I have tried to be someone who sows good stuff into other people's lives and didn't really see the results I thought I would see back.  I remember writing a blog this summer where I talked about breaking the cycle of being hurt and hurting other people.  In that blog, I talked about how Jesus was hurt by John the Baptist's death and how he helped people even though he was hurting.  I hope this doesn't come across as bragging because I am not.  This is just a point that needs to be illustrated.

As I sat here today, I realized that I truly was at peace.  I'm not restless, not in a hurry, not trying to figure out what to do tomorrow.  I'm just content.  Why am I content?  Because that love tank or my heart, however you want to classify it, is full.  Now I have always tried to be a giver but I can tell you that when your heart/tank is full it is much easier to give than when it's on empty and you are doing it out of obligation.  There is someone who will read this and know that they are one of biggest reasons my tank is full.  To that person, let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart.  That wasn't the only source that filled my love tank but it was the biggest.

So what can we learn from this?  Well there are a few things that I can think of.  First of all, keep doing good things for people.  If you do that, sooner or later things will start coming your way.  They used to sing a song in church and one of the lines was, "You've gotta keep on casting your bread upon the water.  Soon it's gonna come back home on every wave."  This is true in life.  Second, don't quit.  My mom sent me a link to a blog by Pastor Bob Nichols and the first line said, "Don't quit on your first day and don't quit on your worst day."  I like that a lot.  Sometimes, you will wonder what's taking so long for the good things to start happening in your life but don't quit.  They will come if you keep at it.  Lastly, for now, it's OK to be happy.  This content feeling bothered me because I was so used to not feeling it, it took a couple of days to get used being content and understanding that it was OK to feel this way.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

Believe in Yourself

Today I want to encourage you to give yourself a tremendous gift this Christmas season.  Believe in yourself.  That may seem pretty hard to do.  I know it is for me sometimes.  Now when it comes to what other people think, I guess I look pretty "successful" but there are times when I have trouble believing in myself.

There are going to be times in your life when this is a very difficult thing to do.  Especially during the holiday season, it can be easy to get depressed and down if you let yourself.  My friend, Kari already posted something in her blog about this and I will try to deal with it later myself.

The reality is that you have to believe in yourself if you want to be truly successful and happy in life.  It is very easy for me to believe in other people and their abilities.  Do you think you can write a book?  I believe you can.  Do you think you can go to school and get a degree?  I believe you can.  Do you think you can overcome being overweight or some other addiction?  I believe you can.  Do I believe I can do any of those things?  Yes on the last two and I am working on the first one.  Now especially when it comes to writing, I didn't really believe that I was a writer until recently.  I must say I enjoy the experience.

Did you know that you can have self confidence in one area and lack it in another?  I know I do.  My daughter gave me a great glimpse this weekend of what self confidence looks like.  We were sitting at breakfast eating donuts when a mom walked through the door carrying a baby.  Many times when we see a little child, I tell the kids that they were once that small and we all laugh.  The mother had her back to us and the baby was big enough that he was holding his head up and it was above mom's shoulder.  Before I could say anything to my daughter, she said, "I was that big once."  She beat me to the punch and I smiled.  Then she leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "But I was cuter."  She obviously has no problem believing that she is a cute kid.  She certainly gets plenty of confirmation from everyone about this fact and that's good.

For me, I used to be fat but now I am not.  I must admit that I struggle in this area a little.  I don't have a bad self image but if a woman shows interest in me (for all my friends, yes it does happen occasionally), I have a hard time believing it.  That's not to say that it is an every day occurrence by any stretch of the imagination but it's nice when it happens.

I struggle to understand why it is so easy for me to have confidence in some areas and lack confidence in others.  I think it's because I am human (as much as I hate to admit it sometimes).  However, you have to believe in you before anyone else will.  Before anyone ever told me they appreciated the Minion, thought, I had to believe that I could write and do it.  Before anyone told me that I could lose weight, I had to believe that I could and change my lifestyle.  Before anyone ever believed I could go through law school, I had to prove to myself that I could.  Do you see the common thread?  Also consider this, if I had never took action on my belief, I would never have gotten anywhere in any of these areas.

See, faith in yourself or in God without works is dead faith.  You cannot truly believe in yourself without taking action in a specific area.  If I really do think I am a good guy, I should ask a girl out.  If I don't believe in myself enough to ask, how can I expect her to say she will?  And if I never ask, we know for certain that she never will.  Also, let me leave you with one more thought on the subject.  Let's take dating because the illustration seems clear to me right now.  If you want to go out with a girl and you never ask her out, you will never go out with her.  However if you ask her, she might turn you down but she might actually go.  Don't be afraid to fail forward.

So what am I trying to tell you?  You must believe in yourself and you must do so before anyone else will.  We will truly know if you believe in yourself by your actions.  Until your believe motivates you to act, it isn't really faith, it's still just hope.  So what are your dreams today?  Believe in yourself and give yourself a chance for success by taking a chance.

That's another Opinion of the Minion

My Oldest Son

In keeping with my theme for this month, I want to send another letter.  This one is to my oldest son.  I am so thankful for him.

Dear David,

As I write this, you are going through a hard transition in life.  Some of this is just part of life and some of it is because of your mom and I.  You are adjusting to 6th grade, changes in your attitude toward girls and unfortunately mom and I's divorce.  It is a lot for one kid to handle and I think you are doing such a good job.

As I look back on my how I have done as your father so far, I am a little sad because I know that I could have done much better.  I was just recently that I realized how little I knew about being a Godly father.  It is my whole heart's desire to teach you to be one in the few years we have left before you step out on your own.  I want to prepare you to be a Godly man.  If I can do that, I have succeeded beyond my wildest imagination for you.  The strange thing is I think in spite of all we have done, you are already becoming a very Godly young man.

I am so very proud of you.  Whether you know it or not, you started school when you were three years old because you had speech issues.  This was due to a hearing problem you had as a little tyke.  Now when I was in school kids in those classes were sort of looked down at and made fun of.  When I was in school, those kids barely made it through.  But not you.  You went from needing help with speech to all honors classes.  You are a really brilliant young man.  I also see things in you that I never could be at your age.  I look at you and see courage.

How?  Well, it took courage to ask that girl to the homecoming dance.  I would never, ever have done it because I would have been too afraid.  When we talked afterwards, you told me that your heart was pounding in your chest pretty hard and that even though when you asked her the dance had already passed, she was nice to you with her reply.  Son, I want you to remember that feeling and what you did.  There will be many more opportunities in life for you to feel that way and make a decision.  You are going to be in places where you risk rejection in your life.  It just happens.  But you possess that special quality called courage.  Don't ever change that.  Take risks because if you don't, you won't have rewards.  I know you didn't see it that way then but that's what you did and I am extremely proud of you.

Son, you are growing up so fast and it seems like it will only accelerate from here.  As you get older, I want you to understand something.  I heard a story about the head of the Salvation Army.  You know those guys who stand ringing the bell at Christmas time asking for donations.  Well they take those and use them to help people who need it.  One year, the head of the Salvation Army was going to send a telegram to all his offices around the world.  He wrote it out and then went to send it.  When he got to the telegraph office, he realized that it was too long and he had to cut it down.  So he trimmed it down to one sentence. Again, it was too expensive to send.  He finally trimmed it down to a single word - others.  Son, that's what our life is all about.  We are to help others.  You have to let the Lord show you who and how but always remember that's what life is about.  As you get older, you will see people who define success by how much education and money you have.  I thought the same way for a long time.  Don't get me wrong, money and education are important but not as important as people.  Think of others and ask the Lord to show you who you can help today.

Lastly, I want to talk to you about what you are going through in school today.  I know some of the kids make fun of you.  That really hurts your feelings and quite frankly, it just plain sucks.  When I was in school, kids did the same thing to me.  Grandma and Grandpa did they very best they could but I didn't wear brand name clothes like the rest of the kids and some people made fun of me a lot.  I also got made fun of because I had big ears and I had a lot of pimples.  It really hurt my feelings.  Son, as you go through these times, know that you were not alone.  Guess who else was made fun of and people talked bad about? - Jesus.  I guess that puts us in pretty good company huh.  You may not see it now but this will pass.  Just keep doing the right thing because it's the right thing.

I cannot begin to express how impressed I am with you.  You are smart, handsome, loyal, you love God, you aren't afraid to share your faith, you know how to build stuff, you always try to help your brother and sister, and you are a really respectful young man.  No matter what you do, know that I will always love you.

Love,

Dad

That's another letter from the Minion

Forgiveness

OK.  I have a confession to make.  I am writing this particular post for my benefit.  As you read it, I hope it helps you too.

Have you ever had one of those times when you really did something that you thought was wrong?  In the southern United States, we might say have you ever had one of those days where you showed yourself?  Well recently, I did something that I knew was wrong.  Now most people wouldn't consider what I did to be wrong but it was wrong to me and that's what matters in this case.  I did something I said I wouldn't do. At the very least I broke my word.  It was something that really bothered me for a while.

Now I did the right thing afterwards.  I went to the Lord and asked him to forgive me.  I was truly repentant meaning I didn't want to make the same mistake again.  Do you know what happened?  He forgave me immediately.  See his word says that if we confess our sins to him that he is faithful and just to forgive us.  He then takes the memory of our sin and puts it away.  If I had asked him five minutes later about the same sin, He would have purposefully forgotten what I was talking about and wouldn't discuss it.  Because in his mind that situation was over and done.  He didn't hold it against me.  To him it was as if the whole thing never happened.  Now if He is God, the ultimate judge and jury, and He forgave me, why is it I felt so bad for a few days and then why did the feeling bad go away?

Let me tell you my theory.  First of all, I believe you should be remorseful if you do something wrong.  I am not suggesting that we should just not care when we make a mistake.  That's not true.  The Lord will convict our spirits when we do something wrong.  The reason he does this is so we can repent and go the right direction.

So why did I feel so bad?  Punishment.  I think I needed to punish myself for what I did.  God didn't leave the condemnation on me, his conviction was gone as soon as I confessed what I did and asked for forgiveness.  I put all that one me.  And notice something else about what I did.  After a few days, I didn't feel bad anymore.  Today I wish I had done a few things differently but I don't feel bad about what I did anymore.  I mentally served my time.  I can also hear some of you getting upset because I don't feel bad now for doing something wrong.  I didn't say that I felt like it was right.  I just said stopped feeling bad.

So here is the thing.  I need to learn to forgive myself just as quickly as God forgives me.  Once I admitted I was wrong.  That should have been the end of the whole situation.  If God forgives me, I should forgive me too.

Let me ask you this.  When was the last time you did something "wrong"?  It may not be considered wrong to anyone else but you considered it to be wrong.  Did you ask God to forgive you?  If you did something to someone else, did you ask them to forgive you?  Now here is the real question.

Did you forgive yourself?

If you didn't, what are you waiting for?  Once you forgive yourself, forget it.  Try hard not to make the same mistake again but forget what you did.  It's over.  Sometimes that's easier said than done as I experienced recently but it is the right thing to do.

That's another Opinion of the Minion.

A Midsummer Minion's Dream

Today, I want to talk to you about dreams.  How often do you sit and dream?  I do it all the time.  I day dream about all kinds of situations in my life.  I have visions of what a right relationship would look like and see myself there.  I think dreaming is something important that we have missed in our lives.  I was in church on Sunday and heard this message.  Then I went back to a totally different church and heard the same message about vision and dreams on Sunday night.  Do you think God was trying to tell me something?  In the last couple of weeks I have had two very strong revelations from the bible about dreams.  So here we go.

We all have dreams.  As I have said before, when I was in high school, I dreamed of going to Annapolis and then on to fly F-14s for the US Navy.  Well that one didn't come to pass but that's OK.  Top Gun is still one of my favorite movies of all time.  I love the end because Tom Cruise overcomes tragedy and saves the day.  It's my kind of movie. 

I also dreamed about going to law school one day and becoming Perry Mason.  I was going to argue cases and be the greatest lawyer ever to walk the planet.  Well that partly happened.  I did graduate law school and technically I am a lawyer but I don't practice much.  If you have ever had me as your lawyer, you know I am no Perry Mason.  ;)  But I am happy with me and I am glad I went to school.  When I told people about my dream some of them said I would never make it.  Some said it to my face and some said it behind my back but that's OK.  That dream was working inside me and guess what, I made it.

Now here is a dream that I am going to share with you that I have never made public.  Only a few people know about this one but I want to share it with you now.  For years I dreamed of being the President of the United States.  I could see myself in the Oval Office.  I could see myself making right decisions and governing wisely.  I read scriptures about how when the righteous rule the people rejoice.  Many people say they wouldn't want the job but I wanted to be the go to guy.  I wanted to see if I had what it took.  If you come into my office you will find many books about presidents, the white house and being president.  It was definitely one of my long term goals.  Today, I don't really want to be President anymore.  Why you ask, because it isn't my calling.  I am beginning to wake up to what the Lord has called me to do and I know that isn't it.

So what I have been doing the last couple of days is working on my dreams.  I am writing them down and beginning to think about them.  Many studies show that when we write down our dreams and think about them regularly, this process acts like a magnet drawing us closer and closer to our dreams and goals.  That's pretty cool stuff huh.

See, I think it is important to dream big.  When I dreamed about losing weight, I would see myself skinny.  I would see myself doing all kinds of things.  One thing that really embarrassed me about being big was I couldn't water ski which was big with my family.  But I would see myself being skinny and attractive.  I started confessing everyday that I weighed 205 pounds.  I did this for over a year without dropping a single pound but that dream was resonating inside my spirit every day.  That dream was working inside me and pointing me the right direction.  Then one day, that dream popped in my spirit and the transformation began.  But guess what, I didn't stop at 205.  I went all the way down to 185.  See when we dare to dream and then keep those dreams in front of us, amazing things can happen.

Now let me tie this to a place you may not really understand.  God.  Guess what, he has dreams.  He has dreams about you.  The bible says that He has plans for you.  Plans for your good.  It says in another place that he knew you before the foundation of the world.  Since before the world was founded he was dreaming about you.  That's pretty far out there stuff huh.

Well I want you to get a picture of this.  Think for a minute about that perfect guy or that perfect girl or maybe a car, etc.  Picture him/her/it in your mind.  Think for a second about whatever your goal is.  See yourself in a right relationship (See the Box).  See yourself succeeding.  How does that feel?  Does it touch a nerve in the core of your being?  Does it release a warm feeling inside you?  This might blow your mind but the Lord sits around dreaming of you the same way.  He pictures you in his mind successful.  He pictures you in his mind with the right person.  He sees you enjoying yourself and it brings great pleasure to His soul.  He gets excited about His dreams for your life.  He has a good life planned for you.  He sees you and He spending time together doing things that you love.



And that's another Opinion of the Minion.

My Greatest Failure

Today, I want to talk about failure.  Now, most of the time I try to write positive and upbeat blogs.  When I read what I write, it challenges me to be a better person.  I have always said that if what you see from me is the best you ever see then that is a tragedy because I should get better every day.  But failure is inevitable in life.  We all go through it at some point.  So how do we deal with it?  Does it hurt?  Absolutely.  Do I wish I hadn't failed?  Sure.  Did I fail?  Yes.  Let me use one of my favorite lines from the movie Dirty Dancing, "When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong."  You have to own your failures and successes.

See, I am recently divorced.  I made a commitment before God to stay married to a woman for the rest of my life.  It was a covenant that I couldn't keep.  Now I won't go into all the reasons behind the divorce itself because they aren't important.  Some of my readers know me personally and thus will know my now, ex-wife.  Let me say something about her before I go forward.  I wish her only the best and most happy days in life.  I have done my best to walk through this divorce with integrity and honor.  Have I always been successful?  No.  But this lady, deserves to be happy.  She is a wonderful mother to our three kids and I am very sorry things didn't work out between us.  I want to publicly forgive her for any wrong doing toward me and I ask the same from her.  This is my greatest failure in life.

Do you want to hear all the juicy details of what happened?  Would you like me to blame my wife for our marriage falling apart?  Well, I won't tell you because those things are personal.  Let me just use an old saying, "It takes two to Tango."  We both made mistakes and here we are.

So now let's deal with how it made me feel.  Last Friday was one of the hardest and most rewarding days of my life.  Although we have been separated for over a year and I knew the final divorce decree was coming, I still didn't really believe it.  So when the pressure of the week was over, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I realized that I gave my word to my God and to that lady and I didn't keep it.  I hope you cannot imagine the deep pain I felt.  For a little while, I felt like a complete failure.  What things in your life have caused you to feel this way?  Was it a relationship that ended badly?  Was it a failure at your job or at school?  Regardless of where it comes from, it still really hurts.

When you get that sinking feeling in your gut because of something like this, doesn't it make you just want to run away and hide from everyone?  I mean who would want to be around someone that was a total failure like me?  I told myself that I was the biggest loser ever.  That I had wrecked my life, the life of my kids and my ex-wife.  I was well on my way to beating myself senseless because of my failure.  I threw a world class guilt party.  I was the guest of honor, the entire guest list, the guy who trashes the guest of honor and the guy who throws him in the dumpster at the end of the party.  I invited a very special guest to this party and He wouldn't come.  Can you imagine the audacity of being invited to the Destroy the Minion party and not coming?  That was certainly rude don't you think?  Do you know who the only guest that I actually invited was?  It was God.  I wanted him to condemn me just like I was doing to myself.  I wanted him to tell me that I was worthless and no good just like I was telling myself.

Now, I asked him to forgive me and I knew that he would at some point maybe a few months from now after I really got a thrashing.

When I finally listened to his still small voice, all I could feel was his love for me.  It is a love that I will never, ever deserve but it's there.  I can't escape it.  Do you know when he actually forgave me for my greatest failure?  When did He finally forgive me for breaking a covenant that I made in front of Him?  The instant I asked for it.  I didn't have to wait three weeks.  It was instantaneous.  He knew before the foundation of the world that I would make mistakes and he forgave me as soon as I asked.  That is the reason Jesus shed his blood on the cross.  It was to erase my sin.  If I asked God to forgive me now, he wouldn't know what I was talking about because He is a forgive and forget God.  He doesn't hold these things against me.  Guess what, when you ask Him for forgiveness, He does the same thing toward you.  He loves you unconditionally, no matter what, all the time, forever and ever with every fibre of His being.  He only wants good things for your life and He can take our bad mistakes and turn them into something good.  He doesn't want the bad mistakes because He hates to see us in the pain that they cause but He has a million ways to make things OK.

Back to the Guilt Party - It's fine that God forgave me but I am still at this party.  After all, if he won't have the decency to show up, I will do his job for him.  I will beat myself silly.  I can call myself all kinds of ugly names.  I mean I know all my deepest, darkest secrets and who better than me to dredge them all up and use them against me now.  Here is my major problem with this.  If God won't condemn me and trash me out, what right do I have to do it.  If he is willing to extend forgiveness to me what right do I have to keep holding the grudge against myself?  So here's what I did.  At 4:24 on Friday, July 29, 2011, I forgave myself.  When it happened, it was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders.  I felt so light and good.  I felt like it was OK for me to be happy again.  All of the sudden the world turned right side up.  God totally wrecked my party and I am so glad He did.

Have you ever felt this way?  I have watched many people do this to themselves so I know that I am not alone.  I think most of us have.  What are you refusing to forgive yourself for?  If someone who did you wrong came to you with an honest and sincere repentance on their face and asked you to forgive them for something they did wrong, would you do it?  I think probably you would.  So why can't you forgive yourself?  If you ask God for forgiveness he gives it to you instantly.  All I am asking is for you to extend the same grace to yourself that he did.  I know this is a process and I want to encourage you to keep at it.

Well friends, I intended this blog to talk about my greatest failure which it did but I can honestly say that I have blogged myself happy again.

And that's another Opinion of His Minion

About the Minion

A couple of days ago, I posted on FaceBook and asked for you to give me some suggestions for Opinions.  Well, most of you asked personal questions about me, about what I like or don't like.  So, I am going to take a few minutes and tell you a little about me.  There are a few conditions though:

1.  Since I am telling you about me, I want to know more about you.  Sound off and give me your opinions on these things.
2.  There are some things you asked about that are more serious topics so I will save those for separate Opinions.
3.  As I am sure most of you know, I am just a normal guy and not associated with the movie.  These are just the things at I like personally.

So without further delay, let's get to it.

1.  MIG - Favorite Food? - I like all kinds of food now but my all time favorite is pepperoni pizza.

2.  HBR - Drama - I will do another Opinion dealing with how to handle real life drama at some point.  I am not big on drama in my personal life although I get plenty of it.  In the movies, I am not a real big fan of dramas either.  However, a friend of mine "made" me watch a movie called, "The Notebook."  I have to say, that was one of the best movies I have ever watched.  I am a sucker for romances and this was one of the best I have ever seen.

3.  TD - Movies and Music - Well, TD, I like all kinds of movies.  Mostly I prefer comedies or romantic comedies because I very much like to laugh and I am a sucker for a happy ending.  I also like to see the girl and the guy end up together at the end.  I don't like movies that don't have happy endings.  Why?  Because if I want an unhappy ending, I will watch the local news where there are plenty of not nice stories.  Occasionally I like to watch science fiction if it is about outer space and I like action adventure movies.  (After all, I am a guy.)  Because I have kids, I watch a lot of Disney/Pixar movies (Believe it or not, I have not seen all of Despicable Me).  I don't like horror movies at all.  I was always afraid of them as a little kid and decided I didn't like those.

3a.  TD - Music - I like many types of music.  I like country music (I am a Texan) and I like Christian music.  I enjoy listening to classical, pop, and some "old" rock.  You know, the stuff from the 1980s.  I am not a big fan of rap but I do have a couple of songs on my Ipod.

4.  IA - Comedy - This is perhaps my all time favorite movie type of entertainment.  When we laugh, something happens inside us that helps us feel better and I am all for anything like that.

5.  DV - Please don't get mad but I haven't seen the Harry Potter movie so I really don't know anything about it.  I love the author's story though.  It's quite inspiring.

6.  ED - Pie vs. Cake - Well let me say, I use to weigh 350 pounds so I like pie and cake both.  I would have to say that my favorite is pecan pie.  My grandmother makes the best homemade pecan pie I have ever eaten and I guess I have always been a little partial.  For cake, lemon cake with thick lemon icing is my favorite.

7.  SAT - Pepsi vs. Coke - Good question.  Like I said earlier, I used to weigh 350 pounds so I only drink diet cokes (I know diet cokes are bad for you or at least that is what a good friend keeps telling me).  That said, I always thought that diet Coke had a funny after taste so I would have to say diet Pepsi.  I do like Coke Zero though.

8.  BV - Apple vs Banana - I like apples (if you are old enough to get the Goodwill Hunting reference then its OK to laugh) but I prefer bananas.  I especially like to take a banana and mix it with peanut butter and make a sandwich.

9.  CO - friendships vs. family relationships - I think this is an excellent topic and I will talk about it separately.

10.  LB - Briefs or boxers - This one is way too embarrassing for me to answer.  I am glad you can't see how badly I am blushing.

11.  AG - A butler vs. a nanny - I have never had either one so I guess I can't really decide.  Do you have them and if so, what would you pick?

12.  GR - Pineapples or peaches - Again, I like both but my favorite is probably peaches especially when they are used to make peach cobbler.

13.  WN - Family Guy or Southpark - I really don't watch too much TV.  As a matter of fact, the only shows I really followed over the last several years were Battlestar Galactica and Smallville.  Now that those are off the air, I don't watch much.  That said, I have never seen a full episode of either Family Guy or Southpark so I don't know.

14.  DM - bathroom humor - OK I know that at my age I shouldn't laugh at this stuff and for the most part I really don't but occasionally something funny happens that makes me laugh.  I can think of one story about something my daughter said regarding this topic that still makes me laugh.  I really don't know why.

15.  MH and CO - Pandora's box - Again MH and CO bring up an excellent point that I will try to address in another post.



17.  CLUA - Ice Cream - I guess I gave this one away already.  Yes, I love ice cream.  My favorite flavor is butter pecan because that is what my granddad used to love.  I like almost every flavor.  When I was really big, I could eat a gallon of ice cream in two days.

AP - Cupcakes - Yes, I like cup cakes.  My favorites have that thick icing.  I think it's called butter cream icing.  Whatever it is, yes it is very good.

Well everyone, I think I have addressed all of the questions you asked on FaceBook.  If you want me to answer any more, please send them in and I will do my best.

Thank you all for giving me a chance to show you a little of what is in my box.  This has been really fun and I enjoyed writing it.  The funny thing is you made me stop and think about myself in a fun way.  I don't think I have done that in years!

And that's several Opinions of the Minion